Blog No.2

Well, if anyone found my first blog to be either entaining or just agreed with what I had to say, then you may have wanted to know what I had to say next. Well to be honest, what's bugging me right now is a real biggy, so if you think you can handle it, hold on to your hats, cos I feel this one is going to be a monster.

Today I heard that all to familiar phrase that really makes you feel like the worlds biggest idiot, and those words being "Don't like you in that way, only as a friend". I mean, let's face it, noone likes to be knocked back, from anything, but when it comes down to relationships, it comes to an entirely new level of hurt. I've been through this stupid circle of events way too many times now to not know the score, and for the whole rejection thing to almost be normal. It doesn't even bother me really. And this is one of the things that bothers me about my life as it has been so far. Through my life since I moved to Wales as a child, I recieved no end of trouble for being English. For 10 years now, I have been relentlessly hounded through verbal and physical abuse that has step by step turned me into exactly who I never wanted to be. I have become someone who relies on secrets to protect themselves, and lives and a social drfite.

I mean, not fitting in at school is hardly the end of the world, as the people who truly become your friends for life are the people you meet at uni and your work collegues when you finally get a job, so I never let myself get bothered by that stuff, but for some reason, relationships seem to be an entirely different kettle of fish. I don't know about anyone else, but I get this feeling that relationships is a true test of the kind of person you are as you develop, as in, whether the way you are makes people want to spend more time with you, and what kind of people actually are drawn to you. Sadly, for me, I havn't really had the opertunity to see what kind of people are actually drawn to me, as I get rejected all too often.

But what makes things all the more annoying is when they that they won't make anything awkward as they want things to saty how they were. That has to be a blatant lie, as they now know how you feel, and so will be more cautious about what they say around you just incase. Plus there's the fact that they stop talking to you for aaages simply because they feel awkward.

So what are you getting at I hear you say? Well in a very roundabout way, my issue behind the rant today is the fact that girls seem to find it OK to lie about what the real situation and feeling is when it comes down to a relationship that they don't want to know about. I mean, fair enough, you don't want to be in a relationship, that's fine, it's your life, you're free to live it your way, but what is not OK, and what really annoys me, is the fact that you can feel OK with being so blazé and off hand about it. Guys do have feelings you know, it it just so happens that yet again, mine have been thoroughly crushed by your lack of consideration for another persons feelings.

So what can you take away from this? In a few words, I have a strong dislike for girls with no care for how they put things across, no matter how big a lie they happen to be saying. And because of that, I just don't want to know any more.

Yes, today's rant has been a little dark, but the reason behind it is because yet again I found myself on the firing line of a girl who clearly doesn't care about how I feel. So in conclusion, girls, if you've got nothing helpful to say, don't say anything at all, cos it does more harm than good. Trust me. I know :/

Till next time (if there is one ;) )

Gareth :)