How To Eliminate Fear by Turning Nightmares to Dreams Come True

This is a discussion which started in the comment section of the group.

I have had my fair share of nightmares but I learned to face the fear in the dream and understand where it was coming from and how I had the qualities to overcome them and learn some new things which helped me to not even be afraid anymore.

For example, I once had a dream about being chased by a bear but then I turned to face it and in the dream I wasn't attacked. Later i had dreams of a bear approaching me but I wasn't scared anymore. I don't try to control the dream necessarily, in the same way that is written about in lucid dreaming books, but I try to understand, and perhaps control or flip, the negative emotion that comes up and then the dreams which come feel very lucid and free and wonderful.

So when you are beginning with this kind of dreamwork, you can start by just asking yourself what is the biggest fear in the dream, what is the worst part...and then here's the hard part...ask yourself where in real life do you feel that same fear?

It might be feelings of fear of losing a job, or a relationship ending, or running out of money, or stuff like that.

Start there, and then when it's clear what the real life fear is, think about if it has happened before to you in life. If it has happened before, it means you have a real fear about it happening again and the solution is to learn a new skill or quality, such as Courage, or Enthusiasm, or Patience so that when you move forward you have new qualities to call on and in this way you will not feel so afraid.

If the thing you fear never happened to you before, it means it is anxiety not fear, and the solution to anxiety is about having a lot of confidence about what you already do well and repeating it often. Remember what you do well, remember what you're good at, remember when you have solved or fixed things in the past and then do what you did before again. In this way the future can be really positive!

I'd love to read about people's nightmares and see if this might help to work through them. When the negatives are flipped to positives like this you'll be surprised how lucid and free dreams can be.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Monika (Firstborn Unicorn) on December 23, 2016 at 3:08am

I have only one serious fear - emetophobia. Sometimes I face it in dreams too but never in a lucid dream yet. I have lucid dreams only about once a week. I'm pretty sure that if the fear attacks me in a lucid dream I won't be scared (or maybe not as much as in real life). This will be the possibility to overcome my phobia.
The question is, should I force the confrontation and actually try to meet my fears in a dream or should I wait for them to come? I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough and not experienced enough. Maybe I should try it after I learn to control the dreams more?

Permalink Reply by Rachel Perry on December 23, 2016 at 11:41am

Dear Firstborn Unicorn,

It is so great to read your reply and I acknowledge your courage for openly sharing your biggest fear. You are totally on the right path and no I wouldn't say confronting the fear is the way to go about it. Instead, think about what is the worst part for you - what are you afraid of the most about this issue - and then think of what quality would help the next time the fear shows up. In this case, it might be a quality of Peacefulness or Patience. Just a random question - do you run at all or do any sports?

Permalink Reply by Monika (Firstborn Unicorn) on December 23, 2016 at 12:52pm

Dear Rachel Perry,
Thank you very much for your advice. I was thinking of a different, probably wrong way of overcoming my fear, more like a fight. However, I agree that I should use positive emotions rather than violence, which could affect me in a negative way. I will try to strengthen myself instead of weakening the phobia, which would be more difficult and maybe even dangerous. Thanks for showing me this solution.
I don't run. I only cycle sometimes (but not in the winter). I prefer watching sports on TV :D
Sorry for my bad English - not my native language :(