My Attempt at Poetry

Hello (: I've always loved the flow of poetry. The way it can pull emotions out of you. I wish I could say I was so progeny and could write poetry like nobody's business, but alas, I cannot. Anywho, I say all that to say, here's something I wrote in January last year, 2011. Hope you enjoy!

Life

Enjoy life for what it is, embrace it as it comes

Wrap your arms round it's passion, take each day a gentle hum

Yet cast aside not life's oft troubles but face them unafraid

For know throughout life's beatings that hope shall lend you aid

Though when it seems that in this life, all pain will naught but last

Remember this, it cannot stay, and then this too shall pass

Constructive criticism? Thanks!

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Comment by Anna (Queen-of-the-Meliae) on April 22, 2012 at 2:24pm: Amiee, thank you so much! I tried to whip out my poetry book last night and write more but I'm completely out of creativity! It's like this poem got out all my bottled up feelings and now I have nothing to write about :P But thanks for the criticism!

Comment by Aimée (Queen of the Amazon) on April 22, 2012 at 12:06am: Okay, this is really good and the flow of it is great (:

Critique: So in this particular kind of poem (the kind that rhymes and has a rhythm) try to work with syllable count to maintain the rhythm from line to line. Also, you might want to do line breaks where you have commas in the middle. It's not necessary, it's just an aesthetic decision you'd have to make for yourself.

I loved the message of this poem. It's difficult to use rhyme well, but I feel like you definitely did so.