Greg, the Dog, a look back: Aw nuts!

Sorry for being so utterly late, but as usual, I have a reasonable reason:

I was lying around, thinking about what delightful things might happen to me that day (sarcasm intended), when Jim walked up. He  seemed very angry and shouted about missing nuts and me having been the one to steal them.

I had no idea where this idea came from. I have no opposable thumbs, and nothing to gain by taking his nuts. When I made this clear he argued, saying that there are an infinite number of things one could to with nuts like his (I let that one go). Then he ordered me to follow him. He was in a type of mood that made me afraid not to follow him. But then… ZAP!!!

Jim looked irked, and told me that we were going to resolve this “dilemma”. Living in the local park, there is a judge for the squirrels’ court. The squirrels’ court. Anyway, I was told he would judge this case, and would decide "What horrible punishments should be dealt unto me." Since I couldn’t get to them, they would bring the court to me.

Judge Squagyulgar presided over my my case (apparently Jim is one of the more abnormal squirrel names). The squirrel-judges are very bias toward the… Squirreldome? Squirrelians? Squirrellesques? … The squirrely-side. No matter how many times I professed my innocence, I was called out of order. My court appointed squirrel-lawyer was no help either. He just nervously chattered beside me, shoving more and more bits of pine cones into his mouth, making it where he couldn’t be understood. In the end, I was sentenced to three weeks in squirrel-prison, A.K.A. a hole in a tree.

Me… in a tree hole. I was not bred to live in a squirrel cell.

But I’m out now… and the world is bright and beautiful. Well, dim and decent looking.

I hope this excuse satisfies you, next post will (most likely)be Wednesday.

This is one of my favorites, from the wording to the punchlines.

Peyton (Greg, the Dog)