By Request- Quotes (Pages 1-2)

Okay, I asked my friend for a favorite quote (*cough* just one *cough*) and was sent an 11 page document full of quotes. I shortened it to ten pages so I could print it for free at school, and looked through it. Please note that these were all selected by my amazing friend, and a lot of them are excellent. Feel free to read them. 

If you want to see the document, click here.

Here's a sampling, though, pages 1-2.

Here you go, love! I hope this is enough for your project. [rest of message deleted here] -T
     Opinions are like armpits: Everybody has two of them and they stink most of the time.
--Anonymous
·         Vegetarian is an old Indian word meaning bad hunter.
--Anonymous
·         The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name.
- Aldous Huxley
·         When all else fails, read the instructions.  
--Cahn's Axiom
·         He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.
- Douglas Adams
·         I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
- E. V. Lucas
·         Virtue has never been as respectable as money.  
--Mark Twain
·         Hurry! I never hurry. I have no time to hurry.  
--Igor Stravinsky
·         A sense of duty is useful in work, but offensive in personal relations. People wish to be liked, not be endured with patient resignation.
- Bertrand Russell
·         Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.  
--Oscar Fingall O’Flahertie Wills Wilde
·         If you think nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
--Earl Wilson
·         Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
- Peter De Vries
·         All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten
--Robert Fulghum
·         Sanity is a madness put to good use.
- George Santayana
·         I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
--Winston Churchill
·         The easiest person to deceive is one’s own self.  
--Edward George Earle Bulwer-Lytton
·         The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews.
- William Faulkner
·         The quest for riches darkens the sense of right and wrong.  
--Antiphanes, ancient Greek dramatist
·         A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.
- Wilson Mizner
·         You cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do.  
--Liz Smith
·         People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history.
- Dan Quayle
·         A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.  
--Robert Burton
·         Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night.
- Philip K. Dick
·         Who in their right mind would ever need more than 640K of RAM!?  
--Bill Gates
·         Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.
- Edgar Allan Poe
·         A civilization is built on what is required of men, not on that which is provided for them.  
--Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
·         If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
- Harry S Truman
·         Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.  
--Dr. Laurence J. Peter
·         Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
- Albert Einstein
·         All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
 --Jane Wagner
·         When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
- Hunter S. Thompson
·         If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
- Doug Larson
·         Patience is the companion of wisdom.
--Anonymous
·         I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
- J. R. R. Tolkien
·         My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
- Benjamin Disraeli
·         When you come to a fork in the road...take it.  
--Yogi Berra
·         Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to be always part of unanimity.
- Christopher Morley