The Doctor Has Returned

~There is a group of people sitting around a table that has a picture frame on it.

 

Person 1:

        Yes!  It’s true I saw it with my own eyes!

Person 2:

        It’s impossible, IMPOSSIBLE!

Person 3:

        Are you absolutely sure it is the doctor?

Person 1:

        Yes, yes!  I saw the phone booth and found this.

                Person 1 lays on the table an odd looking device. 

Person 4:

        The screw driver!

 

Person 5:

        It’s probably just a fake.  The doctor disappeared eons ago, no one has seen him.

 

                Person 6 is standing in the dark behind person 3 and 4.

Person 6:

        True, no one has seen him because obviously something so drastic and devastating has happened to him, but the new doctor on the other hand I hear is pretty and eye catching.

 

Person 5:

        I wish I could believe you, but I think the Doctor is officially dead.  

Person 6:

        Depends.  I sure do wonder what has happened to the old bloke, probably never came back after a space mission or something.  He wasn’t that amazing anyway.  Just a crazy guy who lost his marbles before he was even born-

Person 3:

        How dare you talk about the Doctor that way!  I bet you have never even seen him.  Who are you anyway?   I don’t remember having a sixth person invited on such a private meeting.

 

 

Person 6:

        Oh darn, it appears that my cover has been blown indeed, surely you guys have caught on by now.

        Person six reaches between person 3 and 4 to get the screwdriver.  Person six looks at it, flips it in the air, catches it, and sticks it in their pocket.

Person 6:

        By the way, I’d like to have my screw driver back.  It was given to me by my dad.

               

                Everyone looked at person six.

Person 5:

        But you can’t be the doctor; you’re ah…ah-

Person 6:

        Ah-ah what?  A girl?  By Jones I think you just figured out my anatomy!  Congratulations!  Now if you don’t mind-

 

        Person 6 who is DW takes her screwdriver and scans everyone’s head.

 

 

 

 

DW: 

        Ok, everyone seems to be in working order, no one is a spy…yet.  So in the mean time let’s just go around and talk about our feelings and introduce yourselves to me.

                Everyone just stared at the doctor. 

DW:

        Fine.  Want me to go first to break the ice?  That’s fine that’s fine…  Alrighty.  Well let’s see, I’m the doctor.  Now it’s your turn.

 

Person 3:

        But who are you?  Really?

DW:

        Ah, but that would be telling now wouldn’t it?  Go on, state your names.

Person 1:

        It is such an honor to meet you Doctor.  My name is George Stedman.  Big fan, really big fan especially of your fathers.

        George is shaking her hand violently.

DW:

        Yes well- *she lets go of his hand and wipes it on her coat* thank you.  NEXT!?

Person 2:

        I am Samantha Higgins Doctor.

DW:

        OH!  So you’re a doctor too!

Samantha:

        No I was just stating your name after my own.

DW:

        Oh I see, thank you Sam.

Person 3:

        I am Gretchen Gilbarts.  Daughter of-

DW:

        Why do you look so familiar?  It’s like, I’ve seen you somewhere.

Gretchen:

        My dad owns a-

DW:

        Ah of course!  You’re the-oops better not tell, that’s another secret ha-HA! NEXT!  Hurry hurry next I’m awfully busy you know.

Person 4:

        Actually we don’t know.

DW:

        Ah, you must be the brains of this organization is that it?  The little professor of the group?  Tell me professor…

                DW gets right in Person 4’s face.

DW:

        Do you know what the molecular structure is of an atom that has been soaked in a bath of hot acid that was made on the planet of tun-tun in the year 3694?

Person 4:

        Well, I don’t really, but I’m not-

DW:

        AH HA!  You professors don’t know anything!

Person 5:

        Actually doctor, I’m the professor.  The person whose space you are invading is my dog trainer, Holly.  I’m the professor.

 

                The doctor looks at Holly then back at the professor.

DW:

        So sorry my dear.

                The doctor walks over to person five and sticks her face in front of his like she did with Holly.

DW:

        DO YOU KNOW-

Professor:

        -what the molecular structure is of an atom that has been soaked in a bath of hot acid that was made on the planet of tun-tun in the year 3694?  Yes I do.  It actually three parts carbon, one part nitro sulfate and five part acid.

                The doctor slowly backed away from the professors’ face.

DW:

        Yes…very good professor, the abstract nitroglycerin.  Very good, I’m proud.

                The doctor takes a step back and everyone is turned around looking at her.  She claps her hands together had smiles.

DW:

        Now that we all know each other and are one big happy family, let’s go back in time shall we?  Oh, but not all of you, don’t worry, I’ll pick so you don’t have to be shy about volunteering.  Let’s go with George shall we?  He seems most excited about meeting me, so why not give the boy a chance.

                The Doctor started walking away and George followed.

Gretchen:

        What are we supposed to do while you’re gone?

DW:

        Well nothing really, just sit there till I get back.

Holly:

        Knowing your father and how you act so much like him, we will be sitting here for hours and eventually go hungry.

 

DW:

        Aren’t you forgetting I have a time machine?  By the time I go back, do my business and return, it will be as if George and I just walked into the room over here, and walked back out.  Now just be patient and don’t move!

                The Doctor and George walked into the next room.  DW walked into the booth.

George:

        It’s just like I imagined it!  Just like in my dreams!  I love it!

DW:

        Good. You love it; now let’s go before Ms. Dog lady gets impatient.

                George ran inside and turned around to face the doors. The Doctor raised her left hand and snapped her fingers.  The door closed shut and then they disappeared.

 

 

 

 

SCENE II

                George looked at the door with eagerness. 

DW:

        Well go on.

George:

        I can’t open it, only you can.

DW:

        Oh right, my mistake.

                She snapped her fingers and the TARDIS doors opened.

        Learned that from my dad.

                George looked at the Doctor and cautiously stepped out into the sunlight.

George:

        Where are we?

                The Doctor stuck her head out and looked around.

DW:

        Well, by the look of things, we are in the Seventeenth Century of London, but I don’t know for the life of me why.

                The Doctor jumped from the TARDIS and looked around.  They were in the middle of town square and people were looking at them.

George:

        Why are they-

 

DW:

        Looking at us?  Probably because of our clothes…or because we just arrived out of thin air in a big blue box.  Take your pick, but I think I’m going with the outfit theory.  We better go get a change of clothes.

George:

        Well let’s go look for a shop then.

DW:

        Ah but don’t worry, I have clothes in the TARDIS!  Here come-come.  Let’s see…you look like you could be about, ah yes! Here ya go!

                The Doctor handed him a black suit.

        As for myself, I think I’ll go with an Elizabethan outfit, minus the white powdery hair of course.

George:

        Oh, of course.

                Once they were in their new clothes they walked out of the TARDIS again.

DW:

        Ah! There’s where we need to go.

                The Doctor pointed to an old gothic looking house on a hill.

        Kinda reminds you of those old timey books about werewolves and vampires doesn’t it?  

                The Doctor and George walked to the house.  When they arrived the Doctor was about to knock on the door when it opened up itself.

        Ah, what good service they had back in these days.

                The two walked inside and were greeted by the butler.

Butler:

        Nice to see you Madame, and who is man?

DW:

        This is my friend Sir Frank.

Butler:

        Pleasure to meet you Sir Frank, Madame, your being expected in the library.

 DW:

        Hopefully I haven’t caused a delay of me being off schedule.

DW:

        Not at all Madame, the Sir and Lady don’t mind waiting for such an important guest.

                George and the Doctor walked towards the Library. 

George:

        Sir Frank?

 

 

DW:

        Its best they don’t know your real name, as I am Madame Heather.

                They both walk into the room.

Lady:

        Ah! Madame Heather, OH!  And this must be Sir Frank, the one you keep talking about.

Sir:

        How nice it is to finally meet you two.  This is our daughter, Megan.

Megan:

        Hello.  It is an honor to meet you Madame Heather.

DW:

        An honor?  Surely you must me mistaken.

Megan:

        Oh no malady, anyone who my parents talk to is an honor to see in person.  Your husband is a lucky man.

DW:

        Oh, but we’re not, no he’s my guard.

Megan:

        Terribly sorry malady.

 

Lady:

        That’s enough Megan, why don’t you just go upstairs and tend to your sowing. 

Sir:

        Now to get to business.

Butler:

        Your pie, sir?

                The butler is in the doorway holding a cherry pie.

Sir:

        Ah yes, the cherry pie!  My favorite of all deserts.  Usually the Maid makes the pies, but I always ask my wife to make me her famous pie.  Won’t you have some?

DW:

        No thank you sir, maybe once we are done talking.

Sir:

        I agree, pie at this time is just absurd anyway.  Send a slice to my ward and you can have a piece to Grieves.

Butler:

        Thank you sir.

DW:

        Now, about your money.

 

Sir:

        Ah yes.  In recent years, since about 1688, there has been a surplus in gold that I have received from mines and harvest.  I would like to make a testament for all my wealth.

DW:

        For who Sir?

Sir:

        Please, call me Mr. Warbening.

DW:

        Right, Mr. Warbening, so who is this testament for? 

Sir:

        My ward, Megan.

DW:
        All of it?

Sir:

        Every bit.

 George:

        Why don’t you want to give any to Madame Warbening if I may ask sir?

Sir:

        I feel that Mrs. Warbening and I are quite happy with the sustenance we have now, and besides, Megan needs it a lot more than we do.

Lady:

        Yes, our ward comes before us, even in sickness.

                The Doctor got a strange look on her face.

DW:

        Sickness?

Lady:

        Yes, about a year or so ago, Mr. Warbening was very ill. 

Sir:

        At that time I was only selfish about my needs, but when I regained my health, I found that our daughter needs to be first and for most before our needs, and that includes all our wealth, land and home.

DW:

        So, on your last testament you want everything to go to her?

Sir:

        Yes, I am certain she will know what to do with it and not be overwhelmed.

Maid:

        Excuse me sir, but, I believe I just heard a scream come from upstairs.

Lady:

        What?!

Sir:

        Go up there and check it out immediately.  Oh, I hope my Megan is ok.

George:

        It was probably just a spider or a bug, nothing to worry about.

                The maid came back down stairs crying.

Sir:

        What is it?  What’s wrong?!

Maid:

        Your daughter, she is dead.

                The butler came walking down the steps with Megan in his arms.  He had a dreadful look on her face.  She was limp like a rag doll.

Lady:

        MEGAN!

Sir:

        YOU! Butler!  You did this to her!

Butler:

        I did not sir!

 

Sir:

        You were the only one up there.

Butler:

        I would do no such thing my lord!

Lady:

        MEGAN!

Sir:

        Out before I kill you!

Butler:

        But sire-

Sir:

        Out before you are squished like a little bug!

                The butler left quickly upstairs to get his things.  Mrs. Warbening is holding Megan and the maid is crying.  The Doctor is looking at George who is trying not to throw up.

Sir:

        Why would the butler do such a thing? 

DW:

        If I may Mr. Warbening, I don’t think it was the butler.

Sir:

        Then who else would it be?

                Above them they hear a loud thump.

DW:

        Sir, if you don’t mind, I would like to go up and check on the butler, make sure he’s not stealing anything from you.

Sir:

        Go, do as you wish, but be careful for he may turn on you as he did us.

DW:

        Come on Sir Frank, you can protect me.

                They ran up the stairs and on the far end of the hall saw the right door slightly ajar.  They ran down there and opened it.  There they saw the butler, lying dead on the floor.  He had his luggage in one hand, and a fork in the other.

George:

        He killed himself!

DW:

        No George, he didn’t kill himself.  Here, help me lift him.

George:

        I’m not touching that!

DW:

        Why not?

 

George:

        Because! He’s dead!

DW:

        So?  Think of it as a big squishy mold of jello that looks like an old, balding man with white hair and that wears a tuxedo.  Easy as pie-

                The Doctor paused for a moment.

George:

        What is it Doctor?

DW:

        I know why these two are dead!  It’s so simple!  Right in front of me the whole time and I could smell it for miles.

                The two ran back down stairs to see everyone waiting for the news.

DW:

        He’s dead, the butler.

Sir:

        So he decided to kill himself because of what he did to our ward eh?  Serves him right.

DW:

        If I may, sir, but the butler did in fact, not kill anyone.  Let us move this conversation to the kitchen shall we?

                Everyone arrived in the kitchen.  Mr. and Mrs. Warbening were holding hands and the maid was leaning against the fridge.  George was standing opposite of the maid and the Doctor was pacing back and forth, her dress flowing as she did so.

        Today, we have two deaths in this house.  Both, I think, were not intended.

Sir:

        What do you mean?

                The Doctor stopped pacing and looked at him.

DW:

        What I mean, Sir Warbening, is that we have the murderer in this room right now.

                Everyone looked around.

DW:

        THE MAID!

Sir:

        I KNEW IT!

DW:

        Is innocent, but she could possibly be the next victim.  She was just working and doing the chores like a good little maid should.  She was under your daughters’ room when she heard the scream-Ms.?

Maid:

        Tally

DW:

        Ms. Tally, could you describe what the scream sounded like?

Maid:

        It was just an ordinary scream.

DW:

        Male or Female?

Sir:

        I don’t see what this has to-

DW:

        Mr. Warbening when Ms. Tally here said that she heard a scream, you automatically assumed it was your daughter, but was it?

Maid:

        Actually, it wasn’t, it was a male that screamed.

DW:

        So the butler is the one who screamed?

Maid:

        Yes.

DW:

        And when you went up there Ms. Tally, did you see any blood?

Maid:

        Well, no.  There was just pie.

DW:

        There. Was. Just. Pie.  Just like the butler except, he had a fork in his hand.

George:

        So it was the butler?

                The Doctor spun around.

DW:

        No.

Sir:

        So what you’re saying is that these killings are pie related?

DW:

        That is correct sir.  But not just any pie, this pie, was a cherry pie.  The EXACT same pie your wife made you.

George:

        So the wife DID do it!

Sir:

        How could you?!

Lady:

        It didn’t seem right that you were going to give everything to our daughter when I was the one who was by you when you were sick. I was the one who took care of you.

 

Sir:

        You didn’t have to kill her though.

Lady:

        I didn’t plan on it.  I didn’t worry because our daughter is allergic to cherries, she would never even go near it.

DW:

        Yes! You but you see, the molecular structure of the cortex in the cell of a mutant hybrid due to the poison she put in your pie corrupted it and made it change completely, turning it from a Cherry pie, into a cobbler pie.

Sir:

        She always loved cobbler.

DW:

        I believe my time is finished.  You can do with your wife as you please, but don’t eat her pies ever again.

                George and the Doctor started walking fast out of the house and she threw her dress away and she was in her trench again.

Sir:

        WHO ARE YOU MALADY!?

DW:

        OH YA KNOW, JUST A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION! SEE YA!

                George ran alongside the Doctor.  Nobody was chasing them, but they felt they had to run.

George:

        That was amazing back there Doctor!  I can tell you have your fathers genes in you.

DW:

        By genes, do you mean brain and or other matter?  If so, then yes, yes I do.

George:

        I’ll never understand how you doctors work, but it’s amazing how you do things.

                They arrived back at the TARDIS and she snapped her fingers.  They got inside and soon arrived back where they first met.

DW:

        See?! What did I tell you guys, back before you even know……it.  Whoops!

                The Doctor looked at the table and saw four skeletons sitting there with some bottles and a really old pack of cards set up like a game of go fish.

George:

        It looks like we went a little too far.  We can always go back can’t we?

DW:

        Oh…oh yeah we can.  Well at least I know they stayed.