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What I'm Working On (a place to post your writing!)
I can't believe no one has started this discussion! =) Well anyway, now it's here. So feel free to post a poem, short story, or whatever you want. I'm sure we'll all be happy to provide constructive criticism. ^-^
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Amaryllis (The Flying Unicorn) on
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Here is a story I wrote a long time ago. =)
A chunky white arm reached for the next shelf just as Alana’s four year old legs pushed off of the one below. Her conquest was finally here after a long and grueling morning of planning. Luring and enticing, Alana’s prize sat on the very top shelf of the pantry.
Earlier that day, her mother had arrived from the store with a special treat – cookies. It could be nothing else, for the young girl’s mother had emptied the box of goodies into a jar and placed it in the very spot that Alana was now trying to reach; a place designated for the good stuff not allowed to be eaten until after dinner.
So, quietly and with great patience unheard of in the four-year-old community, Alana waited and planned for the perfect moment to brave the long and treacherous journey to the top shelf. It was about noon, the time of day in which her mother was engrossed in a sappy soap opera, her father was at work, and Alana herself was supposed to be napping. Even Sparky, their Yorkshire terrier, kept to himself in the middle of the day.
“Come on, Ted. We’re almost there.” The fearless child held her teddy bear closer to her body as she mounted the next shelf, hoping to soothe his fear of falling into the great abyss that separated them from the safety of the ground.
Despite her mother’s warning about not touching the precious morsels, Alana felt compelled to do so. After all, Ted hadn’t had a proper tea party in quite some time.
Suddenly, curious barks came from outside of the closed door.
“Sparky!” Alana whispered, fear of getting caught igniting within her. “Shoo!” She made a swinging motion with her head as if the dog could see her.
“Sparky?” her mother called from the living room. The risky expedition hung in the balance. At the sound of approaching footsteps, Alana’s tiny heart thumped at the quickest speed it could muster. There she sat on a shelf, Ted in hand, frozen with fear.
“Sparky, shh!” Sharon was now just outside of the door, inches away. “I know you’re not feeling well, boy, but you can’t wake Alana.”
As her mother walked away with Sparky trailing behind, the girl’s heart relaxed.
Once again, she stretched out an arm, grabbing hold of the shelf above. When she lifted her leg too hastily, it bumped into a sharp edge. Instinctively, Alana let go of Ted to rub the battle wound, and he tumbled to the ground. When she realized what had happened, devastation filled her.
“Ted!” she whispered fiercely to her lost friend. Receiving silence for her efforts, Alana pushed aside her tears and continued onward. She had to get the cookies now – she must honor Ted’s loyalty.
A few shelves and many grunts later, the top shelf was reached. Just before Alana reached for the jar with the much anticipated cookies inside, her mother’s warning caused her to hesitate.
Should she eat the cookies at a tea party with Ted, disobeying her mother? Or should she not touch them, leaving Ted disappointed and lying on the cold floor for nothing? Her mouth watering, Alana made a decision.
She reached to grasp the jar with both hands as she leaned on the shelf with her elbows. Unfortunately, the jar was slippery and Alana couldn’t get a proper hold of it. Out of her hands it fell and all she could do was hold her breath. When she didn’t hear a crash, she glanced down and saw that it had landed on Ted without a scratch.
A triumphant smile on her lips, Alana climbed back down and hurried to her room with Ted and the cookies. She celebrated the victory with a tea party. Afterward, she was careful to hide the evidence, sure that she would never be caught.
Later that evening, when the family was eating at the dinner table, her mother exclaimed, “Charles, I just can’t seem to find those dog laxatives that the vet prescribed. I just bought them this morning!”
“Where did you put them, dear?”
“I could’ve sworn I put them in a jar at the top of the pantry.”
Alana’s stomach rumbled. -
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Permalink Reply by Arthur Turbyfill (Wyvern) on
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HA HA....that was funny! I liked it.
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Thanks! =P
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Permalink Reply by Margaret E.Smith(Wood Sprite) on
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Amaryllis, What a great idea you have come up with. I read your story and loved it.
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Thank you!!!
Margaret E.Smith(Artomatchick) said:Amaryllis, What a great idea you have come up with. I read your story and loved it. -
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Amaryllis, the children's book that I have been working on was once looked over for publication, and was accepted. But, the press that accepted it was a vanity press so I would of had to pay for it myself. I was only 12 at the time, so it never got published. That was about 20 years ago. So, I am posting it here for everybody to read .I will post a few chapters here every few days, there are 17 small chapters. So, here goes. The name of the book is called Magical Time Travels( Chapter 1) Once upon a time in the year 2040 a.d. There lived two little sisters named Venus and Saturn. One day the two girls were quietly playing with some dolls. When all of a sudden Venus said yawning slightly "I'm kind of bored,aren't you?" "Yes, come to think of it, I am," retorted Saturn with a hint of boredom in her voice. "What else is there that you think we could do?" "Well," replied Venus with a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous grin on her face. "How about going down to the big machine room where all the machines of connivence are kept,then we could go find the old vintage time travel machine and take it back to the year 1930, when our late great Uncle Snapdragon he magician was alive. Then he could give us a magic spell to make inanimate objects come alive. "Well", replied Saturn with a bit of hesitance in her voice. That all sounds like a good plan and all, but how would we know how to run the time machine once we find it?" (Chapter 2) "Easy sister dear," retorted Venus with a sound of reassurance in her voice. "You know how organized mother is." "Yes, I do," snapped Saturn quickly. "But, what does that have to do with anything?" "Well, you know her motto, a place for everything,and everything in its place." replied Venus quickly. "Yes, I do," said Saturn. "Well," replied Venus smiling "She keeps all the instruction manuals to everything in the house, in this big drawer over here in the kitchen,next to the refrigerator.""Why do you think that the instruction manual to the time machine would still be here?" questioned Saturn intently. "Well, we can look can't we?" said Venus. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained". Well those are the first two chapters, I will try to post another couple chapters either tommorow or in a few days. Till then take care all my fellow writers. I will be looking forward to reading some of your writings as well.
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Oh that's cute! I really hope you get it published some day! Looking forward to the next chapters. =)
Margaret E.Smith(Artomatchick) said:Amaryllis, the children's book that I have been working on was once looked over for publication, and was accepted. But, the press that accepted it was a vanity press so I would of had to pay for it myself. I was only 12 at the time, so it never got published. That was about 20 years ago. So, I am posting it here for everybody to read .I will post a few chapters here every few days, there are 17 small chapters. So, here goes. The name of the book is called Magical Time Travels( Chapter 1) Once upon a time in the year 2040 a.d. There lived two little sisters named Venus and Saturn. One day the two girls were quietly playing with some dolls. When all of a sudden Venus said yawning slightly "I'm kind of bored,aren't you?" "Yes, come to think of it, I am," retorted Saturn with a hint of boredom in her voice. "What else is there that you think we could do?" "Well," replied Venus with a twinkle in her eye and a mischievous grin on her face. "How about going down to the big machine room where all the machines of connivence are kept,then we could go find the old vintage time travel machine and take it back to the year 1930, when our late great Uncle Snapdragon he magician was alive. Then he could give us a magic spell to make inanimate objects come alive. "Well", replied Saturn with a bit of hesitance in her voice. That all sounds like a good plan and all, but how would we know how to run the time machine once we find it?" (Chapter 2) "Easy sister dear," retorted Venus with a sound of reassurance in her voice. "You know how organized mother is." "Yes, I do," snapped Saturn quickly. "But, what does that have to do with anything?" "Well, you know her motto, a place for everything,and everything in its place." replied Venus quickly. "Yes, I do," said Saturn. "Well," replied Venus smiling "She keeps all the instruction manuals to everything in the house, in this big drawer over here in the kitchen,next to the refrigerator.""Why do you think that the instruction manual to the time machine would still be here?" questioned Saturn intently. "Well, we can look can't we?" said Venus. "Nothing ventured, nothing gained". Well those are the first two chapters, I will try to post another couple chapters either tommorow or in a few days. Till then take care all my fellow writers. I will be looking forward to reading some of your writings as well. -
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Amarylis, here are a few more chapters like I said: ( chapter 3) "Your right about that,sister dear," snapped Saturn. "Lets, do it,"So both girls ventured into the kitchen and opened the big white drawer containing all the instruction manuals with abundant enthusiasm. There lo and behold under the instruction manual for the electric can opener circa 2005, was located the manual for the Time machine 2000 edition."Here it is!!" exclaimed Venus with enthusiasm in her voice. "Lets, read it, and find out how it works." "Yes, lets," Saturn chimed in quickly. So, both girls set down and eagerly started reading the instruction manual from cover to cover. When they were both satisfied that they were knowledgeable enough about the time machine. They took off to the machine to familiarize themselves with the machine itself. (Chapter 4) After about 10 minutes of studying the machine, locating the "ON &"OFF" switch, manual shutoff etc. Both girls were confident enough to feel like they could time travel with ease. So, they both entered the time travel transportation chamber, closed the door, and turned the big yellow dial with all the years from 1925-3000 listed on it. They set the dial to the year 1930 and then Venus was ready to push the big red "ON" button. When, all of a sudden Saturn screamed "We can't go yet, aren't we forgetting something?" "Like what" replied Venus "Like, how are we going to find the Time Machine if we get lost back in the year 1930?" questioned Saturn with worry in her voice. "Oh, I've got that covered," Venus replied calmly. "I've got a remote control Time Machine locator in my front shirt pocket, thats how." "Well," thats all fine and lovely, replied Saturn. "But, how do you know that the batteries still work after all these years?"(CHAPTER 5) "Oh, thats easy," replied Venus "I just put new fresh batteries in the emote a few minutes ago, thats how!!" "Well, that makes me feel a whole lot better then," replied Saturn "Let's go!!" So Venus pushed the big "RED" on button, lights flashed, buzzers buzzed and a bell rang. Then lo and behold the door opened automatically and both girls gazed out the door and to the yesteryear of 1930. "Wow!!" exclaimed Saturn "We're really back in the year of 1930!!" "Yes, we are sister dear,Venus replied "Isn't it something!!" "Yes, it is," replied Saturn smiling "Its like a living history lesson." "Oh, no!!" exclaimed Saturn with a with a worried look on her face again. "What is it ,this time?" questioned Venus with a hint of annoyance in her voice. "How do we know where Uncle Snapdragon lives?" questioned Saturn eagerly. "Thats easy," snapped Venus . "Before, we left the house I checked mothers old rolodex of relatives addresses from the past and present thats how." "Oh," replied Saturn " I feel better then, but where does he live?" I will write a few more chapters tomorrow. Thank you for your feedback and I am glad that you like my story so far.
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Here are a few more chapters of my book.(Chapter 6) "He lives on 123 Wizards Wand Lane located in the Magicians Hat Valley," replied Venus quickly."Now lets find someone to get directions from." A young girl about Venus and Saturns age was walking toward them. So, Venus turned to her sister and said "We can ask her, she will probably know." "Excuse me," Venus said slightly clearing he throat "Could you give us directions on how to get to the Magicians Hat Valley?" "Yes, I can," replied the young girl smiling. "You are already in the Magicians Hat Valley." "Greta!!" exclaimed both girls smiling. "We want to locate 123 Wizards Wand Lane where the Great Magician SnapdragoN lives." "Oh, thats easy to get to, its just 3 blocks away from here." "You go straight ahead past Abracardabra Blvd..., Magicians Cape Rd, then Wizards Wand Lane should be the next street on the right." "Then the Great Magician Snapdragons house is about 1/2 mile down the lane,you can't miss it, its the only house on the lane with a giant Magicians Hat on the front lawn." "Oh,by the way my name is Tiffany, said the young girl smiling. "Well, Thank you for the directions Tiffany, our names are Venus and Saturn,"replied the girls in unison.(chapter 7) With that both girls set off down the road in search of 123 Wizards Wand Lane and their late Great Uncle Snapdragon. After a brisk 10 minute walk both girls found themselves standing on their Uncle Snapdragons doorstep. "Now that we're here, what type of inanimate objects did you want to bring to life?" questioned Saturn intensely. "How about making little people out of dough, so we would always have friends to play with thats what!! exclaimed Venus smiling happily. "Splendid idea," quipped Saturn quickly. "Now who is going to ring the d-d-doorbell," stammered Saturn with a bit of hesitance in her voice. "Oh, for gosh sakes," snapped Venus. "I will, after all I thought up this little adventure in the first place."By, the way, where is the doorbell located anyway?" questioned Saturn her eyes wide with wonderment. "I don't see anything that even slightly resembles a doorbell at all out front here."Well" pondered Venus"Its got to be located out here somewhere." I will add Chapters 8 &9 tomorrow. I hope anybody who is reading my children's book is enjoying it. Take care and keep on writing!!
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Here are a couple more chapters of my book for today. (chapter 8) As, both girls were eagerly looking around for what could possibly be a doorbell. The big wooden front door on their Uncle Snapdragons house opened. Uncle Snapdragon looked out and said "Welcome, Venus and Saturn, I've have been expecting you." "How could you?" questioned Venus "We're from the future." "Yes, I know," smiled Uncle Snapdragon. ""Well, I have a crystal ball and I look into the future thats how,' replied Uncle Snapdragon. "I even know the day that both you girls were born and I know that you are my nieces." "I just love getting visits from my relatives, either from this time or from the future." "Also, I know that you wanted to get a magic chant to make inanimate objects come alive as well." "You do!!" exclaimed both girls at once. "Yes, come on in and I'll take you to my library of magic," replied Uncle Snapdragon smiling. "The Library of Magic," chimed both girls enthusiastically. "Yes, my Library of Magic where I keep all my books on Magic spells, chants, etc." Uncle Snapdragon let both girls in his house and led them down a long hallway filled with all sorts of unique treasures from a pet parrot in a gilded cage to a pet rabbit with a hat on its head. (chapter 9) Finally, after what seemed an eternity they stopped at the Library of Magic. Uncle Snapdragon opened a big wooden door to an enormous room filled wall to wall with rows and rows of magic books. "How in the world are we going to find a book on chants that make inanimate objects come alive in this place?" questioned Venus intently. "Why thats easy, replied Uncle Snapdragon smiling"all we have to do is go to aisle C and then look under I for inanimate objects." Uncle Snapdragon quickly guided venus and Saturn to aisle C then they looked under I for and quickly came to a book on inanimate objects. "Here it is a chant for making inanimate objects come alive," said Uncle Snapdragon "Will it work on all inanimate objects?" questioned Venus "Yes, it will," replied Uncle Snapdraogn quickly. "What do you girls plan on bringing to life anyway?" "Why, we plan to make people out of dough so we will have some friends to play with," replied Saturn with a beaming smile on her face. "Oh, I see," said Uncle Snapdragon smiling. "How creative to make some friends to lay with." Uncle Snapdragon quickly jotted down the chant for the girls, which went like this "IPPITY, DIPPITY, BIPPITY, POW, Please make these inanimate objects come alive now." "Then whatever you want to make come to life will do so." Tomorrow Chapters 10 & 11 are next.
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I didn't have enough time to set down today to write chapters (10 & 11). So, I will try to write them down tomorrow!!
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(Chapter 10) "Great!!" both girls chimed in unison. "We can hardly wait to try it out, when we bet back home!!" "Do you want to take a tour of my house and then have tea and crumpets with me,?" questioned Uncle Snapdragon. "Yes, we would love it," replied both girls quickly. So, Uncle Snapdragon gave the girls a leisurely tour around his spacious mansion and then they all set down in the parlor for a spot of tea and crumpets. After a 30 minute teatime. Uncle Snapdragon and the girls said their goodbyes and left. After a brisk 10 minute walk the girls arrived back at the time machine, opened the door and set the big 'YELLOW" time machine dial to the year 2040. Then Venus pressed the big "RED" on button. Lights blinked, buzzers buzzed and a bell rang. Then lo and behold the girls were back in their own time and machine room. "Oh, boy I can hardly wait to try this chant out!! exclaimed Venus enthusiastically. "Ditto, for me as well," quipped Saturn. With that both girls set off to the kitchen to get all the necessary ingredients to make some dough as well as any kitchen utensils they needed. I have been so busy working lately, that (Chapter 11) tomorrow.
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