Gumbo's Guide to: Computer Commands

Computers are more than just televisions that let you buy stamps. Your keyboard is a gateway to a number of convenient commands to create, edit and share your documents. A real computer-head should be able to name all of the following:

Save: Lets you save your work for future generations of computers to read and  laugh at

Open: Lets you access a previously saved document to add cool new ideas you dreamed up last night

Undo: Erases your most recent mistake—or confessed forbidden desire—so that no one will ever know you typed it

Redo: Drags the truth of your secret failings back into the harsh light of the monitor

Copy: Lets you copy the work of a more experienced writer, usually by inserting multiple paragraph excerpts of more obscure David Foster Wallace essays

Properties: It’s never too early to start looking at these helpful real estate listings in your area.

Print: Makes a real-life ink-and-paper copy of your document for you to throw away later