Aimee's Pets- Unabridged

Maddie asked me to tell her about this... but then she left. So I thought I'd share the pathetic story of my pet life with you. Why did I have such misfortune regarding these things? I'll probably never know, but it makes for an interesting story.

PROLOGUE. We moved around a lot, not more than a lot of people, but still quite a bit. And we know how anti-mammal-and-other-nonmammal-things Landlords can be. So, my dad is allergic to cats and rabbits, an allergy which I thankfully do not share. So, what brought about this misfortune in my pet-life? I don't know, but it happened.

PART 1. When I was born, my parents had this lovely Golden Retriever named Jackie. She was sweet and kind and whatnot. A few years later, my parents were gifted another Golden Retriever named Sebastian, nicknamed Sebas.One day in 2nd grade, I came back home and Sebas and Jackie had been given away. I was never told beforehand, and I never fully got over the loss of two of my best friends.

 CHAPTER 2. My grandparents gave us their aquarium of fish, a lot of fish, very beautiful. We fed them everyday, but their thirst for blood was too great for us to satisfy. Soon, these seemingly harmless aquatic creatures turned on each other. We would come back home and some fish would be gone. Others would have bite marks in them, or be missing eyes. They eliminated each other, one by one, until only the poorly-named Nemo was left. Overcome with grief, we kept feeding the abominable creature, but it soon died, as its cannibalistic nature failed to be satiated.

To this day we still shudder at the thought of them.

CHAPTER 3. The Gecko was the next pet we got. Well, he wasn't ours. My older brother bought him with his own money, and named him Ralph. His stay was an interesting one. We loved the Gecko, as it would amuse us every day, and didn't seem like it would bite our fingers and eat through our very souls off out of pure hatred (see Chapter 2). Until one day, we had to go away for a week (for inexplicable reasons), and my brother left him in charge of a friend. This friend, whom we will nickname "Bob" for privacy purposes (and because Bob rhymes with sob), loved Ralph as much as we did, but one day, washed his cage with some deadly chemical-ridden cleaning agent that ended up causing the demise of our beloved Gecko. We held a funeral for Ralph, very tear-filled and childish, but a funeral nonetheless.

CHAPTER 4. This is an experience my brain mostly blocked out, so this part will be short. I had a frog that for some reason I named Libby (it sounds weird in Spanish). She had orange spots like Ralph and would hop around happily in her habitat. We had to catch insects and the like to feed her (was it a her?) so I would get hours of pointless entertainment, which was a bonus. One fateful day, my dad decided to feed the frog. Now, some of you may know that my house used to be infested with poisonous spiders. Poisonous spiders + innocent frog = ...... yeah, you figure it out.

CHAPTER 5. Here comes the irony of it all. A spider had killed my Libby. But my big brother decided it would be awesome to go out and buy himself a tarantula while my parents weren't looking. (where did he GET all this money?! Oh, right, he took it from my parents). This spider would taunt me day in and day out, sucking the life out of crickets and maggots all while I just glared at it. It was a vile creature, and I hated it. I mean, I hate spiders enough as it is. You would too if your house was infested by them at one point in time. This spider traumatized me. One time it hid itself (just to mock me) in the sawdust of its cage, making me think it had escaped and giving me the worst dayandnight of my life. It was a horrible creature. My mom finally gave it back to the pet shop. 

CHAPTER 6. My dad never trusted me again after the Libby incident (Hello?! Earth to dad! It was YOUR fault, not mine), so I haven't really had a pet since he believes me incapable of maintaining one (even though all the pets we have lost -sans Ralph- have been because of him). One day my mom bought my abuelita some little birdies (this was in Cali), but since she had to go away we got to take care of them. They were pretty adorable, but, anyone who knows birds knows they're messy and disgusting. They sang to me though, and I liked them. Until my Abuelita took them back. 

EPILOGUE. I haven't had a pet since Elementary School, no matter how much I've begged for one. But this is my sad tale of many pets, and I decided I would share it with all who would listen.

Who wants a more detailed version of the Cannibalistic Fish story? I promise, it has a lot of disturbingly hilarious moments.