Home of Rhett & Link fans - the Mythical Beasts!
Just for grins and giggles . . .
NOTE: no need to show every one of the variations, although I do exactly that in the first example post below.
To save space, please post only the language thread and the final lyrics result.
Languages available on BING:
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FACEBOOK SONG
I wouldn't call myself a social butterfly
And there's not much that separates me from the other guy
But when I login I begin to live . . .
There's an online world where I am king
of a little website dedicated to me
with pictures of me and a list of my friends
and an unofficial record of the groups that I'm in.
Before the internet friendship was so tough
you actually had to be in people’s presence and stuff.
Who would’ve thought that with a point and a click
I could know that Hope Floats is your favorite flick? (Harry Connick Jr!?)
Facebook (Facebook)
I'm Hooked on Facebook.
I used to meet girls hangin out at the mall;
now I just wait for them to write on my wall.
It’s more than a want, it's more than a need;
I'd shrivel up and die without my minifeed.
Take a look. You’re Hooked on Facebook.
Oh Link's status changed. It says he's playing the recorder...
How do you know this person?
Did you hook up with this person?
Do you need to request confirmation?
Or did you just think they looked cute...
from their picture on Facebook?
If the internet crashed all across the land
or my Facebook account was deleted by the man
I'd carry around a picture of my face
and a summary of me typed out on a page.
ENGLISH TO SPANISH > > >
¿No llamarme una mariposa social
Y no hay mucho que me separa de los otro guy
Pero cuando me empiezo a vivir el inicio de sesión...
Hay un mundo online donde yo soy Rey
de poco sitio dedicado a mí
con fotos de mí y una lista de mis amigos
y un registro no oficial de los grupos que estoy.
Antes de que la amistad de internet fue tan dura
realmente tenía que estar en presencia de la gente y esas cosas.
¿Quién habría pensado con un punto y un clic
¿Pude conocer de que flota de esperanza es su gesto favorito? (Harry Connick Jr!?)
Facebook (Facebook)
Estoy enganchado de Facebook.
Yo solía conocer a chicas hangin out en el centro comercial;
ahora sólo espero que escribir en mi pared.
Es más que una miseria, es más que una necesidad;
Quiero crispar y morir sin mi minifeed.
Eche un vistazo. Están comprometidos en Facebook.
Oh cambiar estado del vínculo. Dice que está jugando la grabadora...
¿Cómo sé esta persona?
¿Conectar con esta persona?
¿Necesita solicitar confirmación?
O ocurrió sólo buscaron lindos...
¿de su imagen en Facebook?
Si internet se estrelló en toda la tierra
o mi cuenta de Facebook fue eliminado por el hombre
Llevo alrededor de una imagen de mi cara
y un resumen de mi escrito fuera en una página.
SPANISH TO FRENCH> > >
N'appelez pas moi un papillon social ?
Et il n'y a pas beaucoup qui me sépare de l'autre guy
Mais quand commencer à vivre d'ouverture de session...
Il y a un monde en ligne, où je suis roi
petit site dédié à me
photos de moi avec une liste de mes amis
et un enregistrement officieux des groupes que je suis.
Avant l'amitié internet était tellement dur
J'ai eu vraiment d'être en présence de personnes et d'autres choses.
Qui aurait pensé avec un point et un clic ?
Je sais que flotte espoir est son geste préféré ? (Harry Connick Jr!)
Facebook (Facebook)
Je suis accro sur Facebook.
J'ai utilisé pour connaître les filles hangin au centre commercial ;
maintenant j'espère juste qu'écrit sur mon mur.
C'est plus qu'une bouchée, est plus qu'une nécessité ;
Je veux secousses et meurent sans mon minifeed.
Jetez un coup d'oeil. Ils sont commis sur Facebook.
Changement de l'état de la liaison O. Il dit qu'il joue l'enregistreur...
Comment puis-je savoir cette personne ?
Pouvez vous connecter avec cette personne ?
Avez-vous besoin de demander confirmation ?
Ou s'est produite seulement regardé mignons...
de votre image sur Facebook ?
Si l'internet s'est écrasé dans toutes les terres
ou mon compte Facebook a été anéanti par l'homme
J'ai été autour d'une image de mon visage.
et un résumé de mes écrits sur une page.
FRENCH TO GERMAN > > >
Rufen mich ein sozialer Schmetterling Sie nicht?
Und es gibt nicht viel, die mich von der andere Typ trennt
Aber wann live Anmeldung beginnen...
Es ist eine online-Welt, wo ich König bin
kleine gewidmete mich
Fotos von mir mit einer Liste von meinen Freunden
und ein informeller Datensatz der Gruppen, die ich bin.
Vor dem Internet war Freundschaft so schwer
Ich hatte wirklich in Anwesenheit von Menschen und andere Dinge.
Wer mit einem Punkt und einem Klick hätte?
Weiß ich, dass die Flotte Hoffnung seine Lieblings-Geste ist? (Harry Connick Jr.!)
Facebook (Facebook)
Ich bin süchtig auf Facebook.
Früher habe ich in der Mall Hangin ' Mädchen wissen.
Jetzt hoffe ich genau das schrieb an meiner Wand.
Es ist mehr als eine verschlossene, ist mehr als eine Notwendigkeit;
Ich möchte schütteln und sterben, ohne meine Minifeed.
Werfen Sie einen Blick. Sie sind verpflichtet, auf Facebook.
O Änderung. Er sagte, dass er den Recorder spielt...
Wie kann ich diese Person wissen?
Können Sie mit dieser Person verbinden?
Brauchen Sie um Bestätigung zu bitten?
Oder nur überwachten Cuties...
dein Bild auf Facebook?
Wenn das Internet in allen Ländern abgestürzt
oder mein Konto Facebook hat durch den Menschen ruiniert wurden
Ich war, um ein Bild von meinem Gesicht.
und eine Zusammenfassung meiner Schriften auf einer Seite.
GERMAN TO SWEDISH > > >
Inte ringer mig en fjäril som sociala?
Och det finns inte mycket som skiljer mig från den andra killen
Men när levande registrering börjar...
Det är en online värld där jag är kung
små dedikerad mig
Foton på mig med en lista över mina vänner
och en informell post grupper jag.
Före Internet var vänskap så hårt
Jag hade verkligen i närvaro av människor och andra saker.
Som skulle ha en punkt och ett klick?
Jag vet att flottan hopp är hans favorit gest? (Harry Connick Jr.!)
Facebook (Facebook)
Jag är beroende på Facebook.
I används Hangin vid köpcentret "tjejer vet.
Nu hoppas jag som skrev på min vägg.
Det är mer än en låst, är mer än en nödvändighet;
Jag skulle vilja skaka och dö utan min Minifeed.
Ta en titt. De är skyldiga, på Facebook.
O förändring. Han sade att han spelar inspelaren...
Hur vet jag denna person?
Kan du ansluta med den personen?
Behöver du be om bekräftelse?
Eller bara övervakade cuties...
bilden på Facebook?
Om Internet i alla länder kraschade
eller min Facebook-konto har förstörts av folket
Det var en bild av mitt ansikte.
och en sammanfattning av min typsnitt på en sida.
SWEDISH TO ENGLISH > > >
Don't call me a social butterfly?
And there is not much that separates me from the other guy
But when live registration begins ...
It is an online world where I am King
small dedicated me
Photos of me with a list of my friends
and an informal record groups I.
Before the Internet was friendship so hard
I was actually in the presence of humans and other things.
That would have a point and a click?
I know that the Navy hopes is his favorite gesture? (Harry Connick Jr.!)
Facebook (Facebook)
I'm addicted on Facebook.
I used Hangin at the Mall "girls know.
I now hope that wrote on my wall.
It is more than one locked, is more than a necessity;
I would like to shake and die without my Minifeed.
Take a look. They are obliged, on Facebook.
O change. He said that he plays the recorder ...
How do I know this person?
You can connect with that person?
Do you need to ask for confirmation?
Or just monitored Cutie ...
the image on Facebook?
If the Internet crashed, in all countries
or my Facebook account has been destroyed by the people
It was a picture of my face.
and a summary of my fonts on a page.
BREAK UP SONG
It’s not you; it’s me.
And me don’t like you.
It’s not you; it’s I.
And I’m breaking up with you.
You swore up and down the wall
Twilight’s the best trilogy of all
Somehow you got me to agree
To dress up like Edward for Halloween.
But now that I’m coming clean
First off, Twilight’s a quadrilogy.
And that tan werewolf dude isn’t worthy.
Of removing – a Wookie’s Dingleberries.
It’s not me; it’s you.
Yeah, the more I think about it- it’s definitely you.
But it might be me
Cause me decided to date you.
When we went out on our first date
You said you don’t eat anything with a face.
Then for the next 18 months
I ate sausage made from rice and walnuts.
Now that we’re parting ways
Newflash! Fish have a face.
Unless it’s in a Newton, No! He doesn’t want another fig!
Tonight I’m eating…a Rabbi-veni-turducken-ig.
It’s you; It’s you.
No doubt about it- it was always totally you.
Now it’s up to me
And me is now dumping you
English>>Chinese>>Albanian>>French>>English
It's not you, it is.
And I do not like you.
This is not one of your
I broke up with you.
You swear up and down the wall
Twilight of the best trilogy of all
However, I agree with you
Wear on Halloween as Edward.
But now I'm clean
First tetralogy, Twilight.
In addition, Tan wolf guy is not valid.
Eliminate - the Dingleberries a Wookie.
It is not, is you.
Yeah, the more I think, it is certainly you.
But it is also possible
So I decided to date.
Where to go from our first date
You say you do not eat any part of belt.
Then in the next 18 months
I ate rice and nuts made sausage.
Now, we divide
Newflash! The fish has a face.
Unless it is in Newton, no! He does not want the card!
I eat tonight ... a rabbi Veni-IG-Turducken.
Do you, yes you.
No doubt, it is always completely you.
Now, I
And now I'm dumping.
Space junk:
Original:
Weve got the greatest job on earth
and were not even on earth
were orbiting the world, you see
collecting space debris
expended rockets, expired satellites
circling the globe, endangering space flight.
were the guys cleaning up the mess
putting astronauts familys fears to rest.
you wouldnt believe the premium on my life insurance policy
even a paint chip would take off my arm travelling at orbital velocity
Collectin space junk, space waste, space stuff
We make it safe for shuttles to fly
Were trash men, weightless trash men!
Cleaning up the crap you left behind
We got hit by Soviet trash last year
from the cosmonauts on MIR
- but our worst memory was when we
were sprayed by frozen pee
Heres some old bag of toiletries
whats in it? sunscreen and hydrocortisone cream
and the ashes of gene roddenberry
Ah! Tom Hanks script from Apollo 13!
you wouldnt believe the premium on my life insurance policy
even a toenail would cut off my head travelling at orbital velocity
Collectin space junk, space waste, space stuff
Living the cosmic custodian life.
Were trash men, weightless trash men!
scouring space...while trying not to die!
OK. From English to Czech to Russian to Greek to Chinese (Traditional) to Chinese (Simplified) to Italian to English.
We have the best job in the world It is not even in the world Is in orbit around the world, you will see Space gallery Satellite, the missile runs out, complete Around the world, threats to space flight. This is the kids clean up the mess Astronauts focus marketing preferences.
This is not to believe my life insurance policy premium Also from my hands to reach orbital speed
Series of ancient books extra space, space, space We can make sure ship flying People of trash line zero! Cleaning things because you left
We waste last year suffered from the Soviet Union The astronauts of the space station Mir But the worst of times is our memory Urine is frozen peeled Here are some old cosmetic bag What is it? Sunscreen and hydrocortisone in hydrocortisone cream With the ashes, King A-HA! Tom · Hanks script Apollo 13!
This is not to believe my life insurance policy premium Even if nailed my orbital velocity would be cutting head-travel
Series of ancient books extra space, space, space Guardian living space. People of trash line zero! Polishing of the universe ... Trying to die!
(And yes, I relized after I did all of the translating, that It says Weve, but... I didn't wan't to do it ALL over again.)
English (original)
Iʼll start with a taco, soft like a cloud
I want mine crunchy, I like to eat loud.
Iʼll choose a chalupa, Iʼll grab a gordita,
and two taco salads for our senoritas.
And a Burrito Supreme, with extra sour cream
Itʼs a cylindrically shaped seasoned beef dream.
A taquito. An enchirito. Some cinnamon twists.
A chicken border bowl. Are you gettinʼ all this?
And you know that nothing beats a
hmmm, mmmm...Mexican Pizza...
Weʼll take two of those, but please hold the diced tomatoes.
And I admit, Iʼve always felt,
like Iʼm in love with the meximelt.
Make mine with a little extra love, and think of me...
as the cheese drops from your Taco Bell glove.
and thatʼs it.
No! Iʼm not done...Iʼll also take a...
Double-decker taco cause Iʼm feeling wild
And make my sauce Fire. Uh, heʼll take mild.
and weʼll take two Mt. Dew Baja blasts
for a chance at 25 dollars cash
Iʼm told thereʼs a winner for every 5 minutes
Iʼm stealing your online code if you win it.
Why would you do that? You owe me 25 bones
I owe you 5. Plus interest--it was a loan.
And I think weʼll be satisfied, if we get some mexican rice on the side.
And thatʼs it
English to French
Iʼll commencer avec un taco, doux comme un nuage.
Je veux mine croquante, j'aime manger à haute voix.
Iʼll choisir une chalupa, Iʼll saisir un gordita,
et deux taco salades pour notre senoritas.
Et un Burrito suprême, avec supplémentaire de crème sure
Itʼs un rêve de forme cylindrique de boeuf chevronnés.
Un taquito. Un enchirito. Quelques péripéties cannelle.
Un bol de frontière de poulet. Vous êtes gettinʼ tout cela ?
Et vous savez que rien ne vaut un
Hmmm, mmmm...Pizza mexicaine...
Weʼll prendre deux de ceux, mais veuillez tenir les tomates en dés.
Et j'avoue Iʼve toujours senti,
comme Iʼm en amour avec le meximelt.
Faire mine avec un peu d'amour supplémentaire et penser à moi...
comme le fromage gouttes de votre gant de Taco Bell.
et c'est elle.
Non ! Iʼm ne pas fait...Iʼll aussi prendre une...
Taco à impériale causer Iʼm sentiment sauvages
Et faire ma sauce incendie. Euh, heʼll prendre doux.
weʼll prendre deux explosions de Baja de rosée Mt.
pour une chance au comptant 25 dollars
Iʼm a dit thereʼs un gagnant pour toutes les 5 minutes
Iʼm voler votre code en ligne si vous gagnerez.
Pourquoi que feriez-vous ? Vous devez me 25 os
Je vous dois 5. Plus les intérêts--c'était un prêt.
Et je pense weʼll être satisfaits, si nous obtenons certains riz mexicain sur le côté.
Et c'est elle
French to Spanish
Iʼll comenzar con un taco, suave como una nube.
Quiero nítidas mía, me encanta comer en voz alta.
Iʼll elegir una chalupa, Iʼll aprovechar una gordita.
y dos ensaladas de taco para nuestros senoritas.
Un Burrito Supremo, con agria y crema adicional
Itʼs un sueño de forma cilíndrica de carne condimentada.
Un taquito. Un enchirito. Unas aventuras de canela.
Un tazón de frontera de pollo. ¿Estás gettinʼ todo esto?
Y sabes que nada mejor que un
Hmmm, mmmm...Pizza mexicana...
Weʼll tomar dos de ellos, pero tenga tomates en dados.
Y debo decir que me sentí siempre Iʼve,
como Iʼm en el amor con el meximelt.
Hacer mía con amor extra un poco y pensar en mí...
como el queso cae su guante de Taco Bell.
y eso es todo.
¡No! Iʼm no hecho...Iʼll también tener uno...
Taco Imperial causar sensación salvaje Iʼm
Y hacer mi salsa de fuego. Eh, heʼll tomar suave.
weʼll ser Rocío Baja dos explosiones MT
para tener la oportunidad de cobrar $ 25
Iʼm dijo thereʼs un ganador para cada 5 minutos
Iʼm robar tu código en línea si gana.
¿Por qué haría? Usted debe me 25 hueso
Te debo 5. Más interés - era un préstamo.
Y creo que weʼll ser satisfecho, si conseguimos algunos arroz mexicano al lado.
Y es
Spanish to German
Iʼll beginnen mit einem Taco, glatt wie eine Wolke.
Wollen scharfe meiner eigenen, ich liebe essen laut.
Iʼll wählen Sie eine Chalupa, Iʼll nehmen eine Lucia.
und zwei für unsere Senoritas Taco Salat.
Ein Burrito Supreme, mit sauer und zusätzliche
Itʼs zylindrisch erfahrene Fleisch Traum.
Ein Taquito. Ein Enchirito. Einige Abenteuer Zimt.
Eine Schale mit Huhn Grenze. Sind Sie Gettinʼ all dies?
Und Sie wissen, dass nichts besser als ein
Hmmm, mmmm...Mexikanische Pizza...
Weʼll nehmen zwei von ihnen, aber haben Tomaten in Würfel.
Und ich muss sagen, dass ich immer Iʼve,
als Iʼm in der Liebe mit der Meximelt.
Machen Sie mir ein wenig mehr Liebe und denken über mich...
wie der Käse seinen Handschuh von Taco Bell fällt.
und das ist alles.
Nein! Iʼm nicht getan...Iʼll haben auch eine...
Imperial Taco verursachen wild Empfindung Iʼm
Und meine Soße des Feuers. Äh, Heʼll nehmen weich.
Weʼll werden tau Baja zwei Explosionen MT
die Möglichkeit, kostenlos $25
Iʼm sagte Thereʼs einen Gewinner für alle 5 Minuten
Iʼm stehlen Ihre Code in Zeile, wenn er gewinnt.
Warum würden Sie tun? Sie müssen mich 25 Knochen
Ich verdanke 5. Mehr Interesse - war ein Darlehen.
Und ich denke, dass Weʼll zufrieden sein, wenn man von einigen mexikanischen Reis auf der Seite.
Und es ist
German to Greek
Iʼll ξεκινήσει με ένα Taco, ομαλή σαν ένα σύννεφο.
Θέλετε να τρώνε αγαπώ αιχμηρή δική μου, που ζωηρά.
Επιλέξτε μια Chalupa Iʼll, Iʼll λαμβάνει ένα Λουκία.
και δύο για μας σαλάτα Taco Senoritas.
Μια burrito ανώτατο, με όξινο και πρόσθετα
Itʼs κυλινδρικό έμπειρους κρέας όνειρο.
Ένα Taquito. Ένα Enchirito. Ορισμένες κανέλα περιπέτεια.
Ένα μπωλ κοτόπουλο περίγραμμα. Είστε Gettinʼ όλα αυτά;
Και γνωρίζετε ότι τίποτα καλύτερο από ένα
MMMM Hmmm...Μεξικανική πίτσα...
Weʼll να δύο από αυτά, αλλά έχουν τομάτες σε κύβους.
Και πρέπει να πω ότι πάντοτε Iʼve,.
ως Iʼm ερωτευμένος με το Meximelt.
Να μου λίγο περισσότερο αγάπη και πιστεύω ότι για μένα...
όπως το τυρί εμπίπτει ο γάντι από Taco Bell.
και αυτό είναι όλο.
Όχι! Iʼm δεν το κάνει...Iʼll έχει ένα...
Imperial Taco προκαλούν αίσθηση άγρια Iʼm
Και μου σάλτσα πυρκαγιάς. Eh, να Heʼll μαλακό.
Weʼll να Ταυ Baja δύο εκρήξεις MT
η δυνατότητα ελεύθερη $25
Iʼm είπε ο νικητής για κάθε 5 λεπτά Thereʼs
Iʼm κλέψει τον κώδικά σας γραμμή εάν αυτός κερδίζει.
Γιατί θα κάνατε; Πρέπει να μου 25 οστά
Οφείλουμε 5. Περισσότερο ενδιαφέρον - ήταν ένα δάνειο.
Και νομίζω ότι Weʼll να χαιρόμαστε, εάν σας από ορισμένες Μεξικού ρυζιού στην πλευρά.
Και είναι
Greek to English
I ' ll start with a Taco, smooth like a cloud.
Want to eat, I love my own sharp, vivid.
Choose a Chalupa I ¢ ll, I ' ll receive a Lucia.
and our two Senoritas Taco Salad.
A burrito Supreme, with acidic and Add-ons
It ¢ s cylindrical experienced meat dream.
A Taquito. A Enchirito. Some cinnamon adventure.
A bowl of chicken border. You're Gettin ¢ all this?
And you know that there is nothing better than a
MMMM Hmmm ...Mexican pizza ...
We mount ll to two of them, but they are diced tomatoes.
And I must say that I always ¢ ve.
as I ' m in love with Meximelt.
Give me a little more love and I think that for me. ..
as the cheese covered by the glove from Taco Bell.
and that is all.
No! I ' m not done ...I ' ll have a ...
Imperial Taco cause feeling wild I ¢ m
And my sauce of fire. Eh, He ' ll soft.
We ¢ ll be Tau Baja explodes MT
the free $ 25
I ' m said the winner for every 5 minutes There ¢ s
I ' m steal your code line if he wins.
Why would you do? I must be 25 bones
We have 5. More interesting-it was a loan.
And I think We ¢ ll be pleased, if you by some Mexican rice on the side.
And it is
Imperial Taco. Sounds good!
Haha this is pretty hilarious!
Epic rap battle By: Rhett and Link
First off I wanna tell ya I enjoyed the pizza.
Well it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meetcha.
I'd like your number,
But I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it.
That means he's cheap and pathetic and if ya date him you'll regret it.
23 percent from me communicates,
I'm generous, not desperate, and I can calculate.
Is she supposed to be impressed?
Well if you want a battle be my guest
I'm a computer programmer and a cubical dweller.
I disabled SpellCheck cuz I'm a stellar speller.
When I write an email that includes an attachment,
I never hit "send" before I've attached it.
Your job is a bore.
I keep it hard core.
Sellin' knives and insurance from door to door.
You're reflectin' on a water cooler conversation
I'm givin' an incredible knife demonstration.
Can I interest you in some accidental death coverage?
Or a hard boiled egg slicer?
Link: I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene.
Rhett: Egg slicer.
I car pool
Cuz I'm environmentally sensitive
I pack a snorkel cuz I'm clever and so inventative.
Rhett: It's inventive, inventative isn't a word.
Link: Yeah i just inventated it, you just got served.
Well when I car pool, I take a group of third graders.
On my way to work I teach 'em multiplication tables.
See I'm a role model, an example to the youth.
Link: Then why did this kid just tell me that one times one is two?
At the gym people line up just to give me a spot.
All eyes on me when I'm poppin' a squat.
My career Plan B is to teach P.E.
The model on the machine is based on me.
I've mastered the art of mental manipulation
Workin' every muscle group through meditation
This is me workin' out my triceps.
Pick up my DVD called "Mind Reps."
My since of style, is sweet like syrup.
It's not uncommon for people to think I'm from Europe.
I don't follow the trends, I'm a style pioneer
See this turtleneck, with a necklace? You'll be wearing this next year.
Is that all you got?
No.
I see buttons, I just push 'em to see what they do
If something were to go wrong I'd just blame it on you.
I'm quick-witted, I always know just what to say.
Then say something clever.
Uh, ok.
I was offered a record deal while singin' at a karaoke bar
But I turned it down and became the president's karaokezar(?).
I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net
And donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet.
I gave the Heimlich to a horse chokin' on beef jerky.
Two hours later he won the Kentucky derby.
I'm allergic to nothin'.
I'm allergic to weakness.
I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses.
I can drive a stick shift.
Well I can golf.
Well I can make it look like my thumb is comin' off.
I invented the Half Nelson.
I invented the Full Nelson!
I've got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin.
My uncle is a lawyer!
I roll my own sushi!
I use the metric system exclusively!
I know Morris code!
Well i can speak it:
bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
You just said that the square root of raspberry should be legalized.
Exactly
Thread: English to French, French to Spanish, Spanish to German, German to English.
Epic Rap Battle:
First off I wanna tell ya I enjoyed the pizza.
Well it really wasn't great, but it allowed me to meetcha.
I'd like your number,
But I'm not gonna leave a big tip to get it.
That means he's cheap and pathetic and if ya date him you'll regret it.
23 percent from me communicates,
I'm generous, not desperate, and I can calculate.
Is she supposed to be impressed?
Well if you want a battle be my guest
I'm a computer programmer and a cubical dweller.
I disabled SpellCheck cuz I'm a stellar speller.
When I write an email that includes an attachment,
I never hit "send" before I've attached it.
Your job is a bore.
I keep it hard core.
Sellin' knives and insurance from door to door.
You're reflectin' on a water cooler conversation
I'm givin' an incredible knife demonstration.
Can I interest you in some accidental death coverage?
Or a hard boiled egg slicer?
Link: I can change your computer wallpaper to a tropical beach scene.
Rhett: Egg slicer.
I car pool
Cuz I'm environmentally sensitive
I pack a snorkel cuz I'm clever and so inventative.
Rhett: It's inventive, inventative isn't a word.
Link: Yeah i just inventated it, you just got served.
Well when I car pool, I take a group of third graders.
On my way to work I teach 'em multiplication tables.
See I'm a role model, an example to the youth.
Link: Then why did this kid just tell me that one times one is two?
At the gym people line up just to give me a spot.
All eyes on me when I'm poppin' a squat.
My career Plan B is to teach P.E.
The model on the machine is based on me.
I've mastered the art of mental manipulation
Workin' every muscle group through meditation
This is me workin' out my triceps.
Pick up my DVD called "Mind Reps."
My since of style, is sweet like syrup.
It's not uncommon for people to think I'm from Europe.
I don't follow the trends, I'm a style pioneer
See this turtleneck, with a necklace? You'll be wearing this next year.
Is that all you got?
No.
I see buttons, I just push 'em to see what they do
If something were to go wrong I'd just blame it on you.
I'm quick-witted, I always know just what to say.
Then say something clever.
Uh, ok.
I was offered a record deal while singin' at a karaoke bar
But I turned it down and became the president's karaokezar(?).
I rescued a dolphin entangled in a tuna net
And donated it to an orphanage to keep as a pet.
I gave the Heimlich to a horse chokin' on beef jerky.
Two hours later he won the Kentucky derby.
I'm allergic to nothin'.
I'm allergic to weakness.
I embrace my weaknesses and call them uniquenesses.
I can drive a stick shift.
Well I can golf.
Well I can make it look like my thumb is comin' off.
I invented the Half Nelson.
I invented the Full Nelson!
I've got a signed picture of Boris Yeltsin.
My uncle is a lawyer!
I roll my own sushi!
I use the metric system exclusively!
I know Morris code!
Well i can speak it:
bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop bop
You just said that the square root of raspberry should be legalized.
Exactly
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