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Greg, the dog, a look back: An attempt at friendship, and Knock-knock.

Now, I have an actual subject besides the posts, so it's going to be a moment. I usually launch these posts out with Churbles, Grammatical Bomb, but a special event is coming up, and I need to post lots of these and I can't come up with many more grammatical things to rant about (I've used all the ones I can think of, now). So, just know there'll be more of these and less of others.

To the post, or posts, as the two are related. Now, I normally wrote normally, but I have a special appreciation for a couple different writing styles. So, I used a more of an old detective movie style here, and it's weird in a couple places, so here goes it.

An Attempt at Friendship

Jim the squirrel walks up to my chain with evil, no doubt, on his mind. I, with great determination to stop the pain he causes (and to put the techniques I learned at obedience camp to use), said, “Before we start with this pestering business, let’s negotiate our ‘friendship’.”

He clicked and chirped to himself, you know, the way squirrels do, and came to the conclusion that we may confer.

The negotiations started when I said, “We can’t continue the way we are now. I get beaten and made fun of way too often. So, I propose that if you stop all that mess, we can work out something for you.” I let my words set in with the silence… it apparently took a while to settle. He finally let out this flurry of snaps and smacks, I could barely keep up, it ended with a satisfied “Kwakaloock.”

His ideas were outrageous!I mean seriously, do you hear this guy?! I firmly said, “NO! I mean,seriously, in a clown suit?! Not gonna happen. And where am I supposed to get a big-mouthed bass that knows how to sing? How about the ‘four nuts a day accompanied with a joke or two’? That one sounds reasonably sane when compared to all the other ideas.”

There was a pause. “skwacolagloloc” finally spilled out of his mouth like pickle juice on a freshly groomed poodle. I agreed with “That sounds moderately sane,” and we went our separate ways.

Well it was long and a little different, but now I won’t be bothered (as much) anymore. See you Wednesday.

Let me just say, the pickle juice thing is a little weird. And, I quote "skwacolagloloc" a decent amount for what it is. It's also a bit long for having another post with it, but- to the related post!

Knock-knock

As you might know, Jim the squirrel and I made an agreement, yesterday, involving his pestering me. I give him three or four nuts a day along with a joke and he’ll stop the annoying junk. This is what today’s events brought me…

Jim came with a smile on his face, knowing that this would be fun… for him. I had made a good effort to gather these nuts, not having thumbs and all, but I managed to find two acorns a walnut and something I guessed was an almond, he stuffed them into his cheeks with a quick movement of his thumbs, coughing as he did so - maybe it wasn’t an almond. Anyway, now it was time for me to tell a joke. Don’t laugh - or rather, don’t laugh at the joke - you get what I mean. This was the joke: “Knock-knock.” (who’s there?) “Who.” (who who?) “Why, Hello mister owl!"… I cracked up… he fell silent… it took me all night long to come up with that joke.

Well, I shudder just remembering this…

See you Wednesday.

I wish I had added a sigh or two. Though, I love the emphasis on thumbs. Anyway.

'Til I decide it's time enough,

Peyton/Churbles.

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Comment by Peyton (Beaux-Tie) on October 21, 2013 at 4:57pm

That's just great, Gumbo.


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Comment by Gumbo123 on October 21, 2013 at 4:45pm

only for Churbles . . .

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