Dyslexics UNTIE!

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K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on March 31, 2014 at 1:23am

Anybody read the news accounts of the diminutive psychic conman who escaped from jail?  Newpaper headlines read:

SMALL  MEDIUM  AT  LARGE

K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on March 31, 2014 at 1:17am

In democracy it's your vote that counts.

In feudalism it's your count that votes.

K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on March 31, 2014 at 1:07am

TIME TO REVIVE THIS GROUP ! ! !

Did you hear about the guy who sent out a blast e-mail to various friends and acquantances containing ten (10) of his very best puns, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

Alas, no pun in ten did.

Comment by INVALID [The Dreidel] on May 13, 2011 at 7:17pm

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on May 10, 2011 at 7:27pm

At an outdoor Beethoven concert, a sudden windstorm interrupted the last movement of the great composer’s final symphony.

The conductor called an intermission so he could lash down the flying sheet music with twine.

During the break, the heavy-string players ran over to a nearby pub for a few quick ones, and overdid their imbibing.

So when the wind died down, the luckless maestro found himself in the bottom of the Ninth with the score tied and the basses loaded.

K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on November 5, 2010 at 2:12pm

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Hurt like the dickens, but he's all right now.

K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on August 5, 2010 at 5:07pm

Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California . This, of course, is the origin of the expression...

"He who has a Tate's is lost!"

K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on June 14, 2010 at 12:00pm

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."

K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on April 7, 2010 at 1:40pm

Keeping it alive . . .

King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates , the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.

Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it".

“But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"

Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."

K-Mod Comment by Gumbo123 on March 4, 2010 at 4:19pm

Nice one, Tyler! Here's another of my all-time favorites:

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls.

One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake the lions, he gingerly stepped over them.

Immediately, he was arrested and charged with...transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

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