Home of Rhett & Link fans - the Mythical Beasts!
WARNING: THIS STORY HAS ADULT THEMES & IS RECOMMENDED FOR AGES 18 AND UP
Call me Ishmael, ahem, I mean Lucas. Well, mama told me that every time one falls in love - it's the first time. When you're in love, you take a leap of faith that is beyond logic and reason. Call it animal instinct or human instinct if you will. I've been in love twice thus far. Each time was different. The first was love at first sight but was not reciprocated, the second was the real thing but according to my ex - she wasn't able to reciprocate all the love I had for her. Will I be third time lucky or was my previous relationship the one? Well each one feels like the one.
The first time was like wildfire, one look into her eyes and I was hooked. On our first date, I hanged on her every word and couldn't stop looking. So hooked in fact, that I was able to hold it in for four days before confessing my feelings for her. Each day we spent together felt like magic. We just seemed to be so connected with plenty of chemistry and passion. And when the day came for our "first" time and it was my first, well you know, "first". Its true what they say, the "first" time is most awkward indeed. However, the first time I spent the night, I changed from simply lovey dovey to an equivalent of a sexual tyrannosaurus. I discovered a stamina for making love like you wouldn't believe and could go on for hours - wasting no time at all. When it is done right - well it can be the ultimate and most awesome expression of love. That is how it was with my ex but I'll get to that later.
Unfortunately, since the love was so ridiculously overpowering on my end - she had almost no chance to reach me. Well, maybe half-way to the "really liking" me stage and that was when the sex was just starting to get good. Although it took her a while to come around to the idea of not having the dog in the bedroom, which sure can be very distracting when you're trying to perform. In the end, it tore my heart apart when the relationship couldn't continue - especially since all this happened in a week of summer love. It wasn't meant to be. The breakup was as intense as falling in love but I felt a door open inside my heart to the wisdom and power of the universe - call it a spiritual awakening which involved visions of the future dancing through my head and much more - freedom to be me without fear.
After that experience, I spent a lot of time trying to find that love again. In fact, I was on my last legs of online dating when I had love number one. Anyway, I tried speed dating a few times and continued online dating just for a little while longer. Then, I gave up, well on quick fixes and hoped to meet someone the old fashioned way - in passing, without fuss, naturally, fate-like. It takes a long time to get over someone the first time, especially when you pine for something that you treasured so much - that ultimate feeling. Love has its own version of time, a day can seem like forever - trust me. A good distraction or way of dealing with loss, and it is a loss like death - death of a relationship, is work. As a multimedia consultant aka filmmaker, working on productions for clients and self in a creative fashion is a good way to channel that energy once reserved for something or someone else. I know that feeling again after breaking up with my second love, which I'll talk about now.
The one thing about work, is that you can find love there too. The first time we met, I barely caught a glimpse of her but it wasn't until a photoshoot that I noticed the presence of a total babe - something that was missing from previous relationship(s) was a genuine physical attraction. After a decade of low self-esteem and gradually building my confidence with talking to women and improving my body (now more than ever, 6 pack here I come). I still struggled a bit to ask her out but after trying twice before in the same workplace with others, I got a yes - even with my head down. Still I called her back and confirmed the date - if I didn't, nothing would've happened.
We saw a movie together and I had a misfire of a kiss but the second date was explosive - not that kind of explosive. After another date and getting to know each other more, I had my dream date with her and it took me a week after that to realise that I had fallen for her. However, I learnt my lesson from the last relationship - have some control. I kept it in for 3 months and on the first breakup or break, I confessed my love for her. I waited for a week later to contact her again and with the power of inception, it looks like feelings came to the surface and she realised what she had lost and had opportunity to gain. She had her own issues and I understood completely.
We were excellent communicators and good friends which made the relationship strong but money does play its part. I took a leap of faith and confessed my financial situation after being in denial about it for sometime. Unfortunately, I think it sucked out all the romance of what was something amazing and special. She maintained that it was her inability to reciprocate the amount of love that I had for her but sometimes we are afraid to face the ugly truth. I know or believe that she loved me whether it was when we made love, the way she looked into my eyes, the way we danced and more. The love was mutual but if only she knew that it was like that. I was more open than she was but as long as I knew how she felt - it was perfect. If only she knew for herself.
So, what else can I say about love. Here are some tips:
Will I be third time lucky? I think so. Thanks for reading!!! :)