RhettandLinKommunity

Home of Rhett & Link fans - the Mythical Beasts!

Because so many new members to the Kommunity ask this question,

I decided to put my standard response into a blog and link it to the

Rhett & Link 101 information page

HOW  TO  GET  A  MYTHICAL  BEAST  NAME  IN  SEVEN  EASY  STEPS

  • Travel deep into the forest and chop down a large oak tree. Minimum 27.5" radius, although the tree's height is irrelevant for this application.

  

  • Keep the tree stump moistened by spraying liberally with a 50/50 mixture of soured buttermilk and billy goat urine every day until the stump rots to below ground level (approx.  3 1/2 years) 
  • Once sufficiently rotted, dig a pit three feet deep by five feet in diamater where the oak tree once stood. Coat the pit with a mixture of red clay soil, chopped straw and boysenberry jam. Allow the clay mixture to dry for 24 hours, then fill the pit with red-hot coals from a fire burning either cedar or bald cypress logs and "season" the pit walls until it becomes hardened to red brick consistency.

   

  • For best results, the remaining steps must be carried out at midnight of the first full moon following Summer Solstice and while wearing glow-in-the-dark night clothing such as illustrated below.    

Well, okay, the timing is mandatory. Wearing the jammies is just because I think it's funny.  

Available at:  http://snugasabug.com/adult-footed-pajamas

 

  • Fill the stump pit with boiled oatmeal seasoned with cinnamon and honey. 

  • Hide behind the nearby shrubbery with a flashlight and net as you wait to capture the pixies and fairies that come to feast on the oatmeal.  You can try capturing by hand if you think you are quick enough, but be very careful not to crush or damage any of the woodland creatures as this would be a violation of International Fairy Protection laws. 

  

  • Solicit mythical beast name suggestions from the captured pixies and faeries, and then release them back into the woods.  Most authorities on this subject recommend that you gather at least seven (7) mythical beast name suggestions. It is also better to take one or two suggestions from several different woodland creatures instead of several suggestions from one woodland creature, just in case you have captured one that is totally insane or just plain dumb.  Additionally, gathering a larger pool of name suggestions will allow you to make your best and final name selection at your leisure back at home while sipping a cup of hot cocoa. And who doesn't like that? 

            

            Caution:

             DO NOT solicit names from any elves, sprites, goblins or gnomes that might come to the pit for

             a snack, as these ethereal creatures are all know to be notoriously bad namer givers.

 

  • Alternative Method:  
  • Just make up one that you like.  Just about anything is fair game; keep it clean and "family friendly".  Then go into the "Settings"  tool and add the name you select behind your human or otherworldly name in parentheses. That's about it.

 

Additional suggestions are given by Katie (Unicorndawg) at her discussion topic:

How to come up with your Mythical Beast Name

Illustration by Marcus Bean (El Gran Rato)

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Comment by Sarah (Majestic Awkward Axolotl) on February 21, 2014 at 4:53pm

I must go

My tree stump needs me

Comment by Ursula (Urmel) on February 8, 2014 at 7:41pm

Wow, you put a lot of research into this. I am impressed. So I just need to buy a billy goat and in 4 or five years I am going to have a name. Awesome!

Comment by Marsey Thomas (Darkwing1207) on August 2, 2013 at 8:23pm

My own little pixie gave me the perfect mythical beast name. She has lived with me since she was born and knows me extremely well. But, she insists on calling me Mom.


K-Mod
Comment by Gumbo123 on July 31, 2013 at 2:47pm

@ Marsey Thomas ~ Yes, I can't tell you how many kommunity members have told me that they had a similar experience without knowing what this activity might lead to.   Lucky for most that they only used sweet milk instead of soured buttermilk in their stumprot solution, or the world would be overrun with pixies and faeries.

Comment by Marsey Thomas (Darkwing1207) on July 31, 2013 at 2:08pm

Oh wow! I did this years ago to a tree stump of a tree that fell in my front yard! Little did I know that this seemingly insane ritual would one day be useful in my quest for a mythical name. I must go and prepare oatmeal!!!!!

Comment by Michael McVickar on July 11, 2013 at 10:44pm

That hilarious!

Comment by luke (Poop Master) on July 8, 2013 at 12:19pm

cant stop laughing but imma go cut a tree down and do ALL THE STEPS

Comment by Mary on June 30, 2013 at 10:06pm
Hahhahaaaa! That made my day!

K-Mod
Comment by Gumbo123 on June 5, 2013 at 11:12am

@ DrWhoFan611 - - some people never will

 

@ Bhakti Patil - - you get it.  ENJOY!

Comment by Bhakti Patil on June 5, 2013 at 8:35am

Oh my gosh. I can't stop laughing :D

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