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What do you think of the beginning of this story?


Let me know what you think of the beginning of my story. Have any suggestions?  



 
I stare at the ground beneath me. The cobblestones I stand on are uneven and uncomfortable against my bear feet. I look up from beneath me and notice that I am in the middle of an alley way with no one else around me. As I walk forward, I notice a tapping sound a distance away. What could it be? It reminds me of a student tapping their pen against their desk when they don’t know the answer to a question. As I begin to walk towards the sound, a dark figure begins to form. His face is hidden from the shadows but his tall strong build assures me I do not want to mess with him. I hear a click. I don’t recognize the sound at first until I see the silver chamber submerge from the shadows.
  “Please don’t shoot,” I plea.
  Before I could continue pleaing for my life and convince this stranger that shooting me would not be an intelligent decision, I hear him release the trigger.
  I scream as I clench the sheets on my bed, leaning forward with cold sweat dripping down my face. It’s been years since I have had a nightmare like this one; when I think about it, I haven’t dreamt in a long time. I slip out of bed, throw on a pair of jeans and a sweater I wore the previous day and head towards my bathroom. I stare at myself in the mirror for a few seconds scanning my face. I have not changed from the night before; my hair is still as long and as brown as it was, with its curls still being uncooperative. My eyes, although balancing on top of sleepless bags, are still as big and brown as they have been since I were a child. Sometimes I don’t care for the features I have been born with, and other times I wish I had looked like everyone else; blonde and beautiful.

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K-Mod
Comment by Gumbo123 on January 16, 2014 at 1:05pm

fuzzy is always better than suzzy

Comment by Katherine Ivy on January 16, 2014 at 12:57pm
hahah very funny :P I guess I should reword that so it doesn't sound like I am a human-bear hybrid :) maybe I should take your suggestion an make it so I am just wearing Fuzzy bear slippers haha

K-Mod
Comment by Gumbo123 on January 16, 2014 at 12:55pm

I'm thinking that any story about a person with feet like a bear can become very interesting.

 

. . . or are you just wearing those funny suzzy slippers?

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