The Mythical Bacallo

 The Bacallo: pronounced “Bake-a-Low” (2 parts buffalo 1 part bacon essence, this mythical creature allures victims to their doom through its mythical sent. Once ensnared, like a sirens song, men’s minds go blank as they begin to quest towards their own destruction)

Legend says the Bacallo was formed when Absalom's prize buffalo Pika fell ill with an incurable disease of bowls. In response, Absalom's trusted friends, along with 30 of King David's mighty men sought out on a quest to discover the Mythical Bacon Tree and bring back some of it's fruit for the ill buffalo. The Bacon Tree's fruit, it is said endows the eater with all the Mythical powers of Bacon, and thus it was thought to be able to cure any disease. The party journeyed across seas, across distant lands, and back again, until they happened upon the last remaining Nephilim. Once appeased by the group's demonstrated strength, wisdom and faith, the Nephilim revealed the location of the mythical Bacon Tree, but made all of them swear an unbreakable vow to never reveal the location of the tree, nor eat any of it's fruit, for man is not permitted to taste such things. Absalom's friends were too tired to carry on, and so David's 30 continued the journey alone. They came upon the tree, and having been marked by the Nephilim with a seal of their vow, were allowed to pluck a single piece of bacon from the tree, without being dismembered by the swords. With prize in hand, the men rejoined their companions and set back to comfort young Absalom. Before leaving the Naphilim, they were warned that if they were to give the bacon to Pika, he would no longer be approachable. 

When they returned they told Absalom and King David of their journey, the vows, and the warning, and presented to him the mythical bacon. Young Solomon suggested that Pika be taken to a distant field, so that if the results of this endeavor were disastrous, things would occur outside the city limits. This suggestion seemed wise to all of those in power and thus Pika was carefully moved to a distant field by King David's trusted men and allowed to eat the Bacon from the Mythical Bacon tree. Suddenly a bright light appeared and spoke to those around, warning them to flee this place, for there now existed a creature that was unapproachable in the land. They fled and did not look back. When they had reached a safe distance three days journey from the lands, they hid in a large cave fearful for what they had done. That evening a light appeared to them and instructed them on what to do. They were to burn all their clothes, wash 7 times in the underground lake inside the cave and then put on the new clothes inside a chest hidden behind a large boulder in a small room on the other side of the lake. Having done all these things the men were then instructed to tell only King David and Absalom of the events which had taken place, and to proclaim the fields where Pike now resided as unclean, and unapproachable. 

(This story is totally fictional and just made up today March 11/ 2011)