Puff the Not so Magical Dragon

Puff was a dragon. Not one of these magical kinds who live by the sea or in the lands of Honah lee, but the kind that lived in the forests of Aldershot (which is a town in Hampshire, England), in a tree house decorated with a hole array of fancy treasurers such as sealing wax and a silver plated calligraphy set.

Puff spent his days watching the local barracks.  His favourite place to watch was the parade ground, and on one ‘sunny’ Aldershot day he watched these event unfold.

To the north of the square was a General giving a small speech to some new recruits and to the south was a Sargent preparing a squad of solider for some drill.

“Well, of course, warfare isn't all fun. It's all very well to laugh at the Military, but, when one considers the meaning of life, it is a struggle between alternative viewpoints of life itself, and without the ability to defend one's own viewpoint against other perhaps more aggressive ideologies, then reasonableness and moderation could, quite simply, disappear. That is why we'll always need an army, and may God strike me down were it to be otherwise.” The General said which was quickly followed by a bolt of lightning being shot from a giant hand appearing from the clouds above. Which turned the General to a pile of ash.

Meanwhile in the south of the square the squad of soldiers were dumbfounded by this random act.

“Don't stand there gawping like you've never seen the Hand of God before!” shouted the drill sergeant, “Now, today, we're going to do marching up and down the square!” He paused.

“That is, unless any of you got anything better to do. Well?! Anyone got anything they'd rather be doing than marching up and down the square?!”

One of the soldiers raised their hands nervously.

“Yes?! Atkinson. What would you... rather be doing, Atkinson?” questioned the Sargent.

“Well, to be quite honest, Sarge, I'd... rather be at home with the wife and kids.” Replied Atkinson.

“Would you, now?!”

“Yes, Sarge.”

The Sargent paused.

“Right! Off you go! Now, everybody else happy with my little plan... of marching up and down the square a bit?”

The squad paused with the look of confusion. While Atkinson quick darted away.

Then a second soldiers then raised his hand, and said “Sarge!”

“Yes?!”

“I've got a book I'd quite like to read.”

The sergeant stared at him for a second, then said “Right! You go read your book, then! Now! Everybody else... quite content to join in... with my little scheme of marching up and down the square?!”

A third soldier raised his hand while the pervious soldier darted off to read his book.

“Sarge?” the soldier question.

“Yes, Wyclif?! What is it?!

“Well, I'm, uh, learning the piano.”

“Learning the piano?!”

“Yes, Sarge.”

“And I suppose you want to go and practice, eh? Marching up and down the square not good enough for you, eh?!”

“Well,…”

“Right! Off you go!”

“Oh.”

“Now! What about the rest of you?” the Sargent paused “Rather be at the pictures, I suppose.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ooh, yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right.”  The soldiers said in unison.

“All right! Off you go!” the Sargent shouted, “Bloody army! I don't know what it's coming to. Right! Sargent Major, marching up and down the square. Left, right, left. Left...”

The Sargent then began to pace the square while the squad ran off to do there more important tasks.

Puff giggled to himself and flew back to his tree house. He spent most of his days watching the army and their coincidental relations to Monty Python sketches. As the sands of time passed, so did his jealousy of other dragons from books (such as Smaug from The hobbit) who could use magic. Puff then decided to create a plan to obtain magic.

The first part of the plan was to find a dragon, and as we all know this was going to be a near impossible task as dragons are not easy to find. Puff searched high and low, far and wide. He even traveled to Wales to see if there could be something other than sheep, and somehow succeeded. He found a traveling mythical creature; it looked like mouse but it had antlers and wings. Puff approached the creature, and said “Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help?”

“Of course, how may I be of service?” replied the creature.

“I’m looking for a magical dragon?”

“Well you are all out of luck my friend, all the magical dragons died out in the middle ages, in fact I do believe you are one of if not the last dragon at all,… I am, deeply sorry, but, I can't help you.”

“Oh …” Puff pause and became overwhelmed with grief and isolation. The creature comforted Puff by hugging his ankle (as he could not reach any higher).

“Mr Dragon …”

“It’s Puff”

“Okay, I’m Randler, and I think I know someone who can befriend and help you”

“Who”

“His name is Belvidere, he is a cockatrice and very magical. He is looking for mythical beasts, to join his quest to rid the world of evils such as pigs blood tacos.”

“I would be honoured to do so, where may I find him?”

“I shall show you”

Randler then climbed on Puff’s neck and guided him to the Republic of Cheeseistain the mythical home of the mythical beasts (imagine the never ending story theme tune). The journey was long however the weather was a lot nicer than the weather of Aldershot, but eventually they arrived.

Cheeseistain was filled with a how array of mythical creatures, everything from unicorns to candyfloss beings. Randler lead Puff through the wonders to a cave, unlike a cave that has ever been seen. It sparkled and the rocks appeared to be made of different gem stones. There were rubies and diamonds, emeralds and opals. The path through the cave filled Puff with an unusual energy.

A few minutes passed and the path opened to a large cavern filled with Gold and gems and treasure like that has never been see such a pot of Nutella and Skippy peanut butter in a golden jar. In the centre of the room was a proud cockatrice talking to centaur. Randler and Puff approached the cockatrice.

“Welcome home Randler, who is you friend?” Belvidere said.

“This is Puff, the last of the dragons, and has no magic”

“Well, Mr Puff, I am sorry to hear you are the last of your kin, but you are welcome in our courts in our ever going quest to rid the lands or evils - such as Liver. I would like to offer you the place as one of our treasurers, as you have a born gift for appraisal.”

“I would be honoured, for your gift. It would give me purpose again.”

And from that day, and every other day until the sands of time ran out Puff looked after the mythical treasure and help rid the world of evils. However he never learned the art of magic.

The End