Kalla Wallace's Blog (6)

My heart is exploded into a million little pieces, each with serrated edges stabbing my soul. The pain is unbearable, but greatly cherished, since I am in the least feeling something. My love is greater than anything I know, and impossibly it is growing, more and more, straining me to my breaking point, and pushing me past all odds. But he doesn’t love me. As long as I am allowed the amazing privilege to love him, I am ok. I don’t care if he rejects me. I don’t care if he hates me. I will…

Shattered glass, or is it mirrors, reflect back up at me

Reminding me of how things used to be,

Back when we were free.

Do you remember how the sunlight

Shone down on you and me?

Or the promises that we did never keep?

Why does the rain not come?

Why doesn't the sun shine?

Because everything is not right

When you're not by my side.

How can we go back, rewind the time? 

I still wish that you were only…

Listen to the words of a piano. The chilling chords tell a story; the haunting melody paints a picture. The piano was appropriately named. To me, a piano represents pain. It's where I go when I am overcome with stress, emotions, and primarily pain. If you take away the o in piano, and switch the a and the i, it spells pain. The pain of heartbreak, death and life. 

I gave up on my dreams. Well, frankly they shattered right before me. It feels as if my all has been ripped away from me, leaving only me and my worthless thoughts. I want to live each day as an adventure, but that is impossible. I will make new dreams, but they also will be shattered in their own turn. I will continue to go on, but eventually I will become weak. I will make something of myself, if I can. I'm not sure what tomorrow may bring, but I will accept it with a happy heart, because…

Why do we as human beings feel the desire to protect things? Or, better yet, what makes something worth protecting? We guard and protect things that are near and dear to us, such as a favorite shirt, pair of shoes, or really any item. But what about intangible things like our hearts? Are we that afraid of falling in love, or someone falling in love with us? Why do we hold on to the one thing that if we just let go of, would bring us the greatest happiness and joy. We guard, protect, and hold…

Do you know what it is like to give someone you entire heart and not expect anything but love in return, and not get it. I fell in love;I am in love. He cannot see my tears, he cannot see the pain I face without him. He seems as if he doesn't care, and leaves me alone to endure the world by myself without hand to hold, or a heart to love. Do not trust the heart, do not trust yourself. Trust in what is true, truth.