Home of Rhett & Link fans - the Mythical Beasts!
This morning, I woke up and went back to sleep. Or tried to. When I realized I wasn't going to be able to, I stretched my arms out, and both of my hands went under my pillow. Suddenly, something grasped my left hand.
I struggled to move, I tossed and turned, not screaming or saying anything at all. That wouldn't have helped, I was alone. My heart was racing, there was an intruder and they were going to murder me. I devised an incredibly stupid yet simple plan in my head, I was going to free my fists and punch the intruder in the face, then run and call the cops. The hardest part was the first step, freeing my hands. I threw my body to the left, flinging pillows and blankets every which way. I looked up to face my opponent, I saw his hand.
It looked exactly like mine.
In fact, it was mine. My right hand had grasped my left when they were under the pillow. Both of them were out of my line of vision and equally matched. They were interlocked under the pillow, paralyzing them both in an uncomfortable position. This led me to believe it was someone else clasping my hands together, preparing to murder me.
Now I know what you're thinking, this isn't a "near-death" situation. I'm getting to that though. Even as I came to the realization that there was no intruder, I still ran out of my room and down the steps, my heart racing. My breathing was heavy, and I was still scared, this is when I began thinking I was going to have a heart attack. I grabbed my chest, and fell down the rest of the steps.
It turned out, I wasn't having a heart attack and I was just dizzy because I went from sleeping for six hours to jumping up and running. I stood up to fast, and fell down the steps. Now, my steps are very old, so old that the banister is starting to break, revealing splinters and nails that get loose and land on the steps themselves. Once I was done falling down the steps, my face ended up right next to a huge, gross and rusty nail. Later in the day I laughed about it and now I'm laughing as I type.
I basically cheated death.