Home of Rhett & Link fans - the Mythical Beasts!
Being the creative, writing type myself, I thought it might be a fun idea to try and start a post chain story about the adventures (or misadventures) of Puppet Rhett and Puppet Link.
How it would work is, I would start us out with a brief section with the beginning of the story. After a few short paragraphs, I would put in an "And then...", "But suddenly..." "Just then..." "Fortunately/Unfortunately...", or something along those lines, and then the next person would take over the story, repeating the process.
The goal is to have as many Mythical Beasts as possible contribute to the story, writing a diverse, creative narrative that could have Puppet Rhett and Puppet Link doing virtually anything. The possibilities are endless!
People can contribute as much or as little as they like; only please keep it respectfully short, and in line with the Kommunity's code of conduct. There's no rules on what direction each person can choose to send the story, as long as it's clean. Just take whatever the last person posted and build off of that.
And now, let us begin...
"KommuniTales: The Grand (Or Not So Grand) Adventures of Puppet Rhett and Puppet Link"
...One sunny spring morning, Puppet Rhett and Puppet Link sat out on their plastic lawn chairs in Puppet Link's yard, watching the squirrels dancing through the sprinkler.
"Hey, Link," Puppet Rhett said casually, "When's the last time we did anything fun?"
"Oh, I don't know," Puppet Link replied, thinking for a minute. "Why? Should we do something?"
"Yeah." There was a gleam in Puppet Rhett's eye. "I wanna go to Norway."
"Norway?" Puppet Link jumped out of his chair, nearly spilling his glass of lemonade. "All right! I've always wanted to go to Norway! Let's do it!"
They headed for Puppet Rhett's Ford Bronco...but Puppet Link stopped them.
"Wait a minute, Rhett," he said nervously. "We can't go to Norway without bacon. What would happen to us if we got into trouble, and we couldn't rub any bacon on it? What if they don't have bacon in Norway?"
"Mmmm," said Puppet Rhett. "You're absolutely right. We were lucky to save our bacon on our last Gazebo adventure. We can't risk something like that again."
"That time was too close," Puppet Link agreed.
"That's for sure." Puppet Rhett grunted. "It's settled, then. Let's go buy some bacon, then we'll go to Norway."
And so, Puppet Rhett and Puppet Link hopped into the Bronco and drove down to the local grocery store, in search of bacon.
As they were shopping for bacon, however...
As they were shopping for bacon, however... Rhett became distracted by an unusually large, bright and shiny Norwegian candy display near the checkout registers. He looked at the bags of candy and thought to himself, "Hmmmm. . . these look pretty good and I think I've had these before. I'm gonna go for it!" and, being the sweet-toothed lover of European candies that he is, immediately dashed over and ripped open several bags and began to scarf down approximately 4.7 kilos of the noxious confections. Unfortunately, due to the short-term memory loss suffered in a recent Time Rangerers gazebo trip, Rhett did not realize until much too late that these are salmiakki, a salty variety of liquorice flavoured with ammonium chloride, common in the Nordic countries (a.k.a. monkey turds).
But it was too late . . . as Rhett lay writhing in pain and disgust on the grocery store floor, Link grabbed his phone and dialed "911" to request an ambulance. As they were being rushed to the nearest poison control center . . .
As they were being rushed to the nearest poison control center...gunfire started to rattle the ambulance, which fortunately just happened to be plated in the latest bulletproof armor.
Puppet Link rushed to the rear window of the ambulance, gasping in shock as he noticed that they were being chased by four black cargo vans. Tons of masked gunmen were shooting at the ambulance through the windows (and sunroofs) of these vans, shouting something unintelligible at Puppet Link.
Puppet Rhett, who was starting to slowly recover from his salmiakki poisoning, asked weakly, "Link, what's going on?"
"I don't know," Puppet Link replied fearfully. "A bunch of gunmen are shooting at us from some black vans. They're yelling something at us, too."
"What are they saying," Puppet Rhett asked, wincing at all the "candy" he had so unwisely eaten.
"I can't hear them through the ambulance's walls," answered Puppet Link, "But they look angry."
All of a sudden, one of the gunmen held up an enormous sign through the sunroof of one of the vans.
The sign said...
. . . when suddenly . . . he caught a whiff of bacon goodness on the cool, crisp spring breeze.
"Forget these cobras," the mongoose leader said to his compatriots, "there's BACON nearby!" And, without another sound or thought for the consequences, the famished mongeese turned to rush the brigade of gunmen in the black vans. Good bacon is worth the risk. The entire neighborhood echoed with the sound of screeching brakes and smelled of burnt rubber mingled with bacon grease as the vans turned and roared down the alleyway with the mongoose horde in hot pursuit.
Puppet Link returned his katana to its sheath, turned to Puppet Rhett and said, "Well, I'm certainly glad that we weren't shot by the bacon terrorists . . . whatever that was all about."
"So am I," Puppet Rhett replied, "but that just means we still have to find bacon to replace what they have stolen. I'm also glad we weren't gnawed on by the ravenous mongeese. I knew I should have worn my MLP Brony-4-Life t-shirt today. What were those anyways, Indian grey mongeese? They're well known for their ability to fight and kill venomous snakes, particularly cobras, you know."
"No, I don't think so," Puppet Link answered. "They looked more like Flat-headed kusimanse to me . . . Crossarchus platycephalus in the family HERPESTIDAE, a dwarf mongoose endemic to Benin, Cameroon, and Nigeria. Probably came to Los Angeles as stow-aways aboard one of those Nigerian cargo ships unloading cocoa beans down at the harbor, and were drawn to this area because of its ready supply of bacon."
"Well whatever they were, I'm just glad they're gone. Let's get back in the ambula. . . HEY! where did our driver go?"
Puppet Link looked around. "I have no idea. In the confusion of the pending attack he may have jumped into the van of bacon terrorists. He's on his own now."
"That's okay," Puppet Rhett said with a grin, "after getting all pumped up for the fight I'm feeling just fine anyway. It's getting late and we still have work to do. I can hotwire the ambulance and we'll drive across town to that little after hours bacon joint that Jason was telling us about last week."
"Do you think we can blow the siren?" asked Puppet Link.
So, undeterred by the events of the day, our two intrepid travelers head cross-town to gather the provisions needed for their Norwegian journey. It's a good thing that Bacon-R-Us is open late night. Once the shopping was completed . . .
Rhett and Link drove on to the Gazebo in silence until...all of a sudden, Puppet Link pointed through the windshield and gasped.
"The Gazebo!" A shocked cry escaped his lips. "Your house!...My house!"
Puppet Rhett's eyes bugged out. "They're gone! They've been demolished by those construction workers!"
Sure enough, a team of construction workers in vests and hard hats stood around in the rubble of Puppet Rhett and Puppet Link's homes (and the Gazebo), a collection of bulldozers, excavator cranes, dump trucks, and other construction vehicles going about their work.
"What do you think you're doing," Puppet Link shouted as he and Puppet Rhett stormed out of the ambulance, towards the foreman. "Those were our homes!"
"We just do what we're told," the foreman told them flatly. "This land was purchased by J. Sun Industries for the construction of their new technology research facility. We'll have to take out this whole block before the building itself can be raised."
"J. Sun Industries?" Puppet Link scratched his head. "Remind me who they are again?"
Puppet Rhett could only produce a weird, gurgly sound at the site of his cratered house.
Ignoring Rhett, the foreman shrugged. "Beats me. They're some new high-tech research megacompany, I guess. They're based out of Chicago, but I hear they're setting up branch facilities all over the world. Kinda scary, if you ask me."
"I hear you," Puppet Link agreed.
Puppet Rhett just continued to gurgle.
Sensing that the conversation was over, the foreman resumed his work.
Puppet Link looked over at Puppet Rhett, cocking his head.
"Well," Link said, "We could really use a new Gazebo. It'd help us get around so much more easily."
"But we had to send Jason all the way to Sydney to buy our last Gazebo," Puppet Rhett whined.
"Hmm...that's true." Puppet Link grunted. "Also, I'd kind of like to go investigate this "J. Sun Industries" company, whoever they are."
"But they're in Chicago," Puppet Rhett whined again.
"What should we do?" Puppet Link threw his hands up. "Should we go to Australia and get a new Gazebo...or should we go to Illinois and check out J. Sun Industries?"
"Maybe we should just go to Norway," Puppet Rhett muttered.
After much careful deliberation between Chicago, Sydney, and Norway, Puppet Rhett and Puppet Link finally hopped back in the ambulance and began their journey to...
And then...Puppet Link let out a yelp as the other dude started screaming, "Word butchers! I will annihilate you for your transgressions against the English language!"
Fortunately, just as puppet doctor and Amelia pond were about to be erased from history for their grammatical slip-up, Puppet Link held up a strip of bacon.
"Wait!" He ran over to the puppet doctor. "Let me rub some bacon on this."
In the blink of an eye, Doctor Who, the Tardis, and Amelia Pond were restored to normal, and the appeased companion disappeared in a surly flash.
"Sorry about that, chap," the Puppet Doctor apologized to Link. "He must've traveled with us from the Word Minders time period. Grammar Nazis, I think they called themselves. They have extraordinary magical powers there, you know."
"I know," Puppet Link replied...even though he really didn't know.
Glancing at the Tardis, he asked suddenly, "Did you say that that thing travels through time?"
"Why, yes," Puppet Amelia replied, pointing to herself and the Puppet Doctor. "We just traveled through it to come here."
"Yes!" Puppet Link's mind was racing now. "Out of curiosity, do you suppose I could ask you to transport me in it?"
"That might be all right," the Puppet Doctor said heartily, "Considering you just saved our lives from a raging Grammar Nazi."
"Great!" Puppet Link pumped his fist in the air in triumph. "Okay, I need to go back to just before my companion, Rhett, disappeared. Maybe I can save him from whatever made him vanish."
"No problem, old boy." The Puppet Doctor slapped Puppet Link on the shoulder. "In we go!"
Five minutes later, the Tardis had materialized on the highway next to Puppet Rhett and Puppet Link's ambulance. The ambulance, of course, went out of control and crashed, since Puppet Link was now in the Tardis instead of the driver's seat of the ambulance.
As Puppet Rhett climbed out of the mangled ambulance and stumbled confusedly towards the Tardis...
As Puppet Rhett climbed out of the mangled ambulance and stumbled confusedly towards the Tardis…
The time machine started to shake and generate noise. Puppet Doctor, who was standing in the doorway with Puppet Link and Puppet Amy, suddenly dashed back into the Tardis, and began pushing buttons and pulling levers.
“What are you doing?” Puppet Link cried in confusion.
“It’s the Tardis!” Puppet Doctor replied, “It’s acting up, and I don’t know why! Hurry! Get your friend in here before we accidentally leave him behind!”
Puppet Link promptly pulled a properly perplexed Puppet Rhett into the peculiar predicament. (Say that three times fast.) The door of the Tardis slammed shut.
“What the-? What is this place?” Puppet Rhett exclaimed, gazing in awe at the strangely large interior of the police box.
“It’s called the Tardis,” Puppet Link explained, “We can use it to travel in time, it can even take us to Norway! Isn’t that great?”
Puppet Rhett was about to express his happiness at this good news, when Puppet Doctor cut him off.
“Well it would be great, if that were all good and true,” He grumbled, banging on buttons, and pointing to Puppet Amy to pull certain levers, “But right now the Tardis has something else in mind. I don’t know where she’s taking us, and she’s not responding to anything I do!” Puppet Doctor fumbled for a screen, and pulled it towards him. He muttered some undesirable words under his breath when he saw what was outside. Turning to Puppet Rhett and Link he said, “We’re about to enter the vortex so I strongly suggest that you stay put and hold onto somthi - !”
But Puppet Doctor was cut off when the Tardis suddenly shook wildly, throwing the unsuspecting Puppets to and fro. When it finally stopped, Puppet Doctor raced to the door, and pulled it open to reveal…