Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge – Y2K Compliant

Introducing the new Y2K compliant Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named – BOOK.   

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on.  It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it.  Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere – at the office, on the beach, even sitting in an armchair by the fire – yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc. 

Here’s how it works: BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information.  The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device known as a binder that keeps the sheets in the correct sequence. 

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows the manufacturer to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs.  Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density.  For now, three methods are in common use:

1. BOOKS with more information most frequently use more pages
2. A smaller print or font may be used to increase the data contained on individual pages
3. Some users prefer a larger page application to maximize font size and enhance reading ability

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain.  A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.  BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.  BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped repeatedly on a hard surface.  The “browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish.  Many come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session – even if the BOOK has been closed.  BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.  Conversely, numerous BOOKmarkers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store multiple views at once.  The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, known in the trade as Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).

Portable, durable and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave.  BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest.  Look for a flood of new titles soon.

EDITOR'S NOTE:

For all those too young to know what the term Y2K Compliant refers to:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_2000_problem   

So now you know how old this joke is!  ~ Gumbo