Heather S. (YogaGhost)'s Posts - RhettandLinKommunity2024-03-28T19:24:56ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghosthttps://storage.ning.com/topology/rest/1.0/file/get/1544310800?profile=RESIZE_48X48&width=48&height=48&crop=1%3A1https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blog/feed?user=34f1brt7teyce&xn_auth=noRhett & Link Photos & Mini-Blog from the N.C. State Fair, Oct 12, 2018.tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2018-10-15:2452419:BlogPost:23420522018-10-15T07:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p><span>TO</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/?eid=ARBJX3oawZP7tkfP1i3jyosOSwJwYC5sMPB4Psocxs3s9Wet3wnSfF53kroAWIU6Ts9E6EDFdTsNWtHD" rel="noopener" target="_blank">Rhett and Link</a> <span>: YOU MAY KEEP/USE <a href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10102018846537578&type=1&l=6c77f70803" rel="noopener" target="_blank">THESE PHOTOS</a> FREELY AS YOU LIKE! (Please credit, if you like). My friends and family LOVED YOUR PERFORM…</span></p>
<p><span>TO</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/?eid=ARBJX3oawZP7tkfP1i3jyosOSwJwYC5sMPB4Psocxs3s9Wet3wnSfF53kroAWIU6Ts9E6EDFdTsNWtHD" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Rhett and Link</a> <span>: YOU MAY KEEP/USE <a href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10102018846537578&type=1&l=6c77f70803" target="_blank" rel="noopener">THESE PHOTOS</a> FREELY AS YOU LIKE! (Please credit, if you like). My friends and family LOVED YOUR PERFORM</span><span class="text_exposed_show">ANCE! Had SO much fun!</span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show"><br/> Rhett and Link performed at the N.C. State Fair in the Dorton Arena, Friday, 10-12-18, from 7:30-9:45pm. It was fantastic! Please credit if sharing/reposting photos. I shot the photos of Rhett and Link with my mom's Canon camera. It made us look like we were front row even though we sat pretty far from the stage in the tiered seats!</span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show">----</span></p>
<p><span class="text_exposed_show">Added Nov 19, 2018: </span></p>
<p>Late, I know. In a nutshell, until I'm able to write more detail, here's my comment under the Ear Biscuit, "Has Touring Changed Us?" Ear Biscuits Ep.169:</p>
<p></p>
<p><span>"Oh the tractor pull.... lol. You guys did very well given the distraction. Well done. It was awesome! So I was there and I have a lot of criticisms about the fair, but on your part, my boyfriend, my mom and I met up with <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Centauromadoose" target="_self">Centauromadoose</a> and her husband and really enjoyed the show! As vets, we really enjoyed the range of songs from old to new. Middle School Girlfriend will never get old performed. It always gets laughs, it's always fun to watch and sing to! Have You Ever was my highlight because that's my ultimate favorite song of yours. I enjoyed Rabbit Lightning coming out and the songs they sang fit their style really well, especially BBQ song. The rap section was great, the jumpsuits were amazing (perhaps a nod to Shane & Jeffree?). However, I did feel, because of the boominess in the arena, it was hard to understand the words in the battles well, and visuals would have been helpful for some lyrics/songs. Belly Button and Vacation were my favorite performed in that section (SO fun to sing to!). So Dang Dark was great, but I think it needed props or visuals (but I'm used to seeing the video). There was something for everyone. My mom, who is a senior and suffered cancer, stroke, and seizures, happily enjoyed songs she could understand and laughed at many comedic moments. My boyfriend, who loves comedy and rap, enjoyed the overheard conversation songs and the rap section. I enjoyed all aspects of the show, including how y'all got by with the tractor pull noise, which I think made the show even more unique and the moments of narration. I appreciate every aspect of the show was how it was put together. I definitely think you all should play in a different, bigger arena next time because of the outside noise from the fair and the acoustics of the room, and to accommodate the ever-growing number of audience members!! As a former percussion music student/performer, I had a lot of similar thoughts as you did that you explained in this video as to why you may have chosen certain songs to play, so that made sense. I really hope you continue to tour, whether it's like the ToM or this show. It's wonderful and exciting to see you live and so fun to sing the songs with you! And when you're around other mythical beasts, that home-y feeling of community is so strong and comforting. I love it! Thanks so much!!"</span></p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 1052-1155 (not complete)tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2017-07-02:2452419:BlogPost:22952162017-07-02T04:30:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(July 2 2017)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" rel="noopener" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" rel="noopener" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" rel="noopener" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, …</strong></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(July 2 2017)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GMM 370-521</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GMM 522-667</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GMM 668-815</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GMM 816-968</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GMM 969-1051</a></strong></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON ELEVEN</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1054: R (singing) "Kiss me through the phone."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1065: R “Bib me!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I love a good rack.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Okay, this is gonna be a little weird. I’m not gonna watch you.” R “Well, hold on. I will say there was that time in eighth grade where we were both in the same room kissing two different girls and we made eye contact, you remember that?” L “I remember you timing it and telling me how long it lasted afterward, but-.” R “No, I was making out with Amber and you were making out with Anna, and I, like, open my eyes and I saw you, (laughs and points) and I was like, mmm, turned away very quickly.” L “I just wanted to see-” “I wanted to see who was, if you were done or not. I didn’t want to get done first, just like right now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m having a crisis of-” R “This feels so wrong.” L “-life right now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Top that, Casanova!” R “It was such a mistake to watch you kiss!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I look like a demented football player. I look like a renegade kicker. Like, ‘he’s just a kicker, but he’s crazy!’” “I’m a kicker. I play the guitar on the sidelines.” “I’d like to be a crazy NFL kicker.” “If I wasn’t an internet comedian or a paleontologist, my third choice would be NFL kicker, you know? They live and die by the kick.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“I like the tick,</p>
<p dir="ltr">I like to have the rhythm when I’m sleeping and I kick.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I’m a kicker</p>
<p dir="ltr">in the NFL.</p>
<p dir="ltr">I been doin’ it for a really long time,</p>
<p dir="ltr">and I sleep at night with my makeup on,</p>
<p dir="ltr">and I’ve only got</p>
<p dir="ltr">one ball</p>
<p dir="ltr">cause (of?)</p>
<p dir="ltr">flexibility is important</p>
<p dir="ltr">if you wanna dominate in this league. That’s me.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-ac3b-3a2f-4f67-9a7868ed61f2">I’m a kicker.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1068: R “I like using championship as a verb. I’m a fan of that.” L “Rhymes with trippin’ shippin’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Willaston worms are the gweatest worms in the world.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “How have we never been to this thing, Link? It’s in Louisburg!” L “I don’t go to Louisburg. People are weird there. They like to whistle.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We did a ‘Don’t Google That’ recently and it was Ballerina Feet and I was looking at the comments and people were like, ‘guys, if you tell us not to google something, we’re going to google it.’ I just-I know there has to be people like you in the world in order-I-there has to be a spectrum. There just has to be a spectrum. I know that that’s just how things work, but if you’re on that part of the spectrum where that’s the kind of comment that you make, just reevaluate things before you comment. Just think for a second, ‘maybe they intended this to be sarcastic. Maybe I shouldn’t make this comment.’” L “Rhett.” R “That’s just all I’m asking. I mean, just, you don’t have to listen, but just maybe you should listen.” L “Rhett.” R “Yeah. Sorry.” L “It was me. I left the comment.” (R laughs)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-2a7a-5fea-0704-5a76b71e72f9">R “Chips and salsa, I mean, I could just sit by myself for a really long time doing this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1071: L “Next up we have frozen mustard, like frozen custard except, uh, well, it’s just yellow mustard, and look at how yellow it is. ” R “And look what we wore today! We look like the spokesman for frozen mustard! Step right up! You spill it on this shirt, doesn’t matter as long as it hits the right stripe!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m a middle-aged mustard man, myself.” “You know you’re pressing hard when you can sever a finger with a spoon!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Old men, they like hard cheese and strong mustard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-2a7a-907d-cbc6-048c709a6444">GMMore: L “Deep fried mustard ice cream! Pretzel crusted mustarded ice cream!” “Step right up and get your busboy juice!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1073: L “You’re gross, man. Your romantic talk is weird.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Say things that make sense, man!’ L “Do something that make sense!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1074: R “On Monday, we announced our very exciting announcement about our book! ‘Rhett and Link’s Book of Mythicality’!” “The subtitle is ‘A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery.’ It’s all about living the mythical life and we put a lot of ourselves into this book.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...it started as a small idea, like ‘yeah, we should do something, we should do a book, it is the thing to do, right, YouTubers are doing books, yeah, we gotta get in one that game,’ but once we got into it, we just were like, ‘oh, this is turning into way more, this is turning into the book we thought we would write five to ten years from now-” L “When no one cared.” R “Yeah, exactly. (laughs) We didn’t think we would do something that was so based on our stories and was such a autobiography and memoir approach and that’s just what it became because in order to talk about our different aspects of mythicality in our lives, we had to talk about the stories and the experiences that contributed to that so that’s what the book became…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-43ad-7bc6-7da9-72ba11db6944">L “But it felt great to be doing something for the first time again at my age.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1076: Michael/VSauce: “You can’t drink from a book.” L “Yes, you can. You drink knowledge!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-4e87-20b4-6e65-9773ac8f10f0">GMMore: L “Taste the memory, is the slogan for-” Michael/Vsauce: “Pork brain smoothies, yeah.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1078: L “There are few things in life more valuable than finding a place to sit and do nothing, I mean, we all love to slouch in a couch, to daze in a chaise, to be ineffectual in a sectional.” “I’ve never seen a magician without his shirt tucked in.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-6295-a94c-40a7-ab943d457089">GMMore: L “We here at our desk do not like to move to go to our couch. We like to have the couch brought to us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1079: R “And this specific food hack inspired by the movie is for all the dreamers out there, who count their sheep before they sleep, but when they awake in the morning, they realize that their dreams, like lambs, have been slaughtered and turned into meatballs, it’s La La Land Meatballs, everybody!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If your kids are lost, you should stop playing games and look for them!” “It’s breaking out into song in my mouth. (singing->) I taste like a lamb.” “Dink it and nominate it for mouth purchase.” “Ryan, you devil you. You’ve outdone yourself, Mr. Eva Mendes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Oh come on, look what you did to my boy! What-” L “I censored him.” R “Why would you do that? This is a man, when women see him on screen, their eggs just get deviled right there in the theater.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-6e04-3618-f760-a0c6e520674e">GMMore: L “Conquer your fears by doing things that aren’t too stupid. We celebrate that.” “You’re too young to make things plural that aren’t plural. That’s an old woman thing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1081: R “He’s almost hurt me so many times and injured me so many times that I’m not surprised, but Chase, you okay?” Chase “I think so?” L “I’m surprised you didn't say more than you said!” Chase “I was trying to be nice for the fans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Your ball, your nut.” “High and to the right, consistently.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Oh, I chewed up some of those green things. Those are like nutty seeds.” “I’ve cracked the case! It’s nutty seeds!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We quit asking questions a long time ago.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I think I’m definitely a flash-and-smile-and-twirl-my-hair kinda gal.” “Sippy-sip time, boys!” “I like to think of myself as a lil’ cray-cray.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’re not fit, man.” R “True.” L “You’re not unfit. I mean, you’re fit to be an internet comedian.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-736d-e6b1-f7ee-a96411db50b7">L “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want?” Stevie “Uh-huh.” L “I wanna, ha, I wanna, ha, I wanna ziggy-zig ah?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1082: L “Rhett, if you were not an internetainer, what would you want to be?” R “A paleontologist.” L “That’s right. I knew that. So you want to be a studier of stuff that’s been dug up.” R “Well, specifically, fossils, not just anything. I mean, I have my tastes, my preferences.“</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I need to be wearing my beige outfit, my beige onesie. That’s what I wear when the paleontologists are watching.” “Kids, that’s how you do good in school!” “Are y’all watching? I’ll put the beige on if you want me to!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-820b-1236-9a8d-1b99a7575f49">GMMore: R “Man, getting buried alive would suck so bad. If this was dirt? What a way to go! That’s why I’m not in the mob. That’s why I don’t cross the mob. Mob, I know you’re watching. I’m not gonna cross you. You can have a cut of our business at anytime.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1083: R “Is it a product?” Mayim “Isn’t everything?” L “So, yes.” “Just like everything, it is a product.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’re actually feeling dimensionality?” Mayim “I am.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “When in doubt, stroke it out.” “It feels great to do nothing and be hilarious!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m a genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You look like a superhero that no one would want to come help.” Mayim “With the power of the crinoline!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That’s clairvoyance. That’s what that is. I’ve always assumed that I had it especially for, you know, household products.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My daughter is about to be 14,” Mayim “She’s my target audience!” L “and she’s gonna get your book.” Mayim “‘Cause she’s strong, smart and spectacular!” L “She is, and reading the book will only help.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1085: R “Today, we dance the pain away.” “Touch the membrane, Link!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What was your song about?” L “I don’t know. Energy. It was intensity!” R “It wasn’t about a woman going through her Apple Notes about what she was going to do for the day, to a cool guitar?” L “No.” R “Well, mine was!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Cool club. You come here often?” L “First time, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Codependency in the club.” L “Yeah, well it’s survival of the funkiest.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We gotta take that group on the road, man.” L “Yeah.” R “I mean, that’s the best thing we’ve ever done.” L “And then leave ‘em.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-90fd-e70b-47a1-7da56b571d9f">L “There you have it, Laura. So, get you one of these suits and some other friends in their suits. It won’t be weird at all. Your feet won’t hurt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1086: R “You’re a chicken expert, man!” L “I’m a chicken genius! You’re finally a genius at something!” L “I’m good at something!” R “We should play a song!” L “I wanna thank Rhett for being here for this. I wanna thank all you guys, Chase for feeding me, I wanna thank all the chickens in the world for sacrificing yourself for the fryer for me, and for all my friends, free chicken sandwiches for everybody today!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What are the chances? All the stars are aligning! Link, you need to try something difficult today ‘cause you will succeed. Your lip balm is aligning with your chicken. What else could happen?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I got chicken tuition. That sounds like I’m putting one through college. I meant chicken intuition.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t get too bun-y, now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-a210-5ebd-56dd-d8c93e272f93">R “You ever had a double decker McFish?” L “No, I wouldn’t dare!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1089: L “Today, let’s move at the speed of conversation, shall we?” “If your orange is black, don’t eat it anywhere, much less a shower.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We are in the age of the shower orange.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Like, anything that where I’m immediately cleansed after being dirty, it’s like, I’m into that!” R “That’s why we like bidets so much!” L “Yeah! I don’t like to have sustained dirtiness, but” R “Who does, really.” L “there’s something euphoric about getting dirty, right?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “But now, I don’t have any fruit trees. I feel fruitless. My life is fruitless now.” L “The shower orange thing has really made you existential.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-af5a-4da6-89d1-8f19bf5a0ae7">L “Think about the beauty of the orange, as a thing. Like, just think about rollin’ up on one of these things if you never knew they existed.” “You’re robbing yourself of a happy moment.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1096: R “Turtle meat, that was my nickname in high school. There’s a little turtle meat. That’s what they said when I was coming, when I was on my way. ‘There’s a little turtle meat. Here he comes again!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1098: R “You’re such a good slicer!” “Pop on the far side then rake across.” “Don’t touch it! I’m the slimer!” “I’m a cake genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Oh yeah, look at those numbers just flying off the edge, man!” “I feel like I’m dialing the world.” “Gimmie that Crayola rhythm. Not a sponsor.” “Stripe it, smooth it. Stripe it, smooth it. Spin it, stripe it, smooth it, lick it. Spin it, stripe it, smooth it. I wanted to try it, but now I’ve changed my mind!” “Never seen anybody eat a spun cake like that before.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-037c-9b0d-f56c-3e886dd64c65">R “You give me a countdown. I’m gonna blow your mind.” L “99.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1106: R “It makes me so happy to eat things.” “And I know creaminess is a texture, but it feels like a taste in my heart right now...” “We look like we’ve had quite a Friday night.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The flavor’s weak, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I mean, we’re professional tasters. We’re trying to bring the truth to you. Sometimes that means making a sacrifice. Sometimes that means just opening up your hatchet and just throwing in some,” L “Your hatchet.” R “-some seasoning.” L “That’s a knife, man. That’s like an axe!” R “Your hatch! I like to call mine a hatchet ‘cause it’s a small mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-286f-61e0-141e-4e13713b8bad">GMMore: R “I feel like I’m just enjoying all the chips of my life!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1112: L “I’ve never smelled anything that made me wanna punch myself in the face!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t let the smellicorn swing! That’s the number one rule of having a smellicorn hanging between yourself!” “We excreted all of our wisdom juices right onto the pages of ‘Rhett and Link’s Book of Mythicality’ and you can waft it right into your shopping cart…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1113: R “Give everything a chance.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m descending into the gorge.” L “Go into the gorge!” R “I’m going down! Belay me!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Well, you’re doing great, cookie! Keep it up!” Colin “Alright, alright.” R “You just called him, ‘cookie’?” “You guys spend time together after work, long enough to give him a nickname like ‘cookie’?” L “I don’t know why I called him ‘cookie’. I thought it would butter him up so he could keep drinking.” Colin “Made me feel great.” L “You lookin’ good, cookie!” R “I’m uncomfortable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Cookie’s being quiet. Cookie hadn’t made a noise yet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1114: L “This is just like I dreamed it would be.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-6633-87ef-a93e-6735dedc0e35">R “What have you learned, Shepherd?” Shepherd “That it’s good to eat nachos off of people.” R “That’s right. These are the lessons that we teach in the McLaughlin family.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1121: R “I thought you said you’d never had a Dunkin Donuts sandwich before!” L “I haven’t.” R “How do you know what the outside tastes like?” L “Sometimes you just know.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Am I a partial genius?” R “I’d say you’re an academically gifted breakfast student.” L “Academically gifted breakfast student for the win!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-93ec-1137-ee6b-1e59682673a0">GMMore: L “This is a breakfast smoup.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1123: R “Did you bring a horse in?” L “Nope, it’s me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You should just know I’m having more fun than I’ve had all day.” L “Jello, jello!” R “No, I’m having more fun.” L “Well, I know. You always have fun with jello!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Let’s get poppin’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Popcorn?” L “Close.” R “Oh! Corn corn!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What can we do with this skill we’re developing? Like, can we open a business of listening to people chew?” R “You think we’ve demonstrated skill?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1124: R “Okay, now let’s become women.” “I always wanted to say that to you.” “I’m attracted to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I look so hot!” L “What on earth?!” R “That’s what could have happened, man! You could be that’s best friend.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “It doesn’t change you, man!” L “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Harry Styles looks like a hot Miss Piggy!” “When in doubt, blame the neural network.” “I made myself a woman and I became Allison Williams!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is me.” L “Well, yeah,” R “No.” L “that’s you.” R “That’s me run through the Spark filter once.” L “Oh. I guess I just gave you a really good compliment.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Who is that?!” L “I don’t know, but she’s going to the prom!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A fully sparked Steve Buscemi.” R “Wow! You’re welcome, Steve!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1125: L “They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, but while you’ve been staring lovingly into the eyes of your lover, your feet are down there saying, ‘Hey! I’m the floor to ceiling soul window right here! I have a soul, and I’m a foot.’” R “Oh, I get it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You got rid of your foot blanket.” L “I trimmed it, and I just kept going all the way up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Okay, I’m going to be doing a lot of foot touching, just so you know, and if you’re into that kind of thing, don’t tell us that you are in the comments. Okay, just stay here quietly and enjoy yourself, okay?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We used to wrestle, remember that?” L “No. Uh, we’ve never-oh, I didn’t mean to do that.” R “We went through, like, a UFC phase. We would UFC each other in our dorm room.” “We’ll talk about that later.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “My foot looks like one of those, like a foot sticker!” “I have an iconic foot, man!” L “You got a freakin’ foot cave!” “There’s like bats hiding under there.” “Stay out of my foot cave.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Pre-kids, I was a strong man.” “I know a little thing about your feet ‘cause as a child, I remember they called you ‘Flat Foot Neal.’” “Flat-footed people are the life of the party!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Narrow feet mean you enjoy being pampered.” R “That’s true. I love a hot tub.” L “You tend to be good” R “I love soft clothes.” L “at delegating tasks.” R “Oh, yeah, I get you to do everything.” L “And then I get Chase to do it. You desire beauty in your surroundings.” R “That’s true.” L “Which explains my presence.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You spend too much time bending over backwards for someone in your life. If that someone is me, don’t change.” “Do you bend over backwards for anyone in your life?” R “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’ve learned to deal with you.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve been meaning to tell you all about my personal problems.” L “Now’s the time to do it.” R “On this show.” L “Just gush about it.” R “Now that you pointed out my curly toe.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Don’t touch that one.” R “Why?” L “That’s the one thing in life I can’t stand when somebody grabs that toe. My kids do it to me and they know I can’t stand it.” “It’s like pinching a butterbean, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’ll own it. I am the boss.” R “See? This toe and my toe bending over sideways, bending over backwards for your bossy self.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>GOOD MYTHICAL SUMMER</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1146: R “It’s time that you face the fact that the world is a dark and chaotic place and your body can’t be trusted.” L “Oh, my goodness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s gonna be so haptical, it’s gonna be happenin’.” “Let daddy, let daddy out of his chair.” “Daddy had trouble getting out of his chair!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wasn’t a scout, did one day in Cub Scouts, too hard, you had to do stuff to get the badges.” “Oh those garlic fingers.” “Ol’ garlic fingers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re gonna have to rub my nose, and you’re gonna have to be okay with it.” L “I’m not, it’s weird.” “I don’t even like to rub my own nose.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Why do your fingers stink so bad?” L “You don’t wanna know.” R “Your fingers smell like you stuck them into a garden of garlic.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “First of all, do you wanna be daddy or garlic fingers because you gotta make a choice.” L “I wanna be Daddy Garlic Fingers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I wanna support you in all of your creative endeavors, but I currently don’t know how creative you are.” “You’re so creative! You know what, you’re a great person. You are.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Daddy Garlic Fingers just slapped me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Look at me in the eyes. What did you have for breakfast?” L “I wonder if it works through the internet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1155: R “I feel like a crab boy!” "Don't tick me off at a party, if I got a Splayd. I just learned something about myself. I'm a deadly weapon." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "My Aunt Merla loves to bring her jello to the family reunions, but you know what she also likes to do, 'cause she's legally blind, she likes to, and she's losing her hair," L "Oh my gosh." R"a lot of times, she ends up with a few hairs in her jello." L "A few?" R "Yeah." L "That whole dark spot in the middle is-" R "Well, it's gotten worse over time." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "Fake dink it and real sink it." "Bring your soup, have a party." "Do it horizontal. I don't care."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "You don't eat horizontal sometimes?" L "No, Rhett."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON TWELVE</strong></p>"The RhettandLinKast Live" Video Guide: Cornhole Song, Senators, Voice of Mashed Potatoes 12/7/07tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2017-05-21:2452419:BlogPost:22873232017-05-21T03:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"><em>*Example of completed timestamped video guide for project: </em></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">"The RhettandLinKast Live" Video Guide Project </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">"Cornhole Song, Senators, Voice of Mashed Potatoes" </p>
<p dir="ltr">original air date: 12/07/2007</p>
<p dir="ltr"><a href="http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/104189">http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/104189</a><span> </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2"><span>"FULL LENGTH: 1st show…</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><em>*Example of completed timestamped video guide for project: </em></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">"The RhettandLinKast Live" Video Guide Project </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">"Cornhole Song, Senators, Voice of Mashed Potatoes" </p>
<p dir="ltr">original air date: 12/07/2007</p>
<p dir="ltr"><a href="http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/104189">http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/104189</a><span> </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2"><span>"FULL LENGTH: 1st show ever! </span><br/> <span>The RhettandLinKast Live - 12/07/07 </span><br/> <span>SORRY THIS ONE IS CHOPPY...subsequent episodes are much improved :) !"</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>-timestamps from video playback</span><span><br/></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="font-size: 10pt;">0:20 Welcome to the first ever RhettandLinKast Live!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">0:44 broadcasting from Lillington, North Carolina (NC), county seat of Harnett County, NC</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">1:37 We're from rhettandlink.com, have a podcast for 18 months, next step - web show/live web show</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">1:49 Link - "We're trying to assert our comedic dominance on the internet live airwaves."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">1:58 Broadcasting through Ustream.tv</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">2:13 Join chat on rhettandlink.com or Ustream</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">2:35 not a daily show, once a week every Friday at noon on East Coast</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">3:17 won't read chat in whole show, it'll be more interactive</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">3:50 World premiere of videos will be shown on Kast before Monday release on YouTube - “World Wide Web web video world Premiere” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">5:52 “the Lillingtonians episode 1” video</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">7:11 Senator Morgan, guest</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">8:08 we grew up in Buies Creek</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">15:00 Rhett - ready to host show by myself</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">15:18 speaking in unison - “First of all”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">16:22 “Picks of the Interlitter” segment</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">17:55 Garlic mashed red potatoes with cheese - holidaykitchen.tv, “Twist my arm!"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">19:50 Rhett - “I’m hungry because of the voice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">21:14 Allison Fishman phone call</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">32:42 Link - "we're committed to doing this", Rhett - "This live video...is like the Cotton Gin."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">34:05 taping/streaming discussion</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">34:48 Rhett - “Tell me it’ll be okay.” Steve Martin quote</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">34:55 Cornhole Song background</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">37:07 RhettandLink board, <a href="https://www.ajjcornhole.com/">https://www.ajjcornhole.com</a></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">37:07 (The) Cornhole Song</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">41:48 asterisks in the chat represent clapping</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">42:50 Link - how is this going so far?, Rhett’s advice for viewers</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">44:08 Rhett - “You’re only going to like it if there’s something a little bit wrong with you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">45:30 hater comments, Rhett - “That's part of being on the internet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">46:06 opposite is true, family-friendly</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">47:10 future predictions,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">47:27 Rhett - "...I am so in tune with the present, that it's like the future is just a natural extension of my own brain; my frontal lobe."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">48:45 sophomore/junior year in college, Link says Rhett planned that each would get married and have single wide trailers, create a courtyard for both families</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">51:50 “Textual BomBarDment” segment (TB)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">53:18 Link - "We each have a wife."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">53:23 went to NC State, Rhett - "UNC is Satan."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">53:40 lived in Syme Dorm at NC State</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">53:45 "How did you marry a UNC-er?”, Rhett - "Well, because love is blind, baby. I love my wife so passionately, that I'm able to overcome that she is from the enemy."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">54:06 Link’s real name: Charles Lincoln Neal III</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">54:12 we will go on tour if there’s enough people to see them and they can get paid</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">54:25 "can Link play guitar?" Link - "If I have to."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">54:31 software: CamTwist</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">54:40 "What are the lyrics for the red and white song?"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">54:50 “What inspired you guys?” Link - Robert Rodriguez's book, “Rebel Without a Crew” (“El Mariachi” film)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">55:45 Rhett - "I think we, ultimately, that we are a slave to creating things, that we can't stop and we have to do it."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">55:58 when Link and Rhett met - 1st grade in Ms Locklear's class</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">56:06 Rhett’s height - 6’7”, Link - 6’0”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">56:15 somone gave them idea for Bluetooth Cyborg song (“Bluetooth Headset Cyborgs”), no credit given because of DotComedy</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">56:44 Rhett beat The Legend of Zelda game, Link has not</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">57:26 "do you guys ever have arguments or fights?"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">57:44 "advice for husbands", Rhett - "If you think that she wants you to do it, the answer is 'yes'." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">58:23 "how many live shows are you planning on doing?" Link - an infinite number</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span class="font-size-2">59:17 “why are you doing this?”, Rhett - "Link and I don't have day jobs. You are looking at our day job right now...", goals</span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-8956ddfd-2344-2e2a-7839-1a7ea95ad138" class="font-size-2">1:01:18 Link dancing to end the show, song playing: "What a Fool Believes" by The Doobie Brothers</span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span class="font-size-2">completed by Heather S. (YogaGhost), Mar 31 2017</span></p>My "Rhett & Link's Buddy System" (Season 1) Review! (May contain spoilers)tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-12-01:2452419:BlogPost:22427382016-12-01T04:30:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p>Nov 13 2016</p>
<p>I've been watching "Rhett & Link's Buddy System" and I really love it! I've decided to post my own review here on my blog. (This is just one opinion.) I've already seen the first 5 episodes, so I'll put those down now and come back and edit in & add the next episodes reviews as I watch them or when I get the chance. This is like a play-by-play of my thoughts, including some after-thoughts, as the episode plays, so you can watch the episode and read along if it…</p>
<p>Nov 13 2016</p>
<p>I've been watching "Rhett & Link's Buddy System" and I really love it! I've decided to post my own review here on my blog. (This is just one opinion.) I've already seen the first 5 episodes, so I'll put those down now and come back and edit in & add the next episodes reviews as I watch them or when I get the chance. This is like a play-by-play of my thoughts, including some after-thoughts, as the episode plays, so you can watch the episode and read along if it helps. May contain spoilers if you haven't seen the episodes yet. If anything's confusing, please let me know and I'll do my best to explain my thought at that time. Thank you, Rhett and Link, for creating a very funny, entertaining, and unique series! </p>
<p>(typed on Pages, copied & pasted) </p>
<p></p>
<p><span>My favorite things in Buddy System! (as I watch & after several rewatches)</span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span>Ep 1</span></p>
<ol>
<li><span>The opening (the hype & excitement as I watch every second!). Love the GMM episode references! </span></li>
<li><span>The background music in scenes, very effective and applied well </span></li>
<li><span>Link grabbing his own glasses from the box</span></li>
<li><span>Seeing the crew members! </span></li>
<li><span>Whether intentional or not, mini studio tour! (thank you!) </span></li>
<li><span>Link’s improv moment of “sometimes when I freshen my mocha, I live a little!” </span></li>
<li><span>The title card! Super cool art & music! I thought of Charlie Chaplin. </span></li>
<li><span>Link’s climbing skills! </span></li>
<li><span>Are you both wearing Levi jeans? </span></li>
<li><span>Unison dialogue</span></li>
<li><span>The dialogue timing between Rhett & Link is smooth and perfect</span></li>
<li><span>The transition from scene to song is very smooth and exciting!</span></li>
<li><span>I really admire the unique, creative aspects of So Dang Dark. It’s very differerent than what you usually do and I love that!</span></li>
<li><span>Clever writing. Many were reminded of Thoughtful Guy, I can see that, but SDD stands on its own</span></li>
<li><span>The soundtrack is amazing. I’m addicted to it blasting in my car. </span></li>
<li><span>I’m left wanting more song. That’s a good thing. </span></li>
<li><span>“Bath salts!” haha! & those silly noises! </span></li>
<li><span>Thanks for providing captions with the videos. They’re very helpful in some instances</span></li>
<li><span>Page’s electricity lesson, haha!</span></li>
<li><span>The dynamic between you guys and Page is wonderful & very entertaining</span></li>
<li><span>Shout-out to Crabtree Mall in Raleigh! </span></li>
<li><span>The Trent-gynocologist joke is so weird, it’s been an interesting discussion amongst the mythical beasts. </span></li>
<li><span>Page’s timing saying he does magic</span></li>
<li><span>I love the instrumental versions of the songs! The music producers did a great job! </span></li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p><span>Ep 2 (my favorite episode) </span></p>
<ol>
<li><span>I got YouTube Red the night of your live stream & watched Ep 2 for the first time with you guys talking about it! Thanks for doing that! </span></li>
<li><span>Page’s narration at the beginning. I love that. Gives me an Arrested Development vibe and I loved that show!</span></li>
<li><span>Your office! I love seeing it.</span></li>
<li><span>Leslie is GREAT! </span></li>
<li><span>“Listen here, little britches.” HAHA! </span></li>
<li><span>Rhett’s “Jungle Book” mini-song. I laugh EVERY TIME I see that. It’s hilarious! </span></li>
<li><span>I love the dialogue play & timing between R&L in this episode. </span></li>
<li><span>Marsonius. The scene is so odd. I love that it’s not really explained or what that light thing is! </span></li>
<li><span>*Added in Nov 29: I watched a Kast last night where Link talked about the breadbasket area. I wonder if that's something that Link has always called that area and it's now a running joke in life. That's funny!</span></li>
<li><span>I also noticed the lighting making it look like both of you were missing a tooth. I didn’t like that either, like Link said in the live stream. </span></li>
<li><span>The dramatic music</span></li>
<li><span>The dressing room scene! I love the writing there!</span></li>
<li><span>The white board in the background with all the writing on it. That’s pretty cool! </span></li>
<li><span>*I always think about Link's line, "...and I made my way to my locker for my second deodorant application of the day", when I actually apply a second application of deodorant in my day. :) </span></li>
<li><span>I remember seeing the Snapchats for the "secret passage." I'm so happy to see this come to life & find out where it goes! </span></li>
<li><span>I love the Exercise Bike song & video! It’s so much fun & unique! </span></li>
<li><span>You guys’ hair looks great down like that! The dancing, whistling, the sports jokes, Link as a scientist, the expressions, perfect. </span></li>
<li><span>I love the way this song was written. It’s so good! (*and catchy and fun to sing along!) Video production: 10/10! </span></li>
<li><span>Maroon/burgundy colorblind joke.</span></li>
<li><span>Bike scrapbook joke. I’d love to see a ‘DVD bonus feature’-similar thing showing that later. </span></li>
<li><span>That inspector gadget arm is hilarious! I honestly didn’t know that’s what it was even though I used to watch that show when I was younger. But now, it’s even more funny when I see it. </span></li>
<li><span>Overall, Ep 2 is my favorite because of all these reasons above and the episode felt like it flowed really smoothly. </span></li>
<li><span>I really wish the comments weren’t disabled on the videos so we can leave comments like this on them and give you proper feedback. </span></li>
<li><span>VERY thankful you guys did the live stream so we could hear your process, experience, and insight in the episodes! It helps me appreciate the show and your work so much more!</span></li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p><span>Ep 3</span></p>
<ol>
<li><span>I wonder if this is like real things you talk about in a car or similar situations…</span></li>
<li><span>Rhett pooping in the owner’s car, haha.</span></li>
<li><span>George is great to watch and very funny!</span></li>
<li><span>All the social media names, haha! </span></li>
<li><span>Wow, the PROM! That whole section is amazing! I was speechless watching. Props to wardrobe, set design, and makeup!</span></li>
<li><span>Exaggerated southern accents! (normal where I live in the south, of course, but you guys sounded great!) </span></li>
<li><span>I legit screamed at home when I saw Rhett for the first time like that. (don’t worry, good excited scream!) Rhett, that is commitment to your craft right there. Props to you! </span></li>
<li><span>You guys can’t look bad no matter how you’re dressed or what you do with your hairstyles, but I really am glad you guys look the way you do now. </span></li>
<li><span>The whole dialogue in the prom scene is awesome. I got caught up in it & felt it when Rhett was angry. </span></li>
<li><span>That sounded like Eddie off camera! The other guy sounded familar too, but I can’t place him.</span></li>
<li><span>“my home skillet, my DAWG!” LOL! </span></li>
<li><span>Maroon/burgundy colorblind joke returns, haha</span></li>
<li><span>“That was wack!” “Linky-poo out!” haha! </span></li>
<li><span>Page “Actually, I do NOT know what to do because we didn’t discuss this beforehand…” LOL I love that! </span></li>
<li><span>Totally reminded me of a time I got really mad at my best friend in middle school and was so mad, I cursed at her and got in trouble. </span></li>
<li><span>*Dec 1: "Johnny JaScruzzi." A play on words? Jacuzzi? ;)</span></li>
<li><span>*I thought of "The Buffet Song." </span></li>
<li><span>The way Aimee says “potatoes.” I honestly got more excited to see how evil she could be. She reminds me of Cruella De Vil! Her evil laugh is great!</span></li>
<li><span>Both versions of the BFF video is awesome. Especially the 90s boy band throwbacks. That was so me and best friend back in the day, I instantly got those vibes!</span></li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p><span>Ep 4 </span></p>
<ol>
<li><span>I legitimately almost got confused if Buddy System was real and actually happening while watching actual GMM that week! :)</span></li>
<li><span>I called the BrellLyfe number and was so happy it was a real message! Later, a friend of mine found the website & YouTube channel! That’s so funny! Love it! </span></li>
<li><span>Link: “By the way, I love that analogy” Me too! </span></li>
<li><span>The “Safe distance” visual is really cool! </span></li>
<li><span>Link pretending to tie his skates</span></li>
<li><span>“Fresh blades, homeslice.” </span></li>
<li><span>Tobias Jelinek & Molly Shannon on the same screen as Rhett and Link. That’s amazing! </span></li>
<li><span>I honestly didn’t like the cursing in the episode, I know Rhett said what he said in the previous one, but I got that context. </span></li>
<li><span>That was pretty awesome that the YouTubers got involved in the show! Made it feel more real and more fun! They did a good job! I watch Philip DeFranco and some of Hank & seeing him was more surreal for me. </span></li>
<li><span>I love the character of Dylan! </span></li>
<li><span>Solo singing lead-in to the video! Cool!</span></li>
<li><span>I love the song, Roller Unity! It’s very fun to sing in the car and I’m so impressed with you guys’ singing ability in it! </span></li>
<li><span>The music video is so fun! I love your expressions! </span></li>
<li><span>Link throwing the tube at the ice skaters is so funny! I laugh every time at that, too! </span></li>
<li><span>Very clever to switch the clothes around </span></li>
<li><span>Did Rhett almost fall? Op!</span></li>
<li><span>The Trent-gynocologist joke returns. </span></li>
<li><span>The expression after “we could eat pancakes” XD </span></li>
<li><span>Still loving the instrumental versions!</span></li>
<li><span>I felt like that was an improv’d scene. I love it! </span></li>
<li><span>These episodes go by really fast! </span></li>
<li><span>I’ve gotten in the habit of watching each newest episode at least 2 or 3 times the same day they’re released to take it all in and then again sometime over the weekend before the new one so I keep it refreshed in my mind! </span></li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p><span>Ep 5 </span></p>
<ol>
<li><span>Dylan. :)</span></li>
<li><span>“You sure that’s not a vampire?” and that look! haha! </span></li>
<li><span>“I am not on a superfood diet.” - Page</span></li>
<li><span>Is that Stranger Things music in the background? lol. Probably not, but I really like it. *I recommended to friends that they listen to the episodes with headphones so they can hear everything. </span></li>
<li><span>I love focusing on other actors from time to time. </span></li>
<li><span>I love Maxwell’s character so much. </span></li>
<li><span>Jenna Bryant is so good in this episode! </span></li>
<li><span>Amazing to see Chris Parnell in this, too. It’s so crazy awesome that you worked with so many great people!</span></li>
<li><span>The vampire/not vampire dialogue by Chris Parnell. lol </span></li>
<li><span>LOVE the video for Power Nap! (I don’t like a few lines, but it’s catchy and funny.) I know the album by heart by now, so I was very excited to see this one. </span></li>
<li><span>Nice Star Wars reference in the song! :) </span></li>
<li><span>I love the bed cars & expressions! I slowed down the video by frame so I didn’t miss anything. </span></li>
<li><span>Seriously, a power nap has really saved me in the last couple of months sometimes! Your motto is the truth! </span></li>
<li><span>I think all the music is produced very well. As a former music student, I have that music ear so the intricate layers in the mix, the driving rhythms, harmonies and melodies really speak to me. </span></li>
<li><span>Lewis & Clark reference. Nice!</span></li>
<li><span>“Let’s talk about that.” </span></li>
<li><span>Ooo, a secret!! </span></li>
<li><span>“I got a hard out at 1am.” I remember in a GMM & other content, Link mentioned that phrase was like some of the things he used to say when he worked as an engineer. Nice callback to that! </span></li>
<li><span>I think this one is my 2nd favorite episode so far. So many funny lines and great performances by the actors! I also like that I’m having to do a bit of research to know who some of the actors are, like Adam Gregor and Ivan Allen. Very cool. </span></li>
<li><span>I love how each episode brings something new to the table and we, the viewer, are always caught off guard by something/surprised. I love that we can’t predict this show and where it’s going. I’m very happy you guys have made this and asked for our feedback because it’s obvious you really care about it. That’s awesome. You guys are working with some incredible people. Keep feeding that creative bug! </span></li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p><span>Ep 6 (Nov 16) (2nd favorite episode) </span></p>
<ol>
<li><span>That outdoor location is beautiful and I thought it was perfect for your scenes! </span></li>
<li><span>GMM episode callback to selling body parts on the Black Market! I love that episode! (I started watching in Season 8, and I remember that week was when I started watching every day!)</span></li>
<li><span>Of course an insanely detailed hypothetical situation. I like that. </span></li>
<li><span>“Tough Decisions”, not my favorite song on the soundtrack, but I was curious how it was going to be shown in video. You guys dressed as teachers reminded me of the SETI song & other old videos where you dressed like that (very nice, btw). The overhead projector reminds me of ASAP science and the videos you guys have made as a nod to them, as well as back in school when our classes would use projectors and old televisions. Nice!</span></li>
<li><span>I’m not sure if I can tell but if there’s a certain filter on the screen for Tough Decisions, I really like it.</span></li>
<li><span>“Peder.” What an oddball. I like him! Link, you play him so well! Props again to costume/wardrobe & makeup. I would love to know how the dorts were made!</span></li>
<li><span>Is that a Sprite can? lol *Dec 4: CORRECTION! @AceM0NKY on Twitter pointed out it's the "Gorillergy" can from the "My Exercise Bike" video! </span></li>
<li><span>Not really suprised Link drank from Clarity Springs. :) </span></li>
<li><span>Fetty Wap reference. lol. I remember when Link mentioned “Trap Queen” in a GMMom skit on GMM last year. </span></li>
<li><span>Peder crying! Hilarious! XD </span></li>
<li><span>THE BLUE VEST IS BACK! :D </span></li>
<li><span>Rhett’s bike is funny! “player”, “shorty." Rhett, you've always had a great "old man" impersonation voice. </span></li>
<li><span>I'm guessing the bike was on a pully or something when filmed outside, or it was partially filmed inside and you guys created shots of Link riding the bike and set those shots into the outside footage. Ah, the magic of film! </span></li>
<li><span>Rhett’s creepy turn around!</span></li>
<li><span>Oh, poor real Link curled on the ground, having the hallucination! </span></li>
<li><span>“Because in your imagination, necks and chests get cold, but arms don’t!” GMM discussion reference. I remember that! </span></li>
<li><span>CRISPEE TOWNE reference! YAY! “Every lemon wedge personally kissed by the Fry Daddies!” I love every mention of Crispee Towne. I’ll never forget it! (Please one day, make that a real thing!) </span></li>
<li><span>A white gourd! Lol</span></li>
<li><span>“Exercise Bike” lyrics reference. “Speed Seven.” “Sev-“ “-ven! What is wrong with you?” lol</span></li>
<li><span>“Buzzfeed would win.” NICE. </span></li>
<li><span>More GMM episode references. </span></li>
<li><span>Rhett talking about what GMM is really about. Awww. That was a nice moment. :) We really do enjoy watching your videos, not just GMM. You guys just have so much fun, it’s contagious and it keeps many of us smiling each day. We are so thankful and we are so happy you enjoy your art. </span></li>
<li><span>That was such a good episode! I feel really happy. </span></li>
<li><span>I’m guessing “If I Had Another Me” will be the next song, and I already love it on the album. You guys said learning all the parts was like learning another language. Music is definitely a language on its own. I love listening to the song in the car and figuring out all the harmonies. You both have an incredible range and I’m glad you tried something challenging! Looking forward to next week! </span></li>
<li><span>I watched this episode again Friday to sink it all in again and have determined that it's my 2nd favorite episode so far. I thought the dialogue/writing was perfect in this episode!</span></li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p><span>Ep 7 (Nov 23) </span></p>
<ol>
<li><span>I really like that “previously..” intro music. </span></li>
<li><span>I’m still not over the vests and scarfs. I kinda maybe might want a vest for Christmas? lol</span></li>
<li><span>The clones! Link clone lip reading Rhett's lines. Also, I didn't notice it the first time, but the second time I watched, I noticed the Youtube playback bar at the bottom of the screen indicating that they were making a video.</span></li>
<li><span>Haha, the clones taking over the office. Callback to many GMMs where they discussed clones and the “BFF” Sketchtober sketch. </span></li>
<li><span>That background music of the clones in the office is fun!</span></li>
<li><span>A tuner! Here we go! </span></li>
<li><span>Ew. Uh, that particular scene was really gross to me. I didn’t care much for that. </span></li>
<li><span>Well, that got dark FAST! Wow. I don’t want to mess with you guys! lol *Note to self: Do not make Rhett & Link clones. :) </span></li>
<li><span>I love "If I Had Another Me" for the harmonies and singing talent you guys have. Link's lower harmony is just under the lowest part of my range. *Also, this song really makes me want to write up a musical analysis of it. That's how much I love it! </span></li>
<li><span>The assistant (Jenna) is still good at staring. :) </span></li>
<li><span>How does Page know about the hallucination barrier? </span></li>
<li><span>Over-exaggerated invented background stories! I love it! </span></li>
<li><span>The hair drying covering up the secret. Nice. Really though, you can’t hear anything with those things going! and why did they tell George their secret?! So many questions in this </span>episode! </li>
<li>Rhett never misses an opportunity to thrust! lol. His exaggerated accent is too perfect! </li>
<li><span>Leslie is SO good as Aimee! She gets angry so well! It’s fun to watch her!</span></li>
<li><span>Why did Link have to tell Aimee what they were doing and tell her that he and Rhett were disguised?! Come on, now! </span></li>
<li><span>Aha! The actual song in the end credits. I was wondering how this was going to be done. </span></li>
<li><span>Overall, pretty good episode. Not too crazy about it. It was definitely different from the others, definitely had awkward, cringy and odd informercials, which were done well. I just didn’t laugh as much as some of the other episodes. </span></li>
<li>We can finally watch all the music videos of the soundtrack in order!! Yay! (And I did that Thanksgiving morning!) The only thing I really wanted to see was the rap part in the BFF song in its music video.</li>
<li>*Added Nov 30: At first few times watching, I didn’t notice this at first, but after watching the last episode and going back, is Pigeon Blood’s backstory a play on Link’s story about his broken pelvis? If so, that’s pretty cool that you integrated it into the show! And is that why Link can still move around so well? That extra 13-17 degree increased range of motion? lol</li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p><span>Ep 8 (I’ve replayed it a few times to catch everything) (Nov 30)</span></p>
<ol>
<li><span>Wow, the last episode. I’m not ready!</span></li>
<li><span>The warehouse! (like in all the social media photos we saw this summer!) I’m excited!</span></li>
<li><span>How did they get dressed in their suits against their will? </span></li>
<li><span>Whoa. That “Mirror Punch Bowl” actually looks really awesome! </span></li>
<li><span>Live infomercials! lol </span></li>
<li><span>I enjoyed Leslie’s expressions while looking at Page.</span></li>
<li><span>Link’s expression when the top hat was set on his head. Link, you did such a great job acting mind-controlled. </span></li>
<li><span>“Rhettie-poo”, “Don’t call the naughty boy, Rhettie-poo.” Those lines are absolutely hilarious! </span></li>
<li><span>Rhett’s mixture of excitement for Aimee’s products plus his jealousy and trying to prevent his death is genius.</span></li>
<li><span>I really enjoyed the pacing and dialogue when Aimee pulled out the Tote Stab, during the lines “This is the purse for the discriminating lady….” It was smooth and delicate, but also threatening! </span></li>
<li><span>I felt so nervous for Rhett in this situation!</span></li>
<li><span>I noticed all the "presenting" moves the magician's assistant made when doing things. "Lassie" similarity. </span></li>
<li><span>George. On a forklift. Yeah, that’ll get ‘em. </span></li>
<li><span>“Hun-Bun.” “My business is killing party pooping naughty boys.” LOL! </span></li>
<li><span>How is Page sleeping through all this? </span></li>
<li><span>Rollersladers. That’s actually pretty good! </span></li>
<li><span>PEDER!!! YAY!!! So happy for him!! I laughed so much there! </span></li>
<li><span>Oh no, not the emotions during the montage! Now I know how to save my best friend. :) </span></li>
<li><span>“Telescope” </span></li>
<li><span>Rhett shushing. </span></li>
<li><span>The background music here is excellent! </span></li>
<li><span>The magician’s assistant saves the day! :) ************************** (applause) </span></li>
<li><span>I noticed when untying Rhett, Link says "Sorry, Linky-poo almost killed you." in the show, but the captions say, "Sorry, Link, if I almost killed you." </span></li>
<li><span>THE RAP PART! YAY! I was wondering if we were going to see that part in the show or a music video! I like that verse! </span></li>
<li><span>I guess I’ve seen so many shows, I was waiting to see if Aimee would wake back up and there would be some terrible twist ending! Glad there wasn’t!</span></li>
<li><span>The famous prom pose! </span></li>
<li><span>THE ENDING WAS VERY SURPRISING!!! (when you got back to the GMM desk). And you started the show intro like it was normal. Oh man, hearing that GMM music felt like home. I love how that was done! And how leaving the GMM episode trying to tell that whole story is left up to the imagination! For now...? :) </span></li>
<li><span>So, all of that happened over the course of a weekend? WOW! That’s one big adventure! I like how the ending made me go back and watch the beginning of “Tucked Up”! </span></li>
<li><span>I went back and tried to figure out the timeline of when everything happened. The only thing I can’t figure is the timeline for Sunday if you went back to GMM on Monday. In Ep 7, the clock in Page’s security guard office says that’s it’s almost 8. I’m assuming that you went out really early to “soul search” and when you dismember the clones, it’s getting dark, so it’s 8pm. But, Rhett’s phone says “3:47 pm” when he texts that the plan has been comprised and the clock in Page’s office says it’s 9:45, but it’s light out. In Ep 8, you start out in Aimee’s warehouse and it’s light out. UNLESS... you film GMM out of order throughout the week and you were actually in the warehouse on Monday afternoon because you were knocked out, dressed, and were taken to the warehouse while wearing blindfolds on Sunday night. :) </span></li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p><span>Wow, guys. Even though I typed this review, it's still pretty difficult to adequately express how awesome Buddy System is. It's like a good book or movie. I can tell that everything was written with thought and care. You guys obviously care about it so much since you kept asking us what we thought, and you were excited every time you mentioned the show in an interview and on GMM. </span></p>
<p><span>I thought the writing was very clever and so creative. The production value, A+, from my perspective. I have two music degrees, so of course, I loved EVERYTHING about the music: background music in the scenes and the soundtrack itself. (I thanked the music production teamed you worked with through Twitter last week.) I think my favorite songs on the album, by themselves but also as music videos, are "So Dang Dark", "My Exercise Bike", and "Roller Unity." "Power Nap" follows closely, visually. </span></p>
<p><span>The cast was amazing, and it was fantastic to see so many big names working with you! I want to express thanks to all those names in the credits for helping you guys make Buddy System. The story was constantly surprising. I never knew what to expect. The visuals were very creative and supportive of the story or song. I really love behind the scenes stuff, so I'm </span>so happy you guys shared that! </p>
<p>You guys have our support to keep feeding your creative bugs, from small screen to large. You're constantly surprising us with your talents. I feel like "thank you" isn't a strong enough phrase, but I am so thankful and grateful for everything you guys have made for internetainment. What a ride! </p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 968-Currenttag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-10-17:2452419:BlogPost:22912722016-10-17T01:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"><span>(Oct 16 2016)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-520</a>, …</strong></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>(Oct 16 2016)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-520</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 521-666</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 667-813</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 814-967</a></strong></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 968: L “Hello, cheeky baby!” “He’s my favorite person right now. Paul. Call me on twitter.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “My hobby is to zero in on what a hobby is.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “And yeah, my shirt’s too tight. I probably won’t wear it again.” R “My hobby is cutting Link out of his shirts after every show.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 969: R “If you want, you can also just read 1, 2, and 3 just by sounding out the letters.” L “E, I, C, U, P, P.” R “No, you don’t. I don’t let you watch.” L “Like I’ve been asking.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Who needs letters when you have a dookie emoji?” “If I just pretend like I’m seeing things sharply, I will!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Do my bidding, humans of the earths. I am here to farm your cities.” R “You think this is what aliens are gonna be like?” L “Yeah, it’s only in the eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 970: L “Release the noodle kraken!” "Plugs are a sinker." “Good song, good soup, good times.” "Get well one bite at a time!" “I don’t like to just bite a whole chicken. That’s not becoming of a man.” “Happy man, happy hands.” “My life flashed before my eyes and it looked like chicken.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both (singing) “I need a chicken noodle soup bath, a chicken noodle soup bath. Just do the math. Sick plus chicken soup equals a chicken noodle soup bath.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It's warm. Let's get in." R "I peed on myself 'cause you played the mouth trumpet." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d1c7-468a-e38f-decc81ffc915">R “What are the chances that I stepped on the chicken?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 971: L “This might ruint cereal for me! I don’t wanna do that!” R “I don’t think that’s possible.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Welcome to Sushi Land. I’m the captain. Everything will be okay if you just listen.” “Roll, roll, roll your boat. Right to Graceland.” “Trees is plants. Plants is vegetables. Vegetables is food!” “It’s just a spider! I’m a human! I eat animals!” “Spiders got seeds!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You know what, gravy, I am sorry that I forgot about you for a second.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “In what kind of apocalyptic world do you intend to live in where you’re gonna be eating sushi with toilet paper encased in rice, seaweed, more toilet paper and what appears to be twigs?” R “That’s shavings from the cardboard roll!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d31e-122f-8c9c-b7aac1b1e44a">Both: “Spiders is animals, animals is pigs, pigs is bacon.” R “Spiders is bacon.” Both “Spiders is animals, animals is meat, meat is pig, pig is bacon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 972: R “Don’t turn a party into a farty unless you’re leaving.” L “ Yes! Don’t turn a party into a farty, parenthetically, unless you’re exiting, leaving. Put that on a t-shirt!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Our first song that we wrote was called ‘Farting Girl’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 973: R “What are the chances that we get to see the owner interact with the Dillie?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I could watch this forever.” L “We could watch this forever, but I think that’s another channel and it’s called, ‘Rhett and Link watch Dillie cam dot com.’” R “I’ll be back, Dillie! I will be back!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...we don’t want to put things in too much perspective.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “When you make a decision to put up a webcam in your front yard, it adds a sense of expectation which adds a sense of interest to your life.” “...would you ever have the idea to put Hulk in a convertible in your front yard if you didn’t have a webcam?” “This is a good dad!” “Would you rather be completely mentally healthy or have an interesting life?” “I’m just saying that the webcam makes life interesting and it doesn’t matter what happens to your family.” “Adoptive parents are parents. Put that on a bumper sticker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d397-04c4-bbb7-5b7a9a718aa8">L “That’s how you determine if you should adopt a cat. If the tail stays up, take it home. If the tail goes down,” R “Walk out slowly.” L “drop it down.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 974: L “I scale all things to human.” “That’s not the first time I’ve had that experience. Somebody wheels out some dog food. I’m like, ‘Mhm!’” “I like your boots. Can I carry your saddle?” “Remember, outward appearances are not a reliable indicator of true character.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...and they had an agreement as kids and they said, if we’re not shaking it up by the time we’re adults, that’s where the shack comes in, the man says, I’m turning to ducks.” L “For what?” R “I mean, you know. Companionship.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I give you a B minus because you were sexist.” R “Okay, I apologize for that. I wasn’t being sexist, I was assuming they were being sexist. Sorry.” L “Taken. Accepted.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Welcome to my chamber. I’m the oily one. I’ll give ya a knee to the face and a kiss to the mouth.” “We’re good at this, man. We found our calling.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d3d9-9bb1-8c2d-8a81e8c5ebfb"><span>R "I'm not a street fighter, I'm a street lover. Can we play street lover?" L “Next week, Rhett. Next week.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 975: L “Sometimes if I buy a lot of products, I get sweaty!” “It’s tickling my wickle!” “You get to be the Bellow Fellow!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is the bi-product of two teenagers making out behind a garage or something.” “As a wood lover, I’m kinda a little bit ashamed of myself that I needed a hint for that.” "It's kind of a nice smell. We have a tobacco flavored candle in our in our room, in our office, that I call our room!"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d3ed-def3-05a2-95f38eb0ab7b"><span>L “Mrs. Wacos used to put my nose in the corner.” R “What?” L “In history class.” R “She never did that to me!” L “Well, you weren’t punished. Good for you!” R “I can say all 100 counties in North Carolina. Pasquotank.” L “Ugh, this stanks. This pasquostanks!”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 976: R “I miss fried chicken, man. We don’t eat it enough! The world needs more fried chicken!” “This is nirvana for me. Blindfolded with just new chicken legs just coming in and I just put my lips all over ‘em, put my face on ‘em and then I eat ‘em!” “I wanna eat it with my eyes!” “I’m a chicken loser!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wanna put my whole body on this!” L “You want a chicken skin bed spread?” R “I want a chicken skin bed spread! Somebody make-we should make that!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “All I know is that I’m one happy man right now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, you’re crowned the chicken king!” L “Sing a song to me.” R (singing) “He is the chicken king. He’s like Levar Burton, but he uses chicken to see. (stops singing) This is the best song I’ve ever come up with!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Every birthday, I got a bucket of extra crispy KFC. That was my tradition. And I did that probably from age 6 to age 12...” “Ralph’s chicken. I stand by Ralph. I will stand by Ralph all day.” “I wanna shake the person’s hand that fried that chicken.” “I’m actually a all-bird man. That’s why I wore my bird shirt today to shout-out to all parts of all birds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m a dark man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 977: R “Keep that birdie in your pockets, kids.” “Baby lips might be a good thing to keep, though…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “On the Neal side of my family, as a kid, we would kiss each other on the lips. But on the Pate(?) side of the family, my mom’s side of the family, we wouldn’t kiss on the lips.” R “So you got the herpes from the Neal’s.” L “That’s a good point, but no. That came from my mom’s side.” R “Really?” L “Yeah.” R “Oh, they knew they had herpes and so they-” L “That’s what it was! You put it together!” R “Mystery solved!” L “And I gave it to my dad’s side of the family!” R “Oh, man. You’re patient zero, Link!” L “Of the Neal Herpes outbreak!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d597-c602-8b70-468fe2cecf8b"><span>R “That’s freaking me out!” L “That’s Chase’s face inside Lincoln on a penny!” R “Whoa! That’s the best thing ever, guys!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 978: R (singing->) “Beans! You know what I mean. It’s beans! Sometimes they come in strings and sometimes they’re green and sometimes they’re round. Even when the music stops, you eat them out of the ground! Beans!” “Go to the Boys Home.” “Hi. My name is Bartholomew. I spend a lot of time alone. You should join me sometime because I wear sweatpants.” “But you should come and spend some time with me on my sofa.” “I have a pair for you. You should wear them and together we will be sweatpant buddies. It’ll be the best time of both of our lives.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-78ec-e399-0742-654d317a08f9">L "One hour with me, two hours with me, three hours divided by love equals rainbows." "You know how the kids do 'homework'.''</span> </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 979: R “It’s never a bad time for a Green Day shout out. That’s what i’ve learned in life!” L “As a matter of fact, I love Green Day! Congratulations on your new album, Green Day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0cd-34ac-327f-b6e19a3a832a">L “I know that Snapchat's go away after a while, unless they’re ours and then someone puts them on YouTube immediately. Thanks for that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d598-07e6-a27a-b268c6ae7201"><span>GMM 980: R “Don’t just be riding the wave, be pushing the water!” L “I’m flattered that you think I can push the water!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 981: L “This is a flag!” R “A flag of what?” L “A country, you dork!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “In some strange way you seem so reasonable right now.” L “It’s strange for me to ever seem reasonable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Turns out that’s what a snake is! Just more neck!” L “All neck, all the time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We make a good team! We should do the teammate thing more often.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Why you gotta be so elk-centric?” R “I’m sorry I’m biased towards elk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t get canned. That’s gonna be my motto in the apocalypse.” “As you always know, eating the brain of an animal is an opportunity to consume its thoughts.” “The tongue cannot sense thoughts. Learned that a long time ago.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0be-1911-0ae7-0ee55bce3517">“But I really like kissing and I’m here to say that I’m not going to stand for this. I mean, look at these lips. Look at ‘em. You can’t deny the power of this! And look at this tongue!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0ba-0f52-2ef6-1a872a44cae6">R “It just looks like thoughts.” L “I have a thought. It’s not to eat this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d598-438d-e8ab-f7032f5cb3ac"><span>GMM 982: R “Hey, man! Precision is important in this game! Can you not tell by the way I’m dressed?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 983: Grace “Mamrie, you look like you just got back from the game show, ‘Survivor.’” L “You did not win.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How did you know that?” Hannah “I grew up around a lot of dirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Mrs. Butterworths. She tastes better when she’s on you.” “We’re the biggest losers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You look like a knight!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Grace “This is not good for any of us!” Mamrie “It’s in my brain! You look like Frankenstein now!” L “Ugh! Me have potting soil!” Mamrie “Here, make sure you can see how dumb you look.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Okay, I want to quickly explain the reason that all of you guys are still wearing what you wore and I am in something different is because I discovered very soon after I got out there to hose off a little bit, that I was having an allergic reaction to syrup! I’ve been eating syrup all my life!” Mamrie “Yeah, but not on the outside!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Hannah “It was a strong spoon though, it was more like two ladles just holding each other.” L “We ladled each other.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Grace “Are you auditioning for our next movie?” L “I’ma be the ‘eat it’ guy! Eat it! Please put me in your movie. I’ll ladle anyone.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 984: L “I’d live in a ranch with some horses, miniature!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When you wear the right Victorian garb, it’s called, approprian.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Her dress has feelings.” R “It’s just like those Jnco jeans that we used to wear. You couldn’t sneak up on us ‘cause you would touch us from, like, four feet away!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “That shirt really looks like something a doctor would wear.” R “Doctors these days, they don’t dress up anymore. Have you been to the doctor recently? Last time I went to a doctor, he had a tank top on.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Rhett, don’t lie to me about tank tops and doctors. It either happened or it didn’t. Don’t lie about it.” R “He calls himself, ‘the Tanktopter.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 985: L “Tastes like alcohol-infused cheetos.” “Bring a shoe shiner on every murder adventure.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I know it doesn’t seem like a lot is going on, but all hell is breaking loose for little microorganisms right now. They are experiencing the worst day of their lives right now and I wish that we could-” L “It’s like a warzone!” R “capture that with some-you know what, we’ve added side effects now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think I’ve been eating bacteria all over my food!” L “Alive bacteria. Now, you’re eating dead bacteria. It’s different.” R “And it was fun! That’s the thing.” L “We had so much fun.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Who left my bucket of blood by the door?” R “Murder blood!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “If I could be a gorilla, I would!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Jen (reading) “From Christopher Sheeran, he says, ‘How can I make it look like I cleaned the house without actually cleaning?” L “That goes against everything I believe in, first of all.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love cleaning.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 986: L “Lots of almond milk gonna be squeezed during the apocalypse.” “This apocalyptic Christmas, give yourself the gift of schmilk!” “They should have spelled chocolate with two K’s, too. They should have gone all the way, you know? ‘Khokolate.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I got rid of it. I washed it out.” L “Is that the technique?” R “Yeah, you gotta have a cup of water at all times.” L “We’re gonna have those in the apoc?” R “Don’t shorten, we have all, nothing but time in the apocalypse. You don’t need to come up with abbreviations.” L “I’m just trying to make friends with the apocalypse.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You wanna have, be a friend with a schmilk face.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d65d-e704-12dd-06690374de08"><span>R “This is Chrischmas time!” L “Chrischmas in the apocalypse.” R “Chrischmas in the apocalypse it’s time for schmilk.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 987: R “Sometimes, grandpa attacks!” “If you tie the tubes in London, the whole city shuts down. You tie the tubes in America, just one woman doesn’t have anymore babies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (singing, playing recorder)</p>
<p dir="ltr">“Let me tell you about a friend of mine.</p>
<p dir="ltr">His name is Rhett and he’s pretty cool.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sorry that didn’t rhyme but anyway.</p>
<p dir="ltr">He’ll be your friend too if you get in his way.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Look at his hair.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta nights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Gets it just rights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Look at his beard.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Glad that it’s back. It was awkward,</p>
<p dir="ltr">when it was gone.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spend a lotta nights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spend a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">He comes up with ideas,</p>
<p dir="ltr">that no one else could think about,</p>
<p dir="ltr">and then he tells ‘em to ya.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Says, ‘don’t take credit for my ideas,’</p>
<p dir="ltr">but I do anyway in lots of times.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Thank you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Switching it up.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But it sounds the same.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta nights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Doesn't’ ever rhyme on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You can climb on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Not really, that’s made weird.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Once upon a time,</p>
<p dir="ltr">I met Rhett in first grade.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">(slower song)</p>
<p dir="ltr">“Oh, Rhett, </p>
<p dir="ltr">you have been a friend to me</p>
<p dir="ltr">and even though I</p>
<p dir="ltr">have a hurt in my heart,</p>
<p dir="ltr">you stand by my side</p>
<p dir="ltr">and you pat me on the shoulder</p>
<p dir="ltr">when I have hurt in my heart.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta nights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Monkey bars climb on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bcae-174a-d618-ead868e1162f">Spends a lotta nights on it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>988: R “...we’re gonna call him ‘Phil,’ after Bill Murray’s character in ‘Groundhog Day’...If you haven’t seen that movie, what is wrong with you? You should watch it now.” L “Well, there was also a movie called, ‘Deja Vu,’ that starred Denzel Washington. Have you seen that?” R “Uh, yep, I have, but I don’t remember it.” L “But if I showed it to you again now, would you remember it?” R “That is a great question!” L “That would be deja vu!” R “Yes it would!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-dab5-d9e7-353d-96497608531e"><span>L “I don’t like to watch movies twice...but I get frustrated if I’m rewatching a movie. I’m like, I could be watching a movie I’ve never seen. Why am I watching this one again?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 989: R “I feel very pretty.” “I mean, I look beautiful. Look at that!” “Your bangs have to make a statement. Your bangs have to say, ‘I reach, I reach for the sky!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Bangs are supposed to go down.” R “No, they’re supposed to BANG!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc8e-662a-1619-95276137e560">L “Do i get extra points for cutting myself in the last round?” R “You cut your finger? Oh gosh, of course you did.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Alex "When in doubt, vas it up, huh?" "Put 'vas it up' on a t-shirt and sell it."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Gotta vas it up!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 990: R “What feels like a zomp today?” “Every sasquatch I’ve ever seen had pink socks on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Zomp!” L “Zomp it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You got zomped!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R (singing) “That’s not paint, that’s not paint. That’s water, that’s water!” L “That’s paint, that’s paint! Link hand got dirty!</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc80-3811-03c4-36d3cd416ab7">L “Hey, look. I’m like Finn from Star Wars!” R “You’ve already messed yourself up, man.” L “It was for a good joke about Star Wars!” R “It was great, it was great.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 991: R “I call the world, ‘baby.’ When something makes you call the world ‘baby,’ you know you struck gold.” “Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, ma’am. Yes to everyone.” “My mom says, ‘did you do a BM?’ She’ll call me today! She’ll say, ‘have you done your BM today?’ and I’m like, ‘not yet, momma. I’ll call you when I do. I’ll text you when I’m on the throne.’” “Chewing is a form of rubbing.” “You got a backwards mouth, man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Man, this is a diaritto! That’s what we should be calling this!” “I’m not your friend anymore.” “Just swallow a big packet of awful.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0ad-3c76-f4ae-0d7b010cf3b5"><span>R “It’s all stars!” L “We’re eating the stars.” R “Everything is stars! Everything is stars and that makes everything okay! You can eat anything because it’s all stars.” L “You’re an all-star.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 992: R "That sends the aliens away, though. You bring 'em in with Fran and you send them out with Yoko." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “We’re all being probed right now by invisible, wireless-” R “Right now! At all times!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s not your butthole, it’s your entire self. It’s the whole planet’s butthole is being probed constantly and everything that aliens want to know is being ascertained right now!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I like how you say, alien counter.” R “Alien counter. Yeah, you put ‘em together.” L “Come over to my house. We’ve just done some renovations. I have an amazing xquisite alien counter that we eat on.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d09c-a755-6a7a-3200b284ff2f"><span>R “I think, put that on a t-shirt: ‘We have an amazing xquisite alien counter. Welcome.’” L “That’s a tourist attraction, but we should open it.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 993: R “Every time I’ve ever gotten inside of a washing machine, I’ve had a singlet on.” L “Right, ‘cause that’s the best way to get a singlet clean is to stay in it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “By the time I was 30, I had a chin strap.” L “You looked great, Rhett!” R “And very poofy! Poofy hair!” L “Well, you were compensating for the bare cheeks.” “I meant your face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I don’t know if you knew it, but Mike has always been poised to skateboard behind us-” R “To confirm skateboarding facts, only! That’s one of the only things we let him do around here.” L “I think he can confirm all types of stuff.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “As we all know, if you want a good laughing story, go to hell!” “If you wanna get run over by a truckload of kids in a pickup, don’t go flareside.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc74-8ee4-1d6f-3cf6b0ddaa57">R “Grab him by the belt and shake his hand. That’s how you congratulate a man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 994: R “I just ate a banana later, earlier. I do that thing where I went into the future and ate...” "It's common knowledge that wool makes you itch and it also attracts all the ladies." “Have a Chilly Willy on me, Link! Literally, have one on me! There’s some on me and you can have one! This is a good color scheme for me. I look good in red, blue, and green.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc68-fdfb-299a-83794c435a6a">R “Man, this is what best friendship is all about! I mean how many friends do you have out there that you can have Honey Nut Cheerio hand cereal with?” L “Unapologetically.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "So wrong, it's right." R "Yeah, I mean, I know this is socially awkward for us and for you, but the thing I want you to know is that we feel great about this. Our hands don't itch-" L "I wonder if a banana would make it more awkward." R "No, no, no! Keep bananas out of this! Keep the bananas out of this!" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 995: R (reading) “‘Link, your face looks like a hummus hoagie.’” L “I’ve been told that before.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading) “‘Rhett’s so lame, I ship Link with Chase.’ Especially weird coming from me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (reading) “‘My last tennis match took place on Link’s forhead.’” “Put your freaking leg out there, Neal!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “There are no winners in this game except for Alex Trebek.” L “Who is Alex Trebek.” R “Colonial Penn, maybe.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 996: R “I gotta tell ya that the feel of the donut on my face affected me emotionally.” L “What?” R “Makes me cry, I loved everything about it…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I will say, this is a great day at the office!” “Being killed by Krispy Kreme on the internet is not a bad thing.” “My lanta, that’s a good donut!” “That is the best donut I’ve ever had in my life!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Krispy Kreme donuts receive you!” “I’m the donut king but I will let you into my court as long as you wipe that off your chin.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I've been wearing clean underwear pretty much everyday since I got a good, just a good internet paddling." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "The donut king will keep you for his entertainment. Dance, dance away. I do not approve." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 997: L “Also, back in the 1930s, they would wipe with corn cobs.” R “Oh, I’ve done that.” L “When you get done with your street corn, just send it south.” R “Well, you gotta let it dry. Don’t do it with wet corn.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading) “...or Larry King, Betty White, and Willie Nelson?” R “Oh, I’d be there for that!” L “That’d be a great party.” R “I’d line right up!” L (singing) “On the toilet again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-dab6-1a0a-eeaa-1627bbe712c7"><span>L “Clever girl! Clever girl, getting plunged!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 998: R “Love when we get to go to Florida! Love it!” L “Mhm-hmm. It’s so spicy down there!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc12-cd64-4b91-ea7c851495b8">R “Visit Florida, where when you wake up from a nightmare, you wake up into a nightmare!” "If you're starting a band in Florida right now, please, please, for my sake, call it 'Caning Gators.'" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Whenever you’re gonna sleepwalk in Florida, make sure you bring lights.” “Holy Toledo.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The Redwood Forest Foundation will plant ten Redwood trees in Northern California Redwood Forest as an enduring tribute to Rhett McLaughlin a loving gift from Link Neal, his friend, and the Good Mythical Crew, his employees. These trees will grow tall and strong like Rhett. They will forever be known as the ten Rhettwood trees.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I want all my trees chipped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 999: R “I’m not comfortable suggesting this, but I kinda feel like we’re gonna have to hit the deck for this one. I think we’re gonna have to lay down together.” L “Is Flavortown down there?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Can I take this opportunity to say, check out our new series, ‘Buddy System’.” R “Yeah, that’s right! It’s better than this!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This just in! Toenails are candy, especially mine! Beat ya to it. Eat my candy.” R “Um, I-I-I’m-just had, I don’t wanna spoil my dinner. I really don’t wanna spoil my dinner. I had-” L “It’s dinner candy.” R “I don’t-I-I, After dinner, I’ll definitely, maybe the little one after dinner.” L “What? We haven’t been close enough already today?” R “Well, we’ve been too close.” L “Exactly.” R “I’ve still got you on me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc14-385f-9255-9ef4008d0cd9">GMMore: R “So when we’re given the opportunity to make something on this scale, we jump at it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1000: L “I got that internet runner’s high!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-dab7-fe27-3a63-447d64ee171c"><span>R “If you have 1000 dollars, you can get 2227 Chicken McNuggets!” L “If you buy them in 10 pack.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L "...we want to make you guys feel special" R "Yes." L "because, obviously, we couldn't have made it to one thousand episodes without you, mythical beasts, watching and being, you know, a committed part of our community and, not just someone who watches, but a community member, and we do really appreciate that. So what we wanted to do is, we wanted to create something special that you could own to commemorate experiencing the one thousandth episode along with us-" R "And it's literally a token of our appreciation." L "A token, yeah." R "We were saying, we wanted to come up with a token of our appreciation-" L "And then we're like, 'why not a token?'" R "An actual freaking token." L "We have minted a coin to commemorate this, the one thousandth episode of GMM." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Kinda feels like the Home Shopping Network right now."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>R "...just like what we said on that first episode, when we made this show, we had you in mind. You know, we had been doing other types of content, music videos and sketches and that kind of thing," L "Commercials." R "but those weren't about a community. That was more about, 'just, hey, look, it's something that's funny.' And this show was much more having an ongoing conversation and this community has become much bigger than anything we ever anticipated and it means more than we ever thought. This started as a side project...and now, it's the main thing we're doing." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It really is an honor to be able to make this show, I mean, it really is! We have a lot of fun. We also, at the same time, we take it very seriously, but, and we do really feel connected to you guys, but seeing a video like that is extremely moving and it makes us very grateful." R "That's the kind of thing that can only come through in a video. We don't necessarily get, you know, your comments mean a lot, but when we see you guys in your setting, where you watch the show, saying those things, it means a lot." L "Yeah, so, thank you for that."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1001: L “Gluten is the glue that holds food together.” “I think soy sauce, alone, is an ill-fated adventure.” “...when in doubt, guess what Rhett didn’t.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We’re gonna need a bigger noodle.” “Man, I miss you, meatballs. I miss you so much. What happened?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I am going to be a politician after 60. I haven’t told you this.” L “I’ll drive the bus!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c434-f6aa-0930-38af949e2dc9">R “I love a good meatball, man. Man, I don't’ get enough meatballs. Something happened with me and meatballs.” L “Rhett needs more meatballs in his life!” R “I had, like, a breakup with meatballs and we never talked about it! We just drifted apart! How did that happen?” L “Well, my mom brings ‘em into my life every Christmas.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1002: R “Who’s interested in safety? Not Flavor Flav. Flavor Flav doesn’t give a crap about his body.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “You need one social media that is everything. We should invent this. We should call it, ‘Nexxus.’” L “Isn’t that a phone?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What should we call it, Alex?”... Alex “I guess we can call it, ‘Meatball, the service.’” R “You said ‘smeat’ first.” Alex “Yes.” L “Smeatball.” R “Smeatball the service.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Well, there ya go. We have a star in our midst and we didn’t even know it.” L “Oh, I knew it.” R “He had been sitting on this the whole freakin’ time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1003: L “I mean, the thing is, I know how an elephants work nowadays,” R “You do?” L “Yeah, man. I study the heck out of elephants in photo form.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s what they call me at the steak restaurant.” L “‘Wedge beast?’” R “Yeah, ‘cause I get that wedge salad! ‘Oh, the wedge beast is back!’” L “You go beast on that salad!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Lizzie “What that is, it’s called a tooth whirl, which sounds like something a hillbilly dentist might call its practice.” R “Welcome to the tooth whirl!” L “I don’t know what to do, but I’ll give it a whirl!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘What’s a mule?’ That’s a question for another day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-db1a-95ca-96f9-dd85e73c9bd4"><span>GMMore: L “Rhett dreams to find fossils, but he’s never done it.” R “Rhett dreams to find fossils. He’s always dreaming for the fossils.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1004: L “If you try to get everything, you get nothing.” “Is it a female gorilla if it’s a woman in a gorilla suit?” “Don’t spit in my mug!” “But I do believe in Sasquatch now!” “Keep that! That’s a good look for you, George Michael.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re acting like you’ve never seen your diary before. ‘Them some big lips, somebody kissed my diary.’ This is your freaking diary! I found it on your desk!” L “No, I don’t think that’s my diary. I think you went through a lot of trouble to impersonate what you think my diary would be. I keep a journal, man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How did you not see Bigfoot?” L “Are you talking about the female Sasquatch?” R “How did you miss that?” L “I don’t know. Maybe ‘cause it is female. It is anatomically correct.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “See, I’m a good guesser and you’re a good draw-er.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1005: R “Don’t crush the dreams of future goat experts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "Don't put your head in ketchup if it looks like a potato." “Buy a ticket on the log flume ride.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Your demo fades out?" L "Yeah. I wanted to leave you wanting more of the creepy!" R "Ugh, wow. I don't want anymore." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1006: R “Oh gosh! Is that your jaw making that noise?” L “Mhm-hmm.” R “I been telling ya, you need to get that looked at.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When I realize that it’s your breath, it’s horrible, but when I just think of it as a food for me, I like it!” “I have the breath of a baby.” “I’m a good smeller!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Whatever that is, is how your breath normally smells! Like, I actually smell beard in it.” “I just smell normal dude breath!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I just feel like I just got a asthma treatment! I don’t even have asthma yet! Sign me up for asthma after that!” R “Don’t put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You’ve got a talent! You make bad things smell good in breath form!” ...R “You’re good at knowing what it is just by listening. We’ll have to do that another time.” L “Yeah, ‘what am I biting just by listening.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Shout out to Slim Goodbody.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-e84b-efb3-81db-d24f51cad868"><span>R “That’s what I’m gonna be for Halloween, man. I’m gonna be ‘a balloon and that face.’”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1007: L "Serial killers do the darnedest things!" "A lot of clown hysteria going around these days. We shouldn't be adding to it, but we are." "If you wanna date a serial killer, do it with a wall in between you and him, preferably a prison wall." "You're being so weird today." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Oo, there's a spooky shield down there with a skull on it!" R "That's not a shield. That's what they call a tombstone, Neal."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Don't mind him. He's with me." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "BTK. I'm surprised I didn't know what that meant." L "Bind, torture, kindly install your ADT Home Security System." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1008: R "I've got another hellhole for ya: New Jersey..." "The devil loves drainage pipes!" "I thought the devil'd be more of a bourbon man, but, you know, I'll go along with this." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "He has slain Satan and he is drinking from his horn." "Get ready to be spooked out of your boots!" "Grip your grippies!" "Odor's out, demons in. Not a sponsor!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I like Snooki, man! I'm not scared of Snooki. Long live Snooki." L "Don't be afraid of no Snooki."</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Both scream) L "I just got myself!" R "Ah, you jerk!" L "I got you, I got you, and I got me!" R "You knew that was gonna happen-" L "I knew that was gonna happen!" R "and you still reacted to it?" L "Yes! I can't help it man!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "When you opened this, what was the first thing you said?" R "I was like, 'oh yeah, my mead horn!'" L "Your what?" R "MY MEAD HORN!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "What I like about is that, well, it represents that my wife is very attentive. She sees me mention something one time and then, ba-dow, I get it for my birthday!" L "BA-DOW!" R "You know, and that's impressive so thank you, baby, for this." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "What?! I turned into a castle?!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "We gotta go paragliding and you gotta be wearing rocket boosters." L "And I will do it fearlessly." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Maybe you should just grow dreadlocks. Maybe that's what your next haircut is. Let's just keep it simple."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1009: R “...but if you want to embrace your inner Halloweenie then, uh, that came out wrong, but just hang on…” L “Welcome to my world.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Well, I’ll tell ya, I’ve lived a lot of life, well, I’ve lived the life that I’ve lived,” R “I’ve lived a lot of life, man.” L “and all the life that I’ve lived, I’ve liked it. I’ve liked living it,” R “Really? All of it?” L “and I think that when I die, I’ll be like, ‘I’d like to keep doing the life thing.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L (singing) “Bring in the Chase head ‘cause Chase’s head is dead. Oooo, oooo. Bring in the Chase head. Chase’s head is dead. Oooo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Chase singing: “I love trains and the railroads.” “Conductors and cabooses.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-2a7a-1fac-b1a2-690ad52a0be8"><span>R&L “That was the part that we haven’t gotten to. (trying to sing in unison) Sometimes when I’m on the train, I look out the window longingly at the scenery and the conductor doesn’t like me and it makes me sad.” (speaking) R “Man, we should record that.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1010: R “Once you get one hole in a hoodie, you just keep getting holes in a hoodie.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Quick! Red wire or blue wire or green wire or yellow wire or purple wire?” Lizzie “Isn’t is always not the red wire?” L “Is that your answer?” Lizzie “Yeah.” L “Cut it! Cut it!” (Lizzie motions cutting a wire) L “You saved us. Hashtag squad goals!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You got a, there’s like a DV tape here?” Kevin “Uh-huh.” R “Oh, what is that?” Kevin “What does that say?” R “It says ‘LOCKLEAR MOVIE FINAL’. Hold on, you’ve got our old documentary from ten years ago on there?” Kevin “Apparently, I do!” R “Mhmm.” L “Guys, that shouldn’t be propped. Don’t go in that box for props.” R “How did that-” L “That’s called an ‘archive’, not a prop box.” R “Wow, it got made into a costume!” Kevin “We could watch that if you want.” R “Yep.” Kevin “I got a TV in the van.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Who goes trick-or-treating in the morning?” R “Banana and corn do!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1011: R “It’s like a Cadbury Creme Egg in all the best ways you can imagine!” L “Bringing Easter to Halloween like no one else can, guys!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Corn sugar sugar and sugar sugar!” (singing->) “Sugar time! Sugar time with your meat stick!” “That’s a theme song for a movie that I don’t recommend renting.” “Demon kids running for the hills!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Didn’t think I could do that. I’m like a gecko, man. Put something on my eye, watch me get it. Don’t do it.” L “You blocked me! What’s this? The NBA?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Okay, there he is. There’s the ol’ Link. For a second, I thought you had achieved superhuman levels of resistance, man.” L “Uh, it’s so black. It’s black like the thoughts I’m having right now.” R “I’m sorry. I did not mean to do that. That was obscene. I did not mean to do that in front of you. I was trying to get it down.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Just think about what all those demon kids are eating, trick-or-treating? I mean, it’s worth for the demon children.” R “Where have you seen the demon children?” L “Knocking on my door asking for candy every Christmas, I mean, Thanksgiving, I mean, Halloween.” R “That’s when the demon children show up, Christmas.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-2fe0-7768-0a67-4cd55e45f177"><span>R “Let me see yours. You show you mine- oh!” L “You show you mine, I show me yours.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1012: R “As you can see, we finally came to a decision for our Halloween costumes. We were going to be Batman and Robin, but as you might expect, we could not agree on who would be Batman.” L “Mhmm.” R “So we are Robin and Taller Robin.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I love giving myself fives with these gloves!” “Robin wasn’t as cool as us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “A lot of people don’t know this, but on the backside of the mountain, they actually have the president’s butts carved and there’s little doors that you can go right in and up to the presidential mouths.” L “Right. They call that-” R “The presidential backdoor.” L “They call it ‘the presidential suite.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I think this mask makes me stupid. I knew I should have been Batman!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1013: R “Before we get started, mythical beasts, we wanna let you know about something very special and that is that we have just launched a brand new product! It is Rhett and Link’s Mythical Pomade!” “Gonna make bathing great again.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Make your hair mythical with premium hair spread. Head spread.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Have you ever looked at a giant rock and thought, ‘man, I wish I could bathe in that’?” R “Actually, yes.” L “I bet you have.” R “Yeah, yeah. You gotta remember your audience here, Link.” L “I’ve looked at giant rocks and said, ‘I wish I could sunbathe on that.’” R “Like a lizard.” L “Like a naked lizard.” R “Like an iguana. Well, most lizards are already naked.” L “And so was I.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “It smells good. It smells clean and smart and funny.” R “Clean and smart and funny. Everything you want to be.” L “It smells popular. It smells like…’oh, I’m getting a date.’” R “Really? It smells like you’re getting a date?” L “Not, ‘I’m on a date.’” R “Now don’t make promises that we can’t fulfill.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-3b88-a18e-ed22-9376cc9ba333"><span>R “If it was just up to me, if I was the only person who existed on Earth, I would have either one large dread or just a buzz cut. Those are the only two functional haircuts as far as I’m concerned, but we live in a culture where there are expectations placed on just this weird hair that’s on top of your head and you have to fulfill those expectations in a mythical way, or you are given the opportunity to fulfill those expectations. I do that with Rhett and Link’s Mythical Pomade!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1014: L “Don’t Steven Seagal my arm.” “Outlaw that person’s leg! That should not go on the internet, people.” “My hammies are so tight, so stressed, need someone- okay.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Now, first of all, I have a really pointy elbow, like a deathly point elbow.” L “Is that from an incident?” R “No, it’s</span> <span>for</span> <span>an incident!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Oh gosh, look at the skin!” L “What is that, Rhett?” R “‘Cause I have such a point, the skin’s gotta go somewhere when I go like this!” L “That is like the flap under a chicken neck.” R “Don’t pull it so much, man! That’s nasty!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ow! Why you gotta pinch me?” R “Don’t touch my skin, man! Don’t touch my elbow skin!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And listen, I see you freaks making fun of me for my elbow skin. I’m proud of it, I just don’t like it to be caressed.” “They’re just super pointy! That’s another test. A sign of intelligence.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Congratulations, Link. You’re the flex king!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Charleston. You’re about to have some nice grits at a restaurant.” “Shout-out to you guys, Ant and Dec.” “Do I look peaked? I feel peaked.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The best shrimp and grits I’ve ever had was in Charleston, South Carolina.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Let’s go to brunch.” R “K. Where do you wanna go?” L “Uhh.” R “Someplace that has mimosas?” L “Huh! We deserve it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1015: L “Call me if you want the pizza horn.” “Do whatever you want, (sustaining a D note) I’m going to sing a D no matter what.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Dangit! I’m always going one freakin’ note up! Maybe that’s a special skill.” L “No, it’s not.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (singing) “Oh, Linkypoo. Mhmm. Linkypoo, you know what you can do, anything you want me to. Anything at all. Anything at all, me and Craig, are here for you. We’re here for you, Linkypoo. Yeeeaahh.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-4fd7-4845-ed0d-b4cc397cadeb"><span>GMMore: L (reading a letter) “‘Who is this giant viking-looking guy with big fingernails beside Ryan Adams? That’s Rhett.’” R “Big fingernails? What do you mean? From there to there or they were, like, outgrown?” L “I think just the surface area of your fingernails is rather big.” R “I’m not gonna deny that!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1016: L “Figure us out. That’s going to be a challenge!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Whenever I used to make out with that CPR mannequin, that’s what it tasted like.” R “The one at your mom’s work?” L “My mom trained to be an EMT and you had to do mouth-to-mouth.” R “And you made out with it?” L “Well, I did CPR on it when no one was looking.” R “You did French CPR.” L “Oui, oui!” … L “It tastes like Annie! Her name was Annie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Gosh, Annie. Where have you been hanging out, Annie?” L “They called her Annie. You know how, in that Smooth Criminal, he was like, ‘Annie are you okay? Annie are you okay?’ That’s what you’d say before you did CPR.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t know if it’s just the redneck in me that likes something when you put cheese flavor in it.” L “Would you like parmesan with that? Yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But I think that we may be picking the best redneck sauce. I think that’s what’s happening.” L “Well, we might be the best rednecks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “What is “piede”? Lizzie (laughing) “It’s feet. I made it with my feet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-636f-71fc-211f-a8e0c8cfa63f"><span>L “This is Lizzie’s idea of a prank. You know, the way that you just laughed at us added six months to your life!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1017: L (singing ->) “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 1,064?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And to help us with the board today, please welcome Stevie! She’s extraordinary at removing center tiles from boards!” R “I’m a big fan of her as well!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...cats are like, they don’t even have souls, man.” L “I agree with that.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I know animals so well, man! I’m a party animal!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading->) “Big Bertha isn’t just what you name that atypical mole on your back-” R “Shout-out to Buddy System!“</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Both “All jerky, all the time!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I appreciate cat lovers.” L “I like cats. I like the idea of cats.” R “I like kittens.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m a dark meat man.” “Here we go, Gilbert. Doin’ a little food challenge. Woo-wee, Gilbert! We’ve made it to the big time! Chewin’ on taffy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Chicken ain’t denture cream. You can probably get chicken-flavored denture cream.” “If two things occur to two people independently, it must be true.” “Now, you’re onto something! Peanut butter is glue, unlike chicken. I agree with you now.” “You feel like such an idiot when you choke on peanut butter. You’re like, ‘I know I’m gonna be okay, but I feel like such a turd.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Chicken’s not glue. Show me a chicken and show me glue. Totally different things.” L “Rhett, if it doesn’t hurt you, don’t worry about it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I got chicken mouth.” “Hey buddy, whatcha doin’ this afternoon? You wanna come over to my house and play checkers?” R “No.” L “Call me chicken teeth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is unpleasant to do. I know it’s unpleasant to watch. Why are you watching this?” L “Or listen to. I’m sure it doesn’t sound great.” R “You should click away. We have a lot of other videos. Or you could stay. Thanks for staying! Really? You’re still watching this? Weird.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-8c86-de3d-92c4-0227d1c50239"><span>R “Now, what is that?” L “I think it’s an incisor.” R “That’s a corn. A piece of corn! Could be a lil’ feller, I don’t know.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1018: R “Sadly, he hasn’t uploaded anything over there for two years. The last video which I checked out was ‘Aerial View of Garbage.’ L “That’s what he called it? R “Yeah!” L “And that’s what it was?” R “I watched it 14 times in a row! You would not believe how interesting aerial garbage is!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...I love a good royal burger at a zoo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Listen, I’ve been to TGI Fridays and the people there don’t look like this. I mean, I’ve been to it a number of times in Fuquay-Varina.” L “Everybody’s making out in the Fridays I go to. No mistletoe needed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...Rhett, I know you’re a huge fan of sensual pop sensation, Enrique Iglesias.” R “ Oh, yes I am! I’m an Enrique-boy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-a210-9e84-acf9-fb895bd33067"><span>R “Oh, poor Enrique.” “That’s why we love you, Enrique. That’s why we’re your boys. That’s why we love you, because of the heart of the shirt.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>GMMore: L "Slow burn."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1019: L “This is how I typically break bulbs. (yelling->) Why am I the only one in this house that turns off all the lights? I’m always turning off the lights after everybody!” “Woowee! We’re having fun today!” “I usually throw tantrums when I have to do household chores.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wasn’t joking about turning this into a light.” L “Let’s do it. So, put one hand here, and the other hand-” R “No, and then, just like this, and then we rub these hands.” (rubbing each other’s hands together) R “What if it worked, man? What if that worked? We’d change the world!” L “Well, I’m glad we’re taping.” R “That’s not what’s gonna happen.” L “We do use tapes still.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t insult our light, man!” L “Hello. I live in this light. I am a potato.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Never look down the barrel of a flashlight.” R (pretending to be shocked) “Bzz. Bzz.” L “That’s a dad joke if I’ve ever seen one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “There are no winners or losers because everyone wins when you’re playing with potatoes.” “I don’t like movies, rather, that make me feel like I need to hold my breath.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Paint me like your french fries, Jack.” L “I don’t have any brushes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Hey Jack, these aren’t my eyes.” L “Oh.” R “They’re too low to be my eyes.” L “And cut.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (singing->) “Love will build a bridge,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Between your heart and mine.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Love will build a bridge.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>All you need is time.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Don’t you think it’s time?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Merry Christmas, mother - “ L “Yippy ki-yay.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (singing) “First you get the limbo stick,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>then you go right under it.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Then you get on the other side,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>and you stand up when you get to the other side.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-1d3f-cd03-8ad2-8ab38ba135bf"><span>Mmm, tally me banana.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1020: L “Super Recognizer for ‘Good Mythical Morning!’ You did it, Rhett!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And thank you for being you who I recognize.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Poise your fingers for some URL-age.” “</span><a href="http://www.MythicalMailMuseum.com"><span>www.MythicalMailMuseum.com</span></a><span>.” “I have a perfect memory and Rhett thinks he’s the super recognizer.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Matches and a candle ‘cause it stinks.” “I’ve been calling ‘beanies’ ‘hoodies’ for weeks! What is wrong with me?!” “Wow, a little window into how Link’s brain works right there.” “Oh! Six woods! I wanna eat it so bad.” “Davis the laminator.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “So, I think there are two sides to this. The first one is, if you’re like me, and I think most people are, when you meet somebody new, even if you say-” L “That’s a sad thought, by the way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Both “Do sha do dat.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Shout out to Blake Griffin, the mythical beast. We should have him on the show ‘cause his last name is a mythical beast.” R “We should.” L “He’s got a good sense of humor.” R “Let’s make that happen.” L “And he’s got a big foot. He’s got a big foot and he’s a basketball player.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Blake Griffin, we challenge you to a calf circumference versus Link’s torso circumference challenge-” R “But only” L “In person!” R “in person.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-3a66-5ddb-8221-d2d99b4dcdfa"><span>L “J.J. Redick, you’re invited, too. ‘Cause you have a podcast that Rhett has listened to.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1021: R “Breakfast is regarded to be the most important meal of the day, followed closely by second breakfast.” “All of those are important, but when you’re in America, you pretty much just have to settle for beggs, which is my way of saying eggs and bacon, or bacon and eggs, or add a little cheese. That’s all we get is beggs!” (Recurring, in variation->) “I would be willing to bet all of the money that I’ve ever seen…” “I got a freakin’ Moroccan magnet on my darts!” “Oh come on, man. Take a trip to Iceland with me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-6633-e02d-1aaf-3aa2ad7640b2"><span>R “Hmm, that’s a clint. Hold on!” L “We went to high school with a guy named Clint.” R “No! Let me tell you what happened! I said ‘hint’ and ‘clue’ together. And then it’s a clint!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1022: R “Please enter my office, patient Neal!” “I’m a jive doctor so sometimes I use medical terms and sometimes I just freeflow and use slang terms.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Why am I not just naked with this box on me?” R “Baby steps on this show.” L “Okay.” R “You know? We work our way up to full nakedness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Amputate me!” R “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that in this office.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “So how can you see something on me that I can’t see on you?” R “Isn’t that the question?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “As revealed in episode three of Buddy System, I actually do not have one of these.” L “Never, you don’t.” R “I had one at birth, but the doctor threw it away with the placenta.” L “Oh!” R “It’s in a garbage bin somewhere.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You played with mine, man. How could you forget so quickly?” L “Oh! That! The hangy down backside of the elbow!” R “You’re right, Link!” L “Weenis!” R “That’s your weenis! I’ve got a saggy one, and I’m proud of it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And you win your very own Neal Anatomy Chart!” … L “We’re going to give it to what will soon-to-be a former fan.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I feel like an alien watching another species when you tell me these type of things because, admittedly, way past to a fault, I’m very frugal, and I have to justify every single purchase, but I feel like I’ve broken new ground.” “And then halfway through, I’m like, ‘I shouldn’t do this. This is stupid.’ I’m like, ‘but Rhett would be proud of me.’” “They are Air Trainer SC 2 QS's.” “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Bo Jackson, ‘Bo Knows’ shoe…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m not a collector, I’m just a buyer.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There’s no real crotch under here, it’s just material.” … R “You heard it here. There’s no real crotch under there. I’m sure it comes as a surprise to all of you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “They got a little pink on them.” L “Well, that’s orange.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1023: L “Me and my sports bra dance amongst the windmills.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And because it makes your finger feel and look shorter than it actually is, I suggest only using this on fingers. Keep it on the hands,” L “Noted!” R “and everything will be okay.” L “That gave me a weird sensation, you know?” R “That’s what we’re all about here.” L “It’s an illusion!’</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is a mirror, but it is just sorcery. This is actual sorcery.” L “Mirror sorcery.” R “This is the first illusion that has just been determined to be actual sorcery…” L “That man is a mirror witch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Looks like a bunch of little burgers.” L “Is that undulating for you?” R “It makes me hungry.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You shut the chicken up, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “One time my dad told me, he was like, you know, in Vermont, chicken [censored word] is not a bad word.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I am so hot right now, I have to take this sports bra off.” … “I can’t think straight.” R “Oh, is that what it is? Do you always have this on?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-8a20-5f51-f39e-7bea2b1f9afb"><span>GMMore: L “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Method Guy, the magician!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1024: R “When we were kids, you know what we had? We had pick-up sticks and sticks!” “Out with the yo, and in with the bro. Introducing, the Bro-Yo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “That’s pop culture relevancy!” “You’re not going to make a house, but you can make, like, a really nice leg fence.” “It looks like something that would be in a back closet of Westworld, you know?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Both: “Aaaaaahhh!” “Nooooo!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-93eb-0e89-8d6a-909cb6878f27"><span>L “Youth leaders across the nation are clamoring for the Amazon Link for this device.” “I just like whipped cream. I’m losing on purpose!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1025: Both singing:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>“</span><span>Humuhumunukunukuāpuaʻa, ah</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Vacation is better with two, aua’a</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Humuhumunukunukuāpuaʻa, ah</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-78d87cf4-2e55-6590-489b-7281d5d37258"><span>Vacation is better with you, aua’a.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1026: R “We can really spell anything with fingerling cookies.” “Spin the wheel, Neal!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Welcome my dad, Charles, to Good Mythical Morning!” “Chef Charles!” “Do you see where I get it from?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Charles “Y’all lived here so long, you don’t understand southern anymore?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Sing the cookie song, dad.” Charles “Cookie, cookie, cookie!” R “He doesn’t remember it either.” L (singing) “C is for cookie. That’s good enough for me!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oo, I’m not good at these type of questions.” Charles “And we got two engineering students can’t figure that out.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Good.” L “What is it?” Stevie “That’s a cat food cookie.” L “Keep eating it if you like it so much.” R “It’s really not that bad! Cats don’t have it too bad!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Hey, baby, I’m bringin’ out my lotion cookies!” “My daughter likes to bake cookies, and I actually ask her, I mentioned this to her, I came home one day and Lily had a surprise in the fridge for me and it was chocolate chipless chocolate cookie dough that she had made from scratch for me.” “And it happened.” “I ate it all over the course of 2 days, over a weekend. It was like, once this bowl of this stuff, this kryptonite is in here, I’m gonna gobble it up just like Superman does.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I like chocolate chipless chocolate chip cookie dough. You feel me?” R “That’s just cookie dough, man.” L “Well, yeah it is.” R “Are you just now getting this?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I live a rich lifestyle, Rhett. Tell him about it, dad.” Charles “Yeah-” L “But don’t tell him too much.” R “Yeah, you’ve been staying with him for a couple of days. What is it like over there at his house? He never lets me stay over there anymore.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Charles “...it’s been nice being here to see y’all.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Listen, you have to promise me right now. You have to do this with your hair when you get his age. In order for us to still be friends when you’re still old, you have to have your hair just like this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1027: L “Never walk into a turkey penis. Never.” R “That’s the beginning of a bad joke.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Kee-kee’ like Kiki Shepard, Showtime at the Apollo?” L “Mmhmm.” R “That’s a reference that me and you and no one else gets.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Turkey me!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And when it comes to turkey, I am a breast man, but when it comes to humans, I’m a wing man because I am married.” R “Oh, that was slick!” L ”Happily married.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m going to Narnia. I’m bringing Bob Ross with me!” “Bacolurkeychocoleg.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-78d87cf4-2e55-d42a-8cfd-f987d94c3e0e"><span>R “Don’t apologize for the starfood before I eat it.” “Bacolurkeychocoleg at the Chinese province fair, there’s a ferris wheel. We gotta dress like dragons though, I think.” “We only sell it on the new year to smokers.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1028: R “You might be surprised to know that in all the years that we’ve known each other and all the stupid things that we’ve done on this show and off, I’m proud to say, we have never been arrested.” L “Nope! I guess we’ve just had a very long, lucky streak…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I ain’t afraid of no pasty white dude kicking a soccer ball against graves.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1029: R “Don’t reduce a person to just their face.” “They call this scruff, Link. It’s not scrub. Now you can scrub it, but they call it scruff.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like the annual corporate Mythical Entertainment facial analysis.” “Bearded boy with dangerous brow. Fake nose ‘cause I’m not stupid!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Your nose feels nothing like it looks.” Jen “What does it feel like?” R “How often you feelin’ people’s noses, man?” L “I don’t wanna offend you. You got a great looking nose!’ Jen “I know. It’s very swoopy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Is this going to involve his mouth not moving?” Chase “Yes.” R “Oh, great.” Chase “That make you happy?” R “Yeah, makes me real happy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I mean, how many times in your life have you been in a situation where people could be doing anything to you?” “...all the survival adaptations that I have in my body are telling me that you should not relax and let someone that you don’t know very well poke you…” “I don’t care how old you are, if you’re about to get a physical and you’re going in and you’re self-conscious about having this doctor inspect you in a way that you probably don’t want anyone inspecting you, when you’re in that situation, I want you to picture yourself as a dolphin caught in a net, and be like, ‘ultimately, in the scheme of my life, this doctor needs to do this to get me out of the net. Otherwise, I’m going to be taken and turned into tuna with all the rest of the tuna.’” “Your two small dolphins that are in your pants.” “I should teach kids things.” “I should write children’s books. I should write one called ‘Two Dolphins in a Net.’ It’s like for all boys who are going in for their first physical.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1030: R “Happy Thanksgiving to all you mythical beasts in America and beyond! You can enjoy Thanksgiving celebration. We are very thankful to each and every one of you who has chosen to make this show a part of your daily routine.” “When the gravy film wants to unload, let it go! Don’t resist it. Don’t resist a gravy film that wants to get out.” “I actually just, I totally forgot, I recently found out that I’m lactose intolerant.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (singing) “Some gravy dip makes everything so much better. Gray dip.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ice cream spinnage.” R “Ice creamed spinach.” L “Spinnage.” R “Hold on.” L “I know you don’t like how I say it.” R “Well, ‘cause you don’t say it, I don’t, It’s not about what I like, it’s about being right.” L “Spinach.” R “Spinnage is what happens when you start spinning something. Spinach is a leafy vegetable that you eat.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hey, it was worth a shot. I’m sure the kids’ll love it.” R “Are you saying don’t try that one?” L “Just give it to the kids. Send them in another room.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You gonna be okay?” L “Not emotionally.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Introducing, the revamped Wheel of Gifticality, where we’re going to be giving gifts to you through the end of the year.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L (singing) </span>“My stomach don’t feel good already. Gonna have to get [a] call from Betty.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>“‘Cause it cuts like a knife!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Betty calls me whenever I get a upset tummy.” “Don’t you guys care?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m thankful for soylent.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1031: L “Some Mythical Beanies!” … R “We will actually put these on our heads later, but our hair is too valuable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And I’m a late bloomer to the corndog, actually.” “I just want you to look in there.” “I’ll tell you right now, this right here, is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever eaten in an episode of ‘Will It.’” “And I don’t even love eggnog!” “Gather around for the Escorndogo, children.” “Je suis barrel.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When did you start liking corndogs?” “Uh, about eight years ago. I don’t know why. But I love them now.” R “It was just an event.” L “I was just like, there’s other things I’ll always order.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s tastes exactly like you think it does. All your wildest dreams just came true in my mouth.” “I’m like a nog factory over here!” “Man, I caught your puke.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (singing) “Corndoggy-dog. The street dog.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Look, this is like an intergalactic corndog ship making its way into my mouth orifice. You know what I’m saying? Like in space?” R “I’ve never seen a spaceship like that, Link. Maybe a blimp?” L “It’s an intergalactic corndog blimp.” R “That rides the solar winds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What kind of outfit has access to a possum?” R “Probably that dude that we get all the weird meats from.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Why are you still happy?” R “Well, that was entertaining, what you did.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1032: L “You can over-jingle. It’s been done by us.” “Google ferrets in the snow. You’re welcome.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s funny. When you opened your mouth, I felt coolness come out. Are you chewing gum?” R “I did earlier.” L “Like, I literally felt minty coolness at the end of my finger.” R “Well, that’s normal. My tongue gives off that all the time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You’re really leaning in to this hating cats.” R “Yeah, cat lovers! I’m leaning in!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Wow, Link, you’re smart today! What kind of breakfast did you have?”... L “I love cats, and I’m looking for your vote in two years from now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Beborah, though, that’s-if I had a daughter, that would have been her name.” L “Google Beborah in the snow.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1033: R “...I personally like my languages like I like my computer companies, made by one guy in a garage somewhere.” “Give me the CliffsNotes! Give me the Link’s notes!” “Summer Wood. That’s a good name.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Not a good idea to speak Klingon on a first day-tch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s supposed to sound like Welsh and you know who’s Welsh, Link?” L “Catherine Zeta-Jones?” R “Yeah, she is!” L “I got a shot!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you pronouce my name backwards, it’s still Link Neal.” R “It is! We recently discovered that!” L “Someone tweeted that at me and it blew my mind!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Anna zhokwa gomma et athmar hara.” “You know what you said?” L “No.” R “My big mouth has sores.” … “Poultice for the pouters.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON ELEVEN</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1054: R (singing) "Kiss me through the phone." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1065: R “Bib me!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love a good rack.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Okay, this is gonna be a little weird. I’m not gonna watch you.” R “Well, hold on. I will say there was that time in eighth grade where we were both in the same room kissing two different girls and we made eye contact, you remember that?” L “I remember you timing it and telling me how long it lasted afterward, but-.” R “No, I was making out with Amber and you were making out with Anna, and I, like, open my eyes and I saw you, (laughs and points) and I was like, mmm, turned away very quickly.” L “I just wanted to see-” “I wanted to see who was, if you were done or not. I didn’t want to get done first, just like right now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m having a crisis of-” R “This feels so wrong.” L “-life right now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Top that, Casanova!” R “It was such a mistake to watch you kiss!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I look like a demented football player. I look like a renegade kicker. Like, ‘he’s just a kicker, but he’s crazy!’” “I’m a kicker. I play the guitar on the sidelines.” “I’d like to be a crazy NFL kicker.” “If I wasn’t an internet comedian or a paleontologist, my third choice would be NFL kicker, you know? They live and die by the kick.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>“I like the tick,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>I like to have the rhythm when I’m sleeping and I kick.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>I’m a kicker</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>in the NFL.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>I been doin’ it for a really long time,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>and I sleep at night with my makeup on,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>and I’ve only got</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>one ball</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>cause (of?)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>flexibility is important</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>if you wanna dominate in this league. That’s me.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-ac3b-3a2f-4f67-9a7868ed61f2"><span>I’m a kicker.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1068: R “I like using championship as a verb. I’m a fan of that.” L “Rhymes with trippin’ shippin’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Willaston worms are the gweatest worms in the world.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How have we never been to this thing, Link? It’s in Louisburg!” L “I don’t go to Louisburg. People are weird there. They like to whistle.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “We did a ‘Don’t Google That’ recently and it was Ballerina Feet and I was looking at the comments and people were like, ‘guys, if you tell us not to google something, we’re going to google it.’ I just-I know there has to be people like you in the world in order-I-there has to be a spectrum. There just has to be a spectrum. I know that that’s just how things work, but if you’re on that part of the spectrum where that’s the kind of comment that you make, just reevaluate things before you comment. Just think for a second, ‘maybe they intended this to be sarcastic. Maybe I shouldn’t make this comment.’” L “Rhett.” R “That’s just all I’m asking. I mean, just, you don’t have to listen, but just maybe you should listen.” L “Rhett.” R “Yeah. Sorry.” L “It was me. I left the comment.” (R laughs)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-2a7a-5fea-0704-5a76b71e72f9"><span>R “Chips and salsa, I mean, I could just sit by myself for a really long time doing this.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1071: L “Next up we have frozen mustard, like frozen custard except, uh, well, it’s just yellow mustard, and look at how yellow it is. ” R “And look what we wore today! We look like the spokesman for frozen mustard! Step right up! You spill it on this shirt, doesn’t matter as long as it hits the right stripe!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m a middle-aged mustard man, myself.” “You know you’re pressing hard when you can sever a finger with a spoon!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Old men, they like hard cheese and strong mustard.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-2a7a-907d-cbc6-048c709a6444"><span>GMMore: L “Deep fried mustard ice cream! Pretzel crusted mustarded ice cream!” “Step right up and get your busboy juice!”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1073: L “You’re gross, man. Your romantic talk is weird.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Say things that make sense, man!’ L “Do something that make sense!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1074: R “On Monday, we announced our very exciting announcement about our book! ‘Rhett and Link’s Book of Mythicality’!” “The subtitle is ‘A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery.’ It’s all about living the mythical life and we put a lot of ourselves into this book.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...it started as a small idea, like ‘yeah, we should do something, we should do a book, it is the thing to do, right, YouTubers are doing books, yeah, we gotta get in one that game,’ but once we got into it, we just were like, ‘oh, this is turning into way more, this is turning into the book we thought we would write five to ten years from now-” L “When no one cared.” R “Yeah, exactly. (laughs) We didn’t think we would do something that was so based on our stories and was such a autobiography and memoir approach and that’s just what it became because in order to talk about our different aspects of mythicality in our lives, we had to talk about the stories and the experiences that contributed to that so that’s what the book became…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-43ad-7bc6-7da9-72ba11db6944"><span>L “But it felt great to be doing something for the first time again at my age.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1076: Michael/VSauce: “You can’t drink from a book.” L “Yes, you can. You drink knowledge!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-4e87-20b4-6e65-9773ac8f10f0"><span>GMMore: L “Taste the memory, is the slogan for-” Michael/Vsauce: “Pork brain smoothies, yeah.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1078: L “There are few things in life more valuable than finding a place to sit and do nothing, I mean, we all love to slouch in a couch, to daze in a chaise, to be ineffectual in a sectional.” “I’ve never seen a magician without his shirt tucked in.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-6295-a94c-40a7-ab943d457089"><span>GMMore: L “We here at our desk do not like to move to go to our couch. We like to have the couch brought to us.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1079: R “And this specific food hack inspired by the movie is for all the dreamers out there, who count their sheep before they sleep, but when they awake in the morning, they realize that their dreams, like lambs, have been slaughtered and turned into meatballs, it’s La La Land Meatballs, everybody!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If your kids are lost, you should stop playing games and look for them!” “It’s breaking out into song in my mouth. (singing->) I taste like a lamb.” “Dink it and nominate it for mouth purchase.” “Ryan, you devil you. You’ve outdone yourself, Mr. Eva Mendes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Oh come on, look what you did to my boy! What-” L “I censored him.” R “Why would you do that? This is a man, when women see him on screen, their eggs just get deviled right there in the theater.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-6e04-3618-f760-a0c6e520674e"><span>GMMore: L “Conquer your fears by doing things that aren’t too stupid. We celebrate that.” “You’re too young to make things plural that aren’t plural. That’s an old woman thing.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1081: R “He’s almost hurt me so many times and injured me so many times that I’m not surprised, but Chase, you okay?” Chase “I think so?” L “I’m surprised you didn't say more than you said!” Chase “I was trying to be nice for the fans.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Your ball, your nut.” “High and to the right, consistently.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oh, I chewed up some of those green things. Those are like nutty seeds.” “I’ve cracked the case! It’s nutty seeds!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “We quit asking questions a long time ago.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I think I’m definitely a flash-and-smile-and-twirl-my-hair kinda gal.” “Sippy-sip time, boys!” “I like to think of myself as a lil’ cray-cray.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You’re not fit, man.” R “True.” L “You’re not unfit. I mean, you’re fit to be an internet comedian.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-736d-e6b1-f7ee-a96411db50b7"><span>L “Tell me what you want, what you really, really want?” Stevie “Uh-huh.” L “I wanna, ha, I wanna, ha, I wanna ziggy-zig ah?”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1082: L “Rhett, if you were not an internetainer, what would you want to be?” R “A paleontologist.” L “That’s right. I knew that. So you want to be a studier of stuff that’s been dug up.” R “Well, specifically, fossils, not just anything. I mean, I have my tastes, my preferences.“</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I need to be wearing my beige outfit, my beige onesie. That’s what I wear when the paleontologists are watching.” “Kids, that’s how you do good in school!” “Are y’all watching? I’ll put the beige on if you want me to!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-820b-1236-9a8d-1b99a7575f49"><span>GMMore: R “Man, getting buried alive would suck so bad. If this was dirt? What a way to go! That’s why I’m not in the mob. That’s why I don’t cross the mob. Mob, I know you’re watching. I’m not gonna cross you. You can have a cut of our business at anytime.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1083: R “Is it a product?” Mayim “Isn’t everything?” L “So, yes.” “Just like everything, it is a product.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You’re actually feeling dimensionality?” Mayim “I am.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “When in doubt, stroke it out.” “It feels great to do nothing and be hilarious!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m a genius!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “You look like a superhero that no one would want to come help.” Mayim “With the power of the crinoline!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s clairvoyance. That’s what that is. I’ve always assumed that I had it especially for, you know, household products.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “My daughter is about to be 14,” Mayim “She’s my target audience!” L “and she’s gonna get your book.” Mayim “‘Cause she’s strong, smart and spectacular!” L “She is, and reading the book will only help.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1085: R “Today, we dance the pain away.” “Touch the membrane, Link!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What was your song about?” L “I don’t know. Energy. It was intensity!” R “It wasn’t about a woman going through her Apple Notes about what she was going to do for the day, to a cool guitar?” L “No.” R “Well, mine was!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Cool club. You come here often?” L “First time, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Codependency in the club.” L “Yeah, well it’s survival of the funkiest.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We gotta take that group on the road, man.” L “Yeah.” R “I mean, that’s the best thing we’ve ever done.” L “And then leave ‘em.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-90fd-e70b-47a1-7da56b571d9f"><span>L “There you have it, Laura. So, get you one of these suits and some other friends in their suits. It won’t be weird at all. Your feet won’t hurt.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1086: R “You’re a chicken expert, man!” L “I’m a chicken genius! You’re finally a genius at something!” L “I’m good at something!” R “We should play a song!” L “I wanna thank Rhett for being here for this. I wanna thank all you guys, Chase for feeding me, I wanna thank all the chickens in the world for sacrificing yourself for the fryer for me, and for all my friends, free chicken sandwiches for everybody today!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What are the chances? All the stars are aligning! Link, you need to try something difficult today ‘cause you will succeed. Your lip balm is aligning with your chicken. What else could happen?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I got chicken tuition. That sounds like I’m putting one through college. I meant chicken intuition.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t get too bun-y, now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-a210-5ebd-56dd-d8c93e272f93"><span>R “You ever had a double decker McFish?” L “No, I wouldn’t dare!”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1089: L “Today, let’s move at the speed of conversation, shall we?” “If your orange is black, don’t eat it anywhere, much less a shower.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We are in the age of the shower orange.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Like, anything that where I’m immediately cleansed after being dirty, it’s like, I’m into that!” R “That’s why we like bidets so much!” L “Yeah! I don’t like to have sustained dirtiness, but” R “Who does, really.” L “there’s something euphoric about getting dirty, right?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “But now, I don’t have any fruit trees. I feel fruitless. My life is fruitless now.” L “The shower orange thing has really made you existential.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-af5a-4da6-89d1-8f19bf5a0ae7"><span>L “Think about the beauty of the orange, as a thing. Like, just think about rollin’ up on one of these things if you never knew they existed.” “You’re robbing yourself of a happy moment.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1096: R “Turtle meat, that was my nickname in high school. There’s a little turtle meat. That’s what they said when I was coming, when I was on my way. ‘There’s a little turtle meat. Here he comes again!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1098: R “You’re such a good slicer!” “Pop on the far side then rake across.” “Don’t touch it! I’m the slimer!” “I’m a cake genius!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oh yeah, look at those numbers just flying off the edge, man!” “I feel like I’m dialing the world.” “Gimmie that Crayola rhythm. Not a sponsor.” “Stripe it, smooth it. Stripe it, smooth it. Spin it, stripe it, smooth it, lick it. Spin it, stripe it, smooth it. I wanted to try it, but now I’ve changed my mind!” “Never seen anybody eat a spun cake like that before.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-037c-9b0d-f56c-3e886dd64c65"><span>R “You give me a countdown. I’m gonna blow your mind.” L “99.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1106: R “It makes me so happy to eat things.” “And I know creaminess is a texture, but it feels like a taste in my heart right now...” “We look like we’ve had quite a Friday night.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “The flavor’s weak, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I mean, we’re professional tasters. We’re trying to bring the truth to you. Sometimes that means making a sacrifice. Sometimes that means just opening up your hatchet and just throwing in some,” L “Your hatchet.” R “-some seasoning.” L “That’s a knife, man. That’s like an axe!” R “Your hatch! I like to call mine a hatchet ‘cause it’s a small mouth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-286f-61e0-141e-4e13713b8bad"><span>GMMore: R “I feel like I’m just enjoying all the chips of my life!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1112: L “I’ve never smelled anything that made me wanna punch myself in the face!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t let the smellicorn swing! That’s the number one rule of having a smellicorn hanging between yourself!” “We excreted all of our wisdom juices right onto the pages of ‘Rhett and Link’s Book of Mythicality’ and you can waft it right into your shopping cart…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1113: R “Give everything a chance.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m descending into the gorge.” L “Go into the gorge!” R “I’m going down! Belay me!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Well, you’re doing great, cookie! Keep it up!” Colin “Alright, alright.” R “You just called him, ‘cookie’?” “You guys spend time together after work, long enough to give him a nickname like ‘cookie’?” L “I don’t know why I called him ‘cookie’. I thought it would butter him up so he could keep drinking.” Colin “Made me feel great.” L “You lookin’ good, cookie!” R “I’m uncomfortable.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Cookie’s being quiet. Cookie hadn’t made a noise yet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1114: L “This is just like I dreamed it would be.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-6633-87ef-a93e-6735dedc0e35"><span>R “What have you learned, Shepherd?” Shepherd “That it’s good to eat nachos off of people.” R “That’s right. These are the lessons that we teach in the McLaughlin family.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1121: R “I thought you said you’d never had a Dunkin Donuts sandwich before!” L “I haven’t.” R “How do you know what the outside tastes like?” L “Sometimes you just know.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Am I a partial genius?” R “I’d say you’re an academically gifted breakfast student.” L “Academically gifted breakfast student for the win!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-93ec-1137-ee6b-1e59682673a0"><span>GMMore: L “This is a breakfast smoup.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1123: R “Did you bring a horse in?” L “Nope, it’s me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You should just know I’m having more fun than I’ve had all day.” L “Jello, jello!” R “No,</span> <span>I’m</span> <span>having more fun.” L “Well, I know. You always have fun with jello!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Let’s get poppin’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Popcorn?” L “Close.” R “Oh! Corn corn!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What can we do with this skill we’re developing? Like, can we open a business of listening to people chew?” R “You think we’ve demonstrated skill?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1124: R “Okay, now let’s become women.” “I always wanted to say that to you.” “I’m attracted to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I look so hot!” L “What on earth?!” R “That’s what could have happened, man! You could be that’s best friend.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It doesn’t change you, man!” L “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Harry Styles looks like a hot Miss Piggy!” “When in doubt, blame the neural network.” “I made myself a woman and I became Allison Williams!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is me.” L “Well, yeah,” R “No.” L “that’s you.” R “That’s me run through the Spark filter once.” L “Oh. I guess I just gave you a really good compliment.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Who is that?!” L “I don’t know, but she’s going to the prom!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “A fully sparked Steve Buscemi.” R “Wow! You’re welcome, Steve!"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1125: L “They say that the eyes are the windows to the soul, but while you’ve been staring lovingly into the eyes of your lover, your feet are down there saying, ‘Hey! I’m the floor to ceiling soul window right here! I have a soul, and I’m a foot.’” R “Oh, I get it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You got rid of your foot blanket.” L “I trimmed it, and I just kept going all the way up.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Okay, I’m going to be doing a lot of foot touching, just so you know, and if you’re into that kind of thing, don’t tell us that you are in the comments. Okay, just stay here quietly and enjoy yourself, okay?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We used to wrestle, remember that?” L “No. Uh, we’ve never-oh, I didn’t mean to do that.” R “We went through, like, a UFC phase. We would UFC each other in our dorm room.” “We’ll talk about that later.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “My foot looks like one of those, like a foot sticker!” “I have an iconic foot, man!” L “You got a freakin’ foot cave!” “There’s like bats hiding under there.” “Stay out of my foot cave.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Pre-kids, I was a strong man.” “I know a little thing about your feet ‘cause as a child, I remember they called you ‘Flat Foot Neal.’” “Flat-footed people are the life of the party!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Narrow feet mean you enjoy being pampered.” R “That’s true. I love a hot tub.” L “You tend to be good” R “I love soft clothes.” L “at delegating tasks.” R “Oh, yeah, I get you to do everything.” L “And then I get Chase to do it. You desire beauty in your surroundings.” R “That’s true.” L “Which explains my presence.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You spend too much time bending over backwards for someone in your life. If that someone is me, don’t change.” “Do you bend over backwards for anyone in your life?” R “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’ve learned to deal with you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’ve been meaning to tell you all about my personal problems.” L “Now’s the time to do it.” R “On this show.” L “Just gush about it.” R “Now that you pointed out my curly toe.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t touch that one.” R “Why?” L “That’s the one thing in life I can’t stand when somebody grabs that toe. My kids do it to me and they know I can’t stand it.” “It’s like pinching a butterbean, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’ll own it. I am the boss.” R “See? This toe and my toe bending over sideways, bending over backwards for your bossy self.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>GOOD MYTHICAL SUMMER</strong></p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 969-1051tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-10-17:2452419:BlogPost:22365002016-10-17T01:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"><span>(Oct 16 2016)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, …</strong></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>(Oct 16 2016)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 668-815</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 816-968</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-1052-current" target="_blank">GMM 1052-Current</a></strong></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 969: R “If you want, you can also just read 1, 2, and 3 just by sounding out the letters.” L “E, I, C, U, P, P.” R “No, you don’t. I don’t let you watch.” L “Like I’ve been asking.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Who needs letters when you have a dookie emoji?” “If I just pretend like I’m seeing things sharply, I will!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Do my bidding, humans of the earths. I am here to farm your cities.” R “You think this is what aliens are gonna be like?” L “Yeah, it’s only in the eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 970: L “Release the noodle kraken!” "Plugs are a sinker." “Good song, good soup, good times.” "Get well one bite at a time!" “I don’t like to just bite a whole chicken. That’s not becoming of a man.” “Happy man, happy hands.” “My life flashed before my eyes and it looked like chicken.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both (singing) “I need a chicken noodle soup bath, a chicken noodle soup bath. Just do the math. Sick plus chicken soup equals a chicken noodle soup bath.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It's warm. Let's get in." R "I peed on myself 'cause you played the mouth trumpet." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d1c7-468a-e38f-decc81ffc915">R “What are the chances that I stepped on the chicken?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 971: L “This might ruint cereal for me! I don’t wanna do that!” R “I don’t think that’s possible.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Welcome to Sushi Land. I’m the captain. Everything will be okay if you just listen.” “Roll, roll, roll your boat. Right to Graceland.” “Trees is plants. Plants is vegetables. Vegetables is food!” “It’s just a spider! I’m a human! I eat animals!” “Spiders got seeds!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You know what, gravy, I am sorry that I forgot about you for a second.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “In what kind of apocalyptic world do you intend to live in where you’re gonna be eating sushi with toilet paper encased in rice, seaweed, more toilet paper and what appears to be twigs?” R “That’s shavings from the cardboard roll!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d31e-122f-8c9c-b7aac1b1e44a">Both: “Spiders is animals, animals is pigs, pigs is bacon.” R “Spiders is bacon.” Both “Spiders is animals, animals is meat, meat is pig, pig is bacon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 972: R “Don’t turn a party into a farty unless you’re leaving.” L “ Yes! Don’t turn a party into a farty, parenthetically, unless you’re exiting, leaving. Put that on a t-shirt!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Our first song that we wrote was called ‘Farting Girl’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 973: R “What are the chances that we get to see the owner interact with the Dillie?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I could watch this forever.” L “We could watch this forever, but I think that’s another channel and it’s called, ‘Rhett and Link watch Dillie cam dot com.’” R “I’ll be back, Dillie! I will be back!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...we don’t want to put things in too much perspective.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “When you make a decision to put up a webcam in your front yard, it adds a sense of expectation which adds a sense of interest to your life.” “...would you ever have the idea to put Hulk in a convertible in your front yard if you didn’t have a webcam?” “This is a good dad!” “Would you rather be completely mentally healthy or have an interesting life?” “I’m just saying that the webcam makes life interesting and it doesn’t matter what happens to your family.” “Adoptive parents are parents. Put that on a bumper sticker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d397-04c4-bbb7-5b7a9a718aa8">L “That’s how you determine if you should adopt a cat. If the tail stays up, take it home. If the tail goes down,” R “Walk out slowly.” L “drop it down.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 974: L “I scale all things to human.” “That’s not the first time I’ve had that experience. Somebody wheels out some dog food. I’m like, ‘Mhm!’” “I like your boots. Can I carry your saddle?” “Remember, outward appearances are not a reliable indicator of true character.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...and they had an agreement as kids and they said, if we’re not shaking it up by the time we’re adults, that’s where the shack comes in, the man says, I’m turning to ducks.” L “For what?” R “I mean, you know. Companionship.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I give you a B minus because you were sexist.” R “Okay, I apologize for that. I wasn’t being sexist, I was assuming they were being sexist. Sorry.” L “Taken. Accepted.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Welcome to my chamber. I’m the oily one. I’ll give ya a knee to the face and a kiss to the mouth.” “We’re good at this, man. We found our calling.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d3d9-9bb1-8c2d-8a81e8c5ebfb"><span>R "I'm not a street fighter, I'm a street lover. Can we play street lover?" L “Next week, Rhett. Next week.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 975: L “Sometimes if I buy a lot of products, I get sweaty!” “It’s tickling my wickle!” “You get to be the Bellow Fellow!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is the bi-product of two teenagers making out behind a garage or something.” “As a wood lover, I’m kinda a little bit ashamed of myself that I needed a hint for that.” "It's kind of a nice smell. We have a tobacco flavored candle in our in our room, in our office, that I call our room!"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d3ed-def3-05a2-95f38eb0ab7b"><span>L “Mrs. Wacos used to put my nose in the corner.” R “What?” L “In history class.” R “She never did that to me!” L “Well, you weren’t punished. Good for you!” R “I can say all 100 counties in North Carolina. Pasquotank.” L “Ugh, this stanks. This pasquostanks!”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 976: R “I miss fried chicken, man. We don’t eat it enough! The world needs more fried chicken!” “This is nirvana for me. Blindfolded with just new chicken legs just coming in and I just put my lips all over ‘em, put my face on ‘em and then I eat ‘em!” “I wanna eat it with my eyes!” “I’m a chicken loser!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wanna put my whole body on this!” L “You want a chicken skin bed spread?” R “I want a chicken skin bed spread! Somebody make-we should make that!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “All I know is that I’m one happy man right now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, you’re crowned the chicken king!” L “Sing a song to me.” R (singing) “He is the chicken king. He’s like Levar Burton, but he uses chicken to see. (stops singing) This is the best song I’ve ever come up with!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Every birthday, I got a bucket of extra crispy KFC. That was my tradition. And I did that probably from age 6 to age 12...” “Ralph’s chicken. I stand by Ralph. I will stand by Ralph all day.” “I wanna shake the person’s hand that fried that chicken.” “I’m actually a all-bird man. That’s why I wore my bird shirt today to shout-out to all parts of all birds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m a dark man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 977: R “Keep that birdie in your pockets, kids.” “Baby lips might be a good thing to keep, though…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “On the Neal side of my family, as a kid, we would kiss each other on the lips. But on the Pate(?) side of the family, my mom’s side of the family, we wouldn’t kiss on the lips.” R “So you got the herpes from the Neal’s.” L “That’s a good point, but no. That came from my mom’s side.” R “Really?” L “Yeah.” R “Oh, they knew they had herpes and so they-” L “That’s what it was! You put it together!” R “Mystery solved!” L “And I gave it to my dad’s side of the family!” R “Oh, man. You’re patient zero, Link!” L “Of the Neal Herpes outbreak!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d597-c602-8b70-468fe2cecf8b"><span>R “That’s freaking me out!” L “That’s Chase’s face inside Lincoln on a penny!” R “Whoa! That’s the best thing ever, guys!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 978: R (singing->) “Beans! You know what I mean. It’s beans! Sometimes they come in strings and sometimes they’re green and sometimes they’re round. Even when the music stops, you eat them out of the ground! Beans!” “Go to the Boys Home.” “Hi. My name is Bartholomew. I spend a lot of time alone. You should join me sometime because I wear sweatpants.” “But you should come and spend some time with me on my sofa.” “I have a pair for you. You should wear them and together we will be sweatpant buddies. It’ll be the best time of both of our lives.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-78ec-e399-0742-654d317a08f9">L "One hour with me, two hours with me, three hours divided by love equals rainbows." "You know how the kids do 'homework'.''</span> </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 979: R “It’s never a bad time for a Green Day shout out. That’s what i’ve learned in life!” L “As a matter of fact, I love Green Day! Congratulations on your new album, Green Day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0cd-34ac-327f-b6e19a3a832a">L “I know that Snapchat's go away after a while, unless they’re ours and then someone puts them on YouTube immediately. Thanks for that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d598-07e6-a27a-b268c6ae7201"><span>GMM 980: R “Don’t just be riding the wave, be pushing the water!” L “I’m flattered that you think I can push the water!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 981: L “This is a flag!” R “A flag of what?” L “A country, you dork!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “In some strange way you seem so reasonable right now.” L “It’s strange for me to ever seem reasonable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Turns out that’s what a snake is! Just more neck!” L “All neck, all the time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We make a good team! We should do the teammate thing more often.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Why you gotta be so elk-centric?” R “I’m sorry I’m biased towards elk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t get canned. That’s gonna be my motto in the apocalypse.” “As you always know, eating the brain of an animal is an opportunity to consume its thoughts.” “The tongue cannot sense thoughts. Learned that a long time ago.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0be-1911-0ae7-0ee55bce3517">“But I really like kissing and I’m here to say that I’m not going to stand for this. I mean, look at these lips. Look at ‘em. You can’t deny the power of this! And look at this tongue!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0ba-0f52-2ef6-1a872a44cae6">R “It just looks like thoughts.” L “I have a thought. It’s not to eat this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d598-438d-e8ab-f7032f5cb3ac"><span>GMM 982: R “Hey, man! Precision is important in this game! Can you not tell by the way I’m dressed?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 983: Grace “Mamrie, you look like you just got back from the game show, ‘Survivor.’” L “You did not win.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How did you know that?” Hannah “I grew up around a lot of dirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Mrs. Butterworths. She tastes better when she’s on you.” “We’re the biggest losers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You look like a knight!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Grace “This is not good for any of us!” Mamrie “It’s in my brain! You look like Frankenstein now!” L “Ugh! Me have potting soil!” Mamrie “Here, make sure you can see how dumb you look.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Okay, I want to quickly explain the reason that all of you guys are still wearing what you wore and I am in something different is because I discovered very soon after I got out there to hose off a little bit, that I was having an allergic reaction to syrup! I’ve been eating syrup all my life!” Mamrie “Yeah, but not on the outside!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Hannah “It was a strong spoon though, it was more like two ladles just holding each other.” L “We ladled each other.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Grace “Are you auditioning for our next movie?” L “I’ma be the ‘eat it’ guy! Eat it! Please put me in your movie. I’ll ladle anyone.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 984: L “I’d live in a ranch with some horses, miniature!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When you wear the right Victorian garb, it’s called, approprian.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Her dress has feelings.” R “It’s just like those Jnco jeans that we used to wear. You couldn’t sneak up on us ‘cause you would touch us from, like, four feet away!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “That shirt really looks like something a doctor would wear.” R “Doctors these days, they don’t dress up anymore. Have you been to the doctor recently? Last time I went to a doctor, he had a tank top on.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Rhett, don’t lie to me about tank tops and doctors. It either happened or it didn’t. Don’t lie about it.” R “He calls himself, ‘the Tanktopter.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 985: L “Tastes like alcohol-infused cheetos.” “Bring a shoe shiner on every murder adventure.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I know it doesn’t seem like a lot is going on, but all hell is breaking loose for little microorganisms right now. They are experiencing the worst day of their lives right now and I wish that we could-” L “It’s like a warzone!” R “capture that with some-you know what, we’ve added side effects now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think I’ve been eating bacteria all over my food!” L “Alive bacteria. Now, you’re eating dead bacteria. It’s different.” R “And it was fun! That’s the thing.” L “We had so much fun.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Who left my bucket of blood by the door?” R “Murder blood!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “If I could be a gorilla, I would!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Jen (reading) “From Christopher Sheeran, he says, ‘How can I make it look like I cleaned the house without actually cleaning?” L “That goes against everything I believe in, first of all.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love cleaning.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 986: L “Lots of almond milk gonna be squeezed during the apocalypse.” “This apocalyptic Christmas, give yourself the gift of schmilk!” “They should have spelled chocolate with two K’s, too. They should have gone all the way, you know? ‘Khokolate.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I got rid of it. I washed it out.” L “Is that the technique?” R “Yeah, you gotta have a cup of water at all times.” L “We’re gonna have those in the apoc?” R “Don’t shorten, we have all, nothing but time in the apocalypse. You don’t need to come up with abbreviations.” L “I’m just trying to make friends with the apocalypse.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You wanna have, be a friend with a schmilk face.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d65d-e704-12dd-06690374de08"><span>R “This is Chrischmas time!” L “Chrischmas in the apocalypse.” R “Chrischmas in the apocalypse it’s time for schmilk.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 987: R “Sometimes, grandpa attacks!” “If you tie the tubes in London, the whole city shuts down. You tie the tubes in America, just one woman doesn’t have anymore babies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (singing, playing recorder)</p>
<p dir="ltr">“Let me tell you about a friend of mine.</p>
<p dir="ltr">His name is Rhett and he’s pretty cool.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Sorry that didn’t rhyme but anyway.</p>
<p dir="ltr">He’ll be your friend too if you get in his way.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Look at his hair.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta nights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Gets it just rights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Look at his beard.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Glad that it’s back. It was awkward,</p>
<p dir="ltr">when it was gone.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spend a lotta nights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spend a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">He comes up with ideas,</p>
<p dir="ltr">that no one else could think about,</p>
<p dir="ltr">and then he tells ‘em to ya.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Says, ‘don’t take credit for my ideas,’</p>
<p dir="ltr">but I do anyway in lots of times.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Thank you.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Switching it up.</p>
<p dir="ltr">But it sounds the same.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta nights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Doesn't’ ever rhyme on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">You can climb on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Not really, that’s made weird.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Once upon a time,</p>
<p dir="ltr">I met Rhett in first grade.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">(slower song)</p>
<p dir="ltr">“Oh, Rhett, </p>
<p dir="ltr">you have been a friend to me</p>
<p dir="ltr">and even though I</p>
<p dir="ltr">have a hurt in my heart,</p>
<p dir="ltr">you stand by my side</p>
<p dir="ltr">and you pat me on the shoulder</p>
<p dir="ltr">when I have hurt in my heart.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta nights on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Monkey bars climb on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Spends a lotta time on it.</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bcae-174a-d618-ead868e1162f">Spends a lotta nights on it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>988: R “...we’re gonna call him ‘Phil,’ after Bill Murray’s character in ‘Groundhog Day’...If you haven’t seen that movie, what is wrong with you? You should watch it now.” L “Well, there was also a movie called, ‘Deja Vu,’ that starred Denzel Washington. Have you seen that?” R “Uh, yep, I have, but I don’t remember it.” L “But if I showed it to you again now, would you remember it?” R “That is a great question!” L “That would be deja vu!” R “Yes it would!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-dab5-d9e7-353d-96497608531e"><span>L “I don’t like to watch movies twice...but I get frustrated if I’m rewatching a movie. I’m like, I could be watching a movie I’ve never seen. Why am I watching this one again?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 989: R “I feel very pretty.” “I mean, I look beautiful. Look at that!” “Your bangs have to make a statement. Your bangs have to say, ‘I reach, I reach for the sky!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Bangs are supposed to go down.” R “No, they’re supposed to BANG!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc8e-662a-1619-95276137e560">L “Do i get extra points for cutting myself in the last round?” R “You cut your finger? Oh gosh, of course you did.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Alex "When in doubt, vas it up, huh?" "Put 'vas it up' on a t-shirt and sell it."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Gotta vas it up!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 990: R “What feels like a zomp today?” “Every sasquatch I’ve ever seen had pink socks on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Zomp!” L “Zomp it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You got zomped!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R (singing) “That’s not paint, that’s not paint. That’s water, that’s water!” L “That’s paint, that’s paint! Link hand got dirty!</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc80-3811-03c4-36d3cd416ab7">L “Hey, look. I’m like Finn from Star Wars!” R “You’ve already messed yourself up, man.” L “It was for a good joke about Star Wars!” R “It was great, it was great.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 991: R “I call the world, ‘baby.’ When something makes you call the world ‘baby,’ you know you struck gold.” “Yes. Yes, sir. Yes, ma’am. Yes to everyone.” “My mom says, ‘did you do a BM?’ She’ll call me today! She’ll say, ‘have you done your BM today?’ and I’m like, ‘not yet, momma. I’ll call you when I do. I’ll text you when I’m on the throne.’” “Chewing is a form of rubbing.” “You got a backwards mouth, man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Man, this is a diaritto! That’s what we should be calling this!” “I’m not your friend anymore.” “Just swallow a big packet of awful.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0ad-3c76-f4ae-0d7b010cf3b5"><span>R “It’s all stars!” L “We’re eating the stars.” R “Everything is stars! Everything is stars and that makes everything okay! You can eat anything because it’s all stars.” L “You’re an all-star.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 992: R "That sends the aliens away, though. You bring 'em in with Fran and you send them out with Yoko." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “We’re all being probed right now by invisible, wireless-” R “Right now! At all times!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s not your butthole, it’s your entire self. It’s the whole planet’s butthole is being probed constantly and everything that aliens want to know is being ascertained right now!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I like how you say, alien counter.” R “Alien counter. Yeah, you put ‘em together.” L “Come over to my house. We’ve just done some renovations. I have an amazing xquisite alien counter that we eat on.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d09c-a755-6a7a-3200b284ff2f"><span>R “I think, put that on a t-shirt: ‘We have an amazing xquisite alien counter. Welcome.’” L “That’s a tourist attraction, but we should open it.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 993: R “Every time I’ve ever gotten inside of a washing machine, I’ve had a singlet on.” L “Right, ‘cause that’s the best way to get a singlet clean is to stay in it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “By the time I was 30, I had a chin strap.” L “You looked great, Rhett!” R “And very poofy! Poofy hair!” L “Well, you were compensating for the bare cheeks.” “I meant your face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I don’t know if you knew it, but Mike has always been poised to skateboard behind us-” R “To confirm skateboarding facts, only! That’s one of the only things we let him do around here.” L “I think he can confirm all types of stuff.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “As we all know, if you want a good laughing story, go to hell!” “If you wanna get run over by a truckload of kids in a pickup, don’t go flareside.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc74-8ee4-1d6f-3cf6b0ddaa57">R “Grab him by the belt and shake his hand. That’s how you congratulate a man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 994: R “I just ate a banana later, earlier. I do that thing where I went into the future and ate...” "It's common knowledge that wool makes you itch and it also attracts all the ladies." “Have a Chilly Willy on me, Link! Literally, have one on me! There’s some on me and you can have one! This is a good color scheme for me. I look good in red, blue, and green.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc68-fdfb-299a-83794c435a6a">R “Man, this is what best friendship is all about! I mean how many friends do you have out there that you can have Honey Nut Cheerio hand cereal with?” L “Unapologetically.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "So wrong, it's right." R "Yeah, I mean, I know this is socially awkward for us and for you, but the thing I want you to know is that we feel great about this. Our hands don't itch-" L "I wonder if a banana would make it more awkward." R "No, no, no! Keep bananas out of this! Keep the bananas out of this!" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 995: R (reading) “‘Link, your face looks like a hummus hoagie.’” L “I’ve been told that before.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading) “‘Rhett’s so lame, I ship Link with Chase.’ Especially weird coming from me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (reading) “‘My last tennis match took place on Link’s forhead.’” “Put your freaking leg out there, Neal!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “There are no winners in this game except for Alex Trebek.” L “Who is Alex Trebek.” R “Colonial Penn, maybe.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 996: R “I gotta tell ya that the feel of the donut on my face affected me emotionally.” L “What?” R “Makes me cry, I loved everything about it…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I will say, this is a great day at the office!” “Being killed by Krispy Kreme on the internet is not a bad thing.” “My lanta, that’s a good donut!” “That is the best donut I’ve ever had in my life!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Krispy Kreme donuts receive you!” “I’m the donut king but I will let you into my court as long as you wipe that off your chin.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I've been wearing clean underwear pretty much everyday since I got a good, just a good internet paddling." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "The donut king will keep you for his entertainment. Dance, dance away. I do not approve." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 997: L “Also, back in the 1930s, they would wipe with corn cobs.” R “Oh, I’ve done that.” L “When you get done with your street corn, just send it south.” R “Well, you gotta let it dry. Don’t do it with wet corn.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading) “...or Larry King, Betty White, and Willie Nelson?” R “Oh, I’d be there for that!” L “That’d be a great party.” R “I’d line right up!” L (singing) “On the toilet again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-dab6-1a0a-eeaa-1627bbe712c7"><span>L “Clever girl! Clever girl, getting plunged!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 998: R “Love when we get to go to Florida! Love it!” L “Mhm-hmm. It’s so spicy down there!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc12-cd64-4b91-ea7c851495b8">R “Visit Florida, where when you wake up from a nightmare, you wake up into a nightmare!” "If you're starting a band in Florida right now, please, please, for my sake, call it 'Caning Gators.'" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Whenever you’re gonna sleepwalk in Florida, make sure you bring lights.” “Holy Toledo.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The Redwood Forest Foundation will plant ten Redwood trees in Northern California Redwood Forest as an enduring tribute to Rhett McLaughlin a loving gift from Link Neal, his friend, and the Good Mythical Crew, his employees. These trees will grow tall and strong like Rhett. They will forever be known as the ten Rhettwood trees.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I want all my trees chipped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 999: R “I’m not comfortable suggesting this, but I kinda feel like we’re gonna have to hit the deck for this one. I think we’re gonna have to lay down together.” L “Is Flavortown down there?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Can I take this opportunity to say, check out our new series, ‘Buddy System’.” R “Yeah, that’s right! It’s better than this!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This just in! Toenails are candy, especially mine! Beat ya to it. Eat my candy.” R “Um, I-I-I’m-just had, I don’t wanna spoil my dinner. I really don’t wanna spoil my dinner. I had-” L “It’s dinner candy.” R “I don’t-I-I, After dinner, I’ll definitely, maybe the little one after dinner.” L “What? We haven’t been close enough already today?” R “Well, we’ve been too close.” L “Exactly.” R “I’ve still got you on me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-bc14-385f-9255-9ef4008d0cd9">GMMore: R “So when we’re given the opportunity to make something on this scale, we jump at it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1000: L “I got that internet runner’s high!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-dab7-fe27-3a63-447d64ee171c"><span>R “If you have 1000 dollars, you can get 2227 Chicken McNuggets!” L “If you buy them in 10 pack.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L "...we want to make you guys feel special" R "Yes." L "because, obviously, we couldn't have made it to one thousand episodes without you, mythical beasts, watching and being, you know, a committed part of our community and, not just someone who watches, but a community member, and we do really appreciate that. So what we wanted to do is, we wanted to create something special that you could own to commemorate experiencing the one thousandth episode along with us-" R "And it's literally a token of our appreciation." L "A token, yeah." R "We were saying, we wanted to come up with a token of our appreciation-" L "And then we're like, 'why not a token?'" R "An actual freaking token." L "We have minted a coin to commemorate this, the one thousandth episode of GMM." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Kinda feels like the Home Shopping Network right now."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>R "...just like what we said on that first episode, when we made this show, we had you in mind. You know, we had been doing other types of content, music videos and sketches and that kind of thing," L "Commercials." R "but those weren't about a community. That was more about, 'just, hey, look, it's something that's funny.' And this show was much more having an ongoing conversation and this community has become much bigger than anything we ever anticipated and it means more than we ever thought. This started as a side project...and now, it's the main thing we're doing." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It really is an honor to be able to make this show, I mean, it really is! We have a lot of fun. We also, at the same time, we take it very seriously, but, and we do really feel connected to you guys, but seeing a video like that is extremely moving and it makes us very grateful." R "That's the kind of thing that can only come through in a video. We don't necessarily get, you know, your comments mean a lot, but when we see you guys in your setting, where you watch the show, saying those things, it means a lot." L "Yeah, so, thank you for that."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1001: L “Gluten is the glue that holds food together.” “I think soy sauce, alone, is an ill-fated adventure.” “...when in doubt, guess what Rhett didn’t.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We’re gonna need a bigger noodle.” “Man, I miss you, meatballs. I miss you so much. What happened?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I am going to be a politician after 60. I haven’t told you this.” L “I’ll drive the bus!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c434-f6aa-0930-38af949e2dc9">R “I love a good meatball, man. Man, I don't’ get enough meatballs. Something happened with me and meatballs.” L “Rhett needs more meatballs in his life!” R “I had, like, a breakup with meatballs and we never talked about it! We just drifted apart! How did that happen?” L “Well, my mom brings ‘em into my life every Christmas.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1002: R “Who’s interested in safety? Not Flavor Flav. Flavor Flav doesn’t give a crap about his body.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “You need one social media that is everything. We should invent this. We should call it, ‘Nexxus.’” L “Isn’t that a phone?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What should we call it, Alex?”... Alex “I guess we can call it, ‘Meatball, the service.’” R “You said ‘smeat’ first.” Alex “Yes.” L “Smeatball.” R “Smeatball the service.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Well, there ya go. We have a star in our midst and we didn’t even know it.” L “Oh, I knew it.” R “He had been sitting on this the whole freakin’ time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1003: L “I mean, the thing is, I know how an elephants work nowadays,” R “You do?” L “Yeah, man. I study the heck out of elephants in photo form.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s what they call me at the steak restaurant.” L “‘Wedge beast?’” R “Yeah, ‘cause I get that wedge salad! ‘Oh, the wedge beast is back!’” L “You go beast on that salad!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Lizzie “What that is, it’s called a tooth whirl, which sounds like something a hillbilly dentist might call its practice.” R “Welcome to the tooth whirl!” L “I don’t know what to do, but I’ll give it a whirl!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘What’s a mule?’ That’s a question for another day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-db1a-95ca-96f9-dd85e73c9bd4"><span>GMMore: L “Rhett dreams to find fossils, but he’s never done it.” R “Rhett dreams to find fossils. He’s always dreaming for the fossils.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1004: L “If you try to get everything, you get nothing.” “Is it a female gorilla if it’s a woman in a gorilla suit?” “Don’t spit in my mug!” “But I do believe in Sasquatch now!” “Keep that! That’s a good look for you, George Michael.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re acting like you’ve never seen your diary before. ‘Them some big lips, somebody kissed my diary.’ This is your freaking diary! I found it on your desk!” L “No, I don’t think that’s my diary. I think you went through a lot of trouble to impersonate what you think my diary would be. I keep a journal, man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How did you not see Bigfoot?” L “Are you talking about the female Sasquatch?” R “How did you miss that?” L “I don’t know. Maybe ‘cause it is female. It is anatomically correct.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “See, I’m a good guesser and you’re a good draw-er.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1005: R “Don’t crush the dreams of future goat experts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "Don't put your head in ketchup if it looks like a potato." “Buy a ticket on the log flume ride.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Your demo fades out?" L "Yeah. I wanted to leave you wanting more of the creepy!" R "Ugh, wow. I don't want anymore." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1006: R “Oh gosh! Is that your jaw making that noise?” L “Mhm-hmm.” R “I been telling ya, you need to get that looked at.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When I realize that it’s your breath, it’s horrible, but when I just think of it as a food for me, I like it!” “I have the breath of a baby.” “I’m a good smeller!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Whatever that is, is how your breath normally smells! Like, I actually smell beard in it.” “I just smell normal dude breath!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I just feel like I just got a asthma treatment! I don’t even have asthma yet! Sign me up for asthma after that!” R “Don’t put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You’ve got a talent! You make bad things smell good in breath form!” ...R “You’re good at knowing what it is just by listening. We’ll have to do that another time.” L “Yeah, ‘what am I biting just by listening.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Shout out to Slim Goodbody.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-e84b-efb3-81db-d24f51cad868"><span>R “That’s what I’m gonna be for Halloween, man. I’m gonna be ‘a balloon and that face.’”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1007: L "Serial killers do the darnedest things!" "A lot of clown hysteria going around these days. We shouldn't be adding to it, but we are." "If you wanna date a serial killer, do it with a wall in between you and him, preferably a prison wall." "You're being so weird today." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Oo, there's a spooky shield down there with a skull on it!" R "That's not a shield. That's what they call a tombstone, Neal."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Don't mind him. He's with me." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "BTK. I'm surprised I didn't know what that meant." L "Bind, torture, kindly install your ADT Home Security System." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1008: R "I've got another hellhole for ya: New Jersey..." "The devil loves drainage pipes!" "I thought the devil'd be more of a bourbon man, but, you know, I'll go along with this." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "He has slain Satan and he is drinking from his horn." "Get ready to be spooked out of your boots!" "Grip your grippies!" "Odor's out, demons in. Not a sponsor!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I like Snooki, man! I'm not scared of Snooki. Long live Snooki." L "Don't be afraid of no Snooki."</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Both scream) L "I just got myself!" R "Ah, you jerk!" L "I got you, I got you, and I got me!" R "You knew that was gonna happen-" L "I knew that was gonna happen!" R "and you still reacted to it?" L "Yes! I can't help it man!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "When you opened this, what was the first thing you said?" R "I was like, 'oh yeah, my mead horn!'" L "Your what?" R "MY MEAD HORN!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "What I like about is that, well, it represents that my wife is very attentive. She sees me mention something one time and then, ba-dow, I get it for my birthday!" L "BA-DOW!" R "You know, and that's impressive so thank you, baby, for this." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "What?! I turned into a castle?!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "We gotta go paragliding and you gotta be wearing rocket boosters." L "And I will do it fearlessly." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Maybe you should just grow dreadlocks. Maybe that's what your next haircut is. Let's just keep it simple."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1009: R “...but if you want to embrace your inner Halloweenie then, uh, that came out wrong, but just hang on…” L “Welcome to my world.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Well, I’ll tell ya, I’ve lived a lot of life, well, I’ve lived the life that I’ve lived,” R “I’ve lived a lot of life, man.” L “and all the life that I’ve lived, I’ve liked it. I’ve liked living it,” R “Really? All of it?” L “and I think that when I die, I’ll be like, ‘I’d like to keep doing the life thing.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L (singing) “Bring in the Chase head ‘cause Chase’s head is dead. Oooo, oooo. Bring in the Chase head. Chase’s head is dead. Oooo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Chase singing: “I love trains and the railroads.” “Conductors and cabooses.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-2a7a-1fac-b1a2-690ad52a0be8"><span>R&L “That was the part that we haven’t gotten to. (trying to sing in unison) Sometimes when I’m on the train, I look out the window longingly at the scenery and the conductor doesn’t like me and it makes me sad.” (speaking) R “Man, we should record that.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1010: R “Once you get one hole in a hoodie, you just keep getting holes in a hoodie.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Quick! Red wire or blue wire or green wire or yellow wire or purple wire?” Lizzie “Isn’t is always not the red wire?” L “Is that your answer?” Lizzie “Yeah.” L “Cut it! Cut it!” (Lizzie motions cutting a wire) L “You saved us. Hashtag squad goals!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You got a, there’s like a DV tape here?” Kevin “Uh-huh.” R “Oh, what is that?” Kevin “What does that say?” R “It says ‘LOCKLEAR MOVIE FINAL’. Hold on, you’ve got our old documentary from ten years ago on there?” Kevin “Apparently, I do!” R “Mhmm.” L “Guys, that shouldn’t be propped. Don’t go in that box for props.” R “How did that-” L “That’s called an ‘archive’, not a prop box.” R “Wow, it got made into a costume!” Kevin “We could watch that if you want.” R “Yep.” Kevin “I got a TV in the van.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Who goes trick-or-treating in the morning?” R “Banana and corn do!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1011: R “It’s like a Cadbury Creme Egg in all the best ways you can imagine!” L “Bringing Easter to Halloween like no one else can, guys!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Corn sugar sugar and sugar sugar!” (singing->) “Sugar time! Sugar time with your meat stick!” “That’s a theme song for a movie that I don’t recommend renting.” “Demon kids running for the hills!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Didn’t think I could do that. I’m like a gecko, man. Put something on my eye, watch me get it. Don’t do it.” L “You blocked me! What’s this? The NBA?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Okay, there he is. There’s the ol’ Link. For a second, I thought you had achieved superhuman levels of resistance, man.” L “Uh, it’s so black. It’s black like the thoughts I’m having right now.” R “I’m sorry. I did not mean to do that. That was obscene. I did not mean to do that in front of you. I was trying to get it down.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Just think about what all those demon kids are eating, trick-or-treating? I mean, it’s worth for the demon children.” R “Where have you seen the demon children?” L “Knocking on my door asking for candy every Christmas, I mean, Thanksgiving, I mean, Halloween.” R “That’s when the demon children show up, Christmas.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-2fe0-7768-0a67-4cd55e45f177"><span>R “Let me see yours. You show you mine- oh!” L “You show you mine, I show me yours.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1012: R “As you can see, we finally came to a decision for our Halloween costumes. We were going to be Batman and Robin, but as you might expect, we could not agree on who would be Batman.” L “Mhmm.” R “So we are Robin and Taller Robin.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I love giving myself fives with these gloves!” “Robin wasn’t as cool as us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “A lot of people don’t know this, but on the backside of the mountain, they actually have the president’s butts carved and there’s little doors that you can go right in and up to the presidential mouths.” L “Right. They call that-” R “The presidential backdoor.” L “They call it ‘the presidential suite.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I think this mask makes me stupid. I knew I should have been Batman!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1013: R “Before we get started, mythical beasts, we wanna let you know about something very special and that is that we have just launched a brand new product! It is Rhett and Link’s Mythical Pomade!” “Gonna make bathing great again.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Make your hair mythical with premium hair spread. Head spread.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Have you ever looked at a giant rock and thought, ‘man, I wish I could bathe in that’?” R “Actually, yes.” L “I bet you have.” R “Yeah, yeah. You gotta remember your audience here, Link.” L “I’ve looked at giant rocks and said, ‘I wish I could sunbathe on that.’” R “Like a lizard.” L “Like a naked lizard.” R “Like an iguana. Well, most lizards are already naked.” L “And so was I.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “It smells good. It smells clean and smart and funny.” R “Clean and smart and funny. Everything you want to be.” L “It smells popular. It smells like…’oh, I’m getting a date.’” R “Really? It smells like you’re getting a date?” L “Not, ‘I’m on a date.’” R “Now don’t make promises that we can’t fulfill.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-3b88-a18e-ed22-9376cc9ba333"><span>R “If it was just up to me, if I was the only person who existed on Earth, I would have either one large dread or just a buzz cut. Those are the only two functional haircuts as far as I’m concerned, but we live in a culture where there are expectations placed on just this weird hair that’s on top of your head and you have to fulfill those expectations in a mythical way, or you are given the opportunity to fulfill those expectations. I do that with Rhett and Link’s Mythical Pomade!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1014: L “Don’t Steven Seagal my arm.” “Outlaw that person’s leg! That should not go on the internet, people.” “My hammies are so tight, so stressed, need someone- okay.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Now, first of all, I have a really pointy elbow, like a deathly point elbow.” L “Is that from an incident?” R “No, it’s</span> <span>for</span> <span>an incident!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Oh gosh, look at the skin!” L “What is that, Rhett?” R “‘Cause I have such a point, the skin’s gotta go somewhere when I go like this!” L “That is like the flap under a chicken neck.” R “Don’t pull it so much, man! That’s nasty!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ow! Why you gotta pinch me?” R “Don’t touch my skin, man! Don’t touch my elbow skin!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And listen, I see you freaks making fun of me for my elbow skin. I’m proud of it, I just don’t like it to be caressed.” “They’re just super pointy! That’s another test. A sign of intelligence.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Congratulations, Link. You’re the flex king!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Charleston. You’re about to have some nice grits at a restaurant.” "You know when something becomes such an important part of your life, you think it was always there and you take it for granted?" “Shout-out to you guys, Ant and Dec.” “Do I look peaked? I feel peaked.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The best shrimp and grits I’ve ever had was in Charleston, South Carolina.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Let’s go to brunch.” R “K. Where do you wanna go?” L “Uhh.” R “Someplace that has mimosas?” L “Huh! We deserve it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1015: L “Call me if you want the pizza horn.” “Do whatever you want, (sustaining a D note) I’m going to sing a D no matter what.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Dangit! I’m always going one freakin’ note up! Maybe that’s a special skill.” L “No, it’s not.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (singing) “Oh, Linkypoo. Mhmm. Linkypoo, you know what you can do, anything you want me to. Anything at all. Anything at all, me and Craig, are here for you. We’re here for you, Linkypoo. Yeeeaahh.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-4fd7-4845-ed0d-b4cc397cadeb"><span>GMMore: L (reading a letter) “‘Who is this giant viking-looking guy with big fingernails beside Ryan Adams? That’s Rhett.’” R “Big fingernails? What do you mean? From there to there or they were, like, outgrown?” L “I think just the surface area of your fingernails is rather big.” R “I’m not gonna deny that!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1016: L “Figure us out. That’s going to be a challenge!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Whenever I used to make out with that CPR mannequin, that’s what it tasted like.” R “The one at your mom’s work?” L “My mom trained to be an EMT and you had to do mouth-to-mouth.” R “And you made out with it?” L “Well, I did CPR on it when no one was looking.” R “You did French CPR.” L “Oui, oui!” … L “It tastes like Annie! Her name was Annie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Gosh, Annie. Where have you been hanging out, Annie?” L “They called her Annie. You know how, in that Smooth Criminal, he was like, ‘Annie are you okay? Annie are you okay?’ That’s what you’d say before you did CPR.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t know if it’s just the redneck in me that likes something when you put cheese flavor in it.” L “Would you like parmesan with that? Yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But I think that we may be picking the best redneck sauce. I think that’s what’s happening.” L “Well, we might be the best rednecks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “What is “piede”? Lizzie (laughing) “It’s feet. I made it with my feet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-636f-71fc-211f-a8e0c8cfa63f"><span>L “This is Lizzie’s idea of a prank. You know, the way that you just laughed at us added six months to your life!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1017: L (singing ->) “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 1,064?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And to help us with the board today, please welcome Stevie! She’s extraordinary at removing center tiles from boards!” R “I’m a big fan of her as well!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...cats are like, they don’t even have souls, man.” L “I agree with that.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I know animals so well, man! I’m a party animal!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading->) “Big Bertha isn’t just what you name that atypical mole on your back-” R “Shout-out to Buddy System!“</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Both “All jerky, all the time!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I appreciate cat lovers.” L “I like cats. I like the idea of cats.” R “I like kittens.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m a dark meat man.” “Here we go, Gilbert. Doin’ a little food challenge. Woo-wee, Gilbert! We’ve made it to the big time! Chewin’ on taffy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Chicken ain’t denture cream. You can probably get chicken-flavored denture cream.” “If two things occur to two people independently, it must be true.” “Now, you’re onto something! Peanut butter is glue, unlike chicken. I agree with you now.” “You feel like such an idiot when you choke on peanut butter. You’re like, ‘I know I’m gonna be okay, but I feel like such a turd.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Chicken’s not glue. Show me a chicken and show me glue. Totally different things.” L “Rhett, if it doesn’t hurt you, don’t worry about it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I got chicken mouth.” “Hey buddy, whatcha doin’ this afternoon? You wanna come over to my house and play checkers?” R “No.” L “Call me chicken teeth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is unpleasant to do. I know it’s unpleasant to watch. Why are you watching this?” L “Or listen to. I’m sure it doesn’t sound great.” R “You should click away. We have a lot of other videos. Or you could stay. Thanks for staying! Really? You’re still watching this? Weird.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-8c86-de3d-92c4-0227d1c50239"><span>R “Now, what is that?” L “I think it’s an incisor.” R “That’s a corn. A piece of corn! Could be a lil’ feller, I don’t know.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1018: R “Sadly, he hasn’t uploaded anything over there for two years. The last video which I checked out was ‘Aerial View of Garbage.’ L “That’s what he called it? R “Yeah!” L “And that’s what it was?” R “I watched it 14 times in a row! You would not believe how interesting aerial garbage is!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...I love a good royal burger at a zoo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Listen, I’ve been to TGI Fridays and the people there don’t look like this. I mean, I’ve been to it a number of times in Fuquay-Varina.” L “Everybody’s making out in the Fridays I go to. No mistletoe needed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...Rhett, I know you’re a huge fan of sensual pop sensation, Enrique Iglesias.” R “ Oh, yes I am! I’m an Enrique-boy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-a210-9e84-acf9-fb895bd33067"><span>R “Oh, poor Enrique.” “That’s why we love you, Enrique. That’s why we’re your boys. That’s why we love you, because of the heart of the shirt.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>GMMore: L "Slow burn."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1019: L “This is how I typically break bulbs. (yelling->) Why am I the only one in this house that turns off all the lights? I’m always turning off the lights after everybody!” “Woowee! We’re having fun today!” “I usually throw tantrums when I have to do household chores.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wasn’t joking about turning this into a light.” L “Let’s do it. So, put one hand here, and the other hand-” R “No, and then, just like this, and then we rub these hands.” (rubbing each other’s hands together) R “What if it worked, man? What if that worked? We’d change the world!” L “Well, I’m glad we’re taping.” R “That’s not what’s gonna happen.” L “We do use tapes still.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t insult our light, man!” L “Hello. I live in this light. I am a potato.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Never look down the barrel of a flashlight.” R (pretending to be shocked) “Bzz. Bzz.” L “That’s a dad joke if I’ve ever seen one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “There are no winners or losers because everyone wins when you’re playing with potatoes.” “I don’t like movies, rather, that make me feel like I need to hold my breath.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Paint me like your french fries, Jack.” L “I don’t have any brushes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Hey Jack, these aren’t my eyes.” L “Oh.” R “They’re too low to be my eyes.” L “And cut.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (singing->) “Love will build a bridge,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Between your heart and mine.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Love will build a bridge.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>All you need is time.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Don’t you think it’s time?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Merry Christmas, mother - “ L “Yippy ki-yay.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (singing) “First you get the limbo stick,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>then you go right under it.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Then you get on the other side,</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>and you stand up when you get to the other side.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-1d3f-cd03-8ad2-8ab38ba135bf"><span>Mmm, tally me banana.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1020: L “Super Recognizer for ‘Good Mythical Morning!’ You did it, Rhett!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And thank you for being you who I recognize.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Poise your fingers for some URL-age.” “</span><a href="http://www.MythicalMailMuseum.com"><span>www.MythicalMailMuseum.com</span></a><span>.” “I have a perfect memory and Rhett thinks he’s the super recognizer.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Matches and a candle ‘cause it stinks.” “I’ve been calling ‘beanies’ ‘hoodies’ for weeks! What is wrong with me?!” “Wow, a little window into how Link’s brain works right there.” “Oh! Six woods! I wanna eat it so bad.” “Davis the laminator.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “So, I think there are two sides to this. The first one is, if you’re like me, and I think most people are, when you meet somebody new, even if you say-” L “That’s a sad thought, by the way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Both “Do sha do dat.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Shout out to Blake Griffin, the mythical beast. We should have him on the show ‘cause his last name is a mythical beast.” R “We should.” L “He’s got a good sense of humor.” R “Let’s make that happen.” L “And he’s got a big foot. He’s got a big foot and he’s a basketball player.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Blake Griffin, we challenge you to a calf circumference versus Link’s torso circumference challenge-” R “But only” L “In person!” R “in person.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-3a66-5ddb-8221-d2d99b4dcdfa"><span>L “J.J. Redick, you’re invited, too. ‘Cause you have a podcast that Rhett has listened to.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1021: R “Breakfast is regarded to be the most important meal of the day, followed closely by second breakfast.” “All of those are important, but when you’re in America, you pretty much just have to settle for beggs, which is my way of saying eggs and bacon, or bacon and eggs, or add a little cheese. That’s all we get is beggs!” (Recurring, in variation->) “I would be willing to bet all of the money that I’ve ever seen…” “I got a freakin’ Moroccan magnet on my darts!” “Oh come on, man. Take a trip to Iceland with me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-6633-e02d-1aaf-3aa2ad7640b2"><span>R “Hmm, that’s a clint. Hold on!” L “We went to high school with a guy named Clint.” R “No! Let me tell you what happened! I said ‘hint’ and ‘clue’ together. And then it’s a clint!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1022: R “Please enter my office, patient Neal!” “I’m a jive doctor so sometimes I use medical terms and sometimes I just freeflow and use slang terms.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Why am I not just naked with this box on me?” R “Baby steps on this show.” L “Okay.” R “You know? We work our way up to full nakedness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Amputate me!” R “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that in this office.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “So how can you see something on me that I can’t see on you?” R “Isn’t that the question?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “As revealed in episode three of Buddy System, I actually do not have one of these.” L “Never, you don’t.” R “I had one at birth, but the doctor threw it away with the placenta.” L “Oh!” R “It’s in a garbage bin somewhere.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You played with mine, man. How could you forget so quickly?” L “Oh! That! The hangy down backside of the elbow!” R “You’re right, Link!” L “Weenis!” R “That’s your weenis! I’ve got a saggy one, and I’m proud of it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And you win your very own Neal Anatomy Chart!” … L “We’re going to give it to what will soon-to-be a former fan.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I feel like an alien watching another species when you tell me these type of things because, admittedly, way past to a fault, I’m very frugal, and I have to justify every single purchase, but I feel like I’ve broken new ground.” “And then halfway through, I’m like, ‘I shouldn’t do this. This is stupid.’ I’m like, ‘but Rhett would be proud of me.’” “They are Air Trainer SC 2 QS's.” “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Bo Jackson, ‘Bo Knows’ shoe…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m not a collector, I’m just a buyer.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There’s no real crotch under here, it’s just material.” … R “You heard it here. There’s no real crotch under there. I’m sure it comes as a surprise to all of you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “They got a little pink on them.” L “Well, that’s orange.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1023: L “Me and my sports bra dance amongst the windmills.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And because it makes your finger feel and look shorter than it actually is, I suggest only using this on fingers. Keep it on the hands,” L “Noted!” R “and everything will be okay.” L “That gave me a weird sensation, you know?” R “That’s what we’re all about here.” L “It’s an illusion!’</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is a mirror, but it is just sorcery. This is actual sorcery.” L “Mirror sorcery.” R “This is the first illusion that has just been determined to be actual sorcery…” L “That man is a mirror witch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Looks like a bunch of little burgers.” L “Is that undulating for you?” R “It makes me hungry.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You shut the chicken up, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “One time my dad told me, he was like, you know, in Vermont, chicken [censored word] is not a bad word.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I am so hot right now, I have to take this sports bra off.” … “I can’t think straight.” R “Oh, is that what it is? Do you always have this on?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-8a20-5f51-f39e-7bea2b1f9afb"><span>GMMore: L “Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Method Guy, the magician!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1024: R “When we were kids, you know what we had? We had pick-up sticks and sticks!” “Out with the yo, and in with the bro. Introducing, the Bro-Yo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “That’s pop culture relevancy!” “You’re not going to make a house, but you can make, like, a really nice leg fence.” “It looks like something that would be in a back closet of Westworld, you know?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Both: “Aaaaaahhh!” “Nooooo!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-e8cc4f91-93eb-0e89-8d6a-909cb6878f27"><span>L “Youth leaders across the nation are clamoring for the Amazon Link for this device.” “I just like whipped cream. I’m losing on purpose!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1025: Both singing:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>“</span><span>Humuhumunukunukuāpuaʻa, ah</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Vacation is better with two, aua’a</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Humuhumunukunukuāpuaʻa, ah</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-78d87cf4-2e55-6590-489b-7281d5d37258"><span>Vacation is better with you, aua’a.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1026: R “We can really spell anything with fingerling cookies.” “Spin the wheel, Neal!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Welcome my dad, Charles, to Good Mythical Morning!” “Chef Charles!” “Do you see where I get it from?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Charles “Y’all lived here so long, you don’t understand southern anymore?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Sing the cookie song, dad.” Charles “Cookie, cookie, cookie!” R “He doesn’t remember it either.” L (singing) “C is for cookie. That’s good enough for me!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oo, I’m not good at these type of questions.” Charles “And we got two engineering students can’t figure that out.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Good.” L “What is it?” Stevie “That’s a cat food cookie.” L “Keep eating it if you like it so much.” R “It’s really not that bad! Cats don’t have it too bad!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Hey, baby, I’m bringin’ out my lotion cookies!” “My daughter likes to bake cookies, and I actually ask her, I mentioned this to her, I came home one day and Lily had a surprise in the fridge for me and it was chocolate chipless chocolate cookie dough that she had made from scratch for me.” “And it happened.” “I ate it all over the course of 2 days, over a weekend. It was like, once this bowl of this stuff, this kryptonite is in here, I’m gonna gobble it up just like Superman does.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I like chocolate chipless chocolate chip cookie dough. You feel me?” R “That’s just cookie dough, man.” L “Well, yeah it is.” R “Are you just now getting this?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I live a rich lifestyle, Rhett. Tell him about it, dad.” Charles “Yeah-” L “But don’t tell him too much.” R “Yeah, you’ve been staying with him for a couple of days. What is it like over there at his house? He never lets me stay over there anymore.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Charles “...it’s been nice being here to see y’all.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Listen, you have to promise me right now. You have to do this with your hair when you get his age. In order for us to still be friends when you’re still old, you have to have your hair just like this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1027: L “Never walk into a turkey penis. Never.” R “That’s the beginning of a bad joke.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Kee-kee’ like Kiki Shepard, Showtime at the Apollo?” L “Mmhmm.” R “That’s a reference that me and you and no one else gets.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Turkey me!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And when it comes to turkey, I am a breast man, but when it comes to humans, I’m a wing man because I am married.” R “Oh, that was slick!” L ”Happily married.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m going to Narnia. I’m bringing Bob Ross with me!” “Bacolurkeychocoleg.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-78d87cf4-2e55-d42a-8cfd-f987d94c3e0e"><span>R “Don’t apologize for the starfood before I eat it.” “Bacolurkeychocoleg at the Chinese province fair, there’s a ferris wheel. We gotta dress like dragons though, I think.” “We only sell it on the new year to smokers.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1028: R “You might be surprised to know that in all the years that we’ve known each other and all the stupid things that we’ve done on this show and off, I’m proud to say, we have never been arrested.” L “Nope! I guess we’ve just had a very long, lucky streak…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I ain’t afraid of no pasty white dude kicking a soccer ball against graves.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1029: R “Don’t reduce a person to just their face.” “They call this scruff, Link. It’s not scrub. Now you can scrub it, but they call it scruff.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like the annual corporate Mythical Entertainment facial analysis.” “Bearded boy with dangerous brow. Fake nose ‘cause I’m not stupid!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Your nose feels nothing like it looks.” Jen “What does it feel like?” R “How often you feelin’ people’s noses, man?” L “I don’t wanna offend you. You got a great looking nose!’ Jen “I know. It’s very swoopy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Is this going to involve his mouth not moving?” Chase “Yes.” R “Oh, great.” Chase “That make you happy?” R “Yeah, makes me real happy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I mean, how many times in your life have you been in a situation where people could be doing anything to you?” “...all the survival adaptations that I have in my body are telling me that you should not relax and let someone that you don’t know very well poke you…” “I don’t care how old you are, if you’re about to get a physical and you’re going in and you’re self-conscious about having this doctor inspect you in a way that you probably don’t want anyone inspecting you, when you’re in that situation, I want you to picture yourself as a dolphin caught in a net, and be like, ‘ultimately, in the scheme of my life, this doctor needs to do this to get me out of the net. Otherwise, I’m going to be taken and turned into tuna with all the rest of the tuna.’” “Your two small dolphins that are in your pants.” “I should teach kids things.” “I should write children’s books. I should write one called ‘Two Dolphins in a Net.’ It’s like for all boys who are going in for their first physical.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1030: R “Happy Thanksgiving to all you mythical beasts in America and beyond! You can enjoy Thanksgiving celebration. We are very thankful to each and every one of you who has chosen to make this show a part of your daily routine.” “When the gravy film wants to unload, let it go! Don’t resist it. Don’t resist a gravy film that wants to get out.” “I actually just, I totally forgot, I recently found out that I’m lactose intolerant.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (singing) “Some gravy dip makes everything so much better. Gray dip.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ice cream spinnage.” R “Ice creamed spinach.” L “Spinnage.” R “Hold on.” L “I know you don’t like how I say it.” R “Well, ‘cause you don’t say it, I don’t, It’s not about what I like, it’s about being right.” L “Spinach.” R “Spinnage is what happens when you start spinning something. Spinach is a leafy vegetable that you eat.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hey, it was worth a shot. I’m sure the kids’ll love it.” R “Are you saying don’t try that one?” L “Just give it to the kids. Send them in another room.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You gonna be okay?” L “Not emotionally.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Introducing, the revamped Wheel of Gifticality, where we’re going to be giving gifts to you through the end of the year.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L (singing) </span>“My stomach don’t feel good already. Gonna have to get [a] call from Betty.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>“‘Cause it cuts like a knife!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Betty calls me whenever I get a upset tummy.” “Don’t you guys care?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m thankful for soylent.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1031: L “Some Mythical Beanies!” … R “We will actually put these on our heads later, but our hair is too valuable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And I’m a late bloomer to the corndog, actually.” “I just want you to look in there.” “I’ll tell you right now, this right here, is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever eaten in an episode of ‘Will It.’” “And I don’t even love eggnog!” “Gather around for the Escorndogo, children.” “Je suis barrel.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When did you start liking corndogs?” “Uh, about eight years ago. I don’t know why. But I love them now.” R “It was just an event.” L “I was just like, there’s other things I’ll always order.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s tastes exactly like you think it does. All your wildest dreams just came true in my mouth.” “I’m like a nog factory over here!” “Man, I caught your puke.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (singing) “Corndoggy-dog. The street dog.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Look, this is like an intergalactic corndog ship making its way into my mouth orifice. You know what I’m saying? Like in space?” R “I’ve never seen a spaceship like that, Link. Maybe a blimp?” L “It’s an intergalactic corndog blimp.” R “That rides the solar winds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What kind of outfit has access to a possum?” R “Probably that dude that we get all the weird meats from.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Why are you still happy?” R “Well, that was entertaining, what you did.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1032: L “You can over-jingle. It’s been done by us.” “Google ferrets in the snow. You’re welcome.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s funny. When you opened your mouth, I felt coolness come out. Are you chewing gum?” R “I did earlier.” L “Like, I literally felt minty coolness at the end of my finger.” R “Well, that’s normal. My tongue gives off that all the time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You’re really leaning in to this hating cats.” R “Yeah, cat lovers! I’m leaning in!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Wow, Link, you’re smart today! What kind of breakfast did you have?”... L “I love cats, and I’m looking for your vote in two years from now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Beborah, though, that’s-if I had a daughter, that would have been her name.” L “Google Beborah in the snow.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p><span>GMM 1033: R “...I personally like my languages like I like my computer companies, made by one guy in a garage somewhere.” “Give me the CliffsNotes! Give me the Link’s notes!” “Summer Wood. That’s a good name.”</span></p>
<p><span>L “Not a good idea to speak Klingon on a first day-tch.”</span></p>
<p><span>R “It’s supposed to sound like Welsh and you know who’s Welsh, Link?” L “Catherine Zeta-Jones?” R “Yeah, she is!” L “I got a shot!”</span></p>
<p><span>L “If you pronouce my name backwards, it’s still Link Neal.” R “It is! We recently discovered that!” L “Someone tweeted that at me and it blew my mind!”</span></p>
<p><span>R “Anna zhokwa gomma et athmar hara.” “You know what you said?” L “No.” R “My big mouth has sores.” … “Poultice for the pouters.”</span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 1034: L “I just need to make sure that you put a note in it, from me to my wife, that should say, ‘Dear Christy, my love birdy, I want to see you later, so call me. Love, Link.’” … Florist “Okay, let me see if I got this right. ‘Dear Chris, you’re my birdy, I will see you later, my lovely.” L “Perfect.” Florist “Okay. And then you want to add your name?” L “Link. Link is my name.” Florist “L-E-A-K?” L “Yes.” … L “Chris was about to get a nice surprise!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is there a particular bread product that has blueberries in it that you like?” Heather “Blueberry pancakes?” R “No, but it looks- it’s shaped like a cupcake. What do you call that?” Heather “Oh, blueberry muffins!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oh, the kangaroos in the trees, man!” Adler “Yeah, tree kangaroos.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...our first experience ever with ‘speech jamming’ was actually back in the early 90s when John Boy and Billy, radio duo in North Carolina, used to do this with a police officer called, named Donnie Pressley.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do you kids know about Gorbachev now, these days? Gorbachev was like- that’s who we cared about.” “He had that birthmark, man. Look at it. So endearing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1035: L “...then he opens presents that he got for himself.” R “That’s not too weird ‘cause my mom does that.” L “Year round?” R “No, no, no, I mean, for Christmas. And for her birthday. She’s done that for years.” L “She’s helping you out.” R “No, she’s helping my dad out.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There must be a Miss Christmas out there. We must find her.” R “Link, I think I have a candidate for someone who can pair up with Mr. Christmas and it is The Gingerbread Woman.” L “We’re matchmaking.” … L “Mr. Christmas and The Gingerbread Woman.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This woman is the Denny’s of thinking about gingerbread cookies.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think mine looks like something you’d see in Belk, personally.” “I don’t believe in exterior decorations.” “The McLaughlins, we don’t believe in inconvenience [when you] do things like that.” “As many times as you and your wife have almost broken up because of the Christmas lights, you would never do that.” “I need to write on more pages with puppies.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oh my goodness, I can’t get enough of those icicles!” “Putty your house, girl!” “Did you see the McLaughlin’s house? They completely puttied it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Jen “Link’s sleeping over here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1036: L “Did you try to give me five? Because I didn’t try to give you five.” R “No.” L “Me neither.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Chunky, chunky, steak, steak.” “Feelin’ good so far. This is a glorious brunch, my brotha!” “I could go out on a limby-limb-limb-limb.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “My hand was weird on that one. I usually don’t eat from somebody else’s hand. It’s not my typical taco-eating posture.” L “It felt weird because the crotch of the hand was against my face. You know, the hand-crotch?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Spice is nice.” “Oh, gosh, I feel so conflicted! Ah, taconflicted.” “Link, congratulations. You are Don Juan de Taco.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I feel confident. I feel so much taco confidence right now.” L “I just feel happy and stupid.” R “Taconfidence.” “I have high taconfidence levels.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R "I got cheese water now." L "Well, ain't nothing wrong with that." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "What I've discovered is that milk and ice cream...really set off the alarm bells in my tummy, but cheese, in small quantities, like a big glop that I put in my mouth, doesn't bother me as much." "We ate an eggroll one time off somebody's plate at a Chinese restaurant but because it was completely untouched and they had eaten on the other side of the plate, and we were like, 'that eggroll's completely untouched,' and we just reached over and grabbed it." </span>"This is playing into my psychological need to finish anything on a plate in front of me. It's like, if y'all left me here without restrain, I'd finish the whole table..."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "Smell the lettuce. That's their new slogan." "Stop and smell the lettuce." "That's what you get for crossing the lettuce." "I'm a Chipotle man. I do anything the Chipotle man can, which is basically just eat Chipotle." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R "We're eating too much. That's what's happening here." L "Well, it's for science."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "There's something my momma told me about finishing food that was on a plate that makes me feel like I have to." L "What? Do it?" R "Yeah. Clean your plate, son."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1037: L “Nipples so cold they could cut, cut glass. It’s like a song. Make it into a song: Nipples so cold they could cut, cut glass. I got nipples so cold, I could cut the glass, cut the glass, it’s a Michael Jackson song!” R “Oh, it’s an unreleased Michael Jackson song.” L “Yeah.” R “I wonder why he didn’t release that one.” L “‘Cause my nipple’s so cold!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Just looking at hard cheese gives me hemorrhoids.” L “Don’t look at the hard cheese.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hard cheese is bad luck.” “I’m sorry, but I learned all of my British accents from ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and ‘Downton Abbey,’ so it’s either one or the other.” “</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “There’s another song that steak sauce comes out of the nipples.” L “Nipples so soft they ooze steak sauce!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “[Olly?], the crusty dragon retired by the sea,” R “He still lives there, huh?” L “and he frolics in the old lady’s dress cupboard when they’re getting tea.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “What the shiz is that?” “The tea is perfectly serviceable.” “Let’s have a proper brew.” “Now that’s a good airy, airy whopper!” “I’m not a candy man, I’m a ham man. Give me ham!” “The Lord of Cadbury’s noggin has been scraped for the Flakes!” “They’re selling you air, Brits. They’re selling you air.” “We’re like aliens inspecting ca- [speaking in a monotone voice] This is a straight chocolate disc for the log. This one contains raisins, for the log. This one is not unlike a whopper.” “Americans love games.” “This is the best candy ever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s not bad, but I wouldn’t do it again. I wouldn’t choose to do that.” L “You know what? It actually says that on the box! It’s not bad but you’re not gonna wanna do it again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do not give chocolate to your dogs. It will kill them.” “I’ve been trying to do better with my eating, and my life’s worse.” “It should be called ‘the bag of candy that’s a game!’” “Maybe that’s part of the game. Find the one that we don’t make.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “That’s the thing wrong with critics. They have to be critical.” R “That’s the thing wrong with critics. They talk right. It annoys me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Basset hounds,” L “Bassets stink, man.” R “They stink, man. They got, like, a musk.”... L “They must have musk.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “That tea has got you giddy!” R “What’s in this tea, y’all?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Nothing happens on top of the rainbow. Just so you know.” L “You ever played Mario Kart?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "You know an American can't go more than seven days without nougat. They'll die!" (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Ashley813?xg_source=activity">Ashley (Giraffely)</a>) </span>L “Yep. It’s also an insult in our country. Don’t ever call anyone a nougat."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1038: R (singing) “Footwear, footwear can my baby be?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We make ourselves proud.” “Don’t burn ants with a shoe!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s how I walk to the hall closet when I run out of t-p.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You kids! When you run out of toilet paper, you gotta let mom know!” L “I can’t be creeping around like this!” R “Can’t be going through this hall like I got this scary, beautiful shoe on again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Shants.” R “Shants? Shoe pants?” L “Yeah. I shant be wearing those.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “The first time I ever took, you remember Gregg, our college roommate,” L “I do.” R “the first time I ever took him home to my house, we were going back to Buies Creek and we were gonna be staying at my parents’ house and the whole time there, I was like, ‘I’m gonna screw around with Gregg,’ and so I said, ‘I’m gonna tell him that my dad is a cobbler and he makes shoes all night,’ and I was like, ‘if you have earplugs, bring them because he’s hammering on shoes and stuff-” L “OW! Gosh dog!” R “Don’t touch the freakin’ end of it. That’s the only rule of glue guns, man! You don’t touch the end of it.” L “Tell that to Gregg.” R “So the whole time, he thought I was legitimately serious that my dad was a cobbler and he was going to be making shoes when he got to my house and then we got to my house and it’s just a normal house.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know, Britney’s made quite a comeback. That new video, though. Good gracious. I made the mistake of watching that alone.” L “What are you-? You know that people are listening to this, right? The things that you say.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This gonna be a tough one, buddy roll.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I feel confident.” L “Well you always feel confident, but that doesn’t always make you right.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oh, son of a junk maker.” “Shout-out to Horatio Han and Kevin Crowley. We made your shoes, boys! We made your shoes!” “Buff, buff, buff. I’m a buffing freak.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 1039: R “Your concentration face is a lot like your constipated face.” “...owl dumplings taste like grandpa...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “But what does it mean? Lizzie is evil and Kevin is awesome!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Are you left-handed?” L “No. Yes. Yes, maybe.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Are hammer pants still cool?” L “Yes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Have you ever touched a college professor’s shoulder with your butt?” L “Yes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is your dad actually just you sent back from the future making you your own father?” L “Yes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do I look like a praying mantis when I shave my beard?” L “Yes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Would you ever pull my dry weenis?” L “No. Yes.” R “You have, yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 1040: L “You’re a good light painter, Rhett!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It looks like a giant turkey leg, though.” L “Which is always what I thought violins looked like,” R “Yeah, right.” L “and they always make me hungry!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Stock your stuffings!”</span></p>Today's my First Kommunity Member Anniversary!tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-09-23:2452419:BlogPost:22241692016-09-23T14:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p>Hello, Kommunity! </p>
<p>Today is my first year anniversary as a member of the RhettandLinKommunity! </p>
<p>Thank you, Rhett and Link, for creating this wonderful place and community. You guys have seriously made this past year so much happier for me in many ways. Thanks for always keeping me smiling and laughing.</p>
<p>I want to express sincere thanks to the K-mods I have interacted with during the past year, Victoria, Gumbo and Carol, for welcoming me here, guiding me on projects and…</p>
<p>Hello, Kommunity! </p>
<p>Today is my first year anniversary as a member of the RhettandLinKommunity! </p>
<p>Thank you, Rhett and Link, for creating this wonderful place and community. You guys have seriously made this past year so much happier for me in many ways. Thanks for always keeping me smiling and laughing.</p>
<p>I want to express sincere thanks to the K-mods I have interacted with during the past year, Victoria, Gumbo and Carol, for welcoming me here, guiding me on projects and activities, and for working so hard on everything they do to make sure this site is open and inviting, respectful to all, fun and organized, and for having level heads when dealing with the tough stuff. :) </p>
<p></p>
<p>I consider the Kommunity like a village of people who like similar things and become friends, who welcome other people in, play games, laugh together, have deep thoughts and discussions, question everything, do the "boopity-boop" research, and help each other with struggles in life. </p>
<p>So, I would like to express my happiness for getting to know a lot of you mythical beasts on here and Twitter, which is where I am most often when I'm online, and your support for everything currently going on. Shout-out to the awesome people that have been great to me in many ways and with whom I enjoy learning, laughing and "talking about that": </p>
<p>Victoria, Sarah (RiverMouse), Grace, Gumbo, Alli (gator), Jaymie, Lucy, Steph, Jodie, Millie (Magnatyde), Milli Falcon, Juhi.S, Marley, Stormy, Julie, Danica, Kate, LisaW, Laura, Sam, Tine, Rosebella, Reese, Liv, Ashley Gatewood, Ashley (mythicallyash), MaryAnn, SarahTheMyth, Mythical RandLer, Anna, Emily, Faith, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/ladyworpledinker"><span style="color: #000000;">ladyworpledinker</span></a>, L-Belle, Marco, Jessica, Tanya, Seaborne_And_Roach, Finn Phoenix, Kristen, Maddie, Shelby, amaka, Juliette</p>
<p></p>
<p>*If some of the names listed are duplicates, I'm sorry. Y'all have different names on the various sites sometimes, but you know who you are! ;) And if I forgot anyone, then I'm also sorry. Just yell at me somewhere and I'll come back and edit this post. You'll also know I'm caring for my mother right now, so I might forget. And there's a lot more people who helped in various projects and conversations that I probably haven't listed here, but you know who you are too. :)</p>
<p></p>
<p>In celebration of this first year, I'd like to share some of my FIRST FAVORITE videos of R&L's, that entertain me and convinced me to keep watching! I hope you like them too! Maybe I'll make a list of my other favorite videos at another time. </p>
<p>*Note: I haven't seen every GMM & GMMore yet or listened to every Ear Biscuit. I'm still working on that! :D</p>
<p></p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">FIRST GMM episode watched (that I remember):</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/ICI9iY1_d7I" target="_blank">The What If? Game Ft. Daniel Radcliffe</a> </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">BUT,</span> I believe this is the earliest episode that I watched, that I remember liking, when I came into Season 8 as it was happening: <a href="https://youtu.be/wCCsrgAFjDU" target="_blank">Surviving Animal Attacks (GAME)</a></p>
<p></p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Favorites:</span></p>
<p>Main Channel sketch: <a href="https://youtu.be/vcPzaIGYZH8?list=PL5AF90CE4D14A54CF" target="_blank">Santa & Elf FAIL (Men Who Can't Pee 2)</a> and <a href="https://youtu.be/8Th9F9xUn5Y" target="_blank">BFFs</a> (I legit cried the first time I watched it, lol) </p>
<p>Main Channel music video: <a class="pl-video-title-link yt-uix-tile-link yt-uix-sessionlink spf-link" dir="ltr" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01TL9bUWr6I&list=PLmVeyPJbKfIPgggeE6xbkHIvVwrVx4CEL&index=2">2 Guys 600 Pillows (Backwards) - Rhett & Link</a></p>
<p>Vlog: <a href="https://youtu.be/HFDgPgSUq0k?list=PLaTa4Lmvqu1ZMcg3w6AL0qbw7FS0-SvPc" target="_blank">UNUSUAL BEAST!!</a> and <a href="https://youtu.be/vyM4MGucxTs?list=PLmVeyPJbKfIPgggeE6xbkHIvVwrVx4CEL" target="_blank">Fancy Pants Vlog</a></p>
<p>GMM episode: Link: <a href="https://youtu.be/BZNwqV0EDq8" target="_blank">How to Dance to Attract Girls</a>, Rhett: <a href="https://youtu.be/5jLfJ2AfR-o" target="_blank"></a><a href="https://youtu.be/vF164dOAHzQ" target="_blank">Idiot on a Construction Site</a> </p>
<p>GMMore: <a href="https://youtu.be/Vak_fIFG378" target="_blank">Singing a Song That Doesn't Go Anywhere</a></p>
<p>GMM sketch segment: <a href="https://youtu.be/5c6uCzb_y8k" target="_blank">Chunk's Boredom Advice</a></p>
<p>GMM music segment: <a class="pl-video-title-link yt-uix-tile-link yt-uix-sessionlink spf-link" dir="ltr" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLxpyrdiA8k&index=17&list=PLW8XZTagL0oLppl5fd-y4PKHY9ALZli33">Turkey In A Trash Can - A Song</a></p>
<p>RhettandLinKast: <a href="http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/170151" target="_blank">American Idol, Rapping, More</a> (so many more faves too) </p>
<p>Ear Biscuit: First one heard in full & enjoyed was <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits/ep-61-markiplier-ear-biscuits" target="_blank">Ep. 61 Markiplier.</a> </p>
<p>Song Biscuit: <a href="https://youtu.be/xi4ISxCbUTI" target="_blank">The Five Nights at Freddy's Song</a></p>
<p>Characters: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5AF90CE4D14A54CF" target="_blank">Rusty Barefoot, Sr. & Larnold Jernigan, Sr.</a></p>
<p>Commercial: <a href="https://youtu.be/LJP1DphOWPs" target="_blank">Official Ojai Valley Taxidermy TV Commercial</a>, <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/rhett-link-commercial-kings/id442720510" target="_blank">Town of Tonopah</a> -favorite overall</p>
<p>Movie: "<a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/notes/%245_OFF_Locklear_DVD_Coupon" target="_self">Looking for Ms. Locklear</a>"</p>
<p>Other: <a href="https://youtu.be/4SNXYpm9iqo" target="_blank">FULL 1 HOURS: "All Night Long" literally All. Night. Long.</a> and <a href="https://youtu.be/05umaJeAqnw?t=22m49s" target="_blank">The Mythical Show Ep 6</a> where Rhett sings an impromptu birthday song to Link! </p>
<p>Guest Appearance/Interview (that R&L, or either one, were featured in): <a class="pl-video-title-link yt-uix-tile-link yt-uix-sessionlink spf-link" dir="ltr" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKHKQh7d5X0&list=PLmVeyPJbKfIPgggeE6xbkHIvVwrVx4CEL&index=22">The Interview: with Link Neal // 3 Ginger Sisters</a> and <a class="pl-video-title-link yt-uix-tile-link yt-uix-sessionlink spf-link" dir="ltr" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yAt39tBMrw&index=38&list=PLmVeyPJbKfIPgggeE6xbkHIvVwrVx4CEL">Shut Up and Dance Off</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>*This is my "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLmVeyPJbKfIPgggeE6xbkHIvVwrVx4CEL" target="_blank">Favorite Rhett & Link Videos</a>" playlist.</p>
<p></p>
<p>As I watched more R&L, I found a lot of other channels and YouTubers! My top favorites alongside R&L are Markiplier, Stampy Cat, iBallisticSquid, and Philip DeFranco. I was super happy to find out early on that R&L were friends with Julian Smith, who I've watched years ago and really enjoyed! I'm subscribed to so many channels now, too many to list, but if you ever want to know who else I watch, feel free to ask! :) </p>
<p></p>
<p>Here are some of my posts and projects from my first year: </p>
<p>1. The first social media activity I participated in was <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/photos/a.10150195633346476.323884.6057751475/10153225087496476/?type=3&theater" target="_blank">#Pumpkining</a>! <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/photo/pumpkining-rhettandlink?context=user" target="_self">It was fun</a>! </p>
<p>2. "<a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/forum/topics/this-day-in-rhett-and-link-history-feature" target="_self">This Day in Rhett & Link History</a>"</p>
<p>A historical outline that documents content by day and year. Recruited Sarah (RiverMouse) and Alli (gator) to keep it going. Grace and Alli currently do the posts and they are featured on the Kommunity home page, created and designed by the amazing, Gumbo! </p>
<p>3. <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_self">Rhett & Link Talk Show Quotes!</a></p>
<p>I've been typing out quotes from every GMM episode in blog posts on my page ever since episode 800 when icesisGMM suggested the idea. The guys took it a different way that intended, but it was still funny! Above is the link to the first page of the quotes, you can get to the other pages from there. It's just for fun!</p>
<p>4. <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/forum/topics/rhett-s-crazy-ideas" target="_self">Rhett and Link's Crazy Business Ideas</a>!</p>
<p>List of the guys' ideas for products, advertising concepts, businesses, etc, not yet made on the show. The list is ongoing and updated as I watch their videos. </p>
<p>5. Helped Victoria with the "Rhett and Link Database Project" (<a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-database-project-announcement" target="_self">link to announcement</a>). I continue to help when I can. </p>
<p>6. Transcribed Ear Biscuit <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits/ep-61-markiplier-ear-biscuits" target="_blank">Ep. 61 Markiplier</a> for Stormy's <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/ear-biscuits-transcriptions" target="_self">Ear Biscuits Transcription Project</a>! </p>
<p>7. Organized and sent in <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/forum/topics/link-s-birthday-2016" target="_self">Link's birthday</a> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/group/link-s-birthday-2016?xg_source=activity" target="_self">present</a> this year. The gift was featured on the Rhett and Link <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BGHKCE3nhu_/?taken-by=rhettandlink" target="_blank">Instagram</a> account. (Thanks to all who contributed! You are all amazing!) </p>
<p></p>
<p>Some goals for the next year: </p>
<ol>
<li>keep my mythical friends and make more</li>
<li>continue to support and help fellow mythical beasts in any way I can</li>
<li>continue with projects and keep getting involved in activities that bring us together to celebrate & support R&L </li>
<li>send or make something cool for fan mail or birthday gifts</li>
<li>go to a Mythicon</li>
<li>hopefully, we will see less issues from their social accounts</li>
<li>I love what they have, but I'd also like R&L to sell more of a variety of merch like new/various shirt designs, socks, pajama pants, keychains, jewelry, watches, etc, if they can. </li>
</ol>
<p></p>
<p>It's been a really awesome year with you all! I feel like it's gone by so fast! Here's to another awesome year! Thanks for including me in this mythical herd! And thank you, Rhett and Link. Keep doing what you're doing and feeding your creative bug! </p>
<p></p>
<p>Heather S. (YogaGhost)</p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 814-967tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-09-19:2452419:BlogPost:22913542016-09-19T06:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p>(Sept 19 2016)</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-520</a>, …</strong></p>
<p>(Sept 19 2016)</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-520</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 521-666</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 667-813</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 968-Current</a></strong></p>
<p></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 814: R "Do you have any tips for me going into this next round?" Miranda Sings "Yeah, don't be really bad." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I'm batting' cling up here." “McPapaRomPom, that’s my artist name.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Miranda "How are you going to get what you want if you don't sit on the man's lap?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That is the currency with Santa is lap-sitting." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I want some fancy panties...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 815: L “If your eyeballs and your nipples are made out of the same thing, you got bigger problems than worrying about the temperature rising.” “Charleston, where it all goes south.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “And then right after I bowl, things get a little weird sometimes.” "Nobody said that you could put boobs in my bird shirt."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "We don't touch teeth from other families."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Jen makes us fight all the time."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 816: R “It’s a bacterial buffet. That’s what’s happening in your pits. That’s what smells.” “You responded like you tasted soup. Mmm.” “I wore a tank top again, Chase.” “That’s the worst smell that has come out on this entire thing, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Let me read the ingredients...old paint."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “This is what’s it like being a dad.” “I’m not your son, I’m your left side.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R " We’re double-fisting this burger." “We got too many balls in this family.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 817: R "We're letting the seizure out of the bag, Oliver Stone! We know this was your first film and we think it's great! We think the movie poster's great and we're gonna watch it!" L "Oh, we're gonna watch it!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "If I could have 2 extra mouths for eating, I would trade my eyes in. That's how much I enjoy eating."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 818: L “I’ve milked a cow, but I have not belly-bongo’d with my groin.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Lebron, I know you’re a fan, I know you watch. Why don’t you grow some wings?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 819: R “I look a psychopath trying to send a murder message.” “It all looked like lip to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I think foot coordination is inversely proportional to beard length.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 820: R “This Christmas, I would like to be able to go one week without some stranger asking me, ‘Hey, do you play basketball?’ I DID. I don’t anymore. It wasn’t pro. It was high school. Just ‘cause I’m tall. Yes, I’ve touched a basketball. Get over it!” “There’s an anatomy lesson in that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Link Neal, greatest wrapper of all time!” “Peanut butter is close to my heart. Saying the word ‘plumpy-nut’ is close to my heart.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “If you want to dominate a sport these days, you gotta start at 3.” “My hair is PG-rated, my face is R-rated.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “2016, we get a jacuzzi.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 821: R "There's something you don't know about me, Link. We've known each other for a long time, but I always keep a pack of soy sauce in my left upper pocket." "I'm actually beginning to cry."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You made my pie-hole very happy.” “This is like the edible version of a clown."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 822: L “I hope it becomes clear over the course of this episode that you are demented…” “I could twist your ear off right now with my hand!” “I mean, I’ve been burned a number of times and never once did I make a cow sound when it happened.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Bring out the trample face!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There were no good-old-days.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 823: L “From personal experience, I mean, you can definitely get four kids in a trunk.” “When flatulence and farts are the sexy part of any story, don’t read the story.’</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Kids love getting in the trunk for a little bit."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 824: L “It’s difficult to figure out what’s in your sleeve when I’m not looking at you at all.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “First of all, before you go out on a limb, before you guess, can we just make an agreement that we’ll do something at a kid’s birthday party.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 825: L “I just want to admit that we have a travel item.” “This might be my gateway drug to bidet-ing, especially if it’s bacon scented.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “ Let’s be honest, we’ve stopped thinking years ago.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 826: R “We are living in an instant world, and I am an instant girl.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If I, like, go over to your house one night and Chase is over there feeding you, that’s inappropriate!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 827: R “Nick Cannon doesn’t know what he left.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Don’t give up hope yet. The Christmas Spirit has not died, but you’re killing it slowly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “In my first year of marriage, uh, with my wife, Christy, we, um, as opposed the other marriages I haven’t had yet or whatever, I don’t plan on having any other marriages… Boy, I’m really digging a hole here. Can I start that over?” “A toothbrush is a thoughtful gift? That sounds like an insult.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 828: R “Light my candle, baby.” “Link, quit being the uncle and eat some of this friggin cheese.” “I have a 1958 pallet. That’s what I’m discovering.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ccaa-97a1-cd4c-93c6ff8989c4">L “Heaaavy on the mayo.” “Ham Cane. Why haven’t I invented that?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Happy Bomb Shelter Christmas!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 829: R “...That means decorate for christmas, that was just kind of a euphemism, which for a lot of my life I thought that meant put Holly’s intestines all over the place.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“...and let me tell you Shephard, I know that sometimes you watch this show. Son, if I see you in that room again, I’m going to put you in prison, just like Brandon’s mom.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Nothing’s more liberating that wearing a bikini and stealing candy canes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both: “If your names rhyme, you’re related.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “A little North on North action.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 830: Santa: “Santa wants to know if you want it hard or if you want it soft.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Truthfully, I’m not happy deep inside.” "A remote only needs 4 buttons. Up, down, and mute."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “This is the beginning and the end of fancy panties.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "<span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fb87-2212-b44e-755811137be3">Looks like you guys have been making out with the Christmas tree. Again."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 831: R “Dillnog. Put your finger on the pickle.” “One of the questions that I ask myself during the holiday season is how can I get more cheese into my body.” “Little cheese mountains. I wanna be in there surfing!” "There are few things in this world that make me like a little boy again. Facing down a pint of blood is one of them." "I hate myself." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-dbab-cdfd-60b9-781d13052f3e">L “Body builders, they add eggs to protein shakes. It’s like we’re adding protein to a sport drink.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9d3-4e68-6637-712ea3ca5782"><span>“Everytime I breathe out of my mouth, I can taste like, dead dog.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "It's a good sign to be misunderstood."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON NINE </strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 832: L “I’m pleased to introduce you to my forehead and ears for the first time. Uh, welcome. Welcome to them. Here they are. Here they are. Lot of ad space up here.” “Does my Goozle..? Is it always….?” “This is like my older brother that I didn’t know existed, and when I meet him, I’m like, ‘uh, let’s not be facebook friends, let’s not be acquaintances.’” “Why am I still bald?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “It’s a free country, man. You can do your hair however you want to.” “You know what? If you ever go with this look, I think I’m out. I’m going solo. That’s what’s going to cause me to go solo if you ever achieve that look.” “This is what my prom date looked like in ‘95.” “Looks like a couple of tadpoles trying to dig into your eyeballs.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You know, all the great laughers breathe while they laugh.” “Let’s go back to the beginning, let’s go back to childhood.” “Yeah, you gotta be your own man.” “This is like Charlie Rose at this point.” “I would think, ‘huh, he’s probably into board games.’” “I would say this guy doesn’t rollerblade anymore, but he did.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-33fa-c643-9ae2-4ce5fea4fead">L “I would say, no, I think it’s been a year in the making.” “But I did receive, like, a strange letter from an estranged family member who went into great detail using letters from magazine clippings to say that if you don’t get rid of those wings and that swoop...you’re gonna become very irrelevant.” “I saw a guy, and I’m being for real, who was an older gentlemen who had a hair style very similar to mine and I judged him.” “Negatively.” “They could come back, I’m not locked in forever.” “Maybe next year for Project for Awesome, I’ll auction them off.” “But didn’t we all?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 833: R “I don’t think they’re under the car, I think they’re driving the car.” “That’s how you start a car, Link, you yank the thang.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I have trialed my fusion alone, but never in tandem.” “I’ve never ridden a Unicorn before, that’s why I’m having so much difficulty.” “I’m the pit viper, I’m a bite you.” “I’m used to winning.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We got problems in Unicornville.” “Link, they don’t actually make the roads, it’s a video game.” “I’s just a barefoot baby on a 3-wheeler. That’s what memories are made of.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 834: L “I think we are the bow and arrow.” “I look like Aladdin but I’m gonna try to channel King Triton.” “I can’t go full lord.” “We look like two really cool break dancers.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m not going to enjoy any of this, Stevie.” “Hey, I’m a bird of paradise.” “Oh, I wasn’t asking for points by giving you points.” “A dolphin is a mammal, but it’s kinda half fish.” “I’m the lord of the fishes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Welcome to dog yoga, dogs!” “I’m the treat master.” “They put Ritz crackers in my bed with cheese, and they were like, ‘he’ll find those.’” “I’ve basically have been led around my entire life by Ritz crackers and cheese.” “Your wife does that?” “Yeah, man. My wife licks my teeth. I don’t even brush em!” “You don’t need to do anything anymore except watch YouTube videos.” “Everything you need is on YouTube.com.” “Sometimes I can’t tell what end of June is the head.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-3e2b-a341-1d21-93a3b89671e6">L “You gotta roll that thing over.” “June’s doing the ‘Snow-walk-off-nisna.’” “We’re making out on the internet.” “This is my dog not my wife.” “2016, the year of the butt-holes.” “Let’s just play with our dogs on our YouTube channel. No one’s ever done that before.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 835: R “No, I’m not going to blink.” “Well, it’s a little strange, but I’m also working on a macaroni sculpture of your wife.” “Nancy, you probably don’t need to show those off.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You freaked me out there at the end.” “I get a lot of luck on Tindeerrr.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both singing: “Cause I’m a person, not a dragon. Rest in peace, Bilbo Baggins.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You still Canadian?” “But did you hear about the guy who fell awake during ‘Force Awakens’?” “Yeah, the theater was too Darth.” “I think I just made my day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s a ‘Game of Thrones’ joke, Rhett. You wouldn’t get it.” “I’m so glad to be back. I mean, it’s like a well worn shoe.” “I cried tears of joy four different times.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4487-1013-7a15-dad2ca8b03f5">Jen: “Still can’t read.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 836: L “The world is your bacon oyster…” “That is a relevation, man. That’s not even a word!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Sign me up for chicken bacon!” “I’m getting all kinds of signals. They’re coming from all kinds of, all places around the earth.” “I feel like just trolled something with my mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “And welcome, there’s his face, Drew!” “He fit the profile. He had a beard, so he’s hired.” “I was a serial night-spender.” “Everything that we have said has been for entertainment purposes only.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I eat it off my lip all the time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4e06-65f7-5dd7-aceda016378e">Alex “Shout out to Grandma Punch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 837: L “Potato people care about potato things.” “Urinal cakes, I’ve never been tempted to bite one of those.” “Man, there’s people who are into anything.” “Who am I working with here?” “One magazine cannot contain the angst and enthusiasm of millennial women.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t ask for those at the bakery, kids.” “I turn urinal cakes into donuts.” (put that on a t-shirt) “Since 1977.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Once you get inside, it’s all bedlam.” “I’d rather dig a cat hole than get in one of these things.” “You become a peeleontologist.” “Don’t be that way.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-5776-26d9-fb05-15e477d60109">R “A lot of people don’t like a port-o-john, but I prefer one.” “If it’s clean, I feel like I’m in a time machine.” “If a bone comes lose, it’s yours. That’s our slogan.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 838: R “Don’t head-butt a woman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “OHH NOOO!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The unbreakable mug.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I love bread, though. Sometimes I think they should make a blanket out of bread and sell it cause it’s just soft.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 839: L “Because she’s not cooperating and that’s what they do.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I was about to get a little kiss of chocolate, and now I’ve gotten intimate with the chocolate unintentionally.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There’s nothing like the feeling of knowing that your balls are impervious.” “Don’t you guys want to sleep on my DNA? Line up, kids.” “Never worn a shirt out. That’s called shoplifting.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-6202-04aa-21d1-9691f3c26f5b">R “I worn a whole suit of clothes out.” “I don’t like pranks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 840: L “I don’t wanna know if she’s in there.” “Yeah, two shower heads, we get it.” “No, we don’t.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “New from Rhett & Link, Crust Toothpaste.” “You know, we have the budget for a second spit cup.” “I’ll never forget that, dad, and I’ll never do it cause I always check to make sure it’s toothpaste.” “We solved a problem that no one really had.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (reading) “Dear Rhett, Link, and crew, my name is Co-stans-zay. I’m 18 years, is that how you would say it?” Jen “I think it’s ‘Constance.’” “I feel like everyone around me is going crazy today.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This man’s name is Cliff Bliss. That’s like a made-up country singer’s name. That’s the best name I’ve ever heard, Cliff Bliss.” “I wish I could turn it into chewing gum.” “I’m just gonna have so much fun by myself.” “I wanna eat it.” (singing->) “It’s wood, wood, wood, wood, wood, wood.” “Sometimes lies are good if it keeps people from bad things.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 841: L “Well, technically, we know who cut the cheese. Chase cut the cheese as he always does…” “I’ve never wanted to taste a hooligan.” “And finally, we’re going to be tasting Rachel.” “Come back to me Rachel, I named a cheese after you. How pathetic is that?” “Christy would love doing this, but, she loves cheese like you do, but...” “Shut up.” “Wouldn’t be the first time. Gotta fill up that biscuit with something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I know about Christy’s love for cheese, that’s why i made that macaroni sculpture for her.” “Sometimes we get together and eat cheese.” “I appreciate the sheep and what they offer.” “Did y’all stuff a biscuit with caulk?” “I’m a cheese master!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Man, that looks like pound cake.” R “That’s what I just said.” ...L “We think too much alike.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’re not pathetic because that cheese is good.” “I’m on the grilled cheese board.” (both: ongoing silly message to Pete & Rachel)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 842: L “There are also professional butt slappers.” R “Well, can we see that?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Birds have white poop. I do know that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Hold on a second, whose placenta is this?” L “Uh, no, it’s mine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That’s the thing that I was really surprised about. There’s a bucket there and I was like, ‘is that for the baby to go in?’” “My eyebrows have always been very aggressive.” “Birth offage is great word. We should start a band. A heavy metal band called ‘Birth Offage.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 843: L “When you get so sad, you start to melt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “They gave you chlamydia?” L “What were you doing with the koala?” R “After Hours at the zoo.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I think this is whether or not you would swipe right or left on this because I don’t know that this koala would pee on me or eat poop. You don’t know that until the first date.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s what I do for you guys. I bloodshot my eyes for y’all!” “No, Rhett. We don’t eat donkey in our family.” “OH THANK GOODNESS YOU DIDN’T BURN THE KITTENS!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-812c-c675-b3fc-5a234edb1442">R “That was a great story cause everybody thought you blew up some cats, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 844: R “I’m ready to rock the tucked in shirt.” “Alright, we’re going to let Link sort out his issues on his own time and we’re going to move on with this episode.” “We might just leave Link in one.” “Be gentle with me, Eddie!” “That’s like a life philosophy. Hold on to those pinched inches cause somebody’ll take em away from ya.”“Oh, the more the crotch!” <span id="docs-internal-guid-eb4174f0-cc14-8b5c-245d-d8de769eafa0"><br/></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I can go shirtless if it happens. That will be your reward if I get out of this straitjacket, mom, I mean, uh, wife, I mean, what?” “Whenever I take off my shirt, my mom’s like ‘oh, you’re muscular, you’re doing good.’” “No, my mom watches the show, my wife doesn’t.” “Put a straitjacket over my mouth!” “Woop, woop! There’s a crotch strap!” “Oh, you look like you can be smacked around, slapped up, and if I get out of here first, that’s what’s gonna happen.” “All types of people, blondes, brunettes, get straitjacketed from time to time.” “Look, your arm is giving birth to a Rhett.” “You’re a straitjacket genius!” “That’s the easy part. Become a woman, then undo your buckle. I can do that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Eddie: “Rhett’s having fun with that middle strap.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I want to hear ya honk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t think I understand how buckles work. I’ve never been good with buckles.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 845: Bevin: “Like fine wine, canned whole chickens improve with age.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “There are shelves that have things on them that you can’t reach? This is a thing? This happens?” “That has literally never happened to me, cause I’m so tall.” “I’m so proud of you and your new pet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Send us the pony.” “It’s called a stable, you butthole.” “MC Butthole.” “I gave her my bank login.” "It's like an egg eye. Come to papa, my egg face." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8acd-e9fc-9ac8-948d621a27bd">R “It is the year of the butthole. We should be calling each other that more. I forgot. That would be a great show name for a pony. And now, Amanda, on Butthole.” “If this works perfectly on the first time, I am quitting everything and going into this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 846: L “Let’s call this a ‘dump-mellow’.” "I like a roasted tomato, I just don't like a raw tomato." “We’re calling these ‘pumplings’ cause they pump you up.” “Call this a ‘Leatherling’.” “Survival dumpling.” “It’s gone. I’m out. I’m flat out of sperm.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Dip this in chocolate sauce” R “Where? Did you bring some?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...I'm starting to think we should open a dumpling restaurant!" R "Dumplings R Us?” L "Take a dumpling." "Come take a dumpling." R “Take a dumpling on us!” "We give you a free dumpling every time." L "It is most likely that it will be a food court restaurant any type of restaurant we open." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I think we should call it ‘dumplizza’.” “It tastes like a really good, thoughtful ravioli.” "Have you had the Thoughtful Ravioli?" “This might be the peak of taste on ‘Will-It’." “I’ve chewed on my wallet before, just like, in a moment of thoughtlessness. It was just like this.” “What are we going to call these, ‘spermlings’?” “I’m going to go to my happy place. I’m going to go the part of the mall that doesn’t sell cod sperm. I’m going into Brookstone. I’m in a massage chair, and they turn it on, they said ‘sir, you’re gonna have to leave, it’s been 3 hours.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You guys are getting really good at stuff, you know that?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Good job, Kevin. You can continue to work here.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 847: R “When I think about ‘old,’ I think about my old chin-strap that I used to have and how much of a mistake that was. I’m glad I don’t have that anymore. Don’t look up those old pictures.” “Honey, you wanna go shopping for fashion sacks (sacs?)?” “Do not get your wife a dog-toothed covered purse for Valentine’s Day because that’s what I’m getting her, I mean, my wife.” “Boy, that brain is working, ain’t it?” “So, scientists, please, next time you want to find out how a clam is, just count the rings. Don’t kill it. GAH!” “Back in the olden times, they didn’t have Netflix to binge-watch their sorrows away, they had flutes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “And I can’t be the stupidest person here if I’m not the one using a fake microphone.” “Congratulations to everything that aged.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “16 years from today, I’ma find these 14 buttons.” “I wanted my special friends to do that, not you.” “I’ve never had a frog nut ball.” “With what I lack in knowledge of the age of things and in personal esteem this morning for failing this eating thing, I’m giving that to you guys. What I’m not taking for myself, in terms of, like, gusto for life today, I wanna give it to you, instead. Cause we both can’t have it all. And I want YOU to have it. I want YOU to have a great day. I want you to eat whatever you want to eat today.” "Locomotive breath. I've been called that." "Now, I love me flute, but it's gotta be Marshall Tucker Band." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “But you forgot the scratch and the sniff part.” “I have four fossils, thank you very much.” “I have my diploma from preschool.” “I have my first ever teddy bear that I got when I came home from the hospital…That’s old...Still squeaks.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 848: R “The official ‘Good Mythical Morning’ stance on the Mandela effect is that it doesn’t exist and that people just can’t get stuff right.” “The shame ends today.” “What is a mirror mirror, anyway?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The shame ends for all of us.” “And don’t wear human clothes, bears! It’s confusing! Messed up my childhood.” “Welcome to reality. We’re all here together now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The wife learned clogging.” “What she chose to do was clog as a child.” “‘Oh, ‘Peanut Butter Man.’ He just called me ‘Peanut Butter Man.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a308-2f28-af1a-c665b68c7c83">R “You remember it being called ‘Forrest Gump.’ It’s actually called ‘Forrest Dump.’ That was just my weekend.” “‘Peanut Butter Man’ is not going to get this wrong…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 849: R “If any of you go to Norma’s on a business trip, which probably won’t happen, and you expense this, you’re fired. That’s what happens when you expense the frittata.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “No, we’ll just dock their pay a zillion dollars and it will become an actual number.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Hello to the mythical beasts that were in Puerto Rico.” “Lot of mythical beasts in Puerto Rico, I didn’t know that was going to happen. I’m glad that it did, and took a lot of pictures…” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Global warming is like humans peeing in a pool on a global scale.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 850: L <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-cc28-2bbb-ba34-6e6f39bd1626">“I’m not only bad with names, but I’m bad with people.”</span> “If I win Alex, I’m going to get him to tuck me in for a nap and sing me lullaby.” “You look a lot different in person, Lionel, once you’re unwrapped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If I win Alex, I’m going to get him to give me a professional massage.” “...because we have a professional relationship...” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Little lap drum goes a long way.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">Jen: “Link’s hair is turnt up.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “All the pictures are of me but all the the stories are about Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 851: L “Bring the fries to the fry daddy. That’s me.” “It’s like eatin’ a potato garden hose.” “I’ll be fry daddy, you can be spud man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Sometimes, homework pays off kids. Do your homework. Cause you can be the Lord of the Fries one day.” “If you want me and Link to eat messy baked potato fries on camera wearing bathing suits, we will also do that.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b452-7db8-6339-bd2fdc644011">L “I only eat rarely without you, for lunch.” “That’s not fair, man. The rule is we never do homework for exams. Never study for exams on ‘Good Mythical Morning.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 852: R “Love gets weird.” “I don’t have a wife, I mean, I do have a wife, but why do I have a wife. I don’t deserve her with this performance.” L “I don’t know how you got her.” R “I danced a lot.” “Do they eat they dead things?” “It’s like being trapped in big bag of gummy bears, which is a dream of mine.” “One time I put on a ‘Big Bird’ outfit just for Halloween, and uh, beaks don’t kiss well.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’d love to suffocate you in one right about now.” “All of my love is towards my wife and children.” (looks at camera, winks)</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You know you’re gonna be a good surgeon when you can’t even pull the bloody sheet off of the guy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9ca-944d-fb6a-07262a810d5f">R “We’ve had our fun, now let’s draw on his face.” “I’ve got the heart, Charles. Dr. Neal, I’ve got the heart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 853: R “What better way to say ‘I love you’ than to have something permanently etched onto your skin?” “You know you get a good pair of headphones, and you’re like ‘man, these are the best thing ever happen to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Rule number one of looking at someone’s tattoo: Don’t respond with ‘what is that’, a fill in the blank with the first thing you think.” “It’s like a charm bracelet under your skin.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 854: R “True love waits two days and then it comes out of your butt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-cc28-835b-6752-4358e0cbb19c">GMMore: L “Every time you put on glasses period, you think you should talk like Jeff Goldblum.” “We share so many stories from our past, in this case distant past, cause I’ve been married a long and glorious time.” “Spoiler alert: I did not have a ring.” “Circumstances dictated that we be apart for the summer so we became pen pals.” “The marriage took.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 855: L “Mythical beasts, a question is like something we answer on Thursdays.” R “That’s it?” L “That’s it.” L “Only swirly is worthy?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Well, my kids, “no” stopped sounding like a word to them a long time ago. DAD JOKE!” “He’s about to summit ‘Mount Mail Boulder’!” “Oh, next time, we can do a mountain, a mythical mountain!” “Yeah, you chewing gum too hard if it hurts your shoulder.” “Jen, you know what, we love you just the way you are. Don’t ever change for anyone.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R (making fun of Jen) “In my past life, I have tried lemonade gum, but not this life. Not like this.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 856: L “We have a healthy relationship, I don’t need to communicate with her through this show.” “Let’s let that settle in and gaze upon the sweetness.” “Hey baby, I had big plans for us tonight, but actually, I’m just gonna be in the kitchen drinking milk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m always excited about my wife.” “My mouth has gotten hotter but she stayed just as hot as she already was.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d6ad-24c8-b332-a1137b73aee5">GMMore: L “Stop calling me, beeper!” “Who care? We don’t care.” “Hey baby, let’s go out on a smoothie date. She gonna start rolling her eyes every time I drink a smoothie. She’s like, ‘Really? You’re drinking another smoothie.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 857: R “That’s why I show up to all my world star hip hop fights naked. Look me up! I’m called ‘Big Red’ on world star hip hop.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Let’s just make a vow, right now though. We will never duel each other to the death unless one of us wins a watch from the other in a poker game and promises not to wear it in public and then does.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 858: R “I’m always looking for immediate proximity, or at least illustrations of it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca58-8d51-219c-820d3a29b05c"><span>L “This is basically like sleeping inside of an iMac that’s gonna go obsolete in six months.” R “Yeah, well it looks like something they come up with at Apple, like, in Steve Jobs's absence. They don’t have him there to tell him when the bad idea happens.” L “Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t poo-poo it yet, Rhett, because the features include a surround sound system, fully adjustable mattress and INTEGRATED READING LIGHTS!” R “Are you Oprah now?” L “Yeah! That was a good Oprah!” R “You’re gonna give everybody a re-, everybody gets a free reading light!” L “FREE READING LIGHT!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I'm about to unload this bed on you." "My skin is brown if I get tan." “Make a song out of this, somebody. Remix: Hypercolor pajamas on a burger bed, when I wake up in the morning, then I look like I’m cook-ed.” “This is the ‘Good Mythical More’ that I go to my falsed voice a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Burger Nights should be a restaurant that’s only open at night.” “You don’t want to commit too hard to anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 859: L “A comma is not a letter.” R “It’s its own thing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “It’s all fun and games until somebody chokes on their pizza.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I feel like a grandma in this episode because, I’m serious, I have never used an emojicon, emoticon, emoji in a text.” “It’s for the legal records whenever we need to sue each other.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link and I will email one another. The kinds of things that we should text about.” “I like writing ‘Dear Link.’ ‘Best, Rhett.’ Sometimes, I do ‘Always, Rhett.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 860: L “I’m pregnant with popcorn.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “They didn’t have algebra in 1909. What are you, crazy? Algebra’s invented in the ‘50s!” “My philosophy is once you start something like this, you can’t end without getting it right, because in life, things need to end on good notes. That’s a philosophy of mine. So once you start trying something, you have to do it until you do it. You cannot engrain in yourself that you couldn’t do something and give up on it. Don’t engrain losing into your brain, guys. You’re like a duckling, and you need to imprint winning into your brain.” “You heard about Mother Goose? She ain’t got nothin’ on me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 861: L “Whenever I want to manipulate bacon, I used a cuticle cutter.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Have you have the pet toothbrush eggs?” “Hey! I found a coffee teet! This is like the greatest moment of the Lewis and Clark adventure. Just when we got to the base of the Rockies, we found a coffee teet, and me and Lewis drank from it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “So, this is Barbara, we adopted her… she’s a Maltese mutt...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fa47-eadf-8864-718df3fd35cf">L “So you have to choose between your wife and your dog.” R “Yeah, it’s a weird family situation.” L “That’s sad.” “Congratulations, welcome to the dog squad.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 862: L “Now we all know that celebrities name their babies weird names, that’s why, as an aspiring celebrity, I named my kid ‘Lando’...” “Lettuce by any other language is still lettuce.” “It’s ‘Nina’ with a ‘j’. Embrace it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “As someone who wanted to name their kid ‘Ninja’ at one point, as you did…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “‘Fake Plant Dusters,’ that’s a good band name.” “Link, you’re the baby name genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘Audio Science’ is the greatest name I hope exists.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 863: L “As a kid, I was deathly afraid of lightning, but I also wanted to be a weatherman.” “Ladies and gentleman, the headline reads lightning has proclivity for the anus.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R (singing->) “You’ve been thunderstruck.” “So in a lot of ways this lightning chose her anus.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “When in doubt, huddle about.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 864: L “Like if you pushed it, pushed your hand, like you wanted to resuscitate the real Earth by smooshing it from the North Pole down, it’s like ‘whoops, I killed it.’ It’s a pancake.” “Who knew that the flat Earth theory could create a rap battle?!” “I think he also say ‘we got to close the Star-gat-e.’ Gonna do it, I’m gonna do it. I look like Dana Carvey, I’m gonna do it.” “Next time you go number one, grrraaab a thermos.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I love 2016!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...I’m not the kind of person who has a disposition that wants to believe conspiracy theories.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 865: R “He’s quite a wing fiddler.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I forgot my wallet this morning! And I went back in the house twice…!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I’m the horse that calls you ‘boss.’” “I’m a stubborn mule.” “Being a horse is difficult.” “We could quit if we got a Corvette.” “I could watch a whole documentary about piano tuning.” “I see myself as a smiley face and a long leg.” “You know if you milk yourself, you get abs.” “Everyone knows unicows make black milk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’re a mule man.” “That’s a t-shirt. The sun is always shining on a unicow that’s milking itself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-1913-1322-2cff-448a0dd56231">Jen “The mail is weird. It brings out a strange side of all of us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 866: R “Fondue is one the greatest things that humans have ever come up with, dipping things in liquid cheese. This has got to make everything amazing.” L “Vaccines?” R “Better than vaccines! You heard it here!” L “The internet?” R “Tied.” L “Your mom?” R “My mom is better.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Hold on! That was going to be my heaven!" L “I’m sorry that I busted your heaven.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is not the cheesecake that I think most people would expect if they were to order it."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>L “You know what eye smells like?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-1ec0-b83f-1a8a-642f71d5ab2c">GMMore: L “Feel the stress leaving your face, your neck, shoulders, bosom. I haven’t said that word ever.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 867: L “There are an estimated eight and half million species, different ones. I know because I counted.” “I have no expertise and neither do you so chill out on the specific drug references.” “My father-in-law likes to mispronounce words to be funny, but we just think he didn’t have good vocabulary.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Can’t Barbara just come in and just strut her stuff and it has nothing to do with what dog is better. It’s just, if she can do lots of tricks, and your dog can’t do any, it doesn’t say anything about your dog, it just means that Barbara’s amazing.” “We’re basically turning our house into a county fair run by dogs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My dog is nothing but a love sponge.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 868: L “Don’t cross the Walmart.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Passive aggressive notes can change the world.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 869: R “I thought Link was my sidekick.” “Hey, it happens and you’re like, ‘oh, it was gonna be such a good thing but we’re gonna have weird babies if we keep this up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I thought Rhett was my sidekick.” “But it seems like I know something about the comic.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Kevin Smith: “Yeah, you know something about reality.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R: “What’s the ‘SB’ stand for?” Chase: “Sidekick Boy!” R “Okay, ‘Sidekick Boy, fetch me some coffee.” Chase: “Yes, sir!” R: “He’s so compliant. I love it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: K: “And I said, ‘what is it,’ and they said ‘they just do a ten minute talk show every day.’ And I was like, ‘what? like who’d they ask?’ and they said, ‘nobody, they just did it.’...” “You ain’t directed a movie until you’ve been dressed like a sausage...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-3aff-d1ae-f1ae-b1a1ee81469b">L “Well, we asked Rhett’s wife is we could use the converted car garage behind his house.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 870: L “I love Twenty-Two Pilots, they’re great! I think they got an extra pilot somewhere.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “The ironic thing is when you’re leading a clap-along and you’re playing the guitar, you cannot clap. It’s always been a frustration of mine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Do roosters hang out?” “One’s a wingman, ha ha ha ha ha!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 871: L “Giant chickens are better than chickens.” “Do birds have a kingdom?” “That’s a town. That’s a suburb of the bird kingdom.” “I’d show up for that.” “I like the idea of a big nest for a bed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We don’t have to dink our eggs. I’m afraid we might accidentally create another bird.” “Yeah, Birdville.” “I did stuff as a child.” “If ladies laid eggs, the pregnancy would be a very different time. You’d go into the bedroom and your wife would just be, like, sitting on the egg, and be, like, "baby, you wanna come watch House of Cards?” “Why can’t you just bring the laptop over here, I gotta sit on Junior!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4493-4a1c-86cd-a81c76767b0e">GMMore: L “Well, I’ve never made an omelette before.” “It’s my first exotic scramble.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 872: L “Well, cats shed when they pee on themselves.” (singing->) “Midol will help you get your zzz’s.” (about Rhett->) “He does have a lot of dolls, like, he makes his bed and then he places all the dolls on the bed, he’s like, ‘don’t touch my dolls!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Back in the day, to be a doctor, all you had to have was a lot of confidence and a little bottle of tincture.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I became the person I am because my dad jump-scared me so much so I’m gonna do it to my kids. I think it teaches them you can never be sure, you can never feel safe.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 873: R “If you didn’t notice, I’m a pretty big man myself. Haven’t been to a psychic, but I like to think that I’m also here to help save you, Link, and the crew.” L “You gotta have a big frame to save the human race?” R “I can pack 300 pounds on here real easy, REAL easy. You wouldn’t believe it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...You produced the track for our most popular video of all, ‘Nerd vs Geek’...and ‘Christmas Face.’” “We found the iguana!” “Would you like to stroke the iguana with your fingernail?” “Ointmelt.” “Music… It’s like scientific geeking out.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Andrew Huang “ “Garbange.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Yeah, Chuck Testa gave us that. We put it in a briefcase, Chuck. Just found it.” “Looks like I got a turkey hugging me from the back.” “Helment.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 874: R “My ears get red sometimes when people are talking about me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s how glitter’s made. You slap your face.” “When Rhett hears the word ‘hour’, he sees the back end of a peacock. Hours of peacock butt!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “...when I hear sounds, I picture three-dimensional shapes. It is very, very subconscious and if I start trying to really think about, it doesn’t even make sense in my own brain, but it’s very, very consistent and very prominent and it was much more prominent as a child. ” “This is what ‘nine’ feels like in my mind...like a smushed hamburger top.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 875: L “Denim underwear, peeps! Ripping is not an issue.” “Our personal pride is on the line.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We still have some of that?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 876: R “It’s so sour, it made my nosebleed?” I’m a curious cat, Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-6817-8282-9bcb-9ee113ef8429">L “I can create a flesh moustache on my own face.” “Cut diamonds with my flesh moustache?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 877: R “I’m always ready to put a fart out there."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca7a-c66a-3ff4-2d324815dac1"><span>GMM 878: L “That is a bunch of duck.” “Dang, they get around, man. I didn’t know they were migratory birds.” (singing) “Ocean pollution is awesome!” “Swordfish got big eyes. Swordfish got real big eyes. Swordfish eyes, big.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 879: L “Shield your eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 880: L “Don’t let the sun set on an unresponded text.” “You throw ‘em up & it’s particle time!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I love the English language and how it can be manipulated.” “Don’t punch Jen’s delts.” “I’m always turning over rocks while hiking.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Zach West was the old me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 881: R "What's good here, bartender?" Chase "I recommend number two." (poem->)"'Here we are at the oxygen bar. We're gonna go home together in a car. If we die before we wake, at least this oxygen we got to taste." "...because watermelon backwards is honeysuckle." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I feel like I could bust through a wall. Not a physical wall, more like an emotional wall.""When I woke up this morning, I could only breathe out of one nose." "...when you serene really hard, you start chilin'."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 882: L “A cocktail of detergent in the underwear. That way whenever you soil yourself, it cleans.” “You know what I just invented? Detergent underwear! So eat that! Well, they’re not edible, but buy that!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Look! It’s a flying squirrel! No, it’s Panty Boy!” “It was a night dress for a boy… What was I saying?” “It had nothing to do with GreenPeace, it had everything to do with the principle of being pressured into making a decision at my own front door. I’m not comfortable with that. Any type of decision.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I look like a walking ring pop!” “And I don’t like making decisions in my living room.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span> </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfaf-b7b2-0e35-2626ce1a4a35"><span>GMM 883: R “...I think it’s time for us to make a confession.” L “Yeah, um, we’ll just tell you. Listen, the voices that you have come to know and love are not our own.” (camera pans to Chase and Mike) Chase “Hey, we’re the real Rhett and Link. I’m Chase and I’m the voice of Rhett.” Mike “And I’m Mike and I’m the voice of Link. Now you finally know the truth.” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 884: R “I don’t understand you sometimes.” "I have asymmetrical eyes. Just look at my Instagram. You'll figure it out." “I wanna be ‘The Glow Boys.’” “Welcome to ‘The Metal Face Club.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I look so smooth. It’s like you could ski off my face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 885: Eddie “Gurl, this gossip is garbage!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb0-308d-ed4a-5280169c9635"><span>L “Just yourself be if weird is you.” R “You make change to you friends shouldn’t.” L “Think about worry what people other don’t.” R “Friend you accept for you who a true are.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-aa1c-052c-a713-40591eefe4d5">GMMore: R “You know, I’ve actually looked into this a little bit because there still is a McLaughlin castle that I’m planning on taking over at some point, in Scotland. I’m not joking. There’s a dude who watches over it and I’m thinking about ousting him, maybe in my ‘50s because I figure by then I’ll b<span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-aa1c-c32b-9725-b3445c6832d4">e bored. I’m gonna go over there and I’m gonna be like ‘I’m here, buddy. It’s time. Your stay is over.’”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 886: L “You know, Eddie makes beef jerky. He’s got a side business.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’re telling me that there’s a possibility that one of y’all walking down Hollywood Blvd sees a band aid, picks it up, like, ‘we can use this on the show!’” “That eye almost came out. That’s as close as I’ve ever gotten to an eye just coming out and hanging.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 887: L “I would weep in my tapas.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I think the only way that that can be topped is if we one day meet in Barcelona and enjoy some tapas together and you sing that to her. If I saw you sing that to her, I could die at that point.” “I’ve got, like, ten moments in my life that I consider ‘the peaks’ and a couple of years have gone by...before one of those moved into the top ten and pushed something out. I think that just moved into number ten and my second child being born moved out of the top ten.” “Sorry, Shepherd, you’re at number eleven.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 888: Hank: “I know about feeling and I know, I’ve met the earth. We’ve met, we have a relationship. I’ve touched the earth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Yeah, I touch lots of birds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Hank: “How do pants see, Becky?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I mean, I wore women’s jeans for- there was a stint before the mens jeans got tight enough to my liking.” “When you’re hot, how could you be horrible?” “So glad I don’t know a hot and horrible Chase.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “He did. He wore women’s jeans for at least three years. Go back to the videos and you’ll notice.” “I don’t like to do work, though, in general, but I, like, point people to internet videos.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 889: L “It goes without saying: You can add any cereal you want to a pancake. Live your life to the fullest, people.” “Note to self: Bone stuff is good for you.” “So, will it guinea pig balls?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9dd-0f08-bba3-22e209cb2cd5"><span>“Don’t put mouthwash on your food.” </span></span>“Bone stuff is really good for you. I read in a journal, not like my own journal or somebody’s I stole.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R & L chanting: “There is no trash can.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’ where people eat things because there’s still stuff around after we already ate things and you’re around and you’re special.” “Yeah, welcome to my world. I would never choose to eat anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-caaa-0220-2c70-006ac5d8ce5d">R “ ...like whatever they make chocolate mint ice cream out of, actually putting the chocolate and the mint into the pancakes. Somebody invent that. IHOP, you’ve been challenged, and make them green. I’ll come again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 890: L “I gotta go on the rec here and say that my least favorite part of camping is having to pee in the middle of the night.” R “And it always happens.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb0-67b8-b3cb-3b23c5ae5042"><span>L “I even say to myself, I’m not gonna drink, like, two hours before I get in that tent and I still wake up in the middle of the night and then it’s cold, and you’re like, getting out of your warmness and then you gotta put your shoes on and you gotta step over kids or whoever happens to be in your tent. You don’t even know ‘cause it’s dark!” “Man or woman, don’t use a bottle because there’s too much risk involved. I mean, there’s the aim issue, there’s the capacity issue. Which is gonna give out first? My supply or the capacity of the bottle? And then, the biggest risk of all, you might accidently drink it later!” “Never bend over and tie your tennis shoe at the back end of a pony.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Tastes like a bad summer. That’s what salt water taffy tastes like, like, ‘I had a horrible summer.’” “Last time I mitched, it was pink and brown.” “If your mitch is pink and brown, see a medical professional immediately.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m tired of the counting and yelling.” “Please let mitch be a verb.” “That’s what I called your beard: ‘Mitch.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 891: R “Let’s talk about that.” “You know what time it is.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Good Mythical Morning!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d3b2-c38f-99d8-6075e10ae688">GMMore: *complete silence for April Fools gag</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 892: R “‘...or D. That you should change your sheets because you probably peed in real life.’ That could happen. Happened to me one time as an adult. Shouldn’t have admitted that.” “Link, you’re a dream genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I am the think master and the dream master.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You do you, ball.” “If you wanna get your ball where you want your ball to be, you gotta be positive.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 893: R “If you wanna win a game show, study the patterns, drive an ice cream truck, and put your pin number in wherever possible.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I’m not french kissing you on camera, Barbara. We talked about that!” (reading his phone->) “Imagination is the act of exploring parallel universes, unless parallel universes can violate the laws of physics. In that case, imagination is not.” “...and I felt horrible for all the me’s that were being murdered.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You shouldn’t be allowed to be alone in the desert anymore ‘cause I’m afraid for you.” “I’m so happy that I’m this me, too.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 894: R “I’m like a pancake, man. I can’t get done on one side. You gotta flip me over.” “It dudn’t get any better than tickle fingers.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-f280-96d7-c05a-8ac7cad2f15e">L “ Don’t ever let me walk into our office and see you doing this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 895: R “One does not simply get over spiders.” “That’s the only rule of ranch emersion is you let me emerse myself!” "I went too far!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I can't hear anything. I got ranch in my ears! I cannot hear anything!" </p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 896: R “There’s knowledge in chewing.” “Babies have no taste.” “Cats got worse taste than babies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is how I’m gonna go out, guys. Choking on a non-organic tortilla chip.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Can we have a little talk with you? Um, this has got to stop. This, us eating and drinking gross stuff, has got to stop, I mean.” “I kinda thought we’d start liking it, you know? I thought we’d turn over a new leaf and it would be like, look, we’re new people. We like nasty stuff. We’re ‘Nasty-tasters.’ Hasn’t happened yet.” “A cookie solves a world of problems. It covers a world of pain.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-00de-711c-69e8-580bf86e8fdf">R “Well, eventually, we’ll run out of things, you know. Can’t keep making weird stuff, can they? We just can’t keep finding it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 897: L “Okay, Rhett, how many kids do you have?” R “Hm, two.” L “Check! And what current reading level are you at?” R “At least, sixth grade.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Why are we supposed to hate unicorns? What good does that add to the world?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 898: L “Kids, just say no to the hidey-hole.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I always say, ‘Why use a bank when you’ve got orange fishing twine!’” “Who hasn’t been in their dad’s attic looking for his badminton racket?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We should be each other’s first punch.” “I was just interactin’ with it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-0cea-48a0-7c7f-5403e06ca897">L “What kind of jerk can’t walk up a slide?” “I feel very safe under beds and lights.” “Whatchu been doin’ with them generators, boy?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 899: R “And if we are anything, it is new and wacky!” “Light Beard and Hell Boy are in charge again.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m a toilet genius.” “Glow in the dark gods of the apocalypse with their glow in the dark chicken.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Well, you gotta have scissors ready, for anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-12e8-fed5-ee9d-0275460e4b9f">L “Scrubbing is for losers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 900: L “...we frequently solve our conflicts with toast fights...” “Like, when my eyebrows crinkle that much, you know I’m afraid of something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You made a good choice with the hair.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Who’s more of a clean freak than me? I appreciate that.” “We hired them just so we can eat the fries faster.” “MSG!” “You are the reason we do what we do, 900 times.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We also have a couple of new crew members to introduce you to: Matthew and Daniella!” “By the year 2050 though, all meat will be black market meat, if it’s not synthetically grown meat....” “In ten years, you’ll be eating lab-grown meat and you won’t know the difference.” “...but trust me, thirty years from now, you’re gonna be in your self-driving car, eating a pill, with a little black market meat on the side, and you’ll be like, ‘you know what? When he was eating those french fries, he was right.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-178c-32cf-accd-b75db247986f">R “We could do 9,000 fries.” L “We’re gonna do 9,000 episodes of this show just so we can do that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 901: L “No nugget is a bad nugget.” “I feel like at this point, I have to say, there is nothing that’s been added to these nuggets, we’re just idiots.” “Don’t scrape the nugget. Never scrape a nugget.” “Geogranuggets.” “Never turn down a nugget.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “State Nuggies.” “Okay, enter the nugget. That would be a good movie!” “I’m the nugget king!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Stevie: “I just like how entertained Rhett is by, like, sauces.” R “I love sauces!” “I wanna be the guy who thinks of the sauces.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R & crew: “Chug it, Serpent King.” “It’s a weird party.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-1c38-90cf-6e8f-d60ea1dbdfaa">L “Yeah! I’m at the party, showing off. Everybody thinks I’m awesome! I’m at the party. I’m showing off. Everybody thinks I’m awesome!” “I’m ruint on nuggets for, like, a year.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 902: R “Ah, the majestic squirrel. The pigeon of the trees.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...I have a pale white mole, like, on the top of my head. Like, if you shaved my head, you’ll be like, ‘Gah, what’s that, like, albino ladybug nesting up there for?’ And I’d be like, ‘no, it’s a growth of some sort. I think it’s benign.’” “But you learn so much more when I don’t tell a lie. Like, you know me so much better.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I know the mole’s real because I’ve seen it. Yeah, I mean, you used to have a shaved head and I shaved it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 903: L “I never eat cold brain, except on a pizza.” “I grew up in a redneck wonderland!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I bet nobody’s bidding. I’m trying to make you feel good about your weird toe carrot.” “They call me the constipated soldier.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Constantly pated. That’s me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 904: R “‘Oofty Goofty limped around…’ That’s the beginning of a poem that I can’t finish.” L “That’s actually the end of the poem.” R “Yeah, that’s just it. That’s just a historical fact. Oofty Goofty limped around.” L “But, I will never eat anything on this show in the future without saying ‘Oofty Goofty, Oofty Goofty, Oofty Goofty.’” I’ma start doing that. Everyone should do that!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Every time I went to Link’s house as a child, he had pudding.” L “There’s not a lot of pudding in my life.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “My notes to self are like those, like, the generic post-its that you get that don’t really stick.” L “Off-brand note to self.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 905: R “How much butt heat do ya need?” L “Three hours ‘ll do!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve always got Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and a funnel. They always look at me funny at TSA. ‘Sir, what are ya gonna do with that funnel?’ ‘Well, come with me and you’ll find out.’ I mean, on the plane.” "Buddies can share smoothies. Who says you can't?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Booty bar!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Pop it and the stocks go rising!” “Link, you’ve been vindicated for the first time ever!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My aunt Viki referred to dookie-ing as hockey.” “She said, ‘do you need to hockey?’ And I thought it was a bad word, too.” “What? I’ve been vindicated a lot. This is my show. Our show, but I mean it’s half of my show, I should get vindicated half the time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 906: L “Get it down, sailor man.” “Dingle the dangle.” “Just send it down the elevator. Send it down the swallow chute.” “Poor little bacon. Daddy got to eat bacon. I don’t know why I called myself ‘daddy.’” “I’m proud of you, man. Stoneface McLaughlin. Retching it up like a walrus.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is my Kryptonite. This is literally the only thing that I cannot eat.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Eddie: “They’ve been boiled for safety.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More.’ We’re standing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-3fcb-a62e-8a06-bbdd8e32b84e">R “Yeah, this is the new thing. Standing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 907: R “Death by groin attack.” L “It happens.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb1-27e0-f335-93a6ee212a89"><span>R “I’m gonna die next year?” L “Yep!” R “if that actually happens, this is gonna be one crazy episode!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 908: R “Twins can be a little bit weird, can’t they? Yes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Right, down, right left square.” “Right, left. Down down square. Is that how they do it in the games? Is that how gamers do it? They do a little tunes to themselves?” “Congratulations, Link. You got turned into lava!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I feel like I won. I became a human volcano. If that’s not a winner, I don’t know what is.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 909: L “You’re a human. Don’t be stupid.” “Business with the hands. Pleasure with the spoon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’ because there’s more to your life than watching this.” “You got gerbil cheeks and troll nose.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 910: L “How do you spill coffee on the back of a t-shirt? Sadly, I’ve done it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I wanna be a brave boy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s how this show operates. ‘If you do it, I’ll do it too.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What? Am I the only one that wears underwear more than two days in a row?” Stevie: “You wear underwear four days in a row?” L “By accident, sometimes. Did I say that? Two days, definitely. Three days, maybe. Four days, it happens!” “I swim against the stream and I’m proud of that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’ve got, like, a whole novel inside every article of clothing and I didn’t know about it until ‘MythicalCity’ asked this question.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 911: R “Sad and fancy.” L “Sancy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’ve always wanted to know what it’d feel like to be pregnant with an alien.” (singing->) “I come from a soup down under!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Next time you hose down the Cinnabon, call me." R <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9df-2a84-a981-f3194bc3ae9e"><span>“I’ve never wanted to be pregnant so bad in my life!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “...Where the sidewalk ends.” L “And my mouth begins?” R “Where the sidewalk ends and my mouth begins.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “But vegemite is so bad. Why do y’all like it?” L “It’s so weird.” R “Something’s wrong with y’all! Your toilets go the wrong way and your brains are backwards. L “But we love ya, Australia.” R “We do, we love you. Thanks for watching, Australians.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...I have never laughed so hard with anus in my mouth as I did in that episode. I’ve never laughed that hard on this show!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-7e5d-666e-1618-82f04454c8f4">R “ You learn something new every day that might be false.” “Knowledge if flexible. Truth is relative.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 912: L “Keep your cloaca, birds!” “When in doubt, guess testicles on this show.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...if you got somebody out there you’re crushing on, you should be like, ‘hey, baby. You look like your face has been covered in gladiator sweat and blood.’” L “Yes, I’m writing that down.” R “See how they respond to that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “We almost called this show, ‘Mega Cool.’ ‘Mega Cool Morning.’ But then we decided against it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You feel mega cool?” L “I feel pretty mega.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 913: L “You’re getting a little too acquainted with it.” R “Oo, that feels like a face.” L “It’s gonna want to go home with you if you keep this up.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “My feelers are ready!” “You wanna make friends with this thing, not enemies.” “You were rubbin’ up on a lobster! Dang! It was responding to your touch!’</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Pet it like you’ve never pet before, Link!” L “My rectum is so tight.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb1-73a8-d13e-83bb7fbb4ffc"><span>R “Pet it like you love it, Link! Pet it like you love it!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-7e5d-b94b-5a0f-7a1679b38d13">GMM 914: L “There is a biter in every class.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 915: R “Don’t let anybody touch that carrot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 916: R “I’m a paleontologist who explores my own mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 917: R “It kinda feels like you had chicken on the brain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If my dentist wore that mask, I’d be just as afraid of him as I already am!” “He’s bull on the top, spandex man on the bottom. I don’t know where he hides the talent.” “Chase’s grandma was a professional wrestler!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Weighing in at 350 pounds spread evenly across his seven foot six inch frame, it’s the one, the only, Tree Man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 918: L “You know something’s a hoax when LAPD tweets, hashtag hoax.” (#hoax)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I click a lot, man. I’m a clicker. I am a clicker.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hey, man.” R “Hey.” L “So, remember that little people argument about the lion?” R “I’m dead.” L “This is how you wanna settle it? Really?” R “I’m dead.” L “Come on, man. We’re not in middle school anymore.” R “I know. I’m dead.” L “Stop. Okay, fine. I’m dead.” R “Oh!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Should’ve warned me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 919: R “There is a full donut in her hair. That makes me hungry!” L “I’m starving.” R “There’s donut with a cinnamon roll on top of it!” L “Excuse me, girl. Can I taste your hair? The donut part?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Churro warmer. That’s what they call me at DisneyLand!” (singing->) “Yeah! I’m ready for you to do what it takes to pull out my teeth and make a canal for a boat ‘cause I don’t even know what a route canal is! I’m happy about it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Don’t I look reliable? Don’t I look like I know information?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hi. I like myself.” “Hold me later if you’re stupid!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 920: L “It’s like if a tornado came through a gas station and your mouth was open, you know, you’d be happy!” “Get the party started, Rhettster!” “This is how kings eat at gas stations.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re gonna wanna do this inside the gas station. They’re gonna look at you funny!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb1-b479-66a9-f8023d96ee0a"><span>R “...and a chicken pot pie is only as good as its walls.” L “That can be on the box if we ever sell this.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 921: R “Barbeque is not a verb. It is not something you do. It is not cooking out. Barbeque Is a noun. It is meat prepared in a very special way.” “I hate it when I don’t know what to think.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I do not order barbeque on a website. That seems weird. I go up to the pig and I pull it.” “My brain is confused, but my mouth is so happy. If I could just take barbeque intravenously, I’d be a constantly happy person.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Like, if you want to be invited to every party in your county, just have a pig cooker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-b740-12bd-4c70-a9d554c9bd06">R “I am making it my mission right now, the most important thing in my life at this moment right now is to become a better barbecue taster.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 922: L “You don’t want Connor to have your number.” “This game has got my goat!” “eBay hates me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Reindeer pee. It’s just cinnamon flavored which that is what it takes like if you drink it from the source.” R “Yeah, talk about a cinnamon stick.” L “You just turned 83. That joke made you 83 years old. I hope it was worth it.” R “I can’t wait to be 83, man. I’m gonna sit on a porch and just make those kinds of jokes constantly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Canine anal gland.” L “Expression.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 923: L "Last time I was sleeping, what did you try to do? Grab at the feets." R "Do ya need 'em? Do you really need 'em?" L "I need the feets." R "Why do you need 'em?" L "'Cause I walks on the feets." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Both: “Where my feet?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 924: L “Mr. Cocky has earned the right to take away the choices.” “You know you’re rolling in dough when you got- well, it dudn’t take dough to make yogurt.” “I’m like an old woman who doesn’t know how to pronounce any celebrities’ names right. ‘I love that Burnt Reynolds. I picked up a VHS set from Walmark of him.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s my Oprah. I get worked up when I have a good joke.” R “Yeah, you get Oprah-ish a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Melon-Connie. That was my mom’s nickname.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There’s no sickness here.” “Feel like a winner!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 925: R “Well, I always garden in pantyhose. I like a smooth tan look. When I wear a skirt, I want people to be, “Dagummit. Her legs are so tan.’” “You look like you’ve just given birth to, like, twelve alien babies that can only be grown in crocs.” “We have the perfect items for the garden that is your face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Bust that bean.” R “I can’t bust the bean and that’s what worries me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Are you wearing a new fragrance? Is that you? Oh! Oh, you fanned it. It’s like a bubble gum.” L “That’s my deodorant, man.” R “You got bubble gum deodorant on?” L “Maybe.” R “Where’d ya get that?” L “Well, my armpits.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Y’all like to give me mushy.” (singing->) “Delicate toes.” “My feet have been nourished.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Feet ain’t for feeling.” L “They’re for gardening.” R “Feet are for gardening.” L “Feet are for gardening, uh, fingers are for feeling.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’: It gets you breathing. That’s our new slogan here.” “I am a kindred spirit with any trumpet player.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You learn a lot when to come to my shop.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 926: L “Sample our beans? Sample our beans? Would you like to sample our beans?” “We could beans those guys.” “I’m the beanius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Beans, beans, good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you-” R “Love ‘em and want more of ‘em.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Fart. The more you fart, the better you-” R ”Feel.” L “So eat-” R “beans” L “at-” R “every meal.” L “meal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t think birds make beans. If they do, we should invest.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-cea7-b54b-6869-6929dd5e00bc">R “I’m a man who’s never met a bean he didn’t like.” L “I’m a man who just started liking beans.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 927: L “Fun fact: Grady Grange’s mating season is that one time in 1986. I love ya, Grady. You’re enthused by big feet!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’ll never see a Bigfoot face-wince.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We’re just one reach away from a ‘Wet One’ at all times.” “‘Cause once you post a Bigfoot sighting, you need not post anything else.” “Never film your friend in a Bigfoot costume closer than thirty-one feet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 928: R “Your backyard is your kingdom and you are the king or queen of your backyard.” (singing->) “It’s my backyard and I’ll build what I want to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: (playing Minecraft) R “I have a killer instinct. I didn’t know I was like this.” “Houston, we have a problem. I’m stuck in Travis’s hole.” L “I’m like Travis’s brother. I’m just watching you, laughing, but I’m not gonna help you.” R “How do I get out of this?” L “Dig out, dumb nut!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 929: R “I got full brow!” L “I got a full eye! Alright, you won, but I got a better selfie!” R “Good for you!” L “And that’s what matters most!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t expose the baby. Free the baby!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Centauri. I would name a kid Centauri if I was plum out of those, if I wasn’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb2-3949-e485-afb1e966fa12"><span>L “This game is my nemesis, man.” R “Well, it’s not your cup of tea.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “This game is my nemesis, man.” R “Well, it’s not your cup of tea.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 930: L “If you wanna see your future, just look at your butt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’re a palm buffer!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I do feel like you’re a yearner.” R “I am. I’m a yearner. I’m always yearning and I always have, even in the past. I yearned for my present and my future.” L “You yearninate a lot.” R “Yeah, yeah. I’m a yearninator.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My ideas are my seed corn. I can do this.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 931: L “Back up the truck ‘cause I’m hopping in.” R “I’m getting in the same truck and I don’t even know where we’re going. It could be a garbage truck. I don’t care.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9e2-e219-2458-0d7df295e6cb"><span>R “Tastes like I just went into a part of a pet store, and just, like, opened my mouth and dove.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “But the cookieness is saving me.” “Send it to the basement, slam the door.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 932: R “‘Cool Runnings’ was an incredible movie! It defined a generation of Jamaican bobsledders.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “They also translated ‘white men can’t jump’ as ‘corn can’t dunk.’” L “That really rolls off the tongue.” R “‘Corn can’t dunk,’ that’s my favorite.” L “No, it can’t. Ask any farmer.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Views don’t lie. Hips don’t either.” R “Yep. We should get Shakira to do our theme song.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-28bd-f378-7dc1-5e6003c0a1e6"><br/> GMM 933: Drew: “But don’t you just wanna punch me in the face?” R “Yep.” L “I think you’re a great person and your neck looks really warm.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 934: L “Booker and the Birdbath. That would be a good tv show in the 80s.” R “Probably not. Maybe a good scene.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Pigs are smart, man! I’ve always known this.” L “You know what, points for you, Rhett! You’ve always known that pigs are smart.” “Extra love and a little bone. Sometimes, that’s all it takes.” “It’s his birthday. Let him do what he wants to.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Jade and Barbara, I hope you’re watching and I hope you’re taking notes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfc0-0822-8106-d3190ac4616e"><span>GMMore: L “Miniature horses are for winners.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 935: L “It tastes soft and better.” R “Soft and better! You know what we can do?” “Let’s start bottling LA river water through these things and call it, ‘Soft and Better.’ We can be the mascots. You be Soft, I’ll be Better.” “Link’s soft, I’m better.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We’re gonna have to get a third person who’s gotta be Fruity.” Both “Soft, Better, and Fruity.” Alex “Mike said he would be Fruity.” Mike “I’ll be Fruity.” L “You can be Juicy, you can be Fruity.” R “What a team.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfd5-1b8b-a760-93ddab433798"><span>R “It tastes like what pee smells like.” “Coffee’ll fix everything, Link. You’re gonna be okay.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 936: L “We are frozen geniuses.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We make a good team. With me, us, and my glasses.” “Glitter never bothered me anyway.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I see people.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-28be-3d48-dd4f-95c15c935571"><br/> GMM 937: L “Fun fact: Ferrets are not real. They’re just stretched out noodle rats.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 938: L "My grandma’s name was Fanny. It still is. She goes by ‘Nel.’"</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 939: R “Food poisoning is my favorite movie.” “We’re foodinary geniuses, Link!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Eggplant-o-lantern. That’s a good idea, by the way.” “That’s weird, man. Accidental eating.” “This is exhilarating, guys. I’ve never felt more like an adult.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You know you got a good joke when someone says ‘oh, I get it!’ and then explains it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 940: L “Rhett, the sexy gorilla. That’s what your mom called you in high school.” R “That’s not true.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What, what, what are the chances?! Selfie! Selfie!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Are you trying to be funny or are being accidentally funny? Sometimes I don’t know.” L “Hey, just cause you lost the game, don’t talk about how stupid I am.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’ll grill a mean chicken wing and spend time with my family.” “They only spend time with me if chicken wings are involved.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 941: L "Today, I am wearing my spicy shirt and by spicy shirt, I just mean a red shirt because I just want to signify that that's the only type of spicy that I like, in shirt form, okay?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I have the power of choice. Can I also have the power of talk?” “You’re just a guy that can’t choose a long pepper.” “Y’all’ve ruint my cereal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You can’t let fate decide. You must pull the trigger of your own choosing.” “That’s some hot strawberries!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Absorb! Absorb!” L “Absorb what?” R “The pain!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’re crying.” R “I’m not crying.” L “Your left eye is crying.” R “I’m absorbing the pain.” L “It’s leaking out of your left eye.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t know why I don’t like coconut. I’m such a jerk. I’m sorry, coconut.” “I’ll never turn down a pineapple.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 942: L “Listen, we like to think of ourselves as pretty hip guys.” R “Oh, yeah.” L “We pick up what you throw down!” R “That’s right. YOLO bae, your swag is on fleek.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Are we gucci?” R “We’re gucci.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Get my towel!”... L “I don’t like to wet things. That makes me ‘GMT.’ That gets me tight. That makes my upset.” … R “That sounds like something you say when you’re getting pumped at the gym. GMT! That barbell makes me tight.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Don’t get angry at the slangers!” R “Well, I just feel like they need to consult me before they put this in Urban Dictionary.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Everything about this shirt says that somebody here made it.” “Love is a verb.” “She walked into the room so biscuitly. Hashtag curve.” “Y’all don’t even know about us.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-4a31-367b-bf46-bfbf6500eaca">L “A good country music song would be called ‘Redneck Rubbernecking.’ I do the Redneck Rubberneck. It’s a dance. It’s a line dance.” “Rhett & Link: waterboys for Brooks & Dunn.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 943: R “I do remember the one time that I peeked at the tooth fairy when I was a child just with one eye. Looked a lot like Kesha. So, I’m doing the math now, putting it together. She’s the tooth fairy.” L “Kesha plus teeth equals tooth fairy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I also thought that tooths give support.” R “Tooths give support, man. Listen, I love you mythical beasts, but if you send to me your teeth, I’m not making underwear out of them. I don’t want your teeth on my body parts.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 944: L “I’m not really good at using knives.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m not really good at cutting things. What? Like you know how to cut an onion, Drew.” D “I don’t.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We’re all very worried about you right now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Just cutting onions like a man does.” L “I’m just letting bread hang out of my mouth like a man does. I’m a bread hanging mouth man.” R “That’s like a Johnny Cash song.” Both singing-> “I’m a bread hanging mouth man,” R “-coming down the line.” L “Buy a ticket for my train.” R “Last time I hung bread from my mouth, I killed a man in broad daylight.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is a classy internet show.” R “I just gave you a gentleman’s offer to fart.” L “I felt like something else could have happened.” R “Oh, if you try to force a fart?” L “Yeah. Season finale would come early this year.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You know, now that I have a dog, I feel like I can be a better dog. Be a better dog.” “Gather around and be happy, kids!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 945: L “I’ve met Chase’s dad. Yeah, he comes with a chinchilla.” “That’s a cool dude, Lena. I wanna meet your dad!” “I’m good at knowing is someone has dad in their eye.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Go with the nose! Go with the nose! So proud of my son.” “Kid Rock’s cool, man. He’s cool. Look at that jacket. He’s a good guy.” “If we ever go on a father identification quest, trust me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Okay, Leonardo DiCaprio’s dad is not Charles because that’s my dad!” … R “That’s Link, man. Your dad is you. In fact, I don’t think your mom was involved. I think he cloned a piece of himself. Your dad knows some scientists, man. He cloned himself and that’s how you were made. You’re a clone!” L “I’m cool with that. I don’t know if my mom will be okay with that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’d like an Oculus Rift.” R “I ain’t Santa, I’m just cutting the hair. I’m done.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What I ask for is a Shop Vac, which is very fatherly, and binoculars. I want my kids to decorate my Shop Vac, like ‘World’s Greatest Dad.’” “We’re starting something new. The Key Ring of Mythicality.” “We want keychains for the one key ring. We don’t want other key rings.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The Mythical Mail Museum is not going away. It is a permanent installation of the Mythical Castle, is what Christy calls this place that we work.” R “She calls it a castle?” L “She makes fun of me. She’s like, ‘your mythical castle?’” R “Wow, my wife would never say that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-5af2-434d-9b44-7f466d5b34bd">L “We wanna thank all of you who contributed to the Mythical Mail Museum. We pass by it often and we stop and weep.” R “Weep.“ L “We weep.” R “Yeah” L “ We weep openly.” L “We show people who come through-” R “ I can’t go through there without crying and I’m not gonna be able to wear the Key Ring of Mythicality without crying so, keep sending ‘em and we’ll keep crying.” L “But it is a shrine to the family that you’re a part of.” R “Fam.” L “Hashtag fam.” R “We don’t really use that but let’s start.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 946: L “I feel like I just put my nose up to the butt of sushi chef.” R “I don’t think that’s how it works.” L “That’s not where soy sauce comes from?” R “No.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Do peppermints grow on trees?” Drew “I don’t think so.” R “Peppermilk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Please do not take stool samples to your guidance counselor. If you want to go to college, do not take it!” “This is like a date in North Carolina. You could have just called this one, ‘North Carolina Date.’” “I don’t know how to be a human right now. I forgot how to hold my arms.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “With feces like that, you should be a barber.” “I’ve never had any food that I thought, ‘Hm, I’d like to dip this into aftershave.” “Fruity up top, smokey on the bottom.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This isn’t my nemesis, is it?” L “I don’t think it’s liver.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You got it all down.” L “I got one down. I got number two to go down.” R “What do you mean, number two?” L “I got two installments.” R “Buy one, get one free? BOGO.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That’s the last frontier of food for me.” L “You could put that on the Vick’s label. ‘Helps you conquer your liver fears.’” R “That’s the last common food that I have never been able to eat. This is a seminal moment in my life and you were here for it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “They should put vapor rub on the table at every liver restaurant.” “I’ve been wanting to activate my belly now that there’s all that nastiness down in it.” “I like that sound. I like that gurgling sound.” “Rhett can’t do a kid’s toy.” “Grow into an alien. Grow into someone who can make an alien gut.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I feel like a scientist!” “Hormones made me angry.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If this is what cooking was, I’d cook more.” L “If there was an alien involved?” R “Yeah, you know. If my meals came in a box that looked this fun, I’d cook for myself all the time, and my family.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Ya know what? If those professors at NC State could see us now, they’d be like, look at those guys.’” L “They did it. Thanks to us, they’ve made it.” R “Finally using those degrees, like a couple of smart boys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6c9c-cf7a-4d77-882a613888fe">R “No, don’t take all of it. I worked so hard for this! Man, kids toy suck now.” L “Lowkey dad don’t know how to make alien guts.” R “I give up. He’s dead.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON TEN</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 947: L “People are gonna be asking, ‘what did Rhett get into over the break.’” “Can we call this ‘the brown snake tutorial’?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Beauty’s on the inside and on the clown-side.” “I’ve liked to have seen a double decker Bob Ross bus!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know, I feel like I could go into this.” L “I think you could, too. You’d be good at it. Leave me out of it.” R “You’ll be a hair stylist and I’ll be a makeup artist in another life.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 948: L “Yeah, a little elbow for the Kevin Costner.” “Purple Priscilla’s are always prowling around my purple Plymouth Prowler.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oh, Rhett. I will not be guessing because I took my fish oil pill this morning and every time I burp, it tastes like the answer. You take fish oil, too, don’t act like-” R “I do, but I get the non-burp version.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s not a fish, but it is the name of the new band I’ve started on the side. We’re a Phish cover band and we play a very trashy version of all the Phish songs. It’s actually not a band, it’s me doing karaoke this Friday. You wanna come? I’m gonna get real trashy and I’m gonna sing a lot of Phish songs.” “There are moments where you really frighten me and I question why you’re my best friend. That was one of them.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s like my hair. Serves no purpose except for show.” L “I’m glad you finally come to grips with that.” R “No function whatsoever.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "It's basically just a hermaphrodite sea slug." L "Aren't we all"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 949: R “She had an extra womb when she put it on Cwaigslist. You don’t need your womb anymore when you’re sixty-one. You put it on Cwaigslist!” “That’s my favorite band. ‘Fatal Diarrhea.’ They put out all the hits.” “I like to think I’m a good pooper. I like to think I would be a good donor. I got large loads and I’m healthy. I’m like a great dane!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 950: R “What was that tune?” L “‘Peeing Down Your Leg, Vol. 1.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 951: L <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9e6-41fb-3c4d-e89f9e526b88"><span>“That is a juicy nanner!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Pickled Snickers parts otherwise known as Snickles.” L “We could sell these at the fair. We could call ourselves St. Snicholas.” R “St. Snicholas! Where are we selling ‘em?” L “Christmas fair.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Be the pizzle king! If you wanna be the pizzle king, you gotta pay the price. You gotta pipe the piper and eat his pipe!” “I’m the pizzle king!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 952: L “You know what I say about a lion turd! Polish it!” “I believe in you, Shia. He pulled a tooth for a role! How can he not get nominated for an Oscar? How many teeth does he have to pull to get nominated for an Oscar?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfef-5076-49f6-88c89e0f686f"><span>R “I’m the goldened banana! Don’t make eye contact with me!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 953: L “I don’t know the anatomy of a bayou!” R “‘The anatomy of a bayou with Link: a company by the music of White Rain’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Never turn down a meat shower!” “Vulture Vomit’s album, ‘Death by Dookie Balls’. Pick it up now at Target, exclusively!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...Vulture vomit, my other favorite band.” “That’s the euphemism for flushing a toilet on a plane: ‘Straight to the Cinnamon's house’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “They think that it’s discarded fuel tanks from</span> <span>a</span> <span>space station, which really freaks me out because when you say, ‘</span><span>a</span> <span>space station,’ I’m like, I thought there was</span> <span>the</span> <span>space station! Is there other space stations up there that are dropping balls?” L “Black balls.” R “And now we’re finding out about it?” L “Yes.” R “Goat farmers are finding out about it? What kinda world do we live in?” L “Ones where space stations blackball us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-78da-56b3-1a9f-e434c1c253ad"><span>GMMore: L “You can’t fail when you’re having fun!” “Raise it like money with Krispy Kreme donuts.” “Can I take over? I’m getting bored.” “You know what? I’ma give you 12 high fives.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 954: R “...while vacationing, I call myself Count Rhett Von Desel.” L “Not with me, you don’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I like anyone building labs in planes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “She looks like Michael from Halloween or a pinata!” R “Oh, come on! Don’t talk crap about her! She’s beautiful, Link!” L “I mean, you hit her in the wrong place, candy comes out! Or the right place.” R “Don’t take her to a kid’s birthday party in Southern California.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Some of the script from Buddy System is creeping into our improv.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m just telling you this right now, if I die and you wanna use a little bit of my credit card to go have some fun, bring me along! I mean, it’d be a great way to remember me!” “And the other thing that I’ll let you know is I do have buried treasure and I will dance towards it. That is a fact, son.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 955: R “Link, you’re on a roll, man. I’m very, very impressed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We should be in the Smithsonian, man! Don’t they have a sculpture part?” L “I do think we’ve earned at least tickets to the Smithsonian.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Guys, this is questionable.”</span> <span>“Thursday means g-mail.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 956: L "Who's Jufran? Me." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I lost by one centimeter? I lost by one centimeter! What are the freaking chances I lost by one centimeter?” L “I love throwing darts!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-78da-c7e6-7ce2-f9408dfd067b"><span>GMMore: L “I’m a seated darter!” “Ranch is like mayonnaise with confidence. That’s why I like it. It’s bold.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 957: L “I love wars without casualties!” “Get me some gravy!” “I could have inhaled this whole sword if I’da sucked harder! I’m glad that didn’t happen!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do you like my Ja Rule impression? I worked on it for at least ten minutes.” L “Sound like DMX.” R “But he kinda sounds the same.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Please don’t hurt me, or me.” L “What about me?” R “Ah, well, that’s up to you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d04e-de6a-14e8-1acc333f8bd4"><span>L “There’s no dancing like nomadic dancing.” R “Yeah, it wouldn’t be the first time.” L “Ain’t no dancing like nomadic dancing and nobody dances nomadically!"</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 958: R “...I’m faking my own beard...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m not ashamed to say how much of a dog person I’ve become that like, this dog is running around in exuberance and it gives me joy untold, unmatched in any other way.” “When you got a dog just sitting there protecting you, you feel like a king.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 959: L “Robots need to back the heck out of the valley. The closest we need to get is Rosie from The Jetsons! That’s it!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 960: L "You can put science on a shoe and we can put Kevin back in middle school. Anything is possible.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Shoutout to you, mini pigs because just ‘cause you’re smaller, dudn’t mean you’re oinky!” R “And...wow!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 961: R “Wow. You change a diaper in a really creepy way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Looks like something you do in the club. Get on the tractor. We’re doing some baby farming!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “White girl hoeing? Like in a garden!” R “You win the internet today ‘cause you said ‘white girl hoeing.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “‘Fresh out the sock’. That’s our rap album.” R “That’s a follow up to ‘White girl hoeing.’ They’re back at it again with ‘Fresh out the sock’!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You got nipple face, Drew!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 962: L “Don’t get braces from Hello Kitty herself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...our series that’s coming out this fall, ‘Buddy System...’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The whole thing is being made in a cave.” L “In a cave where it’s being edited and fashioned and forged. Forged deep within the cave!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 963: R “When I think cosplay, I think you put some effort into it, you didn’t just buy something off of a rack.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I ain’t gonna be his Robin!” "I'm so proud of all of you." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d073-8bc8-af3e-5c37aee115c5"><span>R “How ‘bout just Robin and Robin?” L “Robin and taller Robin.” R “We couldn’t agree on who is gonna be Batman so we’re both Robin</span> <span>because we both can’t be Batman.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0d5-3a7a-5600-cb87cb7697fe"><span>GMM 964: <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d304-135b-3caf-0d489dcb5e8e"><span>R “They brought Charles and his boys into the ship and where they poked and prodded them, emphasis on prodding. There was a lot of prodding.” L “Oh, you're into that?” R “No I'm just giving you the facts.” (submitted by Ashley @mythicallyash)</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0d5-3a7a-5600-cb87cb7697fe"><span>L “Some of the words that I say like, people things happen, I don’t, just-” R “But we all know what you mean.” (submitted by @lohnlightning)</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 965: R “Mythical beasts, your questions are like dreams and our answers are like your alarm clock that says, ‘GET UP AND FACE ANOTHER COLD HARD DAY OF REALITY IN THE REAL WORLD! PUT ON YOUR BIG BOY PANTS AND YOUR BIG GIRL PANTS AND DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS!’” L “Make sure you put both your big girl and big boy pants on. You gotta be totally prepared, uh, for both genders, I don’t know what that means.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The backside of Bob Ross is so comfortable.” “I have leaarrnned something.” “Flaccid fruit? I don’t know if you can use those words together.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s a good slogan. You won’t be able to place the test no matter how hard you try.” L “Can’t place the taste.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 966: R “I can’t tell you how often I get cramps while using the scissors.” “Don’t get any crazy ideas, man. Get lazy ideas!” “Please don’t look at me like that, man! Don’t look at me like that when I’m putting deodorant on. I don’t like anybody to watch me do deodorant especially a man with his tongue out.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Think I look like Shaggy?” L “I let my portraits speak for themselves.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “So you wanna back up buddy rolls at amusement parks?” R “Yeah!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d132-c3ba-2da5-a442731b6f2e"><span>L “It’s like carrying a cushion around with you in the place where it matters the most!"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 967: R “Snap back to reality, oh!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I would watch this. I love to see families in trees! I don’t know, something about that just makes me happy! They’re cozy, they’re happy, but they’re in danger. If they fall, there goes daddy!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But if it were real, it would have been called, ‘West Virginia.’” L “Hm. Throw ‘em under the bus.” R “Oh! I’m sorry, we love you guys! We love you guys. We love you guys.” L “I love West Virginia!” R “And your loving cousins.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Don’t look a gimp shift in the mouth, man!” “I’m never sorry for anything, but I apologize all the time.” “I can’t button a shirt with thumbs. Like, I get help with this all the time. I couldn’t live alone!” “I have a lot of trouble.” “The problem is my thumb all [these] years.” “My thumb has been nothing but trouble!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I mean, your apologies are worthless!” R “I’m sorry, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Viva la color!” “Why do we not have a book? Because we didn’t think it could be a coloring book, that’s why.” "I color sometimes with my kids and then I look up after 30 minutes and they're not there anymore."</span></p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 816-968tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-09-19:2452419:BlogPost:22232482016-09-19T06:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p>(Sept 19 2016)</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, …</strong></p>
<p>(Sept 19 2016)</p>
<p><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 668-815</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 969-1051</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-1052-current" target="_blank">GMM 1052-Current</a></strong></p>
<p></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 816: R “It’s a bacterial buffet. That’s what’s happening in your pits. That’s what smells.” “You responded like you tasted soup. Mmm.” “I wore a tank top again, Chase.” “That’s the worst smell that has come out on this entire thing, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Let me read the ingredients...old paint."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “This is what’s it like being a dad.” “I’m not your son, I’m your left side.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R " We’re double-fisting this burger." “We got too many balls in this family.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 817: R "We're letting the seizure out of the bag, Oliver Stone! We know this was your first film and we think it's great! We think the movie poster's great and we're gonna watch it!" L "Oh, we're gonna watch it!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "If I could have 2 extra mouths for eating, I would trade my eyes in. That's how much I enjoy eating."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 818: L “I’ve milked a cow, but I have not belly-bongo’d with my groin.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Lebron, I know you’re a fan, I know you watch. Why don’t you grow some wings?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 819: R “I look a psychopath trying to send a murder message.” “It all looked like lip to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I think foot coordination is inversely proportional to beard length.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 820: R “This Christmas, I would like to be able to go one week without some stranger asking me, ‘Hey, do you play basketball?’ I DID. I don’t anymore. It wasn’t pro. It was high school. Just ‘cause I’m tall. Yes, I’ve touched a basketball. Get over it!” “There’s an anatomy lesson in that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Link Neal, greatest wrapper of all time!” “Peanut butter is close to my heart. Saying the word ‘plumpy-nut’ is close to my heart.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “If you want to dominate a sport these days, you gotta start at 3.” “My hair is PG-rated, my face is R-rated.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “2016, we get a jacuzzi.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 821: R "There's something you don't know about me, Link. We've known each other for a long time, but I always keep a pack of soy sauce in my left upper pocket." "I'm actually beginning to cry."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You made my pie-hole very happy.” “This is like the edible version of a clown."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 822: L “I hope it becomes clear over the course of this episode that you are demented…” “I could twist your ear off right now with my hand!” “I mean, I’ve been burned a number of times and never once did I make a cow sound when it happened.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Bring out the trample face!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There were no good-old-days.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 823: L “From personal experience, I mean, you can definitely get four kids in a trunk.” “When flatulence and farts are the sexy part of any story, don’t read the story.’</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Kids love getting in the trunk for a little bit."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 824: L “It’s difficult to figure out what’s in your sleeve when I’m not looking at you at all.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “First of all, before you go out on a limb, before you guess, can we just make an agreement that we’ll do something at a kid’s birthday party.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 825: L “I just want to admit that we have a travel item.” “This might be my gateway drug to bidet-ing, especially if it’s bacon scented.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “ Let’s be honest, we’ve stopped thinking years ago.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 826: R “We are living in an instant world, and I am an instant girl.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If I, like, go over to your house one night and Chase is over there feeding you, that’s inappropriate!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 827: R “Nick Cannon doesn’t know what he left.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Don’t give up hope yet. The Christmas Spirit has not died, but you’re killing it slowly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “In my first year of marriage, uh, with my wife, Christy, we, um, as opposed the other marriages I haven’t had yet or whatever, I don’t plan on having any other marriages… Boy, I’m really digging a hole here. Can I start that over?” “A toothbrush is a thoughtful gift? That sounds like an insult.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 828: R “Light my candle, baby.” “Link, quit being the uncle and eat some of this friggin cheese.” “I have a 1958 pallet. That’s what I’m discovering.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ccaa-97a1-cd4c-93c6ff8989c4">L “Heaaavy on the mayo.” “Ham Cane. Why haven’t I invented that?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Happy Bomb Shelter Christmas!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 829: R “...That means decorate for christmas, that was just kind of a euphemism, which for a lot of my life I thought that meant put Holly’s intestines all over the place.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“...and let me tell you Shephard, I know that sometimes you watch this show. Son, if I see you in that room again, I’m going to put you in prison, just like Brandon’s mom.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Nothing’s more liberating that wearing a bikini and stealing candy canes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both: “If your names rhyme, you’re related.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “A little North on North action.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 830: Santa: “Santa wants to know if you want it hard or if you want it soft.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Truthfully, I’m not happy deep inside.” "A remote only needs 4 buttons. Up, down, and mute."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “This is the beginning and the end of fancy panties.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "<span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fb87-2212-b44e-755811137be3">Looks like you guys have been making out with the Christmas tree. Again."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 831: R “Dillnog. Put your finger on the pickle.” “One of the questions that I ask myself during the holiday season is how can I get more cheese into my body.” “Little cheese mountains. I wanna be in there surfing!” "There are few things in this world that make me like a little boy again. Facing down a pint of blood is one of them." "I hate myself." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-dbab-cdfd-60b9-781d13052f3e">L “Body builders, they add eggs to protein shakes. It’s like we’re adding protein to a sport drink.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9d3-4e68-6637-712ea3ca5782"><span>“Everytime I breathe out of my mouth, I can taste like, dead dog.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "It's a good sign to be misunderstood."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON NINE </strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 832: L “I’m pleased to introduce you to my forehead and ears for the first time. Uh, welcome. Welcome to them. Here they are. Here they are. Lot of ad space up here.” “Does my Goozle..? Is it always….?” “This is like my older brother that I didn’t know existed, and when I meet him, I’m like, ‘uh, let’s not be facebook friends, let’s not be acquaintances.’” “Why am I still bald?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “It’s a free country, man. You can do your hair however you want to.” “You know what? If you ever go with this look, I think I’m out. I’m going solo. That’s what’s going to cause me to go solo if you ever achieve that look.” “This is what my prom date looked like in ‘95.” “Looks like a couple of tadpoles trying to dig into your eyeballs.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You know, all the great laughers breathe while they laugh.” “Let’s go back to the beginning, let’s go back to childhood.” “Yeah, you gotta be your own man.” “This is like Charlie Rose at this point.” “I would think, ‘huh, he’s probably into board games.’” “I would say this guy doesn’t rollerblade anymore, but he did.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-33fa-c643-9ae2-4ce5fea4fead">L “I would say, no, I think it’s been a year in the making.” “But I did receive, like, a strange letter from an estranged family member who went into great detail using letters from magazine clippings to say that if you don’t get rid of those wings and that swoop...you’re gonna become very irrelevant.” “I saw a guy, and I’m being for real, who was an older gentlemen who had a hair style very similar to mine and I judged him.” “Negatively.” “They could come back, I’m not locked in forever.” “Maybe next year for Project for Awesome, I’ll auction them off.” “But didn’t we all?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 833: R “I don’t think they’re under the car, I think they’re driving the car.” “That’s how you start a car, Link, you yank the thang.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I have trialed my fusion alone, but never in tandem.” “I’ve never ridden a Unicorn before, that’s why I’m having so much difficulty.” “I’m the pit viper, I’m a bite you.” “I’m used to winning.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We got problems in Unicornville.” “Link, they don’t actually make the roads, it’s a video game.” “I’s just a barefoot baby on a 3-wheeler. That’s what memories are made of.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 834: L “I think we are the bow and arrow.” “I look like Aladdin but I’m gonna try to channel King Triton.” “I can’t go full lord.” “We look like two really cool break dancers.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m not going to enjoy any of this, Stevie.” “Hey, I’m a bird of paradise.” “Oh, I wasn’t asking for points by giving you points.” “A dolphin is a mammal, but it’s kinda half fish.” “I’m the lord of the fishes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Welcome to dog yoga, dogs!” “I’m the treat master.” “They put Ritz crackers in my bed with cheese, and they were like, ‘he’ll find those.’” “I’ve basically have been led around my entire life by Ritz crackers and cheese.” “Your wife does that?” “Yeah, man. My wife licks my teeth. I don’t even brush em!” “You don’t need to do anything anymore except watch YouTube videos.” “Everything you need is on YouTube.com.” “Sometimes I can’t tell what end of June is the head.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-3e2b-a341-1d21-93a3b89671e6">L “You gotta roll that thing over.” “June’s doing the ‘Snow-walk-off-nisna.’” “We’re making out on the internet.” “This is my dog not my wife.” “2016, the year of the butt-holes.” “Let’s just play with our dogs on our YouTube channel. No one’s ever done that before.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 835: R “No, I’m not going to blink.” “Well, it’s a little strange, but I’m also working on a macaroni sculpture of your wife.” “Nancy, you probably don’t need to show those off.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You freaked me out there at the end.” “I get a lot of luck on Tindeerrr.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both singing: “Cause I’m a person, not a dragon. Rest in peace, Bilbo Baggins.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You still Canadian?” “But did you hear about the guy who fell awake during ‘Force Awakens’?” “Yeah, the theater was too Darth.” “I think I just made my day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s a ‘Game of Thrones’ joke, Rhett. You wouldn’t get it.” “I’m so glad to be back. I mean, it’s like a well worn shoe.” “I cried tears of joy four different times.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4487-1013-7a15-dad2ca8b03f5">Jen: “Still can’t read.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 836: L “The world is your bacon oyster…” “That is a relevation, man. That’s not even a word!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Sign me up for chicken bacon!” “I’m getting all kinds of signals. They’re coming from all kinds of, all places around the earth.” “I feel like just trolled something with my mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “And welcome, there’s his face, Drew!” “He fit the profile. He had a beard, so he’s hired.” “I was a serial night-spender.” “Everything that we have said has been for entertainment purposes only.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I eat it off my lip all the time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4e06-65f7-5dd7-aceda016378e">Alex “Shout out to Grandma Punch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 837: L “Potato people care about potato things.” “Urinal cakes, I’ve never been tempted to bite one of those.” “Man, there’s people who are into anything.” “Who am I working with here?” “One magazine cannot contain the angst and enthusiasm of millennial women.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t ask for those at the bakery, kids.” “I turn urinal cakes into donuts.” (put that on a t-shirt) “Since 1977.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Once you get inside, it’s all bedlam.” “I’d rather dig a cat hole than get in one of these things.” “You become a peeleontologist.” “Don’t be that way.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-5776-26d9-fb05-15e477d60109">R “A lot of people don’t like a port-o-john, but I prefer one.” “If it’s clean, I feel like I’m in a time machine.” “If a bone comes lose, it’s yours. That’s our slogan.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 838: R “Don’t head-butt a woman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “OHH NOOO!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The unbreakable mug.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I love bread, though. Sometimes I think they should make a blanket out of bread and sell it cause it’s just soft.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 839: L “Because she’s not cooperating and that’s what they do.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I was about to get a little kiss of chocolate, and now I’ve gotten intimate with the chocolate unintentionally.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There’s nothing like the feeling of knowing that your balls are impervious.” “Don’t you guys want to sleep on my DNA? Line up, kids.” “Never worn a shirt out. That’s called shoplifting.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-6202-04aa-21d1-9691f3c26f5b">R “I worn a whole suit of clothes out.” “I don’t like pranks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 840: L “I don’t wanna know if she’s in there.” “Yeah, two shower heads, we get it.” “No, we don’t.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “New from Rhett & Link, Crust Toothpaste.” “You know, we have the budget for a second spit cup.” “I’ll never forget that, dad, and I’ll never do it cause I always check to make sure it’s toothpaste.” “We solved a problem that no one really had.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (reading) “Dear Rhett, Link, and crew, my name is Co-stans-zay. I’m 18 years, is that how you would say it?” Jen “I think it’s ‘Constance.’” “I feel like everyone around me is going crazy today.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This man’s name is Cliff Bliss. That’s like a made-up country singer’s name. That’s the best name I’ve ever heard, Cliff Bliss.” “I wish I could turn it into chewing gum.” “I’m just gonna have so much fun by myself.” “I wanna eat it.” (singing->) “It’s wood, wood, wood, wood, wood, wood.” “Sometimes lies are good if it keeps people from bad things.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 841: L “Well, technically, we know who cut the cheese. Chase cut the cheese as he always does…” “I’ve never wanted to taste a hooligan.” “And finally, we’re going to be tasting Rachel.” “Come back to me Rachel, I named a cheese after you. How pathetic is that?” “Christy would love doing this, but, she loves cheese like you do, but...” “Shut up.” “Wouldn’t be the first time. Gotta fill up that biscuit with something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I know about Christy’s love for cheese, that’s why i made that macaroni sculpture for her.” “Sometimes we get together and eat cheese.” “I appreciate the sheep and what they offer.” “Did y’all stuff a biscuit with caulk?” “I’m a cheese master!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Man, that looks like pound cake.” R “That’s what I just said.” ...L “We think too much alike.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’re not pathetic because that cheese is good.” “I’m on the grilled cheese board.” (both: ongoing silly message to Pete & Rachel)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 842: L “There are also professional butt slappers.” R “Well, can we see that?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Birds have white poop. I do know that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Hold on a second, whose placenta is this?” L “Uh, no, it’s mine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That’s the thing that I was really surprised about. There’s a bucket there and I was like, ‘is that for the baby to go in?’” “My eyebrows have always been very aggressive.” “Birth offage is great word. We should start a band. A heavy metal band called ‘Birth Offage.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 843: L “When you get so sad, you start to melt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “They gave you chlamydia?” L “What were you doing with the koala?” R “After Hours at the zoo.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I think this is whether or not you would swipe right or left on this because I don’t know that this koala would pee on me or eat poop. You don’t know that until the first date.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s what I do for you guys. I bloodshot my eyes for y’all!” “No, Rhett. We don’t eat donkey in our family.” “OH THANK GOODNESS YOU DIDN’T BURN THE KITTENS!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-812c-c675-b3fc-5a234edb1442">R “That was a great story cause everybody thought you blew up some cats, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 844: R “I’m ready to rock the tucked in shirt.” “Alright, we’re going to let Link sort out his issues on his own time and we’re going to move on with this episode.” “We might just leave Link in one.” “Be gentle with me, Eddie!” “That’s like a life philosophy. Hold on to those pinched inches cause somebody’ll take em away from ya.”“Oh, the more the crotch!” <span id="docs-internal-guid-eb4174f0-cc14-8b5c-245d-d8de769eafa0"><br/></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I can go shirtless if it happens. That will be your reward if I get out of this straitjacket, mom, I mean, uh, wife, I mean, what?” “Whenever I take off my shirt, my mom’s like ‘oh, you’re muscular, you’re doing good.’” “No, my mom watches the show, my wife doesn’t.” “Put a straitjacket over my mouth!” “Woop, woop! There’s a crotch strap!” “Oh, you look like you can be smacked around, slapped up, and if I get out of here first, that’s what’s gonna happen.” “All types of people, blondes, brunettes, get straitjacketed from time to time.” “Look, your arm is giving birth to a Rhett.” “You’re a straitjacket genius!” “That’s the easy part. Become a woman, then undo your buckle. I can do that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Eddie: “Rhett’s having fun with that middle strap.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I want to hear ya honk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t think I understand how buckles work. I’ve never been good with buckles.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 845: Bevin: “Like fine wine, canned whole chickens improve with age.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “There are shelves that have things on them that you can’t reach? This is a thing? This happens?” “That has literally never happened to me, cause I’m so tall.” “I’m so proud of you and your new pet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Send us the pony.” “It’s called a stable, you butthole.” “MC Butthole.” “I gave her my bank login.” "It's like an egg eye. Come to papa, my egg face." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8acd-e9fc-9ac8-948d621a27bd">R “It is the year of the butthole. We should be calling each other that more. I forgot. That would be a great show name for a pony. And now, Amanda, on Butthole.” “If this works perfectly on the first time, I am quitting everything and going into this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 846: L “Let’s call this a ‘dump-mellow’.” "I like a roasted tomato, I just don't like a raw tomato." “We’re calling these ‘pumplings’ cause they pump you up.” “Call this a ‘Leatherling’.” “Survival dumpling.” “It’s gone. I’m out. I’m flat out of sperm.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Dip this in chocolate sauce” R “Where? Did you bring some?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...I'm starting to think we should open a dumpling restaurant!" R "Dumplings R Us?” L "Take a dumpling." "Come take a dumpling." R “Take a dumpling on us!” "We give you a free dumpling every time." L "It is most likely that it will be a food court restaurant any type of restaurant we open." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I think we should call it ‘dumplizza’.” “It tastes like a really good, thoughtful ravioli.” "Have you had the Thoughtful Ravioli?" “This might be the peak of taste on ‘Will-It’." “I’ve chewed on my wallet before, just like, in a moment of thoughtlessness. It was just like this.” “What are we going to call these, ‘spermlings’?” “I’m going to go to my happy place. I’m going to go the part of the mall that doesn’t sell cod sperm. I’m going into Brookstone. I’m in a massage chair, and they turn it on, they said ‘sir, you’re gonna have to leave, it’s been 3 hours.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You guys are getting really good at stuff, you know that?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Good job, Kevin. You can continue to work here.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 847: R “When I think about ‘old,’ I think about my old chin-strap that I used to have and how much of a mistake that was. I’m glad I don’t have that anymore. Don’t look up those old pictures.” “Honey, you wanna go shopping for fashion sacks (sacs?)?” “Do not get your wife a dog-toothed covered purse for Valentine’s Day because that’s what I’m getting her, I mean, my wife.” “Boy, that brain is working, ain’t it?” “So, scientists, please, next time you want to find out how a clam is, just count the rings. Don’t kill it. GAH!” “Back in the olden times, they didn’t have Netflix to binge-watch their sorrows away, they had flutes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “And I can’t be the stupidest person here if I’m not the one using a fake microphone.” “Congratulations to everything that aged.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “16 years from today, I’ma find these 14 buttons.” “I wanted my special friends to do that, not you.” “I’ve never had a frog nut ball.” “With what I lack in knowledge of the age of things and in personal esteem this morning for failing this eating thing, I’m giving that to you guys. What I’m not taking for myself, in terms of, like, gusto for life today, I wanna give it to you, instead. Cause we both can’t have it all. And I want YOU to have it. I want YOU to have a great day. I want you to eat whatever you want to eat today.” "Locomotive breath. I've been called that." "Now, I love me flute, but it's gotta be Marshall Tucker Band." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “But you forgot the scratch and the sniff part.” “I have four fossils, thank you very much.” “I have my diploma from preschool.” “I have my first ever teddy bear that I got when I came home from the hospital…That’s old...Still squeaks.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 848: R “The official ‘Good Mythical Morning’ stance on the Mandela effect is that it doesn’t exist and that people just can’t get stuff right.” “The shame ends today.” “What is a mirror mirror, anyway?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The shame ends for all of us.” “And don’t wear human clothes, bears! It’s confusing! Messed up my childhood.” “Welcome to reality. We’re all here together now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The wife learned clogging.” “What she chose to do was clog as a child.” “‘Oh, ‘Peanut Butter Man.’ He just called me ‘Peanut Butter Man.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a308-2f28-af1a-c665b68c7c83">R “You remember it being called ‘Forrest Gump.’ It’s actually called ‘Forrest Dump.’ That was just my weekend.” “‘Peanut Butter Man’ is not going to get this wrong…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 849: R “If any of you go to Norma’s on a business trip, which probably won’t happen, and you expense this, you’re fired. That’s what happens when you expense the frittata.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “No, we’ll just dock their pay a zillion dollars and it will become an actual number.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Hello to the mythical beasts that were in Puerto Rico.” “Lot of mythical beasts in Puerto Rico, I didn’t know that was going to happen. I’m glad that it did, and took a lot of pictures…” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Global warming is like humans peeing in a pool on a global scale.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 850: L <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-cc28-2bbb-ba34-6e6f39bd1626">“I’m not only bad with names, but I’m bad with people.”</span> “If I win Alex, I’m going to get him to tuck me in for a nap and sing me lullaby.” “You look a lot different in person, Lionel, once you’re unwrapped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If I win Alex, I’m going to get him to give me a professional massage.” “...because we have a professional relationship...” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Little lap drum goes a long way.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">Jen: “Link’s hair is turnt up.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “All the pictures are of me but all the the stories are about Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 851: L “Bring the fries to the fry daddy. That’s me.” “It’s like eatin’ a potato garden hose.” “I’ll be fry daddy, you can be spud man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Sometimes, homework pays off kids. Do your homework. Cause you can be the Lord of the Fries one day.” “If you want me and Link to eat messy baked potato fries on camera wearing bathing suits, we will also do that.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b452-7db8-6339-bd2fdc644011">L “I only eat rarely without you, for lunch.” “That’s not fair, man. The rule is we never do homework for exams. Never study for exams on ‘Good Mythical Morning.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 852: R “Love gets weird.” “I don’t have a wife, I mean, I do have a wife, but why do I have a wife. I don’t deserve her with this performance.” L “I don’t know how you got her.” R “I danced a lot.” “Do they eat they dead things?” “It’s like being trapped in big bag of gummy bears, which is a dream of mine.” “One time I put on a ‘Big Bird’ outfit just for Halloween, and uh, beaks don’t kiss well.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’d love to suffocate you in one right about now.” “All of my love is towards my wife and children.” (looks at camera, winks)</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You know you’re gonna be a good surgeon when you can’t even pull the bloody sheet off of the guy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9ca-944d-fb6a-07262a810d5f">R “We’ve had our fun, now let’s draw on his face.” “I’ve got the heart, Charles. Dr. Neal, I’ve got the heart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 853: R “What better way to say ‘I love you’ than to have something permanently etched onto your skin?” “You know you get a good pair of headphones, and you’re like ‘man, these are the best thing ever happen to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Rule number one of looking at someone’s tattoo: Don’t respond with ‘what is that’, a fill in the blank with the first thing you think.” “It’s like a charm bracelet under your skin.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 854: R “True love waits two days and then it comes out of your butt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-cc28-835b-6752-4358e0cbb19c">GMMore: L “Every time you put on glasses period, you think you should talk like Jeff Goldblum.” “We share so many stories from our past, in this case distant past, cause I’ve been married a long and glorious time.” “Spoiler alert: I did not have a ring.” “Circumstances dictated that we be apart for the summer so we became pen pals.” “The marriage took.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 855: L “Mythical beasts, a question is like something we answer on Thursdays.” R “That’s it?” L “That’s it.” L “Only swirly is worthy?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Well, my kids, “no” stopped sounding like a word to them a long time ago. DAD JOKE!” “He’s about to summit ‘Mount Mail Boulder’!” “Oh, next time, we can do a mountain, a mythical mountain!” “Yeah, you chewing gum too hard if it hurts your shoulder.” “Jen, you know what, we love you just the way you are. Don’t ever change for anyone.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R (making fun of Jen) “In my past life, I have tried lemonade gum, but not this life. Not like this.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 856: L “We have a healthy relationship, I don’t need to communicate with her through this show.” “Let’s let that settle in and gaze upon the sweetness.” “Hey baby, I had big plans for us tonight, but actually, I’m just gonna be in the kitchen drinking milk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m always excited about my wife.” “My mouth has gotten hotter but she stayed just as hot as she already was.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d6ad-24c8-b332-a1137b73aee5">GMMore: L “Stop calling me, beeper!” “Who care? We don’t care.” “Hey baby, let’s go out on a smoothie date. She gonna start rolling her eyes every time I drink a smoothie. She’s like, ‘Really? You’re drinking another smoothie.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 857: R “That’s why I show up to all my world star hip hop fights naked. Look me up! I’m called ‘Big Red’ on world star hip hop.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Let’s just make a vow, right now though. We will never duel each other to the death unless one of us wins a watch from the other in a poker game and promises not to wear it in public and then does.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 858: R “I’m always looking for immediate proximity, or at least illustrations of it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca58-8d51-219c-820d3a29b05c"><span>L “This is basically like sleeping inside of an iMac that’s gonna go obsolete in six months.” R “Yeah, well it looks like something they come up with at Apple, like, in Steve Jobs's absence. They don’t have him there to tell him when the bad idea happens.” L “Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t poo-poo it yet, Rhett, because the features include a surround sound system, fully adjustable mattress and INTEGRATED READING LIGHTS!” R “Are you Oprah now?” L “Yeah! That was a good Oprah!” R “You’re gonna give everybody a re-, everybody gets a free reading light!” L “FREE READING LIGHT!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I'm about to unload this bed on you." "My skin is brown if I get tan." “Make a song out of this, somebody. Remix: Hypercolor pajamas on a burger bed, when I wake up in the morning, then I look like I’m cook-ed.” “This is the ‘Good Mythical More’ that I go to my falsed voice a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Burger Nights should be a restaurant that’s only open at night.” “You don’t want to commit too hard to anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 859: L “A comma is not a letter.” R “It’s its own thing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “It’s all fun and games until somebody chokes on their pizza.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I feel like a grandma in this episode because, I’m serious, I have never used an emojicon, emoticon, emoji in a text.” “It’s for the legal records whenever we need to sue each other.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link and I will email one another. The kinds of things that we should text about.” “I like writing ‘Dear Link.’ ‘Best, Rhett.’ Sometimes, I do ‘Always, Rhett.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 860: L “I’m pregnant with popcorn.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “They didn’t have algebra in 1909. What are you, crazy? Algebra’s invented in the ‘50s!” “My philosophy is once you start something like this, you can’t end without getting it right, because in life, things need to end on good notes. That’s a philosophy of mine. So once you start trying something, you have to do it until you do it. You cannot engrain in yourself that you couldn’t do something and give up on it. Don’t engrain losing into your brain, guys. You’re like a duckling, and you need to imprint winning into your brain.” “You heard about Mother Goose? She ain’t got nothin’ on me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 861: L “Whenever I want to manipulate bacon, I used a cuticle cutter.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Have you have the pet toothbrush eggs?” “Hey! I found a coffee teet! This is like the greatest moment of the Lewis and Clark adventure. Just when we got to the base of the Rockies, we found a coffee teet, and me and Lewis drank from it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “So, this is Barbara, we adopted her… she’s a Maltese mutt...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fa47-eadf-8864-718df3fd35cf">L “So you have to choose between your wife and your dog.” R “Yeah, it’s a weird family situation.” L “That’s sad.” “Congratulations, welcome to the dog squad.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 862: L “Now we all know that celebrities name their babies weird names, that’s why, as an aspiring celebrity, I named my kid ‘Lando’...” “Lettuce by any other language is still lettuce.” “It’s ‘Nina’ with a ‘j’. Embrace it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “As someone who wanted to name their kid ‘Ninja’ at one point, as you did…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “‘Fake Plant Dusters,’ that’s a good band name.” “Link, you’re the baby name genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘Audio Science’ is the greatest name I hope exists.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 863: L “As a kid, I was deathly afraid of lightning, but I also wanted to be a weatherman.” “Ladies and gentleman, the headline reads lightning has proclivity for the anus.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R (singing->) “You’ve been thunderstruck.” “So in a lot of ways this lightning chose her anus.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “When in doubt, huddle about.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 864: L “Like if you pushed it, pushed your hand, like you wanted to resuscitate the real Earth by smooshing it from the North Pole down, it’s like ‘whoops, I killed it.’ It’s a pancake.” “Who knew that the flat Earth theory could create a rap battle?!” “I think he also say ‘we got to close the Star-gat-e.’ Gonna do it, I’m gonna do it. I look like Dana Carvey, I’m gonna do it.” “Next time you go number one, grrraaab a thermos.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I love 2016!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...I’m not the kind of person who has a disposition that wants to believe conspiracy theories.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 865: R “He’s quite a wing fiddler.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I forgot my wallet this morning! And I went back in the house twice…!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I’m the horse that calls you ‘boss.’” “I’m a stubborn mule.” “Being a horse is difficult.” “We could quit if we got a Corvette.” “I could watch a whole documentary about piano tuning.” “I see myself as a smiley face and a long leg.” “You know if you milk yourself, you get abs.” “Everyone knows unicows make black milk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’re a mule man.” “That’s a t-shirt. The sun is always shining on a unicow that’s milking itself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-1913-1322-2cff-448a0dd56231">Jen “The mail is weird. It brings out a strange side of all of us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 866: R “Fondue is one the greatest things that humans have ever come up with, dipping things in liquid cheese. This has got to make everything amazing.” L “Vaccines?” R “Better than vaccines! You heard it here!” L “The internet?” R “Tied.” L “Your mom?” R “My mom is better.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Hold on! That was going to be my heaven!" L “I’m sorry that I busted your heaven.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is not the cheesecake that I think most people would expect if they were to order it."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>L “You know what eye smells like?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-1ec0-b83f-1a8a-642f71d5ab2c">GMMore: L “Feel the stress leaving your face, your neck, shoulders, bosom. I haven’t said that word ever.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 867: L “There are an estimated eight and half million species, different ones. I know because I counted.” “I have no expertise and neither do you so chill out on the specific drug references.” “My father-in-law likes to mispronounce words to be funny, but we just think he didn’t have good vocabulary.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Can’t Barbara just come in and just strut her stuff and it has nothing to do with what dog is better. It’s just, if she can do lots of tricks, and your dog can’t do any, it doesn’t say anything about your dog, it just means that Barbara’s amazing.” “We’re basically turning our house into a county fair run by dogs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My dog is nothing but a love sponge.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 868: L “Don’t cross the Walmart.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Passive aggressive notes can change the world.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 869: R “I thought Link was my sidekick.” “Hey, it happens and you’re like, ‘oh, it was gonna be such a good thing but we’re gonna have weird babies if we keep this up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I thought Rhett was my sidekick.” “But it seems like I know something about the comic.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Kevin Smith: “Yeah, you know something about reality.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R: “What’s the ‘SB’ stand for?” Chase: “Sidekick Boy!” R “Okay, ‘Sidekick Boy, fetch me some coffee.” Chase: “Yes, sir!” R: “He’s so compliant. I love it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: K: “And I said, ‘what is it,’ and they said ‘they just do a ten minute talk show every day.’ And I was like, ‘what? like who’d they ask?’ and they said, ‘nobody, they just did it.’...” “You ain’t directed a movie until you’ve been dressed like a sausage...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-3aff-d1ae-f1ae-b1a1ee81469b">L “Well, we asked Rhett’s wife is we could use the converted car garage behind his house.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 870: L “I love Twenty-Two Pilots, they’re great! I think they got an extra pilot somewhere.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “The ironic thing is when you’re leading a clap-along and you’re playing the guitar, you cannot clap. It’s always been a frustration of mine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Do roosters hang out?” “One’s a wingman, ha ha ha ha ha!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 871: L “Giant chickens are better than chickens.” “Do birds have a kingdom?” “That’s a town. That’s a suburb of the bird kingdom.” “I’d show up for that.” “I like the idea of a big nest for a bed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We don’t have to dink our eggs. I’m afraid we might accidentally create another bird.” “Yeah, Birdville.” “I did stuff as a child.” “If ladies laid eggs, the pregnancy would be a very different time. You’d go into the bedroom and your wife would just be, like, sitting on the egg, and be, like, "baby, you wanna come watch House of Cards?” “Why can’t you just bring the laptop over here, I gotta sit on Junior!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4493-4a1c-86cd-a81c76767b0e">GMMore: L “Well, I’ve never made an omelette before.” “It’s my first exotic scramble.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 872: L “Well, cats shed when they pee on themselves.” (singing->) “Midol will help you get your zzz’s.” (about Rhett->) “He does have a lot of dolls, like, he makes his bed and then he places all the dolls on the bed, he’s like, ‘don’t touch my dolls!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Back in the day, to be a doctor, all you had to have was a lot of confidence and a little bottle of tincture.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I became the person I am because my dad jump-scared me so much so I’m gonna do it to my kids. I think it teaches them you can never be sure, you can never feel safe.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 873: R “If you didn’t notice, I’m a pretty big man myself. Haven’t been to a psychic, but I like to think that I’m also here to help save you, Link, and the crew.” L “You gotta have a big frame to save the human race?” R “I can pack 300 pounds on here real easy, REAL easy. You wouldn’t believe it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...You produced the track for our most popular video of all, ‘Nerd vs Geek’...and ‘Christmas Face.’” “We found the iguana!” “Would you like to stroke the iguana with your fingernail?” “Ointmelt.” “Music… It’s like scientific geeking out.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Andrew Huang “ “Garbange.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Yeah, Chuck Testa gave us that. We put it in a briefcase, Chuck. Just found it.” “Looks like I got a turkey hugging me from the back.” “Helment.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 874: R “My ears get red sometimes when people are talking about me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s how glitter’s made. You slap your face.” “When Rhett hears the word ‘hour’, he sees the back end of a peacock. Hours of peacock butt!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “...when I hear sounds, I picture three-dimensional shapes. It is very, very subconscious and if I start trying to really think about, it doesn’t even make sense in my own brain, but it’s very, very consistent and very prominent and it was much more prominent as a child. ” “This is what ‘nine’ feels like in my mind...like a smushed hamburger top.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 875: L “Denim underwear, peeps! Ripping is not an issue.” “Our personal pride is on the line.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We still have some of that?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 876: R “It’s so sour, it made my nosebleed?” I’m a curious cat, Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-6817-8282-9bcb-9ee113ef8429">L “I can create a flesh moustache on my own face.” “Cut diamonds with my flesh moustache?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 877: R “I’m always ready to put a fart out there."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca7a-c66a-3ff4-2d324815dac1"><span>GMM 878: L “That is a bunch of duck.” “Dang, they get around, man. I didn’t know they were migratory birds.” (singing) “Ocean pollution is awesome!” “Swordfish got big eyes. Swordfish got real big eyes. Swordfish eyes, big.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 879: L “Shield your eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 880: L “Don’t let the sun set on an unresponded text.” “You throw ‘em up & it’s particle time!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I love the English language and how it can be manipulated.” “Don’t punch Jen’s delts.” “I’m always turning over rocks while hiking.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Zach West was the old me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 881: R "What's good here, bartender?" Chase "I recommend number two." (poem->)"'Here we are at the oxygen bar. We're gonna go home together in a car. If we die before we wake, at least this oxygen we got to taste." "...because watermelon backwards is honeysuckle." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I feel like I could bust through a wall. Not a physical wall, more like an emotional wall.""When I woke up this morning, I could only breathe out of one nose." "...when you serene really hard, you start chilin'."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 882: L “A cocktail of detergent in the underwear. That way whenever you soil yourself, it cleans.” “You know what I just invented? Detergent underwear! So eat that! Well, they’re not edible, but buy that!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Look! It’s a flying squirrel! No, it’s Panty Boy!” “It was a night dress for a boy… What was I saying?” “It had nothing to do with GreenPeace, it had everything to do with the principle of being pressured into making a decision at my own front door. I’m not comfortable with that. Any type of decision.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I look like a walking ring pop!” “And I don’t like making decisions in my living room.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span> </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfaf-b7b2-0e35-2626ce1a4a35"><span>GMM 883: R “...I think it’s time for us to make a confession.” L “Yeah, um, we’ll just tell you. Listen, the voices that you have come to know and love are not our own.” (camera pans to Chase and Mike) Chase “Hey, we’re the real Rhett and Link. I’m Chase and I’m the voice of Rhett.” Mike “And I’m Mike and I’m the voice of Link. Now you finally know the truth.” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 884: R “I don’t understand you sometimes.” "I have asymmetrical eyes. Just look at my Instagram. You'll figure it out." “I wanna be ‘The Glow Boys.’” “Welcome to ‘The Metal Face Club.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I look so smooth. It’s like you could ski off my face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 885: Eddie “Gurl, this gossip is garbage!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb0-308d-ed4a-5280169c9635"><span>L “Just yourself be if weird is you.” R “You make change to you friends shouldn’t.” L “Think about worry what people other don’t.” R “Friend you accept for you who a true are.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-aa1c-052c-a713-40591eefe4d5">GMMore: R “You know, I’ve actually looked into this a little bit because there still is a McLaughlin castle that I’m planning on taking over at some point, in Scotland. I’m not joking. There’s a dude who watches over it and I’m thinking about ousting him, maybe in my ‘50s because I figure by then I’ll b<span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-aa1c-c32b-9725-b3445c6832d4">e bored. I’m gonna go over there and I’m gonna be like ‘I’m here, buddy. It’s time. Your stay is over.’”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 886: L “You know, Eddie makes beef jerky. He’s got a side business.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’re telling me that there’s a possibility that one of y’all walking down Hollywood Blvd sees a band aid, picks it up, like, ‘we can use this on the show!’” “That eye almost came out. That’s as close as I’ve ever gotten to an eye just coming out and hanging.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 887: L “I would weep in my tapas.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I think the only way that that can be topped is if we one day meet in Barcelona and enjoy some tapas together and you sing that to her. If I saw you sing that to her, I could die at that point.” “I’ve got, like, ten moments in my life that I consider ‘the peaks’ and a couple of years have gone by...before one of those moved into the top ten and pushed something out. I think that just moved into number ten and my second child being born moved out of the top ten.” “Sorry, Shepherd, you’re at number eleven.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 888: Hank: “I know about feeling and I know, I’ve met the earth. We’ve met, we have a relationship. I’ve touched the earth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Yeah, I touch lots of birds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Hank: “How do pants see, Becky?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I mean, I wore women’s jeans for- there was a stint before the mens jeans got tight enough to my liking.” “When you’re hot, how could you be horrible?” “So glad I don’t know a hot and horrible Chase.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “He did. He wore women’s jeans for at least three years. Go back to the videos and you’ll notice.” “I don’t like to do work, though, in general, but I, like, point people to internet videos.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 889: L “It goes without saying: You can add any cereal you want to a pancake. Live your life to the fullest, people.” “Note to self: Bone stuff is good for you.” “So, will it guinea pig balls?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9dd-0f08-bba3-22e209cb2cd5"><span>“Don’t put mouthwash on your food.” </span></span>“Bone stuff is really good for you. I read in a journal, not like my own journal or somebody’s I stole.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R & L chanting: “There is no trash can.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’ where people eat things because there’s still stuff around after we already ate things and you’re around and you’re special.” “Yeah, welcome to my world. I would never choose to eat anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-caaa-0220-2c70-006ac5d8ce5d">R “ ...like whatever they make chocolate mint ice cream out of, actually putting the chocolate and the mint into the pancakes. Somebody invent that. IHOP, you’ve been challenged, and make them green. I’ll come again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 890: L “I gotta go on the rec here and say that my least favorite part of camping is having to pee in the middle of the night.” R “And it always happens.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb0-67b8-b3cb-3b23c5ae5042"><span>L “I even say to myself, I’m not gonna drink, like, two hours before I get in that tent and I still wake up in the middle of the night and then it’s cold, and you’re like, getting out of your warmness and then you gotta put your shoes on and you gotta step over kids or whoever happens to be in your tent. You don’t even know ‘cause it’s dark!” “Man or woman, don’t use a bottle because there’s too much risk involved. I mean, there’s the aim issue, there’s the capacity issue. Which is gonna give out first? My supply or the capacity of the bottle? And then, the biggest risk of all, you might accidently drink it later!” “Never bend over and tie your tennis shoe at the back end of a pony.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Tastes like a bad summer. That’s what salt water taffy tastes like, like, ‘I had a horrible summer.’” “Last time I mitched, it was pink and brown.” “If your mitch is pink and brown, see a medical professional immediately.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m tired of the counting and yelling.” “Please let mitch be a verb.” “That’s what I called your beard: ‘Mitch.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 891: R “Let’s talk about that.” “You know what time it is.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Good Mythical Morning!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d3b2-c38f-99d8-6075e10ae688">GMMore: *complete silence for April Fools gag</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 892: R “‘...or D. That you should change your sheets because you probably peed in real life.’ That could happen. Happened to me one time as an adult. Shouldn’t have admitted that.” “Link, you’re a dream genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I am the think master and the dream master.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You do you, ball.” “If you wanna get your ball where you want your ball to be, you gotta be positive.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 893: R “If you wanna win a game show, study the patterns, drive an ice cream truck, and put your pin number in wherever possible.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I’m not french kissing you on camera, Barbara. We talked about that!” (reading his phone->) “Imagination is the act of exploring parallel universes, unless parallel universes can violate the laws of physics. In that case, imagination is not.” “...and I felt horrible for all the me’s that were being murdered.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You shouldn’t be allowed to be alone in the desert anymore ‘cause I’m afraid for you.” “I’m so happy that I’m this me, too.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 894: R “I’m like a pancake, man. I can’t get done on one side. You gotta flip me over.” “It dudn’t get any better than tickle fingers.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-f280-96d7-c05a-8ac7cad2f15e">L “ Don’t ever let me walk into our office and see you doing this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 895: R “One does not simply get over spiders.” “That’s the only rule of ranch emersion is you let me emerse myself!” "I went too far!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I can't hear anything. I got ranch in my ears! I cannot hear anything!" </p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 896: R “There’s knowledge in chewing.” “Babies have no taste.” “Cats got worse taste than babies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is how I’m gonna go out, guys. Choking on a non-organic tortilla chip.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Can we have a little talk with you? Um, this has got to stop. This, us eating and drinking gross stuff, has got to stop, I mean.” “I kinda thought we’d start liking it, you know? I thought we’d turn over a new leaf and it would be like, look, we’re new people. We like nasty stuff. We’re ‘Nasty-tasters.’ Hasn’t happened yet.” “A cookie solves a world of problems. It covers a world of pain.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-00de-711c-69e8-580bf86e8fdf">R “Well, eventually, we’ll run out of things, you know. Can’t keep making weird stuff, can they? We just can’t keep finding it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 897: L “Okay, Rhett, how many kids do you have?” R “Hm, two.” L “Check! And what current reading level are you at?” R “At least, sixth grade.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Why are we supposed to hate unicorns? What good does that add to the world?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 898: L “Kids, just say no to the hidey-hole.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I always say, ‘Why use a bank when you’ve got orange fishing twine!’” “Who hasn’t been in their dad’s attic looking for his badminton racket?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We should be each other’s first punch.” “I was just interactin’ with it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-0cea-48a0-7c7f-5403e06ca897">L “What kind of jerk can’t walk up a slide?” “I feel very safe under beds and lights.” “Whatchu been doin’ with them generators, boy?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 899: R “And if we are anything, it is new and wacky!” “Light Beard and Hell Boy are in charge again.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m a toilet genius.” “Glow in the dark gods of the apocalypse with their glow in the dark chicken.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Well, you gotta have scissors ready, for anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-12e8-fed5-ee9d-0275460e4b9f">L “Scrubbing is for losers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 900: L “...we frequently solve our conflicts with toast fights...” “Like, when my eyebrows crinkle that much, you know I’m afraid of something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You made a good choice with the hair.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Who’s more of a clean freak than me? I appreciate that.” “We hired them just so we can eat the fries faster.” “MSG!” “You are the reason we do what we do, 900 times.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We also have a couple of new crew members to introduce you to: Matthew and Daniella!” “By the year 2050 though, all meat will be black market meat, if it’s not synthetically grown meat....” “In ten years, you’ll be eating lab-grown meat and you won’t know the difference.” “...but trust me, thirty years from now, you’re gonna be in your self-driving car, eating a pill, with a little black market meat on the side, and you’ll be like, ‘you know what? When he was eating those french fries, he was right.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-178c-32cf-accd-b75db247986f">R “We could do 9,000 fries.” L “We’re gonna do 9,000 episodes of this show just so we can do that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 901: L “No nugget is a bad nugget.” “I feel like at this point, I have to say, there is nothing that’s been added to these nuggets, we’re just idiots.” “Don’t scrape the nugget. Never scrape a nugget.” “Geogranuggets.” “Never turn down a nugget.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “State Nuggies.” “Okay, enter the nugget. That would be a good movie!” “I’m the nugget king!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Stevie: “I just like how entertained Rhett is by, like, sauces.” R “I love sauces!” “I wanna be the guy who thinks of the sauces.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R & crew: “Chug it, Serpent King.” “It’s a weird party.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-1c38-90cf-6e8f-d60ea1dbdfaa">L “Yeah! I’m at the party, showing off. Everybody thinks I’m awesome! I’m at the party. I’m showing off. Everybody thinks I’m awesome!” “I’m ruint on nuggets for, like, a year.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 902: R “Ah, the majestic squirrel. The pigeon of the trees.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...I have a pale white mole, like, on the top of my head. Like, if you shaved my head, you’ll be like, ‘Gah, what’s that, like, albino ladybug nesting up there for?’ And I’d be like, ‘no, it’s a growth of some sort. I think it’s benign.’” “But you learn so much more when I don’t tell a lie. Like, you know me so much better.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I know the mole’s real because I’ve seen it. Yeah, I mean, you used to have a shaved head and I shaved it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 903: L “I never eat cold brain, except on a pizza.” “I grew up in a redneck wonderland!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I bet nobody’s bidding. I’m trying to make you feel good about your weird toe carrot.” “They call me the constipated soldier.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Constantly pated. That’s me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 904: R “‘Oofty Goofty limped around…’ That’s the beginning of a poem that I can’t finish.” L “That’s actually the end of the poem.” R “Yeah, that’s just it. That’s just a historical fact. Oofty Goofty limped around.” L “But, I will never eat anything on this show in the future without saying ‘Oofty Goofty, Oofty Goofty, Oofty Goofty.’” I’ma start doing that. Everyone should do that!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Every time I went to Link’s house as a child, he had pudding.” L “There’s not a lot of pudding in my life.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “My notes to self are like those, like, the generic post-its that you get that don’t really stick.” L “Off-brand note to self.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 905: R “How much butt heat do ya need?” L “Three hours ‘ll do!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve always got Flamin’ Hot Cheetos and a funnel. They always look at me funny at TSA. ‘Sir, what are ya gonna do with that funnel?’ ‘Well, come with me and you’ll find out.’ I mean, on the plane.” "Buddies can share smoothies. Who says you can't?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Booty bar!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Pop it and the stocks go rising!” “Link, you’ve been vindicated for the first time ever!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My aunt Viki referred to dookie-ing as hockey.” “She said, ‘do you need to hockey?’ And I thought it was a bad word, too.” “What? I’ve been vindicated a lot. This is my show. Our show, but I mean it’s half of my show, I should get vindicated half the time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 906: L “Get it down, sailor man.” “Dingle the dangle.” “Just send it down the elevator. Send it down the swallow chute.” “Poor little bacon. Daddy got to eat bacon. I don’t know why I called myself ‘daddy.’” “I’m proud of you, man. Stoneface McLaughlin. Retching it up like a walrus.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is my Kryptonite. This is literally the only thing that I cannot eat.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Eddie: “They’ve been boiled for safety.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More.’ We’re standing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-3fcb-a62e-8a06-bbdd8e32b84e">R “Yeah, this is the new thing. Standing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 907: R “Death by groin attack.” L “It happens.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb1-27e0-f335-93a6ee212a89"><span>R “I’m gonna die next year?” L “Yep!” R “if that actually happens, this is gonna be one crazy episode!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 908: R “Twins can be a little bit weird, can’t they? Yes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Right, down, right left square.” “Right, left. Down down square. Is that how they do it in the games? Is that how gamers do it? They do a little tunes to themselves?” “Congratulations, Link. You got turned into lava!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I feel like I won. I became a human volcano. If that’s not a winner, I don’t know what is.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 909: L “You’re a human. Don’t be stupid.” “Business with the hands. Pleasure with the spoon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’ because there’s more to your life than watching this.” “You got gerbil cheeks and troll nose.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 910: L “How do you spill coffee on the back of a t-shirt? Sadly, I’ve done it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I wanna be a brave boy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s how this show operates. ‘If you do it, I’ll do it too.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What? Am I the only one that wears underwear more than two days in a row?” Stevie: “You wear underwear four days in a row?” L “By accident, sometimes. Did I say that? Two days, definitely. Three days, maybe. Four days, it happens!” “I swim against the stream and I’m proud of that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’ve got, like, a whole novel inside every article of clothing and I didn’t know about it until ‘MythicalCity’ asked this question.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 911: R “Sad and fancy.” L “Sancy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’ve always wanted to know what it’d feel like to be pregnant with an alien.” (singing->) “I come from a soup down under!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Next time you hose down the Cinnabon, call me." R <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9df-2a84-a981-f3194bc3ae9e"><span>“I’ve never wanted to be pregnant so bad in my life!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “...Where the sidewalk ends.” L “And my mouth begins?” R “Where the sidewalk ends and my mouth begins.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “But vegemite is so bad. Why do y’all like it?” L “It’s so weird.” R “Something’s wrong with y’all! Your toilets go the wrong way and your brains are backwards. L “But we love ya, Australia.” R “We do, we love you. Thanks for watching, Australians.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...I have never laughed so hard with anus in my mouth as I did in that episode. I’ve never laughed that hard on this show!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-7e5d-666e-1618-82f04454c8f4">R “ You learn something new every day that might be false.” “Knowledge if flexible. Truth is relative.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 912: L “Keep your cloaca, birds!” “When in doubt, guess testicles on this show.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...if you got somebody out there you’re crushing on, you should be like, ‘hey, baby. You look like your face has been covered in gladiator sweat and blood.’” L “Yes, I’m writing that down.” R “See how they respond to that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “We almost called this show, ‘Mega Cool.’ ‘Mega Cool Morning.’ But then we decided against it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You feel mega cool?” L “I feel pretty mega.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 913: L “You’re getting a little too acquainted with it.” R “Oo, that feels like a face.” L “It’s gonna want to go home with you if you keep this up.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “My feelers are ready!” “You wanna make friends with this thing, not enemies.” “You were rubbin’ up on a lobster! Dang! It was responding to your touch!’</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Pet it like you’ve never pet before, Link!” L “My rectum is so tight.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb1-73a8-d13e-83bb7fbb4ffc"><span>R “Pet it like you love it, Link! Pet it like you love it!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-7e5d-b94b-5a0f-7a1679b38d13">GMM 914: L “There is a biter in every class.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 915: R “Don’t let anybody touch that carrot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 916: R “I’m a paleontologist who explores my own mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 917: R “It kinda feels like you had chicken on the brain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If my dentist wore that mask, I’d be just as afraid of him as I already am!” “He’s bull on the top, spandex man on the bottom. I don’t know where he hides the talent.” “Chase’s grandma was a professional wrestler!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Weighing in at 350 pounds spread evenly across his seven foot six inch frame, it’s the one, the only, Tree Man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 918: L “You know something’s a hoax when LAPD tweets, hashtag hoax.” (#hoax)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I click a lot, man. I’m a clicker. I am a clicker.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hey, man.” R “Hey.” L “So, remember that little people argument about the lion?” R “I’m dead.” L “This is how you wanna settle it? Really?” R “I’m dead.” L “Come on, man. We’re not in middle school anymore.” R “I know. I’m dead.” L “Stop. Okay, fine. I’m dead.” R “Oh!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Should’ve warned me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 919: R “There is a full donut in her hair. That makes me hungry!” L “I’m starving.” R “There’s donut with a cinnamon roll on top of it!” L “Excuse me, girl. Can I taste your hair? The donut part?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Churro warmer. That’s what they call me at DisneyLand!” (singing->) “Yeah! I’m ready for you to do what it takes to pull out my teeth and make a canal for a boat ‘cause I don’t even know what a route canal is! I’m happy about it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Don’t I look reliable? Don’t I look like I know information?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hi. I like myself.” “Hold me later if you’re stupid!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 920: L “It’s like if a tornado came through a gas station and your mouth was open, you know, you’d be happy!” “Get the party started, Rhettster!” “This is how kings eat at gas stations.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re gonna wanna do this inside the gas station. They’re gonna look at you funny!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb1-b479-66a9-f8023d96ee0a"><span>R “...and a chicken pot pie is only as good as its walls.” L “That can be on the box if we ever sell this.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 921: R “Barbeque is not a verb. It is not something you do. It is not cooking out. Barbeque Is a noun. It is meat prepared in a very special way.” “I hate it when I don’t know what to think.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I do not order barbeque on a website. That seems weird. I go up to the pig and I pull it.” “My brain is confused, but my mouth is so happy. If I could just take barbeque intravenously, I’d be a constantly happy person.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Like, if you want to be invited to every party in your county, just have a pig cooker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-b740-12bd-4c70-a9d554c9bd06">R “I am making it my mission right now, the most important thing in my life at this moment right now is to become a better barbecue taster.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 922: L “You don’t want Connor to have your number.” “This game has got my goat!” “eBay hates me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Reindeer pee. It’s just cinnamon flavored which that is what it takes like if you drink it from the source.” R “Yeah, talk about a cinnamon stick.” L “You just turned 83. That joke made you 83 years old. I hope it was worth it.” R “I can’t wait to be 83, man. I’m gonna sit on a porch and just make those kinds of jokes constantly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Canine anal gland.” L “Expression.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 923: L "Last time I was sleeping, what did you try to do? Grab at the feets." R "Do ya need 'em? Do you really need 'em?" L "I need the feets." R "Why do you need 'em?" L "'Cause I walks on the feets." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Both: “Where my feet?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 924: L “Mr. Cocky has earned the right to take away the choices.” “You know you’re rolling in dough when you got- well, it dudn’t take dough to make yogurt.” “I’m like an old woman who doesn’t know how to pronounce any celebrities’ names right. ‘I love that Burnt Reynolds. I picked up a VHS set from Walmark of him.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s my Oprah. I get worked up when I have a good joke.” R “Yeah, you get Oprah-ish a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Melon-Connie. That was my mom’s nickname.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There’s no sickness here.” “Feel like a winner!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 925: R “Well, I always garden in pantyhose. I like a smooth tan look. When I wear a skirt, I want people to be, “Dagummit. Her legs are so tan.’” “You look like you’ve just given birth to, like, twelve alien babies that can only be grown in crocs.” “We have the perfect items for the garden that is your face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Bust that bean.” R “I can’t bust the bean and that’s what worries me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Are you wearing a new fragrance? Is that you? Oh! Oh, you fanned it. It’s like a bubble gum.” L “That’s my deodorant, man.” R “You got bubble gum deodorant on?” L “Maybe.” R “Where’d ya get that?” L “Well, my armpits.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Y’all like to give me mushy.” (singing->) “Delicate toes.” “My feet have been nourished.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Feet ain’t for feeling.” L “They’re for gardening.” R “Feet are for gardening.” L “Feet are for gardening, uh, fingers are for feeling.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’: It gets you breathing. That’s our new slogan here.” “I am a kindred spirit with any trumpet player.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You learn a lot when to come to my shop.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 926: L “Sample our beans? Sample our beans? Would you like to sample our beans?” “We could beans those guys.” “I’m the beanius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Beans, beans, good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you-” R “Love ‘em and want more of ‘em.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Fart. The more you fart, the better you-” R ”Feel.” L “So eat-” R “beans” L “at-” R “every meal.” L “meal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t think birds make beans. If they do, we should invest.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-cea7-b54b-6869-6929dd5e00bc">R “I’m a man who’s never met a bean he didn’t like.” L “I’m a man who just started liking beans.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 927: L “Fun fact: Grady Grange’s mating season is that one time in 1986. I love ya, Grady. You’re enthused by big feet!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’ll never see a Bigfoot face-wince.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We’re just one reach away from a ‘Wet One’ at all times.” “‘Cause once you post a Bigfoot sighting, you need not post anything else.” “Never film your friend in a Bigfoot costume closer than thirty-one feet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 928: R “Your backyard is your kingdom and you are the king or queen of your backyard.” (singing->) “It’s my backyard and I’ll build what I want to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: (playing Minecraft) R “I have a killer instinct. I didn’t know I was like this.” “Houston, we have a problem. I’m stuck in Travis’s hole.” L “I’m like Travis’s brother. I’m just watching you, laughing, but I’m not gonna help you.” R “How do I get out of this?” L “Dig out, dumb nut!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 929: R “I got full brow!” L “I got a full eye! Alright, you won, but I got a better selfie!” R “Good for you!” L “And that’s what matters most!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t expose the baby. Free the baby!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Centauri. I would name a kid Centauri if I was plum out of those, if I wasn’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfb2-3949-e485-afb1e966fa12"><span>L “This game is my nemesis, man.” R “Well, it’s not your cup of tea.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “This game is my nemesis, man.” R “Well, it’s not your cup of tea.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 930: L “If you wanna see your future, just look at your butt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’re a palm buffer!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I do feel like you’re a yearner.” R “I am. I’m a yearner. I’m always yearning and I always have, even in the past. I yearned for my present and my future.” L “You yearninate a lot.” R “Yeah, yeah. I’m a yearninator.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My ideas are my seed corn. I can do this.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 931: L “Back up the truck ‘cause I’m hopping in.” R “I’m getting in the same truck and I don’t even know where we’re going. It could be a garbage truck. I don’t care.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9e2-e219-2458-0d7df295e6cb"><span>R “Tastes like I just went into a part of a pet store, and just, like, opened my mouth and dove.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “But the cookieness is saving me.” “Send it to the basement, slam the door.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 932: R “‘Cool Runnings’ was an incredible movie! It defined a generation of Jamaican bobsledders.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “They also translated ‘white men can’t jump’ as ‘corn can’t dunk.’” L “That really rolls off the tongue.” R “‘Corn can’t dunk,’ that’s my favorite.” L “No, it can’t. Ask any farmer.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Views don’t lie. Hips don’t either.” R “Yep. We should get Shakira to do our theme song.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-28bd-f378-7dc1-5e6003c0a1e6"><br/> GMM 933: Drew: “But don’t you just wanna punch me in the face?” R “Yep.” L “I think you’re a great person and your neck looks really warm.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 934: L “Booker and the Birdbath. That would be a good tv show in the 80s.” R “Probably not. Maybe a good scene.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Pigs are smart, man! I’ve always known this.” L “You know what, points for you, Rhett! You’ve always known that pigs are smart.” “Extra love and a little bone. Sometimes, that’s all it takes.” “It’s his birthday. Let him do what he wants to.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Jade and Barbara, I hope you’re watching and I hope you’re taking notes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfc0-0822-8106-d3190ac4616e"><span>GMMore: L “Miniature horses are for winners.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 935: L “It tastes soft and better.” R “Soft and better! You know what we can do?” “Let’s start bottling LA river water through these things and call it, ‘Soft and Better.’ We can be the mascots. You be Soft, I’ll be Better.” “Link’s soft, I’m better.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We’re gonna have to get a third person who’s gotta be Fruity.” Both “Soft, Better, and Fruity.” Alex “Mike said he would be Fruity.” Mike “I’ll be Fruity.” L “You can be Juicy, you can be Fruity.” R “What a team.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfd5-1b8b-a760-93ddab433798"><span>R “It tastes like what pee smells like.” “Coffee’ll fix everything, Link. You’re gonna be okay.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 936: L “We are frozen geniuses.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We make a good team. With me, us, and my glasses.” “Glitter never bothered me anyway.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I see people.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-28be-3d48-dd4f-95c15c935571"><br/> GMM 937: L “Fun fact: Ferrets are not real. They’re just stretched out noodle rats.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 938: L "My grandma’s name was Fanny. It still is. She goes by ‘Nel.’"</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 939: R “Food poisoning is my favorite movie.” “We’re foodinary geniuses, Link!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Eggplant-o-lantern. That’s a good idea, by the way.” “That’s weird, man. Accidental eating.” “This is exhilarating, guys. I’ve never felt more like an adult.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You know you got a good joke when someone says ‘oh, I get it!’ and then explains it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 940: L “Rhett, the sexy gorilla. That’s what your mom called you in high school.” R “That’s not true.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What, what, what are the chances?! Selfie! Selfie!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Are you trying to be funny or are being accidentally funny? Sometimes I don’t know.” L “Hey, just cause you lost the game, don’t talk about how stupid I am.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’ll grill a mean chicken wing and spend time with my family.” “They only spend time with me if chicken wings are involved.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 941: L "Today, I am wearing my spicy shirt and by spicy shirt, I just mean a red shirt because I just want to signify that that's the only type of spicy that I like, in shirt form, okay?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I have the power of choice. Can I also have the power of talk?” “You’re just a guy that can’t choose a long pepper.” “Y’all’ve ruint my cereal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You can’t let fate decide. You must pull the trigger of your own choosing.” “That’s some hot strawberries!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Absorb! Absorb!” L “Absorb what?” R “The pain!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’re crying.” R “I’m not crying.” L “Your left eye is crying.” R “I’m absorbing the pain.” L “It’s leaking out of your left eye.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t know why I don’t like coconut. I’m such a jerk. I’m sorry, coconut.” “I’ll never turn down a pineapple.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 942: L “Listen, we like to think of ourselves as pretty hip guys.” R “Oh, yeah.” L “We pick up what you throw down!” R “That’s right. YOLO bae, your swag is on fleek.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Are we gucci?” R “We’re gucci.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Get my towel!”... L “I don’t like to wet things. That makes me ‘GMT.’ That gets me tight. That makes my upset.” … R “That sounds like something you say when you’re getting pumped at the gym. GMT! That barbell makes me tight.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Don’t get angry at the slangers!” R “Well, I just feel like they need to consult me before they put this in Urban Dictionary.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Everything about this shirt says that somebody here made it.” “Love is a verb.” “She walked into the room so biscuitly. Hashtag curve.” “Y’all don’t even know about us.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-4a31-367b-bf46-bfbf6500eaca">L “A good country music song would be called ‘Redneck Rubbernecking.’ I do the Redneck Rubberneck. It’s a dance. It’s a line dance.” “Rhett & Link: waterboys for Brooks & Dunn.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 943: R “I do remember the one time that I peeked at the tooth fairy when I was a child just with one eye. Looked a lot like Kesha. So, I’m doing the math now, putting it together. She’s the tooth fairy.” L “Kesha plus teeth equals tooth fairy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I also thought that tooths give support.” R “Tooths give support, man. Listen, I love you mythical beasts, but if you send to me your teeth, I’m not making underwear out of them. I don’t want your teeth on my body parts.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 944: L “I’m not really good at using knives.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m not really good at cutting things. What? Like you know how to cut an onion, Drew.” D “I don’t.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We’re all very worried about you right now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Just cutting onions like a man does.” L “I’m just letting bread hang out of my mouth like a man does. I’m a bread hanging mouth man.” R “That’s like a Johnny Cash song.” Both singing-> “I’m a bread hanging mouth man,” R “-coming down the line.” L “Buy a ticket for my train.” R “Last time I hung bread from my mouth, I killed a man in broad daylight.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is a classy internet show.” R “I just gave you a gentleman’s offer to fart.” L “I felt like something else could have happened.” R “Oh, if you try to force a fart?” L “Yeah. Season finale would come early this year.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You know, now that I have a dog, I feel like I can be a better dog. Be a better dog.” “Gather around and be happy, kids!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 945: L “I’ve met Chase’s dad. Yeah, he comes with a chinchilla.” “That’s a cool dude, Lena. I wanna meet your dad!” “I’m good at knowing is someone has dad in their eye.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Go with the nose! Go with the nose! So proud of my son.” “Kid Rock’s cool, man. He’s cool. Look at that jacket. He’s a good guy.” “If we ever go on a father identification quest, trust me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Okay, Leonardo DiCaprio’s dad is not Charles because that’s my dad!” … R “That’s Link, man. Your dad is you. In fact, I don’t think your mom was involved. I think he cloned a piece of himself. Your dad knows some scientists, man. He cloned himself and that’s how you were made. You’re a clone!” L “I’m cool with that. I don’t know if my mom will be okay with that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’d like an Oculus Rift.” R “I ain’t Santa, I’m just cutting the hair. I’m done.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What I ask for is a Shop Vac, which is very fatherly, and binoculars. I want my kids to decorate my Shop Vac, like ‘World’s Greatest Dad.’” “We’re starting something new. The Key Ring of Mythicality.” “We want keychains for the one key ring. We don’t want other key rings.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The Mythical Mail Museum is not going away. It is a permanent installation of the Mythical Castle, is what Christy calls this place that we work.” R “She calls it a castle?” L “She makes fun of me. She’s like, ‘your mythical castle?’” R “Wow, my wife would never say that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-5af2-434d-9b44-7f466d5b34bd">L “We wanna thank all of you who contributed to the Mythical Mail Museum. We pass by it often and we stop and weep.” R “Weep.“ L “We weep.” R “Yeah” L “ We weep openly.” L “We show people who come through-” R “ I can’t go through there without crying and I’m not gonna be able to wear the Key Ring of Mythicality without crying so, keep sending ‘em and we’ll keep crying.” L “But it is a shrine to the family that you’re a part of.” R “Fam.” L “Hashtag fam.” R “We don’t really use that but let’s start.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 946: L “I feel like I just put my nose up to the butt of sushi chef.” R “I don’t think that’s how it works.” L “That’s not where soy sauce comes from?” R “No.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Do peppermints grow on trees?” Drew “I don’t think so.” R “Peppermilk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Please do not take stool samples to your guidance counselor. If you want to go to college, do not take it!” “This is like a date in North Carolina. You could have just called this one, ‘North Carolina Date.’” “I don’t know how to be a human right now. I forgot how to hold my arms.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “With feces like that, you should be a barber.” “I’ve never had any food that I thought, ‘Hm, I’d like to dip this into aftershave.” “Fruity up top, smokey on the bottom.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This isn’t my nemesis, is it?” L “I don’t think it’s liver.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You got it all down.” L “I got one down. I got number two to go down.” R “What do you mean, number two?” L “I got two installments.” R “Buy one, get one free? BOGO.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That’s the last frontier of food for me.” L “You could put that on the Vick’s label. ‘Helps you conquer your liver fears.’” R “That’s the last common food that I have never been able to eat. This is a seminal moment in my life and you were here for it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “They should put vapor rub on the table at every liver restaurant.” “I’ve been wanting to activate my belly now that there’s all that nastiness down in it.” “I like that sound. I like that gurgling sound.” “Rhett can’t do a kid’s toy.” “Grow into an alien. Grow into someone who can make an alien gut.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I feel like a scientist!” “Hormones made me angry.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If this is what cooking was, I’d cook more.” L “If there was an alien involved?” R “Yeah, you know. If my meals came in a box that looked this fun, I’d cook for myself all the time, and my family.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Ya know what? If those professors at NC State could see us now, they’d be like, look at those guys.’” L “They did it. Thanks to us, they’ve made it.” R “Finally using those degrees, like a couple of smart boys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6c9c-cf7a-4d77-882a613888fe">R “No, don’t take all of it. I worked so hard for this! Man, kids toy suck now.” L “Lowkey dad don’t know how to make alien guts.” R “I give up. He’s dead.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON TEN</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 947: L “People are gonna be asking, ‘what did Rhett get into over the break.’” “Can we call this ‘the brown snake tutorial’?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Beauty’s on the inside and on the clown-side.” “I’ve liked to have seen a double decker Bob Ross bus!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know, I feel like I could go into this.” L “I think you could, too. You’d be good at it. Leave me out of it.” R “You’ll be a hair stylist and I’ll be a makeup artist in another life.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 948: L “Yeah, a little elbow for the Kevin Costner.” “Purple Priscilla’s are always prowling around my purple Plymouth Prowler.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Oh, Rhett. I will not be guessing because I took my fish oil pill this morning and every time I burp, it tastes like the answer. You take fish oil, too, don’t act like-” R “I do, but I get the non-burp version.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s not a fish, but it is the name of the new band I’ve started on the side. We’re a Phish cover band and we play a very trashy version of all the Phish songs. It’s actually not a band, it’s me doing karaoke this Friday. You wanna come? I’m gonna get real trashy and I’m gonna sing a lot of Phish songs.” “There are moments where you really frighten me and I question why you’re my best friend. That was one of them.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s like my hair. Serves no purpose except for show.” L “I’m glad you finally come to grips with that.” R “No function whatsoever.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "It's basically just a hermaphrodite sea slug." L "Aren't we all"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 949: R “She had an extra womb when she put it on Cwaigslist. You don’t need your womb anymore when you’re sixty-one. You put it on Cwaigslist!” “That’s my favorite band. ‘Fatal Diarrhea.’ They put out all the hits.” “I like to think I’m a good pooper. I like to think I would be a good donor. I got large loads and I’m healthy. I’m like a great dane!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 950: R “What was that tune?” L “‘Peeing Down Your Leg, Vol. 1.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 951: L <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9e6-41fb-3c4d-e89f9e526b88"><span>“That is a juicy nanner!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Pickled Snickers parts otherwise known as Snickles.” L “We could sell these at the fair. We could call ourselves St. Snicholas.” R “St. Snicholas! Where are we selling ‘em?” L “Christmas fair.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Be the pizzle king! If you wanna be the pizzle king, you gotta pay the price. You gotta pipe the piper and eat his pipe!” “I’m the pizzle king!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 952: L “You know what I say about a lion turd! Polish it!” “I believe in you, Shia. He pulled a tooth for a role! How can he not get nominated for an Oscar? How many teeth does he have to pull to get nominated for an Oscar?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-cfef-5076-49f6-88c89e0f686f"><span>R “I’m the goldened banana! Don’t make eye contact with me!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 953: L “I don’t know the anatomy of a bayou!” R “‘The anatomy of a bayou with Link: a company by the music of White Rain’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Never turn down a meat shower!” “Vulture Vomit’s album, ‘Death by Dookie Balls’. Pick it up now at Target, exclusively!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...Vulture vomit, my other favorite band.” “That’s the euphemism for flushing a toilet on a plane: ‘Straight to the Cinnamon's house’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “They think that it’s discarded fuel tanks from</span> <span>a</span> <span>space station, which really freaks me out because when you say, ‘</span><span>a</span> <span>space station,’ I’m like, I thought there was</span> <span>the</span> <span>space station! Is there other space stations up there that are dropping balls?” L “Black balls.” R “And now we’re finding out about it?” L “Yes.” R “Goat farmers are finding out about it? What kinda world do we live in?” L “Ones where space stations blackball us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-78da-56b3-1a9f-e434c1c253ad"><span>GMMore: L “You can’t fail when you’re having fun!” “Raise it like money with Krispy Kreme donuts.” “Can I take over? I’m getting bored.” “You know what? I’ma give you 12 high fives.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 954: R “...while vacationing, I call myself Count Rhett Von Desel.” L “Not with me, you don’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I like anyone building labs in planes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “She looks like Michael from Halloween or a pinata!” R “Oh, come on! Don’t talk crap about her! She’s beautiful, Link!” L “I mean, you hit her in the wrong place, candy comes out! Or the right place.” R “Don’t take her to a kid’s birthday party in Southern California.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Some of the script from Buddy System is creeping into our improv.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m just telling you this right now, if I die and you wanna use a little bit of my credit card to go have some fun, bring me along! I mean, it’d be a great way to remember me!” “And the other thing that I’ll let you know is I do have buried treasure and I will dance towards it. That is a fact, son.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 955: R “Link, you’re on a roll, man. I’m very, very impressed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We should be in the Smithsonian, man! Don’t they have a sculpture part?” L “I do think we’ve earned at least tickets to the Smithsonian.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Guys, this is questionable.”</span> <span>“Thursday means g-mail.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 956: L "Who's Jufran? Me." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I lost by one centimeter? I lost by one centimeter! What are the freaking chances I lost by one centimeter?” L “I love throwing darts!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-78da-c7e6-7ce2-f9408dfd067b"><span>GMMore: L “I’m a seated darter!” “Ranch is like mayonnaise with confidence. That’s why I like it. It’s bold.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 957: L “I love wars without casualties!” “Get me some gravy!” “I could have inhaled this whole sword if I’da sucked harder! I’m glad that didn’t happen!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do you like my Ja Rule impression? I worked on it for at least ten minutes.” L “Sound like DMX.” R “But he kinda sounds the same.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Please don’t hurt me, or me.” L “What about me?” R “Ah, well, that’s up to you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d04e-de6a-14e8-1acc333f8bd4"><span>L “There’s no dancing like nomadic dancing.” R “Yeah, it wouldn’t be the first time.” L “Ain’t no dancing like nomadic dancing and nobody dances nomadically!"</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 958: R “...I’m faking my own beard...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m not ashamed to say how much of a dog person I’ve become that like, this dog is running around in exuberance and it gives me joy untold, unmatched in any other way.” “When you got a dog just sitting there protecting you, you feel like a king.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 959: L “Robots need to back the heck out of the valley. The closest we need to get is Rosie from The Jetsons! That’s it!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 960: L "You can put science on a shoe and we can put Kevin back in middle school. Anything is possible.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Shoutout to you, mini pigs because just ‘cause you’re smaller, dudn’t mean you’re oinky!” R “And...wow!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 961: R “Wow. You change a diaper in a really creepy way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Looks like something you do in the club. Get on the tractor. We’re doing some baby farming!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “White girl hoeing? Like in a garden!” R “You win the internet today ‘cause you said ‘white girl hoeing.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “‘Fresh out the sock’. That’s our rap album.” R “That’s a follow up to ‘White girl hoeing.’ They’re back at it again with ‘Fresh out the sock’!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You got nipple face, Drew!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 962: L “Don’t get braces from Hello Kitty herself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...our series that’s coming out this fall, ‘Buddy System...’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The whole thing is being made in a cave.” L “In a cave where it’s being edited and fashioned and forged. Forged deep within the cave!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 963: R “When I think cosplay, I think you put some effort into it, you didn’t just buy something off of a rack.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I ain’t gonna be his Robin!” "I'm so proud of all of you." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d073-8bc8-af3e-5c37aee115c5"><span>R “How ‘bout just Robin and Robin?” L “Robin and taller Robin.” R “We couldn’t agree on who is gonna be Batman so we’re both Robin</span> <span>because we both can’t be Batman.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0d5-3a7a-5600-cb87cb7697fe"><span>GMM 964: <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d304-135b-3caf-0d489dcb5e8e"><span>R “They brought Charles and his boys into the ship and where they poked and prodded them, emphasis on prodding. There was a lot of prodding.” L “Oh, you're into that?” R “No I'm just giving you the facts.” (submitted by Ashley @mythicallyash)</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d0d5-3a7a-5600-cb87cb7697fe"><span>L “Some of the words that I say like, people things happen, I don’t, just-” R “But we all know what you mean.” (submitted by @lohnlightning)</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 965: R “Mythical beasts, your questions are like dreams and our answers are like your alarm clock that says, ‘GET UP AND FACE ANOTHER COLD HARD DAY OF REALITY IN THE REAL WORLD! PUT ON YOUR BIG BOY PANTS AND YOUR BIG GIRL PANTS AND DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS!’” L “Make sure you put both your big girl and big boy pants on. You gotta be totally prepared, uh, for both genders, I don’t know what that means.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The backside of Bob Ross is so comfortable.” “I have leaarrnned something.” “Flaccid fruit? I don’t know if you can use those words together.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s a good slogan. You won’t be able to place the test no matter how hard you try.” L “Can’t place the taste.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 966: R “I can’t tell you how often I get cramps while using the scissors.” “Don’t get any crazy ideas, man. Get lazy ideas!” “Please don’t look at me like that, man! Don’t look at me like that when I’m putting deodorant on. I don’t like anybody to watch me do deodorant especially a man with his tongue out.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Think I look like Shaggy?” L “I let my portraits speak for themselves.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “So you wanna back up buddy rolls at amusement parks?” R “Yeah!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-d132-c3ba-2da5-a442731b6f2e"><span>L “It’s like carrying a cushion around with you in the place where it matters the most!"</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 967: R “Snap back to reality, oh!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I would watch this. I love to see families in trees! I don’t know, something about that just makes me happy! They’re cozy, they’re happy, but they’re in danger. If they fall, there goes daddy!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But if it were real, it would have been called, ‘West Virginia.’” L “Hm. Throw ‘em under the bus.” R “Oh! I’m sorry, we love you guys! We love you guys. We love you guys.” L “I love West Virginia!” R “And your loving cousins.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Don’t look a gimp shift in the mouth, man!” “I’m never sorry for anything, but I apologize all the time.” “I can’t button a shirt with thumbs. Like, I get help with this all the time. I couldn’t live alone!” “I have a lot of trouble.” “The problem is my thumb all [these] years.” “My thumb has been nothing but trouble!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I mean, your apologies are worthless!” R “I’m sorry, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Viva la color!” “Why do we not have a book? Because we didn’t think it could be a coloring book, that’s why.” "I color sometimes with my kids and then I look up after 30 minutes and they're not there anymore."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 968: L “Hello, cheeky baby!” “He’s my favorite person right now. Paul. Call me on twitter.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My hobby is to zero in on what a hobby is.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And yeah, my shirt’s too tight. I probably won’t wear it again.” R “My hobby is cutting Link out of his shirts after every show.”</span></p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 668-815tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-07-03:2452419:BlogPost:23041242016-07-03T18:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Jul 3 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, …</strong></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Jul 3 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, </strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 816-968</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 969-1051</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-1052-current" target="_blank">GMM 1052-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 668: R “Can I see the manager? 'Cause this is hair and, uh, cardboard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’ve swallowed a pill bigger than that before.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 669: R “If we’ve proven anything on this show is that we care about fitness! Have we proven that? I don’t know if we have proven that.” L “Well, we’ve made a lot of efforts!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I think this goes to show you that any woman who’s willing to prance is, uh, she’s on my team.” “I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where I am.” “Do you know how when you’ve been given news so good, that you feel bad, like your body starts to react negatively? That happened to me.” “Something about a woman in a leotard with that much hair, man. Hair that don’t quit!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Sometimes, I don’t understand Japanese things, but I appreciate them with a passion.” “We could bring this back! Chair dancing with tambourines!” “Who would have thought you could have so much fun with two paper plates?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “He had a dream vomit?” “You can’t dream vomit. That is bad new all around!” “Yeah, you gotta sync up with the horns.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-6b38-7be6-77a085aa2505">R “That’s what guys are thinking when they wake up. They’re like, what kind of day is this gonna be in terms of flatulence.” L “Like a weather report.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 670: L "It's like a waterfall of awesome!" </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 671: R “She was so into this idea that she dropped her kid off at boarding school, something I think about all the time.” (both laugh) L “Ouch! This goes out to people, including your own children. You realize that, right?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “G Wagon. G for gangster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Sleeping. They call it ‘the little death.’” “When we move back to North Carolina, we’ll be the rest home tour because we’ll be of the age.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The mythical elderly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 672: L “I don’t care, it tastes awesome!” “If you ate one of these every day, you also would be history.” “I thought I was going to get a cramp under here, which I’ve gotten many times from eating meat mountains.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We need to do this more often. You just talk about things and hand them to me and I eat ‘em.” “This is like going to the Grand Canyon and learning about the history of the Earth, but all I need to know is the history of this sandwich, which was probably you know, 5 minutes at Arby’s. The present is it going into my mouth.” “Another end for my friend.” “Yeah, I’ve dipped my fries into everything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If you’ve never been out here, when you come out here, go to ‘In-N-out.’ It’s like a spiritual experience.” “And the fries are awesome. They turn me into an animal, especially when they’re animal fries.” “Pipe down, Porky! Pipe down, you’re not going to get any of this Dutchman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a4ba-a061-400c-8380ab28b49a">R “Chicken nuggets remind me of the state I was born in, Georgia. It’s why I eat ‘em.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 673: R “We are in Biosphere 1 right now, Link! It’s awesome!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-9958-f597-2f32f3e1827a">L “You gotta have a theater degree to use a rice thresher.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 674: L “A bathroom is never a good place to be surprised…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “And if you’re currently trapped in a port-o-potty, naked, just figure a way out, okay?” L “Just get out of there and don’t tell anybody it ever happened!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You know how sometimes I wanna get out of the house that much quicker? Two things at once. I was peeing and applying deodarant at the same time! Must I spell this out?” R “That’s a fool’s errand, man.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you’re in a marriage that’s been going for 36 years, don’t ask for trouble, man. Don’t see if she’s happy. She’s not.” L “Oh, that is sad.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-f1be-585e-6d77403ad74b">L “Is there something you need to tell us about your quality of your marriage?” R “I’ve only been married for 14 years. My wife’s happy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 675: L "'Slunch', slouch. 'Slunch' is a word now." "This episode's falling apart."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Slunch is what you have in between supper and lunch." "I do not want 'Good Mythical Morning' to endorse men going up to women and kissing their hands." "Today is the last day ever that you will be able to get a 5th anniversary Mythical Shoe."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (reading a fan letter) "P.S. Rhett's super cool and Link's kinda girly." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 676: R “Hey, everybody’s got taste buds on their back.” “I’m a potato lover.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Okay, now that’s like a Jamba Juice practical joke.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You ruined my love life, guys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-bad9-940c-3902-748cd36a37e2">R “It’s like I just took a bite of the Garden of Eden. After the fall.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 677: L “Why am I confused? Mainly because you’re talking to yourself and talking to your hand about voting for Kennedy! This is crazy!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Boy, my family would sit down. We’d have spaghetti with milk.” L “I almost thought about not coming over to your house anymore because-“ R “So milky?” L “it was so milky over there. It made me feel weird.” R “Such a milky environment.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “As a kid, I didn’t drink milk. It was horrible to me, it was nasty. I also didn’t drink water.” “I was a late bloomer when it came to milk, but I’m killing the dairy industry. I’m proping the dairy industry up, and the chocolate syrup industry, and the peanut butter industry, and that is my diet. I wouldn’t drink milk, I wouldn’t drink water. I would only drink coke, and I mean that in the southern sense of any soda. I’m just as healthy as you now.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-341d-193a-a6a860b20904">R “Don’t put Link in your pocket.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 678: R “The one flaw in Mr. Rogers’ character: He sicked a bat at her.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t read anything.” “I dream CDC reports.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-f52d-b066-9ca5-b489eb2c4bee">R “Case report is synonymous for Link’s dream journal at CDC.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 679: R “Hey, buddy. Get a butter bite. Hey buddy, did you get a butter bite?” "Did you get a butter bite, brother?" “I just have a positive attitude about everything.” “Come on, Chipmunk Link. You gotta get it down.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Good for us.” “Look at me, look at how I’m smiling now.” “Who knew flowers were such a nasty, nasty, bad thing." "I'm gonna bite, chew, chew, chew, swallow. Not even gonna think about it."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 680: R “Even if you’re a test tube baby, you should keep watching and take a moment to think about it. You got a momma to be thankful for…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Today, we ask the age-old question.” L “Will it mini-van?” R “Let’s mom about that!” R “Good Mythical Moms!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-648d-a091-c7924f8a3538">R “I don’t know why I’m getting so tickled.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “If there was a butter spray named ‘Rhett,’ I’d be buying it every day. I’ll tell you that right now.” L “Every day?” R “I’d have one every day…’A can of Rhett’….It would be part of daily routine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-795a-3e79-c9da-ecefad5d3d9f">R “I love the smell of wood, man. Can you tell?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 681: R “You guys look like you could be Stampy’s kids! What’s up with that? Hold on. Do we need to talk about something?” Stampy “They just base their hairstyle on who they look up to really.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “These kids are geniuses. They have genes that make them geniuses.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-b583-f460-e34bc5aa6143">R “It’s all down to you, me, and these torches, buddy!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You’re telling me that you’ve called your mom twice in one day?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-812a-fd8c-aed2-fc1844e471d6">L “I have a knack for making things more awkward.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 682: R “Don’t cry, big white fluffy turtle.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 683: R “I’m a pretty messed up dude, so, ya know, I’m good at figuring out which things are messed up and what things are made up by Linkypoo.” “I’ve been Shreked!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I am a model princess, if anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 684: R “I don’t go to the club. Look at me, guys. Come on. Get a grip.” “I’m like, ‘why do we humans do this? Let me go out there and do my Michael Jackson and make everybody laugh.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If it’s not viral, then it has to be alien.” R “Aliens exist. We’ve proved it this morning on ‘Good Mythical Morning.’” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “No one’s weaker than when they’re laughing.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Maybe we should teach a class on Lynda!” L “Boxing and Laughing.” R “Making your opponent laugh. A boxing extravanga with Rhett & Link.” L “Laughing your way to the Welterweight title by Rhett & Link.” R “I’ll be your trainer. With special cameos by Rhett as Link’s trainer.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “So, what are you saying, Link? Next time somebody laughs in your face, punch ‘em?” L “If you’ve been looking for the opportunity, then that’s it.” R “If you want to.” L “If you want to.” R “Don’t punch people, but if you’ve got somebody that you really need to punch” L “Make ‘em laugh.” R “and it’s your decision to do it, get ‘em laughing first.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 685: R “I looked like Lurch.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Do not do the Chicken Dance not matter what day it is.” L “Lop the head off the Chicken Dance.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You get in shape at the prom!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-f1b1-0414-2d0a38a03ff1">L “Oh, yeah, baby! Line ‘em up, knock ‘em down!” R “If you don’t win prom king after this, transfer to another school!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Hello. Welcome to my mouth." "Bobbleheads do anything you want them to do." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Bobbleheads say no. Bobbleheads say yes. Bobblehead be silent." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 686: L “$1.3 million dollars.” R “My butt is not worth it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t touch metal in general because of all the prints I leave on it because of how oily I am.” “I don’t even use a mouse, I use just hand signals.” “We’re men, daggumit.” “...we went into a store and we came out with two book bags and we wore them around the streets of New York City.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “What do you want for Christmas little boy?” L “Santa car?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-8c5e-0f78-3126df85a2e0">R “You just sat in my lap, like I was a car. That happened.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 687: R “Anytime you’re doing something wrong, you gotta look like you’re doing something right. Remember that, kids.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Anyway, I’m just saying, I wish I was a squatter, but if I was, I would do it temporarily. I wouldn’t get caught then I would go live in the mountains.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 688: R “You gonna have to use my hints. My hints are great. I want you to win. I want to carve you in a watermelon so bad.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Celebrities in the eye of the beholder.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You’re one in a watermillion.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link, you don’t talk a lot while you carve. You’re a man on a mission.” L “Well, you know, if you’re gonna talk, I’m gonna listen. You know me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-0040-bd87-8ca0-d99239568cbf">R “I see your mouth and raise you an ear.” “Look at the resembulance.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 689: R (about his beard->) “I imagine it quite often.” “What doesn’t kill the tongue makes the tongue stronger.” “So anyway, I guess you can lift whatever you want with whatever you got.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Never has a tongue hated the man it resided in more than that guy’s.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I want you to be happy." “Teeth make sense because, I don’t know, it justs makes a little more sense to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t think he’s too stupid, just the right amount of stupid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e646-390d-e875-05844fb490bc">GMM 690: </span>R "Let's delve in and dole out."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Any man who looks up 'pookiestick' when he's trying to come up with a word also stalks his ex-girlfriends." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's my ex-girlfriend's name: 'Blankety blank blank.'" L "You also dated 'tttttt' in the past." R "Yeah, I did!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "You see ladies and gentlemen, when you want to crad, you just have to crad a little bit." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Oh, peanut butter Kit-Kat. What? What? What?" "Oh my gosh, guys. This is the greatest thing I've ever had. Hold on, I don't think you guys realize that my life has just changed. This the most amazing thing I've ever eaten." R "Well, you gotta move to Poland now." L "I'm moving to Poland. Point me toward the pole. Here I go."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 691: L “I always recommend having a scuba-certified Noah around.” “Listen to me. If I die, I want you to carry on for about a week, and then I want you to be, like, ‘I can’t do this without him’ and then I want you to quit, but I want you to try for a week without me.” “Cause I want you to prove that you can’t do it without me. I don’t want you to just say, ‘nah, out of his honor, I’m not gonna do it.’” “There’s nothing like looking at a stopwatch and a guy float in a pool for two and a half minutes. This is invigorating.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I bet you GloZell could hold a mean piece of breath.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 692: R “We have transformed the ‘Good Mythical Morning’ set into a kitchen.” L “This is nothing but danger.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I’m always a little frightened by Captain Crunch. I wouldn’t want to spend any time with him.” L “He’s a loose cannon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e626-3b7b-1cee-8781e10f272d">L “It’s not my job to fry the bacon, I just bring it home.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 693: L “You don’t want to know what the road’s witch doctor name is? The knocking beetle.” “Whistling language should never die!” (put that on a t-shirt) “Next time you go to the Amazon, you are gonna want to ask somebody what fat spider monkey’s your breast.” Put that on your smartphone when canoeing down the Amazon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You said Satan. Don’t invoke anything here, Link.” “I’m going to teach my children to only speak in this language. I’m tired of hearing their voices.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If you want to know what it’s like to thump our actual heads, buy the bobblehead.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b45d-fc66-3de2-d58b9d6d3ad1">R “I’m so interested in islands, especially the people just kill ya.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 694: R “It’s like life. You need the absence of light and you need light at the same time. The world of Shadow Puppet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “That’s like a comic book character. Flounder-donkey. He’s got two eyes on one side of his head.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Goblin hands."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 695: R "You got hair back there? He's like a bear...I saw him at the pool one time. I adverted my eyes...Your mom plucks it." (in an accent->) “Do not take me to your office…. Horseman, they call me Horseman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (as Reginold the Hairdresser) "I call it hair topping. It's not a wig. Wigs are for sad people." "I take after my mom who has no back hair, but my dad is like a gorilla back there!" </p>
<p></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9d-3959-9c44-af3e2da6af4b"><span>GMM</span> <span>696: L “Thank you mythical beasts for listening to the arguments. It’s not a popularity contest, even though I know you like me.” “Cats purr at the frequency of a diesel engine.”</span></span> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I should be a catwoman, a cat lady.” “I had a cat named Patches for a couple of days, 'til it had worms coming out of its anus."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 697: L “I don’t care if you call it cola, if you call it soda, if you call it pop, you can call it black liquid that fizzes, for all I care.” “I’m coking with ya.” "Yes, I'm wearing purple pants!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “No one has ever called cola, ‘black liquid that fizzes.’” “Can you carbonate urine? I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It makes me wonder.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "And kids, this is the lesson: Get white pants and get someone to dye them any color you want them so you can shake your booty in 'em and put it up against a spinning wheel." "Teach a child to pull guts out of an animal. Come on, live a little bit!" "I want one of two things. I want sprinkled pants or fried brim, and I want it in the next half hour. Can you make that happen for me?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It tasted like burnt accidents." "I sense that you're on the verge of a lot pain, I don't know what's happening, but it's okay. I'm here for you, man." "I know I can't make you happy in that way, I'm just your friend." "Are you about to cry?" "I could eat a mess of crappie. Just pile it up high."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 698: L “Wouldn’t you be angry if you lived in a chest of drawers? Call me Chester, Chester Drawers.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Have you been texting with boys?" R "Yeah, like, Patrick and Dillion and Schwa-schwa. Yeah, Schwa-schwa's been sending me lots of texts. I'm thinking about going out with him and Dillion at the same time and you can't do anything about it 'cause I'm a strong independent woman."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-f504-d81c-6952-3d59c9d57c66">GMM 699: R “Y’all know y’all wish y’all was me!” "You gotta grease yourself up if you're gonna do this kind of thing. I mean, if you're gonna escape from prison or you're gonna rob a Paesan Pizza, you gotta put Crisco all over yourself." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-21e0-99c1-36c4-c8ca8923d0a3">L “Don’t pee on your only source of sustenance.” "Put Crisco all over yourself!" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Well, if you're duck-sucked, a lot of the time, you get duck-stuck. 'Well, first thing that happened officer is I got duck-sucked. And then right after I got duck-sucked, I got duck-stuck.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I will be upside down for 3 hours for $125,000. I will make that claim right now, I will do that. Any theme park in the world, if you wanna put us on the loop-de-loop-" L "Us? Me? I'm in this?" R "Well, 125,000 each." L "-each."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 700: R “This is what your liver looks like if all you eat is skittles.” L “This is what we can do, Internet!!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (misreading a fan letter) "I love you guys like this presents."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 701: R “All beekeepers should be able to breathe in and talk at the same time.” “Bill, you can’t just handle hand-fulls of bees.” “This is not the first time that Link has worn something that is called, ‘The Scent of the Queen.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Bill!” L “You have outdone yourself!” R “Your bees have outdone themself.” L “Your bees and yourself has outdone itself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-f504-7135-5f1a-e63f01ff7189">GMMore: L “No one wants an orifice pried apart by bees.” R “Period.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 702: L “Me beat you. You make fire? Me make more fire! 84 percentile! Me got heavy eyebrow ridge.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 703: R “I have invented bleachers! Put a field in front of them and you will enjoy soccer for days!” “Bleachers in the SKY!” "Oh, he was on the Wright flyer at the wrong time!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>704: L “I’m in constant fear of tweeting anything. That’s why I tweet so little because my boss might know the truth about me and fire me!” R “That’s right! I look at all your tweets, son!” L “I ain’t got no boss!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Yeah, I’ve never seen a Tinkerbell with a Busch Light before.” “Sometimes, I just get a pack of Cool Ranch Doritos and just lick ‘em and nothing else!” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a horse emoji used properly except for somebody who’s riding one currently, and I don’t follow anybody who rides horses, so.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9e-5772-c6cc-c540f06f6e59"><span>L “I’ve never been able to do a glue factory joke right. The trend continues.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "But, how did I make babies?" R "Well, we can talk about that later." L "Actually, let's not." R "Well, I mean, later, when the camera's off." L "Actually, let's not." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "lynda.com/more. Free ten day trial. Holla atcha boy." (Holla at your boy) "Dude, you're such an idiot." "Don't snap-brag."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I was using the bathroom, number two, and I was snapchatting at the same time." L "Only Anthony Padilla can get away with something like that, man."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's what I look like when I use the bathroom." "Somebody snapped back at me, 'No poo selfies.'" "I grow a red beard and red eyebrows when I poop." "That was a good day on Snapchat."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's so funny, Rhett." L "I can't sit here with you anymore." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 705: R “Alright, well, I’m not doing that much mayonnaise because I’m using my brain today, not just my drill.” “Not the first time I’ve heard that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Now, see the way I’ve done it, I’ve got mayonnaise in every crevice.” “Now’s your moment. You just go down into the description all by your lonesome. Just have a little description time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...I recently celebrated fourteen years of marriage to my wife…” “Is it Mary or Margaret? Make a decision. Just kidding, I love it. I would call you ‘M&M’ if you were my friend.” “It’s not hot.” “You bring crayons, I bring a sword.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-26bc-d4fa-549f-a126de471208">L “I fell for it! Oh, dang!” “See the stuff we get? It’s great to be loved.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 706: R "If I've learned anything, if you squeeze anything hard enough, you get some milk out of it." (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/milliemanagtyde" class="fn url">Millie the Magical Mangatyde</a>) "I feel violated." "That's a good way to describe you." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "The world really opens up if donkey milk tastes good." "I feel so bad for babies right now." "When was the last time you saw a camel hang out with a cow?" "I'm more of a donkey man." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>707: R “Dogs be turning into humans, man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You thought Eddie farted for this game? I don’t want to show that video!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: R “Any time I want to put things in perspective, I watch tortoise mating videos.” “Always regret it, never forget it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9e-d6a9-84f6-74d46792ce45"><span>R “We sat there for four hours waiting for that elephant to crap.” L “That was our taste of nature photography, and I shouldn’t have used the word, ‘taste.’”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 708: R “Get ready to pupate! Are y’all ready to pupate?” “This one involves a cow, a liver, feces, snails, grass, ants, and darkness.” “Everybody get ready to pupate cause we’re doing the ‘birds get ready to eat me’ dance!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Sounds like my senior prom night.” “I’m doing the ‘birds please eat me’ dance!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Cats are such good hosts.” “Because this can also infect humans, there are some people theorizing at this point that this may be what makes a crazy cat lady. Someone who likes the smell of cat urine.” “Nature can be a dark place. Watch your back. Stay inside.” “Y’all get ready to pupate!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-09cf-1c2a-3176-5ee73e1147aa">L “Snails got a raw deal. They’re always like the middle man in some, like, backwards parasitic relationship.” “Snails need their own lobbyist.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 709: L “Look, it’s Randalf the Gray! You shall pass…physics!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Have you seen my cloud swing? Hold on, let me download it. Oh, it’s syncing! There it is.” “You shall comment and like!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-4306-492b-46e4f69ea67a"><span>R “The idea of leaving my kids somewhere for four weeks in the middle of summer? That’s [an] amazing idea!” L “That is a parent’s stunt.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I learned LogicPro when we switched over from GarageBand.” “If my memory serves me, correct me.” (put that on a t-shirt). “I didn’t go to the pool as a kid. That wasn’t my thing. I wasn’t a pool person.” Oh heck, yes, I miss(ed?) my mom. I wanna (gonna?) own that all day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-e2fd-e4b7-fea3-32ecf540081e">R “There’s so many years that we could’ve just camped together and it never happened. I regret that.” “I didn’t poop for five days.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>710: R “Who cleaned up your son’s vomit? Me! I am essentially fathering your children!” “With the Egg Rollie, you can be the fun dad with cylindrical eggs!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like a timelapse of an eggplant growing.” “I did not anticipate the force with which one could be hit with a sub sandwich.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I tell you what it reminds me of,” L “What?” R “but I don’t wanna say!” L “Egg! An egg tower! It’s like a timelapse of an egg tower growing in the forest.” R “No. It’s like you when you got back home from Camp Caraway.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “‘Stinky Linky!’ That’s what my Aunt Viki used to call me.” “I’m the Mythical Boss all of a sudden. This is great!” “I’m just not appetized by what I’ve been watching.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m also the Mythical Boss, apparantly. ‘Rhett McLaughlin’s Mythical Monster Truck Spit Bucket.’ That is awesome!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-7c4e-ad13-99f5031d895b"><span>L “Is it real hot?” R “Is it hot?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 711: L “It’s like an accordion of fives!” R “Somebody hook some sort of battery up to that situation!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-795a-cb1e-6554-7c0eaee89e45"><span>R “I touched stranger hair with my nose!” Mamrie “You didn’t taste it, did you?” R “No!” L “The sad thing is, I thought this was appetizing! Like, I’m like, ‘Hm, it’s something cooked!’” R “Y’all think this smells bad? Smells like something been in a crockpot to me!” L “It’s like a roast!” Mamrie “It’s burnt, but I don’t hate it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 712: L “Kids love gross-out stuff.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 713: R “Yes, I would like to be suggested.” “I don’t know, we don’t know anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We just met, Rhett. Met we just Rhett.” “Solid and rigid and powerful.” “Moving and spinning and turning.” “Well note to self: Don’t do the Bionic arm thingy on anybody ever. You could be arrested for that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Lots of rigid strong arm holding happenings in that episode.” “I don’t know ‘After Effects,’ never have, but let’s say I need to learn that because the qualified personnel who worked with us on our team, who are masters, decide to do, well let’s just say that they take a short vacation…” “If you have to come to somebody’s house to sell something, I know I’m stepping on toes here, then there’s something suspicious about the product.” “When no one wants to go out and get it, there’s something suspicious about it.” “...as a general rule, your suspicion is to be raised when people have to come to you and sell you into buying something.” “(about Howie Mandel->) “We met him in person, he fistbumped us. He would not shake hands.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b981-2f09-0a4b-fef2310cd956">R “...decide to quit.” “You don’t want to suggest to Google.” “I bought 17 vacuum cleaners that way.” “What if what we did on today’s episode was successful and we are both now permanently hypnotized?” “Hypnotisms happen.” (put that on a t-shirt)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>714: R “It has been said that those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. This is why, despite my better judgement, I keep going back to the Sizzler.” “Don’t take shortcuts, you might end up eating people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But, you know, I always say, better eat a friend than a brother.” L “I’ve never heard you say that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This brings us to the question of, if we were stranded and I died, would you eat me” L “Yes.” R “‘cause I’m not rela- okay, good. What part?” L “Yes, that’s easy. Did you think that was going to be difficult?” R “What would you start with?” L “What part? Now, that’s difficult. I don’t know what part, but I do know that I would face you the other direction so you wouldn’t be looking at me. Like, I’m not going to eat your face.” R “You could just cut my head off and it depersonalizes me and then you can play soccer with my head! I don’t care!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Put your videos on laserdisc! Ain’t nobody gonna tape over that!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-a74c-ffd1-98f89319b361"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “I wasn’t intimidated by the guy. I mean, Christy and the door were in between me and him!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 715: L “You can’t have too much fried chicken.” R “Be the hero! Bring fried chicken!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Do you know a bad word that starts with ‘z’?” R “No, I don’t know about that one.” L “Oh, we should make it up. Zork! Zork is a really bad word.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-d30f-e237-09e67278ee70"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “Good work, Rhett. You’re a good taster, man. You’re a master taster."</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 716: R “Thank you to the 12 people who just died.” “Every 6 seconds, Rhett gets another question right.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I call it NASA, that’s actually the correct pronunciation. NASA. It’s a long ‘a’ and then, an ‘ah’ sound.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2378-2812-6bbd-6d208c326a1a">R “First time I’ve heard that: ‘I’ll be Jesus.’ Sure.’” “Buzzer Burger. Hey, man. I’ll take a number 3 combo Buzzer Burger with a side of leaves.” “Those Russian kids, man. We gotta get one of those.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 717: R “That could be us, man. We could be post-humans delivering mail, like, shooting it out of our mouth, however you want it to happen!” “Join us! We’re making the future now! I just came up with that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Aunt Viki has a fake knee.” R “Yeah, she’s a cyborg!” L “Well.” R “Aunt Viki is post-human, man!” L “She’s an awesome woman.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Volcano boarding is real. Put that on a t-shirt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R "You gotta create another rectum.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Well, I have always talked about having a hand that dispenses sauces. Five different sauces.” L “The fact is, it’s true. And the other hand is nuggets pop out of the palm, right?” R “Yeah, one hand is a nugget dispenser and then you’ve got sweet and sour, barbecue, buffalo, honey mustard and ranch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-1fc4-9015-59fcd4e19582"><span>R “He’s got the blue cheese pinky. He got the blue cheese upgrade.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>718: R “And I never understood this whole principal ‘cause I’m too tall for the military. Don’t you want the big people in the military? Don’t you want the big people to come out over the hill?!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “R.I.P. VIP Christopher Lee. If it’s not too late, we can still put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “Welcome to what did you just do to the mic?” “We might have been spied up, ya know, if we had been together, be like, ‘spy duo Rhett & Link. I gotta hire them!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-54f4-8af8-826afd07a078"><span>L “I made the CIA pay for my waffle, man!” R “Oh, man. I should have done that!”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 719: R "Every year, I dress up like Santa and I give out beans and franks cookies." “It’s the bite that keeps biting back.” “Man, it’s like I’m on a rollercoaster & all I do is bite something.” (in a scottish accent) “I’m going to rule you all.” “I will be your king.” “Do you want to be a McNeal or a MacNeal?” "They'll take our lands." "Oh, yes. Scottish Christmas." “Brother Link breaks out the frank & beans cookies...”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Flaming hot wrongness is what’s happening.” "Soggy never hurt nobody." <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9a6-e833-5123-f53c5c35c07b"><span>“It’s kind of Christmasy!” </span></span>"Take me to Scottish Christmas."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0b50-14b7-3a12-e491427dd42f">GMMore: L “Anybody else wanna get a puckerface? Pu-pu-pu-puckerface. Pu-pu-puckerface.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 720: L “Speaking like Yoda. Ask a lot. This question has been.” “I like to play, ‘who burped?’” “Let’s just go with shorts always, dude!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Speedo today, shorts tomorrow.” “Well, chunky soup will put you to sleep, brother.” “We thought, why let everybody ship us. why don’t we just ship ourselves.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You know what, lumos-pumpkin-13, you know what you get the treat of? I’m gonna play my guitar with your face, like a big pick.” “That’s what you have to do in order to work here.” (singing->) “My buddy, my buddy, wherever I go, he goes, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy and me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b981-73f7-3f2d-e28fa7b1f7f2">L “They didn’t make you watch all our videos before you started working here?” “That’s a cool t-shirt if you’re into 80s references. ‘I go diagonal.’ and then it’s an Etch A Sketch?” “‘I go diagonal’ and then it says it on an Etch A Sketch.” “I had Kid Sister.” “A swallowable doll is a genius thing cause that way if you don’t want your friends to play with it, you just swallow it. It’s like, ‘you can’t play with that one, that one’s special.’” “You know how when you have to crap stuff out and the doctor’s like, ‘you need to bring that in.’” “That kid’s got diaper rage. AH!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>721: L “It’s Joyce, right?” Nancy “No, Nancy.” L “Hi, Nancy! Good to meet you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I wouldn’t live in there.” Stephen “In that house? He will eat you alive.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think that based on that, what happened there, Link, I think we’re gonna see turtlenecks and velvet jackets pop up on business cards and real estate agents all around the country!” L “We’re trendbusters.” R “Trendbusters. If there’s something that’s going well, we better make sure it stops. If anybody’s doing it, we’re gonna end that trend real fast!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-8dcb-4008-631dc72fb18c"><span>L “But, we’ll never forget you, Stephen. We will never forget you. We’ll think of you often.” R “If you end up projecting your face on the side of houses, we get a cut of that.” L “Yeah, we’d be very upset to hear that you would do that without us.” R “Could you imagine that? We’ll see him on the news. He’ll be on the front of the real estate magazine: ‘Stephen Biskup. Now projecting his face of the side of houses.’ [It’ll] be like, ‘What? That’s our idea!’” L “Oh, we’ll track him down if that happens.” R “Don’t do it, Stephen.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ee-76ca-92fc-a2a9671441dd">GMM 722: L “Kick the bucket in an unusual way. That’ll give us something to talk about today.” R “Is that a command?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 723: Both “This is a game!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know how sometime when a fly gets trapped in your house, and then it starts getting fatter and slower? What is up with that?!” “They just invite you to come up and slap them…” “I get them with chopsticks. Mr. Miyagi, thank you.” “Double whammy, cold’s bad for grammy!” “‘Bind as a bat’ is a euphemism that is wrong based on wrongness.” “It’s been shown that women who are going through menopause cannot taste bitterness. I’m sure there’s a bitterness and menopause joke in there somewhere, but I’m not gonna touch it. I’m not gonna say anything about that. You can imagine what that joke would be.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...I love carrots, but I don’t like to look like I’ve been spray-tanned.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “See when I start going against everything that I actually think, it works!” R “Do the opposite of what you think and life will be so much simpler!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “How ‘bout this, Link. ‘The Great Wall of China is visible from space.’” L “I’ve heard this and I’ve assumed that it’s true because they always say there’s only two manmade things you can see from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other one is killer punch line that I haven’t come up with yet!” R “We’re great on this show at giving you the structure to make your own great jokes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If I keep this little part of Russia that I snipped off, I can probably wrap it around something later! Maybe around the iron core of the earth when I get that out! Wrap a little bit of Russia around it.” R “That is a great idea! We should start a GoFundMe campaign, or at least a Kickstarter. We want to wrap the extra part of Russia that didn’t make it around Pluto around the center of the earth!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And Putin is on board! That’s our slogan!” L “Putin on board. Put that on any car you’re in, too.” R “Putin on board. Wow! That’s the best idea we’ve had in months!” L “Sadly, yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When was the last time you ate a apple and you were like, ‘man! that was a good apple!’? Doesn’t happen.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s a better Kickstarter. We would like to MRI a polar bear. Putin is on board!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>724: L “Believe the Dachshund.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’d wanna watch you be abducted as I was pulling away in my lumberjack truck.” R “We need a guy with a GoPro to get abducted.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If we come in contact with aliens, we’re gonna know it! ‘District 9,’ ‘Independence Day,’ that kind of situation. Get ready for it, guys!” “Stephen Hawking says we shouldn’t want them to come ‘cause Stephen Hawking says that it’s unwise to think they would be friendly. I don’t really care. I think it’d be cool. Even if they were crazy mean and we have to fight an epic battle against them, it’s still gonna be awesome.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What would it take for you to believe?” L “I’d have to be probed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>725: L “Wow. That evoked a lot of emotions and I’m gonna ignore all of ‘em.” “I’m connected to you via what you’re eating, which is disturbing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you’re gonna go savory, don’t go halfway to savory town, go all the way and be the mayor!” L “You’re the president of savory city.” R “Well, the mayor is what I was thinking.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I will be wearing my clean three-piece carpet suit to all formal events for the remainder of 2015, so look for me there, at all your proms that have already happened.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Rhett & Link bookends and you separate us with knowledge, the knowledge from books.” R “What does that represent?” L “It represents-“ R “The knowledge in between us.” L “The more books we read, the further apart we grow, Rhett.” R “Okay, that’s what it means!” L “Which is why I never read!” R “And that’s why you shouldn’t read, kids!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t play with fire, adults!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How not to Sterno with Rhett & Link!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is a new that we’ve invented called-“ R “Hey, look, I got a meatball!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 726: L “Now, we’re no strangers to eating meat products. We are meat lovers…” “My mom owned seven donkeys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Man, turkey is confusing sometimes.” “You donkey lipped a sandwich? ‘Hold on. Let me donkey lip this.’” “I don’t hang out with donkeys.” “Don’t donkey lip on a first date.” “‘Mushy Bun.’ That’s my favorite kind of music. Have you heard ‘Mushy Bun’? Ah, it’s so good.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We got to rejuvenate. When we come back, we’re gonna be like glowing. It’ll be like we’re pregnant.” R “Oh, we’re gonna be so tan.” L “And pregnant. I plan on being, pregnatizing myself. I gotta do some research. It’s gonna take like three weeks to figure it out. I’ll need that glow. I need that pregnancy glow.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-bada-0d8f-8d72-85f3222aec3d">R “Blend it friend it. Blend it and make it splendid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m sproud of myself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 727: R “Say no to cavity searches, say yes to flight!” “If you believe in freedom, you believe in flight.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Freedom. Flight. Forever. Farmers Only dot com! Not a sponsor.” L “Wow. I’m glad I’m not you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Why, how and when did Harry Potter find the sorcerer’s stone? He found it from the invisibility cloak, man! The one ring, what power did it give Frodo? Invisibility. Casper the Friendly Ghost is so friendly. Why? Because he’s invisible! My best friend in Kindergarten, invisible! These are the people that I want to hang out with! These are the heroes I want to emulate!” Eddie “Mr. Link. Please, calm down.” L “Oh, I’m fine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I don’t have the power of pronunciation.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I can put fanny packs all up and down my legs.” “The Fanny Flyer.” “Whenever I feel down, I’m just gonna go up, up, up, and away into the sky…” “Flight is right tonight!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 728: R “We’ve got to avoid the microphone ears!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Where’s are dee blankets?” L “Where zee meelk cahns?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you’ve ever escaped from prison, in any form, send us a postcard! We wanna be the repository for prison escapee postcard-ists.” “Please pretend pies push people past pretend places.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Penelope praises Paul particularly passionately pretty-” R “We may have found Link’s gift!” L “past-” R “Maybe not.” L “pookie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I ran seven miles this weekend because of the books that I was listening to.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 729: R “Feel all over it.” “I think it’s a Christmas ornament.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It smells like if a teddy bear soiled itself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Bill “Who comes up with these things?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Bill “But I lost my dignity, that’s the problem.” L “We lost ours years ago.” Bill “Bound to happen sooner or later.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do Link!” Bill “Do what I say! You do what I say, I am from North Carolina!” R “Yeah. Thanks for explaining my world to everybody.” Bill “Do what I say, stretch!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Bill “I know you guys don’t do your show in the same room. People at home don’t know about that. You are in North Carolina and you are in prison!” “Link’s like, all girls wear pants!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 730: L “...this one is the mailbox of the future. I am calling it ‘The Robobox’ and it’s got a little remote because in the future, you ain’t got to go to your mailbox to get your mail. Your mailbox comes to you, man!” “That’s what happens in the future. You gotta go back to the cassettes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Sometimes I need my battery charged.” “You’re a genius, Link!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You’re so dangerous!” R “I’ve never broken anything, man. I don’t break things. That’s not my deal.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m Indiana Jones! North Carolina McLaughlin, that’s what [I] should have been!” “Think about all the things we can grab though!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Step 1: get a whip. Step 2: whip it out!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 731: R “I’m very worried with what’s happening with your body right now.” “It’s pretty difficult being next to a man behaving this way and not begin to vomit.” “This is so unscientific.” “The idea behind that one is that the peppermint or the menthol flavor will cancel out the burning sensation of the capsaicin from the pepper. There’s an asterisk next to that. It says, ‘Eddie made this up.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I seriously love peanut butter so much that I’m finding emotional comfort in eating it. Like, you’re coming through for me again, lady.” R “Why is it a lady?” L “‘Cause she treats me right.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The sound you make when you vomit. It’s so guttural, man!” L “Yeah, that’s where it comes from.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “So if you eat a hot pepper, don’t go brush your teeth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Dance out of frame.’ Oh, what a great way to end the season!” L “Oh, this is poetic!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “That’s called bonding.” “I am so sorry, Lizzie. Ew, that is so gross. I’ve never blown my nose on anybody.” Lizzie “I think I have. It’s fine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re like a bear Yellowstone, man.” “Smokeless the bear. Smokish.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-b717-1816-de51-9cd7182a286d"><span>L “We’ll be back, guys. Don’t forget about us.” (Eddie burps)</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON EIGHT</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 732: R “Link, the cat eats the rabbit. Put that in a children’s book! The cat eats the rabbit, kids. Makes the world go round. Circle of life.” “Y’all got some al-gee wafers? I like it with whole milk! Right after I get through with my Grape Nuts, I move right on to my al-gee wafers. Part of a complete breakfast. Al-gee wafers.” “I could be a bird. That’s what I’ve learned. I like birds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I got a big ol’ meatball in my mouth. Chef Boyardee come to town.” “Again, if it was warmed up and came out of a can at my grandma’s house, I might be game. But, as-is, man, this is like a bad, bad Beanie Weenie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Now that I’m starting to develop theories, I’m starting to gag.” R “I’m developing theories, and that always makes me queasy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Here’s to season 8, guys! We’re still doing this! We’re not letting up for nothing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Okay. I’m done eating. Forever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 733: R “It’s called the exo-underwear-skeleton.” “Oh wow, it’s like a cat got out of a dumpster.” “Are you a hermit that watches ‘Good Mythical Morning’?” “She’s such a gossip. I hate her.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A massage from Chase is not under the ‘best’ category.” “If so, leave a hand signal down below!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “When in doubt, get out.” “Do I have to spell out how weird it can get?” “The swell was huge and my sessions were enduring.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You gotta go all the way to ‘I hate her.” “He made us a freakin ‘Good Mythical Morning’ skateboard.” “If that’s not mythical, I don’t know what is.” “You never heard of the Whisper 2000?!?” “He cried one cashew.” “Once you break the 12 second barrier, I’m gonna start prying your hands off of me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4486-62b5-67c1-0ed5e6da7f72">Stevie “I feel like you two could talk like that for hours!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 734: R “That’s where he keeps his pocketknife, in his pocket ‘cause he’s from South Carolina and they do things right down there.” “Sampson Parker, man.” “Even better ‘cause there was a combine, it was in South Carolina, there was a fire. That’s way better than James Franco in a canyon in Utah!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is like a stupid circus act!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Ain’t no tonsils in there, ain’t no boulders in the back!” “Why we gotta cut? That’s the best part!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 735: L “That one smells like hurt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m not weak, I’m?” L “I’m strong!” R “And if I’m strong, I have a lot of?” L “Scent!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Santa Monica?” L “Yacht club.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Sure will be nice when they make this road four lanes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Washington, D.C. What are the chances.” (singing) “I believe in luck.” “I hate witches, man. I hate ‘em. Especially when I’m playing with them at horseshoes.” “I like the smell of leather.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Kiss the luck. Slurping up all the luck!” R “Why don’t you just stick to blowing darts?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c442-bc9f-d1db-1d0efbe09607"><span>R “Witches are great at horseshoes, the game. Every time I play with a witch, she has-” L “Decimated you! It’s as if she had a spell on it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 736: L “For years, maybe my entire life, my dream has been to eat cereal while bathing in cereal.” “I love it!” “I’m so happy right now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t play footsie with me in a cereal bathtub.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...when five hundred pounds of cereal are dumped on you in a rapid fashion, you think you might die.” “Who would have thought, but horses eat cereal waste. Makes me look at a horse different now.” “How many people get to say they took a $7500 bath. That’s like a Wesley Snipes kinda thing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Roll out of bed and roll right, my face right into a cereal bowl.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 737: L “How do you misplace a hundred brains?” R “I don’t know. It’s a big university, man! Austin! It’s big. Everything’s big in Texas! The labs are so big, you can’t keep up with the brains!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...the world’s becoming a better place because of ‘Good Mythical Morning.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t steal, people but if you do, give it back.” R “Don’t steal people? Or don’t steal, comma, people?” L “Both! Either!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 738: L “Once you get married, you can reset as much as you want. It’s the same old tune? That’s sad.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c442-ff9d-7dde-13e6595517f3"><span>L “Oh, goodness, Rhett! It’s so adorable!” R “My hand?” L “Can I touch it?” R “Well, that’s a- sure.” L “Oh my goodness! Mm, he’s breathing on me! Nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee! I just eskimo kissed-” R “My hand.” L “What?” R “That’s my hand.” L “Ugh.” R “You can’t feel the claminess?” L “You should probably shave it.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 739: L “Whenever I go across some bridges, they click. Click, click, click, click, click.” “I’ve never been rubbed by an Easter Bunny that I’m gonna admit to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You said a bad word!” (hits Rhett w/ an electric fly swatter) “I love those southern lawyer movies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fa48-ba09-d6a4-08362e140e8d">R “‘Sweaty Southern Lawyers.’ That’s the name of the movie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 740: R “We had a weird relationship back then. We communicated through Maurice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is not about us, it’s about you. Wait your turn!” “It’s a thong-gone flip flop. Get yours today!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c443-2ff2-d773-787ae949127f"><span>GMMore: L “Lurk it up!” “If I’ve learned anything that’s applicable, it’s just add ‘sickle’ on end of anything, like ‘you dumb fartsickle!’” “Alright, you second-hand spore puffs, get the heck out of here!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 741: R "I'ma so excited!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It dances around and it dodges your teeth when you try to chew it, like it's alive." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R<span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9b3-7863-a505-73d36765d7b8"><span> </span></span>“If you go to a party and you end up dancing with jello, it probably wasn't a good party.” “I’m just going, just, straight ball.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 742: R “Keep licking your garbage cans, kids! Is that the application? That probably shouldn’t give any application.” L “And stop leaving your lollipops in my bathroom!” R “Who takes baths, anyway? I can’t fit in a bathtub.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “How are lemons made? Lemons aren’t laid like eggs, are they?” “Waiters crap lemons.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “So don’t make your bed, kids!” L “It’s not moist in my bed.” R “Next time your mom asks you to make your bed, say ‘mom, I don’t wanna die from bacteria!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 743: R “Link, what is your opinion on lizards?” L “I respect lizards, but I do not touch them.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m totally on board with the track suit.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We’re just part of the system now, Link, and we don’t even know it. I’m a lizard.” L “Person.” R “Hybrid.” L “Are you?” R “I’m very tall.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c443-72a3-8286-31c0e5b24118"><span>GMMore: R “Hold on. You wash between your shoulder blades?” L “Yeah, it’s really dirty in there.” R “I just let the water from the shower sandblast that part.” L “Is there sand in your shower?” R “No, but I mean, how dirty can between my shoulder blades get?” L “Well let me look. I’ll tell ya.” R “Unless I was some sort of athlete who grabbed things with my shoulder blades, but I’m not.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Dogsponge.com. Probably exists." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ef-5896-9eb7-8bc0e1cd03ae">L “I have a weak gluteus minimus, but you already knew that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "The sides of your butt are weak? How did that happen?" L "I never use those! I don't know why! I shouldn't have to be defensive." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ef-5896-9eb7-8bc0e1cd03ae">L “I came as close as you would come to saying, cause he sat down right next to me on the thing right next to me, he was as far from me to you right now, and I almost turned to him, I was like, ‘Newman.’” “Just be concerned for me for once.” “Therapy is the one thing I have that is not your thing, Rhett. Now, you want a part of my thing. Therapy’s my thing now. Of all types, I’m not ashamed of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 744: L <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a7fa-391c-64de-82a5edb0e7f7">“I’m obsessed with cereal, 16th century flautists, and of course, peanut butter.” </span>“Just imagine yourself in a peanut field. Close your eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a7fa-6ede-6c2e-fd92f4d29979">“16 16th century flautists.” "He went to Paris and London, we would have never known that without peanut butter!" "I think you might be bleeding peanut butter." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "The fun never ends with peanut butter. Put that on a t-shirt.... and Bill Newman." "I've never cleaned my glasses or my tongue cause I've never had peanut butter on them before." "Your love is like smoke, Bill. I'm inhaling you right now." (singing->) "They don't make pants like they used to." "I could lip sync to that guy for days." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That is the definition of Mythical.” "Can we work with a Canadian, is that legal?" "Is this what it feels like to have your haircut? It's heavy. Is your hair this heavy?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 745: R “I’m a savory man. I like savory things.” (presentation of the Ritz cracker & cheese disc/frisbee) “There’s a lot of crumbs and cheese bits in my bed growing up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 746: R "We don’t have to make everything into hats.” “He’s my blow partner?” “We’re going to be double-layer bubble buddies.” “and Link, if you screw this up, I'm gonna paddle ya."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Actually, cleaning is a form of stress relieve for me. Gives me a sense of control, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Can you make me explode, Morgan?” L “Can you make him explode?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You can’t stand on the sun. There’s nothing to put your feet on.” “Oh gosh, that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” “Anything you swallow will make its way out.” “Milk of Magnesium: Marble Edition.” “We’ve answered a lot of important questions today.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-23e6-116a-14a4-957a488b9210">L “Now, if I swallowed this, what would happen?” “How much money would I have pay for you to swallow it?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 747: L "There are plenty of fish in the sea and it turns out, a lot of those fish are on the internet." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Bikers wanna do more than kiss, man." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a4d-7453-0ab5-2a6cfec3111c">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "I'm into Bonsai." "I think plants and love really go together." "I am very happy and excited to announce the launch of the all new RhettandLink.com, designed using and powered by Squarespace!"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 748: R "And I think that we've got a good shot at being prom king and queen, based on some of the video evidence I’ve seen."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Loungy and lazy Rhett and Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fb0b-5ea0-8a17-cfbc2f8222a3">GMMore: R “Earplugs at night. That’s the number one rule of camping.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 749: R “Sue and Charles made a Link. They manifested a bear-child known as Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’ve always said that the pinnacle of any romantic relationship is when your partner just says ‘ball’ a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “You know you’re at a tough college where you lose your nose.” "Every time I need to pee now, I'm gonna think about an elk."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “When you lose your nose, it makes wherever you are at at that point in life, a bad deal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 750: R “Here’s a diamond answer for you, mythical beasts. Take it and use it, put it on a ring, put a ring on it.” “We called it ‘The Web’ back in 2002.” “I could take 25 minutes to get to the bathroom and then spend 25 minutes in the bathroom.” “It’s a tickle party, really.” “You’re a blubbering fiddle-burger.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Hand diamonds.” “What I would do is called ‘rest up’ before a meeting, i.e. take a nap in your truck.” “Just bloop-bloop yourself whenever you get bored.” (Bored of being bored question) “I think Chunk needs counseling.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’d be enough of a reason to kill ya.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is a woman who laid me like an egg.” “I want to go to the next slurpee pump cause that first slurpee pump attacked me.” “Here’s to Canada, here’s to Pam. Pamada.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4486-cc66-41a6-c12cc7999a0e">Jen “I got attacked by a slurpee machine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 751: L “In college, I would eat a lot of prunes.” “It’s like the budget friendly apricot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4ab9-4686-c026-a92ef51265d2">R “You were like the prune king!” “I’m glad I didn’t know you as a baby.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 752: L “He should be doing yoga from a padded cell not from a barnyard set!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Oh, no, dad!” L “Well, somebody’s gotta wipe the bean off!” Both “Oh, my goodness.” R “I don’t like a personified turd, though. That makes me feel sorry for it when it goes away.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t care about my life! I’m throwing cortion to the wind!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 753: R “'As a kid, were you the strongest, smartest, or quickest kid in the class and at around 16 years of age, maybe all three?' Keep in mind, I knew you as a child and at the age of 16.” L “Well, then you know the answer to this. No, no, no and a big, sad no! I was working nothing at age 16.” R “Okay, this is a bad sign. Maybe you’re not a vampire.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do appliances hate you?” L “That is a good question. I’ve been burnt by a toaster!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c447-8cd6-2bc4-91b05f1b94c0"><span>L “I’m really good at doing things that I could do.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 754: R “Come over to my house, we’re just experiment buddies.” “I became something I don’t. I don’t a skeleton. I do a human. I mean, I am a human.” “Just let the monkey happen.” “You are Howdy Doody.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I became a baby-sized face. I did not produce a Tony Braxton.” “It’s like flesh-mouth.” “Let me see if I can get a beard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You spit right in my left eye.” L “Sorry, you should keep that thing closed when I’m that close to ya.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We should just upload videos of us staring into a camera for 10 minutes and then you could play with us in a slumber party setting.” “Numbers are so crazy to me. I can’t guess stuff.” “..We have no immediate plans to do a live show.., so we’ll think about it.” “Gaming content. That’s something to think about for like a hot minute.” “I would like to go with a new hairstyle.” “I’d like to unleash the forehead.” “My forehead was revealed my entire life, it’s just that now you realize that my eyes are in the center in my head, not in the top of it.” “The Mythical Beasts have spoken. I’m okay with that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I think it’s good to know about other Mythical Beasts...” “I’m usually pretty popular with the moms, that’s surprising.” “You look so much different when you show your forehead.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 755: R “We’re not cultivating an occult.” “I almost laughed at my grandmother’s funeral.” “I have something I call ‘freeze face’, that I never laugh while making this face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “So, who’s going to give us advice?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You can’t push the merch too hard.” “Why are we the bad guys all of a sudden, because you don’t remember something.” “I can smell talent.” “Two tall people mate and get a saint bernard?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-dbfd-0c34-4d10b03589a1">R “Really friendly people with curly hair. (laughs) They’re so playful.” “‘The St. Bernard People.’ It’s a reality show that lasts like 300 years and by the end of it, you’ve got just the weirdest people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 756: R "Don't underestimate this tongue." "Has Flavor Flave ever been here?" "This is what all the smells in the world combined smell like, Link. This is it. We're smelling it for the first time! We're smelling smell!" "The Savory Boys." "You been tasting your kids' feet?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It's like bad gravy, which is a great name for a band." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a59-b0cc-a3c8-fbc680a80c59">"It's like my kids' feet after they've been playing all day in a playground!" <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a59-eb71-285f-55933b88dda3">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "You look like a lunch lady." </span></span>"Your hints are riddles!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 757: L “Stranger than fiction, better than television, y’all!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Prisoners, they got all kinds of time. They play cards all the time. I like to picture ‘em playing Go Fish. Do you have any single white females? Oh, I do! And I recognize her!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c964-3f9c-5b1d-4f99a811ae60"><span>L “Get the dogs away! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get away from the duct tape!” R “You seem like a murderer when you start doing that.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 758: R “Come hither, sleeved one. It’s a little dainty. The sweater and the object.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Did jelly have to come out just cause you poked a jelly donut? Depends on where you poke the jelly donut if jelly comes out of said donut.” “The hat is just me expressing myself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9ca-2646-8444-d5f32a3f9fa7">GMMore: R “I hear somebody saying, ‘Dashel, Dashel, slow down, Dashel! Dashel, I’m gonna take the scooter! Dashel.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 759: R “Worms are lame!” “We’re going to die of heat stroke while trying to start a fire.” “‘Everything coming out alright?’ That’s the joke I like to say when somebody’s using the bathroom. I’ve done it for years.” “I’ve known you long enough to know that you’re gonna pee me right now.” “Get your pee hand off me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“This is what our life has become. We’re sitting out in a parking lot with a bag of our own urine holding it up like this trying to start a fire.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d1-2366-5c2d-422b7dd623e0">GMMore: R “We saw the gates of hell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96d-b364-1cf9-d3b3b57e9d31"><span>GMM 760: L “There’s no spot that glitter can’t got.” “Have you ever seen Wolverine? Well, he can eat my shorts!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 761: R “I agree that for the rest of this episode, whenever you say my name, which is Rhett, I’ll say, “Here! I like beans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 762: R “With a grizzly bear, you’re supposed to play dead and it’s the only bear that you play dead with. If you run into a black bear, that’s when you make noise and get as big as possible.” L “Oh, black bear, big as possible, grizzly bear, play dead.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96d-ec63-91b0-cd37b20bae23"><span>L “‘Meese hate dust.’ That rings true to me.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 763: L “I don’t think we should be as afraid of the Galaxy Invader, we need to be afraid of the lunch lady! Don’t lay down next to a cliff when she’s around.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “My family and I included got a brand new puppy! Mythical beasts, I’d like to introduce you, this is Jade.” “She’s melted my heart and peed on every rug in the house.” “I’m a dog person now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091f-f602-bdae-37ef08d1e28a">R “The McLaughlin’s made a decision that, 2016 we’re getting a dog.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 764: R's sound bath to L: “Link, don’t think, don’t stink, don’t wink, just… Link” At end of episode, “I like beans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L's sound bath to R: “Can’t nobody rain on your charade….You are Rhett, the unburnt, the mother of dragons, closed eyes, full hearts, can’t lose, eat lightning, crap thunder.” “You’ve got to go out into life and find your other T.” After the bath, “If you start your day bleeding from your eyesockets, it’s only uphill from there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 765: R “Check your shoes for spiders, people!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “A masher, in their language, is someone who was like a sweet-talker. Someone who’s like, ‘hey, baby. You live in a cornfield because I’d like to stalk you!’ He’s a masher.” R “Oh, wow, Link. Save that one!” L “I don’t need it! I’m taken! I’m so sorry.” R “Because of lines like that, Link is now taken.” L “I never used that one, but you can have it for free. I didn’t even write it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96e-25b1-ea17-94bdb3441261"><span>Rabbit Lightning: “I’d to crush you under the weight of my love.”</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 766: R "No, it's NASA." L "I don't know a NASA."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 767: R “Austrians don’t like bean bags.” “Get out of here, bruised bananas!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96e-57ec-08e6-0e8a900053a2"><span>R “Naked Canadians.” L “Wilderness. Knives. Seven days. Bonding!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 768: R “Don’t look at me, I’m just a coroner!” “I’ll pee on ya.” “So don’t hold your anger inside! Let it out! COME ON! ‘DO IT! JUST DO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. JUST DO IT! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! JUST, DO IT!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If I ever spontaneously combust, don’t just pat, douse,man. Douse me. with what, what, with any, everything, all things! At this point, I don’t think I would care. And I would also want to save my couch.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-334e-3ccc-ff64-c8b03e9a2645">GMMore: L “This is the best accent I’ve ever done.” “Here’s Link’s unified theory of human spontaneous combustion: It’s not a thing.” “It’s called ‘people burn’ theory.” “Let us know, bo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 769: L “Flace fluids.” “Tip the dip and sniff, don’t snort.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Batman is calling us through this flashlight, Link!” “I’m tipping the dip in the bowl.” “I’m going to die at his hand. We already all know this. He will kill me. He’ll be driving the car that we’re in. Whatever the situation is, it’s going to be his fault.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “That’s how I learned how to live my life as a boy. Reading ‘Boys Life’ magazine.” “Thanks to all the mythical beasts watching from the Netherlands. Here’s three sneezes for you.” “You ever meet somebody that their resting expression was ‘about to sneeze’? And you realize after a while that, that’s just their face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “There’s nothing more satisfying than going over the edge of a sneeze that you didn’t know was gonna happen.” “Failure is not an option. Success is not an option.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96f-99a5-042a-abb11d42ade8"><span>GMM 770: L “You paid the price. Rhett, the haggler. But the question is, how to haggle people for lower prices.” R “Oh, I have no idea. I mean, I don’t know. I mean, don’t ask me! You know me! I pay the price in the window!” L “Rhett pays the price!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 771: L “...the onion is just, it's attacking my soul!" "When in doubt, whip chocolate out.” “I got a pickle in the middle of my burger that is covered in chocolate." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 772: R “Link, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably going to die. And by probably, I mean, you’re definitely going to die.” L “Well, you’ll probably be right there with me, so.” R “Probably.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Bob Hope, always funny. All the way to the end!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “People die of pneumonia, people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you have to say the thing you did right before you die, you didn’t do a good enough [job] to be remembered for it.” R “Oh, I’m gonna say, ‘Good Mythical Morning’ right before I die just in case you forgot.” L “I’m gonna say ‘dictionary’, like, I’m going on record. I am going to say ‘dictionary’ when I die because of this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think my last words are gonna be ‘blaagghh.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 773: L “I have experienced superhuman strength.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Behind the wheel, lots of times, as I’m driving in traffic around here, I almost rear-end people pretty frequently,” R “I can attest to this!” L “and I have to slam on brakes and dodge, you know.” R “All the freaking time.” L “So you slam on brakes but then you’re so close, you’re going so fast that you also have to swerve in order to miss ‘em and everytime that happens, I experience a rush of superhuman arm steering strength! I’m not exaggerating when I say that from the elbow down, there’s a tingling sensation. I have super grip on the wheel.” “I have super steering ability.” R “Okay. I’ll give you that.” “I’ve only rear-ended somebody once and I’ve almost rear-ended about forty people.” R “Totally true!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’ve never been in the service business and I’m beginning to know why. ‘Cause I don’t like vests.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “You learn something new everyday, don’t ya?” L “Well, I’m gonna take a nap, if that’s the case ‘cause I’ve just learned it.” R “Oh! Good!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 774: L “In fact, take Steve Chen, co-founder of YouTube. Back in 2005, he questioned the future of YouTube by saying, ‘there’s just not that many videos I wanna watch.’ Clearly, he did not understand the power of Family Feud bloopers, Russian dash cam footage, and ‘Good Mythical Morning’!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Every time I’m in a plane, I’m like, ‘this is impossible! Think about it! This has gotta be magic!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Food capsules make large warrior women.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What happened, Joe Christmas? You got, like, your walking stick up your butt or something?” R “What?” L “You know how explorers’ll, like, get their walking stick up their butt by accident.” R “Yeah, that happens to me every time I go to the Grand Canyon.” L “Listen, whenever I would be in a bad mood, my mom would say, ‘What? You got a corncob stuck up your butt?’ That’s where I’m, that’s where I was going with that.” R “Here’s to you, Joe Christmas, and a walking stick up your butt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 775: L “And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he’s like, he looks up at him and he’s like, ‘I am a Navy Seal. I will kill you with my bare hands,’ and part of me was like, ‘this is so weird, I gotta paddle out of here,’ but the other part of me was like, ‘that’s the most amazing thing I’ve heard anybody say in person!’” R “How does this answer Darragh’s question, ‘how do you relax with a hectic schedule?’” L “Don’t go surfing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Short-necked, diaper-wearing giraffe gang, that’s what we are! We’re slaying illegal substances for giraffes like heartworm medication.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-6ffd-7b59-67a2dd2e1761"><span>L “So, it’s worth it to take the Ear Biscuits break, I feel like.” R “Mhm-hmm.” L “An infusion of creativity on a narrative front.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 776: R "Points for authenticity. Olivia Newton John's nipple was out the whole time." "At any moment, I may throw up a liter of vinegar onto you." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L (singing) "Nothing left for me to do, except shave your armpit."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "The vinegar is melting your nipple position." "They're backing me off of TUMS." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I will confess that we would not be here if we had not cheated in a contest." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 777: R “If you had to choose between a ninja and a pirate to be your best friend, would you choose the sweaty guy with this weird sort of British accent who’s always intoxicated and trying to steal your stuff or would you choose the totally cool guy who’s always dressed in black, keeps to himself and can silently kill anyone who’s giving you trouble?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Upgrade your tech, ninjas!” “Blackbeard would coil smoking fuses into his beard just for the effect of it. That’s just fun, y’all!” “Your mouth is open wide for the pirate booty.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Ninjas don’t have parents!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-aca2-a308-720626f54a9b"><span>GMMore: R “I’m like Batman!” “I’m gonna make so many ducks!” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 778: L "Question: how do you eat a fart?" "My ex step-father was a plumber and he had a back hoe that he dug ditches with and one time I rode in the bucket and it was amazing." "He was a nice step-father." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 779: R “You wanna have a good time?” L “Buy an electric toothbrush.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “My hand smells like Brittany.” L “That’s the best thing going for you right now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Smells like the bathroom at my uncle’s house.” R “Your uncle does this?” L “Why you need febreze when you just got matches.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What is your go-to pain reliever?” L “Time apart. Just kidding, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If I needed coffee every single morning, you bet your butt I’d be scheduling that stuff. I’d schedule it’s delivery to my mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 780: R “I miss North Carolina so much.” “Caged pumpkins can’t stand up to my deviance.” “So if you see a teen in a truck in your neighborhood, just say no to that teen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 781: R “He doesn’t like the beard. He thinks I’m a threat.” L “I think it’s more than the beard. It’s the total package.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I can’t get a sea lion to kiss my face, but I can get a shark to kiss my foot.” “Ignore the trout! Trout are boring, we all know trout are boring, but merman are exciting!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Do you wash the inside of your ears with soap?” “Turns out the area that you cannot reach on your back is a trapezoid shape.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d4fc-8520-8eaa-351e07acc4b5">L “Yeah. Of course I do. I have OCPD.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 782: R “I hate being shocked. I hate it. I hate it so much.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “It’s amazing how quickly you’ve changed. You were like a cold-hearted animal hater-” L “Well, I’m all in.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I just said 2016 is the year of the dog for me.” “I hate being shocked. I hate it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 783: L “I always associated ambidexterity with just general awesomeness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You also, strangely, this blows my mind, you hold a microphone with your left hand!” L “Yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s not for symmetry, it’s because you’re most comfortable-” L “So I can gesture with my right hand!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What foot do you kick a ball with? Well I personally know and was there and witnessed this that the only two goals you’ve ever scored in your soccer career was with your?” L “Left foot.” R “Left foot.” L “I kick most of the time with my right foot, but I’ve only scored with my left foot.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’ll high five people with either hand, like, there’s no stopping me.” R “Really?” L “Like, if you wanna high me, I can come at it from multiple angles.” R “You have been doing a lot of high-fiving lately, I’ve noticed, which I’m a little concerned about.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-f3b2-68d6-0ef56b02a07e"><span>R “Technically, I text with both thumbs.” L “But if you had to choose one?” R “I could not text with just my left. It’s definitely the subservient thumb. If you asked the left thumb to lead, who knows what I would text! Shh, boy!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 784: L "Proof is in the shoes." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is the place to go if you come back from the future, though. The Time Travel Institute forums. I mean, don't go to the press." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (singing->) “What’s that sound coming from my belt loop? It’s my beeper. Beep, beep, beep, beep. What’s that sound coming from my pocket?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-5fb9-968a-6f76-a20b97148a60">R “If any one of these celebrities were to actually be the time traveler, it would be Nicolas Cage.” “I’ve always wanted to play a soldier in the Civil War. That’s my dream.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 785: L “I can ride with my baby. We be in the kitchen cookin pies with my baby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 786: R “It tastes like I got to the bottom of a chicken bucket and somebody got fired...” “The brain is a muscle. The brain is the most important muscle, boys and girls.” “Look how slow he’s moving. You don’t want to eat a beetle that slowly. Like, you want to put him in there, crunch, crunch, crunch, swallow.” “You’re the man. This is the definition of mythicalness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s a brain stem on it!” R “Well, as you eat the lamb’s brain, you get to live parts of its life. So you could absorb some of its thoughts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Shay, I know we just met, but you’re about to watch me throw up.” “I’m sorry, Shay. I’m usually not this way. Actually I am. Always this way.” “This is like something you would dissect in the third year of medical school.” “Oh! You did it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It smells like a roast turkey. Mmm! Happy Thanksgiving, dad!” R “You want me to be the dad? I don’t understand what’s going on.” L “My dad always carved the turkey.” R “Go ahead, son. Eat it. It’s actually lamb’s brain. Come on son, do it for you dad. Make me proud. Eat that brain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s not prepared. It’s not, it’s food, for what?” R “It doesn’t have to get prepared. What do you want, me to give it a little speech? Hey beetle, you’re about to be eaten! Do you feel prepared? There ya go, I prepared it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, say, ‘I’m a trailblazer.’” L “I’m a trailblazer.” R “Say, ‘I’m a pioneer.’” L “I’m a pioneer!” R “I’m in the future times.” L “I’m in the future times.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Crunch crunch swallow! Show ‘em who’s boss!” Both “Crunch crunch swallow! Show ‘em who’s boss!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c972-3796-2df2-0d624ef34590"><span>GMMore: R “But you ate a beetle. That’s a first on this show!” L “I’ve never eaten a live thing. Period.” Shay “Did you feel a little bad?” L “Yeah, really bad!” Shay “Yeah, I did, too.” L “For myself!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R "The key to happiness is low expectations."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 787: R “I’m popular with the older ladies.” “Go against instinct, Link. Follow that rule in life and you’ll be great.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I mean, it costs 25 grand to kill a human being, but you gotta pay at least 30 grand for a lizard? What world are we living in?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Let the tigers tiger. <span id="docs-internal-guid-eb4174f0-24eb-0f5f-750a-1a88e1bf0968">Let’s put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 788: R “I’m a stanky-planker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Murder-O! Fun Family Fun.” "You have a lot of facial plasticity." "I'm like a blowfish with a broken valve."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "You can't kill too many people in a home invasion." L "...unless that home is a commune."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 789: R “She loves when I call her ‘Kale-face.’” “I don’t know what it is about those Germans, they make good knives.” “I call her ‘Kale-face’ and she calls me ‘Milk-feet.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My life is a pun.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 790: R “I was just in a scary situation being next to you…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L …”because I made it all the way through the movie, and I seemed like a man even though I was shivering in my boots and I was peeing in my britches.” “...told ‘em nothing weird would happen.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 791: R “I can taste the reverse osmosis, Link!” “Too bad I don’t look more like a chicken. That would be helpful.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s cursive, don’t you know cursive?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You never know what kind of ideas a seal can get after watching a show about witchcraft.” “Diarrhea can be cleaned up, but curses cannot be taken away.” “A hall is just a shaft sideways.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 792: L (about video games) “They’re basically books, but better.” “I’m taking issue with your pronunciation of ‘Bjork.’” “Flies can’t start stereos, but mosquitos can.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m taking issue with this being a game and I’m saying that this is a Bjork music video.” “My soul looks like a squished pancake, a square-decorated pancake man? I hope so!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: (lots of quotes)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "My wee hands are now busted." "We are going to do our first ever 'Let's Play' because we didn't know about 'Muscle March' until right now." "I also made a choice to make this peanut butter peppermint lip balm my preparation for all 'Let's Play' videos." "Caution: applying this stuff might make you happier and hungrier." "My lips feel perfectly persed for 'Let's Play.'"(?) "Well, I've got one, so I'm not asking." "This is basically 'Temple Run' for scandal-eclat muscle men." "Her is awesome." "I like a woman in a space station." "Those glutes are waggling!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Link's going strapless again." "Is a wedgie part of the deal?" "I like a woman with meat on her bones." "</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 793: R “He’s so hungy!” “Doggy Daycare by Terrare. They never come back.” “Oh, that’s a food baby if I’ve ever heard of one.” “Don’t eat the bunny, eat the bacon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...and it turns out there’s a bit of a debate as to who’s the ‘hungiest’ man ever.” “Dude ate a child.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “It’s the fluffiest of fluffy parts!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “These bunnies are survivors, y’all!” “Hold on, bunny checking my email. Bunny sending an email.” “You call the right number, we’ll show up at your doorstep with these bunnies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 794: R “So if you’ve got any balls you want people to think are moving, you just change colors real fast.” “Perceptual bias! We should start a band called that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Just flash em!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s like something you put on the side of a yacht if you’re a sad person.” R “Same boat, different destination?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Wanna feel like a man?” L “So your lips smells like peanut butter peppermint and your beard smells like an aeromatic section of the woods.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 795: R “I was convinced I had a dessert stomach.” “A little bit of crunch and a lot of love from me.” “The Hookr, the new competitor to the Dipr.” "This is like me and you in a raft on the Atlantic, just stranded, and we have these hookrs and that' it."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 796: Grace "Is that a thing? Guys like to name body parts?" L “Yeah, like, my arm’s name is Molly, the right one." R "Oh, what? Really?" L "Yeah, my left arm is named Heidi.” R "Why are both your arms women’s names?" L "'Cause I like to hang out with the ladies!" R “That’s literally the funniest thing you’ve ever said. You just peaked with that Molly-Heidi arm joke." L "Really?" R "And I was here for it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "When I'm pumping gas I'm like "Mmm I'd like to drink some of that gas." But I know I shouldn't... and so I don't."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 797: R “Your mom has a way with words.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (referring to velour track pants w/ the word “SUCCULENT” on the butt) “Do those exist? Because I’m in the market.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 798: R “I know none of you care, so I’m just doing it for this camera: SPORTS JOKE.” “Papa was a freemason.” “I’ve always wanted to call myself ‘Big Buck.’” “Who’s to say that there’s not something called a Build-a-Burger?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “MOZART.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 799: R "Peanut Butter flavored!" “What I discovered is that I just bleed and then heal.” "We're going to be pros by the time you start bleeding." “I thought you popped your finger. I thought we just learned that your hands are balloons.” "You gonna faint?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "So we're pleased to announce the 'Rhett & Link Blood Type Kit.'" "I've told this story of, no, of accidentally cutting my finger trying to open a barbie doll a few Christmas's ago and I fainted into my father-in-law's arms at the kitchen sink. Uh, I'm never going to live that down." "See? Look at you, you're the one doing the neck dance!" "Milk it like a teet." "I gotta give you my meat, you gotta give me my veggies." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Nothing ever actually works on this show and it did!" "I was hoping that you were going to be type B so that together we would be BO." "A-OOOO!" "Don't think about me licking." "I think if there's a Tom Selleck in this group, it's me..." "I think Leo would be a bad boyfriend." "She makes irrational decisions like cutting her hair really short. That's something that you would have done back in the day." "She puts out her own perfume, you've thought about that." "I'm a blood genius!""This is a moment in history and it's been captured!" "I discovered I'm a blood genius.""I'm going to put that on my LinkedIn profile: Blood Genius." "Send me a picture, Chase." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "A-OOOO!" "You lick your lips sometimes, it's weird." "I like to walk over fans while wearing dresses." "I like to think of myself as a Tom Selleck type." "I come from a long line of farmers." "She puts it out, she, like, emits it.""I've always thought of John Lennon as unforgiving." "Is Rhett going to go nuts?" "Come close to the Blood Genius." "I don't want to be advisor to the Blood Genius." "The Blood Genius has died."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 800: L (singing) “People come from foreign lands just to stick it to the Stickerman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "'Icesis Whitmore' asks that we find one quote from all 800 episodes." Both: "Good Mythical Morning!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Look at your name. This is to be the spelling of your name for the rest of history: 'L, i, n, g, c, k.' That is how you spell Link." L "'L, i, n, g, c, k. and Rhett, 'R, e, t.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Oh, you're 'Lick and Rhett' on this one." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 801: L "I'm not just a peanut butter lover, I'm an all butter lover!" "I can think of no better butter than butter butter." “Why are you having fun?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Smells like Vegas." L "Smells like a curbside in Vegas." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca1b-df15-4015-76f5243fd1bc"><span>GMM 802: R “...there’s a couple ways to make room for more oysters. I mean, there’s a couple of orifices that I can think of.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’m more of a sausage man.” “It’s for kids and sad people.” (referring to cheese pizza) - submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/NouranMohamedAbdelaziiz">Nouran (The Dough Faced Dolphin)</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I once ate 30 ears of corn, which is not really that big.” “I once ate 55 chicken wings.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 803: R "You mean it gets worse? It gets more yellow. Whoa, look at it. And then it becomes like yellow pudding."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 804: L “How do you get a llama on a surfboard? You gotta make it want it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “How else do you find out if a llama can surf? It’s got to want to first.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 805: Both: “That’s a sick flow.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “There is no finger.” “Always looking for a place to put a finger: Link Neal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 806: R “Boom! Turkey Man!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s like Oprah in here, except it’s goats.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-4a37-bd22-7938-93492151515d">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/NouranMohamedAbdelaziiz">Nouran (The Dough Faced Dolphin)</a>)</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 807: L “I think they made turkloos, which is like igloos made out of frozen turkeys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R ”Helping fat male turkeys is the first known use of the turkey baster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Here’s another fun fact: I have a U.T.I right now.” R “I hope it’s not contagious.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Turkeys love freedom, just like us.” R (making fun of Link) “I don’t skip breakfast on Thanksgiving. Who do you think I am?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 808: R “I’m familiar with the anatomy of a turkey.” “You always kill the guy with the gloves. That’s a sign that he’s got other things that you need.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca2a-106e-c5ab-178dff80a55f"><span>(singing) R “We got a turkey in a trash can.” L “Turkey in a trash can.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore R “You gotta find the meat.” L “Eat the turkey butt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you pull in the right place, the meat will reveal itself."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 809: L “Tongue twisters aren’t broring.” R “Don’t criticize the size of a man’s cob.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore R “Pilgrims loveth the beardeth oil.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 810: R “It’s a Mythical Thanksgiving Connection.” L “I’m thankful for semi-colons, ‘cause they make commas look STUPID!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Smitty and Smutty. That's what we call ourselves when the cameras aren't rolling."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 811: R “She doesn’t need a waffle iron, she just needs to go out back.” “She got a one waffle iron for every inch of crack she showed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Well, that would be Brown Friday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 812: R “I follow Beyonce on Instagram and that was a good choice on my part.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘She went with him.’ This isn’t middle school, these are celebrities we’re talking about.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 813: R “And that’s when she learned, polar bears don’t like Coke, they like woman.” “It’s like the best kids book of all time: What Does Zing Dong Do?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What does Zing Dong do?” “Zing Dong don’t do those things.” “When I’mina scale a fence, sometimes I feel like I need to get naked first just to make sure nothing gets snagged.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “A gorilla could be my co-host for this show.” L “Screw you, man!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Ethics class, with Rhett and Link.""I would die for you. If you were a gorilla, I would not die for you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 814: R "Do you have any tips for me going into this next round?" Miranda Sings "Yeah, don't be really bad." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I'm batting' cling up here." “McPapaRomPom, that’s my artist name.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Miranda "How are you going to get what you want if you don't sit on the man's lap?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That is the currency with Santa is lap-sitting." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I want some fancy panties...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 815: L “If your eyeballs and your nipples are made out of the same thing, you got bigger problems than worrying about the temperature rising.” “Charleston, where it all goes south.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “And then right after I bowl, things get a little weird sometimes.” "Nobody said that you could put boobs in my bird shirt."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "We don't touch teeth from other families."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Jen makes us fight all the time."</p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 667-813tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-07-03:2452419:BlogPost:22914592016-07-03T18:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Jul 3 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-520</a>, …</strong></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Jul 3 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-520</a>, </strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 521-666</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 814-967</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 968-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 667: L “‘The Glass Wolf.’ That’s a good name for a Minecraft account, like, ‘oh, here comes the Glass Wolf!’” R “You playing Minecraft again?” L “A little bit.” R “A little bit on the side, they call me The Glass Wolf.” L “Yeah, I just gave it away. Look for me on the Minecraft servers, The Glass Wolf.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s not mad to fall madly in love with someone, especially if their name is got “the handsome” in it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “He would drench his beard, his clothes, and wall hangings, like everything around him in ambergris.” “It is a solid, waxy, flammable substance of a blackish color produced in the digestive system of a sperm whale. Sounds like it smells great, dudn’t it? Let me rub some of that on my beard!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Fishy and fecal. My two favorite smells.” “You gotta like a man who has distinct tastes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We are proud to say that ‘Good Mythical Morning’ is up for two different Webbys and then our Nerd vs. Geek rap battle is up for another Webby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-357e-64cd-604f8636c71b">L “Let’s be honest. We want to win the People’s Voice Award...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 668: R “Can I see the manager? 'Cause this is hair and, uh, cardboard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’ve swallowed a pill bigger than that before.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 669: R “If we’ve proven anything on this show is that we care about fitness! Have we proven that? I don’t know if we have proven that.” L “Well, we’ve made a lot of efforts!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I think this goes to show you that any woman who’s willing to prance is, uh, she’s on my team.” “I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where I am.” “Do you know how when you’ve been given news so good, that you feel bad, like your body starts to react negatively? That happened to me.” “Something about a woman in a leotard with that much hair, man. Hair that don’t quit!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Sometimes, I don’t understand Japanese things, but I appreciate them with a passion.” “We could bring this back! Chair dancing with tambourines!” “Who would have thought you could have so much fun with two paper plates?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “He had a dream vomit?” “You can’t dream vomit. That is bad new all around!” “Yeah, you gotta sync up with the horns.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-6b38-7be6-77a085aa2505">R “That’s what guys are thinking when they wake up. They’re like, what kind of day is this gonna be in terms of flatulence.” L “Like a weather report.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 670: L "It's like a waterfall of awesome!" </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 671: R “She was so into this idea that she dropped her kid off at boarding school, something I think about all the time.” (both laugh) L “Ouch! This goes out to people, including your own children. You realize that, right?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “G Wagon. G for gangster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Sleeping. They call it ‘the little death.’” “When we move back to North Carolina, we’ll be the rest home tour because we’ll be of the age.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The mythical elderly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 672: L “I don’t care, it tastes awesome!” “If you ate one of these every day, you also would be history.” “I thought I was going to get a cramp under here, which I’ve gotten many times from eating meat mountains.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We need to do this more often. You just talk about things and hand them to me and I eat ‘em.” “This is like going to the Grand Canyon and learning about the history of the Earth, but all I need to know is the history of this sandwich, which was probably you know, 5 minutes at Arby’s. The present is it going into my mouth.” “Another end for my friend.” “Yeah, I’ve dipped my fries into everything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If you’ve never been out here, when you come out here, go to ‘In-N-out.’ It’s like a spiritual experience.” “And the fries are awesome. They turn me into an animal, especially when they’re animal fries.” “Pipe down, Porky! Pipe down, you’re not going to get any of this Dutchman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a4ba-a061-400c-8380ab28b49a">R “Chicken nuggets remind me of the state I was born in, Georgia. It’s why I eat ‘em.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 673: R “We are in Biosphere 1 right now, Link! It’s awesome!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-9958-f597-2f32f3e1827a">L “You gotta have a theater degree to use a rice thresher.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 674: L “A bathroom is never a good place to be surprised…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “And if you’re currently trapped in a port-o-potty, naked, just figure a way out, okay?” L “Just get out of there and don’t tell anybody it ever happened!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You know how sometimes I wanna get out of the house that much quicker? Two things at once. I was peeing and applying deodarant at the same time! Must I spell this out?” R “That’s a fool’s errand, man.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you’re in a marriage that’s been going for 36 years, don’t ask for trouble, man. Don’t see if she’s happy. She’s not.” L “Oh, that is sad.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-f1be-585e-6d77403ad74b">L “Is there something you need to tell us about your quality of your marriage?” R “I’ve only been married for 14 years. My wife’s happy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 675: L "'Slunch', slouch. 'Slunch' is a word now." "This episode's falling apart."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Slunch is what you have in between supper and lunch." "I do not want 'Good Mythical Morning' to endorse men going up to women and kissing their hands." "Today is the last day ever that you will be able to get a 5th anniversary Mythical Shoe."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (reading a fan letter) "P.S. Rhett's super cool and Link's kinda girly." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 676: R “Hey, everybody’s got taste buds on their back.” “I’m a potato lover.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Okay, now that’s like a Jamba Juice practical joke.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You ruined my love life, guys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-bad9-940c-3902-748cd36a37e2">R “It’s like I just took a bite of the Garden of Eden. After the fall.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 677: L “Why am I confused? Mainly because you’re talking to yourself and talking to your hand about voting for Kennedy! This is crazy!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Boy, my family would sit down. We’d have spaghetti with milk.” L “I almost thought about not coming over to your house anymore because-“ R “So milky?” L “it was so milky over there. It made me feel weird.” R “Such a milky environment.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “As a kid, I didn’t drink milk. It was horrible to me, it was nasty. I also didn’t drink water.” “I was a late bloomer when it came to milk, but I’m killing the dairy industry. I’m proping the dairy industry up, and the chocolate syrup industry, and the peanut butter industry, and that is my diet. I wouldn’t drink milk, I wouldn’t drink water. I would only drink coke, and I mean that in the southern sense of any soda. I’m just as healthy as you now.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-341d-193a-a6a860b20904">R “Don’t put Link in your pocket.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 678: R “The one flaw in Mr. Rogers’ character: He sicked a bat at her.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t read anything.” “I dream CDC reports.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-f52d-b066-9ca5-b489eb2c4bee">R “Case report is synonymous for Link’s dream journal at CDC.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 679: R “Hey, buddy. Get a butter bite. Hey buddy, did you get a butter bite?” "Did you get a butter bite, brother?" “I just have a positive attitude about everything.” “Come on, Chipmunk Link. You gotta get it down.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Good for us.” “Look at me, look at how I’m smiling now.” “Who knew flowers were such a nasty, nasty, bad thing." "I'm gonna bite, chew, chew, chew, swallow. Not even gonna think about it."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 680: R “Even if you’re a test tube baby, you should keep watching and take a moment to think about it. You got a momma to be thankful for…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Today, we ask the age-old question.” L “Will it mini-van?” R “Let’s mom about that!” R “Good Mythical Moms!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-648d-a091-c7924f8a3538">R “I don’t know why I’m getting so tickled.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “If there was a butter spray named ‘Rhett,’ I’d be buying it every day. I’ll tell you that right now.” L “Every day?” R “I’d have one every day…’A can of Rhett’….It would be part of daily routine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-795a-3e79-c9da-ecefad5d3d9f">R “I love the smell of wood, man. Can you tell?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 681: R “You guys look like you could be Stampy’s kids! What’s up with that? Hold on. Do we need to talk about something?” Stampy “They just base their hairstyle on who they look up to really.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “These kids are geniuses. They have genes that make them geniuses.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-b583-f460-e34bc5aa6143">R “It’s all down to you, me, and these torches, buddy!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You’re telling me that you’ve called your mom twice in one day?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-812a-fd8c-aed2-fc1844e471d6">L “I have a knack for making things more awkward.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 682: R “Don’t cry, big white fluffy turtle.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 683: R “I’m a pretty messed up dude, so, ya know, I’m good at figuring out which things are messed up and what things are made up by Linkypoo.” “I’ve been Shreked!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I am a model princess, if anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 684: R “I don’t go to the club. Look at me, guys. Come on. Get a grip.” “I’m like, ‘why do we humans do this? Let me go out there and do my Michael Jackson and make everybody laugh.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If it’s not viral, then it has to be alien.” R “Aliens exist. We’ve proved it this morning on ‘Good Mythical Morning.’” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “No one’s weaker than when they’re laughing.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Maybe we should teach a class on Lynda!” L “Boxing and Laughing.” R “Making your opponent laugh. A boxing extravanga with Rhett & Link.” L “Laughing your way to the Welterweight title by Rhett & Link.” R “I’ll be your trainer. With special cameos by Rhett as Link’s trainer.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “So, what are you saying, Link? Next time somebody laughs in your face, punch ‘em?” L “If you’ve been looking for the opportunity, then that’s it.” R “If you want to.” L “If you want to.” R “Don’t punch people, but if you’ve got somebody that you really need to punch” L “Make ‘em laugh.” R “and it’s your decision to do it, get ‘em laughing first.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 685: R “I looked like Lurch.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Do not do the Chicken Dance not matter what day it is.” L “Lop the head off the Chicken Dance.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You get in shape at the prom!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-f1b1-0414-2d0a38a03ff1">L “Oh, yeah, baby! Line ‘em up, knock ‘em down!” R “If you don’t win prom king after this, transfer to another school!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Hello. Welcome to my mouth." "Bobbleheads do anything you want them to do." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Bobbleheads say no. Bobbleheads say yes. Bobblehead be silent." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 686: L “$1.3 million dollars.” R “My butt is not worth it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t touch metal in general because of all the prints I leave on it because of how oily I am.” “I don’t even use a mouse, I use just hand signals.” “We’re men, daggumit.” “...we went into a store and we came out with two book bags and we wore them around the streets of New York City.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “What do you want for Christmas little boy?” L “Santa car?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-8c5e-0f78-3126df85a2e0">R “You just sat in my lap, like I was a car. That happened.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 687: R “Anytime you’re doing something wrong, you gotta look like you’re doing something right. Remember that, kids.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Anyway, I’m just saying, I wish I was a squatter, but if I was, I would do it temporarily. I wouldn’t get caught then I would go live in the mountains.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 688: R “You gonna have to use my hints. My hints are great. I want you to win. I want to carve you in a watermelon so bad.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Celebrities in the eye of the beholder.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You’re one in a watermillion.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link, you don’t talk a lot while you carve. You’re a man on a mission.” L “Well, you know, if you’re gonna talk, I’m gonna listen. You know me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-0040-bd87-8ca0-d99239568cbf">R “I see your mouth and raise you an ear.” “Look at the resembulance.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 689: R (about his beard->) “I imagine it quite often.” “What doesn’t kill the tongue makes the tongue stronger.” “So anyway, I guess you can lift whatever you want with whatever you got.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Never has a tongue hated the man it resided in more than that guy’s.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I want you to be happy." “Teeth make sense because, I don’t know, it justs makes a little more sense to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t think he’s too stupid, just the right amount of stupid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e646-390d-e875-05844fb490bc">GMM 690: </span>R "Let's delve in and dole out."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Any man who looks up 'pookiestick' when he's trying to come up with a word also stalks his ex-girlfriends." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's my ex-girlfriend's name: 'Blankety blank blank.'" L "You also dated 'tttttt' in the past." R "Yeah, I did!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "You see ladies and gentlemen, when you want to crad, you just have to crad a little bit." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Oh, peanut butter Kit-Kat. What? What? What?" "Oh my gosh, guys. This is the greatest thing I've ever had. Hold on, I don't think you guys realize that my life has just changed. This the most amazing thing I've ever eaten." R "Well, you gotta move to Poland now." L "I'm moving to Poland. Point me toward the pole. Here I go."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 691: L “I always recommend having a scuba-certified Noah around.” “Listen to me. If I die, I want you to carry on for about a week, and then I want you to be, like, ‘I can’t do this without him’ and then I want you to quit, but I want you to try for a week without me.” “Cause I want you to prove that you can’t do it without me. I don’t want you to just say, ‘nah, out of his honor, I’m not gonna do it.’” “There’s nothing like looking at a stopwatch and a guy float in a pool for two and a half minutes. This is invigorating.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I bet you GloZell could hold a mean piece of breath.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 692: R “We have transformed the ‘Good Mythical Morning’ set into a kitchen.” L “This is nothing but danger.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I’m always a little frightened by Captain Crunch. I wouldn’t want to spend any time with him.” L “He’s a loose cannon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e626-3b7b-1cee-8781e10f272d">L “It’s not my job to fry the bacon, I just bring it home.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 693: L “You don’t want to know what the road’s witch doctor name is? The knocking beetle.” “Whistling language should never die!” (put that on a t-shirt) “Next time you go to the Amazon, you are gonna want to ask somebody what fat spider monkey’s your breast.” Put that on your smartphone when canoeing down the Amazon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You said Satan. Don’t invoke anything here, Link.” “I’m going to teach my children to only speak in this language. I’m tired of hearing their voices.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If you want to know what it’s like to thump our actual heads, buy the bobblehead.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b45d-fc66-3de2-d58b9d6d3ad1">R “I’m so interested in islands, especially the people just kill ya.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 694: R “It’s like life. You need the absence of light and you need light at the same time. The world of Shadow Puppet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “That’s like a comic book character. Flounder-donkey. He’s got two eyes on one side of his head.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Goblin hands."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 695: R "You got hair back there? He's like a bear...I saw him at the pool one time. I adverted my eyes...Your mom plucks it." (in an accent->) “Do not take me to your office…. Horseman, they call me Horseman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (as Reginold the Hairdresser) "I call it hair topping. It's not a wig. Wigs are for sad people." "I take after my mom who has no back hair, but my dad is like a gorilla back there!" </p>
<p></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9d-3959-9c44-af3e2da6af4b"><span>GMM</span> <span>696: L “Thank you mythical beasts for listening to the arguments. It’s not a popularity contest, even though I know you like me.” “Cats purr at the frequency of a diesel engine.”</span></span> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I should be a catwoman, a cat lady.” “I had a cat named Patches for a couple of days, 'til it had worms coming out of its anus."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 697: L “I don’t care if you call it cola, if you call it soda, if you call it pop, you can call it black liquid that fizzes, for all I care.” “I’m coking with ya.” "Yes, I'm wearing purple pants!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “No one has ever called cola, ‘black liquid that fizzes.’” “Can you carbonate urine? I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It makes me wonder.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "And kids, this is the lesson: Get white pants and get someone to dye them any color you want them so you can shake your booty in 'em and put it up against a spinning wheel." "Teach a child to pull guts out of an animal. Come on, live a little bit!" "I want one of two things. I want sprinkled pants or fried brim, and I want it in the next half hour. Can you make that happen for me?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It tasted like burnt accidents." "I sense that you're on the verge of a lot pain, I don't know what's happening, but it's okay. I'm here for you, man." "I know I can't make you happy in that way, I'm just your friend." "Are you about to cry?" "I could eat a mess of crappie. Just pile it up high."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 698: L “Wouldn’t you be angry if you lived in a chest of drawers? Call me Chester, Chester Drawers.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Have you been texting with boys?" R "Yeah, like, Patrick and Dillion and Schwa-schwa. Yeah, Schwa-schwa's been sending me lots of texts. I'm thinking about going out with him and Dillion at the same time and you can't do anything about it 'cause I'm a strong independent woman."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-f504-d81c-6952-3d59c9d57c66">GMM 699: R “Y’all know y’all wish y’all was me!” "You gotta grease yourself up if you're gonna do this kind of thing. I mean, if you're gonna escape from prison or you're gonna rob a Paesan Pizza, you gotta put Crisco all over yourself." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-21e0-99c1-36c4-c8ca8923d0a3">L “Don’t pee on your only source of sustenance.” "Put Crisco all over yourself!" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Well, if you're duck-sucked, a lot of the time, you get duck-stuck. 'Well, first thing that happened officer is I got duck-sucked. And then right after I got duck-sucked, I got duck-stuck.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I will be upside down for 3 hours for $125,000. I will make that claim right now, I will do that. Any theme park in the world, if you wanna put us on the loop-de-loop-" L "Us? Me? I'm in this?" R "Well, 125,000 each." L "-each."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 700: R “This is what your liver looks like if all you eat is skittles.” L “This is what we can do, Internet!!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (misreading a fan letter) "I love you guys like this presents."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 701: R “All beekeepers should be able to breathe in and talk at the same time.” “Bill, you can’t just handle hand-fulls of bees.” “This is not the first time that Link has worn something that is called, ‘The Scent of the Queen.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Bill!” L “You have outdone yourself!” R “Your bees have outdone themself.” L “Your bees and yourself has outdone itself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-f504-7135-5f1a-e63f01ff7189">GMMore: L “No one wants an orifice pried apart by bees.” R “Period.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 702: L “Me beat you. You make fire? Me make more fire! 84 percentile! Me got heavy eyebrow ridge.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 703: R “I have invented bleachers! Put a field in front of them and you will enjoy soccer for days!” “Bleachers in the SKY!” "Oh, he was on the Wright flyer at the wrong time!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>704: L “I’m in constant fear of tweeting anything. That’s why I tweet so little because my boss might know the truth about me and fire me!” R “That’s right! I look at all your tweets, son!” L “I ain’t got no boss!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Yeah, I’ve never seen a Tinkerbell with a Busch Light before.” “Sometimes, I just get a pack of Cool Ranch Doritos and just lick ‘em and nothing else!” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a horse emoji used properly except for somebody who’s riding one currently, and I don’t follow anybody who rides horses, so.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9e-5772-c6cc-c540f06f6e59"><span>L “I’ve never been able to do a glue factory joke right. The trend continues.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "But, how did I make babies?" R "Well, we can talk about that later." L "Actually, let's not." R "Well, I mean, later, when the camera's off." L "Actually, let's not." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "lynda.com/more. Free ten day trial. Holla atcha boy." (Holla at your boy) "Dude, you're such an idiot." "Don't snap-brag."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I was using the bathroom, number two, and I was snapchatting at the same time." L "Only Anthony Padilla can get away with something like that, man."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's what I look like when I use the bathroom." "Somebody snapped back at me, 'No poo selfies.'" "I grow a red beard and red eyebrows when I poop." "That was a good day on Snapchat."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's so funny, Rhett." L "I can't sit here with you anymore." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 705: R “Alright, well, I’m not doing that much mayonnaise because I’m using my brain today, not just my drill.” “Not the first time I’ve heard that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Now, see the way I’ve done it, I’ve got mayonnaise in every crevice.” “Now’s your moment. You just go down into the description all by your lonesome. Just have a little description time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...I recently celebrated fourteen years of marriage to my wife…” “Is it Mary or Margaret? Make a decision. Just kidding, I love it. I would call you ‘M&M’ if you were my friend.” “It’s not hot.” “You bring crayons, I bring a sword.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-26bc-d4fa-549f-a126de471208">L “I fell for it! Oh, dang!” “See the stuff we get? It’s great to be loved.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 706: R "If I've learned anything, if you squeeze anything hard enough, you get some milk out of it." (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/milliemanagtyde" class="fn url">Millie the Magical Mangatyde</a>) "I feel violated." "That's a good way to describe you." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "The world really opens up if donkey milk tastes good." "I feel so bad for babies right now." "When was the last time you saw a camel hang out with a cow?" "I'm more of a donkey man." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>707: R “Dogs be turning into humans, man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You thought Eddie farted for this game? I don’t want to show that video!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: R “Any time I want to put things in perspective, I watch tortoise mating videos.” “Always regret it, never forget it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9e-d6a9-84f6-74d46792ce45"><span>R “We sat there for four hours waiting for that elephant to crap.” L “That was our taste of nature photography, and I shouldn’t have used the word, ‘taste.’”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 708: R “Get ready to pupate! Are y’all ready to pupate?” “This one involves a cow, a liver, feces, snails, grass, ants, and darkness.” “Everybody get ready to pupate cause we’re doing the ‘birds get ready to eat me’ dance!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Sounds like my senior prom night.” “I’m doing the ‘birds please eat me’ dance!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Cats are such good hosts.” “Because this can also infect humans, there are some people theorizing at this point that this may be what makes a crazy cat lady. Someone who likes the smell of cat urine.” “Nature can be a dark place. Watch your back. Stay inside.” “Y’all get ready to pupate!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-09cf-1c2a-3176-5ee73e1147aa">L “Snails got a raw deal. They’re always like the middle man in some, like, backwards parasitic relationship.” “Snails need their own lobbyist.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 709: L “Look, it’s Randalf the Gray! You shall pass…physics!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Have you seen my cloud swing? Hold on, let me download it. Oh, it’s syncing! There it is.” “You shall comment and like!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-4306-492b-46e4f69ea67a"><span>R “The idea of leaving my kids somewhere for four weeks in the middle of summer? That’s [an] amazing idea!” L “That is a parent’s stunt.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I learned LogicPro when we switched over from GarageBand.” “If my memory serves me, correct me.” (put that on a t-shirt). “I didn’t go to the pool as a kid. That wasn’t my thing. I wasn’t a pool person.” Oh heck, yes, I miss(ed?) my mom. I wanna (gonna?) own that all day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-e2fd-e4b7-fea3-32ecf540081e">R “There’s so many years that we could’ve just camped together and it never happened. I regret that.” “I didn’t poop for five days.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>710: R “Who cleaned up your son’s vomit? Me! I am essentially fathering your children!” “With the Egg Rollie, you can be the fun dad with cylindrical eggs!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like a timelapse of an eggplant growing.” “I did not anticipate the force with which one could be hit with a sub sandwich.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I tell you what it reminds me of,” L “What?” R “but I don’t wanna say!” L “Egg! An egg tower! It’s like a timelapse of an egg tower growing in the forest.” R “No. It’s like you when you got back home from Camp Caraway.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “‘Stinky Linky!’ That’s what my Aunt Viki used to call me.” “I’m the Mythical Boss all of a sudden. This is great!” “I’m just not appetized by what I’ve been watching.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m also the Mythical Boss, apparantly. ‘Rhett McLaughlin’s Mythical Monster Truck Spit Bucket.’ That is awesome!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-7c4e-ad13-99f5031d895b"><span>L “Is it real hot?” R “Is it hot?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 711: L “It’s like an accordion of fives!” R “Somebody hook some sort of battery up to that situation!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-795a-cb1e-6554-7c0eaee89e45"><span>R “I touched stranger hair with my nose!” Mamrie “You didn’t taste it, did you?” R “No!” L “The sad thing is, I thought this was appetizing! Like, I’m like, ‘Hm, it’s something cooked!’” R “Y’all think this smells bad? Smells like something been in a crockpot to me!” L “It’s like a roast!” Mamrie “It’s burnt, but I don’t hate it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 712: L “Kids love gross-out stuff.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 713: R “Yes, I would like to be suggested.” “I don’t know, we don’t know anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We just met, Rhett. Met we just Rhett.” “Solid and rigid and powerful.” “Moving and spinning and turning.” “Well note to self: Don’t do the Bionic arm thingy on anybody ever. You could be arrested for that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Lots of rigid strong arm holding happenings in that episode.” “I don’t know ‘After Effects,’ never have, but let’s say I need to learn that because the qualified personnel who worked with us on our team, who are masters, decide to do, well let’s just say that they take a short vacation…” “If you have to come to somebody’s house to sell something, I know I’m stepping on toes here, then there’s something suspicious about the product.” “When no one wants to go out and get it, there’s something suspicious about it.” “...as a general rule, your suspicion is to be raised when people have to come to you and sell you into buying something.” “(about Howie Mandel->) “We met him in person, he fistbumped us. He would not shake hands.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b981-2f09-0a4b-fef2310cd956">R “...decide to quit.” “You don’t want to suggest to Google.” “I bought 17 vacuum cleaners that way.” “What if what we did on today’s episode was successful and we are both now permanently hypnotized?” “Hypnotisms happen.” (put that on a t-shirt)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>714: R “It has been said that those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. This is why, despite my better judgement, I keep going back to the Sizzler.” “Don’t take shortcuts, you might end up eating people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But, you know, I always say, better eat a friend than a brother.” L “I’ve never heard you say that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This brings us to the question of, if we were stranded and I died, would you eat me” L “Yes.” R “‘cause I’m not rela- okay, good. What part?” L “Yes, that’s easy. Did you think that was going to be difficult?” R “What would you start with?” L “What part? Now, that’s difficult. I don’t know what part, but I do know that I would face you the other direction so you wouldn’t be looking at me. Like, I’m not going to eat your face.” R “You could just cut my head off and it depersonalizes me and then you can play soccer with my head! I don’t care!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Put your videos on laserdisc! Ain’t nobody gonna tape over that!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-a74c-ffd1-98f89319b361"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “I wasn’t intimidated by the guy. I mean, Christy and the door were in between me and him!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 715: L “You can’t have too much fried chicken.” R “Be the hero! Bring fried chicken!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Do you know a bad word that starts with ‘z’?” R “No, I don’t know about that one.” L “Oh, we should make it up. Zork! Zork is a really bad word.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-d30f-e237-09e67278ee70"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “Good work, Rhett. You’re a good taster, man. You’re a master taster."</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 716: R “Thank you to the 12 people who just died.” “Every 6 seconds, Rhett gets another question right.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I call it NASA, that’s actually the correct pronunciation. NASA. It’s a long ‘a’ and then, an ‘ah’ sound.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2378-2812-6bbd-6d208c326a1a">R “First time I’ve heard that: ‘I’ll be Jesus.’ Sure.’” “Buzzer Burger. Hey, man. I’ll take a number 3 combo Buzzer Burger with a side of leaves.” “Those Russian kids, man. We gotta get one of those.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 717: R “That could be us, man. We could be post-humans delivering mail, like, shooting it out of our mouth, however you want it to happen!” “Join us! We’re making the future now! I just came up with that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Aunt Viki has a fake knee.” R “Yeah, she’s a cyborg!” L “Well.” R “Aunt Viki is post-human, man!” L “She’s an awesome woman.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Volcano boarding is real. Put that on a t-shirt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R "You gotta create another rectum.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Well, I have always talked about having a hand that dispenses sauces. Five different sauces.” L “The fact is, it’s true. And the other hand is nuggets pop out of the palm, right?” R “Yeah, one hand is a nugget dispenser and then you’ve got sweet and sour, barbecue, buffalo, honey mustard and ranch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-1fc4-9015-59fcd4e19582"><span>R “He’s got the blue cheese pinky. He got the blue cheese upgrade.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>718: R “And I never understood this whole principal ‘cause I’m too tall for the military. Don’t you want the big people in the military? Don’t you want the big people to come out over the hill?!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “R.I.P. VIP Christopher Lee. If it’s not too late, we can still put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “Welcome to what did you just do to the mic?” “We might have been spied up, ya know, if we had been together, be like, ‘spy duo Rhett & Link. I gotta hire them!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-54f4-8af8-826afd07a078"><span>L “I made the CIA pay for my waffle, man!” R “Oh, man. I should have done that!”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 719: R "Every year, I dress up like Santa and I give out beans and franks cookies." “It’s the bite that keeps biting back.” “Man, it’s like I’m on a rollercoaster & all I do is bite something.” (in a scottish accent) “I’m going to rule you all.” “I will be your king.” “Do you want to be a McNeal or a MacNeal?” "They'll take our lands." "Oh, yes. Scottish Christmas." “Brother Link breaks out the frank & beans cookies...”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Flaming hot wrongness is what’s happening.” "Soggy never hurt nobody." <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9a6-e833-5123-f53c5c35c07b"><span>“It’s kind of Christmasy!” </span></span>"Take me to Scottish Christmas."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0b50-14b7-3a12-e491427dd42f">GMMore: L “Anybody else wanna get a puckerface? Pu-pu-pu-puckerface. Pu-pu-puckerface.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 720: L “Speaking like Yoda. Ask a lot. This question has been.” “I like to play, ‘who burped?’” “Let’s just go with shorts always, dude!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Speedo today, shorts tomorrow.” “Well, chunky soup will put you to sleep, brother.” “We thought, why let everybody ship us. why don’t we just ship ourselves.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You know what, lumos-pumpkin-13, you know what you get the treat of? I’m gonna play my guitar with your face, like a big pick.” “That’s what you have to do in order to work here.” (singing->) “My buddy, my buddy, wherever I go, he goes, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy and me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b981-73f7-3f2d-e28fa7b1f7f2">L “They didn’t make you watch all our videos before you started working here?” “That’s a cool t-shirt if you’re into 80s references. ‘I go diagonal.’ and then it’s an Etch A Sketch?” “‘I go diagonal’ and then it says it on an Etch A Sketch.” “I had Kid Sister.” “A swallowable doll is a genius thing cause that way if you don’t want your friends to play with it, you just swallow it. It’s like, ‘you can’t play with that one, that one’s special.’” “You know how when you have to crap stuff out and the doctor’s like, ‘you need to bring that in.’” “That kid’s got diaper rage. AH!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>721: L “It’s Joyce, right?” Nancy “No, Nancy.” L “Hi, Nancy! Good to meet you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I wouldn’t live in there.” Stephen “In that house? He will eat you alive.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think that based on that, what happened there, Link, I think we’re gonna see turtlenecks and velvet jackets pop up on business cards and real estate agents all around the country!” L “We’re trendbusters.” R “Trendbusters. If there’s something that’s going well, we better make sure it stops. If anybody’s doing it, we’re gonna end that trend real fast!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-8dcb-4008-631dc72fb18c"><span>L “But, we’ll never forget you, Stephen. We will never forget you. We’ll think of you often.” R “If you end up projecting your face on the side of houses, we get a cut of that.” L “Yeah, we’d be very upset to hear that you would do that without us.” R “Could you imagine that? We’ll see him on the news. He’ll be on the front of the real estate magazine: ‘Stephen Biskup. Now projecting his face of the side of houses.’ [It’ll] be like, ‘What? That’s our idea!’” L “Oh, we’ll track him down if that happens.” R “Don’t do it, Stephen.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ee-76ca-92fc-a2a9671441dd">GMM 722: L “Kick the bucket in an unusual way. That’ll give us something to talk about today.” R “Is that a command?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 723: Both “This is a game!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know how sometime when a fly gets trapped in your house, and then it starts getting fatter and slower? What is up with that?!” “They just invite you to come up and slap them…” “I get them with chopsticks. Mr. Miyagi, thank you.” “Double whammy, cold’s bad for grammy!” “‘Bind as a bat’ is a euphemism that is wrong based on wrongness.” “It’s been shown that women who are going through menopause cannot taste bitterness. I’m sure there’s a bitterness and menopause joke in there somewhere, but I’m not gonna touch it. I’m not gonna say anything about that. You can imagine what that joke would be.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...I love carrots, but I don’t like to look like I’ve been spray-tanned.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “See when I start going against everything that I actually think, it works!” R “Do the opposite of what you think and life will be so much simpler!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “How ‘bout this, Link. ‘The Great Wall of China is visible from space.’” L “I’ve heard this and I’ve assumed that it’s true because they always say there’s only two manmade things you can see from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other one is killer punch line that I haven’t come up with yet!” R “We’re great on this show at giving you the structure to make your own great jokes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If I keep this little part of Russia that I snipped off, I can probably wrap it around something later! Maybe around the iron core of the earth when I get that out! Wrap a little bit of Russia around it.” R “That is a great idea! We should start a GoFundMe campaign, or at least a Kickstarter. We want to wrap the extra part of Russia that didn’t make it around Pluto around the center of the earth!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And Putin is on board! That’s our slogan!” L “Putin on board. Put that on any car you’re in, too.” R “Putin on board. Wow! That’s the best idea we’ve had in months!” L “Sadly, yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When was the last time you ate a apple and you were like, ‘man! that was a good apple!’? Doesn’t happen.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s a better Kickstarter. We would like to MRI a polar bear. Putin is on board!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>724: L “Believe the Dachshund.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’d wanna watch you be abducted as I was pulling away in my lumberjack truck.” R “We need a guy with a GoPro to get abducted.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If we come in contact with aliens, we’re gonna know it! ‘District 9,’ ‘Independence Day,’ that kind of situation. Get ready for it, guys!” “Stephen Hawking says we shouldn’t want them to come ‘cause Stephen Hawking says that it’s unwise to think they would be friendly. I don’t really care. I think it’d be cool. Even if they were crazy mean and we have to fight an epic battle against them, it’s still gonna be awesome.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What would it take for you to believe?” L “I’d have to be probed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>725: L “Wow. That evoked a lot of emotions and I’m gonna ignore all of ‘em.” “I’m connected to you via what you’re eating, which is disturbing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you’re gonna go savory, don’t go halfway to savory town, go all the way and be the mayor!” L “You’re the president of savory city.” R “Well, the mayor is what I was thinking.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I will be wearing my clean three-piece carpet suit to all formal events for the remainder of 2015, so look for me there, at all your proms that have already happened.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Rhett & Link bookends and you separate us with knowledge, the knowledge from books.” R “What does that represent?” L “It represents-“ R “The knowledge in between us.” L “The more books we read, the further apart we grow, Rhett.” R “Okay, that’s what it means!” L “Which is why I never read!” R “And that’s why you shouldn’t read, kids!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t play with fire, adults!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How not to Sterno with Rhett & Link!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is a new that we’ve invented called-“ R “Hey, look, I got a meatball!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 726: L “Now, we’re no strangers to eating meat products. We are meat lovers…” “My mom owned seven donkeys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Man, turkey is confusing sometimes.” “You donkey lipped a sandwich? ‘Hold on. Let me donkey lip this.’” “I don’t hang out with donkeys.” “Don’t donkey lip on a first date.” “‘Mushy Bun.’ That’s my favorite kind of music. Have you heard ‘Mushy Bun’? Ah, it’s so good.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We got to rejuvenate. When we come back, we’re gonna be like glowing. It’ll be like we’re pregnant.” R “Oh, we’re gonna be so tan.” L “And pregnant. I plan on being, pregnatizing myself. I gotta do some research. It’s gonna take like three weeks to figure it out. I’ll need that glow. I need that pregnancy glow.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-bada-0d8f-8d72-85f3222aec3d">R “Blend it friend it. Blend it and make it splendid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m sproud of myself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 727: R “Say no to cavity searches, say yes to flight!” “If you believe in freedom, you believe in flight.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Freedom. Flight. Forever. Farmers Only dot com! Not a sponsor.” L “Wow. I’m glad I’m not you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Why, how and when did Harry Potter find the sorcerer’s stone? He found it from the invisibility cloak, man! The one ring, what power did it give Frodo? Invisibility. Casper the Friendly Ghost is so friendly. Why? Because he’s invisible! My best friend in Kindergarten, invisible! These are the people that I want to hang out with! These are the heroes I want to emulate!” Eddie “Mr. Link. Please, calm down.” L “Oh, I’m fine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I don’t have the power of pronunciation.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I can put fanny packs all up and down my legs.” “The Fanny Flyer.” “Whenever I feel down, I’m just gonna go up, up, up, and away into the sky…” “Flight is right tonight!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 728: R “We’ve got to avoid the microphone ears!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Where’s are dee blankets?” L “Where zee meelk cahns?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you’ve ever escaped from prison, in any form, send us a postcard! We wanna be the repository for prison escapee postcard-ists.” “Please pretend pies push people past pretend places.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Penelope praises Paul particularly passionately pretty-” R “We may have found Link’s gift!” L “past-” R “Maybe not.” L “pookie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I ran seven miles this weekend because of the books that I was listening to.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 729: R “Feel all over it.” “I think it’s a Christmas ornament.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It smells like if a teddy bear soiled itself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Bill “Who comes up with these things?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Bill “But I lost my dignity, that’s the problem.” L “We lost ours years ago.” Bill “Bound to happen sooner or later.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do Link!” Bill “Do what I say! You do what I say, I am from North Carolina!” R “Yeah. Thanks for explaining my world to everybody.” Bill “Do what I say, stretch!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Bill “I know you guys don’t do your show in the same room. People at home don’t know about that. You are in North Carolina and you are in prison!” “Link’s like, all girls wear pants!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 730: L “...this one is the mailbox of the future. I am calling it ‘The Robobox’ and it’s got a little remote because in the future, you ain’t got to go to your mailbox to get your mail. Your mailbox comes to you, man!” “That’s what happens in the future. You gotta go back to the cassettes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Sometimes I need my battery charged.” “You’re a genius, Link!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You’re so dangerous!” R “I’ve never broken anything, man. I don’t break things. That’s not my deal.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m Indiana Jones! North Carolina McLaughlin, that’s what [I] should have been!” “Think about all the things we can grab though!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Step 1: get a whip. Step 2: whip it out!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 731: R “I’m very worried with what’s happening with your body right now.” “It’s pretty difficult being next to a man behaving this way and not begin to vomit.” “This is so unscientific.” “The idea behind that one is that the peppermint or the menthol flavor will cancel out the burning sensation of the capsaicin from the pepper. There’s an asterisk next to that. It says, ‘Eddie made this up.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I seriously love peanut butter so much that I’m finding emotional comfort in eating it. Like, you’re coming through for me again, lady.” R “Why is it a lady?” L “‘Cause she treats me right.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The sound you make when you vomit. It’s so guttural, man!” L “Yeah, that’s where it comes from.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “So if you eat a hot pepper, don’t go brush your teeth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Dance out of frame.’ Oh, what a great way to end the season!” L “Oh, this is poetic!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “That’s called bonding.” “I am so sorry, Lizzie. Ew, that is so gross. I’ve never blown my nose on anybody.” Lizzie “I think I have. It’s fine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re like a bear Yellowstone, man.” “Smokeless the bear. Smokish.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-b717-1816-de51-9cd7182a286d"><span>L “We’ll be back, guys. Don’t forget about us.” (Eddie burps)</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON EIGHT</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 732: R “Link, the cat eats the rabbit. Put that in a children’s book! The cat eats the rabbit, kids. Makes the world go round. Circle of life.” “Y’all got some al-gee wafers? I like it with whole milk! Right after I get through with my Grape Nuts, I move right on to my al-gee wafers. Part of a complete breakfast. Al-gee wafers.” “I could be a bird. That’s what I’ve learned. I like birds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I got a big ol’ meatball in my mouth. Chef Boyardee come to town.” “Again, if it was warmed up and came out of a can at my grandma’s house, I might be game. But, as-is, man, this is like a bad, bad Beanie Weenie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Now that I’m starting to develop theories, I’m starting to gag.” R “I’m developing theories, and that always makes me queasy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Here’s to season 8, guys! We’re still doing this! We’re not letting up for nothing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Okay. I’m done eating. Forever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 733: R “It’s called the exo-underwear-skeleton.” “Oh wow, it’s like a cat got out of a dumpster.” “Are you a hermit that watches ‘Good Mythical Morning’?” “She’s such a gossip. I hate her.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A massage from Chase is not under the ‘best’ category.” “If so, leave a hand signal down below!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “When in doubt, get out.” “Do I have to spell out how weird it can get?” “The swell was huge and my sessions were enduring.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You gotta go all the way to ‘I hate her.” “He made us a freakin ‘Good Mythical Morning’ skateboard.” “If that’s not mythical, I don’t know what is.” “You never heard of the Whisper 2000?!?” “He cried one cashew.” “Once you break the 12 second barrier, I’m gonna start prying your hands off of me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4486-62b5-67c1-0ed5e6da7f72">Stevie “I feel like you two could talk like that for hours!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 734: R “That’s where he keeps his pocketknife, in his pocket ‘cause he’s from South Carolina and they do things right down there.” “Sampson Parker, man.” “Even better ‘cause there was a combine, it was in South Carolina, there was a fire. That’s way better than James Franco in a canyon in Utah!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is like a stupid circus act!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Ain’t no tonsils in there, ain’t no boulders in the back!” “Why we gotta cut? That’s the best part!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 735: L “That one smells like hurt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m not weak, I’m?” L “I’m strong!” R “And if I’m strong, I have a lot of?” L “Scent!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Santa Monica?” L “Yacht club.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Sure will be nice when they make this road four lanes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Washington, D.C. What are the chances.” (singing) “I believe in luck.” “I hate witches, man. I hate ‘em. Especially when I’m playing with them at horseshoes.” “I like the smell of leather.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Kiss the luck. Slurping up all the luck!” R “Why don’t you just stick to blowing darts?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c442-bc9f-d1db-1d0efbe09607"><span>R “Witches are great at horseshoes, the game. Every time I play with a witch, she has-” L “Decimated you! It’s as if she had a spell on it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 736: L “For years, maybe my entire life, my dream has been to eat cereal while bathing in cereal.” “I love it!” “I’m so happy right now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t play footsie with me in a cereal bathtub.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...when five hundred pounds of cereal are dumped on you in a rapid fashion, you think you might die.” “Who would have thought, but horses eat cereal waste. Makes me look at a horse different now.” “How many people get to say they took a $7500 bath. That’s like a Wesley Snipes kinda thing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Roll out of bed and roll right, my face right into a cereal bowl.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 737: L “How do you misplace a hundred brains?” R “I don’t know. It’s a big university, man! Austin! It’s big. Everything’s big in Texas! The labs are so big, you can’t keep up with the brains!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...the world’s becoming a better place because of ‘Good Mythical Morning.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t steal, people but if you do, give it back.” R “Don’t steal people? Or don’t steal, comma, people?” L “Both! Either!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 738: L “Once you get married, you can reset as much as you want. It’s the same old tune? That’s sad.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c442-ff9d-7dde-13e6595517f3"><span>L “Oh, goodness, Rhett! It’s so adorable!” R “My hand?” L “Can I touch it?” R “Well, that’s a- sure.” L “Oh my goodness! Mm, he’s breathing on me! Nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee! I just eskimo kissed-” R “My hand.” L “What?” R “That’s my hand.” L “Ugh.” R “You can’t feel the claminess?” L “You should probably shave it.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 739: L “Whenever I go across some bridges, they click. Click, click, click, click, click.” “I’ve never been rubbed by an Easter Bunny that I’m gonna admit to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You said a bad word!” (hits Rhett w/ an electric fly swatter) “I love those southern lawyer movies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fa48-ba09-d6a4-08362e140e8d">R “‘Sweaty Southern Lawyers.’ That’s the name of the movie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 740: R “We had a weird relationship back then. We communicated through Maurice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is not about us, it’s about you. Wait your turn!” “It’s a thong-gone flip flop. Get yours today!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c443-2ff2-d773-787ae949127f"><span>GMMore: L “Lurk it up!” “If I’ve learned anything that’s applicable, it’s just add ‘sickle’ on end of anything, like ‘you dumb fartsickle!’” “Alright, you second-hand spore puffs, get the heck out of here!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 741: R "I'ma so excited!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It dances around and it dodges your teeth when you try to chew it, like it's alive." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R<span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9b3-7863-a505-73d36765d7b8"><span> </span></span>“If you go to a party and you end up dancing with jello, it probably wasn't a good party.” “I’m just going, just, straight ball.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 742: R “Keep licking your garbage cans, kids! Is that the application? That probably shouldn’t give any application.” L “And stop leaving your lollipops in my bathroom!” R “Who takes baths, anyway? I can’t fit in a bathtub.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “How are lemons made? Lemons aren’t laid like eggs, are they?” “Waiters crap lemons.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “So don’t make your bed, kids!” L “It’s not moist in my bed.” R “Next time your mom asks you to make your bed, say ‘mom, I don’t wanna die from bacteria!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 743: R “Link, what is your opinion on lizards?” L “I respect lizards, but I do not touch them.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m totally on board with the track suit.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We’re just part of the system now, Link, and we don’t even know it. I’m a lizard.” L “Person.” R “Hybrid.” L “Are you?” R “I’m very tall.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c443-72a3-8286-31c0e5b24118"><span>GMMore: R “Hold on. You wash between your shoulder blades?” L “Yeah, it’s really dirty in there.” R “I just let the water from the shower sandblast that part.” L “Is there sand in your shower?” R “No, but I mean, how dirty can between my shoulder blades get?” L “Well let me look. I’ll tell ya.” R “Unless I was some sort of athlete who grabbed things with my shoulder blades, but I’m not.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Dogsponge.com. Probably exists." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ef-5896-9eb7-8bc0e1cd03ae">L “I have a weak gluteus minimus, but you already knew that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "The sides of your butt are weak? How did that happen?" L "I never use those! I don't know why! I shouldn't have to be defensive." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ef-5896-9eb7-8bc0e1cd03ae">L “I came as close as you would come to saying, cause he sat down right next to me on the thing right next to me, he was as far from me to you right now, and I almost turned to him, I was like, ‘Newman.’” “Just be concerned for me for once.” “Therapy is the one thing I have that is not your thing, Rhett. Now, you want a part of my thing. Therapy’s my thing now. Of all types, I’m not ashamed of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 744: L <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a7fa-391c-64de-82a5edb0e7f7">“I’m obsessed with cereal, 16th century flautists, and of course, peanut butter.” </span>“Just imagine yourself in a peanut field. Close your eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a7fa-6ede-6c2e-fd92f4d29979">“16 16th century flautists.” "He went to Paris and London, we would have never known that without peanut butter!" "I think you might be bleeding peanut butter." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "The fun never ends with peanut butter. Put that on a t-shirt.... and Bill Newman." "I've never cleaned my glasses or my tongue cause I've never had peanut butter on them before." "Your love is like smoke, Bill. I'm inhaling you right now." (singing->) "They don't make pants like they used to." "I could lip sync to that guy for days." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That is the definition of Mythical.” "Can we work with a Canadian, is that legal?" "Is this what it feels like to have your haircut? It's heavy. Is your hair this heavy?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 745: R “I’m a savory man. I like savory things.” (presentation of the Ritz cracker & cheese disc/frisbee) “There’s a lot of crumbs and cheese bits in my bed growing up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 746: R "We don’t have to make everything into hats.” “He’s my blow partner?” “We’re going to be double-layer bubble buddies.” “and Link, if you screw this up, I'm gonna paddle ya."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Actually, cleaning is a form of stress relieve for me. Gives me a sense of control, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Can you make me explode, Morgan?” L “Can you make him explode?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You can’t stand on the sun. There’s nothing to put your feet on.” “Oh gosh, that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” “Anything you swallow will make its way out.” “Milk of Magnesium: Marble Edition.” “We’ve answered a lot of important questions today.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-23e6-116a-14a4-957a488b9210">L “Now, if I swallowed this, what would happen?” “How much money would I have pay for you to swallow it?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 747: L "There are plenty of fish in the sea and it turns out, a lot of those fish are on the internet." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Bikers wanna do more than kiss, man." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a4d-7453-0ab5-2a6cfec3111c">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "I'm into Bonsai." "I think plants and love really go together." "I am very happy and excited to announce the launch of the all new RhettandLink.com, designed using and powered by Squarespace!"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 748: R "And I think that we've got a good shot at being prom king and queen, based on some of the video evidence I’ve seen."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Loungy and lazy Rhett and Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fb0b-5ea0-8a17-cfbc2f8222a3">GMMore: R “Earplugs at night. That’s the number one rule of camping.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 749: R “Sue and Charles made a Link. They manifested a bear-child known as Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’ve always said that the pinnacle of any romantic relationship is when your partner just says ‘ball’ a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “You know you’re at a tough college where you lose your nose.” "Every time I need to pee now, I'm gonna think about an elk."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “When you lose your nose, it makes wherever you are at at that point in life, a bad deal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 750: R “Here’s a diamond answer for you, mythical beasts. Take it and use it, put it on a ring, put a ring on it.” “We called it ‘The Web’ back in 2002.” “I could take 25 minutes to get to the bathroom and then spend 25 minutes in the bathroom.” “It’s a tickle party, really.” “You’re a blubbering fiddle-burger.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Hand diamonds.” “What I would do is called ‘rest up’ before a meeting, i.e. take a nap in your truck.” “Just bloop-bloop yourself whenever you get bored.” (Bored of being bored question) “I think Chunk needs counseling.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’d be enough of a reason to kill ya.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is a woman who laid me like an egg.” “I want to go to the next slurpee pump cause that first slurpee pump attacked me.” “Here’s to Canada, here’s to Pam. Pamada.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4486-cc66-41a6-c12cc7999a0e">Jen “I got attacked by a slurpee machine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 751: L “In college, I would eat a lot of prunes.” “It’s like the budget friendly apricot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4ab9-4686-c026-a92ef51265d2">R “You were like the prune king!” “I’m glad I didn’t know you as a baby.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 752: L “He should be doing yoga from a padded cell not from a barnyard set!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Oh, no, dad!” L “Well, somebody’s gotta wipe the bean off!” Both “Oh, my goodness.” R “I don’t like a personified turd, though. That makes me feel sorry for it when it goes away.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t care about my life! I’m throwing cortion to the wind!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 753: R “'As a kid, were you the strongest, smartest, or quickest kid in the class and at around 16 years of age, maybe all three?' Keep in mind, I knew you as a child and at the age of 16.” L “Well, then you know the answer to this. No, no, no and a big, sad no! I was working nothing at age 16.” R “Okay, this is a bad sign. Maybe you’re not a vampire.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do appliances hate you?” L “That is a good question. I’ve been burnt by a toaster!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c447-8cd6-2bc4-91b05f1b94c0"><span>L “I’m really good at doing things that I could do.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 754: R “Come over to my house, we’re just experiment buddies.” “I became something I don’t. I don’t a skeleton. I do a human. I mean, I am a human.” “Just let the monkey happen.” “You are Howdy Doody.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I became a baby-sized face. I did not produce a Tony Braxton.” “It’s like flesh-mouth.” “Let me see if I can get a beard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You spit right in my left eye.” L “Sorry, you should keep that thing closed when I’m that close to ya.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We should just upload videos of us staring into a camera for 10 minutes and then you could play with us in a slumber party setting.” “Numbers are so crazy to me. I can’t guess stuff.” “..We have no immediate plans to do a live show.., so we’ll think about it.” “Gaming content. That’s something to think about for like a hot minute.” “I would like to go with a new hairstyle.” “I’d like to unleash the forehead.” “My forehead was revealed my entire life, it’s just that now you realize that my eyes are in the center in my head, not in the top of it.” “The Mythical Beasts have spoken. I’m okay with that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I think it’s good to know about other Mythical Beasts...” “I’m usually pretty popular with the moms, that’s surprising.” “You look so much different when you show your forehead.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 755: R “We’re not cultivating an occult.” “I almost laughed at my grandmother’s funeral.” “I have something I call ‘freeze face’, that I never laugh while making this face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “So, who’s going to give us advice?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You can’t push the merch too hard.” “Why are we the bad guys all of a sudden, because you don’t remember something.” “I can smell talent.” “Two tall people mate and get a saint bernard?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-dbfd-0c34-4d10b03589a1">R “Really friendly people with curly hair. (laughs) They’re so playful.” “‘The St. Bernard People.’ It’s a reality show that lasts like 300 years and by the end of it, you’ve got just the weirdest people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 756: R "Don't underestimate this tongue." "Has Flavor Flave ever been here?" "This is what all the smells in the world combined smell like, Link. This is it. We're smelling it for the first time! We're smelling smell!" "The Savory Boys." "You been tasting your kids' feet?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It's like bad gravy, which is a great name for a band." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a59-b0cc-a3c8-fbc680a80c59">"It's like my kids' feet after they've been playing all day in a playground!" <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a59-eb71-285f-55933b88dda3">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "You look like a lunch lady." </span></span>"Your hints are riddles!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 757: L “Stranger than fiction, better than television, y’all!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Prisoners, they got all kinds of time. They play cards all the time. I like to picture ‘em playing Go Fish. Do you have any single white females? Oh, I do! And I recognize her!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c964-3f9c-5b1d-4f99a811ae60"><span>L “Get the dogs away! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get away from the duct tape!” R “You seem like a murderer when you start doing that.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 758: R “Come hither, sleeved one. It’s a little dainty. The sweater and the object.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Did jelly have to come out just cause you poked a jelly donut? Depends on where you poke the jelly donut if jelly comes out of said donut.” “The hat is just me expressing myself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9ca-2646-8444-d5f32a3f9fa7">GMMore: R “I hear somebody saying, ‘Dashel, Dashel, slow down, Dashel! Dashel, I’m gonna take the scooter! Dashel.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 759: R “Worms are lame!” “We’re going to die of heat stroke while trying to start a fire.” “‘Everything coming out alright?’ That’s the joke I like to say when somebody’s using the bathroom. I’ve done it for years.” “I’ve known you long enough to know that you’re gonna pee me right now.” “Get your pee hand off me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“This is what our life has become. We’re sitting out in a parking lot with a bag of our own urine holding it up like this trying to start a fire.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d1-2366-5c2d-422b7dd623e0">GMMore: R “We saw the gates of hell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96d-b364-1cf9-d3b3b57e9d31"><span>GMM 760: L “There’s no spot that glitter can’t got.” “Have you ever seen Wolverine? Well, he can eat my shorts!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 761: R “I agree that for the rest of this episode, whenever you say my name, which is Rhett, I’ll say, “Here! I like beans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 762: R “With a grizzly bear, you’re supposed to play dead and it’s the only bear that you play dead with. If you run into a black bear, that’s when you make noise and get as big as possible.” L “Oh, black bear, big as possible, grizzly bear, play dead.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96d-ec63-91b0-cd37b20bae23"><span>L “‘Meese hate dust.’ That rings true to me.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 763: L “I don’t think we should be as afraid of the Galaxy Invader, we need to be afraid of the lunch lady! Don’t lay down next to a cliff when she’s around.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “My family and I included got a brand new puppy! Mythical beasts, I’d like to introduce you, this is Jade.” “She’s melted my heart and peed on every rug in the house.” “I’m a dog person now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091f-f602-bdae-37ef08d1e28a">R “The McLaughlin’s made a decision that, 2016 we’re getting a dog.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 764: R's sound bath to L: “Link, don’t think, don’t stink, don’t wink, just… Link” At end of episode, “I like beans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L's sound bath to R: “Can’t nobody rain on your charade….You are Rhett, the unburnt, the mother of dragons, closed eyes, full hearts, can’t lose, eat lightning, crap thunder.” “You’ve got to go out into life and find your other T.” After the bath, “If you start your day bleeding from your eyesockets, it’s only uphill from there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 765: R “Check your shoes for spiders, people!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “A masher, in their language, is someone who was like a sweet-talker. Someone who’s like, ‘hey, baby. You live in a cornfield because I’d like to stalk you!’ He’s a masher.” R “Oh, wow, Link. Save that one!” L “I don’t need it! I’m taken! I’m so sorry.” R “Because of lines like that, Link is now taken.” L “I never used that one, but you can have it for free. I didn’t even write it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96e-25b1-ea17-94bdb3441261"><span>Rabbit Lightning: “I’d to crush you under the weight of my love.”</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 766: R "No, it's NASA." L "I don't know a NASA."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 767: R “Austrians don’t like bean bags.” “Get out of here, bruised bananas!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96e-57ec-08e6-0e8a900053a2"><span>R “Naked Canadians.” L “Wilderness. Knives. Seven days. Bonding!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 768: R “Don’t look at me, I’m just a coroner!” “I’ll pee on ya.” “So don’t hold your anger inside! Let it out! COME ON! ‘DO IT! JUST DO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. JUST DO IT! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! JUST, DO IT!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If I ever spontaneously combust, don’t just pat, douse,man. Douse me. with what, what, with any, everything, all things! At this point, I don’t think I would care. And I would also want to save my couch.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-334e-3ccc-ff64-c8b03e9a2645">GMMore: L “This is the best accent I’ve ever done.” “Here’s Link’s unified theory of human spontaneous combustion: It’s not a thing.” “It’s called ‘people burn’ theory.” “Let us know, bo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 769: L “Flace fluids.” “Tip the dip and sniff, don’t snort.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Batman is calling us through this flashlight, Link!” “I’m tipping the dip in the bowl.” “I’m going to die at his hand. We already all know this. He will kill me. He’ll be driving the car that we’re in. Whatever the situation is, it’s going to be his fault.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “That’s how I learned how to live my life as a boy. Reading ‘Boys Life’ magazine.” “Thanks to all the mythical beasts watching from the Netherlands. Here’s three sneezes for you.” “You ever meet somebody that their resting expression was ‘about to sneeze’? And you realize after a while that, that’s just their face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “There’s nothing more satisfying than going over the edge of a sneeze that you didn’t know was gonna happen.” “Failure is not an option. Success is not an option.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96f-99a5-042a-abb11d42ade8"><span>GMM 770: L “You paid the price. Rhett, the haggler. But the question is, how to haggle people for lower prices.” R “Oh, I have no idea. I mean, I don’t know. I mean, don’t ask me! You know me! I pay the price in the window!” L “Rhett pays the price!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 771: L “...the onion is just, it's attacking my soul!" "When in doubt, whip chocolate out.” “I got a pickle in the middle of my burger that is covered in chocolate." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 772: R “Link, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably going to die. And by probably, I mean, you’re definitely going to die.” L “Well, you’ll probably be right there with me, so.” R “Probably.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Bob Hope, always funny. All the way to the end!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “People die of pneumonia, people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you have to say the thing you did right before you die, you didn’t do a good enough [job] to be remembered for it.” R “Oh, I’m gonna say, ‘Good Mythical Morning’ right before I die just in case you forgot.” L “I’m gonna say ‘dictionary’, like, I’m going on record. I am going to say ‘dictionary’ when I die because of this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think my last words are gonna be ‘blaagghh.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 773: L “I have experienced superhuman strength.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Behind the wheel, lots of times, as I’m driving in traffic around here, I almost rear-end people pretty frequently,” R “I can attest to this!” L “and I have to slam on brakes and dodge, you know.” R “All the freaking time.” L “So you slam on brakes but then you’re so close, you’re going so fast that you also have to swerve in order to miss ‘em and everytime that happens, I experience a rush of superhuman arm steering strength! I’m not exaggerating when I say that from the elbow down, there’s a tingling sensation. I have super grip on the wheel.” “I have super steering ability.” R “Okay. I’ll give you that.” “I’ve only rear-ended somebody once and I’ve almost rear-ended about forty people.” R “Totally true!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’ve never been in the service business and I’m beginning to know why. ‘Cause I don’t like vests.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “You learn something new everyday, don’t ya?” L “Well, I’m gonna take a nap, if that’s the case ‘cause I’ve just learned it.” R “Oh! Good!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 774: L “In fact, take Steve Chen, co-founder of YouTube. Back in 2005, he questioned the future of YouTube by saying, ‘there’s just not that many videos I wanna watch.’ Clearly, he did not understand the power of Family Feud bloopers, Russian dash cam footage, and ‘Good Mythical Morning’!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Every time I’m in a plane, I’m like, ‘this is impossible! Think about it! This has gotta be magic!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Food capsules make large warrior women.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What happened, Joe Christmas? You got, like, your walking stick up your butt or something?” R “What?” L “You know how explorers’ll, like, get their walking stick up their butt by accident.” R “Yeah, that happens to me every time I go to the Grand Canyon.” L “Listen, whenever I would be in a bad mood, my mom would say, ‘What? You got a corncob stuck up your butt?’ That’s where I’m, that’s where I was going with that.” R “Here’s to you, Joe Christmas, and a walking stick up your butt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 775: L “And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he’s like, he looks up at him and he’s like, ‘I am a Navy Seal. I will kill you with my bare hands,’ and part of me was like, ‘this is so weird, I gotta paddle out of here,’ but the other part of me was like, ‘that’s the most amazing thing I’ve heard anybody say in person!’” R “How does this answer Darragh’s question, ‘how do you relax with a hectic schedule?’” L “Don’t go surfing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Short-necked, diaper-wearing giraffe gang, that’s what we are! We’re slaying illegal substances for giraffes like heartworm medication.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-6ffd-7b59-67a2dd2e1761"><span>L “So, it’s worth it to take the Ear Biscuits break, I feel like.” R “Mhm-hmm.” L “An infusion of creativity on a narrative front.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 776: R "Points for authenticity. Olivia Newton John's nipple was out the whole time." "At any moment, I may throw up a liter of vinegar onto you." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L (singing) "Nothing left for me to do, except shave your armpit."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "The vinegar is melting your nipple position." "They're backing me off of TUMS." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I will confess that we would not be here if we had not cheated in a contest." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 777: R “If you had to choose between a ninja and a pirate to be your best friend, would you choose the sweaty guy with this weird sort of British accent who’s always intoxicated and trying to steal your stuff or would you choose the totally cool guy who’s always dressed in black, keeps to himself and can silently kill anyone who’s giving you trouble?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Upgrade your tech, ninjas!” “Blackbeard would coil smoking fuses into his beard just for the effect of it. That’s just fun, y’all!” “Your mouth is open wide for the pirate booty.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Ninjas don’t have parents!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-aca2-a308-720626f54a9b"><span>GMMore: R “I’m like Batman!” “I’m gonna make so many ducks!” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 778: L "Question: how do you eat a fart?" "My ex step-father was a plumber and he had a back hoe that he dug ditches with and one time I rode in the bucket and it was amazing." "He was a nice step-father." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 779: R “You wanna have a good time?” L “Buy an electric toothbrush.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “My hand smells like Brittany.” L “That’s the best thing going for you right now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Smells like the bathroom at my uncle’s house.” R “Your uncle does this?” L “Why you need febreze when you just got matches.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What is your go-to pain reliever?” L “Time apart. Just kidding, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If I needed coffee every single morning, you bet your butt I’d be scheduling that stuff. I’d schedule it’s delivery to my mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 780: R “I miss North Carolina so much.” “Caged pumpkins can’t stand up to my deviance.” “So if you see a teen in a truck in your neighborhood, just say no to that teen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 781: R “He doesn’t like the beard. He thinks I’m a threat.” L “I think it’s more than the beard. It’s the total package.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I can’t get a sea lion to kiss my face, but I can get a shark to kiss my foot.” “Ignore the trout! Trout are boring, we all know trout are boring, but merman are exciting!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Do you wash the inside of your ears with soap?” “Turns out the area that you cannot reach on your back is a trapezoid shape.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d4fc-8520-8eaa-351e07acc4b5">L “Yeah. Of course I do. I have OCPD.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 782: R “I hate being shocked. I hate it. I hate it so much.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “It’s amazing how quickly you’ve changed. You were like a cold-hearted animal hater-” L “Well, I’m all in.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I just said 2016 is the year of the dog for me.” “I hate being shocked. I hate it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 783: L “I always associated ambidexterity with just general awesomeness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You also, strangely, this blows my mind, you hold a microphone with your left hand!” L “Yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s not for symmetry, it’s because you’re most comfortable-” L “So I can gesture with my right hand!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What foot do you kick a ball with? Well I personally know and was there and witnessed this that the only two goals you’ve ever scored in your soccer career was with your?” L “Left foot.” R “Left foot.” L “I kick most of the time with my right foot, but I’ve only scored with my left foot.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’ll high five people with either hand, like, there’s no stopping me.” R “Really?” L “Like, if you wanna high me, I can come at it from multiple angles.” R “You have been doing a lot of high-fiving lately, I’ve noticed, which I’m a little concerned about.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-f3b2-68d6-0ef56b02a07e"><span>R “Technically, I text with both thumbs.” L “But if you had to choose one?” R “I could not text with just my left. It’s definitely the subservient thumb. If you asked the left thumb to lead, who knows what I would text! Shh, boy!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 784: L "Proof is in the shoes." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is the place to go if you come back from the future, though. The Time Travel Institute forums. I mean, don't go to the press." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (singing->) “What’s that sound coming from my belt loop? It’s my beeper. Beep, beep, beep, beep. What’s that sound coming from my pocket?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-5fb9-968a-6f76-a20b97148a60">R “If any one of these celebrities were to actually be the time traveler, it would be Nicolas Cage.” “I’ve always wanted to play a soldier in the Civil War. That’s my dream.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 785: L “I can ride with my baby. We be in the kitchen cookin pies with my baby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 786: R “It tastes like I got to the bottom of a chicken bucket and somebody got fired...” “The brain is a muscle. The brain is the most important muscle, boys and girls.” “Look how slow he’s moving. You don’t want to eat a beetle that slowly. Like, you want to put him in there, crunch, crunch, crunch, swallow.” “You’re the man. This is the definition of mythicalness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s a brain stem on it!” R “Well, as you eat the lamb’s brain, you get to live parts of its life. So you could absorb some of its thoughts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Shay, I know we just met, but you’re about to watch me throw up.” “I’m sorry, Shay. I’m usually not this way. Actually I am. Always this way.” “This is like something you would dissect in the third year of medical school.” “Oh! You did it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It smells like a roast turkey. Mmm! Happy Thanksgiving, dad!” R “You want me to be the dad? I don’t understand what’s going on.” L “My dad always carved the turkey.” R “Go ahead, son. Eat it. It’s actually lamb’s brain. Come on son, do it for you dad. Make me proud. Eat that brain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s not prepared. It’s not, it’s food, for what?” R “It doesn’t have to get prepared. What do you want, me to give it a little speech? Hey beetle, you’re about to be eaten! Do you feel prepared? There ya go, I prepared it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, say, ‘I’m a trailblazer.’” L “I’m a trailblazer.” R “Say, ‘I’m a pioneer.’” L “I’m a pioneer!” R “I’m in the future times.” L “I’m in the future times.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Crunch crunch swallow! Show ‘em who’s boss!” Both “Crunch crunch swallow! Show ‘em who’s boss!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c972-3796-2df2-0d624ef34590"><span>GMMore: R “But you ate a beetle. That’s a first on this show!” L “I’ve never eaten a live thing. Period.” Shay “Did you feel a little bad?” L “Yeah, really bad!” Shay “Yeah, I did, too.” L “For myself!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R "The key to happiness is low expectations."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 787: R “I’m popular with the older ladies.” “Go against instinct, Link. Follow that rule in life and you’ll be great.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I mean, it costs 25 grand to kill a human being, but you gotta pay at least 30 grand for a lizard? What world are we living in?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Let the tigers tiger. <span id="docs-internal-guid-eb4174f0-24eb-0f5f-750a-1a88e1bf0968">Let’s put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 788: R “I’m a stanky-planker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Murder-O! Fun Family Fun.” "You have a lot of facial plasticity." "I'm like a blowfish with a broken valve."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "You can't kill too many people in a home invasion." L "...unless that home is a commune."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 789: R “She loves when I call her ‘Kale-face.’” “I don’t know what it is about those Germans, they make good knives.” “I call her ‘Kale-face’ and she calls me ‘Milk-feet.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My life is a pun.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 790: R “I was just in a scary situation being next to you…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L …”because I made it all the way through the movie, and I seemed like a man even though I was shivering in my boots and I was peeing in my britches.” “...told ‘em nothing weird would happen.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 791: R “I can taste the reverse osmosis, Link!” “Too bad I don’t look more like a chicken. That would be helpful.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s cursive, don’t you know cursive?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You never know what kind of ideas a seal can get after watching a show about witchcraft.” “Diarrhea can be cleaned up, but curses cannot be taken away.” “A hall is just a shaft sideways.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 792: L (about video games) “They’re basically books, but better.” “I’m taking issue with your pronunciation of ‘Bjork.’” “Flies can’t start stereos, but mosquitos can.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m taking issue with this being a game and I’m saying that this is a Bjork music video.” “My soul looks like a squished pancake, a square-decorated pancake man? I hope so!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: (lots of quotes)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "My wee hands are now busted." "We are going to do our first ever 'Let's Play' because we didn't know about 'Muscle March' until right now." "I also made a choice to make this peanut butter peppermint lip balm my preparation for all 'Let's Play' videos." "Caution: applying this stuff might make you happier and hungrier." "My lips feel perfectly persed for 'Let's Play.'"(?) "Well, I've got one, so I'm not asking." "This is basically 'Temple Run' for scandal-eclat muscle men." "Her is awesome." "I like a woman in a space station." "Those glutes are waggling!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Link's going strapless again." "Is a wedgie part of the deal?" "I like a woman with meat on her bones." "</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 793: R “He’s so hungy!” “Doggy Daycare by Terrare. They never come back.” “Oh, that’s a food baby if I’ve ever heard of one.” “Don’t eat the bunny, eat the bacon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...and it turns out there’s a bit of a debate as to who’s the ‘hungiest’ man ever.” “Dude ate a child.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “It’s the fluffiest of fluffy parts!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “These bunnies are survivors, y’all!” “Hold on, bunny checking my email. Bunny sending an email.” “You call the right number, we’ll show up at your doorstep with these bunnies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 794: R “So if you’ve got any balls you want people to think are moving, you just change colors real fast.” “Perceptual bias! We should start a band called that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Just flash em!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s like something you put on the side of a yacht if you’re a sad person.” R “Same boat, different destination?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Wanna feel like a man?” L “So your lips smells like peanut butter peppermint and your beard smells like an aeromatic section of the woods.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 795: R “I was convinced I had a dessert stomach.” “A little bit of crunch and a lot of love from me.” “The Hookr, the new competitor to the Dipr.” "This is like me and you in a raft on the Atlantic, just stranded, and we have these hookrs and that' it."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 796: Grace "Is that a thing? Guys like to name body parts?" L “Yeah, like, my arm’s name is Molly, the right one." R "Oh, what? Really?" L "Yeah, my left arm is named Heidi.” R "Why are both your arms women’s names?" L "'Cause I like to hang out with the ladies!" R “That’s literally the funniest thing you’ve ever said. You just peaked with that Molly-Heidi arm joke." L "Really?" R "And I was here for it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "When I'm pumping gas I'm like "Mmm I'd like to drink some of that gas." But I know I shouldn't... and so I don't."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 797: R “Your mom has a way with words.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (referring to velour track pants w/ the word “SUCCULENT” on the butt) “Do those exist? Because I’m in the market.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 798: R “I know none of you care, so I’m just doing it for this camera: SPORTS JOKE.” “Papa was a freemason.” “I’ve always wanted to call myself ‘Big Buck.’” “Who’s to say that there’s not something called a Build-a-Burger?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “MOZART.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 799: R "Peanut Butter flavored!" “What I discovered is that I just bleed and then heal.” "We're going to be pros by the time you start bleeding." “I thought you popped your finger. I thought we just learned that your hands are balloons.” "You gonna faint?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "So we're pleased to announce the 'Rhett & Link Blood Type Kit.'" "I've told this story of, no, of accidentally cutting my finger trying to open a barbie doll a few Christmas's ago and I fainted into my father-in-law's arms at the kitchen sink. Uh, I'm never going to live that down." "See? Look at you, you're the one doing the neck dance!" "Milk it like a teet." "I gotta give you my meat, you gotta give me my veggies." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Nothing ever actually works on this show and it did!" "I was hoping that you were going to be type B so that together we would be BO." "A-OOOO!" "Don't think about me licking." "I think if there's a Tom Selleck in this group, it's me..." "I think Leo would be a bad boyfriend." "She makes irrational decisions like cutting her hair really short. That's something that you would have done back in the day." "She puts out her own perfume, you've thought about that." "I'm a blood genius!""This is a moment in history and it's been captured!" "I discovered I'm a blood genius.""I'm going to put that on my LinkedIn profile: Blood Genius." "Send me a picture, Chase." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "A-OOOO!" "You lick your lips sometimes, it's weird." "I like to walk over fans while wearing dresses." "I like to think of myself as a Tom Selleck type." "I come from a long line of farmers." "She puts it out, she, like, emits it.""I've always thought of John Lennon as unforgiving." "Is Rhett going to go nuts?" "Come close to the Blood Genius." "I don't want to be advisor to the Blood Genius." "The Blood Genius has died."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 800: L (singing) “People come from foreign lands just to stick it to the Stickerman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "'Icesis Whitmore' asks that we find one quote from all 800 episodes." Both: "Good Mythical Morning!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Look at your name. This is to be the spelling of your name for the rest of history: 'L, i, n, g, c, k.' That is how you spell Link." L "'L, i, n, g, c, k. and Rhett, 'R, e, t.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Oh, you're 'Lick and Rhett' on this one." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 801: L "I'm not just a peanut butter lover, I'm an all butter lover!" "I can think of no better butter than butter butter." “Why are you having fun?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Smells like Vegas." L "Smells like a curbside in Vegas." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca1b-df15-4015-76f5243fd1bc"><span>GMM 802: R “...there’s a couple ways to make room for more oysters. I mean, there’s a couple of orifices that I can think of.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’m more of a sausage man.” “It’s for kids and sad people.” (referring to cheese pizza) - submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/NouranMohamedAbdelaziiz">Nouran (The Dough Faced Dolphin)</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I once ate 30 ears of corn, which is not really that big.” “I once ate 55 chicken wings.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 803: R "You mean it gets worse? It gets more yellow. Whoa, look at it. And then it becomes like yellow pudding."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 804: L “How do you get a llama on a surfboard? You gotta make it want it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “How else do you find out if a llama can surf? It’s got to want to first.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 805: Both: “That’s a sick flow.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “There is no finger.” “Always looking for a place to put a finger: Link Neal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 806: R “Boom! Turkey Man!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s like Oprah in here, except it’s goats.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-4a37-bd22-7938-93492151515d">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/NouranMohamedAbdelaziiz">Nouran (The Dough Faced Dolphin)</a>)</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 807: L “I think they made turkloos, which is like igloos made out of frozen turkeys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R ”Helping fat male turkeys is the first known use of the turkey baster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Here’s another fun fact: I have a U.T.I right now.” R “I hope it’s not contagious.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Turkeys love freedom, just like us.” R (making fun of Link) “I don’t skip breakfast on Thanksgiving. Who do you think I am?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 808: R “I’m familiar with the anatomy of a turkey.” “You always kill the guy with the gloves. That’s a sign that he’s got other things that you need.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca2a-106e-c5ab-178dff80a55f"><span>(singing) R “We got a turkey in a trash can.” L “Turkey in a trash can.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore R “You gotta find the meat.” L “Eat the turkey butt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you pull in the right place, the meat will reveal itself."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 809: L “Tongue twisters aren’t broring.” R “Don’t criticize the size of a man’s cob.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore R “Pilgrims loveth the beardeth oil.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 810: R “It’s a Mythical Thanksgiving Connection.” L “I’m thankful for semi-colons, ‘cause they make commas look STUPID!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Smitty and Smutty. That's what we call ourselves when the cameras aren't rolling."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 811: R “She doesn’t need a waffle iron, she just needs to go out back.” “She got a one waffle iron for every inch of crack she showed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Well, that would be Brown Friday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 812: R “I follow Beyonce on Instagram and that was a good choice on my part.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘She went with him.’ This isn’t middle school, these are celebrities we’re talking about.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 813: R “And that’s when she learned, polar bears don’t like Coke, they like woman.” “It’s like the best kids book of all time: What Does Zing Dong Do?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What does Zing Dong do?” “Zing Dong don’t do those things.” “When I’mina scale a fence, sometimes I feel like I need to get naked first just to make sure nothing gets snagged.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “A gorilla could be my co-host for this show.” L “Screw you, man!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Ethics class, with Rhett and Link.""I would die for you. If you were a gorilla, I would not die for you."</p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 669-816tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-07-03:2452419:BlogPost:21962802016-07-03T18:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Jul 3 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-370</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 371-522</a>, …</strong></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Jul 3 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-370</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 371-522</a>, </strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 523-668</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 817-969</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 970-1051</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-1052-current" target="_blank">GMM 1052-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 669: R “If we’ve proven anything on this show is that we care about fitness! Have we proven that? I don’t know if we have proven that.” L “Well, we’ve made a lot of efforts!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I think this goes to show you that any woman who’s willing to prance is, uh, she’s on my team.” “I don’t know who I am. I don’t know where I am.” “Do you know how when you’ve been given news so good, that you feel bad, like your body starts to react negatively? That happened to me.” “Something about a woman in a leotard with that much hair, man. Hair that don’t quit!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Sometimes, I don’t understand Japanese things, but I appreciate them with a passion.” “We could bring this back! Chair dancing with tambourines!” “Who would have thought you could have so much fun with two paper plates?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “He had a dream vomit?” “You can’t dream vomit. That is bad new all around!” “Yeah, you gotta sync up with the horns.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-6b38-7be6-77a085aa2505">R “That’s what guys are thinking when they wake up. They’re like, what kind of day is this gonna be in terms of flatulence.” L “Like a weather report.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 670: L "It's like a waterfall of awesome!" </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 671: R “She was so into this idea that she dropped her kid off at boarding school, something I think about all the time.” (both laugh) L “Ouch! This goes out to people, including your own children. You realize that, right?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “G Wagon. G for gangster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Sleeping. They call it ‘the little death.’” “When we move back to North Carolina, we’ll be the rest home tour because we’ll be of the age.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The mythical elderly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 672: L “I don’t care, it tastes awesome!” “If you ate one of these every day, you also would be history.” “I thought I was going to get a cramp under here, which I’ve gotten many times from eating meat mountains.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We need to do this more often. You just talk about things and hand them to me and I eat ‘em.” “This is like going to the Grand Canyon and learning about the history of the Earth, but all I need to know is the history of this sandwich, which was probably you know, 5 minutes at Arby’s. The present is it going into my mouth.” “Another end for my friend.” “Yeah, I’ve dipped my fries into everything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If you’ve never been out here, when you come out here, go to ‘In-N-out.’ It’s like a spiritual experience.” “And the fries are awesome. They turn me into an animal, especially when they’re animal fries.” “Pipe down, Porky! Pipe down, you’re not going to get any of this Dutchman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a4ba-a061-400c-8380ab28b49a">R “Chicken nuggets remind me of the state I was born in, Georgia. It’s why I eat ‘em.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 673: R “We are in Biosphere 1 right now, Link! It’s awesome!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-9958-f597-2f32f3e1827a">L “You gotta have a theater degree to use a rice thresher.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 674: L “A bathroom is never a good place to be surprised…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “And if you’re currently trapped in a port-o-potty, naked, just figure a way out, okay?” L “Just get out of there and don’t tell anybody it ever happened!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You know how sometimes I wanna get out of the house that much quicker? Two things at once. I was peeing and applying deodarant at the same time! Must I spell this out?” R “That’s a fool’s errand, man.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you’re in a marriage that’s been going for 36 years, don’t ask for trouble, man. Don’t see if she’s happy. She’s not.” L “Oh, that is sad.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-f1be-585e-6d77403ad74b">L “Is there something you need to tell us about your quality of your marriage?” R “I’ve only been married for 14 years. My wife’s happy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 675: L "'Slunch', slouch. 'Slunch' is a word now." "This episode's falling apart."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Slunch is what you have in between supper and lunch." "I do not want 'Good Mythical Morning' to endorse men going up to women and kissing their hands." "Today is the last day ever that you will be able to get a 5th anniversary Mythical Shoe."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (reading a fan letter) "P.S. Rhett's super cool and Link's kinda girly." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 676: R “Hey, everybody’s got taste buds on their back.” “I’m a potato lover.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Okay, now that’s like a Jamba Juice practical joke.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You ruined my love life, guys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-bad9-940c-3902-748cd36a37e2">R “It’s like I just took a bite of the Garden of Eden. After the fall.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 677: L “Why am I confused? Mainly because you’re talking to yourself and talking to your hand about voting for Kennedy! This is crazy!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Boy, my family would sit down. We’d have spaghetti with milk.” L “I almost thought about not coming over to your house anymore because-“ R “So milky?” L “it was so milky over there. It made me feel weird.” R “Such a milky environment.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “As a kid, I didn’t drink milk. It was horrible to me, it was nasty. I also didn’t drink water.” “I was a late bloomer when it came to milk, but I’m killing the dairy industry. I’m proping the dairy industry up, and the chocolate syrup industry, and the peanut butter industry, and that is my diet. I wouldn’t drink milk, I wouldn’t drink water. I would only drink coke, and I mean that in the southern sense of any soda. I’m just as healthy as you now.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-341d-193a-a6a860b20904">R “Don’t put Link in your pocket.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 678: R “The one flaw in Mr. Rogers’ character: He sicked a bat at her.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t read anything.” “I dream CDC reports.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-f52d-b066-9ca5-b489eb2c4bee">R “Case report is synonymous for Link’s dream journal at CDC.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 679: R “Hey, buddy. Get a butter bite. Hey buddy, did you get a butter bite?” "Did you get a butter bite, brother?" “I just have a positive attitude about everything.” “Come on, Chipmunk Link. You gotta get it down.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Good for us.” “Look at me, look at how I’m smiling now.” “Who knew flowers were such a nasty, nasty, bad thing." "I'm gonna bite, chew, chew, chew, swallow. Not even gonna think about it."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 680: R “Even if you’re a test tube baby, you should keep watching and take a moment to think about it. You got a momma to be thankful for…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Today, we ask the age-old question.” L “Will it mini-van?” R “Let’s mom about that!” R “Good Mythical Moms!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-648d-a091-c7924f8a3538">R “I don’t know why I’m getting so tickled.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “If there was a butter spray named ‘Rhett,’ I’d be buying it every day. I’ll tell you that right now.” L “Every day?” R “I’d have one every day…’A can of Rhett’….It would be part of daily routine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-795a-3e79-c9da-ecefad5d3d9f">R “I love the smell of wood, man. Can you tell?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 681: R “You guys look like you could be Stampy’s kids! What’s up with that? Hold on. Do we need to talk about something?” Stampy “They just base their hairstyle on who they look up to really.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “These kids are geniuses. They have genes that make them geniuses.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-b583-f460-e34bc5aa6143">R “It’s all down to you, me, and these torches, buddy!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You’re telling me that you’ve called your mom twice in one day?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-812a-fd8c-aed2-fc1844e471d6">L “I have a knack for making things more awkward.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 682: R “Don’t cry, big white fluffy turtle.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 683: R “I’m a pretty messed up dude, so, ya know, I’m good at figuring out which things are messed up and what things are made up by Linkypoo.” “I’ve been Shreked!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I am a model princess, if anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 684: R “I don’t go to the club. Look at me, guys. Come on. Get a grip.” “I’m like, ‘why do we humans do this? Let me go out there and do my Michael Jackson and make everybody laugh.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If it’s not viral, then it has to be alien.” R “Aliens exist. We’ve proved it this morning on ‘Good Mythical Morning.’” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “No one’s weaker than when they’re laughing.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Maybe we should teach a class on Lynda!” L “Boxing and Laughing.” R “Making your opponent laugh. A boxing extravanga with Rhett & Link.” L “Laughing your way to the Welterweight title by Rhett & Link.” R “I’ll be your trainer. With special cameos by Rhett as Link’s trainer.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “So, what are you saying, Link? Next time somebody laughs in your face, punch ‘em?” L “If you’ve been looking for the opportunity, then that’s it.” R “If you want to.” L “If you want to.” R “Don’t punch people, but if you’ve got somebody that you really need to punch” L “Make ‘em laugh.” R “and it’s your decision to do it, get ‘em laughing first.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 685: R “I looked like Lurch.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Do not do the Chicken Dance not matter what day it is.” L “Lop the head off the Chicken Dance.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You get in shape at the prom!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac98-f1b1-0414-2d0a38a03ff1">L “Oh, yeah, baby! Line ‘em up, knock ‘em down!” R “If you don’t win prom king after this, transfer to another school!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Hello. Welcome to my mouth." "Bobbleheads do anything you want them to do." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Bobbleheads say no. Bobbleheads say yes. Bobblehead be silent." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 686: L “$1.3 million dollars.” R “My butt is not worth it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t touch metal in general because of all the prints I leave on it because of how oily I am.” “I don’t even use a mouse, I use just hand signals.” “We’re men, daggumit.” “...we went into a store and we came out with two book bags and we wore them around the streets of New York City.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “What do you want for Christmas little boy?” L “Santa car?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-8c5e-0f78-3126df85a2e0">R “You just sat in my lap, like I was a car. That happened.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 687: R “Anytime you’re doing something wrong, you gotta look like you’re doing something right. Remember that, kids.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Anyway, I’m just saying, I wish I was a squatter, but if I was, I would do it temporarily. I wouldn’t get caught then I would go live in the mountains.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 688: R “You gonna have to use my hints. My hints are great. I want you to win. I want to carve you in a watermelon so bad.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Celebrities in the eye of the beholder.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You’re one in a watermillion.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link, you don’t talk a lot while you carve. You’re a man on a mission.” L “Well, you know, if you’re gonna talk, I’m gonna listen. You know me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-0040-bd87-8ca0-d99239568cbf">R “I see your mouth and raise you an ear.” “Look at the resembulance.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 689: R (about his beard->) “I imagine it quite often.” “What doesn’t kill the tongue makes the tongue stronger.” “So anyway, I guess you can lift whatever you want with whatever you got.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Never has a tongue hated the man it resided in more than that guy’s.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I want you to be happy." “Teeth make sense because, I don’t know, it justs makes a little more sense to me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t think he’s too stupid, just the right amount of stupid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e646-390d-e875-05844fb490bc">GMM 690: </span>R "Let's delve in and dole out."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Any man who looks up 'pookiestick' when he's trying to come up with a word also stalks his ex-girlfriends." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's my ex-girlfriend's name: 'Blankety blank blank.'" L "You also dated 'tttttt' in the past." R "Yeah, I did!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "You see ladies and gentlemen, when you want to crad, you just have to crad a little bit." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Oh, peanut butter Kit-Kat. What? What? What?" "Oh my gosh, guys. This is the greatest thing I've ever had. Hold on, I don't think you guys realize that my life has just changed. This the most amazing thing I've ever eaten." R "Well, you gotta move to Poland now." L "I'm moving to Poland. Point me toward the pole. Here I go."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 691: L “I always recommend having a scuba-certified Noah around.” “Listen to me. If I die, I want you to carry on for about a week, and then I want you to be, like, ‘I can’t do this without him’ and then I want you to quit, but I want you to try for a week without me.” “Cause I want you to prove that you can’t do it without me. I don’t want you to just say, ‘nah, out of his honor, I’m not gonna do it.’” “There’s nothing like looking at a stopwatch and a guy float in a pool for two and a half minutes. This is invigorating.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I bet you GloZell could hold a mean piece of breath.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 692: R “We have transformed the ‘Good Mythical Morning’ set into a kitchen.” L “This is nothing but danger.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I’m always a little frightened by Captain Crunch. I wouldn’t want to spend any time with him.” L “He’s a loose cannon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e626-3b7b-1cee-8781e10f272d">L “It’s not my job to fry the bacon, I just bring it home.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 693: L “You don’t want to know what the road’s witch doctor name is? The knocking beetle.” “Whistling language should never die!” (put that on a t-shirt) “Next time you go to the Amazon, you are gonna want to ask somebody what fat spider monkey’s your breast.” Put that on your smartphone when canoeing down the Amazon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You said Satan. Don’t invoke anything here, Link.” “I’m going to teach my children to only speak in this language. I’m tired of hearing their voices.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If you want to know what it’s like to thump our actual heads, buy the bobblehead.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b45d-fc66-3de2-d58b9d6d3ad1">R “I’m so interested in islands, especially the people just kill ya.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 694: R “It’s like life. You need the absence of light and you need light at the same time. The world of Shadow Puppet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “That’s like a comic book character. Flounder-donkey. He’s got two eyes on one side of his head.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Goblin hands."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 695: R "You got hair back there? He's like a bear...I saw him at the pool one time. I adverted my eyes...Your mom plucks it." (in an accent->) “Do not take me to your office…. Horseman, they call me Horseman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (as Reginold the Hairdresser) "I call it hair topping. It's not a wig. Wigs are for sad people." "I take after my mom who has no back hair, but my dad is like a gorilla back there!" </p>
<p></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9d-3959-9c44-af3e2da6af4b"><span>GMM</span> <span>696: L “Thank you mythical beasts for listening to the arguments. It’s not a popularity contest, even though I know you like me.” “Cats purr at the frequency of a diesel engine.”</span></span> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I should be a catwoman, a cat lady.” “I had a cat named Patches for a couple of days, 'til it had worms coming out of its anus."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 697: L “I don’t care if you call it cola, if you call it soda, if you call it pop, you can call it black liquid that fizzes, for all I care.” “I’m coking with ya.” "Yes, I'm wearing purple pants!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “No one has ever called cola, ‘black liquid that fizzes.’” “Can you carbonate urine? I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It makes me wonder.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "And kids, this is the lesson: Get white pants and get someone to dye them any color you want them so you can shake your booty in 'em and put it up against a spinning wheel." "Teach a child to pull guts out of an animal. Come on, live a little bit!" "I want one of two things. I want sprinkled pants or fried brim, and I want it in the next half hour. Can you make that happen for me?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It tasted like burnt accidents." "I sense that you're on the verge of a lot pain, I don't know what's happening, but it's okay. I'm here for you, man." "I know I can't make you happy in that way, I'm just your friend." "Are you about to cry?" "I could eat a mess of crappie. Just pile it up high."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 698: L “Wouldn’t you be angry if you lived in a chest of drawers? Call me Chester, Chester Drawers.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Have you been texting with boys?" R "Yeah, like, Patrick and Dillion and Schwa-schwa. Yeah, Schwa-schwa's been sending me lots of texts. I'm thinking about going out with him and Dillion at the same time and you can't do anything about it 'cause I'm a strong independent woman."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-f504-d81c-6952-3d59c9d57c66">GMM 699: R “Y’all know y’all wish y’all was me!” "You gotta grease yourself up if you're gonna do this kind of thing. I mean, if you're gonna escape from prison or you're gonna rob a Paesan Pizza, you gotta put Crisco all over yourself." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-21e0-99c1-36c4-c8ca8923d0a3">L “Don’t pee on your only source of sustenance.” "Put Crisco all over yourself!" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Well, if you're duck-sucked, a lot of the time, you get duck-stuck. 'Well, first thing that happened officer is I got duck-sucked. And then right after I got duck-sucked, I got duck-stuck.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I will be upside down for 3 hours for $125,000. I will make that claim right now, I will do that. Any theme park in the world, if you wanna put us on the loop-de-loop-" L "Us? Me? I'm in this?" R "Well, 125,000 each." L "-each."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 700: R “This is what your liver looks like if all you eat is skittles.” L “This is what we can do, Internet!!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (misreading a fan letter) "I love you guys like this presents."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 701: R “All beekeepers should be able to breathe in and talk at the same time.” “Bill, you can’t just handle hand-fulls of bees.” “This is not the first time that Link has worn something that is called, ‘The Scent of the Queen.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Bill!” L “You have outdone yourself!” R “Your bees have outdone themself.” L “Your bees and yourself has outdone itself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-f504-7135-5f1a-e63f01ff7189">GMMore: L “No one wants an orifice pried apart by bees.” R “Period.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 702: L “Me beat you. You make fire? Me make more fire! 84 percentile! Me got heavy eyebrow ridge.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 703: R “I have invented bleachers! Put a field in front of them and you will enjoy soccer for days!” “Bleachers in the SKY!” "Oh, he was on the Wright flyer at the wrong time!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>704: L “I’m in constant fear of tweeting anything. That’s why I tweet so little because my boss might know the truth about me and fire me!” R “That’s right! I look at all your tweets, son!” L “I ain’t got no boss!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Yeah, I’ve never seen a Tinkerbell with a Busch Light before.” “Sometimes, I just get a pack of Cool Ranch Doritos and just lick ‘em and nothing else!” “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a horse emoji used properly except for somebody who’s riding one currently, and I don’t follow anybody who rides horses, so.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9e-5772-c6cc-c540f06f6e59"><span>L “I’ve never been able to do a glue factory joke right. The trend continues.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "But, how did I make babies?" R "Well, we can talk about that later." L "Actually, let's not." R "Well, I mean, later, when the camera's off." L "Actually, let's not." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "lynda.com/more. Free ten day trial. Holla atcha boy." (Holla at your boy) "Dude, you're such an idiot." "Don't snap-brag."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I was using the bathroom, number two, and I was snapchatting at the same time." L "Only Anthony Padilla can get away with something like that, man."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's what I look like when I use the bathroom." "Somebody snapped back at me, 'No poo selfies.'" "I grow a red beard and red eyebrows when I poop." "That was a good day on Snapchat."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's so funny, Rhett." L "I can't sit here with you anymore." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 705: R “Alright, well, I’m not doing that much mayonnaise because I’m using my brain today, not just my drill.” “Not the first time I’ve heard that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Now, see the way I’ve done it, I’ve got mayonnaise in every crevice.” “Now’s your moment. You just go down into the description all by your lonesome. Just have a little description time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...I recently celebrated fourteen years of marriage to my wife…” “Is it Mary or Margaret? Make a decision. Just kidding, I love it. I would call you ‘M&M’ if you were my friend.” “It’s not hot.” “You bring crayons, I bring a sword.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-26bc-d4fa-549f-a126de471208">L “I fell for it! Oh, dang!” “See the stuff we get? It’s great to be loved.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 706: R "If I've learned anything, if you squeeze anything hard enough, you get some milk out of it." (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/milliemanagtyde" class="fn url">Millie the Magical Mangatyde</a>) "I feel violated." "That's a good way to describe you." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "The world really opens up if donkey milk tastes good." "I feel so bad for babies right now." "When was the last time you saw a camel hang out with a cow?" "I'm more of a donkey man." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>707: R “Dogs be turning into humans, man!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You thought Eddie farted for this game? I don’t want to show that video!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: R “Any time I want to put things in perspective, I watch tortoise mating videos.” “Always regret it, never forget it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9e-d6a9-84f6-74d46792ce45"><span>R “We sat there for four hours waiting for that elephant to crap.” L “That was our taste of nature photography, and I shouldn’t have used the word, ‘taste.’”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 708: R “Get ready to pupate! Are y’all ready to pupate?” “This one involves a cow, a liver, feces, snails, grass, ants, and darkness.” “Everybody get ready to pupate cause we’re doing the ‘birds get ready to eat me’ dance!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Sounds like my senior prom night.” “I’m doing the ‘birds please eat me’ dance!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Cats are such good hosts.” “Because this can also infect humans, there are some people theorizing at this point that this may be what makes a crazy cat lady. Someone who likes the smell of cat urine.” “Nature can be a dark place. Watch your back. Stay inside.” “Y’all get ready to pupate!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-09cf-1c2a-3176-5ee73e1147aa">L “Snails got a raw deal. They’re always like the middle man in some, like, backwards parasitic relationship.” “Snails need their own lobbyist.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 709: L “Look, it’s Randalf the Gray! You shall pass…physics!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Have you seen my cloud swing? Hold on, let me download it. Oh, it’s syncing! There it is.” “You shall comment and like!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-4306-492b-46e4f69ea67a"><span>R “The idea of leaving my kids somewhere for four weeks in the middle of summer? That’s [an] amazing idea!” L “That is a parent’s stunt.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I learned LogicPro when we switched over from GarageBand.” “If my memory serves me, correct me.” (put that on a t-shirt). “I didn’t go to the pool as a kid. That wasn’t my thing. I wasn’t a pool person.” Oh heck, yes, I miss(ed?) my mom. I wanna (gonna?) own that all day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-e2fd-e4b7-fea3-32ecf540081e">R “There’s so many years that we could’ve just camped together and it never happened. I regret that.” “I didn’t poop for five days.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>710: R “Who cleaned up your son’s vomit? Me! I am essentially fathering your children!” “With the Egg Rollie, you can be the fun dad with cylindrical eggs!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like a timelapse of an eggplant growing.” “I did not anticipate the force with which one could be hit with a sub sandwich.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I tell you what it reminds me of,” L “What?” R “but I don’t wanna say!” L “Egg! An egg tower! It’s like a timelapse of an egg tower growing in the forest.” R “No. It’s like you when you got back home from Camp Caraway.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “‘Stinky Linky!’ That’s what my Aunt Viki used to call me.” “I’m the Mythical Boss all of a sudden. This is great!” “I’m just not appetized by what I’ve been watching.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m also the Mythical Boss, apparantly. ‘Rhett McLaughlin’s Mythical Monster Truck Spit Bucket.’ That is awesome!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-7c4e-ad13-99f5031d895b"><span>L “Is it real hot?” R “Is it hot?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 711: L “It’s like an accordion of fives!” R “Somebody hook some sort of battery up to that situation!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-795a-cb1e-6554-7c0eaee89e45"><span>R “I touched stranger hair with my nose!” Mamrie “You didn’t taste it, did you?” R “No!” L “The sad thing is, I thought this was appetizing! Like, I’m like, ‘Hm, it’s something cooked!’” R “Y’all think this smells bad? Smells like something been in a crockpot to me!” L “It’s like a roast!” Mamrie “It’s burnt, but I don’t hate it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 712: L “Kids love gross-out stuff.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 713: R “Yes, I would like to be suggested.” “I don’t know, we don’t know anything.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We just met, Rhett. Met we just Rhett.” “Solid and rigid and powerful.” “Moving and spinning and turning.” “Well note to self: Don’t do the Bionic arm thingy on anybody ever. You could be arrested for that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Lots of rigid strong arm holding happenings in that episode.” “I don’t know ‘After Effects,’ never have, but let’s say I need to learn that because the qualified personnel who worked with us on our team, who are masters, decide to do, well let’s just say that they take a short vacation…” “If you have to come to somebody’s house to sell something, I know I’m stepping on toes here, then there’s something suspicious about the product.” “When no one wants to go out and get it, there’s something suspicious about it.” “...as a general rule, your suspicion is to be raised when people have to come to you and sell you into buying something.” “(about Howie Mandel->) “We met him in person, he fistbumped us. He would not shake hands.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b981-2f09-0a4b-fef2310cd956">R “...decide to quit.” “You don’t want to suggest to Google.” “I bought 17 vacuum cleaners that way.” “What if what we did on today’s episode was successful and we are both now permanently hypnotized?” “Hypnotisms happen.” (put that on a t-shirt)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>714: R “It has been said that those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. This is why, despite my better judgement, I keep going back to the Sizzler.” “Don’t take shortcuts, you might end up eating people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But, you know, I always say, better eat a friend than a brother.” L “I’ve never heard you say that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This brings us to the question of, if we were stranded and I died, would you eat me” L “Yes.” R “‘cause I’m not rela- okay, good. What part?” L “Yes, that’s easy. Did you think that was going to be difficult?” R “What would you start with?” L “What part? Now, that’s difficult. I don’t know what part, but I do know that I would face you the other direction so you wouldn’t be looking at me. Like, I’m not going to eat your face.” R “You could just cut my head off and it depersonalizes me and then you can play soccer with my head! I don’t care!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Put your videos on laserdisc! Ain’t nobody gonna tape over that!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-a74c-ffd1-98f89319b361"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “I wasn’t intimidated by the guy. I mean, Christy and the door were in between me and him!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 715: L “You can’t have too much fried chicken.” R “Be the hero! Bring fried chicken!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Do you know a bad word that starts with ‘z’?” R “No, I don’t know about that one.” L “Oh, we should make it up. Zork! Zork is a really bad word.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac9f-d30f-e237-09e67278ee70"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “Good work, Rhett. You’re a good taster, man. You’re a master taster."</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 716: R “Thank you to the 12 people who just died.” “Every 6 seconds, Rhett gets another question right.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I call it NASA, that’s actually the correct pronunciation. NASA. It’s a long ‘a’ and then, an ‘ah’ sound.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2378-2812-6bbd-6d208c326a1a">R “First time I’ve heard that: ‘I’ll be Jesus.’ Sure.’” “Buzzer Burger. Hey, man. I’ll take a number 3 combo Buzzer Burger with a side of leaves.” “Those Russian kids, man. We gotta get one of those.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 717: R “That could be us, man. We could be post-humans delivering mail, like, shooting it out of our mouth, however you want it to happen!” “Join us! We’re making the future now! I just came up with that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Aunt Viki has a fake knee.” R “Yeah, she’s a cyborg!” L “Well.” R “Aunt Viki is post-human, man!” L “She’s an awesome woman.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Volcano boarding is real. Put that on a t-shirt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R "You gotta create another rectum.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Well, I have always talked about having a hand that dispenses sauces. Five different sauces.” L “The fact is, it’s true. And the other hand is nuggets pop out of the palm, right?” R “Yeah, one hand is a nugget dispenser and then you’ve got sweet and sour, barbecue, buffalo, honey mustard and ranch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-1fc4-9015-59fcd4e19582"><span>R “He’s got the blue cheese pinky. He got the blue cheese upgrade.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>718: R “And I never understood this whole principal ‘cause I’m too tall for the military. Don’t you want the big people in the military? Don’t you want the big people to come out over the hill?!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “R.I.P. VIP Christopher Lee. If it’s not too late, we can still put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GM</span><span>More: L “Welcome to what did you just do to the mic?” “We might have been spied up, ya know, if we had been together, be like, ‘spy duo Rhett & Link. I gotta hire them!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-54f4-8af8-826afd07a078"><span>L “I made the CIA pay for my waffle, man!” R “Oh, man. I should have done that!”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 719: R "Every year, I dress up like Santa and I give out beans and franks cookies." “It’s the bite that keeps biting back.” “Man, it’s like I’m on a rollercoaster & all I do is bite something.” (in a scottish accent) “I’m going to rule you all.” “I will be your king.” “Do you want to be a McNeal or a MacNeal?” "They'll take our lands." "Oh, yes. Scottish Christmas." “Brother Link breaks out the frank & beans cookies...”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Flaming hot wrongness is what’s happening.” "Soggy never hurt nobody." <span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9a6-e833-5123-f53c5c35c07b"><span>“It’s kind of Christmasy!” </span></span>"Take me to Scottish Christmas."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0b50-14b7-3a12-e491427dd42f">GMMore: L “Anybody else wanna get a puckerface? Pu-pu-pu-puckerface. Pu-pu-puckerface.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 720: L “Speaking like Yoda. Ask a lot. This question has been.” “I like to play, ‘who burped?’” “Let’s just go with shorts always, dude!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Speedo today, shorts tomorrow.” “Well, chunky soup will put you to sleep, brother.” “We thought, why let everybody ship us. why don’t we just ship ourselves.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You know what, lumos-pumpkin-13, you know what you get the treat of? I’m gonna play my guitar with your face, like a big pick.” “That’s what you have to do in order to work here.” (singing->) “My buddy, my buddy, wherever I go, he goes, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy and me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b981-73f7-3f2d-e28fa7b1f7f2">L “They didn’t make you watch all our videos before you started working here?” “That’s a cool t-shirt if you’re into 80s references. ‘I go diagonal.’ and then it’s an Etch A Sketch?” “‘I go diagonal’ and then it says it on an Etch A Sketch.” “I had Kid Sister.” “A swallowable doll is a genius thing cause that way if you don’t want your friends to play with it, you just swallow it. It’s like, ‘you can’t play with that one, that one’s special.’” “You know how when you have to crap stuff out and the doctor’s like, ‘you need to bring that in.’” “That kid’s got diaper rage. AH!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>721: L “It’s Joyce, right?” Nancy “No, Nancy.” L “Hi, Nancy! Good to meet you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I wouldn’t live in there.” Stephen “In that house? He will eat you alive.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think that based on that, what happened there, Link, I think we’re gonna see turtlenecks and velvet jackets pop up on business cards and real estate agents all around the country!” L “We’re trendbusters.” R “Trendbusters. If there’s something that’s going well, we better make sure it stops. If anybody’s doing it, we’re gonna end that trend real fast!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-aca0-8dcb-4008-631dc72fb18c"><span>L “But, we’ll never forget you, Stephen. We will never forget you. We’ll think of you often.” R “If you end up projecting your face on the side of houses, we get a cut of that.” L “Yeah, we’d be very upset to hear that you would do that without us.” R “Could you imagine that? We’ll see him on the news. He’ll be on the front of the real estate magazine: ‘Stephen Biskup. Now projecting his face of the side of houses.’ [It’ll] be like, ‘What? That’s our idea!’” L “Oh, we’ll track him down if that happens.” R “Don’t do it, Stephen.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ee-76ca-92fc-a2a9671441dd">GMM 722: L “Kick the bucket in an unusual way. That’ll give us something to talk about today.” R “Is that a command?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 723: Both “This is a game!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know how sometime when a fly gets trapped in your house, and then it starts getting fatter and slower? What is up with that?!” “They just invite you to come up and slap them…” “I get them with chopsticks. Mr. Miyagi, thank you.” “Double whammy, cold’s bad for grammy!” “‘Bind as a bat’ is a euphemism that is wrong based on wrongness.” “It’s been shown that women who are going through menopause cannot taste bitterness. I’m sure there’s a bitterness and menopause joke in there somewhere, but I’m not gonna touch it. I’m not gonna say anything about that. You can imagine what that joke would be.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...I love carrots, but I don’t like to look like I’ve been spray-tanned.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “See when I start going against everything that I actually think, it works!” R “Do the opposite of what you think and life will be so much simpler!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “How ‘bout this, Link. ‘The Great Wall of China is visible from space.’” L “I’ve heard this and I’ve assumed that it’s true because they always say there’s only two manmade things you can see from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other one is killer punch line that I haven’t come up with yet!” R “We’re great on this show at giving you the structure to make your own great jokes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If I keep this little part of Russia that I snipped off, I can probably wrap it around something later! Maybe around the iron core of the earth when I get that out! Wrap a little bit of Russia around it.” R “That is a great idea! We should start a GoFundMe campaign, or at least a Kickstarter. We want to wrap the extra part of Russia that didn’t make it around Pluto around the center of the earth!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And Putin is on board! That’s our slogan!” L “Putin on board. Put that on any car you’re in, too.” R “Putin on board. Wow! That’s the best idea we’ve had in months!” L “Sadly, yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When was the last time you ate a apple and you were like, ‘man! that was a good apple!’? Doesn’t happen.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s a better Kickstarter. We would like to MRI a polar bear. Putin is on board!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>724: L “Believe the Dachshund.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’d wanna watch you be abducted as I was pulling away in my lumberjack truck.” R “We need a guy with a GoPro to get abducted.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If we come in contact with aliens, we’re gonna know it! ‘District 9,’ ‘Independence Day,’ that kind of situation. Get ready for it, guys!” “Stephen Hawking says we shouldn’t want them to come ‘cause Stephen Hawking says that it’s unwise to think they would be friendly. I don’t really care. I think it’d be cool. Even if they were crazy mean and we have to fight an epic battle against them, it’s still gonna be awesome.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What would it take for you to believe?” L “I’d have to be probed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM</span> <span>725: L “Wow. That evoked a lot of emotions and I’m gonna ignore all of ‘em.” “I’m connected to you via what you’re eating, which is disturbing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you’re gonna go savory, don’t go halfway to savory town, go all the way and be the mayor!” L “You’re the president of savory city.” R “Well, the mayor is what I was thinking.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I will be wearing my clean three-piece carpet suit to all formal events for the remainder of 2015, so look for me there, at all your proms that have already happened.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Rhett & Link bookends and you separate us with knowledge, the knowledge from books.” R “What does that represent?” L “It represents-“ R “The knowledge in between us.” L “The more books we read, the further apart we grow, Rhett.” R “Okay, that’s what it means!” L “Which is why I never read!” R “And that’s why you shouldn’t read, kids!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t play with fire, adults!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How not to Sterno with Rhett & Link!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is a new that we’ve invented called-“ R “Hey, look, I got a meatball!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 726: L “Now, we’re no strangers to eating meat products. We are meat lovers…” “My mom owned seven donkeys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Man, turkey is confusing sometimes.” “You donkey lipped a sandwich? ‘Hold on. Let me donkey lip this.’” “I don’t hang out with donkeys.” “Don’t donkey lip on a first date.” “‘Mushy Bun.’ That’s my favorite kind of music. Have you heard ‘Mushy Bun’? Ah, it’s so good.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We got to rejuvenate. When we come back, we’re gonna be like glowing. It’ll be like we’re pregnant.” R “Oh, we’re gonna be so tan.” L “And pregnant. I plan on being, pregnatizing myself. I gotta do some research. It’s gonna take like three weeks to figure it out. I’ll need that glow. I need that pregnancy glow.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-bada-0d8f-8d72-85f3222aec3d">R “Blend it friend it. Blend it and make it splendid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m sproud of myself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 727: R “Say no to cavity searches, say yes to flight!” “If you believe in freedom, you believe in flight.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Freedom. Flight. Forever. Farmers Only dot com! Not a sponsor.” L “Wow. I’m glad I’m not you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Why, how and when did Harry Potter find the sorcerer’s stone? He found it from the invisibility cloak, man! The one ring, what power did it give Frodo? Invisibility. Casper the Friendly Ghost is so friendly. Why? Because he’s invisible! My best friend in Kindergarten, invisible! These are the people that I want to hang out with! These are the heroes I want to emulate!” Eddie “Mr. Link. Please, calm down.” L “Oh, I’m fine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I don’t have the power of pronunciation.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I can put fanny packs all up and down my legs.” “The Fanny Flyer.” “Whenever I feel down, I’m just gonna go up, up, up, and away into the sky…” “Flight is right tonight!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 728: R “We’ve got to avoid the microphone ears!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Where’s are dee blankets?” L “Where zee meelk cahns?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you’ve ever escaped from prison, in any form, send us a postcard! We wanna be the repository for prison escapee postcard-ists.” “Please pretend pies push people past pretend places.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Penelope praises Paul particularly passionately pretty-” R “We may have found Link’s gift!” L “past-” R “Maybe not.” L “pookie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I ran seven miles this weekend because of the books that I was listening to.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 729: R “Feel all over it.” “I think it’s a Christmas ornament.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It smells like if a teddy bear soiled itself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Bill “Who comes up with these things?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Bill “But I lost my dignity, that’s the problem.” L “We lost ours years ago.” Bill “Bound to happen sooner or later.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do Link!” Bill “Do what I say! You do what I say, I am from North Carolina!” R “Yeah. Thanks for explaining my world to everybody.” Bill “Do what I say, stretch!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Bill “I know you guys don’t do your show in the same room. People at home don’t know about that. You are in North Carolina and you are in prison!” “Link’s like, all girls wear pants!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 730: L “...this one is the mailbox of the future. I am calling it ‘The Robobox’ and it’s got a little remote because in the future, you ain’t got to go to your mailbox to get your mail. Your mailbox comes to you, man!” “That’s what happens in the future. You gotta go back to the cassettes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Sometimes I need my battery charged.” “You’re a genius, Link!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You’re so dangerous!” R “I’ve never broken anything, man. I don’t break things. That’s not my deal.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m Indiana Jones! North Carolina McLaughlin, that’s what [I] should have been!” “Think about all the things we can grab though!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Step 1: get a whip. Step 2: whip it out!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 731: R “I’m very worried with what’s happening with your body right now.” “It’s pretty difficult being next to a man behaving this way and not begin to vomit.” “This is so unscientific.” “The idea behind that one is that the peppermint or the menthol flavor will cancel out the burning sensation of the capsaicin from the pepper. There’s an asterisk next to that. It says, ‘Eddie made this up.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I seriously love peanut butter so much that I’m finding emotional comfort in eating it. Like, you’re coming through for me again, lady.” R “Why is it a lady?” L “‘Cause she treats me right.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The sound you make when you vomit. It’s so guttural, man!” L “Yeah, that’s where it comes from.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “So if you eat a hot pepper, don’t go brush your teeth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Dance out of frame.’ Oh, what a great way to end the season!” L “Oh, this is poetic!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “That’s called bonding.” “I am so sorry, Lizzie. Ew, that is so gross. I’ve never blown my nose on anybody.” Lizzie “I think I have. It’s fine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re like a bear Yellowstone, man.” “Smokeless the bear. Smokish.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-b717-1816-de51-9cd7182a286d"><span>L “We’ll be back, guys. Don’t forget about us.” (Eddie burps)</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON EIGHT</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 732: R “Link, the cat eats the rabbit. Put that in a children’s book! The cat eats the rabbit, kids. Makes the world go round. Circle of life.” “Y’all got some al-gee wafers? I like it with whole milk! Right after I get through with my Grape Nuts, I move right on to my al-gee wafers. Part of a complete breakfast. Al-gee wafers.” “I could be a bird. That’s what I’ve learned. I like birds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I got a big ol’ meatball in my mouth. Chef Boyardee come to town.” “Again, if it was warmed up and came out of a can at my grandma’s house, I might be game. But, as-is, man, this is like a bad, bad Beanie Weenie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Now that I’m starting to develop theories, I’m starting to gag.” R “I’m developing theories, and that always makes me queasy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Here’s to season 8, guys! We’re still doing this! We’re not letting up for nothing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Okay. I’m done eating. Forever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 733: R “It’s called the exo-underwear-skeleton.” “Oh wow, it’s like a cat got out of a dumpster.” “Are you a hermit that watches ‘Good Mythical Morning’?” “She’s such a gossip. I hate her.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A massage from Chase is not under the ‘best’ category.” “If so, leave a hand signal down below!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “When in doubt, get out.” “Do I have to spell out how weird it can get?” “The swell was huge and my sessions were enduring.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You gotta go all the way to ‘I hate her.” “He made us a freakin ‘Good Mythical Morning’ skateboard.” “If that’s not mythical, I don’t know what is.” “You never heard of the Whisper 2000?!?” “He cried one cashew.” “Once you break the 12 second barrier, I’m gonna start prying your hands off of me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4486-62b5-67c1-0ed5e6da7f72">Stevie “I feel like you two could talk like that for hours!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 734: R “That’s where he keeps his pocketknife, in his pocket ‘cause he’s from South Carolina and they do things right down there.” “Sampson Parker, man.” “Even better ‘cause there was a combine, it was in South Carolina, there was a fire. That’s way better than James Franco in a canyon in Utah!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is like a stupid circus act!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Ain’t no tonsils in there, ain’t no boulders in the back!” “Why we gotta cut? That’s the best part!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 735: L “That one smells like hurt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m not weak, I’m?” L “I’m strong!” R “And if I’m strong, I have a lot of?” L “Scent!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Santa Monica?” L “Yacht club.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Sure will be nice when they make this road four lanes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Washington, D.C. What are the chances.” (singing) “I believe in luck.” “I hate witches, man. I hate ‘em. Especially when I’m playing with them at horseshoes.” “I like the smell of leather.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Kiss the luck. Slurping up all the luck!” R “Why don’t you just stick to blowing darts?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c442-bc9f-d1db-1d0efbe09607"><span>R “Witches are great at horseshoes, the game. Every time I play with a witch, she has-” L “Decimated you! It’s as if she had a spell on it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 736: L “For years, maybe my entire life, my dream has been to eat cereal while bathing in cereal.” “I love it!” “I’m so happy right now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Don’t play footsie with me in a cereal bathtub.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...when five hundred pounds of cereal are dumped on you in a rapid fashion, you think you might die.” “Who would have thought, but horses eat cereal waste. Makes me look at a horse different now.” “How many people get to say they took a $7500 bath. That’s like a Wesley Snipes kinda thing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Roll out of bed and roll right, my face right into a cereal bowl.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 737: L “How do you misplace a hundred brains?” R “I don’t know. It’s a big university, man! Austin! It’s big. Everything’s big in Texas! The labs are so big, you can’t keep up with the brains!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...the world’s becoming a better place because of ‘Good Mythical Morning.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t steal, people but if you do, give it back.” R “Don’t steal people? Or don’t steal, comma, people?” L “Both! Either!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 738: L “Once you get married, you can reset as much as you want. It’s the same old tune? That’s sad.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c442-ff9d-7dde-13e6595517f3"><span>L “Oh, goodness, Rhett! It’s so adorable!” R “My hand?” L “Can I touch it?” R “Well, that’s a- sure.” L “Oh my goodness! Mm, he’s breathing on me! Nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee-nee! I just eskimo kissed-” R “My hand.” L “What?” R “That’s my hand.” L “Ugh.” R “You can’t feel the claminess?” L “You should probably shave it.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 739: L “Whenever I go across some bridges, they click. Click, click, click, click, click.” “I’ve never been rubbed by an Easter Bunny that I’m gonna admit to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You said a bad word!” (hits Rhett w/ an electric fly swatter) “I love those southern lawyer movies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fa48-ba09-d6a4-08362e140e8d">R “‘Sweaty Southern Lawyers.’ That’s the name of the movie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 740: R “We had a weird relationship back then. We communicated through Maurice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is not about us, it’s about you. Wait your turn!” “It’s a thong-gone flip flop. Get yours today!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c443-2ff2-d773-787ae949127f"><span>GMMore: L “Lurk it up!” “If I’ve learned anything that’s applicable, it’s just add ‘sickle’ on end of anything, like ‘you dumb fartsickle!’” “Alright, you second-hand spore puffs, get the heck out of here!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 741: R "I'ma so excited!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It dances around and it dodges your teeth when you try to chew it, like it's alive." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R<span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c9b3-7863-a505-73d36765d7b8"><span> </span></span>“If you go to a party and you end up dancing with jello, it probably wasn't a good party.” “I’m just going, just, straight ball.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 742: R “Keep licking your garbage cans, kids! Is that the application? That probably shouldn’t give any application.” L “And stop leaving your lollipops in my bathroom!” R “Who takes baths, anyway? I can’t fit in a bathtub.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “How are lemons made? Lemons aren’t laid like eggs, are they?” “Waiters crap lemons.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “So don’t make your bed, kids!” L “It’s not moist in my bed.” R “Next time your mom asks you to make your bed, say ‘mom, I don’t wanna die from bacteria!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 743: R “Link, what is your opinion on lizards?” L “I respect lizards, but I do not touch them.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m totally on board with the track suit.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We’re just part of the system now, Link, and we don’t even know it. I’m a lizard.” L “Person.” R “Hybrid.” L “Are you?” R “I’m very tall.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c443-72a3-8286-31c0e5b24118"><span>GMMore: R “Hold on. You wash between your shoulder blades?” L “Yeah, it’s really dirty in there.” R “I just let the water from the shower sandblast that part.” L “Is there sand in your shower?” R “No, but I mean, how dirty can between my shoulder blades get?” L “Well let me look. I’ll tell ya.” R “Unless I was some sort of athlete who grabbed things with my shoulder blades, but I’m not.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Dogsponge.com. Probably exists." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ef-5896-9eb7-8bc0e1cd03ae">L “I have a weak gluteus minimus, but you already knew that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "The sides of your butt are weak? How did that happen?" L "I never use those! I don't know why! I shouldn't have to be defensive." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ef-5896-9eb7-8bc0e1cd03ae">L “I came as close as you would come to saying, cause he sat down right next to me on the thing right next to me, he was as far from me to you right now, and I almost turned to him, I was like, ‘Newman.’” “Just be concerned for me for once.” “Therapy is the one thing I have that is not your thing, Rhett. Now, you want a part of my thing. Therapy’s my thing now. Of all types, I’m not ashamed of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 744: L <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a7fa-391c-64de-82a5edb0e7f7">“I’m obsessed with cereal, 16th century flautists, and of course, peanut butter.” </span>“Just imagine yourself in a peanut field. Close your eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a7fa-6ede-6c2e-fd92f4d29979">“16 16th century flautists.” "He went to Paris and London, we would have never known that without peanut butter!" "I think you might be bleeding peanut butter." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "The fun never ends with peanut butter. Put that on a t-shirt.... and Bill Newman." "I've never cleaned my glasses or my tongue cause I've never had peanut butter on them before." "Your love is like smoke, Bill. I'm inhaling you right now." (singing->) "They don't make pants like they used to." "I could lip sync to that guy for days." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That is the definition of Mythical.” "Can we work with a Canadian, is that legal?" "Is this what it feels like to have your haircut? It's heavy. Is your hair this heavy?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 745: R “I’m a savory man. I like savory things.” (presentation of the Ritz cracker & cheese disc/frisbee) “There’s a lot of crumbs and cheese bits in my bed growing up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 746: R "We don’t have to make everything into hats.” “He’s my blow partner?” “We’re going to be double-layer bubble buddies.” “and Link, if you screw this up, I'm gonna paddle ya."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Actually, cleaning is a form of stress relieve for me. Gives me a sense of control, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Can you make me explode, Morgan?” L “Can you make him explode?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You can’t stand on the sun. There’s nothing to put your feet on.” “Oh gosh, that’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” “Anything you swallow will make its way out.” “Milk of Magnesium: Marble Edition.” “We’ve answered a lot of important questions today.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-23e6-116a-14a4-957a488b9210">L “Now, if I swallowed this, what would happen?” “How much money would I have pay for you to swallow it?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 747: L "There are plenty of fish in the sea and it turns out, a lot of those fish are on the internet." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Bikers wanna do more than kiss, man." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a4d-7453-0ab5-2a6cfec3111c">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "I'm into Bonsai." "I think plants and love really go together." "I am very happy and excited to announce the launch of the all new RhettandLink.com, designed using and powered by Squarespace!"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 748: R "And I think that we've got a good shot at being prom king and queen, based on some of the video evidence I’ve seen."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Loungy and lazy Rhett and Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-fb0b-5ea0-8a17-cfbc2f8222a3">GMMore: R “Earplugs at night. That’s the number one rule of camping.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 749: R “Sue and Charles made a Link. They manifested a bear-child known as Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’ve always said that the pinnacle of any romantic relationship is when your partner just says ‘ball’ a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “You know you’re at a tough college where you lose your nose.” "Every time I need to pee now, I'm gonna think about an elk."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “When you lose your nose, it makes wherever you are at at that point in life, a bad deal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 750: R “Here’s a diamond answer for you, mythical beasts. Take it and use it, put it on a ring, put a ring on it.” “We called it ‘The Web’ back in 2002.” “I could take 25 minutes to get to the bathroom and then spend 25 minutes in the bathroom.” “It’s a tickle party, really.” “You’re a blubbering fiddle-burger.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Hand diamonds.” “What I would do is called ‘rest up’ before a meeting, i.e. take a nap in your truck.” “Just bloop-bloop yourself whenever you get bored.” (Bored of being bored question) “I think Chunk needs counseling.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’d be enough of a reason to kill ya.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is a woman who laid me like an egg.” “I want to go to the next slurpee pump cause that first slurpee pump attacked me.” “Here’s to Canada, here’s to Pam. Pamada.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4486-cc66-41a6-c12cc7999a0e">Jen “I got attacked by a slurpee machine.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 751: L “In college, I would eat a lot of prunes.” “It’s like the budget friendly apricot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4ab9-4686-c026-a92ef51265d2">R “You were like the prune king!” “I’m glad I didn’t know you as a baby.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 752: L “He should be doing yoga from a padded cell not from a barnyard set!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Oh, no, dad!” L “Well, somebody’s gotta wipe the bean off!” Both “Oh, my goodness.” R “I don’t like a personified turd, though. That makes me feel sorry for it when it goes away.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t care about my life! I’m throwing cortion to the wind!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 753: R “'As a kid, were you the strongest, smartest, or quickest kid in the class and at around 16 years of age, maybe all three?' Keep in mind, I knew you as a child and at the age of 16.” L “Well, then you know the answer to this. No, no, no and a big, sad no! I was working nothing at age 16.” R “Okay, this is a bad sign. Maybe you’re not a vampire.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Do appliances hate you?” L “That is a good question. I’ve been burnt by a toaster!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c447-8cd6-2bc4-91b05f1b94c0"><span>L “I’m really good at doing things that I could do.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 754: R “Come over to my house, we’re just experiment buddies.” “I became something I don’t. I don’t a skeleton. I do a human. I mean, I am a human.” “Just let the monkey happen.” “You are Howdy Doody.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I became a baby-sized face. I did not produce a Tony Braxton.” “It’s like flesh-mouth.” “Let me see if I can get a beard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You spit right in my left eye.” L “Sorry, you should keep that thing closed when I’m that close to ya.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We should just upload videos of us staring into a camera for 10 minutes and then you could play with us in a slumber party setting.” “Numbers are so crazy to me. I can’t guess stuff.” “..We have no immediate plans to do a live show.., so we’ll think about it.” “Gaming content. That’s something to think about for like a hot minute.” “I would like to go with a new hairstyle.” “I’d like to unleash the forehead.” “My forehead was revealed my entire life, it’s just that now you realize that my eyes are in the center in my head, not in the top of it.” “The Mythical Beasts have spoken. I’m okay with that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I think it’s good to know about other Mythical Beasts...” “I’m usually pretty popular with the moms, that’s surprising.” “You look so much different when you show your forehead.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 755: R “We’re not cultivating an occult.” “I almost laughed at my grandmother’s funeral.” “I have something I call ‘freeze face’, that I never laugh while making this face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “So, who’s going to give us advice?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You can’t push the merch too hard.” “Why are we the bad guys all of a sudden, because you don’t remember something.” “I can smell talent.” “Two tall people mate and get a saint bernard?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-dbfd-0c34-4d10b03589a1">R “Really friendly people with curly hair. (laughs) They’re so playful.” “‘The St. Bernard People.’ It’s a reality show that lasts like 300 years and by the end of it, you’ve got just the weirdest people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 756: R "Don't underestimate this tongue." "Has Flavor Flave ever been here?" "This is what all the smells in the world combined smell like, Link. This is it. We're smelling it for the first time! We're smelling smell!" "The Savory Boys." "You been tasting your kids' feet?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "It's like bad gravy, which is a great name for a band." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a59-b0cc-a3c8-fbc680a80c59">"It's like my kids' feet after they've been playing all day in a playground!" <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a59-eb71-285f-55933b88dda3">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "You look like a lunch lady." </span></span>"Your hints are riddles!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 757: L “Stranger than fiction, better than television, y’all!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Prisoners, they got all kinds of time. They play cards all the time. I like to picture ‘em playing Go Fish. Do you have any single white females? Oh, I do! And I recognize her!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c964-3f9c-5b1d-4f99a811ae60"><span>L “Get the dogs away! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get! Get away from the duct tape!” R “You seem like a murderer when you start doing that.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 758: R “Come hither, sleeved one. It’s a little dainty. The sweater and the object.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Did jelly have to come out just cause you poked a jelly donut? Depends on where you poke the jelly donut if jelly comes out of said donut.” “The hat is just me expressing myself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9ca-2646-8444-d5f32a3f9fa7">GMMore: R “I hear somebody saying, ‘Dashel, Dashel, slow down, Dashel! Dashel, I’m gonna take the scooter! Dashel.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 759: R “Worms are lame!” “We’re going to die of heat stroke while trying to start a fire.” “‘Everything coming out alright?’ That’s the joke I like to say when somebody’s using the bathroom. I’ve done it for years.” “I’ve known you long enough to know that you’re gonna pee me right now.” “Get your pee hand off me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“This is what our life has become. We’re sitting out in a parking lot with a bag of our own urine holding it up like this trying to start a fire.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d1-2366-5c2d-422b7dd623e0">GMMore: R “We saw the gates of hell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96d-b364-1cf9-d3b3b57e9d31"><span>GMM 760: L “There’s no spot that glitter can’t got.” “Have you ever seen Wolverine? Well, he can eat my shorts!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 761: R “I agree that for the rest of this episode, whenever you say my name, which is Rhett, I’ll say, “Here! I like beans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 762: R “With a grizzly bear, you’re supposed to play dead and it’s the only bear that you play dead with. If you run into a black bear, that’s when you make noise and get as big as possible.” L “Oh, black bear, big as possible, grizzly bear, play dead.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96d-ec63-91b0-cd37b20bae23"><span>L “‘Meese hate dust.’ That rings true to me.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 763: L “I don’t think we should be as afraid of the Galaxy Invader, we need to be afraid of the lunch lady! Don’t lay down next to a cliff when she’s around.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “My family and I included got a brand new puppy! Mythical beasts, I’d like to introduce you, this is Jade.” “She’s melted my heart and peed on every rug in the house.” “I’m a dog person now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091f-f602-bdae-37ef08d1e28a">R “The McLaughlin’s made a decision that, 2016 we’re getting a dog.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 764: R's sound bath to L: “Link, don’t think, don’t stink, don’t wink, just… Link” At end of episode, “I like beans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L's sound bath to R: “Can’t nobody rain on your charade….You are Rhett, the unburnt, the mother of dragons, closed eyes, full hearts, can’t lose, eat lightning, crap thunder.” “You’ve got to go out into life and find your other T.” After the bath, “If you start your day bleeding from your eyesockets, it’s only uphill from there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 765: R “Check your shoes for spiders, people!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “A masher, in their language, is someone who was like a sweet-talker. Someone who’s like, ‘hey, baby. You live in a cornfield because I’d like to stalk you!’ He’s a masher.” R “Oh, wow, Link. Save that one!” L “I don’t need it! I’m taken! I’m so sorry.” R “Because of lines like that, Link is now taken.” L “I never used that one, but you can have it for free. I didn’t even write it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96e-25b1-ea17-94bdb3441261"><span>Rabbit Lightning: “I’d to crush you under the weight of my love.”</span></span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 766: R "No, it's NASA." L "I don't know a NASA."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 767: R “Austrians don’t like bean bags.” “Get out of here, bruised bananas!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96e-57ec-08e6-0e8a900053a2"><span>R “Naked Canadians.” L “Wilderness. Knives. Seven days. Bonding!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 768: R “Don’t look at me, I’m just a coroner!” “I’ll pee on ya.” “So don’t hold your anger inside! Let it out! COME ON! ‘DO IT! JUST DO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. JUST DO IT! MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! JUST, DO IT!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If I ever spontaneously combust, don’t just pat, douse,man. Douse me. with what, what, with any, everything, all things! At this point, I don’t think I would care. And I would also want to save my couch.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-334e-3ccc-ff64-c8b03e9a2645">GMMore: L “This is the best accent I’ve ever done.” “Here’s Link’s unified theory of human spontaneous combustion: It’s not a thing.” “It’s called ‘people burn’ theory.” “Let us know, bo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 769: L “Flace fluids.” “Tip the dip and sniff, don’t snort.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Batman is calling us through this flashlight, Link!” “I’m tipping the dip in the bowl.” “I’m going to die at his hand. We already all know this. He will kill me. He’ll be driving the car that we’re in. Whatever the situation is, it’s going to be his fault.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “That’s how I learned how to live my life as a boy. Reading ‘Boys Life’ magazine.” “Thanks to all the mythical beasts watching from the Netherlands. Here’s three sneezes for you.” “You ever meet somebody that their resting expression was ‘about to sneeze’? And you realize after a while that, that’s just their face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “There’s nothing more satisfying than going over the edge of a sneeze that you didn’t know was gonna happen.” “Failure is not an option. Success is not an option.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c96f-99a5-042a-abb11d42ade8"><span>GMM 770: L “You paid the price. Rhett, the haggler. But the question is, how to haggle people for lower prices.” R “Oh, I have no idea. I mean, I don’t know. I mean, don’t ask me! You know me! I pay the price in the window!” L “Rhett pays the price!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 771: L “...the onion is just, it's attacking my soul!" "When in doubt, whip chocolate out.” “I got a pickle in the middle of my burger that is covered in chocolate." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 772: R “Link, I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably going to die. And by probably, I mean, you’re definitely going to die.” L “Well, you’ll probably be right there with me, so.” R “Probably.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Bob Hope, always funny. All the way to the end!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “People die of pneumonia, people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you have to say the thing you did right before you die, you didn’t do a good enough [job] to be remembered for it.” R “Oh, I’m gonna say, ‘Good Mythical Morning’ right before I die just in case you forgot.” L “I’m gonna say ‘dictionary’, like, I’m going on record. I am going to say ‘dictionary’ when I die because of this.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think my last words are gonna be ‘blaagghh.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 773: L “I have experienced superhuman strength.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Behind the wheel, lots of times, as I’m driving in traffic around here, I almost rear-end people pretty frequently,” R “I can attest to this!” L “and I have to slam on brakes and dodge, you know.” R “All the freaking time.” L “So you slam on brakes but then you’re so close, you’re going so fast that you also have to swerve in order to miss ‘em and everytime that happens, I experience a rush of superhuman arm steering strength! I’m not exaggerating when I say that from the elbow down, there’s a tingling sensation. I have super grip on the wheel.” “I have super steering ability.” R “Okay. I’ll give you that.” “I’ve only rear-ended somebody once and I’ve almost rear-ended about forty people.” R “Totally true!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’ve never been in the service business and I’m beginning to know why. ‘Cause I don’t like vests.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “You learn something new everyday, don’t ya?” L “Well, I’m gonna take a nap, if that’s the case ‘cause I’ve just learned it.” R “Oh! Good!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 774: L “In fact, take Steve Chen, co-founder of YouTube. Back in 2005, he questioned the future of YouTube by saying, ‘there’s just not that many videos I wanna watch.’ Clearly, he did not understand the power of Family Feud bloopers, Russian dash cam footage, and ‘Good Mythical Morning’!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Every time I’m in a plane, I’m like, ‘this is impossible! Think about it! This has gotta be magic!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Food capsules make large warrior women.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What happened, Joe Christmas? You got, like, your walking stick up your butt or something?” R “What?” L “You know how explorers’ll, like, get their walking stick up their butt by accident.” R “Yeah, that happens to me every time I go to the Grand Canyon.” L “Listen, whenever I would be in a bad mood, my mom would say, ‘What? You got a corncob stuck up your butt?’ That’s where I’m, that’s where I was going with that.” R “Here’s to you, Joe Christmas, and a walking stick up your butt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 775: L “And then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he’s like, he looks up at him and he’s like, ‘I am a Navy Seal. I will kill you with my bare hands,’ and part of me was like, ‘this is so weird, I gotta paddle out of here,’ but the other part of me was like, ‘that’s the most amazing thing I’ve heard anybody say in person!’” R “How does this answer Darragh’s question, ‘how do you relax with a hectic schedule?’” L “Don’t go surfing!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Short-necked, diaper-wearing giraffe gang, that’s what we are! We’re slaying illegal substances for giraffes like heartworm medication.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-6ffd-7b59-67a2dd2e1761"><span>L “So, it’s worth it to take the Ear Biscuits break, I feel like.” R “Mhm-hmm.” L “An infusion of creativity on a narrative front.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 776: R "Points for authenticity. Olivia Newton John's nipple was out the whole time." "At any moment, I may throw up a liter of vinegar onto you." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L (singing) "Nothing left for me to do, except shave your armpit."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "The vinegar is melting your nipple position." "They're backing me off of TUMS." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I will confess that we would not be here if we had not cheated in a contest." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 777: R “If you had to choose between a ninja and a pirate to be your best friend, would you choose the sweaty guy with this weird sort of British accent who’s always intoxicated and trying to steal your stuff or would you choose the totally cool guy who’s always dressed in black, keeps to himself and can silently kill anyone who’s giving you trouble?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Upgrade your tech, ninjas!” “Blackbeard would coil smoking fuses into his beard just for the effect of it. That’s just fun, y’all!” “Your mouth is open wide for the pirate booty.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Ninjas don’t have parents!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-aca2-a308-720626f54a9b"><span>GMMore: R “I’m like Batman!” “I’m gonna make so many ducks!” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 778: L "Question: how do you eat a fart?" "My ex step-father was a plumber and he had a back hoe that he dug ditches with and one time I rode in the bucket and it was amazing." "He was a nice step-father." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 779: R “You wanna have a good time?” L “Buy an electric toothbrush.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “My hand smells like Brittany.” L “That’s the best thing going for you right now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Smells like the bathroom at my uncle’s house.” R “Your uncle does this?” L “Why you need febreze when you just got matches.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What is your go-to pain reliever?” L “Time apart. Just kidding, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If I needed coffee every single morning, you bet your butt I’d be scheduling that stuff. I’d schedule it’s delivery to my mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 780: R “I miss North Carolina so much.” “Caged pumpkins can’t stand up to my deviance.” “So if you see a teen in a truck in your neighborhood, just say no to that teen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 781: R “He doesn’t like the beard. He thinks I’m a threat.” L “I think it’s more than the beard. It’s the total package.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I can’t get a sea lion to kiss my face, but I can get a shark to kiss my foot.” “Ignore the trout! Trout are boring, we all know trout are boring, but merman are exciting!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Do you wash the inside of your ears with soap?” “Turns out the area that you cannot reach on your back is a trapezoid shape.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d4fc-8520-8eaa-351e07acc4b5">L “Yeah. Of course I do. I have OCPD.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 782: R “I hate being shocked. I hate it. I hate it so much.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “It’s amazing how quickly you’ve changed. You were like a cold-hearted animal hater-” L “Well, I’m all in.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I just said 2016 is the year of the dog for me.” “I hate being shocked. I hate it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 783: L “I always associated ambidexterity with just general awesomeness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You also, strangely, this blows my mind, you hold a microphone with your left hand!” L “Yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s not for symmetry, it’s because you’re most comfortable-” L “So I can gesture with my right hand!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What foot do you kick a ball with? Well I personally know and was there and witnessed this that the only two goals you’ve ever scored in your soccer career was with your?” L “Left foot.” R “Left foot.” L “I kick most of the time with my right foot, but I’ve only scored with my left foot.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’ll high five people with either hand, like, there’s no stopping me.” R “Really?” L “Like, if you wanna high me, I can come at it from multiple angles.” R “You have been doing a lot of high-fiving lately, I’ve noticed, which I’m a little concerned about.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c971-f3b2-68d6-0ef56b02a07e"><span>R “Technically, I text with both thumbs.” L “But if you had to choose one?” R “I could not text with just my left. It’s definitely the subservient thumb. If you asked the left thumb to lead, who knows what I would text! Shh, boy!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 784: L "Proof is in the shoes." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is the place to go if you come back from the future, though. The Time Travel Institute forums. I mean, don't go to the press." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (singing->) “What’s that sound coming from my belt loop? It’s my beeper. Beep, beep, beep, beep. What’s that sound coming from my pocket?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-5fb9-968a-6f76-a20b97148a60">R “If any one of these celebrities were to actually be the time traveler, it would be Nicolas Cage.” “I’ve always wanted to play a soldier in the Civil War. That’s my dream.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 785: L “I can ride with my baby. We be in the kitchen cookin pies with my baby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 786: R “It tastes like I got to the bottom of a chicken bucket and somebody got fired...” “The brain is a muscle. The brain is the most important muscle, boys and girls.” “Look how slow he’s moving. You don’t want to eat a beetle that slowly. Like, you want to put him in there, crunch, crunch, crunch, swallow.” “You’re the man. This is the definition of mythicalness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s a brain stem on it!” R “Well, as you eat the lamb’s brain, you get to live parts of its life. So you could absorb some of its thoughts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Shay, I know we just met, but you’re about to watch me throw up.” “I’m sorry, Shay. I’m usually not this way. Actually I am. Always this way.” “This is like something you would dissect in the third year of medical school.” “Oh! You did it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It smells like a roast turkey. Mmm! Happy Thanksgiving, dad!” R “You want me to be the dad? I don’t understand what’s going on.” L “My dad always carved the turkey.” R “Go ahead, son. Eat it. It’s actually lamb’s brain. Come on son, do it for you dad. Make me proud. Eat that brain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s not prepared. It’s not, it’s food, for what?” R “It doesn’t have to get prepared. What do you want, me to give it a little speech? Hey beetle, you’re about to be eaten! Do you feel prepared? There ya go, I prepared it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, say, ‘I’m a trailblazer.’” L “I’m a trailblazer.” R “Say, ‘I’m a pioneer.’” L “I’m a pioneer!” R “I’m in the future times.” L “I’m in the future times.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Crunch crunch swallow! Show ‘em who’s boss!” Both “Crunch crunch swallow! Show ‘em who’s boss!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-c972-3796-2df2-0d624ef34590"><span>GMMore: R “But you ate a beetle. That’s a first on this show!” L “I’ve never eaten a live thing. Period.” Shay “Did you feel a little bad?” L “Yeah, really bad!” Shay “Yeah, I did, too.” L “For myself!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R "The key to happiness is low expectations."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 787: R “I’m popular with the older ladies.” “Go against instinct, Link. Follow that rule in life and you’ll be great.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I mean, it costs 25 grand to kill a human being, but you gotta pay at least 30 grand for a lizard? What world are we living in?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Let the tigers tiger. <span id="docs-internal-guid-eb4174f0-24eb-0f5f-750a-1a88e1bf0968">Let’s put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 788: R “I’m a stanky-planker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Murder-O! Fun Family Fun.” "You have a lot of facial plasticity." "I'm like a blowfish with a broken valve."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "You can't kill too many people in a home invasion." L "...unless that home is a commune."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 789: R “She loves when I call her ‘Kale-face.’” “I don’t know what it is about those Germans, they make good knives.” “I call her ‘Kale-face’ and she calls me ‘Milk-feet.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My life is a pun.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 790: R “I was just in a scary situation being next to you…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L …”because I made it all the way through the movie, and I seemed like a man even though I was shivering in my boots and I was peeing in my britches.” “...told ‘em nothing weird would happen.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 791: R “I can taste the reverse osmosis, Link!” “Too bad I don’t look more like a chicken. That would be helpful.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s cursive, don’t you know cursive?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “You never know what kind of ideas a seal can get after watching a show about witchcraft.” “Diarrhea can be cleaned up, but curses cannot be taken away.” “A hall is just a shaft sideways.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 792: L (about video games) “They’re basically books, but better.” “I’m taking issue with your pronunciation of ‘Bjork.’” “Flies can’t start stereos, but mosquitos can.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m taking issue with this being a game and I’m saying that this is a Bjork music video.” “My soul looks like a squished pancake, a square-decorated pancake man? I hope so!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: (lots of quotes)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "My wee hands are now busted." "We are going to do our first ever 'Let's Play' because we didn't know about 'Muscle March' until right now." "I also made a choice to make this peanut butter peppermint lip balm my preparation for all 'Let's Play' videos." "Caution: applying this stuff might make you happier and hungrier." "My lips feel perfectly persed for 'Let's Play.'"(?) "Well, I've got one, so I'm not asking." "This is basically 'Temple Run' for scandal-eclat muscle men." "Her is awesome." "I like a woman in a space station." "Those glutes are waggling!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Link's going strapless again." "Is a wedgie part of the deal?" "I like a woman with meat on her bones." "</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 793: R “He’s so hungy!” “Doggy Daycare by Terrare. They never come back.” “Oh, that’s a food baby if I’ve ever heard of one.” “Don’t eat the bunny, eat the bacon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...and it turns out there’s a bit of a debate as to who’s the ‘hungiest’ man ever.” “Dude ate a child.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “It’s the fluffiest of fluffy parts!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “These bunnies are survivors, y’all!” “Hold on, bunny checking my email. Bunny sending an email.” “You call the right number, we’ll show up at your doorstep with these bunnies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 794: R “So if you’ve got any balls you want people to think are moving, you just change colors real fast.” “Perceptual bias! We should start a band called that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Just flash em!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s like something you put on the side of a yacht if you’re a sad person.” R “Same boat, different destination?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Wanna feel like a man?” L “So your lips smells like peanut butter peppermint and your beard smells like an aeromatic section of the woods.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 795: R “I was convinced I had a dessert stomach.” “A little bit of crunch and a lot of love from me.” “The Hookr, the new competitor to the Dipr.” "This is like me and you in a raft on the Atlantic, just stranded, and we have these hookrs and that' it."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 796: Grace "Is that a thing? Guys like to name body parts?" L “Yeah, like, my arm’s name is Molly, the right one." R "Oh, what? Really?" L "Yeah, my left arm is named Heidi.” R "Why are both your arms women’s names?" L "'Cause I like to hang out with the ladies!" R “That’s literally the funniest thing you’ve ever said. You just peaked with that Molly-Heidi arm joke." L "Really?" R "And I was here for it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "When I'm pumping gas I'm like "Mmm I'd like to drink some of that gas." But I know I shouldn't... and so I don't."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 797: R “Your mom has a way with words.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (referring to velour track pants w/ the word “SUCCULENT” on the butt) “Do those exist? Because I’m in the market.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 798: R “I know none of you care, so I’m just doing it for this camera: SPORTS JOKE.” “Papa was a freemason.” “I’ve always wanted to call myself ‘Big Buck.’” “Who’s to say that there’s not something called a Build-a-Burger?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “MOZART.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 799: R "Peanut Butter flavored!" “What I discovered is that I just bleed and then heal.” "We're going to be pros by the time you start bleeding." “I thought you popped your finger. I thought we just learned that your hands are balloons.” "You gonna faint?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "So we're pleased to announce the 'Rhett & Link Blood Type Kit.'" "I've told this story of, no, of accidentally cutting my finger trying to open a barbie doll a few Christmas's ago and I fainted into my father-in-law's arms at the kitchen sink. Uh, I'm never going to live that down." "See? Look at you, you're the one doing the neck dance!" "Milk it like a teet." "I gotta give you my meat, you gotta give me my veggies." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Nothing ever actually works on this show and it did!" "I was hoping that you were going to be type B so that together we would be BO." "A-OOOO!" "Don't think about me licking." "I think if there's a Tom Selleck in this group, it's me..." "I think Leo would be a bad boyfriend." "She makes irrational decisions like cutting her hair really short. That's something that you would have done back in the day." "She puts out her own perfume, you've thought about that." "I'm a blood genius!""This is a moment in history and it's been captured!" "I discovered I'm a blood genius.""I'm going to put that on my LinkedIn profile: Blood Genius." "Send me a picture, Chase." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "A-OOOO!" "You lick your lips sometimes, it's weird." "I like to walk over fans while wearing dresses." "I like to think of myself as a Tom Selleck type." "I come from a long line of farmers." "She puts it out, she, like, emits it.""I've always thought of John Lennon as unforgiving." "Is Rhett going to go nuts?" "Come close to the Blood Genius." "I don't want to be advisor to the Blood Genius." "The Blood Genius has died."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 800: L (singing) “People come from foreign lands just to stick it to the Stickerman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "'Icesis Whitmore' asks that we find one quote from all 800 episodes." Both: "Good Mythical Morning!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Look at your name. This is to be the spelling of your name for the rest of history: 'L, i, n, g, c, k.' That is how you spell Link." L "'L, i, n, g, c, k. and Rhett, 'R, e, t.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Oh, you're 'Lick and Rhett' on this one." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 801: L "I'm not just a peanut butter lover, I'm an all butter lover!" "I can think of no better butter than butter butter." “Why are you having fun?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Smells like Vegas." L "Smells like a curbside in Vegas." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca1b-df15-4015-76f5243fd1bc"><span>GMM 802: R “...there’s a couple ways to make room for more oysters. I mean, there’s a couple of orifices that I can think of.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’m more of a sausage man.” “It’s for kids and sad people.” (referring to cheese pizza) - submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/NouranMohamedAbdelaziiz">Nouran (The Dough Faced Dolphin)</a></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I once ate 30 ears of corn, which is not really that big.” “I once ate 55 chicken wings.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 803: R "You mean it gets worse? It gets more yellow. Whoa, look at it. And then it becomes like yellow pudding."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 804: L “How do you get a llama on a surfboard? You gotta make it want it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “How else do you find out if a llama can surf? It’s got to want to first.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 805: Both: “That’s a sick flow.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “There is no finger.” “Always looking for a place to put a finger: Link Neal.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 806: R “Boom! Turkey Man!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s like Oprah in here, except it’s goats.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-4a37-bd22-7938-93492151515d">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/NouranMohamedAbdelaziiz">Nouran (The Dough Faced Dolphin)</a>)</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 807: L “I think they made turkloos, which is like igloos made out of frozen turkeys.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R ”Helping fat male turkeys is the first known use of the turkey baster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Here’s another fun fact: I have a U.T.I right now.” R “I hope it’s not contagious.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Turkeys love freedom, just like us.” R (making fun of Link) “I don’t skip breakfast on Thanksgiving. Who do you think I am?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 808: R “I’m familiar with the anatomy of a turkey.” “You always kill the guy with the gloves. That’s a sign that he’s got other things that you need.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ca2a-106e-c5ab-178dff80a55f"><span>(singing) R “We got a turkey in a trash can.” L “Turkey in a trash can.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore R “You gotta find the meat.” L “Eat the turkey butt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you pull in the right place, the meat will reveal itself."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 809: L “Tongue twisters aren’t broring.” R “Don’t criticize the size of a man’s cob.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore R “Pilgrims loveth the beardeth oil.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 810: R “It’s a Mythical Thanksgiving Connection.” L “I’m thankful for semi-colons, ‘cause they make commas look STUPID!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Smitty and Smutty. That's what we call ourselves when the cameras aren't rolling."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 811: R “She doesn’t need a waffle iron, she just needs to go out back.” “She got a one waffle iron for every inch of crack she showed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Well, that would be Brown Friday.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 812: R “I follow Beyonce on Instagram and that was a good choice on my part.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘She went with him.’ This isn’t middle school, these are celebrities we’re talking about.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 813: R “And that’s when she learned, polar bears don’t like Coke, they like woman.” “It’s like the best kids book of all time: What Does Zing Dong Do?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What does Zing Dong do?” “Zing Dong don’t do those things.” “When I’mina scale a fence, sometimes I feel like I need to get naked first just to make sure nothing gets snagged.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “A gorilla could be my co-host for this show.” L “Screw you, man!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Ethics class, with Rhett and Link.""I would die for you. If you were a gorilla, I would not die for you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 814: R "Do you have any tips for me going into this next round?" Miranda Sings "Yeah, don't be really bad." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I'm batting' cling up here." “McPapaRomPom, that’s my artist name.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: Miranda "How are you going to get what you want if you don't sit on the man's lap?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That is the currency with Santa is lap-sitting." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I want some fancy panties...”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 815: L “If your eyeballs and your nipples are made out of the same thing, you got bigger problems than worrying about the temperature rising.” “Charleston, where it all goes south.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “And then right after I bowl, things get a little weird sometimes.” "Nobody said that you could put boobs in my bird shirt."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "We don't touch teeth from other families."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Jen makes us fight all the time."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 816: R “It’s a bacterial buffet. That’s what’s happening in your pits. That’s what smells.” “You responded like you tasted soup. Mmm.” “I wore a tank top again, Chase.” “That’s the worst smell that has come out on this entire thing, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Let me read the ingredients...old paint."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “This is what’s it like being a dad.” “I’m not your son, I’m your left side.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R " We’re double-fisting this burger." “We got too many balls in this family.”</p>Rhett & Link Quotes from The RhettandLinKast Live, Good Morning Chia Lincoln, The Mythical Show, Ear Biscuits, & More!tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-06-06:2452419:BlogPost:20870702016-06-06T20:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">Rhett & Link GMM Quotes</a> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes"><br></br></a></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-78d87cf4-8b60-a134-7568-7b60e0278b58"><span>*Due to a word limit issue on my original post, I have to separate the Talk Show Quotes into separate blogs, so this one is for Good Morning Chia Lincoln, The Mythical Show, Ear Biscuits,…</span></span></p>
<p><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">Rhett & Link GMM Quotes</a> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes"><br/></a></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-78d87cf4-8b60-a134-7568-7b60e0278b58"><span>*Due to a word limit issue on my original post, I have to separate the Talk Show Quotes into separate blogs, so this one is for Good Morning Chia Lincoln, The Mythical Show, Ear Biscuits, and if there's room, other video series and more.</span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>THE RHETTANDLINKAST LIVE - (in order, not all listed yet & not all will be listed - some are too short or are music-only shows)</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a027-2027-e8e9-57ffb1725834"><span><span style="text-decoration: underline;">RhettandLink First Test 11/07/07</span><br/></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a027-2027-e8e9-57ffb1725834"><span>R "[Look at] how shiny my forehead is." L "Oily, man. Why are you so oily?" R "It's a sign of intelligence." L "Oily head is a sign of intelligence." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Cornhole Song, Senators, Voice of Mashed Potatoes</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02a-f588-f6e3-de6f8ffcd63c"><span>"We're trying to assert our comedic dominance on the internet live airwaves." <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02c-ad29-9d3c-4d9c680480e9"><span>"We each have a wife." </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02b-a793-e92f-f7a32288ec73"><span>“I’m hungry because of the voice.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02c-4b71-736a-a153f4cc8edd"><span>“You’re only going to like it if there’s something a little bit wrong with you.” </span></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02c-8661-a057-dc0844f857f9"><span>"...I am so in tune with the present, that it's like the future is just a natural extension of my own brain; my frontal lobe." <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02d-deb2-8e87-9aef8d04a9ef"><span>"I think we, ultimately, that we are a slave to creating things, that we can't stop and we have to do it." </span></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02e-2166-8c9c-13dd4c8d55e5"><span>"If you think that she wants you to do it, the answer is 'yes'." <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02e-5f0c-4756-eb93c0976bb9"><span>"Link and I don't have day jobs. You are looking at our day job right now..."</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02c-f452-a358-76e50470d3d6"><span>Commenter "How did you marry a UNC-er?” R "Well, because love is blind, baby. I love my wife so passionately, that I'm able to overcome that she is from the enemy."</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02e-e8b9-cccf-0e987f14b731"><span>Rhett And Link- Show03</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02e-e8b9-cccf-0e987f14b731"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02f-889b-7e80-228094a91bd0"><span>“Part of character building as a child is getting crappy gifts.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02f-dcb1-2b4c-3b9565c1969a"><span>“Blue is the underrepresented color of Christmas.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a030-3187-a9c8-159efe4d0fd7"><span>“I think I hit my own resonant frequency.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a030-6c33-c5f9-fee565b8c537"><span>“I don’t wanna ruin my hair, that’s why I don’t put headphones on. This haircut is too important to put headphones over it.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a030-ca3a-6a9f-b4aff3a2d708"><span>“I was what they called, ‘the early adapter’.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a031-2361-6125-e955bfd27888"><span>“Well when you’re gonna crash a slumber party, I mean, you gotta go straight for the baked beans.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a031-68bd-7dbf-b48cecfc12c7"><span>“We don’t make products that you use, we make the products that you use better.” </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a02f-fd9a-53cc-015e9fa74c5c"><span>“We are gonna get festive on you!” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a031-880f-015a-5eb3e7a3d189"><span>“Don’t salt the chips, salt the salsa.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a032-033d-1981-a22bc007d4b4"><span>“You matter to us. We would not be here at this card table if it was not for you.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a032-3e21-39af-4ce65fbce89e"><span>Holiday Limbo Show with Impromtu Singing</span></span></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a032-3e21-39af-4ce65fbce89e"><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a033-5bf6-dabe-c3231fc733df"><span>“You are important.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a036-e85a-f91d-2086cad68b8d"><span>“I know my mom loves me because my mom gives me peanut butter candy.” “How do you say love to Link? It’s spelled peanut butter.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a038-21a4-03b3-cfe034f99cf8"><span>“Because you can please all the people all the time, but it’ll kill you. That’s the premise that we operate on.” </span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a034-1a74-8808-8dbc13dd5321"><span>R "Set your expectations low..." L “It’s the ‘let’s relax show’...”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a034-1a74-8808-8dbc13dd5321"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a035-552a-f52f-60192645dd60"><span>R “Under-promise and over-deliver.” L “Under-promise, over-deliver, underestimate the enemy.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a036-bc72-012d-aa954745ad64"><span>“For now, the wives will remain a mystery.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a037-e446-88c7-628324b1bb5b"><span>“The McRib has had four Farewell tours at McDonald’s, but it keeps coming back.” "I am going to say 'hello' to Rebecca Grace." <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a038-d4b7-1285-a4d0b03b1c0c"><span>“I went to superdog island and all I got was this torn limb.” (->t-shirt) <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a039-6695-4995-922701ae0e59"><span>“...this RhettandLinKast has been brought to you by the letter ‘E’ and in the key of E.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a03b-920c-62c4-6b65e29bde1b">WalMart & Wild Animals in the Basement</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a03c-206c-5353-0e57a7fb6dc2"><span>“We are committed to providing you with the most entertaining hour of internetainment of your entire week.” L "That's a bold statement." R “Well, I'm committed to it. I’m bold.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span>R "It's a detached chinstrap. It's sort of a new thing for 2008...It'll be all over the local high schools within a week." <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a040-5348-d89b-414cda86c1c2"><span>“It’s a half beard. It's [the] lower regions, it's the nether regions of a beard.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a042-df47-71cb-7e33a5cdfaec"><span>“I think you could get me to eat cat vomit.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a044-4435-a312-2a416867dd26"><span>“Rabbit was my nickname in high school.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a042-396c-47e0-12ce33d04cfc"><span>“I just love to watch gravy being poured over anything.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a043-70be-4e80-31645419db04"><span>“My hands are salty...” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a043-9faa-ce57-d9a030263156"><span>“Allison, this has been a dream come true. I always wanted to host a cooking segment where a total idiot was sitting beside me and singing.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a043-f4b6-e7f3-1d915edffccb"><span>“Every woman wants her man to hand-make the chocolate.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a042-71bc-1b1b-0d5355b84acd"><span>“I’ve never made anything.” R “Yeah, this is a first for Link.” L “I’m married.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a043-2cbb-dcb7-3e4d1ea00acd"><span>Allison “...you of course washed your hands before we started this, right?” L“Yes.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a044-ba1f-426e-d8b459d5a40b">Wales Song, Movie Warnings, and Gregg</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a04c-149d-b20b-25fa9ec963ab"><span>“You know, that's the whole thing about the Earth and the Sun and time is that at any one point in time, it’s different points in time…” Rhett - “It’s wonderful.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">Commenter <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a047-0de0-01d1-d03f5523ad85">“Have you guys actually been to Wales?” L “Only in dreams.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a04e-8f89-ef99-f7680abfe9f4"><span>“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a04e-b8b8-e6d6-0225f6b1dd7f"><span>“We’re movie snobs, so we’re picky.” “Is this <em>the</em> Gregg? Is this the three G Gregg?” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a053-c22e-f323-454f10b663f2"><span>“I hate the phone.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a054-00fe-d0c8-d6a1235d8af8"><span>“Business is based on relationships.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a054-3af0-ec6a-9c41d41548ae"><span>“...Gregg matters to us.” </span></span></span></span></span></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a051-fe05-40ae-a8529a1aaa4b"><span><br/></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a04e-fb94-6fd5-b45e12bd91a6"><span>“That movie, I might as well have stuck my face out the window onto pavement at 55 miles an hour for two hours.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a04f-366a-114c-9724e509e092"><span>“This was like sticking my hands into a pit of vipers...and having vipers kill me slowly for two and half hours…” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a050-58d7-43d9-5ae560315e65"><span>“Lord of the Rings is best trilogy of all time. It’s better than Star Wars.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a050-acfe-57ab-03c4572c2d6e"><span>“Rebellion of the Dirty Sith.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a054-d3f5-b297-27a132914716"><span>“Gregg’s the man.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>Gregg <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-a054-8212-3791-9c154ae4ab10"><span>“I just wanted you to see that I called so you know that I care.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd88-655f-d7e8-110b7563961c">American Idol, Rapping, More</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd88-bac0-7b99-66b38b61f857"><span>L “If the internet was a snowplow, then we would be, this show right here would be the blade. No, it wouldn’t be the blade. We would be on the blade.” “We would be on the blade of the snowplow pushing the snow, and you are with us on the blade!” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd89-1e90-e751-6a7453d0dde9"><span>“A vision statement is supposed to be chewed like cud if we were cows.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd8a-0f57-0c87-9741d14707f1"><span>“If I keep talking, I’ll make a wig out of my mouth.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd8a-6793-4473-2e82f5490525"><span>“Electrical tape fu man chu. That is the future of facial hair.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd8a-9158-2c05-4368fdd6727f"><span>“Our fanbase is thoughtful.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd8a-dd20-6b13-96f9dbc12ab2"><span>“He’s mooning us with his face.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd8b-422f-5b7b-8ece561156c3"><span>“Never wear a shirt that has a neck with a diameter bigger than the diameter of hair you have established with your razor around your neckline.” </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>R (after American Idol song premiere) <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd89-95a7-252e-1ff6899ffcaa"><span>“That might be the peak of our career.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd8a-b159-6f22-a8ff9fefa32c"><span>“We make love connections here on the RhettandLinKast Live.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd8b-122e-4f53-9764ef877b0c"><span>“That’s what I’m here for. I’m here to temper him.” </span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd8b-8732-c7a7-140f9c0ff1f0">Use Planet of the Apes to Meet Women</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd9b-3aa8-02c3-56c5d88ecc52"><span>“I thought that the ladies would compare us to the ape men on the screen, and suddenly we would become very appealing.”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cd9c-042f-30fc-8f9a447acbaa">Alexis Cohen interview, +more!</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb0-3677-9f31-c940663c4bad"><span>“I’m sorry for being so insensitive.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb4-cd42-7a16-99f77830766f"><span>“You’re special. You mean something to us…” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb5-4fbc-b3ed-abae277c4eed"><span>“We wanna take you there with us.” </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb5-0bac-23d1-6a780ee60609"><span>“1 out of 5 famous people are nice.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb5-8cd1-a55d-0dffe48e9577"><span>“She’s a media darling.” “She’s a passionate woman.” </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb6-5dbf-d2b0-657692f856ea"><span>R “You’ve been distracting me all night.” L “We’re friends.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb6-b8ed-f3d3-b5b9ec17753d">Office Hour- Semi-Pro Movie review</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb7-3fb2-0982-a21a5541c9c6"><span>“Lick some of that zinc and you won’t get my sickness. Link the zinc. Good name for a band.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb7-b6a9-5be2-316ccbe56e77"><span>“That’s the beauty of the internet is that we not only can be reasonably sure that you’re full of crap, but we can prove it.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb7-f7a4-27b6-46edf7516f14"><span>“As a community, we can solve world problems...” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb8-3a22-1d04-d1763b7afe2d"><span>“He is living the dream that we have always had and that is to have both a rap and a movie career and we have succeeded in neither so far, but he’s living the dream.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb8-b703-d7a9-02e51e84c5d0"><span>“...that was a good movie regardless of what critics and you think.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-cdb8-de49-4395-a326bacb8576">Sickness, Confessions, President Possum</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ce4c-cf56-364e-c6833f846b69"><span>“I think we’re co-workers.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ce4d-2e40-a43a-2ec1f0dd10ab"><span>“You had knee-to-knee contact which is a universal symbol in fourth grade for ‘hey, I want you to go with me because I’m never gonna get up the guts to ask you to be my girlfriend, but I can for sure put my knee under this desk against your knee under your desk.’” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ce4d-ac32-fbd7-74011c254fbd"><span>“We do not call each other and decide what we’re gonna wear.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ce4e-0ec4-1506-7bf4f920963b"><span>“Our job is to make internet videos for you to watch, and if enough of you watch them, then people who wanna sell you stuff that we also like and agree to will buy ad space in some form or another in association with the stuff that we produce, and we sincerely hope that you’re okay with that because that’s the only way for us to continue to do what is our job and that is to engage, entertain, occasionally inform you.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ce54-7f88-3198-55398ee5185f"><span>“We’re people.” </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ce51-f9eb-686e-12de3a81b65d"><span>L “...because what we want our job to be is to be entertainers and to be comedians.” R “Right.” L “We wanna write funny songs, and we wanna perform it for you. We wanna go places and do things and have fun in such a way that when you watch it, you connect with us, you connect with people, and you have fun and you’re entertained!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ce53-3cfd-e840-1b9408610071"><span>R “This is cutting edge. This whole live internet streaming.” L “We are on the cutting edge of the saw.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ce55-4ed3-afee-5673e9df8d81"><span>R “...we will be there with you and Steven [Seagal] in the RV in 2016." Link - “And he's gonna say, 'You know who sent me? The Possum sent me. Don’t you forget it.'”</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d337-e02b-11b2-a54f1730962e">Valentines Prep, Cooking, iPod Song</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d338-e6c9-ab6b-6dd3136ec818"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33a-81e3-fb1e-90906be51ab2"><span>“Whether you love Valentine’s Day or hate it, we are here and we are preparing you for it.” </span></span></span></span></span>“Things move without touching them.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d339-6336-8972-69ef9041a071">“At my home, in the Lamont home [winks], every day is Valentine’s day. Ask my wife, she’ll tell ya.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33b-162d-2752-19b53b1e7419"><span>“How does the voice of food get food poisoning?” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33b-a4c4-8a9e-a1ac44f96bff"><span>“Our audience is really smart.” “Don’t be racist about your chocolate, people.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33b-e165-c035-5ec1e697a060"><span>“Women have no sympathy for mules ‘cause they’re sterile.” </span></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33d-583f-a7b0-0620595a3170"><span>“Tell them to wake up and smell the internet because the internet smells sweet, it smells good and it smells even better when it's live...”</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33b-3e4e-63a7-8b7cbdab76b3"><span>L “For Easter, I’d get always get the white chocolate bunny.” R “Yeah, you were the weird kid.”</span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33e-5399-0e46-31da9a48e722">Office Hour- Gregg allergies and more</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33e-a413-f969-5f825805f910"><span>“Our goal is to get to a point where we can provide you with an unending stream of entertainment that brightens your life and enables us to continue living and making that stream of entertainment.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33f-a20e-de89-58849a451509"><span>“I’m tired of hearing myself talk about the technical issues...” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d340-2311-75b5-fc670d74e87e"><span>“The best way to learn how to make videos is to make them and then to be honest with yourself and let people tell you what they think about them.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33e-f4aa-6e04-47bd126d8d9c"><span>“Find something on ustream right now that is more engaging than what we’re doing...” “We’re being real.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d341-866d-83f1-7b53fcc41c26"><span>“Every phone call is about leads.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33f-36c2-9334-51fd37e33fb4"><span>L “But a lot of times, we’re not in a good mood. We’re not happy.” R “I’m not in a good mood most of the time. You probably already know that.” L “We save up all of our good mood for when the camera’s rolling, but then we’ve short-circuited that facade by saying ‘you know what? We’re gonna stream live twice a week, and we’re gonna do this office hour, and we’re gonna try this,’ but what it does is, it opens you up to having to be totally yourself.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d33f-d8e6-c00f-bc092f0b085d"><span>L “You always have to be ‘on’ on a certain level.” R “I value my privacy much too much for that.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d340-9ee4-980e-93559627b7aa"><span>L “I don’t remember you not eating anything that I ate when we were in college.” R “We didn’t eat anything in college. All we ate was french fries with ranch and bacon.” Gregg “And Hamburger Helpers.” R “And he’s not allergic to pasta and he’s not allergic to meat which is the only two things that we ate for four and a half years.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">Gregg “I’m alive today and it’s all thanks to my doctor.”</p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d341-ff5a-cc0b-0ee560f2c539">Goth vs Emo, Dead iPod Song</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d343-26b5-e397-480bfbe64e4b"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d343-5000-1ee2-6ec2e555f9a6"><span>“I wouldn’t mind my hair being like this at all times. Really. If I’d let it go, [I think] this would happen.” </span></span>“I’m gonna put some ice in my Coke and then I’m gonna sit down and drink it with a frog.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d344-88e0-7a9d-ad8f07450cf9"><span>“When all else fails, descend into the cave, the depths of the cave.” </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d343-a165-747f-859acb983bec"><span>“Montel brings people together.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d343-d4a8-6beb-edbb63d57d76"><span>“This is a family friendly show...” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d344-50e8-5d05-22d829d53d20"><span>“We like to keep our personal lives and our friend lives separate from our Rhett & Link lives.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d344-cbff-e3ec-a3ca885050f0"><span>“I only watch the news to see the anchor mess up.” </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d346-5077-db57-9a4092e58975">Oscars+Idol Recap+LiveSongs</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d346-9fd5-cae1-2987e037dc93"><span>“This is good, clean fun! Open your ears!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d346-d6e6-1055-5b42dd17e72e"><span>“We will get this straightened out.”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d347-249e-4869-aaf094961547">Rhett and Link</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d347-51bb-d75a-10d91da377ef"><span>R “Sleeping is what they call, 'the little death.'”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d349-6a63-1f78-49e1e7c4961e">Untitled Video rhettandlink 1</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "You're special..."</span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d34b-1efb-6cd8-6c2a66e91a3c">Happy Birthday LilFigs29</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d34b-5388-3541-360dbe253f73"><span>“This is for you, LilFigs.”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d34c-2694-9ad6-94a4e04ee117">Food Cart Song and Gazebo on Craigslist</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d34c-06d5-f13b-f6debd8e54af"><span>L "We are on the edge of the snowplow."</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d34d-3575-daa3-8f7d15b56e5c">___andLinKast</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d350-9a0e-c8a8-e80ff4a93499"><span>“Should Rhett be allowed to have children, you know? That’s really the question. That’s what I’ve been thinking about all day, you know?” “It’s too late.” “This is his second child. It just gets worser by the moment, doesn’t it?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d350-cdb6-7858-ddfc81838f75"><span>“Proud to know him. Y’know, he is going to herd sheep one day. And he’s gonna teach people the proper way to spell ‘Shepherd.’ Welcome to the world, son. Call me Uncle Link. But that doesn’t mean that I’m gonna buy you a birthday present. Or… or an expensive one. I’ll get you a little something. Y’know, it’s just like, we’ll be on the way to your party and I’ll be like, “Did you get him som- oh- here, let’s pull in that gas station, we’ll get him some Pixy Stix.” Y’know? I’ll be your uncle that gives you the Pixy Stix. Um, and that’ll be our little arrangement. See, now I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to Shepherd, like, years from now, when he’s going back through archived footage on the internet, and he’s realizing that, y’know, I gave him a big portion of the show when it was my time to shine! Y’know, Rhett’s nowhere to be seen, I let him get on the phone, I let him talk about you, and, uh, he talked about the angelic janitor more than he talked about you. But you know who loves you, Shepherd. I’m here for you, man. I got some Pixy Stix right here in my back pocket for you.”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Concert (Practice!) + Remembering 9/11</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d351-a558-0d71-76001cfb576e"><span>R “We do this stuff for you.”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Guac Extras and Knee Injury Show</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d354-e512-d353-ad7722e7464e"><span>L “We’ll take views any way we can get ‘em. Exploiting the children is now fair game.”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d35b-b0f4-5d95-d5380bba301f">Phone Update: LA</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d35c-2f5b-bdc5-e045c8d5bb04"><span>“Does my hair look fuzzy today?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d35c-063b-8629-b685a9d0e320"><span>“Something exciting will happen here. Something exciting has already happened here.”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d35d-6c26-cd8f-2c5fe6c3c80c">TV Theme Song Show</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d35d-ad12-13a4-0082a4040ea4"><span>“That’s what you get here at the RhettandLinKast. You get things that are only shown in pilots, baby!”</span></span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d360-f0c7-582c-9ba30bcc4e0c">The RhettandLinKast Live 06/11/09</span> <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d360-f0c7-582c-9ba30bcc4e0c">07:08PM</span></span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d35d-ad12-13a4-0082a4040ea4"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d360-f0c7-582c-9ba30bcc4e0c"></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d361-d74c-4558-55a164fa5f62">L “You’re special. You’re also weird, but we’re weird and birds of a feather kinda thing.” “Internet peanut butter. Everybody loves it except for the people it kills...Put that on a t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-d362-a2f0-7824-27d7facbca41"><span>R “Don’t die on the toilet and never feed Diane after midnight.” </span></span></span>“And then Link says, 'Sure will be nice when they four-lane this road.'”</p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe1-5381-c0b6-b026755aaddc">Embarrassing Oedipus Kast</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe1-2303-fcf2-5bec24b39fe1"><span>L “I can’t believe us in high school.” </span></span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe1-e661-6929-a4fb1f448271"><span>LinKast: Naming Link’s Next Son</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I'm in charge here."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe3-9881-bb6c-5114c775ae06">B.E.A.S.T. Kast</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe3-db1a-3fa9-c2aeb1a076de"><span>“Daryl is on the edge of internetainment.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe4-8eea-7038-80ddcbca9231"><span>“Our birthdays only have ‘1’s and soon, we will be number 1’s.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe5-a964-9259-e9d346d1610f"><span>“I’m a slave to your whims and, you know, your reactions.” “...we are comedians, we are not a real people.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe6-ad55-6ff7-3121bc37e9e1"><span>“We are not real people. Real people cannot be friends.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe7-2f1d-1f66-a8fe537253e7"><span>“My prerequisite to buying something from something is just being able to remember the password.”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">ustreamer question <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe5-159a-6616-ae53b71eec7e"><span>“What does B.E.A.S.T. mean?” L “Broadcast Entertainment At Secret Times.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe6-e800-adb5-797dcc34481b"><span>“Of course, we’re friends! We’re not brothers.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe8-85fa-241b-2c9c0ddf7f6b">B.E.A.S.T. Kast Live 04/01/10</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe8-ca27-6552-84c9b15d51d3"><span>“The foundation of manipulation is trust.” </span></span></span>“Ben will be a chapter in the book that we write one day.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe9-bf45-5ba8-82a6147eee0a"><span>“It’s like a misplaced sequoya.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffea-11ce-dca9-2acea5946989"><span>“Everybody has a favorite tree that they have substituted for a girl and carved stuff into. COME ON!” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffea-5800-11df-371902940f33"><span>“We would have a better friendship if you hadda taken some stuff out on that tree.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffea-8385-e6ac-398fa457c87b"><span>“Sometimes I do things that you don’t know about...”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffe9-790b-7bd3-2d3db2067fd9"><span>“It was a mythical tree!” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffea-deb7-8ce9-eb5ea5e8bba5"><span>“We thought that we were going to be in a Snuggie commercial.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffeb-5b09-4439-7de615addbd4">B.E.A.S.T. Kast!</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-ffeb-9e38-8b07-5b4466d80b66"><span>“Good to have you see us.</span></span></span>” <span id="docs-internal-guid-19630b60-fff2-e873-7689-736cf3bbeb06"><span>“You are the key to what we do.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We don’t like to commit to much of anything except that we will always love you and we will always be here for you and we will never change in ways that really matter.” R “And we will, even if I begin to lose my hair, I will begin taking plugs from my beard and reinventing my exact haircut for the rest of my life. So you don’t have to worry about that either.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>INTERNET VIDEO DON'TS</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">Part 1: Don't: Upload your Pan Flute lessons.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Part 2: Don't: Overuse the cheesy effects and transitions that came with your free editing software.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Part 3: Don't: Use your video blog to break up with your girlfriend.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">THE LILLINGTONIANS </p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 1: R "Senator! Our worst fears have come true." Senator Morgan "Did you lose our Justin Timberlake tickets?" R "No." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 2: Pop "Put your arms where your mouth is." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 3: R "Look, his arms are moving!" Kay "That's relatively normal." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">SEABORNE&ROACH</p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep1: R "Well, Rooster was my nickname in high school."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep2: L "So what does that make it, phone time?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep3: L "You haven't said anything about my mustache." R "What do you want me to say about it?" L "I don't know. At least acknowledge it." R "Okay. I acknowledge your mustache."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep4: R "In 1996, two men graduated from high school. They probably entered culinary school and opened up a Japanese Cajun fusion restaurant that was a miserable failure. Today they're trying to make a living as private investigators. If you have an insignificant problem and limited funds, and you can find them, and trust me, you'll probably be able to find them, maybe you should hire Seaborne & Roach."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep5: R "But it turns out, it's impossible to not look like a dork when rollerblading."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You can't think about nothing. Everybody's always thinking about something."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep6: R "Tell me something that might be a lie." L "Alright. Back in high school, I was the guy who peed in your locker." R "What? That was you? It took me, like, six weeks to get that smell [off] my European history book, man. What were you thinking?" L "I'm lying." R "Don't joke like that. It's not funny."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">SURROGATE SHARERS</p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep.1: L "Mom, engineering is harder than LEGOs." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "The only test I consistently pass is the one where I smell my dirty jeans to see how many more times I can wear them." "...I'm going to be able to focus more on things like snacks and naps." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep.2: L "You know, it doesn't matter how bad things get. When I get a text from her that says, 'hey, pookie,' I know everything's gonna be alright." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep.3: R "You don't need me in here, sleeping or studying, while you and your girlfriend perform voodoo rituals." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "And maybe you'll get lucky and get a new roommate who doesn't have a sense of smell." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep.4: L "What do you want me to do? Ask you what your name is? That's not good for anybody." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep.5: R "Don't worry. I put most everything in the trash." L "And I cleaned up really good with your bath towels, and put them back just like I found them." R "I came out, played it cool for thirty minutes, then I came up to you and said, 'Somebody blew it up in the bathroom. I think it was Daryl." L "It wasn't Daryl." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep.6: L "It'll be just like the good ol' days. Mom, you'll make an awesome beef stroganoff, Dad, you'll come home from a hard day's work, and I'll eat and watch television." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep.7: L "Sometimes I question if you snack on roadkill." R "It's like a bird flew in your mouth and died." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I know you can beat this mouth funk. I believe in you."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep.8: R "One year, you got me a freeze-dried pigeon. I'm not sure if it was a decoration or a snack." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You're so good at giving bad gifts, I almost have to respect it." "Next year, do me a favor. Go to a random dumpster and stick your hand in there and grab the first thing you touch and give me that. It'll probably be an improvement."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GOOD MORNING CHIA LINCOLN</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 1: R “We got a bunch of dead birds, we got a bunch of dead fish. What’s next?” “Don’t eat the birds, people in Arkansas.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s like a very dangerous amusement park. Don’t eat the birds at Bird City."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 2: R “I don’t like honking the horn at people, I feel like it’s inappropriate.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 3: L “I became fully a man by getting an HD television...I passed into full dad-hood, and man-hood, I guess…” “We’re totally men now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 4: L “We like each other so much in a brotherly way that it seems like we don’t like each other."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 5: R (in radio voice) “Make sure you call in tomorrow morning for your chance to win a bowl of spaghettios.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">(in normal voice) “I have no control over my radio voice.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s promoting fantasy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 6: L “..and we are moving at the speed of conversation.” “Leave the cuts to the emotional confused teenagers.” (don’t worry, he apologizes for this one.) “ “Walking into the gym and seeing Rhett in shorts kinda creeped me out."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I'm the coach with the hoodie." “It all starts with keeping your shirt tucked in, people.” "...you could be an all-star in the Suck League.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 7: L “Growing up, that’s who I wanted to be: a weatherman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I could see you doing that… in your argyle sweater.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is my winter weather sweater. Don’t say anything about my sweater.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 8: L “My glasses are foggin’ up I’m gettin’ so hot just thinking about it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 9 L “My tongue is much longer than that. I’m only showing you the tip of it.” “I’m an over-chewer, I'll admit to that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I don't think that Link's tongue is that much bigger than mine. I think we have average-sized tongues, I don't know, we've never measured them." "It's not about tongue size." “Sometimes, I just stop and just watch you chew.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 10: L “How do you discover anything that is the absence of anything?” “Did you hear about that guy who rides his pet mammoth to class every day? I think his name is like, NASA, or something.” “You are a true mythical beast when you’re a loyal viewer of this show. Thank you.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 11: R “I have that skin condition that Michael Jackson had, I’m turning white.” “Your eyebrows are beginning to wiggle like you’re really uncomfortable.” “You run the risk of getting burned, and that makes your wedding night kind of precarious.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 12: L “Orange Russian Prisoned Man, Keep your distance.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I have radiation coming off of me at all times.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 13: L ""We had the thumbnail on yesterdays episode that had the creepy looking owl and I was like 'dang if that don't look like Rhett!'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I'm also 40% owl." "..but they feel like they would hurt my feelings if they cut it down because it’s like, ‘Rhett’s bush.’” “When a tree falls in the woods and three sixth graders are there, they hear it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 14: R “I got a lot of conditions. I’m a complicated man.” “I don’t still wet the bed, people. At least, I haven’t in the last six months.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Laughter is so contagious, it's such a beautiful thing even when you're acting like a child."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 15: R “At that point, he’s just like, ‘I’m just gonna let this guy feel the heat. ‘Cause I’m the heat.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 16: L “No, he’s talking about, rom the crotch, if you want me to say it, whiskers go out.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m not into whiskers, I’m into pleating.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 17: L “But I could be nude in tomorrow’s episode, so tune in.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “It’s superhero underwear, man. There’s nothing funny about that at all.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 18: L “If you’re cool, do you say “Mee-ya-mi?’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve been thinking about you people. I woke up 7 times last night and everytime I woke up, I was like, ‘what are the people who watch Good Morning Chia Lincoln going to be, what are thinking about right now, what are they eating right now, what are they dreaming about right now. When am I going to get to talk to them again? I’m so anxious to cut this camera on in Miami, or ‘Mee-ya-mi,’ and talk to these people on an iPhone.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 19: L “My hands are always shaky. I’M WIRED! ZZZZ”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Ok, Link’s life has changed. He’s easily impressed by very small toothpaste tubes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 20: L “I’m not ashamed to say I use a loofah.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “First of all, this clearly confirms that you are insane.” L “Debatable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I think that every once in awhile, you should purposely have someone...throw your system off to make you adaptable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 21: L “This is probably folly on my part to be this close to you.” “I remember vomit going from me to the television… I’ve gone all the WAY, and I’ve returned to tell you about it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 22: L “Thank you, Miss Slaughter, for putting up with all our crap...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 23: L “Rhett just showed me some video he took of himself last night.” “You still want to give ‘em ‘Maneater’? You will never be Delilah!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 24: R “I’m on the basketball team, I’m actually, what some might call, a basketball star, I’m one of our key players...and I was the leading scorer and I set a record.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “In middle school, I kept score the women’s basketball team.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 25: R “I don’t watch the local news a lot. When I do watch it, it’s for entertainment purposes.” “You go until you can’t go anymore.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 26: L “Putting one word in all caps anytime in a tweet is dangerous, first of all, so you’re really living on the edge, Rhett.” “We are a united front here at RhettandLink, Incorporated.” “Turning and coughing kind of makes me think of something else.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 27: L “There’s nothin’ but love here. Nothin’ but love. Thank you, for giving us nothin’ but love.” “I have been called a human Happy Meal toy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “So, I’m a better looking Daniel Stern.” “90% of the people who tell me that I look like Robert Patterson are from a particular demographic.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 28: R (quoting his dad’s philosophy) “When something’s wrong with the car, you take it to the guy with the mullet.” “Dirty-handed mullet man is gonna fix your car.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 29: L “We like to peer into the soul of the news.” “Anything related to owls is definitely gonna grab us, and I trust that it will also grab you.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 30: R “I have a telescope and I’m constantly scanning the earth, that’s why I don’t sleep. Didn’t you know this about me? I have like a $350 telescope and I’m constantly just scanning the earth, I have a feed that comes into my computer, and I’m, in the middle of the night, I’m like ‘Oh, crap. There’s an asteroid. Better call NASA.” “I got lots of meteorites right here, baby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 31: R “...There is no preparation for Good Morning Chia Lincoln. We come in every morning and we say, ‘What do you want to talk about?’...and then we turn the camera on and we start talking about it.” L “after we say ‘Let’s talk about that.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Shoutout to Pink Ice and everyone who gave it.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 32: L “I’m crapping my pants in the women’s restroom, dangit!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Always have your doors locked because the carjacker will try a couple times and then he’ll give up." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 33: L “That’s cause I live life to the fullest without thinking about it ahead of time.” “Love me when this is over, please.” “The moment of nekkidness should always be minimized.” (nakedness)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 34: R “I believe that we had a brush with another dimension. I believe that if we had only gotten off in the Twin Cities and gone to the food court, we would have fully assimilated into the other dimension and we would have been in our own episode of LOST.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 35: L “I’m six feet tall, I’m not a shrimp!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You gotta watch those Greeks.” “It’s good, though. When you start getting hate on a video, you know you’ve broken out of your audience.” “Link is actually pretty tall, he’s six feet, I’m six foot seven.” “Wrong seat, wrong plane, wrong day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 36: L “You may have stank breath and not even know it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Everyone needs a breath and a teeth checker.” “You’re scaring me, Link. And the viewers.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 37: L “...we are going on a safari of sorts, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We like to make memories together. That’s sort of me and Link’s personal friendship motto. ‘Making Memories together: Rhett & Link.’ That’s what I wrote in Link’s yearbook every year: ‘Link, I so enjoy making memories with you.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 38: L “We have a lot of shared experiences. We’ve gone through a lot of stuff together. It’s a wonder that we’re still friends.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 39: L “But first, disclaimer: Everything we say that we did in this story is true, but you should not do it, okay? Do as we say, not as we do. And what we’re saying is don’t do what we did.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMCL 40: L “I feel like our friendship have even grown a little bit…” “Congratulations, Cara!” "Be your mythical best!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I cried a little bit during that trumpet solo.” “You’ve been there from very early on, Cara, you are a super extra mythical beast and we congratulate you and we are happy to give you Chia Lincoln.” "Stay out of the flip-side."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">THE MYTHICAL SHOW</p>
<p dir="ltr">(Quotes only from the in-studio scenes. Many of the clips are posted separately on R&L's main channel.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">“Welcome to The Mythical Show!” “Your 30 minutes of not having to click around on the internet.” (or half-hour, and some variation)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 1: “Welcome to The Mythical Show!”:“Your 30 minutes of not having to click around on the internet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is the only time we’re going to do this. If it goes well, we’ll try again and then again 12 more times.” "I think Jews are good at the Speech Jammer." "It's a bigger wheel, I'm a bigger man." "Just brace me."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 2: L "We are making this show for an audience of you." “I’ve definitely earned the title, ‘Mr. Weinee Pants.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I want to make it with you. I want to make it for you." “I’m now a fainter!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 3: R “There’s no conclusion, brother. It’s a train ride...to nowhere.” “You are our giraffe mother, mythical beasts.” “If we can guarantee anything, things are going to happen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 4: R “We eat salads together all the time.” “I would say that the thing that annoys you most about me is that I’m a know-it-all.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “He’s a heartless, hungry jerk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 5 L “Even the host will now talk about his own show.” “You do look like Eminem.” “You could jump off a mountain and hang-glide with those ears.” “This is for all humans.” “I’m not trying to hold your hand, I’m just trying to find the grapes.” “I can tell you man, I can see colors when I taste it!’ “Purple potatoes? That’s a beet!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “It’s like, ‘I’m happy, I just ate something I liked, but I’m don’t know how it’s going down, and I might have just gotten shot by a bear tranquilizer.” “How can you not like M&Ms? It’s like not liking the sunshine.” “This is not our wedding!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 6 (lots of quotes in the ‘celebrate every holiday in a month’ skit)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Boy, you could cut a piece of paper with that Adam’s apple.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You like to make purchases...because you’re such a sad human being.” “I didn’t order food with my salt.” “Too much salt on my food. Sarcastic remark here.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 7 L “...the only show on the internet where you can see the entire surface area of the top of a desk.” “Remember, people: Eat your cicadas, tweet at your peeps, and peep at your tweets.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “There’s a difference between squirrel turds and rat turds.” “Welcome to Los Angeles where rats are on power lines.” “If there was a Drutter olympics, I would win it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 8 L “What kind of father is that, that his son has to sincerely ask, ‘have you ever killed anybody’?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R (to L) “You let your kid stay in poopy-diapers and sometimes I smell Lando and it’s been like 3 hours…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 9 R “Good bedtimes stories end with ovations.” “My face just came in contact with your belly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m starting a basketball cult. Anyone who wants to come to my cul-de-sac is welcome to.” “‘Welcome to the Mythical Show where these two creepy guys interact with children.’ Is that what this is?” “Start a new channel called, ‘Weird dude in a cul-de-sac playing basketball with 8 to 10-year olds.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 10 L “That could be the period. (makes mouth noise) Bbbrrpp.” “Beautiful people make beautiful mugshots.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’re the cheapest person that I’ve ever come in contact with.” “‘Plant many tissue.’ That’s the message.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">TMS 11 (celebrate a month skit again)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...but I figured the way to judge a good Pixar movie, and it’s the amount of independant times I cry during the movie.” “I weeped it twice.” “Step on my face.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-42ac93e8-f562-9c5a-10dc-965be1c8ed48">R “That’s why you’re not sponsored by Pixar because their tagline is not ‘Pixar: So Better.’” “I am a crier at TV and movies and sometimes commercials.” “Nothing brings the family together like a big fat bird.” “That’s how a man spins a wheel, Link. Pay attention.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">EAR BISCUITS</p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 1: L “Is history being made here?” R “Well, I mean, technically, history is always being made. You alone in your room whimpering to yourself or accidentally burping after a meal is history being made.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757b-0a64-09f5-cf9924fed70e">Ep. 2: L “I’m sorry I didn’t watch your ‘Draw My Life’ because I’m afraid of drawings about people’s lives.” “Taste the traction.” “A necklace is a ring for a really big finger.” “Your finger ain’t that fat.” “You talk about, 'oh, I'm moving on to the next person now.' I mean, that’s what my dad did when I was two and I don't want to recreate that, you know, I mean, he had a tough road after that and so did I as a kid. You know, I don't wanna give that to-I wanna build something different, you know, and so I think that I was very calculated and very scientific about my approach to engagement and seeing marriage as this huge threshold that 'this means something that I'm gonna change the pattern that was set by my dad and I'm gonna set the foundation to create-to build something...that is tremendously rewarding and ultimately doesn't create all these painful barriers that I had to overcome as a kid to become who I am.' And one says I'm thankful for those things, it made me who I am, yes, but it's exciting and it's rewarding to say, now the prospect of teaming up with somebody, a wife, and saying 'I'm gonna build this thing that has other little people that then get bigger and you have to reprimand.'"</span></p>
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<p dir="ltr">Ep. 5: R "<span id="docs-internal-guid-6c7e2baa-1b75-4e0e-db91-2226df35cd05">We would not hire a teenager to sign our names on a poster." <span id="docs-internal-guid-6c7e2baa-1b76-50ab-9191-3c2198f25ddb">Okay, so for whatever reason, probably because my last name is McLaughlin, very early on, we've always signed "Rhett & Link" because that's who we are! You know us as Rhett and Link. You don't call us Rhett McLaughlin and Link Neal. So, we always sign our names, "Rhett & Link," and we always use the ampersand. And like Link says, if I sign it first, I do the ampersand, and if Link signs it first, he does the ampersand." "Mine's in cursive and yours is in print."</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L "And our signatures don't look like they've both been written by the same teenager."</p>
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<p dir="ltr">Ep. 14: R “I wrote a love song to my wife…” “I performed this song for my wife’s family and I started crying.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d5-b452-0f3c-9259e1b19944">L “This is something I do not know about.” “Hey man, I wrote a love song to my wife. Would you like hear it?” “I cannot be your friend.” "I stalk my wife, I'll own that." "I seriously considered naming one of my children 'Lionel' because it starts with an 'L' and that's what we did with our children, we named them with 'L' names." </span></p>
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<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-61b1-d4af-a891-bb4407add421">Ep. 22: L "...it was,'let's make a blood oath that we're gonna be teammates in creating something. We're gonna be, like, business partners in whatever we do,...we're gonna, like, make something big, I don't know what it is, but we should probably write it down.' And then, well, 'if you're gonna write it down, we should probably cut ourselves and sign it in blood.'" "The word 'big' was definitely in it." "I was absolutely terrified to stay at anybody else's house." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “...we don't have these sheets of paper anymore." "...and we wrote something that was like, 'we're gonna do something awesome and we're gonna do that something awesome together. Now, let's cut ourselves.'" "There would have been no blood oath if there hadn’t been a Jimmy Capps.” "I went to your house more than anybody's, but I was addicted to spending the night at people's houses."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 27 R “I almost went to medical school to operate exclusively on the brains of musicians. Uh no, just because I found their brains interesting and I wanted to press on it during surgery so they would make different notes and I could play music through their brains during surgery.” “I was fangirling. I had gone beyond fanboying.” (about Link->) “If I know something, he feels free to not know it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-aa1d-1e7c-4897-1a619b72a008">L “We have been fans of Pomplamoose since like way back. I’m talking two thousand ‘08, the dark ages of the internet.”</span></p>
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<p dir="ltr">Ep. 31: <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-7b12-759a-f859-b18172ecbc9d">L “I got a boner in that class.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 61: R “Every million subscribers, you cry.” Markiplier “Uh, pretty much, yeah.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Mark "No one on this earth will have enough time to do what they need." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 63: R “I distrust lab coats.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 69: R (putting Link’s sentences together) “MMA fighting does not come on screens in your life.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Do it for the yams.” (put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Ep. 73. R “Walmart makes me stupid.” (L - put that on a t-shirt)</p>
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<p dir="ltr">Ep. 86: R “...I’m compelled to trust us before we trust anybody else’s voice.” “...We haven’t made a video that I don’t let my kids watch.” “What’s the difference between jeans and blur?” “Trust is something that we’ve never had to work on.” “Rhett the net.” “He’s growing other Shays and he wants to know what God thinks about it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We do everything absolutely equal.” (to Rhett->) “You’re usually right about everything.” “When in doubt, he’s probably right about it.” “I feel like I’m freed up to be wrong about a lot of things, and there’s a lot of fun in that.” “I feel weird about myself being digitally cloned perfectly to the point where I’m not special anymore. That wigs me out.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R (about Stevie->) “That’s my favorite thing about her is that, she will lose sleep over something that isn’t right about something we’re doing.” L “As if it’s her content in a good way.”</p>
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<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">MORE</p>
<p dir="ltr"><em>(Videos they are guests in or featured in, with funny, informative, or obvious, popular, stand-out quotes. Chronological order, by published date, oldest to most recent.) </em></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">1. R "Which was my nickname in high school. 'The Velvet Hook,' they called me." "Somewhere between your dog and my dog is the perfect, perfectly drawn dog."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Every good piece of art poses a question." from <a href="https://youtu.be/wJbXegUZrs4" target="_blank">Velcro Song and History</a>, Jul 24, 2006.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">2. L "I identify with the lead character in that Ya-Ya Sisterhood movie." <a href="https://youtu.be/R2Y3vAC1lB0" target="_blank">Embarrassing Confessions</a>, Jan 29, 2008.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">3. R “Sleeping is what they call, 'the little death.'” from "<a href="http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/294835" target="_blank">Rhett and Link</a>", a RhettandLinKast from 3-20-08 and "<a href="https://youtu.be/fPwiadOQ1Es" target="_blank">Live Tavin Interview with Rhett & Link</a>", Apr 7, 2008. Also, briefly said it in variation in GMMore 671.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">4. L "It was a relentless and blind pursuit. We were pursuing something that doesn't exist and then, when we found it exists, we found ourselves in it without even knowing it." from "<a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20121109070550/http://www.newsobserver.com/2010/09/19/690376/mad-men-of-the-web.html" target="_blank">Fuquay's dynamic duo are Mad Men of the Web</a>", Sept 19, 2010.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">5. L "...ultimately, we don't just make these commercials just for fun on YouTube, we make them to actually help the businesses." "...all our commercials, you might describe as crazy, but we always wanna help the business..." "'Cause I know what you're thinking, people out there in front of your laptops, you're thinking, 'Boy, I'd love to see those two guys get colonics on television!'" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Now, we're not the typical commercial directors, so when we get this gig to make a commercial for a colonics place, we don't just come in with this idea and try to implement this idea, we come and say, 'listen, the least we can do is experience this for ourselves'..." from <a href="https://youtu.be/4IYN52HMBv8" target="_blank">NSFW #81: Slower and Creepier</a> (exception: release date June 21, 2011)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">6. "<a href="https://youtu.be/693FI5owJgU" target="_blank">Inspiration Time with Rhett and Link" by L/Studio, created by Lexus</a>", Mar 28, 2012.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">7. L "I think we're breaking a number of records here. The number of times anyone has listened to a karaoke version of Lionel Richie's 'All Night Long' consecutively. I mean, what's the longest internet performance in history?" "Can this be considered that?" @ 1:32:00 from <a href="https://youtu.be/4SNXYpm9iqo" target="_blank">Full 11 Hours: "All Night Long" literally All. Night. Long</a>, Sept 20, 2012.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">8. L “Let’s just call it ‘Golden Corral’.” “So we recognize that we’re taking your digital cereal away. You know, I eat cereal every morning and if I don’t eat my cereal and drink my coffee, my day’s not right and I’m glad that we’re that for many of you. That’s success. I mean, that’s what we were trying to do.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-ce5a-aa33-8418-ab23cf1fe5c5">R “The fact that many of you are upset about ‘Good Mythical Morning’ going away, you’re passionate about it, that’s a great thing.” “I will shave when I get jaw surgery.” from </span>"<a href="https://youtu.be/SQ32Lq4cytI" target="_blank">More Details about The Mythical Show</a>", Apr 2, 2013. </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">9. R "We find comedy in nature. It's a nature channel with pictures of animals and plants and all the comedic things that happen with them on a daily basis." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Well, my youngest son, he's three. He's brainstorming website names for Locke and Lincoln's website and his latest idea is LockeandLincolninthebathroom.com." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a90-6e18-e8fc-e3f63f484178">"Opinions are like buttholes: we’ve all got one, and it occasionally stinks." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a90-cd49-ca30-710d2cb915ff">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "l interact with Lady Gaga as if she's, like, an aunt." </span></span>from "<a href="https://youtu.be/s8vcxZQQVD0" target="_blank">Rhett and Link: Behind the Reel with YouTube's Internetainers [Interview]</a>", Dec 20, 2013. </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">10. R: "We've known each other longer than we've known our wives." Toby: "Is it okay?" R: "Yeah,they're okay with it." L: "It's not like a second marriage." from "<a href="https://youtu.be/T6vfg_bgC3Q" target="_blank">St. Patrick's Day w/ Rhett and Link</a>", Mar 17, 2014. </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">11. Question in video: <i>"If Heaven exists, what would like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?" </i></p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Well done, my good and faithful servant." R "You were a dad that was there." </p>
<p dir="ltr">from "<a href="https://youtu.be/v8MxHNVZOwk" target="_blank">WAIT WHAT?! RHETT & LINK EDITION!</a>", May 9, 2014.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">12. L “I love to rub some bacon on my burger.” "The key is an open mind and a stupid brain." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I want the burger to be the kind of thing that if I was knocked out, they would use it to wake me up.” from “<a href="https://youtu.be/FBU9mQ_ODu0">Won’t It Burger? with Rhett & Link, Burger Quest ep. 5</a>”, Nov 13, 2014. </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">13. L "Just keep in mind that opinions are like butt holes; we all have them, and they usually stink." from “<a href="https://youtu.be/4D6fxknKYy8" target="_blank">YouTubers React to YouTube Comments System</a>”, Oct 30, 2014.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">14. R “My grandfather was married seven times to six different women because he married my grandmother twice.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My kids all have those cheeks. They inherited those.” “Organization makes me so happy.” “Things happen live, it’s great!” “Now, when are we going live? When is everyone going to see this?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-fbdf-a4f7-3ab6-de0c84afd4ab">Hank: "...and there’s a Link in the live stream that won't take you anywhere except into his beautiful blue eyes." “Me and baby Rhett and baby Link are just gonna hang out together in the live stream.” “Oh, Rhett and Link. Two of the best people in the whole world.” from “<a href="https://youtu.be/Lrgej4UJtaw">The Project for Awesome 2014 Livestream Kickoff!</a>”, Dec 12, 2014.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">15. “<a href="https://youtu.be/_fEfQo-CF5U" target="_blank">THANKSGIVING IN A CAN W/ RHETT & LINK!</a>”, Nov 21, 2015.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">16. R “There also needs to be a word for when you’re in a conversation and you say something and somebody laughs and you think they’re laughing at your joke and they’re laughing at somebody else’s...” "...and one of the things that I think about often is what is the lifetime balance between me and Link, because I bet that you owe me $10,000." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I would call that experiencing a ‘laughallax,’ it’s like a parallax of laughter.” "It's funny because we were outside in the car, before we knew we were gonna eat there and before we knew it was cash only, we had this long conversation to try to determine how much money I owed Rhett and it was determined that I owed Rhett $140 in cash." "I don't like it when people send us art and I'm not in it and just Rhett's in it." “I’m so light-headed for charity.” “Santa?...I’m seeing Santa!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-88f718df-fb52-3efa-9c08-97bd7dbf9df7">Hank “It sounds a little bit like you’re laughing and you accidently poop.” from "<a href="https://youtu.be/ukggfKxtYSE" target="_blank">Project for Awesome 2015 Rhett and Link hosting</a>", Dec 12, 2015. </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">17. Reece "What's your favorite food?" L "Oh. Cereal." Reece "How do you spell that?" L "C." Reece "c." L "A, I think." Reece "a." L "Cere-I know how to eat it, I don't-" Reece "You know how to eat it." L "I know how to spell 'Frosted Mini-Wheats.'" Reece "And you know how to take a bath in it." L "Oh yeah. You can say that again, girl." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "That would be my superpower: Taking a bath in cereal." "How's my hair because it's important." (slurps tea for a long time) from <a href="https://youtu.be/NfpDIoYfSMs" target="_blank">OUTTAKES from The Interview: with Link Neal! //3 Ginger Sisters</a>, May 14, 2016. </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">18. L "When in doubt, stop backing up." <a href="https://twitter.com/linklamont/status/760650598177837057" target="_blank">Link's Twitter</a> account, Aug 2, 2016.</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">19. Jimmy "You guys have been friends since first grade, is that right?" L "Yep." R "First grade." L "The first day of first grade, we were both held in from recess by our teacher, Ms. Locklear, 'cause we were writing nasty words on our desks." Jimmy "Can you say what the nasty words were, or no?" R "I think so. We could say, I said, I wrote 'hell' and he wrote- Both R&L "'dam.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Shout-out to Leslie." "Shout-out to Amber." </p>
<p dir="ltr">from <a href="https://youtu.be/_22brTJkL3o" target="_blank">Rhett & Link Bonded Over Swears in First Grade,</a> The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Dec 24, 2016. </p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 522-667tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-04-21:2452419:BlogPost:23040442016-04-21T00:30:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Apr 20 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, …</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Apr 20 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 668-815</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 816-968</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 969-1051</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-1052-current" target="_blank">GMM 1052-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 522: L “Every other episode from now on, one of us is gonna be asleep!” R “Probably not a good change to the show.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Men can be beauties!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I will say that, true test of friendship, you passed. I do appreciate it.” R “I cleaned up your child’s vomit...”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Next time any one of my family member’s vomits, I’m gonna call you up, even if you’re not there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 523: L “Good Mythical Morning to you all!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Did you love ‘Saved by the Bell’? Did you watch it every week, religiously? I did.” “Swoop swoop on the doop doop.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You take Keith Urban’s hair and put it on a soccer mom and it fits.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9654-b112-8647-a015c188189b">R “Hashtag Urban soccer.” L “I gotta wash my crotch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 524: R “I say to the future, ‘Welcome future, I’m glad to be a part of you and I look forward to riding this wave right into the future, future.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “When your pants are smarter than me, there’s a problem.” R “That’s when you know you’ve arrived.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“I don’t want my fork to make me feel guilty for eating, though.” “I’ll be repositioning this crotch material, why don’t you like and comment on this video!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’ which I’m going to do shirtless from now on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-3e2b-4774-1ab1-8c21bff66eef">R “You know what this is? It’s like a clown’s brain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 525: R “Here’s to you, Vanilla Ice!” “‘What’s that in your hand?’ ‘It’s my hedgehog, baby.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-b769-03c8-48ef-5d6b90a52534">L “Snickledong.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 526: R “Contrary to popular belief, a narcissist is not a cyst that is narci.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A narcissist is defined as the response that a person in the deep south gives when asked ‘is that a mole?’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...we inflate the image of ‘Rhett & Link’ as a brand, but we don’t take it personally. Like, we speak of ‘Rhett & Link’ as if it’s a thing and it kinda puts it on something so it’s not just, like, ‘I’m building you up today’ and vice versa.” “There’s a reason why we interview people before we hire them. Because we don’t hire narcissists.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-6818-224a-f4db-62e6496ce100">R “Yeah, we don’t have, like, a session where we build each other up. Maybe we should.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 527: L “Who knew that the best way to communicate with millions of people was through a cookie?” “Put your print where your mouth is!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We’re on a donkey kick.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Oh, I’m charming? I didn’t know.” L “Modesty is enhancing your charm.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What are the chances that I don’t have a future, guys?” L “The days of your future have passed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9655-3ab2-0373-33e4a5c0107b">R “This is what the game is, ‘does Rhett have a future?’!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 528: R “...Sometimes you just don’t expect something to be double-awesome!” “It was the peak of my existence. I don’t think it gets any better than that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Mariachi band and a bounce house, there was no actual bouncing, but it was still very much something I will remember the rest of my life.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There are feathers in bubble gum. I don’t know if you knew that.” “Little Link, she called me.” “I feel so good about myself for once. I usually feel okay about myself. It’s not a pity party. I just feel great about myself.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c8-8992-bd47-c91b4fe2f4a9">R “You are great at blowing bubbles, but sometimes you tell me things like this and it makes me think, ‘Link needs to be in therapy.’” “We’ll call this ‘Good Mythical More: Men chew gum.’” (to L->)“You’re like a master! You should have your own YouTube channel. ‘Bubble Man.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 529: L “Whenever I go to the disco, I expect lots of poutine!” “See? I’m culturally sensitive. Join me as in my world tour!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4e8-f3b2-c047-db5d008be31b"><span>R “You’re right, Link! You’re the official ambassador to Cheesistan!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 530: R “You find something that you’re passionate about and you find something that you’re talented at, and if they’re the same thing, bingo, that’s what your YouTube channel should be about.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s the stupidest rationale for cologne I ever heard. You wanna smell like a burnt cigar?” R “No, like a Cuban man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I like lentils. I have a weak spot. I predict that I am going to love some Boondi. I might name my fourth child ‘Boondi.’” “You’re feeding yourself as if you were a horse.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 531: L “When I’m in a grocery store and I’m going down the aisle and then, all of a sudden, it’s like, I feel something. I turn around and there’s somebody staring at me, some old man grabbing the Fruit Loops. Like, why is that dude grabbing the Fruit Loops staring at me?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s staring at me. I felt it and my hair stood up, man!” L “Your hair’s always standing up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Rhett? You there?” R “Yeah.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Now say ‘hot for teacher.’” R “Hot for Ms. Locklear!” L “Shsssshshss. Something wrong with my camera. It just shsssshss’d.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Well this would be a good show. Welcome to ‘Good Mythical Morning!’” “If you can’t see the camera, the camera can’t see you.” “We’re proving science again!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 532: R “I might have punch this guy if he did this to me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Would you pay to see this? I’d pay for it to stop! I mean this as a compliment. I could see you doing this.” L “What, ‘cause I’m not afraid to go up to people with creepy baby dolls and [they] crawl on their head?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4e9-581c-5e45-ecb5cb3f3a24"><span>R “Drink the coconut juice. Lick it off of the ground.” L “Bow down and worship my high-waisted sweatpants.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 533: L “Step right up, get yourself your deep-fried lemon! Available only at Crispy Town! Get yourself a iced cold tea with a piping hot fried lemon wedge!" "Fried lemon pie at Crispy Town." "We got some dancing wheat grass over here at Crispy Town!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "We both kissed it! We both independently kissed it!" R "Part of the sales pitch!" L "Every lemon wedge personally kissed by the Fry Daddies."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "It's the only thing at Crispee Towne that's not crispy, is the toothpaste." "You hear about Crispee Towne this year? They got deep fried toothpaste, they keep your hygiene up, man." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Ugh-a! Hot!" L "Your IQ was checked at the door when beginning this exercise, which is appropriate." "A lot of food establishments focus on food, not at Crispee Towne."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 534: L “I wasn’t thinking about spitting on the president.” “All I’m trying to say is how close I was to the president, if I popped a ‘p,’ some of my DNA might would have hit the president.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “But, no one’s allowed to take pictures out the window into the Rose Garden.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I took a picture of George Washington's’ china because, think about that, he’s the first president!” L “I know, but what are you gonna do with that picture?” R “Show it now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 535: R “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I thought that we should die on the same day, just to see if we can work that out.” L “Well, you’re going five hours earlier. Is that the deal?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If we weren’t doing this, what we’re saying is that we may not be friends anymore.” R “Right.” (laughs) L “Well, I don’t know if that’s true. We certainly have a stronger friendship because we’re working on this together.” R “No, we would still be friends.” “We’d have shared hobbies.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Your mind works in interesting ways.” “I wish there was an easier way to say ‘spoiler alert’!” “Two guys, one guitar.” “We should go to a fair together!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Two guys who are in business together should wear matching hats, A, and this makes me think we should have a side business like Crispee Towne!” L “So, this is the start of the Crispee Towne uniform. It starts with a duct tape hat!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I just made a weird noise with my chair and it sounded like a fart.” L “Hey, this is our show. We can fart it up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Read the letter, my bro! Can I start calling you ‘my bro’ like, that’s what Pewdiepie does?” R “Please don’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s my new life motto: Be an Oprah. Be an Oprah or make friends with an Oprah.” “You want to be Gale. You want the benefits.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 536: L “Don’t pee on a battery. I don’t know if anything will happen, but don’t try it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ceab-00cb-ca22-ac15a615e12e">R “Urine poured inside of a shoe can be used to start a fight.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 537: L “Today, we channel the happiness. Working title for the show if we ever change it: ‘Channel the happiness.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I currently collect, it’s not too big of a collection, but Hawkman memorabilia.” L “I mean, I collect Merle Haggard records. Feel free to mail those to me, in any condition!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-31ad-2f3e-d5eda9db52f8"><span>L “So your poop represents your possessions and the act of pooping represents a loss of control.” R “Yeah, so all those little movie tickets are just your little turds-” L “I don’t still have them, by the way” R “Oh! You let your turds go!” “So my Hawkman collection up on my little shelf up there is just turds.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 538: R “I hate the world. I hate that we exist” “I can take magma that turns into lava, & I can swallow it, 'cause I'M NOT A CHUMP!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Take your glove off, stupid.” “Every breath out is like time travel into a stupid, stupid place.” “You can be anybooodddyyy” “I’ve got a, right here, a cauldron of torture.” “I feel like my right nipple’s gonna spout fire. My left nipple, fine. Right nipple, fire.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 539: L “On yesterday’s episode, we both consumed the hottest pepper in the world and thanks for your concern. I wanted to just give an update and say that I don’t think I will ever fully recover from what happened.” R “Well, I can personally attest to the fact that eleven hours after Link and I consumed the pepper, I was up and about, I was up and at ‘em. Link was in the fetal position on a loveseat.” L “With like, clammy sweat, pale skin, promising to myself, and to God, that I would never do that again.” R “If they make a hotter pepper, I’m gonna eat it!” L “We’re okay. Thanks for your concern.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I did get my haircut. Thanks for noticing.” “What kind of world do we live in where Harry Potter can’t get a dinosaur for more than a few months but Snooki’s got one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, you are the dinosaur king.” “Linksterasaurus Nealadactyl.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 540: R “...we had a good friend named Gregg who would get some premium stuff and one time, he got some premium Edy’s ice cream and we had the communal Walmart ice cream and we just got really excited one day. We ate half of his Edy’s ice cream, then we looked at each other and we were like, ‘we gots to fix this.’ We took the Walmart ice cream and we put it into the Edy’s ice cream and we smoothed it over the top. Now, the difference is, the Walmart ice cream was really yellow and the Edy’s ice cream is really white so when he opened it up, he was like, ‘you punks ate my ice cream!’ and he threw a soccer ball at us.” L “That was an amazing day…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-6fc5-e6e9-6b7a4351570a"><span>R “Top trash will take care of it.” L, Both “Put that on a t-shirt!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 541: L “I like sausage in general, but something tells me that I'm not gonna like these sausages.""It tastes... like it’s hanging down there. You can’t copy me, No. I took a stand, you can’t copy me.” “Tasting things so you don’t have to.” “You can die a slow death, little woman, because the Bingo Woman is meee!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I taste the hornage."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R to L“If you can get a bite-sized piece of that into your stomach, I will respect you endlessly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 542: L “We’re gonna make your shorts sag by talking about things that can kill you that you didn’t know.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Icicles are deadly ice swords that impale people in public.” “That’s what the history of mankind is all about is: putting yourself out there, risking your life for a little grub. That’s is human existence, man. So somebody who gets killed by a vending machine is just carrying on the tradition of humans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-3751-3985-2258-8f6cd3d2bf12">GMMore: L “We don’t condone popping bottles in the club, by the way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 543: L “How do entertainers know when they have reached true celebrity status?” R “When they’ve had sensitive photos leaked.” L “No. When they have perfume or cologne made after them. I don’t know anything about leaky photos.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ladies and gentleman, I present to you our Rhett & Link official cologne, which also doubles as barbecue sauce because that’s what’s in here, I call this ‘Spray bQ’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I smell like a chicken nugget now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I had an idea one time to have a cologne, seriously, that didn’t make you smell like barbecue sauce but made you smell like you’d been cooking on a grill.” “Team up with Lil’ Wayne. I be grilling. Oh, grill. It comes with a free grill, I’m talking about in the mouth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Wear it anytime except when grilling because that’d be overkill.” “You can use it as as lighter fluid, too.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Man walking in smelling like hamburger. ‘Manburger.’” “‘Brisket Boy’ is for boys.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “For the ladies?” “‘Slab.’” “‘Slab’ for women, ‘Brisket’ for the boys, and ‘Manburger’ for the men.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 544: R “We need to undervalue IKEA furniture, we need to celebrate waffle day, and we need to have five week vacations. I think we’ve learned a lot here.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-b934-904f-b1396e60c6fc"><span>GMMore: R “It smells like the worst fart ever!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 545: R “'I wish I wish upon a star to fly with dragons in a land afar.' No, sorry that was wrong. 'I wish I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.’” "Softball coach Link." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Well, don't make a man cut his own cake!" L "What I can't do is cut cake and talk to them at the same time. I don't think you want me doing anything with a knife if I'm thinking about something else." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Now, if you had your skates on, we could do what we used to do in third grade where I would skate between your legs.” R "That was our classic move 'cause I was so big!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I know what the mouth is.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "And I've done something that I've never done before for you, Rhett. I have prepared something edible that wasn't coffee or cereal..." "Ladies and gentlemen," R "You made the pizza cake for me, Link?" L "here it is. I made you, along with the help of Lily, my daughter-" R "You are the best friend ever!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Jalapeño pepperoni?" R “Like I just took a step into heaven.” L "Happy Birthday, man. You deserve it." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “There needs to be a ‘pillsbury.com/rhettandlink.’” “French oven is when you fart under the covers but you’re naked. (laughs) I don't know why I would say that." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8129-bc97-bb40-ef440fdc5052">L “Dutch oven.” R “No, that’s when you fart under the covers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8129-bc97-bb40-ef440fdc5052">L “This is the first thing I’ve ever made!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 546: R “‘Bubble & Squeak.’ That’s what they called us in high school.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c52-cebe-0af4-d237e8323297"><span>GMMore: L “I thought ‘sorted’ meant ‘crazy.’ It’s like ‘let’s get sorted in this club! Let’s get crunk! Let’s get sorted!’” R “I don’t think that’s ever going to catch on. ‘Let’s arrange ourselves by height in the club!’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 547: L “Have the chills with us today though." "I can do something and so can you, people. Think of Gandalf and think of me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eb4174f0-cd0d-3080-7200-7088f02959df">R “Anytime you’re having a bad day, I gotta get a costume!” L “Rhett, can you be Gandalf for me, please?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "I'm not kidding you. I'm just like my dad. People don't think this about me, I know this, but if I were to sit and watch an Eagle Scout ceremony and it was led by a someone who is compelling, not only would I shudder, I would cry."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 548: L "Now, again, skittles, they're waiting to be spooned." "I'm not hungry for this." “Pete who? Who’s Pete?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Skittles. Waiting to be spooned. Would you volunteer?” "The rainbow is leaking." “Skittle milk! Forget Skittle cereal! Skittle milk! Call someone right now!” (re-quoting Link->) “Just let me get my corn on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 549: R “Don’t ask where the corn dog castle is! You should know it! I’m the janitor! I play the janitor! Do I look like I know where the corn dog castle is?” L “I’d rather get poked in the eye than get slapped by a cast member.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There’s nothing more frustrating than not getting an answer from somebody who’s supposed to know.” “I think that they should have a ride that’s just, ‘Step right up and watch Jeb grow a beard! And eyebrows!’ Yeah, it’s like, I would pay five tickets for that, and they don’t even use tickets!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 550: R “‘Holden B. Huffman.’ Top three names, ever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Anything that cleans is clean.’ That’s what Gregg told me.” R “Gregg was wrong.” L “Gregg also said, ‘everything I needed to know in life, I learned in Kindergarten.’” R “No, he said, ‘everything you need to know, you already know.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 551: L “Ain’t no chicken got time for that!” “What kind of dog wants to run at full speed in his backyard and keep hitting his own house?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know what happens in a chicken coop?” L “Learning!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m dark.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “So when you go to the bathroom, you’re getting into the zone.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-0b3d-e2e2-ddfe29acc04c"><span>L “You see, I know belts, man.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 552: L “I don’t usually know of a burger that’s really pickle-heavy.” "There's a lot of burger in the mouth. Where it came from, I know not." "Burger Master!" “Yo, Burger-mouth in the house.” "We're both equally stupid." "A little special happening on my left cheek.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “How can you think that you’re so smart about burgers and be so dumb about them?” “Burger-mouth has no teeth.” “I got a little of the special on my lip.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 553: L “I actually like to eat dog food with milk!’</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Anything goes in Tokyo. That’s why I want to go there.” “I’ve lost heart, guys.” “Hey, mom! It’s the ambulance, man. I found him!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Drop it like it’s an emergency!” “We call it the ‘Crap Factor.’” “Let’s make a bear together.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-812a-78ef-fb72-358d401a82b9">R “I’d rather deal with people’s feces than their attitude.” “The kids make out with the heart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 554: R “Do you feel emotions?” L “Occasionally. If I have to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I didn’t think you were human.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I am very in touch with my emotions.” “I’m a human feeler, dude.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Outrun the horse cops!” (put that on a t-shirt) “There are people who go into one movie and walk into another movie.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b453-b2ce-fe06-b4322ccb640f">L “Leave me out of this.” “There’s people in the room who don’t just give a crap about us, but you care. That’s what matters.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 555: L "Oh my no's. No, no, no." R "You're preemptively barfing?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "There's like a pig that got loose in the pumpkin patch and then we cut his feet off."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 556: R “Sometimes I just find myself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-6b1f-b55a-cc4f032c561d"><span>GMMore: L “You know what? We’re getting a phone call so we have to go.” R “Oh, really?” L “Yeah. You should go to the [Niagara] Falls and we’re gonna take this call.” R “That’s abrupt.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 557: L “I have enough perspective that my life’s good. Life is good. I don’t need to be peed on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-0ad9-4cad-8b70-290e6384c663">GMMore: R “I am really into haunted houses, but I will also say that I’ve hardly ever been to any, because, my experience, at least the people that I have decided to walk through this life together with, that being my wife and Link, are not into scary movies or haunted houses and so I don’t do either a lot.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 558: L “When your kid has a moustache like that, you’re just begging to turn him into ‘Prince.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-9fc4-4404-7731d57a76dd"><span>R “You got any tape? Tape dispensers? Give me everything! Give it to me! Gah, I want it so bad!” “Can’t get enough of it. This is like spaghetti!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 559: L “Now, don’t go with too much gusto or you’ll pop through, prematurely there” (R- put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both: R “If bread ever gets injured…” L “...don’t call us.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "When I die, I want to be o-lanterned." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Squeeze a potato until it cries.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0598-5975-d801-c7410f1eaa0d">L “Sulfur so good! I’m really full of that crap today.” R “Crap is a good word for it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 560: R “Give me that sweet face, Link!” “Hey, they call me ‘sweet face.’” “Well, I like grape mustard. They call me ‘sweet face’!” “You look like a futuristic space woman!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-de36-cc68-925035e15e30"><span>R “Hey, I got an idea now.” L “Hey, sweet face.” R “Just call me, ‘sweet face.’ Why do you call me that? ‘Cause my face is sweet! Taste it.” L “No, thank you.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 561: R “We are groot.” L “and then you grow roots?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You gotta sweat a little bit if you want that candy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0598-9ccb-3b71-db480044b89f">R “When I said ‘thank you’ to ‘Nartufoty,’ the lights flickered twice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 562: L “I’ve made farts that sound more human than this dog.” R “If you can fart, ‘I love you,’ I’ll give you one million dollars and I don’t even have that.” “Mythical beasts, we are very exciting to announce the launch of the all new Camo mythical shoe!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“My wife had a really big goozle, well, she was a man at one point, and she kept injuring me with it and then she removed the goozle and now she’s a woman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-ca76-6b79-d022-dee69b413945">GMMore: L “I only started wearing a hat when we started making a hat.” “When it comes to infidelity, I don’t want a parrot involved in any way." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 563: R “Do you say ‘what the heck’ a lot on your texts?” “What is wrong with you, Link? What is wrong with you? I don’t wanna hear anymore of your thoughts! You’re not super cute and funny anymore!” “Who floats in the morning?” “I’m a textpert!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading Rhett’s text) “Super cute and funny and cute and funny as hell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I get hungover again and again to get my nails done! Don’t you?” R “Well, no. I do something different.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I got a motorcycle.” R “I saw that.” L “Me and her have been riding on the motorcycle together.” R “I saw that.” L “Me in the front, her in the back.” R “I saw that! I tried to unsee it!” L “There’s some room for you in the sidecar.” R “Nope.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My baby girl is so cute when he is not an option.” L “You take what you can get.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 564: R “Those Swedish people love adoption. I’ve always said that!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...who pushes up their nose with the palm of their hand at all-” R “Barbara and Daphne do!” L “and then who, when they do that, calls it ‘squidging’?” R “Barbara and Daphne do, Link! Who squidges?” L “Squidge! Squidge!” R “That’s the new thing, man....” L “Sometimes when I push on the side...I’ll push on the side and my nose will pop.” R “What do you call that?” L “Squidging.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “This is so great that we’re sitting here talking about people that you have no idea who they are! It’s just evidence that we’ve known each other forever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When you go to a country music concert and you dip a little bit.” L “Right, and you turn green like an alien.” R “Yeah.” L “Ugh!” R “Here’s to those times.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 565: L “Lasers!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you can relate to this testimonial, call the number on the screen now. 1-800-TacoSafetyForever.” R “1-800-TacoSafetyForYouAndYourRelatives.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “My first day of work I didn’t show up because I broke my pelvis snowboarding two days earlier, and I had to call my boss and say, I’d never gone to work ever, and I was like, ’Uh, this is Link, I was supposed to come in on Monday but I broke my pelvis and I’m gonna be sitting on a weird pillow for the next two weeks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-18e7-8e42-f4b3bf19dbe5"><span>R “You think about everything, but you don’t think at all. That’s how I would describe starting your first job.” “You’re gonna fail, especially if you’re given something that you don’t know how to do. Just kind of embrace that and be willing to learn.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 566: L “I think it's pretty cool that people can make themselves burp. My eleven year old daughter is a master at it. I can't do it." "I can’t swallow air.” “I don’t know how to do it and I don’t want to be berated for it.” “This is the weirdest episode.” “I got some hair growing out of my ears like a grandpa.” "Ever since that Carolina Reaper, any spicy stuff makes me feel sick." “That should be the name of a song: ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Hiccup.” "My cheeks are starting to sweat. All four of 'em." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That was a hic-down. (laughs) Don’t laugh at your own jokes, Rhett!” "We cut your hair off and we're putting it in my ear, just so you know what's happening." "Maybe we proved some other kind of science today." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Do not drink ether, it will kill you.” “So that’s how comedy works. The longer it’s taken, the more you laugh at it. That explains a whole lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-711b-3905-e410-bee6e3d1faa0">L “What happens in The Vegus, stays in The Vegus.” (first L, then both)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 567: R “Rollerskating has been scientifically proven to be a great way to keep people sane when they’re underground.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m sincere. My world is freaking rocked right now. Yours is about to be.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Hunnel. Sounds like a pet name in a relationship I don’t wanna know anything about!” L “Hey, hunnel!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "You don't need water when you have a bike and friends" “With your help, we can bring back Clearly Canadian, our childhood drink that we couldn’t afford!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We are bringing Clearly Canadian back!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-5f0b-341a-adf356dc5525"><span>R “This is like bringing our childhood back, man!” L “It tastes so good, guys!” R “You need this!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 568: R “I ate a few gallons of Play-Doh in my day, and I’m still here.” “Now, I’m going to move on and make a pea weiner, I mean, um, I’m going to make a hot dog out of peas.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Let’s put the food where the mouths are.” “Your Pea-Doh weiner.” “It’s like a nice blonde woman’s hair if it were made out of dough.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 569: R “Whenever I hear that there is a movement going on, I am immediately interested and I begin to question whether or not I should be a part of this movement. And then, I’m like, if I’m gotta be part of this movement, you gotta be a part of this movement because we kinda move in parallel.” “Everything is always about poo poo.” “You gotta put the kids in one of those cabinets.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m more into pilates movement.” “You can take a shower on the toilet? I’ve been dreaming about this.” “I bet if you sleep over a warm bathtub, you stay moist all night.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The more I think about this tiny home movement, it really starts to create a movement within me.” “I peed in the pipe from inside of the hideout.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b458-91f0-7930-18351712adcc">R “You were a squatter in a treehouse.” “They’ve turned our A-frame into an actual home. Sad days.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 570: R (singing) “No one wants to eat the cabbage. Talk about green stuff, talk about health, you got to get it and nothing else. It’s cabbage, just cabbage, oh cabbage, just cabbage.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-711b-7767-6151-759735cd5b7e">GMMore: R “Break me off a piece of that nut roll.” “Nothing like a bottle of ‘Clearly Canadian’ on a hot North Carolina day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 571: R “Hey, it’s 2014. How long’s this show been around? It’s time for a new note and I’m bringing it to da house!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Blue Men in the house!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You look like a disoriented child!” L “Well, I know what it feels like to be born at my age.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My mouth is too small, but my heart is big and blue!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I go by ‘Charles’.” R “When you’re doing business?” … L “I feel like I get more respect from my mechanic if I go by ‘Charles’ and not by ‘Link.’ ‘Charles’ is my first name, if you don’t know. ‘Lincoln’ is my middle name.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “That’s how you talk to a mechanic, guys.” “I’ma pay him in marshmallows.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 572: L “He is bringing rivulets of water all the way up his body, all the way up to his face, into his mouth.” R “That’s how I drink!” “Everyone should drink that way!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Don’t cough in a hot tub with strangers. You are naked.” R “Unless one of them’s a doctor.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 573: L “I feel crazy! I just wanna be released from these goggles! I don’t care who wins! Aahh!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 574: L “Try to shake a taco.” “Soft tacos are wannabe burritos but you didn’t know how to roll!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...tacos and burritos, either one.” L “No deserving human should have to choose.” R “You offer me one, I’m gonna take one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Burritos teach you self-restraint.” “Variety is the spice of life...” “You really got a good taco if it takes you on a spirit journey.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-a563-3c0a-fb01eae3ba93"><span>R “And you can disagree with your friends without anybody’s feelings getting hurt. That’s another thing. Take that to school with you tomorrow.” Eddie “Put that in your tortilla and eat it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 575: R “I pledge allegiance to your chest and the nipples of each side of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 576: L “The hormones that this thing churned are immeasurable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I can smell the pheromones.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Who knew that the NSYNC anti-drugs totally match up with all of my hobbies, 100%.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 577: R “Are you afraid of my Pogono, baby?” L “ Don’t talk to baby like that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “There’s nothing better than having a woman vomit into your beard.” “Never hold a baby over a beard.” “A slick cat slides into the afterlife.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "No interaction I've ever had with a printer has been a positive one. I have never had a positive interaction with a printer."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 578: R “It's like eating an old sponge." "Bananas are not poisonous! Nothing’s tainted!” “That was my nickname in high school: Chili-puller.” "Yours makes a lot of sense. Mine looks like an accident." "It tastes like bathwater."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Wow, you are animated!" R "Whoa! That's the worst!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is going into the SeaLand, the ocean.” "So, we sent Alex to the local Home Depot to sweep the floor when nobody was looking." "Liver king, liver king, liver king."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I thought that was your tooth! I was so convinced! The sound that it made! Did you hear the pop?" R "Ugh! That's just a chunk of wood, y'all!" ... L "I'm not gonna lose a tooth over this. I have standards." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-ebf0-c831-975251239771"><span>GMM 579: L “...we think this is a fun thing...where we will be able to say, as mythical beasts, that we actually brought a product from our childhood back and maybe your childhood, too!” “Toast in unison across the globe? How crazy is that gonna be!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I want to hold that bottle in my hand and it will be like time travel for me to drink that thing...” “What’s in a Wonderball? A choking hazard!” “Chicken fries are back. This just in. Chicken fries are back at Burger King.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-4603-1383-2828-5f6b41a9a5ba"><span>R “I’ve done this, like, seven times in my life. Seen a commercial for something and gotten in the car to try to get it.” “I mean, when I become a grandpa, I’m gonna have something in the console. ‘Werther's Original,’ that’s what I’m gonna have.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 580: R “When you’re helping a damsel in distress, you say, ‘I’m Ham-Man, ma’am!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m a dark meat man, so I’ma do my dark meat plan.” “I’m Ham-Man.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 581: L “Now, the gag reflex is already kicking in, but I’m a really fight it cause I don’t wanna be known as that guy, anymore.” "Yeah, I'm the chicken Caesar!""Alright, let's open our mouths and pray to the bird gods." "I've never looked down there." "BTW, I'm your grandma." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is not a happy Thanksgiving." "It's like bird gum." "(to Link) You're like a bird genius!" "Could be an ostrich testicle. Do they have testicles?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Oh, I was wondering why you've been hanging around us. We haven't been paying you. It's like, 'he's just here cause Eddie's here,' is what I thought." "There was one time that we gave an employee cash for eating, and we felt like that was wrong." "The things that have been in my mouth." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Birds have internal testicles." </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 582: L “Maybe. Maybe I got fixated. Maybe I got fixed.” “You keep thinking out loud. That’s good for everybody.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Well… coffee is the blood of the coffee bean. And coffee is also the Venezuelan word for testicle.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 583: L “I live, therefore I fart.” (said he tweeted it). “I know what you’re laying down, baby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What’s your farting climate?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “We are sad, sad men.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 584: L “I sincere screamed for that one because I’ve always wanted to take a shower in the sky.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (saying to himself) “Wow, he’s going anti-bacterial on me. That’s very, a little disappointing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 585: R “If you’ve seen somebody in 2D, you see them in 3D, everything can change.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 586: L “Pancakes are for artists, waffles are for torturers of orphans.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 587: L "It's one thing to squeeze the melons, it's another thing to place the banana."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Is that some hermit crab doo-doo in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Smoke your gouda, it's so gouda for you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 588: L “This tastes like the periodic table excreted something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 589: L “I know I have a chewing problem.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you have actually misophonia, you should probably stop watching now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My mouth is not capable of volumes that yours is.” L “Volumes?” R “I cannot chew as loudly as you can.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’ve got compartments I don’t have!” “And that’s why every once in a while, women give birth to pigs, just like, every one in one hundred births is a pig child. The hospitals don’t tell you about that, they just send them to the barbecue restaurants. Let’s make a movie about that called ‘Pig Children.’” (crew member) “‘Baby Bacon.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 590: L “You could go with grace or you could go with blunt force.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I got a squirrel in my backyard that’s has mange on his tail.” L “Mr. Nuts is tip-top, man. Ain’t nothing wrong with Mr. Nuts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 591: R “The highlight, not of my life, but of my fourth grade year, Mrs. Everhart’s class, was the computer. We had a little Apple computer in the corner and the only thing we ever did on it the entire year was play ‘Oregon Trail.’” [”Everhart”: not sure of exact spelling, this is a common spelling.]</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I was just as smart as you in fourth grade!” R “He was, he was a smart kid, but for some reason, your mom thought you were stupid. She could have had her reasons. When kids are little, it’s hard to tell, you know?” L “No. No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Only shoot the animals you’re gonna eat if you can carry them to your frontier destination.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c55-36cf-528f-b245933d3a86"><span>R “You don’t like acapella at all. You have a thing against acapella music. You’ve made this very clear many times and I gotta say, I would never buy an album but I will enjoy an acapella concert just as much as the next guy because it’s in person.” “Just be cool, don’t say you’re cool. That’s rule number one about cool.” “I pity the fool that likes Pentatonix.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 592: L “Well, when you realize you don’t break a world record, that’s when you get blue.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 593: R “Hey, baby, I love your poop necklace.” “This was a Christmas miracle, Link, and you blew it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Why did they yell? They’re yelling at the board. The board’s not listening.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 594: R “That’s what they called me in high school: ‘Bearded Ken.’ I didn’t have a beard, though.” “I want Big Bertha!...I mean I want her to be real, I don’t want her.” “I’m just a woman with a pudding thong. I’m here to save the day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ve been on record saying that Batman’s my favorite superhero, but that’s not really sexy.” “...so I’m changing mine to ‘Plastic Man.’” “I love a good pudding.” “Dopeilfresh.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 595: L “Creative use of a nipple, I mean, I just gotta say.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Hey, you shouldn’t be looking at surf booties at work, man. Not safe for work!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “AwkwardFamilyMorphing.com.” “Bushy eyebrows are back in, ladies!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 596: L “My happiness quotient is through the roof.” “We recommend warming up your ‘Do-Nachos.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Love it. I love the donuts, George." L “Oh, the donut was so great. The black eggs on top were just exquisite.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Sometimes, you gotta push the meatball, in life.’” “I can’t take him anywhere! He walked up to the buffet and then he vomited.” “I stuck my finger in your donut.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Look at how much I'm shaking." R "It helps if you wiggle around."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You are our holiday gift.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you run a donut shop right now, I want you to add the pork rind maple syrup donut to your menu and then call it the ‘RhettandLinker.’ L “RhettandLoinker, like ‘oink.’” R “Yeah, work on the name, but credit us, please. RhettandLoinkster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON SEVEN</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 597: R "If you grew up at some point or are growing up-" L "then you're on the right track."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But Walt Disney is cryologically frozen!” L “Cryologically? Cryogenically frozen, just like Michael Jackson.” R “I made up a new word.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m putting in my video Will. Please cryogenically freeze me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is a new wheel because it’s a new season, y’all!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Do you know how I feel about things made from wood? I’m really into ‘em.” “You can’t throw a piece of wood around Costa Rica without hitting somebody selling wood.” “Welcome Becca!” “I want just a whole room full of wooden products.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c55-9651-ce50-b8f071542ecd"><span>L “I can’t tell ya how many times I’ve been shocked by a cereal bowl, a metal cereal bowl.” “Season seven off to a good start. Feeling good, feeling right, happy, goodness, positivity.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 598: R “Windia. Put that on a t-shirt.” “You can’t help but run over a cow pie. I’ve always said that, and I’m not even German.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ccaa-4b32-daba-b22de607eda3">L “‘Will It Camel Dong?’ That’s another episode.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 599: R “YEAH, DOCTOR!” “You look very constipated, very constipated. Please don’t slip one out.” “You show me a 6 and a half year old that can do 3 pull-ups.” “This is how old men run, Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m sure we look pathetic.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Wife in a can is not something you wanna look up on the internet.” “I am as flexible as I’ve ever been, as flexible as I was when I was, you know, a baby, and babies, you can bend them all around.” “After I apply it, I do it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-05d7-bc62-7042-13004007f722">L “Stevie is the keeper of the softball shorts.” “Blur the curl.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 600: R “I’m going to 6000, and then I’m dying.” L “Well fine, I’m going to 6001 and then I’m gonna retire, but I’m not gonna die.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Brian Williams, if you ever want to step foot in MY county..."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "You know what key it is, it's C!" "If you've been licking chinchillas, malic acid will have no affect on your tongue. It's been proven." "Oh, my flavors! That's a prank!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Everything’s bigger in Texas including bibs!” R “You know what? Everybody who comes to the Cheeseball brings a bib!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You might crazy up there in space, but you don't get that stupid. Do you?" "If an astronaut gets stupid enough to eat this in space, just cut the tether." (singing->) "I don't feel good and I'm gonna have to poop something orange big time later." “Oh, my goodness! I didn't expect it! That is so sour! Oh, my flavors!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 601: L “Look in the mirror, dude. Moustache issues.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Dave “A minute. Who needs a full minute?” L “We don’t do this for a living yet!” Charles “This has been a weird day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s on the verge of becoming Amish and there’s nothing wrong with that! Oh, it’s Jebediah!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “There’s gonna be fan fic about us and I’m not gonna read any of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “They got good coffee in that Nashville! Have you had the coffee?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 602: L “Hey, Enzo! Can you fax this document for me?” R “His ears perked when you said, ‘fax.’ Do you like to fax? You wanna get a fax machine? Do you think we should go into the dark ages and fax things?” L “He’s not a baby, he’s a dog, though. Hey, Enzo. I believe that you’re capable of faxing stuff.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “June, smell my glasses.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I know how to hold a newborn baby, but not a hairy dog.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 603: R “Hey, hey! You know what? I love watching that ‘Good Mythical Morning’ because I just sit there and embarrabask all about Link!” “Hey, man! Don’t be Webster on me!” “What you got, brother!” “Listen, junior! If you leave anymore residrink on our tables, I’m gonna make you sleep in the park!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I hope you’ve been taking notes, people, because your vernacular is now spectacular!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 604: R “You did that thing where you don’t listen to me.” (to Link->) “You’re a sugar genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Just call me Sugar Daddy. Sugarless Daddy.” (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/milliemanagtyde">Millie the Magical Mangatyde</a>) “Like opening a can of happiness. Pop the top on a can of happiness.” “It’s almost an insult at this point. Like, ‘What’s wrong with Sugar Daddy? He got no sugar left.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I was like, ‘if I could get Rosanna, the sweetest person on the internet to cold-cock me in the lower-, to give me an uppercut.” “It’d be like a bedtime story for my lower GI tract.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4ea0-fd33-66eb-4875d302a487">R “I would have paid to see that.” (about “Chocolate Starfish”->) “That’s too much information. I mean, you’ve nicknamed it? Really?” “Yeah, man. If you gonna cook that batter, you might as well just give me meat.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 605: L “Focus on the plan, not the exam.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0599-5bbd-28d0-59f8333f4896">GMMore: L “Put your parent’s money where your mouth is.” “Clear the air by muddying the waters.” (put that on a t-shirt)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 606: L “In the future, you will be able to open doors with your derriere.” “Everybody’s ears are different. I find myself looking at your ear a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-340c-67b4-816b-4c4f2c0c9a24">R “Yeah, yours are little and covered with hair, which makes yours unique like a snowflake.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 607: R “Dear aliens, I’m an actor.” “They’re not called ‘space jordans,’ they’re called ‘air jordans.’’ “When you get a star named you, that’s what happens...Your cremains will be shot into space by me personally by space cannon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Astronauts have their comfort.” “Orbital velocity of a toenail can just decapitate you. Fact.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 608: L “What’s with scientists and sleep?” “Scientists are sleepy people.” “I am in love with sleep. If I could do only one thing for the rest of my life, it’d probably be sleep.” “My wife, she’ll lay down and think, boy. I’ll roll over sometime and I can just see think fumes just coming off of her head.” “I just shut off all thoughts and get stupid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “...and Link, in particular, he’s good at a lot of things, he’s not so good at other things, but if there’s one thing that he is a champ at, it’s falling asleep and falling asleep quickly...” “It’s called ‘Blondor.’” “I’m a knight. I ride a two-headed dragon.” “I went to Blondor. I accomplished quite a bit, became king...”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ll play a little beat on the headboard with my fingers.” “Does me making a beat, does it disturb you? ‘Cause you haven’t mentioned it. Sends me right to dreamland.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What do you think, Rhett?” R “I don’t think. I don’t think anymore.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-21ec-d18e-2b2b-89e804c52666">R “He’s playing the headboard again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 609: R “Wood you like a log?” “Hey, I’m up here. Hello, I’m Rhettina. I’m a beautiful woman.” “Get a big pencil.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7432-daf8-3850-7e5407b89f37"><span>R “Oh, sorry. I’m not used to being a woman.” L “You knocked over the chair with your bosom?” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 610: L “I’m just trying to cover up for the fact that I’m addicted to Pinterest.” “There’s a lot of sweating that goes on when you wear a full duct tape outfit.” “I’ll put my feet in someone else’s back pockets.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You spend a lot of time with half a boyfriend, you get a whole boyfriend, you’re like, ‘whoo, this is good, this is good.’” “Shirts don’t need shoulders and we finally discovered it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We’ve never been great with the puppets, guys. Sorry about that.” “Your guy looks retired. My guy’s beautiful. I’m beautiful.” “So, I hear that there’s speculation that Becca is everything from my sister to daughter to... twin?” “I wonder if the puppet can babysit my kids.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c8-e306-208d-046617b32412">R “You can’t stop eating potato chips in general. It’s a fact.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 611: L “You know, my great great uncle died on the toilet. No, he was bit by a spider on the butt.” “Dude, getting your nails done is very relaxing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve used ice toilet paper before and it’s a lot better than you think.” “I love the idea of just hunkering down and spending a lot of time in the bathroom.” “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been driving down the road and I’ve complained about how I got one brewing.” “There’s one time when I’m not attracted to my wife. And I don’t want to look in her eye when that’s happening. And I definitely don’t want to be looking in her eye when I’m doing it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...I was just anxious to go to this shoot, and Rhett, you weren’t going to be there, so...You’re like my comedic security blanket…” “Jon Hamm starts beating me with a belt!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b459-13d0-db1d-7d2eef563e81">R “Record your dreams. It makes your life better.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 612: L “Thanks for coming out to the G, the M and the M!” “He needs to be committed.” “A little dainty goes a long way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Chunk.” R “We are still Chunk.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Lindsey “Our new plancing champion is Link, everybody!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Lindsey “It’s a German violin. Its name is ‘Excalibur.’’ “It’s about a hundred years old-” R “You’re kidding! Don’t let Link hold it. Listen, he’s ruined, he broke a guitar of mine in high school-” L “It should have a label on it that says ‘this is a hundred years old!’ Like, ‘Link, do not touch!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Rosin up your bow!” “You learn something new every hour with Lindsey Stirling!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What else do you know? With Lindsey Stirling.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 613: L “How many times have you thought, ‘this pie is too dry’?” R “Sometimes I think it’s too wet!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Search your hearts. There’s pie in there, cooling on the windowsill of your soul.” “Call me when cake gets a chart named after it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is there a pie anywhere in the world that can match this shirt?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Ice cream cake is my favorite cake.” “Cakes can be fun!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 614: L “This is pretty much a dream of mine. A huge bowl of cereal. Frosted Mini Wheats.” “I actually touched hair to my nose. That is gross. That is commitment.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s so conveniently eye level!” R "You're the first person that's ever told me that. 'Your armpits are so conveniently eye level!'"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R</span> <span>"When you're by yourself, who tells you that the pedestrians are there? Because it's always me when I'm driving with you."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It is a shot adrenaline.” “...it goes to my hands because my hands are where all the vehicle control is. I’ve noticed this many times.” “...all the energy in my body is transferred to my hands and I’m getting goosebumps thinking about it. I love it!” “I scared myself by holding up a throw that looked like a ghost.” “I never feel safe when wearing pants.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 615: L “and then for the next two hours, I cleaned every screen in the house.” R “I’m glad I wasn’t there! Sounds like a great time!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s in one of those moods. Cleaning screens again!” L “It feels so satisfying to have clean screens! You never knew how obstructed your vision of whatever was on the screen was until you’ve had the screen clean spree!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Wood you like a spoon?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 616: R “I like my name!” “I don’t think you can spoil a song. It’s, like, 3 minutes.” “In fact, our first girlfriend was named, ‘Leslie.’ Hey, Leslie, how ya doing? Hope you’re watching.” “I’ve never known a guy Leslie that I liked.” “‘Lufah’ is a DJ for children.” “Lufah in the house!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Making science true since 1984, or whenever we met." L “Making science true, one stupid statement at a time, I think is the t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Barbara’s’ are complicated. ...You can’t read a ‘Barbara.’” R “Really? I think ‘Barbara’s’ are the life of the party and they like to be called, ‘Barb’, for short. ‘Hey, Barb!’ And once you start calling ‘Barbara’, ‘Barb’, everything changes and they’re just always happy, they’re always happy to be there, they’re always happy to lend a hand!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-435a-acda-97dd-55267f9062bc"><span>GMMore: L “Think twice, three times a lady, before you name your child something.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 617: R “I’m a Taylor Swift fan. I got no shame.” “I like pain.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-f6f4-967b-a0c8-3452e2efe457">L “I love me some Arianda Grande.” (reading->) “‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase…’” R “Yeah, you do.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 618: L (singing->) “Are you feeling lethargic?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “All pea farmers grow their peas in lungs.” “The old eel in the eel trick.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (about trip to Costa Rica->)“...his name was Christian and he is the owner operator of Fox Cola. He makes Cola that is like, well I’m sure foxes would love it, but that’s just the name of it…” (about Dengue Fever->) “If you get a certain strain, if you get it twice, you die the second time. There’s like a 50% chance of dying the second time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-253d-50e1-db5f-2134209c9887">L “He makes cola for foxes.” “‘The Dengue Damper’ is what they call that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 619: R “Where’d you guys find a little dragon?” “I love wood. I know wood when I touch it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You keep punching me in the face, hand!” “I can’t smell letters. I cannot smell words.” “Are you smeeling what I’m smeeling? I smeel success!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Hey Link in the future, you look great in that billowy shirt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Okay, so what I’ve done the liberty of done doing here-” R “I think it’s ‘taken the liberty of doing,’ actually.” L “What I’ve did a liberty-” R “What I’ve done the liberty of doing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 620: L “Nothing says love like almost worn top of your ears.” “What woman doesn’t want to know that she’s loved by getting juice out the rear end of a dinosaur.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Baby, me plus you equals forever.” “Wind chimes are sexy. Put that on a t-shirt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “True north will always be in your heart, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-3b2b40ef-6a7a-b01a-1897-9ac1292fe4d4">R “Fastest way to a woman’s heart: wind chimes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 621: L “I’m sorry, there’s something in my eye. It’s love.” “I don’t wanna know how I’m gonna die, but I do wanna know when I’m gonna die, for just like, planning purposes. It would be nice to know.” “Well, I mean, it puts everything in perspective. Like, we should have that perspective anyway, but it kinda forces it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t meet people at the clinic.” “Body of a 90 year-old. You don’t want that. Trust me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?’” L “Ugh! No! Like, if I had a hunch, I would probably investigate it and tell people to make sure it won’t gonna happen!” R “I think I’m gonna die on this show! You know, we keep escalating the ridiculousness of the things that we’re eating,” L “Oh gosh, yeah.” R “and one of these days,...we’re gonna have a reaction and...that’s gonna be the last show! Show 6,001.” L “Well, if I had to choose, that’s a good way to go. I mean, documented, gonna get some views out of it. For you, I mean.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I don’t cry as much as I wish I would, um-” R “I can take care of that. Sounds like something my dad would say!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I don’t wanna believe in aliens.” R “Why?” L “It’s, they’re ugly. Circular argument.” R “I work with him. Every day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘If you knew in one year you would die suddenly, what would you change,’ would you change anything about the way that you are living and why?” L “I would embark on a yearlong search for my replacement.” “No, I’m talking about, of a father of my kids and a husband to my wife.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is just a little glimpse of how much of a control freak you are that you wanna control the rest of your wife's life in your absence!” “I went and said, I’m going to play poker at the Bellagio and I’m going to pay for our Cirque du Soleil, and I went and I did.” “What if the cloud burns?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We’re all gonna and one of us is gonna die before the other one and if it happens to be, like, in the next year, then I want her to be able to have a life and it not be defined solely by me being dead.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What kind of reality show would that be? That’s a good idea for a reality show, right?” Stevie “Widow peak…” L “Widow’s Peak!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Christy, my wife, she said, if I die first and, at a young age, or if I die young, I don’t want you to remarry at all, I want you to get a nanny, get a really ugly nanny for the kids.” “If she dies young, I’m to get a really ugly nanny to take care of my kids.” R “But when do you get to date again?” L “I don’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 622: L “Rhett, you don’t need an imaginary friend. I’m your real friend right here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t know you manage goats, properly, but when you do-.” L “Take ten percent off the top. Entertainment humor!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>More: R “I don’t remember all my great ideas like ‘what’s in the bag.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “People like to get things, it doesn’t matter what they are.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 623: R “When I smell my ten year-old’s hair from six feet away, he gets a shower…” “And you know what they say about navy! It cleans you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We should have a fire that’s always going on set.” L “A grooming fire!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-435b-9d62-90fa-9bf42d508366"><span>GMMore: L “Like, the first thing I thought of when we were gonna move into this studio space was, ‘I can get a urinal!’ and I don’t mean, like, beside my desk...” “Because my idea of ‘arriving’ is being able to pee in a urinal at my place of work or home. If one of these days, I get to build my own house, I’m gonna, there’s gonna be a place for a urinal in my own house.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 624: R "It's like gymnastics are happening in my mouth." “Mayonnaise was a mistake. That’s not the first time I’ve said that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve just witnessed the first time that I’ve eaten sushi with raw fish in it and not wretched.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 625: L “Over seven million views helps to take the awkwardness out of an intersection awkward exchange.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I smell my face in a way I’ve never smelled my face and I’ve got eel butt blood on my palm!” “My nose smells my face.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 626: L “Thank you for letting us into your brains, your minds, your thoughts, your ears, your eyes, your hearts, your soul on a daily basis.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 627: R "Ah, this is so hot. Am I the first time you've ever done this, for a girl?""What have you been eating?" </p>
<p>L "Come down for a landing in my arms, baby." "Yeah, you are the first time I've ever done this." "You, sorry" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ll show you a party trick! Burn an apple!” “It’s a Blackle,....Blapple.” “Chase, what’s your secret? Chinchilla-petting?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 628: L “But guys, put away the revenge. Come on, let’s channel positivity into polka dots on other things.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If I said it wrong by accident, it would be ‘sit pains’, which I can relate to sometimes.” “Whenever I say something funny, sometimes Rhett just says, ‘Wow, he finally said something funny. What a surprise.’” (joking->) “Matter of fact, this is it. Christy, you have a problem. You’re a tom peeper.” “And no one’s just a peeper.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-f6d4-556a-5d20-8a221b605c64">R “You got a peeping tom? She’s a peeping tom? I knew it.” “Once a peeper, always a peeper.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 629: R “Let it go and make it flow.” “You poor it, we’ll endure it.” “You can add to all your taglines: Never mistaken for pond water.” “You gush it, we’ll crush it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Alex, you’re a good pourer. I can just tell by listening.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You wet yourself!” R “That’s not my water, man. That’s my drinking buddy’s water!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “The tap water here in LA is notoriously bad, but back in North Carolina, my nanny, she had well water and it would taste-” R “Like a well.” L “like a well, but in a good way.” R “Like dirt.” L “In a good way.” R “Like it’s been surrounded by dirt.” L “In a good way.” R “In a good way.” L “In a good way.” “Her bottle said, ‘in a good way.’” Tastes like Granny’s well.” Both “In a good way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7433-89fa-702d-3de26f6f2394"><span>R “Don’t suck on the apparatus.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 630: R “Eat chicken and then stick the bones inside of the broccoli and give it to your children.” "You can talk like Link if you want, but I don't." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Like garden peas, no, those are the balls of, like, green monkey babies.”"Tossy, Tossy, Tossy!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Alexis got a voice-change operation.” “When our kids modify nerf guns, that’s just code for breaking them.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 631: R “What do you get if you cross and termite and a dinosaur?” L “What?” R “DYNOMITE!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Myrtle Beach is the fun capital of my dad. He has a beach house there.” “A dolphin is a fish.” “A snail and turtle? That would be real slow. Slowest animal ever!” “I’ve always said that a turtle is just a snake with a shell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Wow, Link, you should have been a zoologist!” L “I can be a animal mater! What are those called? A breeder.” “I’m gonna be a breeder of animals. It’s not gonna be creepy at all.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 632: R “At least you’re with the ones you love.” I could pee in my pants right now and you know what, I wouldn’t even be embarrassed cause I’m gonna be dead in a second.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Some of which are already dead, It’s weird, they’re there, it’s morbid.” “I’m gonna miss not being alive.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Have you watched ‘The Purge’?” R “Nope. I was home alone one time and I wanted to watch it, but I got scared.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I mean I would eat a LOT of cookie dough.” “I think the point is we need to be cultivating relationships with bodyguards.” “I can’t be trusted with a bowie knife.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-1590-0797-dc9a-ec297afe8d03">R “As soon as I find out the world is ending, I’m going to a yacht.” “That was the worst attempt at hurting me that anyone has ever done.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 633: R “Woo! I’m a high-heeled lumberjack!” (singing) “I’m alone in the woods and I sleep in a van.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Yeah, manly lumberjack, yeah!” (singing) “You’ve got to get out of bed, slip on the some heels and slap life in the face with an ax.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (to Jesse) “Baby, I’m sorry for every time I have ever complained about you complaining about your feet hurting because that is hellish, that is a hellish experience right there wearing those things.” “There’s so much cultural pressures for me to wear wooden sunglasses. This is a lumbersexual.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2377-b1d4-364c-5084c247b29e">L “It’s like man, when she’s wears them high heel shoes, it’s like a flashy fishing lure.” “It’s like putting a piece of, like, tin foil on the end of your line, man, and those bass just wanna gobble it up.” “Men are like bass and women are like fishing lines.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-19d4-484a-5a5deac9d64a"><span>GMM 634: R “You’re not gonna sell these socks, lady!” “I want that guy’s soul.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 635: R "But let me tell ya, it works without fail. It's how I got my wife." "After seeing this, I'm thinking about projecting my own face on the front of my house so I walk through my own mouth to enter it." "Okay, well I didn't know this was a date. I thought it was a beard stroking exercise." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You kept backing away from her slowly? I'm sure that's what she was hoping." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Who knew that when you said 'hot diggity dog' so much, your left eye would start watering just a little." "It's a bagel crown." "I do, Noah. It's sprat." "You're supposed to lubricate a machine with that." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Noah "Do you guys have any food allergies, like, is there anything you guys can't eat?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I've tried to discover if I do and so far, nothing's backfired." "They ate the sprat and drank the clak!" "That's the name of Chunk's next album: 'Eat the sprat and drink the clak.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 636: R “Saturday mornings cartoons are so yesterday. It’s all about Song Biscuits!” “Come on down to purple town.” “The king is tasting music. Do a little beatbox. It’s like popcorn.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 637: L “Thanks for the geography lesson.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Question. How hard is it to hunt a goat? I mean, really.” R “Have you ever killed a goat?” L “No, but they're just standing there.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Your voice sounds weird, Link. I’m gonna comment about it. What if it stays like this, guys? When are ya gonna stop commenting? I’m really self-conscious about my voice. This is how it is now, forever!” “It’s getting a little graphic around here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You wanna talk about me taking a bath more?” R “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hold on, I just said ‘rectally.’ So that was up the butt. I thought an enema was, was up the peehole.” R “Are you crazy?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-5165-d23b-d74b42c9164f"><span>L “I was like, rectally, why would you put a catheter in your butthole? Okay, um, hmm. Dot com!” R “Why would you put a catheter in your butthole dot com.” L “Don’t register that. Register any domain you want. I don’t recommend it being that one. Also, look out for killer whales in a dingy.” R “Look out for killer whales in a dingy dot com.” L “And look out for a nurse if you’re in a dingy.” R “Dot com.” L “‘cause she might have a ladder tube.” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 638: R “Oh, we had a nice bathroom. Big stalls, tall toilets. I’m a tall man.” “There’s nothing like a green woman.” “What color will she be next? (laughs) That sounds like something my dad would say.” “...I’m proud to also announce the first ever ‘Good Mythical Morning Book Club’!” “What womens have you dated, Wil Wheaton?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 639: L “I’m more human than you are. I’m more human than human.” “When I clench my buttox, my whole head just moves.” “I’ve spent years toning my face muscles and head muscles.” “All of my genetics were poured into my face. I don’t even have genetics in the rest of my body!” (singing->) “Your lips are movin’, but you’re not flarin’, flarin’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Your facial muscle control, Link, is staggering.” L “More human and human.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You could invent this for kids out there who can’t play traditional sports. You could start a campaign for facial sports.” L “I invented this one. This one’s called the ‘skinstache’. It’s a skin moustache.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, you could have been an athlete if this was a sport!” L “A facelete!” R “This is your arm! Could have been armlete!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “There’s like three or four different things working for you. You got a long tongue, you got a long neck, you got a short upper arm and you got wide shoulders-” L “And don’t forget the brains.” R “And you’re very smart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “My tongue smells funny.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 640: R “Listen, I gotta taste the spinning taco. This day can’t end.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I actually feel like I could smell a book right now!” R “Nah, that’s just me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Can you tell the Italians goo for me?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Here’s some tiramisu ----.” R “It says ‘cake’, Link.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-aabd-ca82-59bf6d41625e"><span>L “I thought I’d give it an alternate pronunciation.” “I always wondered what it would feel like for a turkey to scratch my back.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 641: L “I’ve never seen an astronaut eat a hot dog.” “Hot dogs on a menu is like putting a scratch-and-sniff sticker on a Mona Lisa.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s as if the hot dog was created for the human mouth. The hamburger, on the other hand, was created for some sort of large cartoon character with a big circular mouth.” “My mama used to make a hot dog sandwich for me to take to elementary school with me. White bread, ketchup, mustard, hot dog sliced in half so I wouldn’t choke on ‘em. And sure, by the time I opened it up at lunch, it was soggy and nasty, kids looked at me like I was funny, but you know what? Inside that hot dog sandwich was love. My mama loved me and she chose hot dogs.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c7-95aa-6dbf-3e9a0b504a69"><span>GMMore: R “When I look at that gelatinous stuff coming out of that pipe, I think to myself, ‘how do they make it taste so good? How do you make pig lips and cow tongue and bile taste so good?!’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 642: L “He’s so bored, he’s got to play with bubbles?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Mr. Rhett. What do you want? You want a cheeseburger to just come out of the door?” L “It cooks, too?” R “I’m sure it will!” L “It will not.” R “By 2035, it’ll do whatever you want it to do! It’ll discipline your children! You won’t have to do anything except just lean back!” L “Don’t make it pull over, kids! It’ll do it! I won’t even be doing anything!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “In 2035, we’ll all be leaning back and enjoying watching the Titanic as we drive around in our Mercedes.” L “That is poetic!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m coming back to ya, Lynda.” R “Lynda’s always there.” L “Hey, Lynda. I’m coming back to ya.” R “I like the name, Lynda, on a woman or a website.” L “Trying to just rekindle our old flame so I can learn some Logic X. Me, you and Logic X.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I can parallel park with the best of ‘em.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 643: R “Good Mythical top of the mornin’ to ya! Yes, I said that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Stonehenge is a big emoji. I do know that.” R “Yeah, you have to be in an airplane to see that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “This is an Irish song?” L “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7950-d0c8-3169-3a91e49d4143"><span>R “Should we stop this? ‘My sources say no.’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 644: R “Link, you’re better than this!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Grit lips. So good, that could be a lip balm. ‘Hey, man. You heard about ‘grit lips.’? They’re selling it at rhettandlink.com/store.’” L “That’s something I say to a woman I’m sweet on. ‘Hey, grit lips. Come over here and pucker up." R "A woman you're sweet on? Okay..." L "Like, you got some gritty lips, girl.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "It's so distinctive, Link. I almost said, 'Linktive.' So distinctive, Linktive. Can I call you Linktive?" L "Sure."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 645: L “No cat should be groomed, period.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7951-163f-f8ae-d2c739e922bb"><span>R (to June) “You’re the best dog in the United States.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 646: L “I have a theory, seriously, that the greatest actors are the most intelligent actors, like, I think it takes a lot of intelligence to embody someone else effectively.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “All geniuses watch ‘Sesame Street.’” “Smart people bounce, man. That’s why I’m gonna be starting to do it! Sign me up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “That’s how you become a genius. You gets lots of wedgies in grade school.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7969-3d35-4495-1d2ce2bf08b7"><span>R “...I have always thought that darkness of your eyebrows is an indication of your intelligence quotient.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 647: R “This is about me, man! This isn’t about them, this is about me winning a game!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Who would ever wanna watch people retch for entertainment?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I have an idea for a toaster that doesn’t scare you.” L “You’re scared of toasters?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s called The No Scare Toaster.” L “For people who are afraid of toasters. Your nightmares are over! That’s good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Morgan, what’s yours?” Morgan “Jeopardy, I guess.” L “So you’re retired, is what you’re saying?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What are the chances that dad knows anything on this game?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We should do a whole game show that’s just running out of a house, running out onto the patio when it’s got a sliding glass door ‘cause there’s nothing better than watching people run through a sliding glass door.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 648: L “This guy’s becoming more suspicious and more annoying the more I watch him.” “This dude can’t keep his mouth shut and his hands down.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Check out the cactus.” “These two guys, the ‘Good Mythical Morning’ hosts, definitely part of the Illuminati.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “He’s really interested in you seeing the cactus on his shirt?” R “Yeah.” L “What kind of guy does that?” R “That guy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is like the sweatshirt that you get when you join the Illuminati, okay!” L “Not to be worn in public, usually.” “He probably got a fine for wearing that on the internet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He said, ‘Illuminati’!” L “That was a mistake!” “They shouldn’t have let that guy in!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “That sweatshirt was hand-crafted for me to wear on this show on a regular basis at regular intervals of prime numbers, pay attention, by Mrs. Illuminati herself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c7-d650-39d5-c5d9e2897d4b"><span>L “Can I download something on ya here?” R “Download it, man.” L “I’ve been freaked out by the Freemasons for years!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 649: L "We thought, 'why not take an item that you always step on and get really upset and make an entire shoe out of it?' That's right, the ubiquitous building toy for children of all ages-" Both "LEGOs!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This isn’t the first time I’ve been in heels in an awkward situation.” “I feel like a horse in Cheese-land.” “Are your feet getting more literate?” “Foot butter straight from the foot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link, could you anoint my feel with oil?” (saying in an old man voice->) “It’s the year 2075 and I’ve got ball-shoes.” “That’s some good foot butter!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 650: L “We bout to cover his face and my body in questionable stuff.” “We’re so crazy, we’re burning three lights at once!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Give me that sweet face, Link.” “Well, I like grape mustard, they call me Sweet Face!” “You look like a futuristic space woman. Wanna go on a date?” <br class="kix-line-break"/>GMMore: L “I mean, let’s be honest. We don’t email people back.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-217c-6a7d-3f86eaa80caa">R “It’s Macaulay Culkin. He turned into a cookie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 651: R “They’ll really be onto something if when you dance hard enough, it raises the roof.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 652: R “Link, it’s a ‘Portable Beauty Lift High Nose Electric Nose Lifter Massage Remove Blackheads.’ I mean, it doesn’t get any better than this.” L “That’s a noseful.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Sometimes, I get my ipad and my iphone back from my kids, and I’m like, ‘Wh- Did you take snot from your nose and purposely apply it to this device?’ I can only imagine if they were in the pooper!” “Shepherd gets on my back and he says ‘let’s play, “Where’s Shepherd?”’, but he’s on my back. He’s six years old and he wants to play it all the time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c8-20a0-2ee1-927a1831e8a3"><span>L “I definitely fear that I’m gonna wipe my butt with my phone.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1ff-e9de-ed3b-060f856eb835"><span>GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More.’ It’s more of what we’ve been doing, but it’s a little different.” R “Oh! The More is?” L “I just mean, like, in general. ‘Oh! The More is!’” R “That’s what More is!” L “We do it every time, yeah.” R “More is, I-” L “It’s more of what we’ve been doing, but a little bit different.” R “You know what? I didn’t realize until last week that this was filmed.” L “And now, we’re not gonna get the real you anymore.” R “I’ve spent hundreds of episodes just thinking that we’re just shooting the breeze. I was like, Link’s a good friend. You know, he just wants to connect for, like, ten minutes after our show every day, and then I found out-.” L “Before we get up and get on with our lives.” R “you were doing it for the views and I’ve really just changed the whole way I feel about it!” L “If I was doing it for the views, I’d be eating more junk.” R “Can we do a More More? Can we do a Most?” Can we do a Good Mythical Most and that’s not filmed and it’s just me and you talking?” L “Yeah, man. It could just be our lives.” R “Our lives!” It can just be our lives!”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 653: L "If eyes are the window to the soul, then the face is the front of the house, and facial expressions are the paint on the house that constantly changes color to show you what the house is feeling."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think I’m gonna be pretty good at this because sometimes I just look at people’s faces and don’t look at any other parts of their body and I know what they’re doing.” L “Well, dates like that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7958-3236-b329-c32cabeca9dc"><span>R “I gotta look at people’s faces better!” L “Yep, you know. There’s an art to this.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You look like a sad apple at the state fair.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R</span> <span>"Don't say yes to the combo.” “I feel like I just aggressively ate a sundee.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 654: R “I kinda like smelling like cheese. I’ve wanted to work at a cheese factory.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d3e7-dde5-183e-7573d2645701">GMMore: L “Eddie got in a fight at Disneyland and they almost kicked him out. He’s really upset, and if you’re gonna talk to him, refer to him as ‘Bonnie Kathleen’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 655: L “When you’re really confident, you don’t even have to speak English.” “Confidence kinda sounds like air eeking out of a balloon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “As the food comes up, the anxiety comes down. That’s how I like to look at it.” R “I never percieve this in this way. From now on,“ L “You’ll look at it differently.” R “this is a revelation for me!” “I thought you were just throwing up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “George Washington Carver is one of my favorite males of all time!” “If people say, what superpower would you have if you could have a superpower…and I don’t say flying, I say, pointing at a postcard and being there. You might say, ‘what about teleportation, wouldn’t that be easier?’ No, I like to have to go to the store and get the postcards.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I can only smell through you, Jen.” “When in doubt, order now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-cacd-a9fd-ec9e8408477f"><span>R “ Linkella and Rhettella.” L “Anybody want to spread some Link on some wafer?” “Peanut butter and Link? On a spoon?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 656: R "I get to eat these peeps, 'cause they're just little ducks, or chicks made from marshmallows. They're not raw eggs."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7958-b4a2-08bf-af59c17500f5"><span>GMM 657: L “What’d you learn from us today?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We could be creating a meme, unknowingly.” "This is called a conversation. Join it!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-83f0-f6b9-89e70df6dc14"><span>L “Never have I been more happy to have been wrong about something!” “Eddie can make a Face Blanket, but he’s not barcode material.” "I'm gonna be a rapper! I'm gonna call myself ‘Ritz Cracker.’"</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 658: L "It's like human Drano." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "We don't even show up anymore. We're not even here. This is a program." "Don't give away our secrets, man." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-148a-2ef6-2495-36c50078bf12">L "...as we've shared many times, Rhett and Link, Rhett and I-" R "I'm Rhett, he's Link. Welcome to the show." L "I just spoke to myself in third person. I spoke of myself." R "Yeah, you can't speak to yourself in third person. That would be weird." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-148a-2ef6-2495-36c50078bf12">L "The words that come out of my face sometimes have nothing to do with anything that's happening in my brain."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 659: L “Peoples be suing other peeps for some totes ridics reasons!” “Vomiting’s fine, just don’t get up and run into a door frame!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Unrestricted merriment! That’s my life theme!” “I will say, we will never eat blended rat on this show. We have standards.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think he had a case here.” L “Really?” R “A case of bud light!” L “You didn’t do that on purpose. That’s why you’re laughing so hard. It just came out! You backed into that joke!” R “I walked right into that one and then rescued it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-4741-3184-f89f3368ec1c"><span>GMMore: R “Gotta have a kidney placeholder.” L “It’s like a prenup for your kidney.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 660: R “I call it ‘Le poulet de Eiffel tower avec Pac-Man.’” “...I am the king at creating meals from random stuff from the refrigerator...my favorite creation is what I call a ‘cracker cheese plate’ that I came up with as a middle schooler…” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Nava-nope!” "We just dough-minated!" (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Now, I can smell the Durian kinda coming through. I can smell a dead body in there.” “If you can get through a carrot, you can get through a human finger.” “Make it through the seven stages of gooey goodness.” “We have to have a really ridiculous analogy for everything we eat.” "We do, we do, we do."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-4e15-6b5c-c7cd-48d723ffbac7">L “I might get into cutting stuff now that we have this board. ‘You guys have anything you want me to slice?’ You know, I could get into that.” "This has got a peanut lead but then the backgr-, then the follow-up is sawdust. It's like something that would be in the bottom of a snake cage, including the snake poop." "Thanks for mailing us stuff, guys. We appreciate everything." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 661: R “Dolk is my favorite graffiti artist! I’m gonna commit a crime so I can go and experience Dolk on a daily basis!” “Oh, Dolk. You and your irony!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I want some ice cream in the shower. I’m just living a prison dream, I’m just thinking.” L “No one will see you eating ice cream in the shower ‘cause it’s so private.” R “Nobody. Just me and my ice cream.” L “And your soap. Don’t eat the soap thinking it’s the ice cream.” R “Keep the soap apart from the ice cream.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I’m not going to kill Link.” L “It’s impossible anyway. You couldn’t kill me if you tried.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “From now on, all facts will be given in unison.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 662: R “...I’d like to have a guitar made with strings made from my skin, my guts and then you learn how to play the guitar, awesome classical guitar, and you go on a career classical guitar playing.” L “I’m not gonna do that ‘cause I have to grow out my fingernails”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Put some of my ashes in a Pringle can, too.” “My gut’s are gonna be for the guitar, I’m going in a Pringles can and put me in a book that you’re writing.” “And make meals for me everyday just in case I come back. What are you doing if you die?” L “I’m just gonna go in a cardboard box.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If I die first, you have got to put me on display right here and keep doing the show without me. You can’t get a new host!” “And if you die first-” L “Do that to me!” R “We’re shaking on it.” L “Let’s just air shake.” “We’re air shaking on this one. It’s kinda like pinky promising with an index finger.” R “Just trying to leave a legacy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R</span> <span>"</span><span>She dated Frank Sinatra</span> <span>and Elvis Presley. I’ve heard of both of those guys. And dating both of them is a pretty big deal. I would date both of them!” L “Right, me too.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “People do strange stuff. Have we not established that on this show yet?” L “We’ve established that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 663: L “You should just feel stupid for not listening to yourself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “One of the best movies of all time, one of my favorite movies, lots of people have seen it. If you haven’t seen The Princess Bride, you need to watch it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac95-eb4c-9b6d-8c0b9c11d620"><span>GMMore: L “I’m smarter than you. Just live with it.” “I’ve been wrong so much by accident that I’m not going to put it past myself.” </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 664: R “Put your arms in, Neal!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I could poke your eye out with my nipples right now.” “This goes out to all the mythical beasts out there. All of you out there in mythical beast land, don’t try this!” “Hey, look! There’s a Sprite down in here!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Why are we holding hands?” L “Cause I need you right now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-adfb-5f8e-f49e-63970219cd73">(Unedited version, added: R “I feel like I could sand something with my goosebumps. Like I can sand wood with my goosebumps right now.”)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Alex, can you help zip this thing up here?” R “You want somebody to zip your little sleeping bag?” L “You know what, I can do that. I’m a big boy. Help me anyway.” R “Says adult man in sleeping bag sitting at desk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We need a hot tub in this building. Can we get a hot tub installed? Can somebody put a hot tub on set? There should be a hot tub on this set. We should do the whole show from a hot tub.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ae09-2e55-5246-1e51cda34565">L “The gifs. Can’t wait for that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 665: R "We are happy to announce that we have finally and officially moved into our new building!" L "New studio, new offices, it's nice!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Alright, Henry. Everything's fine, buddy." R "Everything's going to be just fine." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Don't seal your hand in with Henry. He doesn't like that. He doesn't want that." "Going to squishy town, Henry." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Henry has never fit so many places and you can still cuddle him. He's not quite as forgiving though." L "But you know what? I don't think he'll ever forgive us. Look at how happy he looks, though!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 666: R “You know there’s over four thousand species of flora on this planet, and if you’ve ever seen the M-night Shamalamadingdong movie, ‘The Happening,’ you know that you should be scared of all of them! Spoiler alert!” “Stinging bush! Actually scary!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “They put your heart to sleep. It’s like slowly falling out of love with life and dying.” “I touched some eyeballs and my heart stopped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Don’t wanna mix breaths.” “What are you using Carmex for? You have herpes? Finally? Joining the ranks of mouth herpes.” “I would hate me if I ran into me here.” (->put that on a t-shirt, sorta) “I wanna change my hairstyle, I just fear the comments.” “Let’s shave our heads like we did that Easter break in college…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "One of the things I’ve noticed and one of the things that people have pointed out to me is that I have uh, probably for every time that you adjust your glasses, I lick my own lips." L “Is there a correlation?" R “No.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c9-525e-6139-833654874cc9">“I would hate me if I ran into me at an airport. I don’t like men who spend this much time on their hair.” “I’m sorry to all women that I’ve ever judged about you had saying that there was something up with your hair because of the humidity. I had so much trouble with my hair on the East Coast and I felt like such an idiot.” “I almost went back to the buzzcut while in North Carolina.” “I identify with women everywhere.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 667: L “‘The Glass Wolf.’ That’s a good name for a Minecraft account, like, ‘oh, here comes the Glass Wolf!’” R “You playing Minecraft again?” L “A little bit.” R “A little bit on the side, they call me The Glass Wolf.” L “Yeah, I just gave it away. Look for me on the Minecraft servers, The Glass Wolf.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s not mad to fall madly in love with someone, especially if their name is got “the handsome” in it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “He would drench his beard, his clothes, and wall hangings, like everything around him in ambergris.” “It is a solid, waxy, flammable substance of a blackish color produced in the digestive system of a sperm whale. Sounds like it smells great, dudn’t it? Let me rub some of that on my beard!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Fishy and fecal. My two favorite smells.” “You gotta like a man who has distinct tastes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “We are proud to say that ‘Good Mythical Morning’ is up for two different Webbys and then our Nerd vs. Geek rap battle is up for another Webby.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-357e-64cd-604f8636c71b"><span>L “Let’s be honest. We want to win the People’s Voice Award...”</span></span></span></p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 521-666tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-04-21:2452419:BlogPost:22915332016-04-21T00:30:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Apr 20 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-520</a>, …</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Apr 20 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-520</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 667-813</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 814-967</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 968-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 521: L “I believe so strongly about this that I have even switched overs to unders in stranger’s homes.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-78d87cf4-9fc5-cb78-8082-343834692895">“As a trained industrial engineer, I’ve been taught to believe that with every choice, there is a best way to do anything.” </span>“Don’t say the word splatter.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Anytime I accidentaly but an over in my house, I’m gonna do the little motel thing just to make myself feel high class.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...efficiency should not be valued over flexibility. I believe that flexibility makes you a person that is easier to get along with, is easier to have a relationship with, is easier to work with, etcetera.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-78d87cf4-9fc6-2e43-f989-902d17a10ce9">“Life is full of things that get on your nerves, but if you give yourself these little obstacles to overcome and experience, you’ll be better at being flexible in life when it comes to things that you really need to be flexible.” “That’s the principle here. Do the opposite!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Efficiency and control are not the same thing.” “I think we both have things to learn here.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 522: L “Every other episode from now on, one of us is gonna be asleep!” R “Probably not a good change to the show.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Men can be beauties!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I will say that, true test of friendship, you passed. I do appreciate it.” R “I cleaned up your child’s vomit...”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Next time any one of my family member’s vomits, I’m gonna call you up, even if you’re not there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 523: L “Good Mythical Morning to you all!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Did you love ‘Saved by the Bell’? Did you watch it every week, religiously? I did.” “Swoop swoop on the doop doop.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You take Keith Urban’s hair and put it on a soccer mom and it fits.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9654-b112-8647-a015c188189b">R “Hashtag Urban soccer.” L “I gotta wash my crotch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 524: R “I say to the future, ‘Welcome future, I’m glad to be a part of you and I look forward to riding this wave right into the future, future.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “When your pants are smarter than me, there’s a problem.” R “That’s when you know you’ve arrived.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“I don’t want my fork to make me feel guilty for eating, though.” “I’ll be repositioning this crotch material, why don’t you like and comment on this video!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’ which I’m going to do shirtless from now on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-3e2b-4774-1ab1-8c21bff66eef">R “You know what this is? It’s like a clown’s brain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 525: R “Here’s to you, Vanilla Ice!” “‘What’s that in your hand?’ ‘It’s my hedgehog, baby.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-b769-03c8-48ef-5d6b90a52534">L “Snickledong.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 526: R “Contrary to popular belief, a narcissist is not a cyst that is narci.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A narcissist is defined as the response that a person in the deep south gives when asked ‘is that a mole?’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...we inflate the image of ‘Rhett & Link’ as a brand, but we don’t take it personally. Like, we speak of ‘Rhett & Link’ as if it’s a thing and it kinda puts it on something so it’s not just, like, ‘I’m building you up today’ and vice versa.” “There’s a reason why we interview people before we hire them. Because we don’t hire narcissists.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-6818-224a-f4db-62e6496ce100">R “Yeah, we don’t have, like, a session where we build each other up. Maybe we should.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 527: L “Who knew that the best way to communicate with millions of people was through a cookie?” “Put your print where your mouth is!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We’re on a donkey kick.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Oh, I’m charming? I didn’t know.” L “Modesty is enhancing your charm.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What are the chances that I don’t have a future, guys?” L “The days of your future have passed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9655-3ab2-0373-33e4a5c0107b">R “This is what the game is, ‘does Rhett have a future?’!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 528: R “...Sometimes you just don’t expect something to be double-awesome!” “It was the peak of my existence. I don’t think it gets any better than that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Mariachi band and a bounce house, there was no actual bouncing, but it was still very much something I will remember the rest of my life.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There are feathers in bubble gum. I don’t know if you knew that.” “Little Link, she called me.” “I feel so good about myself for once. I usually feel okay about myself. It’s not a pity party. I just feel great about myself.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c8-8992-bd47-c91b4fe2f4a9">R “You are great at blowing bubbles, but sometimes you tell me things like this and it makes me think, ‘Link needs to be in therapy.’” “We’ll call this ‘Good Mythical More: Men chew gum.’” (to L->)“You’re like a master! You should have your own YouTube channel. ‘Bubble Man.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 529: L “Whenever I go to the disco, I expect lots of poutine!” “See? I’m culturally sensitive. Join me as in my world tour!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4e8-f3b2-c047-db5d008be31b"><span>R “You’re right, Link! You’re the official ambassador to Cheesistan!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 530: R “You find something that you’re passionate about and you find something that you’re talented at, and if they’re the same thing, bingo, that’s what your YouTube channel should be about.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s the stupidest rationale for cologne I ever heard. You wanna smell like a burnt cigar?” R “No, like a Cuban man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I like lentils. I have a weak spot. I predict that I am going to love some Boondi. I might name my fourth child ‘Boondi.’” “You’re feeding yourself as if you were a horse.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 531: L “When I’m in a grocery store and I’m going down the aisle and then, all of a sudden, it’s like, I feel something. I turn around and there’s somebody staring at me, some old man grabbing the Fruit Loops. Like, why is that dude grabbing the Fruit Loops staring at me?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s staring at me. I felt it and my hair stood up, man!” L “Your hair’s always standing up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Rhett? You there?” R “Yeah.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Now say ‘hot for teacher.’” R “Hot for Ms. Locklear!” L “Shsssshshss. Something wrong with my camera. It just shsssshss’d.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Well this would be a good show. Welcome to ‘Good Mythical Morning!’” “If you can’t see the camera, the camera can’t see you.” “We’re proving science again!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 532: R “I might have punch this guy if he did this to me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Would you pay to see this? I’d pay for it to stop! I mean this as a compliment. I could see you doing this.” L “What, ‘cause I’m not afraid to go up to people with creepy baby dolls and [they] crawl on their head?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4e9-581c-5e45-ecb5cb3f3a24"><span>R “Drink the coconut juice. Lick it off of the ground.” L “Bow down and worship my high-waisted sweatpants.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 533: L “Step right up, get yourself your deep-fried lemon! Available only at Crispy Town! Get yourself a iced cold tea with a piping hot fried lemon wedge!" "Fried lemon pie at Crispy Town." "We got some dancing wheat grass over here at Crispy Town!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "We both kissed it! We both independently kissed it!" R "Part of the sales pitch!" L "Every lemon wedge personally kissed by the Fry Daddies."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "It's the only thing at Crispee Towne that's not crispy, is the toothpaste." "You hear about Crispee Towne this year? They got deep fried toothpaste, they keep your hygiene up, man." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Ugh-a! Hot!" L "Your IQ was checked at the door when beginning this exercise, which is appropriate." "A lot of food establishments focus on food, not at Crispee Towne."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 534: L “I wasn’t thinking about spitting on the president.” “All I’m trying to say is how close I was to the president, if I popped a ‘p,’ some of my DNA might would have hit the president.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “But, no one’s allowed to take pictures out the window into the Rose Garden.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I took a picture of George Washington's’ china because, think about that, he’s the first president!” L “I know, but what are you gonna do with that picture?” R “Show it now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 535: R “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I thought that we should die on the same day, just to see if we can work that out.” L “Well, you’re going five hours earlier. Is that the deal?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If we weren’t doing this, what we’re saying is that we may not be friends anymore.” R “Right.” (laughs) L “Well, I don’t know if that’s true. We certainly have a stronger friendship because we’re working on this together.” R “No, we would still be friends.” “We’d have shared hobbies.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Your mind works in interesting ways.” “I wish there was an easier way to say ‘spoiler alert’!” “Two guys, one guitar.” “We should go to a fair together!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Two guys who are in business together should wear matching hats, A, and this makes me think we should have a side business like Crispee Towne!” L “So, this is the start of the Crispee Towne uniform. It starts with a duct tape hat!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I just made a weird noise with my chair and it sounded like a fart.” L “Hey, this is our show. We can fart it up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Read the letter, my bro! Can I start calling you ‘my bro’ like, that’s what Pewdiepie does?” R “Please don’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s my new life motto: Be an Oprah. Be an Oprah or make friends with an Oprah.” “You want to be Gale. You want the benefits.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 536: L “Don’t pee on a battery. I don’t know if anything will happen, but don’t try it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ceab-00cb-ca22-ac15a615e12e">R “Urine poured inside of a shoe can be used to start a fight.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 537: L “Today, we channel the happiness. Working title for the show if we ever change it: ‘Channel the happiness.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I currently collect, it’s not too big of a collection, but Hawkman memorabilia.” L “I mean, I collect Merle Haggard records. Feel free to mail those to me, in any condition!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-31ad-2f3e-d5eda9db52f8"><span>L “So your poop represents your possessions and the act of pooping represents a loss of control.” R “Yeah, so all those little movie tickets are just your little turds-” L “I don’t still have them, by the way” R “Oh! You let your turds go!” “So my Hawkman collection up on my little shelf up there is just turds.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 538: R “I hate the world. I hate that we exist” “I can take magma that turns into lava, & I can swallow it, 'cause I'M NOT A CHUMP!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Take your glove off, stupid.” “Every breath out is like time travel into a stupid, stupid place.” “You can be anybooodddyyy” “I’ve got a, right here, a cauldron of torture.” “I feel like my right nipple’s gonna spout fire. My left nipple, fine. Right nipple, fire.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 539: L “On yesterday’s episode, we both consumed the hottest pepper in the world and thanks for your concern. I wanted to just give an update and say that I don’t think I will ever fully recover from what happened.” R “Well, I can personally attest to the fact that eleven hours after Link and I consumed the pepper, I was up and about, I was up and at ‘em. Link was in the fetal position on a loveseat.” L “With like, clammy sweat, pale skin, promising to myself, and to God, that I would never do that again.” R “If they make a hotter pepper, I’m gonna eat it!” L “We’re okay. Thanks for your concern.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I did get my haircut. Thanks for noticing.” “What kind of world do we live in where Harry Potter can’t get a dinosaur for more than a few months but Snooki’s got one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, you are the dinosaur king.” “Linksterasaurus Nealadactyl.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 540: R “...we had a good friend named Gregg who would get some premium stuff and one time, he got some premium Edy’s ice cream and we had the communal Walmart ice cream and we just got really excited one day. We ate half of his Edy’s ice cream, then we looked at each other and we were like, ‘we gots to fix this.’ We took the Walmart ice cream and we put it into the Edy’s ice cream and we smoothed it over the top. Now, the difference is, the Walmart ice cream was really yellow and the Edy’s ice cream is really white so when he opened it up, he was like, ‘you punks ate my ice cream!’ and he threw a soccer ball at us.” L “That was an amazing day…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-6fc5-e6e9-6b7a4351570a"><span>R “Top trash will take care of it.” L, Both “Put that on a t-shirt!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 541: L “I like sausage in general, but something tells me that I'm not gonna like these sausages.""It tastes... like it’s hanging down there. You can’t copy me, No. I took a stand, you can’t copy me.” “Tasting things so you don’t have to.” “You can die a slow death, little woman, because the Bingo Woman is meee!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I taste the hornage."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R to L“If you can get a bite-sized piece of that into your stomach, I will respect you endlessly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 542: L “We’re gonna make your shorts sag by talking about things that can kill you that you didn’t know.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Icicles are deadly ice swords that impale people in public.” “That’s what the history of mankind is all about is: putting yourself out there, risking your life for a little grub. That’s is human existence, man. So somebody who gets killed by a vending machine is just carrying on the tradition of humans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-3751-3985-2258-8f6cd3d2bf12">GMMore: L “We don’t condone popping bottles in the club, by the way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 543: L “How do entertainers know when they have reached true celebrity status?” R “When they’ve had sensitive photos leaked.” L “No. When they have perfume or cologne made after them. I don’t know anything about leaky photos.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ladies and gentleman, I present to you our Rhett & Link official cologne, which also doubles as barbecue sauce because that’s what’s in here, I call this ‘Spray bQ’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I smell like a chicken nugget now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I had an idea one time to have a cologne, seriously, that didn’t make you smell like barbecue sauce but made you smell like you’d been cooking on a grill.” “Team up with Lil’ Wayne. I be grilling. Oh, grill. It comes with a free grill, I’m talking about in the mouth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Wear it anytime except when grilling because that’d be overkill.” “You can use it as as lighter fluid, too.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Man walking in smelling like hamburger. ‘Manburger.’” “‘Brisket Boy’ is for boys.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “For the ladies?” “‘Slab.’” “‘Slab’ for women, ‘Brisket’ for the boys, and ‘Manburger’ for the men.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 544: R “We need to undervalue IKEA furniture, we need to celebrate waffle day, and we need to have five week vacations. I think we’ve learned a lot here.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-b934-904f-b1396e60c6fc"><span>GMMore: R “It smells like the worst fart ever!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 545: R “'I wish I wish upon a star to fly with dragons in a land afar.' No, sorry that was wrong. 'I wish I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.’” "Softball coach Link." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Well, don't make a man cut his own cake!" L "What I can't do is cut cake and talk to them at the same time. I don't think you want me doing anything with a knife if I'm thinking about something else." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Now, if you had your skates on, we could do what we used to do in third grade where I would skate between your legs.” R "That was our classic move 'cause I was so big!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I know what the mouth is.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "And I've done something that I've never done before for you, Rhett. I have prepared something edible that wasn't coffee or cereal..." "Ladies and gentlemen," R "You made the pizza cake for me, Link?" L "here it is. I made you, along with the help of Lily, my daughter-" R "You are the best friend ever!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Jalapeño pepperoni?" R “Like I just took a step into heaven.” L "Happy Birthday, man. You deserve it." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “There needs to be a ‘pillsbury.com/rhettandlink.’” “French oven is when you fart under the covers but you’re naked. (laughs) I don't know why I would say that." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8129-bc97-bb40-ef440fdc5052">L “Dutch oven.” R “No, that’s when you fart under the covers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8129-bc97-bb40-ef440fdc5052">L “This is the first thing I’ve ever made!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 546: R “‘Bubble & Squeak.’ That’s what they called us in high school.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c52-cebe-0af4-d237e8323297"><span>GMMore: L “I thought ‘sorted’ meant ‘crazy.’ It’s like ‘let’s get sorted in this club! Let’s get crunk! Let’s get sorted!’” R “I don’t think that’s ever going to catch on. ‘Let’s arrange ourselves by height in the club!’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 547: L “Have the chills with us today though." "I can do something and so can you, people. Think of Gandalf and think of me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eb4174f0-cd0d-3080-7200-7088f02959df">R “Anytime you’re having a bad day, I gotta get a costume!” L “Rhett, can you be Gandalf for me, please?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "I'm not kidding you. I'm just like my dad. People don't think this about me, I know this, but if I were to sit and watch an Eagle Scout ceremony and it was led by a someone who is compelling, not only would I shudder, I would cry."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 548: L "Now, again, skittles, they're waiting to be spooned." "I'm not hungry for this." “Pete who? Who’s Pete?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Skittles. Waiting to be spooned. Would you volunteer?” "The rainbow is leaking." “Skittle milk! Forget Skittle cereal! Skittle milk! Call someone right now!” (re-quoting Link->) “Just let me get my corn on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 549: R “Don’t ask where the corn dog castle is! You should know it! I’m the janitor! I play the janitor! Do I look like I know where the corn dog castle is?” L “I’d rather get poked in the eye than get slapped by a cast member.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There’s nothing more frustrating than not getting an answer from somebody who’s supposed to know.” “I think that they should have a ride that’s just, ‘Step right up and watch Jeb grow a beard! And eyebrows!’ Yeah, it’s like, I would pay five tickets for that, and they don’t even use tickets!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 550: R “‘Holden B. Huffman.’ Top three names, ever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Anything that cleans is clean.’ That’s what Gregg told me.” R “Gregg was wrong.” L “Gregg also said, ‘everything I needed to know in life, I learned in Kindergarten.’” R “No, he said, ‘everything you need to know, you already know.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 551: L “Ain’t no chicken got time for that!” “What kind of dog wants to run at full speed in his backyard and keep hitting his own house?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know what happens in a chicken coop?” L “Learning!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m dark.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “So when you go to the bathroom, you’re getting into the zone.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-0b3d-e2e2-ddfe29acc04c"><span>L “You see, I know belts, man.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 552: L “I don’t usually know of a burger that’s really pickle-heavy.” "There's a lot of burger in the mouth. Where it came from, I know not." "Burger Master!" “Yo, Burger-mouth in the house.” "We're both equally stupid." "A little special happening on my left cheek.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “How can you think that you’re so smart about burgers and be so dumb about them?” “Burger-mouth has no teeth.” “I got a little of the special on my lip.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 553: L “I actually like to eat dog food with milk!’</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Anything goes in Tokyo. That’s why I want to go there.” “I’ve lost heart, guys.” “Hey, mom! It’s the ambulance, man. I found him!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Drop it like it’s an emergency!” “We call it the ‘Crap Factor.’” “Let’s make a bear together.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-812a-78ef-fb72-358d401a82b9">R “I’d rather deal with people’s feces than their attitude.” “The kids make out with the heart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 554: R “Do you feel emotions?” L “Occasionally. If I have to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I didn’t think you were human.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I am very in touch with my emotions.” “I’m a human feeler, dude.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Outrun the horse cops!” (put that on a t-shirt) “There are people who go into one movie and walk into another movie.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b453-b2ce-fe06-b4322ccb640f">L “Leave me out of this.” “There’s people in the room who don’t just give a crap about us, but you care. That’s what matters.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 555: L "Oh my no's. No, no, no." R "You're preemptively barfing?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "There's like a pig that got loose in the pumpkin patch and then we cut his feet off."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 556: R “Sometimes I just find myself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-6b1f-b55a-cc4f032c561d"><span>GMMore: L “You know what? We’re getting a phone call so we have to go.” R “Oh, really?” L “Yeah. You should go to the [Niagara] Falls and we’re gonna take this call.” R “That’s abrupt.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 557: L “I have enough perspective that my life’s good. Life is good. I don’t need to be peed on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-0ad9-4cad-8b70-290e6384c663">GMMore: R “I am really into haunted houses, but I will also say that I’ve hardly ever been to any, because, my experience, at least the people that I have decided to walk through this life together with, that being my wife and Link, are not into scary movies or haunted houses and so I don’t do either a lot.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 558: L “When your kid has a moustache like that, you’re just begging to turn him into ‘Prince.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-9fc4-4404-7731d57a76dd"><span>R “You got any tape? Tape dispensers? Give me everything! Give it to me! Gah, I want it so bad!” “Can’t get enough of it. This is like spaghetti!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 559: L “Now, don’t go with too much gusto or you’ll pop through, prematurely there” (R- put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both: R “If bread ever gets injured…” L “...don’t call us.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "When I die, I want to be o-lanterned." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Squeeze a potato until it cries.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0598-5975-d801-c7410f1eaa0d">L “Sulfur so good! I’m really full of that crap today.” R “Crap is a good word for it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 560: R “Give me that sweet face, Link!” “Hey, they call me ‘sweet face.’” “Well, I like grape mustard. They call me ‘sweet face’!” “You look like a futuristic space woman!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-de36-cc68-925035e15e30"><span>R “Hey, I got an idea now.” L “Hey, sweet face.” R “Just call me, ‘sweet face.’ Why do you call me that? ‘Cause my face is sweet! Taste it.” L “No, thank you.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 561: R “We are groot.” L “and then you grow roots?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You gotta sweat a little bit if you want that candy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0598-9ccb-3b71-db480044b89f">R “When I said ‘thank you’ to ‘Nartufoty,’ the lights flickered twice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 562: L “I’ve made farts that sound more human than this dog.” R “If you can fart, ‘I love you,’ I’ll give you one million dollars and I don’t even have that.” “Mythical beasts, we are very exciting to announce the launch of the all new Camo mythical shoe!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“My wife had a really big goozle, well, she was a man at one point, and she kept injuring me with it and then she removed the goozle and now she’s a woman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-ca76-6b79-d022-dee69b413945">GMMore: L “I only started wearing a hat when we started making a hat.” “When it comes to infidelity, I don’t want a parrot involved in any way." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 563: R “Do you say ‘what the heck’ a lot on your texts?” “What is wrong with you, Link? What is wrong with you? I don’t wanna hear anymore of your thoughts! You’re not super cute and funny anymore!” “Who floats in the morning?” “I’m a textpert!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading Rhett’s text) “Super cute and funny and cute and funny as hell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I get hungover again and again to get my nails done! Don’t you?” R “Well, no. I do something different.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I got a motorcycle.” R “I saw that.” L “Me and her have been riding on the motorcycle together.” R “I saw that.” L “Me in the front, her in the back.” R “I saw that! I tried to unsee it!” L “There’s some room for you in the sidecar.” R “Nope.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My baby girl is so cute when he is not an option.” L “You take what you can get.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 564: R “Those Swedish people love adoption. I’ve always said that!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...who pushes up their nose with the palm of their hand at all-” R “Barbara and Daphne do!” L “and then who, when they do that, calls it ‘squidging’?” R “Barbara and Daphne do, Link! Who squidges?” L “Squidge! Squidge!” R “That’s the new thing, man....” L “Sometimes when I push on the side...I’ll push on the side and my nose will pop.” R “What do you call that?” L “Squidging.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “This is so great that we’re sitting here talking about people that you have no idea who they are! It’s just evidence that we’ve known each other forever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When you go to a country music concert and you dip a little bit.” L “Right, and you turn green like an alien.” R “Yeah.” L “Ugh!” R “Here’s to those times.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 565: L “Lasers!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you can relate to this testimonial, call the number on the screen now. 1-800-TacoSafetyForever.” R “1-800-TacoSafetyForYouAndYourRelatives.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “My first day of work I didn’t show up because I broke my pelvis snowboarding two days earlier, and I had to call my boss and say, I’d never gone to work ever, and I was like, ’Uh, this is Link, I was supposed to come in on Monday but I broke my pelvis and I’m gonna be sitting on a weird pillow for the next two weeks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-18e7-8e42-f4b3bf19dbe5"><span>R “You think about everything, but you don’t think at all. That’s how I would describe starting your first job.” “You’re gonna fail, especially if you’re given something that you don’t know how to do. Just kind of embrace that and be willing to learn.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 566: L “I think it's pretty cool that people can make themselves burp. My eleven year old daughter is a master at it. I can't do it." "I can’t swallow air.” “I don’t know how to do it and I don’t want to be berated for it.” “This is the weirdest episode.” “I got some hair growing out of my ears like a grandpa.” "Ever since that Carolina Reaper, any spicy stuff makes me feel sick." “That should be the name of a song: ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Hiccup.” "My cheeks are starting to sweat. All four of 'em." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That was a hic-down. (laughs) Don’t laugh at your own jokes, Rhett!” "We cut your hair off and we're putting it in my ear, just so you know what's happening." "Maybe we proved some other kind of science today." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Do not drink ether, it will kill you.” “So that’s how comedy works. The longer it’s taken, the more you laugh at it. That explains a whole lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-711b-3905-e410-bee6e3d1faa0">L “What happens in The Vegus, stays in The Vegus.” (first L, then both)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 567: R “Rollerskating has been scientifically proven to be a great way to keep people sane when they’re underground.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m sincere. My world is freaking rocked right now. Yours is about to be.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Hunnel. Sounds like a pet name in a relationship I don’t wanna know anything about!” L “Hey, hunnel!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "You don't need water when you have a bike and friends" “With your help, we can bring back Clearly Canadian, our childhood drink that we couldn’t afford!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We are bringing Clearly Canadian back!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-5f0b-341a-adf356dc5525"><span>R “This is like bringing our childhood back, man!” L “It tastes so good, guys!” R “You need this!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 568: R “I ate a few gallons of Play-Doh in my day, and I’m still here.” “Now, I’m going to move on and make a pea weiner, I mean, um, I’m going to make a hot dog out of peas.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Let’s put the food where the mouths are.” “Your Pea-Doh weiner.” “It’s like a nice blonde woman’s hair if it were made out of dough.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 569: R “Whenever I hear that there is a movement going on, I am immediately interested and I begin to question whether or not I should be a part of this movement. And then, I’m like, if I’m gotta be part of this movement, you gotta be a part of this movement because we kinda move in parallel.” “Everything is always about poo poo.” “You gotta put the kids in one of those cabinets.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m more into pilates movement.” “You can take a shower on the toilet? I’ve been dreaming about this.” “I bet if you sleep over a warm bathtub, you stay moist all night.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The more I think about this tiny home movement, it really starts to create a movement within me.” “I peed in the pipe from inside of the hideout.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b458-91f0-7930-18351712adcc">R “You were a squatter in a treehouse.” “They’ve turned our A-frame into an actual home. Sad days.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 570: R (singing) “No one wants to eat the cabbage. Talk about green stuff, talk about health, you got to get it and nothing else. It’s cabbage, just cabbage, oh cabbage, just cabbage.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-711b-7767-6151-759735cd5b7e">GMMore: R “Break me off a piece of that nut roll.” “Nothing like a bottle of ‘Clearly Canadian’ on a hot North Carolina day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 571: R “Hey, it’s 2014. How long’s this show been around? It’s time for a new note and I’m bringing it to da house!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Blue Men in the house!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You look like a disoriented child!” L “Well, I know what it feels like to be born at my age.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My mouth is too small, but my heart is big and blue!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I go by ‘Charles’.” R “When you’re doing business?” … L “I feel like I get more respect from my mechanic if I go by ‘Charles’ and not by ‘Link.’ ‘Charles’ is my first name, if you don’t know. ‘Lincoln’ is my middle name.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “That’s how you talk to a mechanic, guys.” “I’ma pay him in marshmallows.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 572: L “He is bringing rivulets of water all the way up his body, all the way up to his face, into his mouth.” R “That’s how I drink!” “Everyone should drink that way!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Don’t cough in a hot tub with strangers. You are naked.” R “Unless one of them’s a doctor.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 573: L “I feel crazy! I just wanna be released from these goggles! I don’t care who wins! Aahh!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 574: L “Try to shake a taco.” “Soft tacos are wannabe burritos but you didn’t know how to roll!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...tacos and burritos, either one.” L “No deserving human should have to choose.” R “You offer me one, I’m gonna take one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Burritos teach you self-restraint.” “Variety is the spice of life...” “You really got a good taco if it takes you on a spirit journey.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-a563-3c0a-fb01eae3ba93"><span>R “And you can disagree with your friends without anybody’s feelings getting hurt. That’s another thing. Take that to school with you tomorrow.” Eddie “Put that in your tortilla and eat it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 575: R “I pledge allegiance to your chest and the nipples of each side of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 576: L “The hormones that this thing churned are immeasurable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I can smell the pheromones.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Who knew that the NSYNC anti-drugs totally match up with all of my hobbies, 100%.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 577: R “Are you afraid of my Pogono, baby?” L “ Don’t talk to baby like that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “There’s nothing better than having a woman vomit into your beard.” “Never hold a baby over a beard.” “A slick cat slides into the afterlife.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "No interaction I've ever had with a printer has been a positive one. I have never had a positive interaction with a printer."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 578: R “It's like eating an old sponge." "Bananas are not poisonous! Nothing’s tainted!” “That was my nickname in high school: Chili-puller.” "Yours makes a lot of sense. Mine looks like an accident." "It tastes like bathwater."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Wow, you are animated!" R "Whoa! That's the worst!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is going into the SeaLand, the ocean.” "So, we sent Alex to the local Home Depot to sweep the floor when nobody was looking." "Liver king, liver king, liver king."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I thought that was your tooth! I was so convinced! The sound that it made! Did you hear the pop?" R "Ugh! That's just a chunk of wood, y'all!" ... L "I'm not gonna lose a tooth over this. I have standards." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-ebf0-c831-975251239771"><span>GMM 579: L “...we think this is a fun thing...where we will be able to say, as mythical beasts, that we actually brought a product from our childhood back and maybe your childhood, too!” “Toast in unison across the globe? How crazy is that gonna be!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I want to hold that bottle in my hand and it will be like time travel for me to drink that thing...” “What’s in a Wonderball? A choking hazard!” “Chicken fries are back. This just in. Chicken fries are back at Burger King.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-4603-1383-2828-5f6b41a9a5ba"><span>R “I’ve done this, like, seven times in my life. Seen a commercial for something and gotten in the car to try to get it.” “I mean, when I become a grandpa, I’m gonna have something in the console. ‘Werther's Original,’ that’s what I’m gonna have.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 580: R “When you’re helping a damsel in distress, you say, ‘I’m Ham-Man, ma’am!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m a dark meat man, so I’ma do my dark meat plan.” “I’m Ham-Man.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 581: L “Now, the gag reflex is already kicking in, but I’m a really fight it cause I don’t wanna be known as that guy, anymore.” "Yeah, I'm the chicken Caesar!""Alright, let's open our mouths and pray to the bird gods." "I've never looked down there." "BTW, I'm your grandma." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is not a happy Thanksgiving." "It's like bird gum." "(to Link) You're like a bird genius!" "Could be an ostrich testicle. Do they have testicles?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Oh, I was wondering why you've been hanging around us. We haven't been paying you. It's like, 'he's just here cause Eddie's here,' is what I thought." "There was one time that we gave an employee cash for eating, and we felt like that was wrong." "The things that have been in my mouth." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Birds have internal testicles." </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 582: L “Maybe. Maybe I got fixated. Maybe I got fixed.” “You keep thinking out loud. That’s good for everybody.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Well… coffee is the blood of the coffee bean. And coffee is also the Venezuelan word for testicle.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 583: L “I live, therefore I fart.” (said he tweeted it). “I know what you’re laying down, baby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What’s your farting climate?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “We are sad, sad men.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 584: L “I sincere screamed for that one because I’ve always wanted to take a shower in the sky.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (saying to himself) “Wow, he’s going anti-bacterial on me. That’s very, a little disappointing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 585: R “If you’ve seen somebody in 2D, you see them in 3D, everything can change.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 586: L “Pancakes are for artists, waffles are for torturers of orphans.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 587: L "It's one thing to squeeze the melons, it's another thing to place the banana."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Is that some hermit crab doo-doo in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Smoke your gouda, it's so gouda for you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 588: L “This tastes like the periodic table excreted something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 589: L “I know I have a chewing problem.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you have actually misophonia, you should probably stop watching now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My mouth is not capable of volumes that yours is.” L “Volumes?” R “I cannot chew as loudly as you can.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’ve got compartments I don’t have!” “And that’s why every once in a while, women give birth to pigs, just like, every one in one hundred births is a pig child. The hospitals don’t tell you about that, they just send them to the barbecue restaurants. Let’s make a movie about that called ‘Pig Children.’” (crew member) “‘Baby Bacon.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 590: L “You could go with grace or you could go with blunt force.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I got a squirrel in my backyard that’s has mange on his tail.” L “Mr. Nuts is tip-top, man. Ain’t nothing wrong with Mr. Nuts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 591: R “The highlight, not of my life, but of my fourth grade year, Mrs. Everhart’s class, was the computer. We had a little Apple computer in the corner and the only thing we ever did on it the entire year was play ‘Oregon Trail.’” [”Everhart”: not sure of exact spelling, this is a common spelling.]</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I was just as smart as you in fourth grade!” R “He was, he was a smart kid, but for some reason, your mom thought you were stupid. She could have had her reasons. When kids are little, it’s hard to tell, you know?” L “No. No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Only shoot the animals you’re gonna eat if you can carry them to your frontier destination.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c55-36cf-528f-b245933d3a86"><span>R “You don’t like acapella at all. You have a thing against acapella music. You’ve made this very clear many times and I gotta say, I would never buy an album but I will enjoy an acapella concert just as much as the next guy because it’s in person.” “Just be cool, don’t say you’re cool. That’s rule number one about cool.” “I pity the fool that likes Pentatonix.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 592: L “Well, when you realize you don’t break a world record, that’s when you get blue.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 593: R “Hey, baby, I love your poop necklace.” “This was a Christmas miracle, Link, and you blew it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Why did they yell? They’re yelling at the board. The board’s not listening.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 594: R “That’s what they called me in high school: ‘Bearded Ken.’ I didn’t have a beard, though.” “I want Big Bertha!...I mean I want her to be real, I don’t want her.” “I’m just a woman with a pudding thong. I’m here to save the day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ve been on record saying that Batman’s my favorite superhero, but that’s not really sexy.” “...so I’m changing mine to ‘Plastic Man.’” “I love a good pudding.” “Dopeilfresh.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 595: L “Creative use of a nipple, I mean, I just gotta say.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Hey, you shouldn’t be looking at surf booties at work, man. Not safe for work!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “AwkwardFamilyMorphing.com.” “Bushy eyebrows are back in, ladies!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 596: L “My happiness quotient is through the roof.” “We recommend warming up your ‘Do-Nachos.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Love it. I love the donuts, George." L “Oh, the donut was so great. The black eggs on top were just exquisite.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Sometimes, you gotta push the meatball, in life.’” “I can’t take him anywhere! He walked up to the buffet and then he vomited.” “I stuck my finger in your donut.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Look at how much I'm shaking." R "It helps if you wiggle around."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You are our holiday gift.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you run a donut shop right now, I want you to add the pork rind maple syrup donut to your menu and then call it the ‘RhettandLinker.’ L “RhettandLoinker, like ‘oink.’” R “Yeah, work on the name, but credit us, please. RhettandLoinkster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON SEVEN</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 597: R "If you grew up at some point or are growing up-" L "then you're on the right track."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But Walt Disney is cryologically frozen!” L “Cryologically? Cryogenically frozen, just like Michael Jackson.” R “I made up a new word.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m putting in my video Will. Please cryogenically freeze me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is a new wheel because it’s a new season, y’all!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Do you know how I feel about things made from wood? I’m really into ‘em.” “You can’t throw a piece of wood around Costa Rica without hitting somebody selling wood.” “Welcome Becca!” “I want just a whole room full of wooden products.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c55-9651-ce50-b8f071542ecd"><span>L “I can’t tell ya how many times I’ve been shocked by a cereal bowl, a metal cereal bowl.” “Season seven off to a good start. Feeling good, feeling right, happy, goodness, positivity.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 598: R “Windia. Put that on a t-shirt.” “You can’t help but run over a cow pie. I’ve always said that, and I’m not even German.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ccaa-4b32-daba-b22de607eda3">L “‘Will It Camel Dong?’ That’s another episode.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 599: R “YEAH, DOCTOR!” “You look very constipated, very constipated. Please don’t slip one out.” “You show me a 6 and a half year old that can do 3 pull-ups.” “This is how old men run, Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m sure we look pathetic.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Wife in a can is not something you wanna look up on the internet.” “I am as flexible as I’ve ever been, as flexible as I was when I was, you know, a baby, and babies, you can bend them all around.” “After I apply it, I do it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-05d7-bc62-7042-13004007f722">L “Stevie is the keeper of the softball shorts.” “Blur the curl.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 600: R “I’m going to 6000, and then I’m dying.” L “Well fine, I’m going to 6001 and then I’m gonna retire, but I’m not gonna die.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Brian Williams, if you ever want to step foot in MY county..."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "You know what key it is, it's C!" "If you've been licking chinchillas, malic acid will have no affect on your tongue. It's been proven." "Oh, my flavors! That's a prank!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Everything’s bigger in Texas including bibs!” R “You know what? Everybody who comes to the Cheeseball brings a bib!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You might crazy up there in space, but you don't get that stupid. Do you?" "If an astronaut gets stupid enough to eat this in space, just cut the tether." (singing->) "I don't feel good and I'm gonna have to poop something orange big time later." “Oh, my goodness! I didn't expect it! That is so sour! Oh, my flavors!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 601: L “Look in the mirror, dude. Moustache issues.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Dave “A minute. Who needs a full minute?” L “We don’t do this for a living yet!” Charles “This has been a weird day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s on the verge of becoming Amish and there’s nothing wrong with that! Oh, it’s Jebediah!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “There’s gonna be fan fic about us and I’m not gonna read any of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “They got good coffee in that Nashville! Have you had the coffee?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 602: L “Hey, Enzo! Can you fax this document for me?” R “His ears perked when you said, ‘fax.’ Do you like to fax? You wanna get a fax machine? Do you think we should go into the dark ages and fax things?” L “He’s not a baby, he’s a dog, though. Hey, Enzo. I believe that you’re capable of faxing stuff.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “June, smell my glasses.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I know how to hold a newborn baby, but not a hairy dog.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 603: R “Hey, hey! You know what? I love watching that ‘Good Mythical Morning’ because I just sit there and embarrabask all about Link!” “Hey, man! Don’t be Webster on me!” “What you got, brother!” “Listen, junior! If you leave anymore residrink on our tables, I’m gonna make you sleep in the park!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I hope you’ve been taking notes, people, because your vernacular is now spectacular!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 604: R “You did that thing where you don’t listen to me.” (to Link->) “You’re a sugar genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Just call me Sugar Daddy. Sugarless Daddy.” (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/milliemanagtyde">Millie the Magical Mangatyde</a>) “Like opening a can of happiness. Pop the top on a can of happiness.” “It’s almost an insult at this point. Like, ‘What’s wrong with Sugar Daddy? He got no sugar left.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I was like, ‘if I could get Rosanna, the sweetest person on the internet to cold-cock me in the lower-, to give me an uppercut.” “It’d be like a bedtime story for my lower GI tract.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4ea0-fd33-66eb-4875d302a487">R “I would have paid to see that.” (about “Chocolate Starfish”->) “That’s too much information. I mean, you’ve nicknamed it? Really?” “Yeah, man. If you gonna cook that batter, you might as well just give me meat.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 605: L “Focus on the plan, not the exam.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0599-5bbd-28d0-59f8333f4896">GMMore: L “Put your parent’s money where your mouth is.” “Clear the air by muddying the waters.” (put that on a t-shirt)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 606: L “In the future, you will be able to open doors with your derriere.” “Everybody’s ears are different. I find myself looking at your ear a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-340c-67b4-816b-4c4f2c0c9a24">R “Yeah, yours are little and covered with hair, which makes yours unique like a snowflake.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 607: R “Dear aliens, I’m an actor.” “They’re not called ‘space jordans,’ they’re called ‘air jordans.’’ “When you get a star named you, that’s what happens...Your cremains will be shot into space by me personally by space cannon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Astronauts have their comfort.” “Orbital velocity of a toenail can just decapitate you. Fact.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 608: L “What’s with scientists and sleep?” “Scientists are sleepy people.” “I am in love with sleep. If I could do only one thing for the rest of my life, it’d probably be sleep.” “My wife, she’ll lay down and think, boy. I’ll roll over sometime and I can just see think fumes just coming off of her head.” “I just shut off all thoughts and get stupid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “...and Link, in particular, he’s good at a lot of things, he’s not so good at other things, but if there’s one thing that he is a champ at, it’s falling asleep and falling asleep quickly...” “It’s called ‘Blondor.’” “I’m a knight. I ride a two-headed dragon.” “I went to Blondor. I accomplished quite a bit, became king...”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ll play a little beat on the headboard with my fingers.” “Does me making a beat, does it disturb you? ‘Cause you haven’t mentioned it. Sends me right to dreamland.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What do you think, Rhett?” R “I don’t think. I don’t think anymore.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-21ec-d18e-2b2b-89e804c52666">R “He’s playing the headboard again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 609: R “Wood you like a log?” “Hey, I’m up here. Hello, I’m Rhettina. I’m a beautiful woman.” “Get a big pencil.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7432-daf8-3850-7e5407b89f37"><span>R “Oh, sorry. I’m not used to being a woman.” L “You knocked over the chair with your bosom?” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 610: L “I’m just trying to cover up for the fact that I’m addicted to Pinterest.” “There’s a lot of sweating that goes on when you wear a full duct tape outfit.” “I’ll put my feet in someone else’s back pockets.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You spend a lot of time with half a boyfriend, you get a whole boyfriend, you’re like, ‘whoo, this is good, this is good.’” “Shirts don’t need shoulders and we finally discovered it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We’ve never been great with the puppets, guys. Sorry about that.” “Your guy looks retired. My guy’s beautiful. I’m beautiful.” “So, I hear that there’s speculation that Becca is everything from my sister to daughter to... twin?” “I wonder if the puppet can babysit my kids.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c8-e306-208d-046617b32412">R “You can’t stop eating potato chips in general. It’s a fact.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 611: L “You know, my great great uncle died on the toilet. No, he was bit by a spider on the butt.” “Dude, getting your nails done is very relaxing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve used ice toilet paper before and it’s a lot better than you think.” “I love the idea of just hunkering down and spending a lot of time in the bathroom.” “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been driving down the road and I’ve complained about how I got one brewing.” “There’s one time when I’m not attracted to my wife. And I don’t want to look in her eye when that’s happening. And I definitely don’t want to be looking in her eye when I’m doing it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...I was just anxious to go to this shoot, and Rhett, you weren’t going to be there, so...You’re like my comedic security blanket…” “Jon Hamm starts beating me with a belt!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b459-13d0-db1d-7d2eef563e81">R “Record your dreams. It makes your life better.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 612: L “Thanks for coming out to the G, the M and the M!” “He needs to be committed.” “A little dainty goes a long way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Chunk.” R “We are still Chunk.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Lindsey “Our new plancing champion is Link, everybody!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Lindsey “It’s a German violin. Its name is ‘Excalibur.’’ “It’s about a hundred years old-” R “You’re kidding! Don’t let Link hold it. Listen, he’s ruined, he broke a guitar of mine in high school-” L “It should have a label on it that says ‘this is a hundred years old!’ Like, ‘Link, do not touch!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Rosin up your bow!” “You learn something new every hour with Lindsey Stirling!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What else do you know? With Lindsey Stirling.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 613: L “How many times have you thought, ‘this pie is too dry’?” R “Sometimes I think it’s too wet!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Search your hearts. There’s pie in there, cooling on the windowsill of your soul.” “Call me when cake gets a chart named after it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is there a pie anywhere in the world that can match this shirt?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Ice cream cake is my favorite cake.” “Cakes can be fun!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 614: L “This is pretty much a dream of mine. A huge bowl of cereal. Frosted Mini Wheats.” “I actually touched hair to my nose. That is gross. That is commitment.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s so conveniently eye level!” R "You're the first person that's ever told me that. 'Your armpits are so conveniently eye level!'"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R</span> <span>"When you're by yourself, who tells you that the pedestrians are there? Because it's always me when I'm driving with you."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It is a shot adrenaline.” “...it goes to my hands because my hands are where all the vehicle control is. I’ve noticed this many times.” “...all the energy in my body is transferred to my hands and I’m getting goosebumps thinking about it. I love it!” “I scared myself by holding up a throw that looked like a ghost.” “I never feel safe when wearing pants.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 615: L “and then for the next two hours, I cleaned every screen in the house.” R “I’m glad I wasn’t there! Sounds like a great time!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s in one of those moods. Cleaning screens again!” L “It feels so satisfying to have clean screens! You never knew how obstructed your vision of whatever was on the screen was until you’ve had the screen clean spree!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Wood you like a spoon?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 616: R “I like my name!” “I don’t think you can spoil a song. It’s, like, 3 minutes.” “In fact, our first girlfriend was named, ‘Leslie.’ Hey, Leslie, how ya doing? Hope you’re watching.” “I’ve never known a guy Leslie that I liked.” “‘Lufah’ is a DJ for children.” “Lufah in the house!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Making science true since 1984, or whenever we met." L “Making science true, one stupid statement at a time, I think is the t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Barbara’s’ are complicated. ...You can’t read a ‘Barbara.’” R “Really? I think ‘Barbara’s’ are the life of the party and they like to be called, ‘Barb’, for short. ‘Hey, Barb!’ And once you start calling ‘Barbara’, ‘Barb’, everything changes and they’re just always happy, they’re always happy to be there, they’re always happy to lend a hand!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-435a-acda-97dd-55267f9062bc"><span>GMMore: L “Think twice, three times a lady, before you name your child something.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 617: R “I’m a Taylor Swift fan. I got no shame.” “I like pain.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-f6f4-967b-a0c8-3452e2efe457">L “I love me some Arianda Grande.” (reading->) “‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase…’” R “Yeah, you do.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 618: L (singing->) “Are you feeling lethargic?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “All pea farmers grow their peas in lungs.” “The old eel in the eel trick.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (about trip to Costa Rica->)“...his name was Christian and he is the owner operator of Fox Cola. He makes Cola that is like, well I’m sure foxes would love it, but that’s just the name of it…” (about Dengue Fever->) “If you get a certain strain, if you get it twice, you die the second time. There’s like a 50% chance of dying the second time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-253d-50e1-db5f-2134209c9887">L “He makes cola for foxes.” “‘The Dengue Damper’ is what they call that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 619: R “Where’d you guys find a little dragon?” “I love wood. I know wood when I touch it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You keep punching me in the face, hand!” “I can’t smell letters. I cannot smell words.” “Are you smeeling what I’m smeeling? I smeel success!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Hey Link in the future, you look great in that billowy shirt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Okay, so what I’ve done the liberty of done doing here-” R “I think it’s ‘taken the liberty of doing,’ actually.” L “What I’ve did a liberty-” R “What I’ve done the liberty of doing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 620: L “Nothing says love like almost worn top of your ears.” “What woman doesn’t want to know that she’s loved by getting juice out the rear end of a dinosaur.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Baby, me plus you equals forever.” “Wind chimes are sexy. Put that on a t-shirt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “True north will always be in your heart, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-3b2b40ef-6a7a-b01a-1897-9ac1292fe4d4">R “Fastest way to a woman’s heart: wind chimes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 621: L “I’m sorry, there’s something in my eye. It’s love.” “I don’t wanna know how I’m gonna die, but I do wanna know when I’m gonna die, for just like, planning purposes. It would be nice to know.” “Well, I mean, it puts everything in perspective. Like, we should have that perspective anyway, but it kinda forces it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t meet people at the clinic.” “Body of a 90 year-old. You don’t want that. Trust me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?’” L “Ugh! No! Like, if I had a hunch, I would probably investigate it and tell people to make sure it won’t gonna happen!” R “I think I’m gonna die on this show! You know, we keep escalating the ridiculousness of the things that we’re eating,” L “Oh gosh, yeah.” R “and one of these days,...we’re gonna have a reaction and...that’s gonna be the last show! Show 6,001.” L “Well, if I had to choose, that’s a good way to go. I mean, documented, gonna get some views out of it. For you, I mean.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I don’t cry as much as I wish I would, um-” R “I can take care of that. Sounds like something my dad would say!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I don’t wanna believe in aliens.” R “Why?” L “It’s, they’re ugly. Circular argument.” R “I work with him. Every day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘If you knew in one year you would die suddenly, what would you change,’ would you change anything about the way that you are living and why?” L “I would embark on a yearlong search for my replacement.” “No, I’m talking about, of a father of my kids and a husband to my wife.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is just a little glimpse of how much of a control freak you are that you wanna control the rest of your wife's life in your absence!” “I went and said, I’m going to play poker at the Bellagio and I’m going to pay for our Cirque du Soleil, and I went and I did.” “What if the cloud burns?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We’re all gonna and one of us is gonna die before the other one and if it happens to be, like, in the next year, then I want her to be able to have a life and it not be defined solely by me being dead.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What kind of reality show would that be? That’s a good idea for a reality show, right?” Stevie “Widow peak…” L “Widow’s Peak!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Christy, my wife, she said, if I die first and, at a young age, or if I die young, I don’t want you to remarry at all, I want you to get a nanny, get a really ugly nanny for the kids.” “If she dies young, I’m to get a really ugly nanny to take care of my kids.” R “But when do you get to date again?” L “I don’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 622: L “Rhett, you don’t need an imaginary friend. I’m your real friend right here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t know you manage goats, properly, but when you do-.” L “Take ten percent off the top. Entertainment humor!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>More: R “I don’t remember all my great ideas like ‘what’s in the bag.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “People like to get things, it doesn’t matter what they are.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 623: R “When I smell my ten year-old’s hair from six feet away, he gets a shower…” “And you know what they say about navy! It cleans you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We should have a fire that’s always going on set.” L “A grooming fire!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-435b-9d62-90fa-9bf42d508366"><span>GMMore: L “Like, the first thing I thought of when we were gonna move into this studio space was, ‘I can get a urinal!’ and I don’t mean, like, beside my desk...” “Because my idea of ‘arriving’ is being able to pee in a urinal at my place of work or home. If one of these days, I get to build my own house, I’m gonna, there’s gonna be a place for a urinal in my own house.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 624: R "It's like gymnastics are happening in my mouth." “Mayonnaise was a mistake. That’s not the first time I’ve said that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve just witnessed the first time that I’ve eaten sushi with raw fish in it and not wretched.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 625: L “Over seven million views helps to take the awkwardness out of an intersection awkward exchange.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I smell my face in a way I’ve never smelled my face and I’ve got eel butt blood on my palm!” “My nose smells my face.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 626: L “Thank you for letting us into your brains, your minds, your thoughts, your ears, your eyes, your hearts, your soul on a daily basis.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 627: R "Ah, this is so hot. Am I the first time you've ever done this, for a girl?""What have you been eating?" </p>
<p>L "Come down for a landing in my arms, baby." "Yeah, you are the first time I've ever done this." "You, sorry" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ll show you a party trick! Burn an apple!” “It’s a Blackle,....Blapple.” “Chase, what’s your secret? Chinchilla-petting?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 628: L “But guys, put away the revenge. Come on, let’s channel positivity into polka dots on other things.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If I said it wrong by accident, it would be ‘sit pains’, which I can relate to sometimes.” “Whenever I say something funny, sometimes Rhett just says, ‘Wow, he finally said something funny. What a surprise.’” (joking->) “Matter of fact, this is it. Christy, you have a problem. You’re a tom peeper.” “And no one’s just a peeper.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-f6d4-556a-5d20-8a221b605c64">R “You got a peeping tom? She’s a peeping tom? I knew it.” “Once a peeper, always a peeper.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 629: R “Let it go and make it flow.” “You poor it, we’ll endure it.” “You can add to all your taglines: Never mistaken for pond water.” “You gush it, we’ll crush it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Alex, you’re a good pourer. I can just tell by listening.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You wet yourself!” R “That’s not my water, man. That’s my drinking buddy’s water!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “The tap water here in LA is notoriously bad, but back in North Carolina, my nanny, she had well water and it would taste-” R “Like a well.” L “like a well, but in a good way.” R “Like dirt.” L “In a good way.” R “Like it’s been surrounded by dirt.” L “In a good way.” R “In a good way.” L “In a good way.” “Her bottle said, ‘in a good way.’” Tastes like Granny’s well.” Both “In a good way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7433-89fa-702d-3de26f6f2394"><span>R “Don’t suck on the apparatus.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 630: R “Eat chicken and then stick the bones inside of the broccoli and give it to your children.” "You can talk like Link if you want, but I don't." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Like garden peas, no, those are the balls of, like, green monkey babies.”"Tossy, Tossy, Tossy!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Alexis got a voice-change operation.” “When our kids modify nerf guns, that’s just code for breaking them.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 631: R “What do you get if you cross and termite and a dinosaur?” L “What?” R “DYNOMITE!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Myrtle Beach is the fun capital of my dad. He has a beach house there.” “A dolphin is a fish.” “A snail and turtle? That would be real slow. Slowest animal ever!” “I’ve always said that a turtle is just a snake with a shell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Wow, Link, you should have been a zoologist!” L “I can be a animal mater! What are those called? A breeder.” “I’m gonna be a breeder of animals. It’s not gonna be creepy at all.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 632: R “At least you’re with the ones you love.” I could pee in my pants right now and you know what, I wouldn’t even be embarrassed cause I’m gonna be dead in a second.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Some of which are already dead, It’s weird, they’re there, it’s morbid.” “I’m gonna miss not being alive.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Have you watched ‘The Purge’?” R “Nope. I was home alone one time and I wanted to watch it, but I got scared.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I mean I would eat a LOT of cookie dough.” “I think the point is we need to be cultivating relationships with bodyguards.” “I can’t be trusted with a bowie knife.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-1590-0797-dc9a-ec297afe8d03">R “As soon as I find out the world is ending, I’m going to a yacht.” “That was the worst attempt at hurting me that anyone has ever done.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 633: R “Woo! I’m a high-heeled lumberjack!” (singing) “I’m alone in the woods and I sleep in a van.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Yeah, manly lumberjack, yeah!” (singing) “You’ve got to get out of bed, slip on the some heels and slap life in the face with an ax.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (to Jesse) “Baby, I’m sorry for every time I have ever complained about you complaining about your feet hurting because that is hellish, that is a hellish experience right there wearing those things.” “There’s so much cultural pressures for me to wear wooden sunglasses. This is a lumbersexual.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2377-b1d4-364c-5084c247b29e">L “It’s like man, when she’s wears them high heel shoes, it’s like a flashy fishing lure.” “It’s like putting a piece of, like, tin foil on the end of your line, man, and those bass just wanna gobble it up.” “Men are like bass and women are like fishing lines.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-19d4-484a-5a5deac9d64a"><span>GMM 634: R “You’re not gonna sell these socks, lady!” “I want that guy’s soul.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 635: R "But let me tell ya, it works without fail. It's how I got my wife." "After seeing this, I'm thinking about projecting my own face on the front of my house so I walk through my own mouth to enter it." "Okay, well I didn't know this was a date. I thought it was a beard stroking exercise." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You kept backing away from her slowly? I'm sure that's what she was hoping." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Who knew that when you said 'hot diggity dog' so much, your left eye would start watering just a little." "It's a bagel crown." "I do, Noah. It's sprat." "You're supposed to lubricate a machine with that." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Noah "Do you guys have any food allergies, like, is there anything you guys can't eat?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I've tried to discover if I do and so far, nothing's backfired." "They ate the sprat and drank the clak!" "That's the name of Chunk's next album: 'Eat the sprat and drink the clak.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 636: R “Saturday mornings cartoons are so yesterday. It’s all about Song Biscuits!” “Come on down to purple town.” “The king is tasting music. Do a little beatbox. It’s like popcorn.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 637: L “Thanks for the geography lesson.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Question. How hard is it to hunt a goat? I mean, really.” R “Have you ever killed a goat?” L “No, but they're just standing there.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Your voice sounds weird, Link. I’m gonna comment about it. What if it stays like this, guys? When are ya gonna stop commenting? I’m really self-conscious about my voice. This is how it is now, forever!” “It’s getting a little graphic around here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You wanna talk about me taking a bath more?” R “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hold on, I just said ‘rectally.’ So that was up the butt. I thought an enema was, was up the peehole.” R “Are you crazy?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-5165-d23b-d74b42c9164f"><span>L “I was like, rectally, why would you put a catheter in your butthole? Okay, um, hmm. Dot com!” R “Why would you put a catheter in your butthole dot com.” L “Don’t register that. Register any domain you want. I don’t recommend it being that one. Also, look out for killer whales in a dingy.” R “Look out for killer whales in a dingy dot com.” L “And look out for a nurse if you’re in a dingy.” R “Dot com.” L “‘cause she might have a ladder tube.” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 638: R “Oh, we had a nice bathroom. Big stalls, tall toilets. I’m a tall man.” “There’s nothing like a green woman.” “What color will she be next? (laughs) That sounds like something my dad would say.” “...I’m proud to also announce the first ever ‘Good Mythical Morning Book Club’!” “What womens have you dated, Wil Wheaton?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 639: L “I’m more human than you are. I’m more human than human.” “When I clench my buttox, my whole head just moves.” “I’ve spent years toning my face muscles and head muscles.” “All of my genetics were poured into my face. I don’t even have genetics in the rest of my body!” (singing->) “Your lips are movin’, but you’re not flarin’, flarin’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Your facial muscle control, Link, is staggering.” L “More human and human.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You could invent this for kids out there who can’t play traditional sports. You could start a campaign for facial sports.” L “I invented this one. This one’s called the ‘skinstache’. It’s a skin moustache.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, you could have been an athlete if this was a sport!” L “A facelete!” R “This is your arm! Could have been armlete!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “There’s like three or four different things working for you. You got a long tongue, you got a long neck, you got a short upper arm and you got wide shoulders-” L “And don’t forget the brains.” R “And you’re very smart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “My tongue smells funny.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 640: R “Listen, I gotta taste the spinning taco. This day can’t end.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I actually feel like I could smell a book right now!” R “Nah, that’s just me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Can you tell the Italians goo for me?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Here’s some tiramisu ----.” R “It says ‘cake’, Link.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-aabd-ca82-59bf6d41625e"><span>L “I thought I’d give it an alternate pronunciation.” “I always wondered what it would feel like for a turkey to scratch my back.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 641: L “I’ve never seen an astronaut eat a hot dog.” “Hot dogs on a menu is like putting a scratch-and-sniff sticker on a Mona Lisa.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s as if the hot dog was created for the human mouth. The hamburger, on the other hand, was created for some sort of large cartoon character with a big circular mouth.” “My mama used to make a hot dog sandwich for me to take to elementary school with me. White bread, ketchup, mustard, hot dog sliced in half so I wouldn’t choke on ‘em. And sure, by the time I opened it up at lunch, it was soggy and nasty, kids looked at me like I was funny, but you know what? Inside that hot dog sandwich was love. My mama loved me and she chose hot dogs.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c7-95aa-6dbf-3e9a0b504a69"><span>GMMore: R “When I look at that gelatinous stuff coming out of that pipe, I think to myself, ‘how do they make it taste so good? How do you make pig lips and cow tongue and bile taste so good?!’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 642: L “He’s so bored, he’s got to play with bubbles?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Mr. Rhett. What do you want? You want a cheeseburger to just come out of the door?” L “It cooks, too?” R “I’m sure it will!” L “It will not.” R “By 2035, it’ll do whatever you want it to do! It’ll discipline your children! You won’t have to do anything except just lean back!” L “Don’t make it pull over, kids! It’ll do it! I won’t even be doing anything!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “In 2035, we’ll all be leaning back and enjoying watching the Titanic as we drive around in our Mercedes.” L “That is poetic!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m coming back to ya, Lynda.” R “Lynda’s always there.” L “Hey, Lynda. I’m coming back to ya.” R “I like the name, Lynda, on a woman or a website.” L “Trying to just rekindle our old flame so I can learn some Logic X. Me, you and Logic X.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I can parallel park with the best of ‘em.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 643: R “Good Mythical top of the mornin’ to ya! Yes, I said that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Stonehenge is a big emoji. I do know that.” R “Yeah, you have to be in an airplane to see that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “This is an Irish song?” L “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7950-d0c8-3169-3a91e49d4143"><span>R “Should we stop this? ‘My sources say no.’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 644: R “Link, you’re better than this!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Grit lips. So good, that could be a lip balm. ‘Hey, man. You heard about ‘grit lips.’? They’re selling it at rhettandlink.com/store.’” L “That’s something I say to a woman I’m sweet on. ‘Hey, grit lips. Come over here and pucker up." R "A woman you're sweet on? Okay..." L "Like, you got some gritty lips, girl.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "It's so distinctive, Link. I almost said, 'Linktive.' So distinctive, Linktive. Can I call you Linktive?" L "Sure."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 645: L “No cat should be groomed, period.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7951-163f-f8ae-d2c739e922bb"><span>R (to June) “You’re the best dog in the United States.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 646: L “I have a theory, seriously, that the greatest actors are the most intelligent actors, like, I think it takes a lot of intelligence to embody someone else effectively.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “All geniuses watch ‘Sesame Street.’” “Smart people bounce, man. That’s why I’m gonna be starting to do it! Sign me up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “That’s how you become a genius. You gets lots of wedgies in grade school.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7969-3d35-4495-1d2ce2bf08b7"><span>R “...I have always thought that darkness of your eyebrows is an indication of your intelligence quotient.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 647: R “This is about me, man! This isn’t about them, this is about me winning a game!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Who would ever wanna watch people retch for entertainment?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I have an idea for a toaster that doesn’t scare you.” L “You’re scared of toasters?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s called The No Scare Toaster.” L “For people who are afraid of toasters. Your nightmares are over! That’s good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Morgan, what’s yours?” Morgan “Jeopardy, I guess.” L “So you’re retired, is what you’re saying?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What are the chances that dad knows anything on this game?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We should do a whole game show that’s just running out of a house, running out onto the patio when it’s got a sliding glass door ‘cause there’s nothing better than watching people run through a sliding glass door.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 648: L “This guy’s becoming more suspicious and more annoying the more I watch him.” “This dude can’t keep his mouth shut and his hands down.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Check out the cactus.” “These two guys, the ‘Good Mythical Morning’ hosts, definitely part of the Illuminati.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “He’s really interested in you seeing the cactus on his shirt?” R “Yeah.” L “What kind of guy does that?” R “That guy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is like the sweatshirt that you get when you join the Illuminati, okay!” L “Not to be worn in public, usually.” “He probably got a fine for wearing that on the internet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He said, ‘Illuminati’!” L “That was a mistake!” “They shouldn’t have let that guy in!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “That sweatshirt was hand-crafted for me to wear on this show on a regular basis at regular intervals of prime numbers, pay attention, by Mrs. Illuminati herself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c7-d650-39d5-c5d9e2897d4b"><span>L “Can I download something on ya here?” R “Download it, man.” L “I’ve been freaked out by the Freemasons for years!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 649: L "We thought, 'why not take an item that you always step on and get really upset and make an entire shoe out of it?' That's right, the ubiquitous building toy for children of all ages-" Both "LEGOs!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This isn’t the first time I’ve been in heels in an awkward situation.” “I feel like a horse in Cheese-land.” “Are your feet getting more literate?” “Foot butter straight from the foot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link, could you anoint my feel with oil?” (saying in an old man voice->) “It’s the year 2075 and I’ve got ball-shoes.” “That’s some good foot butter!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 650: L “We bout to cover his face and my body in questionable stuff.” “We’re so crazy, we’re burning three lights at once!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Give me that sweet face, Link.” “Well, I like grape mustard, they call me Sweet Face!” “You look like a futuristic space woman. Wanna go on a date?” <br class="kix-line-break"/>GMMore: L “I mean, let’s be honest. We don’t email people back.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-217c-6a7d-3f86eaa80caa">R “It’s Macaulay Culkin. He turned into a cookie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 651: R “They’ll really be onto something if when you dance hard enough, it raises the roof.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 652: R “Link, it’s a ‘Portable Beauty Lift High Nose Electric Nose Lifter Massage Remove Blackheads.’ I mean, it doesn’t get any better than this.” L “That’s a noseful.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Sometimes, I get my ipad and my iphone back from my kids, and I’m like, ‘Wh- Did you take snot from your nose and purposely apply it to this device?’ I can only imagine if they were in the pooper!” “Shepherd gets on my back and he says ‘let’s play, “Where’s Shepherd?”’, but he’s on my back. He’s six years old and he wants to play it all the time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c8-20a0-2ee1-927a1831e8a3"><span>L “I definitely fear that I’m gonna wipe my butt with my phone.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1ff-e9de-ed3b-060f856eb835"><span>GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More.’ It’s more of what we’ve been doing, but it’s a little different.” R “Oh! The More is?” L “I just mean, like, in general. ‘Oh! The More is!’” R “That’s what More is!” L “We do it every time, yeah.” R “More is, I-” L “It’s more of what we’ve been doing, but a little bit different.” R “You know what? I didn’t realize until last week that this was filmed.” L “And now, we’re not gonna get the real you anymore.” R “I’ve spent hundreds of episodes just thinking that we’re just shooting the breeze. I was like, Link’s a good friend. You know, he just wants to connect for, like, ten minutes after our show every day, and then I found out-.” L “Before we get up and get on with our lives.” R “you were doing it for the views and I’ve really just changed the whole way I feel about it!” L “If I was doing it for the views, I’d be eating more junk.” R “Can we do a More More? Can we do a Most?” Can we do a Good Mythical Most and that’s not filmed and it’s just me and you talking?” L “Yeah, man. It could just be our lives.” R “Our lives!” It can just be our lives!”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 653: L "If eyes are the window to the soul, then the face is the front of the house, and facial expressions are the paint on the house that constantly changes color to show you what the house is feeling."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think I’m gonna be pretty good at this because sometimes I just look at people’s faces and don’t look at any other parts of their body and I know what they’re doing.” L “Well, dates like that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7958-3236-b329-c32cabeca9dc"><span>R “I gotta look at people’s faces better!” L “Yep, you know. There’s an art to this.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You look like a sad apple at the state fair.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R</span> <span>"Don't say yes to the combo.” “I feel like I just aggressively ate a sundee.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 654: R “I kinda like smelling like cheese. I’ve wanted to work at a cheese factory.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d3e7-dde5-183e-7573d2645701">GMMore: L “Eddie got in a fight at Disneyland and they almost kicked him out. He’s really upset, and if you’re gonna talk to him, refer to him as ‘Bonnie Kathleen’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 655: L “When you’re really confident, you don’t even have to speak English.” “Confidence kinda sounds like air eeking out of a balloon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “As the food comes up, the anxiety comes down. That’s how I like to look at it.” R “I never percieve this in this way. From now on,“ L “You’ll look at it differently.” R “this is a revelation for me!” “I thought you were just throwing up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “George Washington Carver is one of my favorite males of all time!” “If people say, what superpower would you have if you could have a superpower…and I don’t say flying, I say, pointing at a postcard and being there. You might say, ‘what about teleportation, wouldn’t that be easier?’ No, I like to have to go to the store and get the postcards.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I can only smell through you, Jen.” “When in doubt, order now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-cacd-a9fd-ec9e8408477f"><span>R “ Linkella and Rhettella.” L “Anybody want to spread some Link on some wafer?” “Peanut butter and Link? On a spoon?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 656: R "I get to eat these peeps, 'cause they're just little ducks, or chicks made from marshmallows. They're not raw eggs."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7958-b4a2-08bf-af59c17500f5"><span>GMM 657: L “What’d you learn from us today?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We could be creating a meme, unknowingly.” "This is called a conversation. Join it!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-83f0-f6b9-89e70df6dc14"><span>L “Never have I been more happy to have been wrong about something!” “Eddie can make a Face Blanket, but he’s not barcode material.” "I'm gonna be a rapper! I'm gonna call myself ‘Ritz Cracker.’"</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 658: L "It's like human Drano." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "We don't even show up anymore. We're not even here. This is a program." "Don't give away our secrets, man." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-148a-2ef6-2495-36c50078bf12">L "...as we've shared many times, Rhett and Link, Rhett and I-" R "I'm Rhett, he's Link. Welcome to the show." L "I just spoke to myself in third person. I spoke of myself." R "Yeah, you can't speak to yourself in third person. That would be weird." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-148a-2ef6-2495-36c50078bf12">L "The words that come out of my face sometimes have nothing to do with anything that's happening in my brain."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 659: L “Peoples be suing other peeps for some totes ridics reasons!” “Vomiting’s fine, just don’t get up and run into a door frame!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Unrestricted merriment! That’s my life theme!” “I will say, we will never eat blended rat on this show. We have standards.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think he had a case here.” L “Really?” R “A case of bud light!” L “You didn’t do that on purpose. That’s why you’re laughing so hard. It just came out! You backed into that joke!” R “I walked right into that one and then rescued it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-4741-3184-f89f3368ec1c"><span>GMMore: R “Gotta have a kidney placeholder.” L “It’s like a prenup for your kidney.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 660: R “I call it ‘Le poulet de Eiffel tower avec Pac-Man.’” “...I am the king at creating meals from random stuff from the refrigerator...my favorite creation is what I call a ‘cracker cheese plate’ that I came up with as a middle schooler…” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Nava-nope!” "We just dough-minated!" (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Now, I can smell the Durian kinda coming through. I can smell a dead body in there.” “If you can get through a carrot, you can get through a human finger.” “Make it through the seven stages of gooey goodness.” “We have to have a really ridiculous analogy for everything we eat.” "We do, we do, we do."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-4e15-6b5c-c7cd-48d723ffbac7">L “I might get into cutting stuff now that we have this board. ‘You guys have anything you want me to slice?’ You know, I could get into that.” "This has got a peanut lead but then the backgr-, then the follow-up is sawdust. It's like something that would be in the bottom of a snake cage, including the snake poop." "Thanks for mailing us stuff, guys. We appreciate everything." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 661: R “Dolk is my favorite graffiti artist! I’m gonna commit a crime so I can go and experience Dolk on a daily basis!” “Oh, Dolk. You and your irony!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I want some ice cream in the shower. I’m just living a prison dream, I’m just thinking.” L “No one will see you eating ice cream in the shower ‘cause it’s so private.” R “Nobody. Just me and my ice cream.” L “And your soap. Don’t eat the soap thinking it’s the ice cream.” R “Keep the soap apart from the ice cream.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I’m not going to kill Link.” L “It’s impossible anyway. You couldn’t kill me if you tried.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “From now on, all facts will be given in unison.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 662: R “...I’d like to have a guitar made with strings made from my skin, my guts and then you learn how to play the guitar, awesome classical guitar, and you go on a career classical guitar playing.” L “I’m not gonna do that ‘cause I have to grow out my fingernails”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Put some of my ashes in a Pringle can, too.” “My gut’s are gonna be for the guitar, I’m going in a Pringles can and put me in a book that you’re writing.” “And make meals for me everyday just in case I come back. What are you doing if you die?” L “I’m just gonna go in a cardboard box.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If I die first, you have got to put me on display right here and keep doing the show without me. You can’t get a new host!” “And if you die first-” L “Do that to me!” R “We’re shaking on it.” L “Let’s just air shake.” “We’re air shaking on this one. It’s kinda like pinky promising with an index finger.” R “Just trying to leave a legacy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R</span> <span>"</span><span>She dated Frank Sinatra</span> <span>and Elvis Presley. I’ve heard of both of those guys. And dating both of them is a pretty big deal. I would date both of them!” L “Right, me too.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “People do strange stuff. Have we not established that on this show yet?” L “We’ve established that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 663: L “You should just feel stupid for not listening to yourself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “One of the best movies of all time, one of my favorite movies, lots of people have seen it. If you haven’t seen The Princess Bride, you need to watch it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac95-eb4c-9b6d-8c0b9c11d620"><span>GMMore: L “I’m smarter than you. Just live with it.” “I’ve been wrong so much by accident that I’m not going to put it past myself.” </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 664: R “Put your arms in, Neal!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I could poke your eye out with my nipples right now.” “This goes out to all the mythical beasts out there. All of you out there in mythical beast land, don’t try this!” “Hey, look! There’s a Sprite down in here!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Why are we holding hands?” L “Cause I need you right now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-adfb-5f8e-f49e-63970219cd73">(Unedited version, added: R “I feel like I could sand something with my goosebumps. Like I can sand wood with my goosebumps right now.”)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Alex, can you help zip this thing up here?” R “You want somebody to zip your little sleeping bag?” L “You know what, I can do that. I’m a big boy. Help me anyway.” R “Says adult man in sleeping bag sitting at desk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We need a hot tub in this building. Can we get a hot tub installed? Can somebody put a hot tub on set? There should be a hot tub on this set. We should do the whole show from a hot tub.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ae09-2e55-5246-1e51cda34565">L “The gifs. Can’t wait for that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 665: R "We are happy to announce that we have finally and officially moved into our new building!" L "New studio, new offices, it's nice!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Alright, Henry. Everything's fine, buddy." R "Everything's going to be just fine." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Don't seal your hand in with Henry. He doesn't like that. He doesn't want that." "Going to squishy town, Henry." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Henry has never fit so many places and you can still cuddle him. He's not quite as forgiving though." L "But you know what? I don't think he'll ever forgive us. Look at how happy he looks, though!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 666: R “You know there’s over four thousand species of flora on this planet, and if you’ve ever seen the M-night Shamalamadingdong movie, ‘The Happening,’ you know that you should be scared of all of them! Spoiler alert!” “Stinging bush! Actually scary!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “They put your heart to sleep. It’s like slowly falling out of love with life and dying.” “I touched some eyeballs and my heart stopped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Don’t wanna mix breaths.” “What are you using Carmex for? You have herpes? Finally? Joining the ranks of mouth herpes.” “I would hate me if I ran into me here.” (->put that on a t-shirt, sorta) “I wanna change my hairstyle, I just fear the comments.” “Let’s shave our heads like we did that Easter break in college…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "One of the things I’ve noticed and one of the things that people have pointed out to me is that I have uh, probably for every time that you adjust your glasses, I lick my own lips." L “Is there a correlation?" R “No.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c9-525e-6139-833654874cc9">“I would hate me if I ran into me at an airport. I don’t like men who spend this much time on their hair.” “I’m sorry to all women that I’ve ever judged about you had saying that there was something up with your hair because of the humidity. I had so much trouble with my hair on the East Coast and I felt like such an idiot.” “I almost went back to the buzzcut while in North Carolina.” “I identify with women everywhere.”</span></p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 523-668tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-04-21:2452419:BlogPost:21498282016-04-21T00:30:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Apr 20 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 183-370</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 371-522</a>, …</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Apr 20 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 183-370</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 371-522</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 669-816</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 817-969</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 970-1051</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-1052-current" target="_blank">GMM 1052-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 523: L “Good Mythical Morning to you all!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Did you love ‘Saved by the Bell’? Did you watch it every week, religiously? I did.” “Swoop swoop on the doop doop.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You take Keith Urban’s hair and put it on a soccer mom and it fits.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9654-b112-8647-a015c188189b">R “Hashtag Urban soccer.” L “I gotta wash my crotch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 524: R “I say to the future, ‘Welcome future, I’m glad to be a part of you and I look forward to riding this wave right into the future, future.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “When your pants are smarter than me, there’s a problem.” R “That’s when you know you’ve arrived.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“I don’t want my fork to make me feel guilty for eating, though.” “I’ll be repositioning this crotch material, why don’t you like and comment on this video!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More’ which I’m going to do shirtless from now on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-3e2b-4774-1ab1-8c21bff66eef">R “You know what this is? It’s like a clown’s brain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 525: R “Here’s to you, Vanilla Ice!” “‘What’s that in your hand?’ ‘It’s my hedgehog, baby.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-b769-03c8-48ef-5d6b90a52534">L “Snickledong.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 526: R “Contrary to popular belief, a narcissist is not a cyst that is narci.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A narcissist is defined as the response that a person in the deep south gives when asked ‘is that a mole?’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...we inflate the image of ‘Rhett & Link’ as a brand, but we don’t take it personally. Like, we speak of ‘Rhett & Link’ as if it’s a thing and it kinda puts it on something so it’s not just, like, ‘I’m building you up today’ and vice versa.” “There’s a reason why we interview people before we hire them. Because we don’t hire narcissists.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-6818-224a-f4db-62e6496ce100">R “Yeah, we don’t have, like, a session where we build each other up. Maybe we should.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 527: L “Who knew that the best way to communicate with millions of people was through a cookie?” “Put your print where your mouth is!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We’re on a donkey kick.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Oh, I’m charming? I didn’t know.” L “Modesty is enhancing your charm.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What are the chances that I don’t have a future, guys?” L “The days of your future have passed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9655-3ab2-0373-33e4a5c0107b">R “This is what the game is, ‘does Rhett have a future?’!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 528: R “...Sometimes you just don’t expect something to be double-awesome!” “It was the peak of my existence. I don’t think it gets any better than that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Mariachi band and a bounce house, there was no actual bouncing, but it was still very much something I will remember the rest of my life.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There are feathers in bubble gum. I don’t know if you knew that.” “Little Link, she called me.” “I feel so good about myself for once. I usually feel okay about myself. It’s not a pity party. I just feel great about myself.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c8-8992-bd47-c91b4fe2f4a9">R “You are great at blowing bubbles, but sometimes you tell me things like this and it makes me think, ‘Link needs to be in therapy.’” “We’ll call this ‘Good Mythical More: Men chew gum.’” (to L->)“You’re like a master! You should have your own YouTube channel. ‘Bubble Man.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 529: L “Whenever I go to the disco, I expect lots of poutine!” “See? I’m culturally sensitive. Join me as in my world tour!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4e8-f3b2-c047-db5d008be31b"><span>R “You’re right, Link! You’re the official ambassador to Cheesistan!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 530: R “You find something that you’re passionate about and you find something that you’re talented at, and if they’re the same thing, bingo, that’s what your YouTube channel should be about.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s the stupidest rationale for cologne I ever heard. You wanna smell like a burnt cigar?” R “No, like a Cuban man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I like lentils. I have a weak spot. I predict that I am going to love some Boondi. I might name my fourth child ‘Boondi.’” “You’re feeding yourself as if you were a horse.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 531: L “When I’m in a grocery store and I’m going down the aisle and then, all of a sudden, it’s like, I feel something. I turn around and there’s somebody staring at me, some old man grabbing the Fruit Loops. Like, why is that dude grabbing the Fruit Loops staring at me?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s staring at me. I felt it and my hair stood up, man!” L “Your hair’s always standing up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Rhett? You there?” R “Yeah.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Now say ‘hot for teacher.’” R “Hot for Ms. Locklear!” L “Shsssshshss. Something wrong with my camera. It just shsssshss’d.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Well this would be a good show. Welcome to ‘Good Mythical Morning!’” “If you can’t see the camera, the camera can’t see you.” “We’re proving science again!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 532: R “I might have punch this guy if he did this to me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Would you pay to see this? I’d pay for it to stop! I mean this as a compliment. I could see you doing this.” L “What, ‘cause I’m not afraid to go up to people with creepy baby dolls and [they] crawl on their head?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4e9-581c-5e45-ecb5cb3f3a24"><span>R “Drink the coconut juice. Lick it off of the ground.” L “Bow down and worship my high-waisted sweatpants.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 533: L “Step right up, get yourself your deep-fried lemon! Available only at Crispy Town! Get yourself a iced cold tea with a piping hot fried lemon wedge!" "Fried lemon pie at Crispy Town." "We got some dancing wheat grass over here at Crispy Town!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "We both kissed it! We both independently kissed it!" R "Part of the sales pitch!" L "Every lemon wedge personally kissed by the Fry Daddies."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "It's the only thing at Crispee Towne that's not crispy, is the toothpaste." "You hear about Crispee Towne this year? They got deep fried toothpaste, they keep your hygiene up, man." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Ugh-a! Hot!" L "Your IQ was checked at the door when beginning this exercise, which is appropriate." "A lot of food establishments focus on food, not at Crispee Towne."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 534: L “I wasn’t thinking about spitting on the president.” “All I’m trying to say is how close I was to the president, if I popped a ‘p,’ some of my DNA might would have hit the president.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “But, no one’s allowed to take pictures out the window into the Rose Garden.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I took a picture of George Washington's’ china because, think about that, he’s the first president!” L “I know, but what are you gonna do with that picture?” R “Show it now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 535: R “I’ve been meaning to tell you that I thought that we should die on the same day, just to see if we can work that out.” L “Well, you’re going five hours earlier. Is that the deal?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If we weren’t doing this, what we’re saying is that we may not be friends anymore.” R “Right.” (laughs) L “Well, I don’t know if that’s true. We certainly have a stronger friendship because we’re working on this together.” R “No, we would still be friends.” “We’d have shared hobbies.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Your mind works in interesting ways.” “I wish there was an easier way to say ‘spoiler alert’!” “Two guys, one guitar.” “We should go to a fair together!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Two guys who are in business together should wear matching hats, A, and this makes me think we should have a side business like Crispee Towne!” L “So, this is the start of the Crispee Towne uniform. It starts with a duct tape hat!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I just made a weird noise with my chair and it sounded like a fart.” L “Hey, this is our show. We can fart it up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Read the letter, my bro! Can I start calling you ‘my bro’ like, that’s what Pewdiepie does?” R “Please don’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s my new life motto: Be an Oprah. Be an Oprah or make friends with an Oprah.” “You want to be Gale. You want the benefits.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 536: L “Don’t pee on a battery. I don’t know if anything will happen, but don’t try it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ceab-00cb-ca22-ac15a615e12e">R “Urine poured inside of a shoe can be used to start a fight.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 537: L “Today, we channel the happiness. Working title for the show if we ever change it: ‘Channel the happiness.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I currently collect, it’s not too big of a collection, but Hawkman memorabilia.” L “I mean, I collect Merle Haggard records. Feel free to mail those to me, in any condition!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-31ad-2f3e-d5eda9db52f8"><span>L “So your poop represents your possessions and the act of pooping represents a loss of control.” R “Yeah, so all those little movie tickets are just your little turds-” L “I don’t still have them, by the way” R “Oh! You let your turds go!” “So my Hawkman collection up on my little shelf up there is just turds.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 538: R “I hate the world. I hate that we exist” “I can take magma that turns into lava, & I can swallow it, 'cause I'M NOT A CHUMP!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Take your glove off, stupid.” “Every breath out is like time travel into a stupid, stupid place.” “You can be anybooodddyyy” “I’ve got a, right here, a cauldron of torture.” “I feel like my right nipple’s gonna spout fire. My left nipple, fine. Right nipple, fire.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 539: L “On yesterday’s episode, we both consumed the hottest pepper in the world and thanks for your concern. I wanted to just give an update and say that I don’t think I will ever fully recover from what happened.” R “Well, I can personally attest to the fact that eleven hours after Link and I consumed the pepper, I was up and about, I was up and at ‘em. Link was in the fetal position on a loveseat.” L “With like, clammy sweat, pale skin, promising to myself, and to God, that I would never do that again.” R “If they make a hotter pepper, I’m gonna eat it!” L “We’re okay. Thanks for your concern.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I did get my haircut. Thanks for noticing.” “What kind of world do we live in where Harry Potter can’t get a dinosaur for more than a few months but Snooki’s got one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, you are the dinosaur king.” “Linksterasaurus Nealadactyl.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 540: R “...we had a good friend named Gregg who would get some premium stuff and one time, he got some premium Edy’s ice cream and we had the communal Walmart ice cream and we just got really excited one day. We ate half of his Edy’s ice cream, then we looked at each other and we were like, ‘we gots to fix this.’ We took the Walmart ice cream and we put it into the Edy’s ice cream and we smoothed it over the top. Now, the difference is, the Walmart ice cream was really yellow and the Edy’s ice cream is really white so when he opened it up, he was like, ‘you punks ate my ice cream!’ and he threw a soccer ball at us.” L “That was an amazing day…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-6fc5-e6e9-6b7a4351570a"><span>R “Top trash will take care of it.” L, Both “Put that on a t-shirt!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 541: L “I like sausage in general, but something tells me that I'm not gonna like these sausages.""It tastes... like it’s hanging down there. You can’t copy me, No. I took a stand, you can’t copy me.” “Tasting things so you don’t have to.” “You can die a slow death, little woman, because the Bingo Woman is meee!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I taste the hornage."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R to L“If you can get a bite-sized piece of that into your stomach, I will respect you endlessly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 542: L “We’re gonna make your shorts sag by talking about things that can kill you that you didn’t know.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Icicles are deadly ice swords that impale people in public.” “That’s what the history of mankind is all about is: putting yourself out there, risking your life for a little grub. That’s is human existence, man. So somebody who gets killed by a vending machine is just carrying on the tradition of humans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-3751-3985-2258-8f6cd3d2bf12">GMMore: L “We don’t condone popping bottles in the club, by the way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 543: L “How do entertainers know when they have reached true celebrity status?” R “When they’ve had sensitive photos leaked.” L “No. When they have perfume or cologne made after them. I don’t know anything about leaky photos.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ladies and gentleman, I present to you our Rhett & Link official cologne, which also doubles as barbecue sauce because that’s what’s in here, I call this ‘Spray bQ’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I smell like a chicken nugget now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I had an idea one time to have a cologne, seriously, that didn’t make you smell like barbecue sauce but made you smell like you’d been cooking on a grill.” “Team up with Lil’ Wayne. I be grilling. Oh, grill. It comes with a free grill, I’m talking about in the mouth.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Wear it anytime except when grilling because that’d be overkill.” “You can use it as as lighter fluid, too.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Man walking in smelling like hamburger. ‘Manburger.’” “‘Brisket Boy’ is for boys.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “For the ladies?” “‘Slab.’” “‘Slab’ for women, ‘Brisket’ for the boys, and ‘Manburger’ for the men.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 544: R “We need to undervalue IKEA furniture, we need to celebrate waffle day, and we need to have five week vacations. I think we’ve learned a lot here.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-b4ea-b934-904f-b1396e60c6fc"><span>GMMore: R “It smells like the worst fart ever!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 545: R “'I wish I wish upon a star to fly with dragons in a land afar.' No, sorry that was wrong. 'I wish I wish with all my heart to fly with dragons in a land apart.’” "Softball coach Link." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Well, don't make a man cut his own cake!" L "What I can't do is cut cake and talk to them at the same time. I don't think you want me doing anything with a knife if I'm thinking about something else." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Now, if you had your skates on, we could do what we used to do in third grade where I would skate between your legs.” R "That was our classic move 'cause I was so big!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I know what the mouth is.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "And I've done something that I've never done before for you, Rhett. I have prepared something edible that wasn't coffee or cereal..." "Ladies and gentlemen," R "You made the pizza cake for me, Link?" L "here it is. I made you, along with the help of Lily, my daughter-" R "You are the best friend ever!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Jalapeño pepperoni?" R “Like I just took a step into heaven.” L "Happy Birthday, man. You deserve it." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “There needs to be a ‘pillsbury.com/rhettandlink.’” “French oven is when you fart under the covers but you’re naked. (laughs) I don't know why I would say that." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8129-bc97-bb40-ef440fdc5052">L “Dutch oven.” R “No, that’s when you fart under the covers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8129-bc97-bb40-ef440fdc5052">L “This is the first thing I’ve ever made!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 546: R “‘Bubble & Squeak.’ That’s what they called us in high school.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c52-cebe-0af4-d237e8323297"><span>GMMore: L “I thought ‘sorted’ meant ‘crazy.’ It’s like ‘let’s get sorted in this club! Let’s get crunk! Let’s get sorted!’” R “I don’t think that’s ever going to catch on. ‘Let’s arrange ourselves by height in the club!’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 547: L “Have the chills with us today though." "I can do something and so can you, people. Think of Gandalf and think of me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eb4174f0-cd0d-3080-7200-7088f02959df">R “Anytime you’re having a bad day, I gotta get a costume!” L “Rhett, can you be Gandalf for me, please?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "I'm not kidding you. I'm just like my dad. People don't think this about me, I know this, but if I were to sit and watch an Eagle Scout ceremony and it was led by a someone who is compelling, not only would I shudder, I would cry."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 548: L "Now, again, skittles, they're waiting to be spooned." "I'm not hungry for this." “Pete who? Who’s Pete?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Skittles. Waiting to be spooned. Would you volunteer?” "The rainbow is leaking." “Skittle milk! Forget Skittle cereal! Skittle milk! Call someone right now!” (re-quoting Link->) “Just let me get my corn on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 549: R “Don’t ask where the corn dog castle is! You should know it! I’m the janitor! I play the janitor! Do I look like I know where the corn dog castle is?” L “I’d rather get poked in the eye than get slapped by a cast member.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There’s nothing more frustrating than not getting an answer from somebody who’s supposed to know.” “I think that they should have a ride that’s just, ‘Step right up and watch Jeb grow a beard! And eyebrows!’ Yeah, it’s like, I would pay five tickets for that, and they don’t even use tickets!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 550: R “‘Holden B. Huffman.’ Top three names, ever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Anything that cleans is clean.’ That’s what Gregg told me.” R “Gregg was wrong.” L “Gregg also said, ‘everything I needed to know in life, I learned in Kindergarten.’” R “No, he said, ‘everything you need to know, you already know.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 551: L “Ain’t no chicken got time for that!” “What kind of dog wants to run at full speed in his backyard and keep hitting his own house?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know what happens in a chicken coop?” L “Learning!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m dark.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “So when you go to the bathroom, you’re getting into the zone.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-0b3d-e2e2-ddfe29acc04c"><span>L “You see, I know belts, man.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 552: L “I don’t usually know of a burger that’s really pickle-heavy.” "There's a lot of burger in the mouth. Where it came from, I know not." "Burger Master!" “Yo, Burger-mouth in the house.” "We're both equally stupid." "A little special happening on my left cheek.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “How can you think that you’re so smart about burgers and be so dumb about them?” “Burger-mouth has no teeth.” “I got a little of the special on my lip.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 553: L “I actually like to eat dog food with milk!’</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Anything goes in Tokyo. That’s why I want to go there.” “I’ve lost heart, guys.” “Hey, mom! It’s the ambulance, man. I found him!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Drop it like it’s an emergency!” “We call it the ‘Crap Factor.’” “Let’s make a bear together.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-812a-78ef-fb72-358d401a82b9">R “I’d rather deal with people’s feces than their attitude.” “The kids make out with the heart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 554: R “Do you feel emotions?” L “Occasionally. If I have to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I didn’t think you were human.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I am very in touch with my emotions.” “I’m a human feeler, dude.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Outrun the horse cops!” (put that on a t-shirt) “There are people who go into one movie and walk into another movie.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b453-b2ce-fe06-b4322ccb640f">L “Leave me out of this.” “There’s people in the room who don’t just give a crap about us, but you care. That’s what matters.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 555: L "Oh my no's. No, no, no." R "You're preemptively barfing?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "There's like a pig that got loose in the pumpkin patch and then we cut his feet off."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 556: R “Sometimes I just find myself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-6b1f-b55a-cc4f032c561d"><span>GMMore: L “You know what? We’re getting a phone call so we have to go.” R “Oh, really?” L “Yeah. You should go to the [Niagara] Falls and we’re gonna take this call.” R “That’s abrupt.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 557: L “I have enough perspective that my life’s good. Life is good. I don’t need to be peed on.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-0ad9-4cad-8b70-290e6384c663">GMMore: R “I am really into haunted houses, but I will also say that I’ve hardly ever been to any, because, my experience, at least the people that I have decided to walk through this life together with, that being my wife and Link, are not into scary movies or haunted houses and so I don’t do either a lot.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 558: L “When your kid has a moustache like that, you’re just begging to turn him into ‘Prince.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-9fc4-4404-7731d57a76dd"><span>R “You got any tape? Tape dispensers? Give me everything! Give it to me! Gah, I want it so bad!” “Can’t get enough of it. This is like spaghetti!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 559: L “Now, don’t go with too much gusto or you’ll pop through, prematurely there” (R- put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both: R “If bread ever gets injured…” L “...don’t call us.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "When I die, I want to be o-lanterned." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Squeeze a potato until it cries.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0598-5975-d801-c7410f1eaa0d">L “Sulfur so good! I’m really full of that crap today.” R “Crap is a good word for it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 560: R “Give me that sweet face, Link!” “Hey, they call me ‘sweet face.’” “Well, I like grape mustard. They call me ‘sweet face’!” “You look like a futuristic space woman!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c53-de36-cc68-925035e15e30"><span>R “Hey, I got an idea now.” L “Hey, sweet face.” R “Just call me, ‘sweet face.’ Why do you call me that? ‘Cause my face is sweet! Taste it.” L “No, thank you.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 561: R “We are groot.” L “and then you grow roots?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You gotta sweat a little bit if you want that candy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0598-9ccb-3b71-db480044b89f">R “When I said ‘thank you’ to ‘Nartufoty,’ the lights flickered twice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 562: L “I’ve made farts that sound more human than this dog.” R “If you can fart, ‘I love you,’ I’ll give you one million dollars and I don’t even have that.” “Mythical beasts, we are very exciting to announce the launch of the all new Camo mythical shoe!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">“My wife had a really big goozle, well, she was a man at one point, and she kept injuring me with it and then she removed the goozle and now she’s a woman.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-ca76-6b79-d022-dee69b413945">GMMore: L “I only started wearing a hat when we started making a hat.” “When it comes to infidelity, I don’t want a parrot involved in any way." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 563: R “Do you say ‘what the heck’ a lot on your texts?” “What is wrong with you, Link? What is wrong with you? I don’t wanna hear anymore of your thoughts! You’re not super cute and funny anymore!” “Who floats in the morning?” “I’m a textpert!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (reading Rhett’s text) “Super cute and funny and cute and funny as hell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I get hungover again and again to get my nails done! Don’t you?” R “Well, no. I do something different.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I got a motorcycle.” R “I saw that.” L “Me and her have been riding on the motorcycle together.” R “I saw that.” L “Me in the front, her in the back.” R “I saw that! I tried to unsee it!” L “There’s some room for you in the sidecar.” R “Nope.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My baby girl is so cute when he is not an option.” L “You take what you can get.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 564: R “Those Swedish people love adoption. I’ve always said that!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...who pushes up their nose with the palm of their hand at all-” R “Barbara and Daphne do!” L “and then who, when they do that, calls it ‘squidging’?” R “Barbara and Daphne do, Link! Who squidges?” L “Squidge! Squidge!” R “That’s the new thing, man....” L “Sometimes when I push on the side...I’ll push on the side and my nose will pop.” R “What do you call that?” L “Squidging.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “This is so great that we’re sitting here talking about people that you have no idea who they are! It’s just evidence that we’ve known each other forever!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When you go to a country music concert and you dip a little bit.” L “Right, and you turn green like an alien.” R “Yeah.” L “Ugh!” R “Here’s to those times.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 565: L “Lasers!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you can relate to this testimonial, call the number on the screen now. 1-800-TacoSafetyForever.” R “1-800-TacoSafetyForYouAndYourRelatives.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “My first day of work I didn’t show up because I broke my pelvis snowboarding two days earlier, and I had to call my boss and say, I’d never gone to work ever, and I was like, ’Uh, this is Link, I was supposed to come in on Monday but I broke my pelvis and I’m gonna be sitting on a weird pillow for the next two weeks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-18e7-8e42-f4b3bf19dbe5"><span>R “You think about everything, but you don’t think at all. That’s how I would describe starting your first job.” “You’re gonna fail, especially if you’re given something that you don’t know how to do. Just kind of embrace that and be willing to learn.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 566: L “I think it's pretty cool that people can make themselves burp. My eleven year old daughter is a master at it. I can't do it." "I can’t swallow air.” “I don’t know how to do it and I don’t want to be berated for it.” “This is the weirdest episode.” “I got some hair growing out of my ears like a grandpa.” "Ever since that Carolina Reaper, any spicy stuff makes me feel sick." “That should be the name of a song: ‘Dancing on the Edge of a Hiccup.” "My cheeks are starting to sweat. All four of 'em." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “That was a hic-down. (laughs) Don’t laugh at your own jokes, Rhett!” "We cut your hair off and we're putting it in my ear, just so you know what's happening." "Maybe we proved some other kind of science today." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Do not drink ether, it will kill you.” “So that’s how comedy works. The longer it’s taken, the more you laugh at it. That explains a whole lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-711b-3905-e410-bee6e3d1faa0">L “What happens in The Vegus, stays in The Vegus.” (first L, then both)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 567: R “Rollerskating has been scientifically proven to be a great way to keep people sane when they’re underground.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m sincere. My world is freaking rocked right now. Yours is about to be.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Hunnel. Sounds like a pet name in a relationship I don’t wanna know anything about!” L “Hey, hunnel!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "You don't need water when you have a bike and friends" “With your help, we can bring back Clearly Canadian, our childhood drink that we couldn’t afford!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We are bringing Clearly Canadian back!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-5f0b-341a-adf356dc5525"><span>R “This is like bringing our childhood back, man!” L “It tastes so good, guys!” R “You need this!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 568: R “I ate a few gallons of Play-Doh in my day, and I’m still here.” “Now, I’m going to move on and make a pea weiner, I mean, um, I’m going to make a hot dog out of peas.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Let’s put the food where the mouths are.” “Your Pea-Doh weiner.” “It’s like a nice blonde woman’s hair if it were made out of dough.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 569: R “Whenever I hear that there is a movement going on, I am immediately interested and I begin to question whether or not I should be a part of this movement. And then, I’m like, if I’m gotta be part of this movement, you gotta be a part of this movement because we kinda move in parallel.” “Everything is always about poo poo.” “You gotta put the kids in one of those cabinets.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m more into pilates movement.” “You can take a shower on the toilet? I’ve been dreaming about this.” “I bet if you sleep over a warm bathtub, you stay moist all night.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “The more I think about this tiny home movement, it really starts to create a movement within me.” “I peed in the pipe from inside of the hideout.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b458-91f0-7930-18351712adcc">R “You were a squatter in a treehouse.” “They’ve turned our A-frame into an actual home. Sad days.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 570: R (singing) “No one wants to eat the cabbage. Talk about green stuff, talk about health, you got to get it and nothing else. It’s cabbage, just cabbage, oh cabbage, just cabbage.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-711b-7767-6151-759735cd5b7e">GMMore: R “Break me off a piece of that nut roll.” “Nothing like a bottle of ‘Clearly Canadian’ on a hot North Carolina day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 571: R “Hey, it’s 2014. How long’s this show been around? It’s time for a new note and I’m bringing it to da house!” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Blue Men in the house!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You look like a disoriented child!” L “Well, I know what it feels like to be born at my age.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My mouth is too small, but my heart is big and blue!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I go by ‘Charles’.” R “When you’re doing business?” … L “I feel like I get more respect from my mechanic if I go by ‘Charles’ and not by ‘Link.’ ‘Charles’ is my first name, if you don’t know. ‘Lincoln’ is my middle name.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “That’s how you talk to a mechanic, guys.” “I’ma pay him in marshmallows.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 572: L “He is bringing rivulets of water all the way up his body, all the way up to his face, into his mouth.” R “That’s how I drink!” “Everyone should drink that way!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Don’t cough in a hot tub with strangers. You are naked.” R “Unless one of them’s a doctor.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 573: L “I feel crazy! I just wanna be released from these goggles! I don’t care who wins! Aahh!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 574: L “Try to shake a taco.” “Soft tacos are wannabe burritos but you didn’t know how to roll!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...tacos and burritos, either one.” L “No deserving human should have to choose.” R “You offer me one, I’m gonna take one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Burritos teach you self-restraint.” “Variety is the spice of life...” “You really got a good taco if it takes you on a spirit journey.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-a563-3c0a-fb01eae3ba93"><span>R “And you can disagree with your friends without anybody’s feelings getting hurt. That’s another thing. Take that to school with you tomorrow.” Eddie “Put that in your tortilla and eat it.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 575: R “I pledge allegiance to your chest and the nipples of each side of it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 576: L “The hormones that this thing churned are immeasurable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I can smell the pheromones.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Who knew that the NSYNC anti-drugs totally match up with all of my hobbies, 100%.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 577: R “Are you afraid of my Pogono, baby?” L “ Don’t talk to baby like that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “There’s nothing better than having a woman vomit into your beard.” “Never hold a baby over a beard.” “A slick cat slides into the afterlife.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "No interaction I've ever had with a printer has been a positive one. I have never had a positive interaction with a printer."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 578: R “It's like eating an old sponge." "Bananas are not poisonous! Nothing’s tainted!” “That was my nickname in high school: Chili-puller.” "Yours makes a lot of sense. Mine looks like an accident." "It tastes like bathwater."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Wow, you are animated!" R "Whoa! That's the worst!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is going into the SeaLand, the ocean.” "So, we sent Alex to the local Home Depot to sweep the floor when nobody was looking." "Liver king, liver king, liver king."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I thought that was your tooth! I was so convinced! The sound that it made! Did you hear the pop?" R "Ugh! That's just a chunk of wood, y'all!" ... L "I'm not gonna lose a tooth over this. I have standards." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c54-ebf0-c831-975251239771"><span>GMM 579: L “...we think this is a fun thing...where we will be able to say, as mythical beasts, that we actually brought a product from our childhood back and maybe your childhood, too!” “Toast in unison across the globe? How crazy is that gonna be!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I want to hold that bottle in my hand and it will be like time travel for me to drink that thing...” “What’s in a Wonderball? A choking hazard!” “Chicken fries are back. This just in. Chicken fries are back at Burger King.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-4603-1383-2828-5f6b41a9a5ba"><span>R “I’ve done this, like, seven times in my life. Seen a commercial for something and gotten in the car to try to get it.” “I mean, when I become a grandpa, I’m gonna have something in the console. ‘Werther's Original,’ that’s what I’m gonna have.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 580: R “When you’re helping a damsel in distress, you say, ‘I’m Ham-Man, ma’am!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m a dark meat man, so I’ma do my dark meat plan.” “I’m Ham-Man.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 581: L “Now, the gag reflex is already kicking in, but I’m a really fight it cause I don’t wanna be known as that guy, anymore.” "Yeah, I'm the chicken Caesar!""Alright, let's open our mouths and pray to the bird gods." "I've never looked down there." "BTW, I'm your grandma." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is not a happy Thanksgiving." "It's like bird gum." "(to Link) You're like a bird genius!" "Could be an ostrich testicle. Do they have testicles?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Oh, I was wondering why you've been hanging around us. We haven't been paying you. It's like, 'he's just here cause Eddie's here,' is what I thought." "There was one time that we gave an employee cash for eating, and we felt like that was wrong." "The things that have been in my mouth." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Birds have internal testicles." </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 582: L “Maybe. Maybe I got fixated. Maybe I got fixed.” “You keep thinking out loud. That’s good for everybody.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Well… coffee is the blood of the coffee bean. And coffee is also the Venezuelan word for testicle.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 583: L “I live, therefore I fart.” (said he tweeted it). “I know what you’re laying down, baby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “What’s your farting climate?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore L “We are sad, sad men.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 584: L “I sincere screamed for that one because I’ve always wanted to take a shower in the sky.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (saying to himself) “Wow, he’s going anti-bacterial on me. That’s very, a little disappointing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 585: R “If you’ve seen somebody in 2D, you see them in 3D, everything can change.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 586: L “Pancakes are for artists, waffles are for torturers of orphans.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 587: L "It's one thing to squeeze the melons, it's another thing to place the banana."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Is that some hermit crab doo-doo in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Smoke your gouda, it's so gouda for you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 588: L “This tastes like the periodic table excreted something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 589: L “I know I have a chewing problem.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you have actually misophonia, you should probably stop watching now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “My mouth is not capable of volumes that yours is.” L “Volumes?” R “I cannot chew as loudly as you can.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’ve got compartments I don’t have!” “And that’s why every once in a while, women give birth to pigs, just like, every one in one hundred births is a pig child. The hospitals don’t tell you about that, they just send them to the barbecue restaurants. Let’s make a movie about that called ‘Pig Children.’” (crew member) “‘Baby Bacon.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 590: L “You could go with grace or you could go with blunt force.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I got a squirrel in my backyard that’s has mange on his tail.” L “Mr. Nuts is tip-top, man. Ain’t nothing wrong with Mr. Nuts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 591: R “The highlight, not of my life, but of my fourth grade year, Mrs. Everhart’s class, was the computer. We had a little Apple computer in the corner and the only thing we ever did on it the entire year was play ‘Oregon Trail.’” [”Everhart”: not sure of exact spelling, this is a common spelling.]</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I was just as smart as you in fourth grade!” R “He was, he was a smart kid, but for some reason, your mom thought you were stupid. She could have had her reasons. When kids are little, it’s hard to tell, you know?” L “No. No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Only shoot the animals you’re gonna eat if you can carry them to your frontier destination.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c55-36cf-528f-b245933d3a86"><span>R “You don’t like acapella at all. You have a thing against acapella music. You’ve made this very clear many times and I gotta say, I would never buy an album but I will enjoy an acapella concert just as much as the next guy because it’s in person.” “Just be cool, don’t say you’re cool. That’s rule number one about cool.” “I pity the fool that likes Pentatonix.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 592: L “Well, when you realize you don’t break a world record, that’s when you get blue.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 593: R “Hey, baby, I love your poop necklace.” “This was a Christmas miracle, Link, and you blew it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Why did they yell? They’re yelling at the board. The board’s not listening.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 594: R “That’s what they called me in high school: ‘Bearded Ken.’ I didn’t have a beard, though.” “I want Big Bertha!...I mean I want her to be real, I don’t want her.” “I’m just a woman with a pudding thong. I’m here to save the day.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ve been on record saying that Batman’s my favorite superhero, but that’s not really sexy.” “...so I’m changing mine to ‘Plastic Man.’” “I love a good pudding.” “Dopeilfresh.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 595: L “Creative use of a nipple, I mean, I just gotta say.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Hey, you shouldn’t be looking at surf booties at work, man. Not safe for work!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “AwkwardFamilyMorphing.com.” “Bushy eyebrows are back in, ladies!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 596: L “My happiness quotient is through the roof.” “We recommend warming up your ‘Do-Nachos.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Love it. I love the donuts, George." L “Oh, the donut was so great. The black eggs on top were just exquisite.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Sometimes, you gotta push the meatball, in life.’” “I can’t take him anywhere! He walked up to the buffet and then he vomited.” “I stuck my finger in your donut.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Look at how much I'm shaking." R "It helps if you wiggle around."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You are our holiday gift.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you run a donut shop right now, I want you to add the pork rind maple syrup donut to your menu and then call it the ‘RhettandLinker.’ L “RhettandLoinker, like ‘oink.’” R “Yeah, work on the name, but credit us, please. RhettandLoinkster.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON SEVEN</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 597: R "If you grew up at some point or are growing up-" L "then you're on the right track."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “But Walt Disney is cryologically frozen!” L “Cryologically? Cryogenically frozen, just like Michael Jackson.” R “I made up a new word.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m putting in my video Will. Please cryogenically freeze me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This is a new wheel because it’s a new season, y’all!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Do you know how I feel about things made from wood? I’m really into ‘em.” “You can’t throw a piece of wood around Costa Rica without hitting somebody selling wood.” “Welcome Becca!” “I want just a whole room full of wooden products.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-0c55-9651-ce50-b8f071542ecd"><span>L “I can’t tell ya how many times I’ve been shocked by a cereal bowl, a metal cereal bowl.” “Season seven off to a good start. Feeling good, feeling right, happy, goodness, positivity.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 598: R “Windia. Put that on a t-shirt.” “You can’t help but run over a cow pie. I’ve always said that, and I’m not even German.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ccaa-4b32-daba-b22de607eda3">L “‘Will It Camel Dong?’ That’s another episode.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 599: R “YEAH, DOCTOR!” “You look very constipated, very constipated. Please don’t slip one out.” “You show me a 6 and a half year old that can do 3 pull-ups.” “This is how old men run, Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m sure we look pathetic.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Wife in a can is not something you wanna look up on the internet.” “I am as flexible as I’ve ever been, as flexible as I was when I was, you know, a baby, and babies, you can bend them all around.” “After I apply it, I do it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-05d7-bc62-7042-13004007f722">L “Stevie is the keeper of the softball shorts.” “Blur the curl.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 600: R “I’m going to 6000, and then I’m dying.” L “Well fine, I’m going to 6001 and then I’m gonna retire, but I’m not gonna die.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Brian Williams, if you ever want to step foot in MY county..."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "You know what key it is, it's C!" "If you've been licking chinchillas, malic acid will have no affect on your tongue. It's been proven." "Oh, my flavors! That's a prank!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Everything’s bigger in Texas including bibs!” R “You know what? Everybody who comes to the Cheeseball brings a bib!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You might crazy up there in space, but you don't get that stupid. Do you?" "If an astronaut gets stupid enough to eat this in space, just cut the tether." (singing->) "I don't feel good and I'm gonna have to poop something orange big time later." “Oh, my goodness! I didn't expect it! That is so sour! Oh, my flavors!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 601: L “Look in the mirror, dude. Moustache issues.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Dave “A minute. Who needs a full minute?” L “We don’t do this for a living yet!” Charles “This has been a weird day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s on the verge of becoming Amish and there’s nothing wrong with that! Oh, it’s Jebediah!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “There’s gonna be fan fic about us and I’m not gonna read any of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “They got good coffee in that Nashville! Have you had the coffee?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 602: L “Hey, Enzo! Can you fax this document for me?” R “His ears perked when you said, ‘fax.’ Do you like to fax? You wanna get a fax machine? Do you think we should go into the dark ages and fax things?” L “He’s not a baby, he’s a dog, though. Hey, Enzo. I believe that you’re capable of faxing stuff.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “June, smell my glasses.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I know how to hold a newborn baby, but not a hairy dog.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 603: R “Hey, hey! You know what? I love watching that ‘Good Mythical Morning’ because I just sit there and embarrabask all about Link!” “Hey, man! Don’t be Webster on me!” “What you got, brother!” “Listen, junior! If you leave anymore residrink on our tables, I’m gonna make you sleep in the park!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I hope you’ve been taking notes, people, because your vernacular is now spectacular!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 604: R “You did that thing where you don’t listen to me.” (to Link->) “You’re a sugar genius!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Just call me Sugar Daddy. Sugarless Daddy.” (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/milliemanagtyde">Millie the Magical Mangatyde</a>) “Like opening a can of happiness. Pop the top on a can of happiness.” “It’s almost an insult at this point. Like, ‘What’s wrong with Sugar Daddy? He got no sugar left.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I was like, ‘if I could get Rosanna, the sweetest person on the internet to cold-cock me in the lower-, to give me an uppercut.” “It’d be like a bedtime story for my lower GI tract.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4ea0-fd33-66eb-4875d302a487">R “I would have paid to see that.” (about “Chocolate Starfish”->) “That’s too much information. I mean, you’ve nicknamed it? Really?” “Yeah, man. If you gonna cook that batter, you might as well just give me meat.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 605: L “Focus on the plan, not the exam.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0599-5bbd-28d0-59f8333f4896">GMMore: L “Put your parent’s money where your mouth is.” “Clear the air by muddying the waters.” (put that on a t-shirt)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 606: L “In the future, you will be able to open doors with your derriere.” “Everybody’s ears are different. I find myself looking at your ear a lot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-340c-67b4-816b-4c4f2c0c9a24">R “Yeah, yours are little and covered with hair, which makes yours unique like a snowflake.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 607: R “Dear aliens, I’m an actor.” “They’re not called ‘space jordans,’ they’re called ‘air jordans.’’ “When you get a star named you, that’s what happens...Your cremains will be shot into space by me personally by space cannon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Astronauts have their comfort.” “Orbital velocity of a toenail can just decapitate you. Fact.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 608: L “What’s with scientists and sleep?” “Scientists are sleepy people.” “I am in love with sleep. If I could do only one thing for the rest of my life, it’d probably be sleep.” “My wife, she’ll lay down and think, boy. I’ll roll over sometime and I can just see think fumes just coming off of her head.” “I just shut off all thoughts and get stupid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “...and Link, in particular, he’s good at a lot of things, he’s not so good at other things, but if there’s one thing that he is a champ at, it’s falling asleep and falling asleep quickly...” “It’s called ‘Blondor.’” “I’m a knight. I ride a two-headed dragon.” “I went to Blondor. I accomplished quite a bit, became king...”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ll play a little beat on the headboard with my fingers.” “Does me making a beat, does it disturb you? ‘Cause you haven’t mentioned it. Sends me right to dreamland.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “What do you think, Rhett?” R “I don’t think. I don’t think anymore.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-21ec-d18e-2b2b-89e804c52666">R “He’s playing the headboard again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 609: R “Wood you like a log?” “Hey, I’m up here. Hello, I’m Rhettina. I’m a beautiful woman.” “Get a big pencil.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7432-daf8-3850-7e5407b89f37"><span>R “Oh, sorry. I’m not used to being a woman.” L “You knocked over the chair with your bosom?” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 610: L “I’m just trying to cover up for the fact that I’m addicted to Pinterest.” “There’s a lot of sweating that goes on when you wear a full duct tape outfit.” “I’ll put my feet in someone else’s back pockets.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You spend a lot of time with half a boyfriend, you get a whole boyfriend, you’re like, ‘whoo, this is good, this is good.’” “Shirts don’t need shoulders and we finally discovered it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We’ve never been great with the puppets, guys. Sorry about that.” “Your guy looks retired. My guy’s beautiful. I’m beautiful.” “So, I hear that there’s speculation that Becca is everything from my sister to daughter to... twin?” “I wonder if the puppet can babysit my kids.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c8-e306-208d-046617b32412">R “You can’t stop eating potato chips in general. It’s a fact.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 611: L “You know, my great great uncle died on the toilet. No, he was bit by a spider on the butt.” “Dude, getting your nails done is very relaxing.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve used ice toilet paper before and it’s a lot better than you think.” “I love the idea of just hunkering down and spending a lot of time in the bathroom.” “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been driving down the road and I’ve complained about how I got one brewing.” “There’s one time when I’m not attracted to my wife. And I don’t want to look in her eye when that’s happening. And I definitely don’t want to be looking in her eye when I’m doing it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “...I was just anxious to go to this shoot, and Rhett, you weren’t going to be there, so...You’re like my comedic security blanket…” “Jon Hamm starts beating me with a belt!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-b459-13d0-db1d-7d2eef563e81">R “Record your dreams. It makes your life better.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 612: L “Thanks for coming out to the G, the M and the M!” “He needs to be committed.” “A little dainty goes a long way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Chunk.” R “We are still Chunk.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Lindsey “Our new plancing champion is Link, everybody!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Lindsey “It’s a German violin. Its name is ‘Excalibur.’’ “It’s about a hundred years old-” R “You’re kidding! Don’t let Link hold it. Listen, he’s ruined, he broke a guitar of mine in high school-” L “It should have a label on it that says ‘this is a hundred years old!’ Like, ‘Link, do not touch!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Rosin up your bow!” “You learn something new every hour with Lindsey Stirling!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What else do you know? With Lindsey Stirling.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 613: L “How many times have you thought, ‘this pie is too dry’?” R “Sometimes I think it’s too wet!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Search your hearts. There’s pie in there, cooling on the windowsill of your soul.” “Call me when cake gets a chart named after it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is there a pie anywhere in the world that can match this shirt?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Ice cream cake is my favorite cake.” “Cakes can be fun!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 614: L “This is pretty much a dream of mine. A huge bowl of cereal. Frosted Mini Wheats.” “I actually touched hair to my nose. That is gross. That is commitment.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s so conveniently eye level!” R "You're the first person that's ever told me that. 'Your armpits are so conveniently eye level!'"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R</span> <span>"When you're by yourself, who tells you that the pedestrians are there? Because it's always me when I'm driving with you."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It is a shot adrenaline.” “...it goes to my hands because my hands are where all the vehicle control is. I’ve noticed this many times.” “...all the energy in my body is transferred to my hands and I’m getting goosebumps thinking about it. I love it!” “I scared myself by holding up a throw that looked like a ghost.” “I never feel safe when wearing pants.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 615: L “and then for the next two hours, I cleaned every screen in the house.” R “I’m glad I wasn’t there! Sounds like a great time!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He’s in one of those moods. Cleaning screens again!” L “It feels so satisfying to have clean screens! You never knew how obstructed your vision of whatever was on the screen was until you’ve had the screen clean spree!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Wood you like a spoon?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 616: R “I like my name!” “I don’t think you can spoil a song. It’s, like, 3 minutes.” “In fact, our first girlfriend was named, ‘Leslie.’ Hey, Leslie, how ya doing? Hope you’re watching.” “I’ve never known a guy Leslie that I liked.” “‘Lufah’ is a DJ for children.” “Lufah in the house!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Making science true since 1984, or whenever we met." L “Making science true, one stupid statement at a time, I think is the t-shirt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Barbara’s’ are complicated. ...You can’t read a ‘Barbara.’” R “Really? I think ‘Barbara’s’ are the life of the party and they like to be called, ‘Barb’, for short. ‘Hey, Barb!’ And once you start calling ‘Barbara’, ‘Barb’, everything changes and they’re just always happy, they’re always happy to be there, they’re always happy to lend a hand!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-435a-acda-97dd-55267f9062bc"><span>GMMore: L “Think twice, three times a lady, before you name your child something.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 617: R “I’m a Taylor Swift fan. I got no shame.” “I like pain.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-f6f4-967b-a0c8-3452e2efe457">L “I love me some Arianda Grande.” (reading->) “‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase…’” R “Yeah, you do.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 618: L (singing->) “Are you feeling lethargic?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “All pea farmers grow their peas in lungs.” “The old eel in the eel trick.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (about trip to Costa Rica->)“...his name was Christian and he is the owner operator of Fox Cola. He makes Cola that is like, well I’m sure foxes would love it, but that’s just the name of it…” (about Dengue Fever->) “If you get a certain strain, if you get it twice, you die the second time. There’s like a 50% chance of dying the second time.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-253d-50e1-db5f-2134209c9887">L “He makes cola for foxes.” “‘The Dengue Damper’ is what they call that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 619: R “Where’d you guys find a little dragon?” “I love wood. I know wood when I touch it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You keep punching me in the face, hand!” “I can’t smell letters. I cannot smell words.” “Are you smeeling what I’m smeeling? I smeel success!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Hey Link in the future, you look great in that billowy shirt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Okay, so what I’ve done the liberty of done doing here-” R “I think it’s ‘taken the liberty of doing,’ actually.” L “What I’ve did a liberty-” R “What I’ve done the liberty of doing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 620: L “Nothing says love like almost worn top of your ears.” “What woman doesn’t want to know that she’s loved by getting juice out the rear end of a dinosaur.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Baby, me plus you equals forever.” “Wind chimes are sexy. Put that on a t-shirt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “True north will always be in your heart, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-3b2b40ef-6a7a-b01a-1897-9ac1292fe4d4">R “Fastest way to a woman’s heart: wind chimes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 621: L “I’m sorry, there’s something in my eye. It’s love.” “I don’t wanna know how I’m gonna die, but I do wanna know when I’m gonna die, for just like, planning purposes. It would be nice to know.” “Well, I mean, it puts everything in perspective. Like, we should have that perspective anyway, but it kinda forces it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t meet people at the clinic.” “Body of a 90 year-old. You don’t want that. Trust me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?’” L “Ugh! No! Like, if I had a hunch, I would probably investigate it and tell people to make sure it won’t gonna happen!” R “I think I’m gonna die on this show! You know, we keep escalating the ridiculousness of the things that we’re eating,” L “Oh gosh, yeah.” R “and one of these days,...we’re gonna have a reaction and...that’s gonna be the last show! Show 6,001.” L “Well, if I had to choose, that’s a good way to go. I mean, documented, gonna get some views out of it. For you, I mean.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I don’t cry as much as I wish I would, um-” R “I can take care of that. Sounds like something my dad would say!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I don’t wanna believe in aliens.” R “Why?” L “It’s, they’re ugly. Circular argument.” R “I work with him. Every day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘If you knew in one year you would die suddenly, what would you change,’ would you change anything about the way that you are living and why?” L “I would embark on a yearlong search for my replacement.” “No, I’m talking about, of a father of my kids and a husband to my wife.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is just a little glimpse of how much of a control freak you are that you wanna control the rest of your wife's life in your absence!” “I went and said, I’m going to play poker at the Bellagio and I’m going to pay for our Cirque du Soleil, and I went and I did.” “What if the cloud burns?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We’re all gonna and one of us is gonna die before the other one and if it happens to be, like, in the next year, then I want her to be able to have a life and it not be defined solely by me being dead.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What kind of reality show would that be? That’s a good idea for a reality show, right?” Stevie “Widow peak…” L “Widow’s Peak!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Christy, my wife, she said, if I die first and, at a young age, or if I die young, I don’t want you to remarry at all, I want you to get a nanny, get a really ugly nanny for the kids.” “If she dies young, I’m to get a really ugly nanny to take care of my kids.” R “But when do you get to date again?” L “I don’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 622: L “Rhett, you don’t need an imaginary friend. I’m your real friend right here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t know you manage goats, properly, but when you do-.” L “Take ten percent off the top. Entertainment humor!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>More: R “I don’t remember all my great ideas like ‘what’s in the bag.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “People like to get things, it doesn’t matter what they are.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 623: R “When I smell my ten year-old’s hair from six feet away, he gets a shower…” “And you know what they say about navy! It cleans you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We should have a fire that’s always going on set.” L “A grooming fire!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-df2b4cba-435b-9d62-90fa-9bf42d508366"><span>GMMore: L “Like, the first thing I thought of when we were gonna move into this studio space was, ‘I can get a urinal!’ and I don’t mean, like, beside my desk...” “Because my idea of ‘arriving’ is being able to pee in a urinal at my place of work or home. If one of these days, I get to build my own house, I’m gonna, there’s gonna be a place for a urinal in my own house.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 624: R "It's like gymnastics are happening in my mouth." “Mayonnaise was a mistake. That’s not the first time I’ve said that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Ladies and gentlemen, you’ve just witnessed the first time that I’ve eaten sushi with raw fish in it and not wretched.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 625: L “Over seven million views helps to take the awkwardness out of an intersection awkward exchange.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I smell my face in a way I’ve never smelled my face and I’ve got eel butt blood on my palm!” “My nose smells my face.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 626: L “Thank you for letting us into your brains, your minds, your thoughts, your ears, your eyes, your hearts, your soul on a daily basis.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 627: R "Ah, this is so hot. Am I the first time you've ever done this, for a girl?""What have you been eating?" </p>
<p>L "Come down for a landing in my arms, baby." "Yeah, you are the first time I've ever done this." "You, sorry" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I’ll show you a party trick! Burn an apple!” “It’s a Blackle,....Blapple.” “Chase, what’s your secret? Chinchilla-petting?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 628: L “But guys, put away the revenge. Come on, let’s channel positivity into polka dots on other things.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If I said it wrong by accident, it would be ‘sit pains’, which I can relate to sometimes.” “Whenever I say something funny, sometimes Rhett just says, ‘Wow, he finally said something funny. What a surprise.’” (joking->) “Matter of fact, this is it. Christy, you have a problem. You’re a tom peeper.” “And no one’s just a peeper.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-f6d4-556a-5d20-8a221b605c64">R “You got a peeping tom? She’s a peeping tom? I knew it.” “Once a peeper, always a peeper.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 629: R “Let it go and make it flow.” “You poor it, we’ll endure it.” “You can add to all your taglines: Never mistaken for pond water.” “You gush it, we’ll crush it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Alex, you’re a good pourer. I can just tell by listening.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You wet yourself!” R “That’s not my water, man. That’s my drinking buddy’s water!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “The tap water here in LA is notoriously bad, but back in North Carolina, my nanny, she had well water and it would taste-” R “Like a well.” L “like a well, but in a good way.” R “Like dirt.” L “In a good way.” R “Like it’s been surrounded by dirt.” L “In a good way.” R “In a good way.” L “In a good way.” “Her bottle said, ‘in a good way.’” Tastes like Granny’s well.” Both “In a good way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7433-89fa-702d-3de26f6f2394"><span>R “Don’t suck on the apparatus.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 630: R “Eat chicken and then stick the bones inside of the broccoli and give it to your children.” "You can talk like Link if you want, but I don't." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Like garden peas, no, those are the balls of, like, green monkey babies.”"Tossy, Tossy, Tossy!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Alexis got a voice-change operation.” “When our kids modify nerf guns, that’s just code for breaking them.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 631: R “What do you get if you cross and termite and a dinosaur?” L “What?” R “DYNOMITE!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Myrtle Beach is the fun capital of my dad. He has a beach house there.” “A dolphin is a fish.” “A snail and turtle? That would be real slow. Slowest animal ever!” “I’ve always said that a turtle is just a snake with a shell.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Wow, Link, you should have been a zoologist!” L “I can be a animal mater! What are those called? A breeder.” “I’m gonna be a breeder of animals. It’s not gonna be creepy at all.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 632: R “At least you’re with the ones you love.” I could pee in my pants right now and you know what, I wouldn’t even be embarrassed cause I’m gonna be dead in a second.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Some of which are already dead, It’s weird, they’re there, it’s morbid.” “I’m gonna miss not being alive.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Have you watched ‘The Purge’?” R “Nope. I was home alone one time and I wanted to watch it, but I got scared.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I mean I would eat a LOT of cookie dough.” “I think the point is we need to be cultivating relationships with bodyguards.” “I can’t be trusted with a bowie knife.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-1590-0797-dc9a-ec297afe8d03">R “As soon as I find out the world is ending, I’m going to a yacht.” “That was the worst attempt at hurting me that anyone has ever done.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 633: R “Woo! I’m a high-heeled lumberjack!” (singing) “I’m alone in the woods and I sleep in a van.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Yeah, manly lumberjack, yeah!” (singing) “You’ve got to get out of bed, slip on the some heels and slap life in the face with an ax.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R (to Jesse) “Baby, I’m sorry for every time I have ever complained about you complaining about your feet hurting because that is hellish, that is a hellish experience right there wearing those things.” “There’s so much cultural pressures for me to wear wooden sunglasses. This is a lumbersexual.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2377-b1d4-364c-5084c247b29e">L “It’s like man, when she’s wears them high heel shoes, it’s like a flashy fishing lure.” “It’s like putting a piece of, like, tin foil on the end of your line, man, and those bass just wanna gobble it up.” “Men are like bass and women are like fishing lines.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-19d4-484a-5a5deac9d64a"><span>GMM 634: R “You’re not gonna sell these socks, lady!” “I want that guy’s soul.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 635: R "But let me tell ya, it works without fail. It's how I got my wife." "After seeing this, I'm thinking about projecting my own face on the front of my house so I walk through my own mouth to enter it." "Okay, well I didn't know this was a date. I thought it was a beard stroking exercise." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You kept backing away from her slowly? I'm sure that's what she was hoping." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Who knew that when you said 'hot diggity dog' so much, your left eye would start watering just a little." "It's a bagel crown." "I do, Noah. It's sprat." "You're supposed to lubricate a machine with that." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Noah "Do you guys have any food allergies, like, is there anything you guys can't eat?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I've tried to discover if I do and so far, nothing's backfired." "They ate the sprat and drank the clak!" "That's the name of Chunk's next album: 'Eat the sprat and drink the clak.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 636: R “Saturday mornings cartoons are so yesterday. It’s all about Song Biscuits!” “Come on down to purple town.” “The king is tasting music. Do a little beatbox. It’s like popcorn.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 637: L “Thanks for the geography lesson.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Question. How hard is it to hunt a goat? I mean, really.” R “Have you ever killed a goat?” L “No, but they're just standing there.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Your voice sounds weird, Link. I’m gonna comment about it. What if it stays like this, guys? When are ya gonna stop commenting? I’m really self-conscious about my voice. This is how it is now, forever!” “It’s getting a little graphic around here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You wanna talk about me taking a bath more?” R “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hold on, I just said ‘rectally.’ So that was up the butt. I thought an enema was, was up the peehole.” R “Are you crazy?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-5165-d23b-d74b42c9164f"><span>L “I was like, rectally, why would you put a catheter in your butthole? Okay, um, hmm. Dot com!” R “Why would you put a catheter in your butthole dot com.” L “Don’t register that. Register any domain you want. I don’t recommend it being that one. Also, look out for killer whales in a dingy.” R “Look out for killer whales in a dingy dot com.” L “And look out for a nurse if you’re in a dingy.” R “Dot com.” L “‘cause she might have a ladder tube.” </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 638: R “Oh, we had a nice bathroom. Big stalls, tall toilets. I’m a tall man.” “There’s nothing like a green woman.” “What color will she be next? (laughs) That sounds like something my dad would say.” “...I’m proud to also announce the first ever ‘Good Mythical Morning Book Club’!” “What womens have you dated, Wil Wheaton?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 639: L “I’m more human than you are. I’m more human than human.” “When I clench my buttox, my whole head just moves.” “I’ve spent years toning my face muscles and head muscles.” “All of my genetics were poured into my face. I don’t even have genetics in the rest of my body!” (singing->) “Your lips are movin’, but you’re not flarin’, flarin’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Your facial muscle control, Link, is staggering.” L “More human and human.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You could invent this for kids out there who can’t play traditional sports. You could start a campaign for facial sports.” L “I invented this one. This one’s called the ‘skinstache’. It’s a skin moustache.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link, you could have been an athlete if this was a sport!” L “A facelete!” R “This is your arm! Could have been armlete!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “There’s like three or four different things working for you. You got a long tongue, you got a long neck, you got a short upper arm and you got wide shoulders-” L “And don’t forget the brains.” R “And you’re very smart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “My tongue smells funny.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 640: R “Listen, I gotta taste the spinning taco. This day can’t end.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I actually feel like I could smell a book right now!” R “Nah, that’s just me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Can you tell the Italians goo for me?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Here’s some tiramisu ----.” R “It says ‘cake’, Link.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7434-aabd-ca82-59bf6d41625e"><span>L “I thought I’d give it an alternate pronunciation.” “I always wondered what it would feel like for a turkey to scratch my back.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 641: L “I’ve never seen an astronaut eat a hot dog.” “Hot dogs on a menu is like putting a scratch-and-sniff sticker on a Mona Lisa.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s as if the hot dog was created for the human mouth. The hamburger, on the other hand, was created for some sort of large cartoon character with a big circular mouth.” “My mama used to make a hot dog sandwich for me to take to elementary school with me. White bread, ketchup, mustard, hot dog sliced in half so I wouldn’t choke on ‘em. And sure, by the time I opened it up at lunch, it was soggy and nasty, kids looked at me like I was funny, but you know what? Inside that hot dog sandwich was love. My mama loved me and she chose hot dogs.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c7-95aa-6dbf-3e9a0b504a69"><span>GMMore: R “When I look at that gelatinous stuff coming out of that pipe, I think to myself, ‘how do they make it taste so good? How do you make pig lips and cow tongue and bile taste so good?!’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 642: L “He’s so bored, he’s got to play with bubbles?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Mr. Rhett. What do you want? You want a cheeseburger to just come out of the door?” L “It cooks, too?” R “I’m sure it will!” L “It will not.” R “By 2035, it’ll do whatever you want it to do! It’ll discipline your children! You won’t have to do anything except just lean back!” L “Don’t make it pull over, kids! It’ll do it! I won’t even be doing anything!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “In 2035, we’ll all be leaning back and enjoying watching the Titanic as we drive around in our Mercedes.” L “That is poetic!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m coming back to ya, Lynda.” R “Lynda’s always there.” L “Hey, Lynda. I’m coming back to ya.” R “I like the name, Lynda, on a woman or a website.” L “Trying to just rekindle our old flame so I can learn some Logic X. Me, you and Logic X.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I can parallel park with the best of ‘em.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 643: R “Good Mythical top of the mornin’ to ya! Yes, I said that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Stonehenge is a big emoji. I do know that.” R “Yeah, you have to be in an airplane to see that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “This is an Irish song?” L “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7950-d0c8-3169-3a91e49d4143"><span>R “Should we stop this? ‘My sources say no.’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 644: R “Link, you’re better than this!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Grit lips. So good, that could be a lip balm. ‘Hey, man. You heard about ‘grit lips.’? They’re selling it at rhettandlink.com/store.’” L “That’s something I say to a woman I’m sweet on. ‘Hey, grit lips. Come over here and pucker up." R "A woman you're sweet on? Okay..." L "Like, you got some gritty lips, girl.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "It's so distinctive, Link. I almost said, 'Linktive.' So distinctive, Linktive. Can I call you Linktive?" L "Sure."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 645: L “No cat should be groomed, period.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7951-163f-f8ae-d2c739e922bb"><span>R (to June) “You’re the best dog in the United States.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 646: L “I have a theory, seriously, that the greatest actors are the most intelligent actors, like, I think it takes a lot of intelligence to embody someone else effectively.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “All geniuses watch ‘Sesame Street.’” “Smart people bounce, man. That’s why I’m gonna be starting to do it! Sign me up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “That’s how you become a genius. You gets lots of wedgies in grade school.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7969-3d35-4495-1d2ce2bf08b7"><span>R “...I have always thought that darkness of your eyebrows is an indication of your intelligence quotient.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 647: R “This is about me, man! This isn’t about them, this is about me winning a game!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Who would ever wanna watch people retch for entertainment?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I have an idea for a toaster that doesn’t scare you.” L “You’re scared of toasters?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s called The No Scare Toaster.” L “For people who are afraid of toasters. Your nightmares are over! That’s good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Morgan, what’s yours?” Morgan “Jeopardy, I guess.” L “So you’re retired, is what you’re saying?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What are the chances that dad knows anything on this game?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We should do a whole game show that’s just running out of a house, running out onto the patio when it’s got a sliding glass door ‘cause there’s nothing better than watching people run through a sliding glass door.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 648: L “This guy’s becoming more suspicious and more annoying the more I watch him.” “This dude can’t keep his mouth shut and his hands down.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Check out the cactus.” “These two guys, the ‘Good Mythical Morning’ hosts, definitely part of the Illuminati.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “He’s really interested in you seeing the cactus on his shirt?” R “Yeah.” L “What kind of guy does that?” R “That guy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is like the sweatshirt that you get when you join the Illuminati, okay!” L “Not to be worn in public, usually.” “He probably got a fine for wearing that on the internet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “He said, ‘Illuminati’!” L “That was a mistake!” “They shouldn’t have let that guy in!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “That sweatshirt was hand-crafted for me to wear on this show on a regular basis at regular intervals of prime numbers, pay attention, by Mrs. Illuminati herself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c7-d650-39d5-c5d9e2897d4b"><span>L “Can I download something on ya here?” R “Download it, man.” L “I’ve been freaked out by the Freemasons for years!”</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 649: L "We thought, 'why not take an item that you always step on and get really upset and make an entire shoe out of it?' That's right, the ubiquitous building toy for children of all ages-" Both "LEGOs!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This isn’t the first time I’ve been in heels in an awkward situation.” “I feel like a horse in Cheese-land.” “Are your feet getting more literate?” “Foot butter straight from the foot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link, could you anoint my feel with oil?” (saying in an old man voice->) “It’s the year 2075 and I’ve got ball-shoes.” “That’s some good foot butter!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 650: L “We bout to cover his face and my body in questionable stuff.” “We’re so crazy, we’re burning three lights at once!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Give me that sweet face, Link.” “Well, I like grape mustard, they call me Sweet Face!” “You look like a futuristic space woman. Wanna go on a date?” <br class="kix-line-break"/>GMMore: L “I mean, let’s be honest. We don’t email people back.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2d0-217c-6a7d-3f86eaa80caa">R “It’s Macaulay Culkin. He turned into a cookie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 651: R “They’ll really be onto something if when you dance hard enough, it raises the roof.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 652: R “Link, it’s a ‘Portable Beauty Lift High Nose Electric Nose Lifter Massage Remove Blackheads.’ I mean, it doesn’t get any better than this.” L “That’s a noseful.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Sometimes, I get my ipad and my iphone back from my kids, and I’m like, ‘Wh- Did you take snot from your nose and purposely apply it to this device?’ I can only imagine if they were in the pooper!” “Shepherd gets on my back and he says ‘let’s play, “Where’s Shepherd?”’, but he’s on my back. He’s six years old and he wants to play it all the time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1c8-20a0-2ee1-927a1831e8a3"><span>L “I definitely fear that I’m gonna wipe my butt with my phone.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-a1ff-e9de-ed3b-060f856eb835"><span>GMMore: L “Welcome to ‘Good Mythical More.’ It’s more of what we’ve been doing, but it’s a little different.” R “Oh! The More is?” L “I just mean, like, in general. ‘Oh! The More is!’” R “That’s what More is!” L “We do it every time, yeah.” R “More is, I-” L “It’s more of what we’ve been doing, but a little bit different.” R “You know what? I didn’t realize until last week that this was filmed.” L “And now, we’re not gonna get the real you anymore.” R “I’ve spent hundreds of episodes just thinking that we’re just shooting the breeze. I was like, Link’s a good friend. You know, he just wants to connect for, like, ten minutes after our show every day, and then I found out-.” L “Before we get up and get on with our lives.” R “you were doing it for the views and I’ve really just changed the whole way I feel about it!” L “If I was doing it for the views, I’d be eating more junk.” R “Can we do a More More? Can we do a Most?” Can we do a Good Mythical Most and that’s not filmed and it’s just me and you talking?” L “Yeah, man. It could just be our lives.” R “Our lives!” It can just be our lives!”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 653: L "If eyes are the window to the soul, then the face is the front of the house, and facial expressions are the paint on the house that constantly changes color to show you what the house is feeling."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think I’m gonna be pretty good at this because sometimes I just look at people’s faces and don’t look at any other parts of their body and I know what they’re doing.” L “Well, dates like that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7958-3236-b329-c32cabeca9dc"><span>R “I gotta look at people’s faces better!” L “Yep, you know. There’s an art to this.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You look like a sad apple at the state fair.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R</span> <span>"Don't say yes to the combo.” “I feel like I just aggressively ate a sundee.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 654: R “I kinda like smelling like cheese. I’ve wanted to work at a cheese factory.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d3e7-dde5-183e-7573d2645701">GMMore: L “Eddie got in a fight at Disneyland and they almost kicked him out. He’s really upset, and if you’re gonna talk to him, refer to him as ‘Bonnie Kathleen’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 655: L “When you’re really confident, you don’t even have to speak English.” “Confidence kinda sounds like air eeking out of a balloon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “As the food comes up, the anxiety comes down. That’s how I like to look at it.” R “I never percieve this in this way. From now on,“ L “You’ll look at it differently.” R “this is a revelation for me!” “I thought you were just throwing up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “George Washington Carver is one of my favorite males of all time!” “If people say, what superpower would you have if you could have a superpower…and I don’t say flying, I say, pointing at a postcard and being there. You might say, ‘what about teleportation, wouldn’t that be easier?’ No, I like to have to go to the store and get the postcards.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I can only smell through you, Jen.” “When in doubt, order now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-cacd-a9fd-ec9e8408477f"><span>R “ Linkella and Rhettella.” L “Anybody want to spread some Link on some wafer?” “Peanut butter and Link? On a spoon?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 656: R "I get to eat these peeps, 'cause they're just little ducks, or chicks made from marshmallows. They're not raw eggs."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-7958-b4a2-08bf-af59c17500f5"><span>GMM 657: L “What’d you learn from us today?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We could be creating a meme, unknowingly.” "This is called a conversation. Join it!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-83f0-f6b9-89e70df6dc14"><span>L “Never have I been more happy to have been wrong about something!” “Eddie can make a Face Blanket, but he’s not barcode material.” "I'm gonna be a rapper! I'm gonna call myself ‘Ritz Cracker.’"</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 658: L "It's like human Drano." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "We don't even show up anymore. We're not even here. This is a program." "Don't give away our secrets, man." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-148a-2ef6-2495-36c50078bf12">L "...as we've shared many times, Rhett and Link, Rhett and I-" R "I'm Rhett, he's Link. Welcome to the show." L "I just spoke to myself in third person. I spoke of myself." R "Yeah, you can't speak to yourself in third person. That would be weird." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-148a-2ef6-2495-36c50078bf12">L "The words that come out of my face sometimes have nothing to do with anything that's happening in my brain."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 659: L “Peoples be suing other peeps for some totes ridics reasons!” “Vomiting’s fine, just don’t get up and run into a door frame!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Unrestricted merriment! That’s my life theme!” “I will say, we will never eat blended rat on this show. We have standards.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think he had a case here.” L “Really?” R “A case of bud light!” L “You didn’t do that on purpose. That’s why you’re laughing so hard. It just came out! You backed into that joke!” R “I walked right into that one and then rescued it!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac96-4741-3184-f89f3368ec1c"><span>GMMore: R “Gotta have a kidney placeholder.” L “It’s like a prenup for your kidney.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 660: R “I call it ‘Le poulet de Eiffel tower avec Pac-Man.’” “...I am the king at creating meals from random stuff from the refrigerator...my favorite creation is what I call a ‘cracker cheese plate’ that I came up with as a middle schooler…” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Nava-nope!” "We just dough-minated!" (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Now, I can smell the Durian kinda coming through. I can smell a dead body in there.” “If you can get through a carrot, you can get through a human finger.” “Make it through the seven stages of gooey goodness.” “We have to have a really ridiculous analogy for everything we eat.” "We do, we do, we do."</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-eba4dfc4-4e15-6b5c-c7cd-48d723ffbac7">L “I might get into cutting stuff now that we have this board. ‘You guys have anything you want me to slice?’ You know, I could get into that.” "This has got a peanut lead but then the backgr-, then the follow-up is sawdust. It's like something that would be in the bottom of a snake cage, including the snake poop." "Thanks for mailing us stuff, guys. We appreciate everything." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 661: R “Dolk is my favorite graffiti artist! I’m gonna commit a crime so I can go and experience Dolk on a daily basis!” “Oh, Dolk. You and your irony!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I want some ice cream in the shower. I’m just living a prison dream, I’m just thinking.” L “No one will see you eating ice cream in the shower ‘cause it’s so private.” R “Nobody. Just me and my ice cream.” L “And your soap. Don’t eat the soap thinking it’s the ice cream.” R “Keep the soap apart from the ice cream.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I’m not going to kill Link.” L “It’s impossible anyway. You couldn’t kill me if you tried.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “From now on, all facts will be given in unison.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 662: R “...I’d like to have a guitar made with strings made from my skin, my guts and then you learn how to play the guitar, awesome classical guitar, and you go on a career classical guitar playing.” L “I’m not gonna do that ‘cause I have to grow out my fingernails”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Put some of my ashes in a Pringle can, too.” “My gut’s are gonna be for the guitar, I’m going in a Pringles can and put me in a book that you’re writing.” “And make meals for me everyday just in case I come back. What are you doing if you die?” L “I’m just gonna go in a cardboard box.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If I die first, you have got to put me on display right here and keep doing the show without me. You can’t get a new host!” “And if you die first-” L “Do that to me!” R “We’re shaking on it.” L “Let’s just air shake.” “We’re air shaking on this one. It’s kinda like pinky promising with an index finger.” R “Just trying to leave a legacy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R</span> <span>"</span><span>She dated Frank Sinatra</span> <span>and Elvis Presley. I’ve heard of both of those guys. And dating both of them is a pretty big deal. I would date both of them!” L “Right, me too.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “People do strange stuff. Have we not established that on this show yet?” L “We’ve established that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 663: L “You should just feel stupid for not listening to yourself.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “One of the best movies of all time, one of my favorite movies, lots of people have seen it. If you haven’t seen The Princess Bride, you need to watch it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac95-eb4c-9b6d-8c0b9c11d620"><span>GMMore: L “I’m smarter than you. Just live with it.” “I’ve been wrong so much by accident that I’m not going to put it past myself.” </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 664: R “Put your arms in, Neal!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I could poke your eye out with my nipples right now.” “This goes out to all the mythical beasts out there. All of you out there in mythical beast land, don’t try this!” “Hey, look! There’s a Sprite down in here!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Why are we holding hands?” L “Cause I need you right now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-adfb-5f8e-f49e-63970219cd73">(Unedited version, added: R “I feel like I could sand something with my goosebumps. Like I can sand wood with my goosebumps right now.”)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Alex, can you help zip this thing up here?” R “You want somebody to zip your little sleeping bag?” L “You know what, I can do that. I’m a big boy. Help me anyway.” R “Says adult man in sleeping bag sitting at desk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We need a hot tub in this building. Can we get a hot tub installed? Can somebody put a hot tub on set? There should be a hot tub on this set. We should do the whole show from a hot tub.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ae09-2e55-5246-1e51cda34565">L “The gifs. Can’t wait for that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 665: R "We are happy to announce that we have finally and officially moved into our new building!" L "New studio, new offices, it's nice!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Alright, Henry. Everything's fine, buddy." R "Everything's going to be just fine." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Don't seal your hand in with Henry. He doesn't like that. He doesn't want that." "Going to squishy town, Henry." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Henry has never fit so many places and you can still cuddle him. He's not quite as forgiving though." L "But you know what? I don't think he'll ever forgive us. Look at how happy he looks, though!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 666: R “You know there’s over four thousand species of flora on this planet, and if you’ve ever seen the M-night Shamalamadingdong movie, ‘The Happening,’ you know that you should be scared of all of them! Spoiler alert!” “Stinging bush! Actually scary!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “They put your heart to sleep. It’s like slowly falling out of love with life and dying.” “I touched some eyeballs and my heart stopped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Don’t wanna mix breaths.” “What are you using Carmex for? You have herpes? Finally? Joining the ranks of mouth herpes.” “I would hate me if I ran into me here.” (->put that on a t-shirt, sorta) “I wanna change my hairstyle, I just fear the comments.” “Let’s shave our heads like we did that Easter break in college…”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "One of the things I’ve noticed and one of the things that people have pointed out to me is that I have uh, probably for every time that you adjust your glasses, I lick my own lips." L “Is there a correlation?" R “No.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c9-525e-6139-833654874cc9">“I would hate me if I ran into me at an airport. I don’t like men who spend this much time on their hair.” “I’m sorry to all women that I’ve ever judged about you had saying that there was something up with your hair because of the humidity. I had so much trouble with my hair on the East Coast and I felt like such an idiot.” “I almost went back to the buzzcut while in North Carolina.” “I identify with women everywhere.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 667: L “‘The Glass Wolf.’ That’s a good name for a Minecraft account, like, ‘oh, here comes the Glass Wolf!’” R “You playing Minecraft again?” L “A little bit.” R “A little bit on the side, they call me The Glass Wolf.” L “Yeah, I just gave it away. Look for me on the Minecraft servers, The Glass Wolf.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s not mad to fall madly in love with someone, especially if their name is got “the handsome” in it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “He would drench his beard, his clothes, and wall hangings, like everything around him in ambergris.” “It is a solid, waxy, flammable substance of a blackish color produced in the digestive system of a sperm whale. Sounds like it smells great, dudn’t it? Let me rub some of that on my beard!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Fishy and fecal. My two favorite smells.” “You gotta like a man who has distinct tastes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “We are proud to say that ‘Good Mythical Morning’ is up for two different Webbys and then our Nerd vs. Geek rap battle is up for another Webby.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-0c47f05c-ac97-357e-64cd-604f8636c71b"><span>L “Let’s be honest. We want to win the People’s Voice Award...”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 668: R “Can I see the manager? 'Cause this is hair and, uh, cardboard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You’ve swallowed a pill bigger than that before.”</p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 370-520tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-02-06:2452419:BlogPost:22914572016-02-06T03:30:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Feb 5 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a></strong>, <strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 521-666</a>, …</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Feb 5 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post & GMM 1-181</a></strong>, <strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 182-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 521-666</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 667-813</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 814-967</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 968-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 370: L “Awkwardness is almost a state of mind. Decide what you’re going to do and do it. Don’t waffle around.” “We do not condone this hot Santa or these Thor glasses.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2ce-4685-de3a-c5124d02fd82">GMMore: L “Custom made desk here. Perfect height, perfect width, exactly what we need ever since The Mythical Show..." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2ce-4685-de3a-c5124d02fd82">"</span>That was a fun adventure. Kinda scary, adrenaline, body odor.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2ce-4685-de3a-c5124d02fd82">L (reading->) "Dear Rhett & Link, I am delighted to say that I have finished reviewing the attached first two chapters of 'The Dream Walker'..." R "That was my nickname in high school."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 371: R "We will never get into culinary school." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Jason: “Rhett is the meat master.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Kangaroos are known to stink.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe6-597b-8edf-9ef642286495">R “Wake up and smell the wild boar!” (L - put that on a t-shirt)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 372: R “I. Am. Hawkman.” “Happy Birthday, Hawkman!” “Not only do I think Hawkman is the best superhero ever, I believe strongly that a Hawkman movie could be the best superhero movie of all time.” “When you really want to get people’s attention, you go into the cone.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If I get to wear eye makeup in a movie, I will do it for free.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 373: <span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe6-a43a-a346-64dce1f7ce84">Locke: “You’re kinda being a wimp if you think they hurt.” “In my house, we can’t shoot inside, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Ohh, in the ball.” “I ate 3 darts.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We’re going to be pelted with American girls.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 374: L “I could take a nap right here, right now.” “But he has an excuse, he’s 3. I’m don’t. I’m not homeless.” “That was like a pig choking on pork.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You sound like a pig choking on pork.” (t-shirt saying idea) “You’re just a guy that likes a siesta.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “My wife hates this, but every so often, I put a couple of pillows in between us. Cause she’s so cuddly.” “You should start your own YouTube channel: ‘Link Sleeps.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You need to build a larger enclosure. Or a moat.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 375: R “Let me bite your fingernails.” L “No.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “There’s only one thing worse than having a co-worker that uses incorrect grammar and that’s being the co-worker that constantly corrects their grammar. I mean, that is annoying, I’m just saying, unless you work in the English department of a school, then you can correct them all you want.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b6-019f-5837-c609b1af71cf">GMMore: L “You gonna don the sequins and you’re gonna go get some shaboo shaboo?” “You got a pretty neck, but let’s put some hair around it.” “Alright, Sabrina. Let your hair down, say yes.” “Don’t go stag to the prom. We learned from that, then we took dates.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 376: L (about Sam->) "Don't hold it against him, teachers. He has two weird dads and we don't know what to do with him." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Isn't Beyonce the queen?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 377: R “Always mug a man that's makin' jazz hands.” "We’ve got a tumblr and we retumble things that you tumble because we’re really into tumblr…"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 378: L “I just like to have friends. Can I make a friend because I have a Russian fact?” “So if we balled Russia up, it can be a planet.” “What did the elbow say to the pasta? We’re both pasta!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “It pisses me off when somebody walks in my house with sock, sweats. What is it, movie night, family, slumber party?” “I’m smelling a stereotypical stink here.” “I love when women carry heavy things. That’s just me, personally. It’s just sexy, man.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 379: L “...cause swans make geese, right?” R “Swans make other swans unless there’s something wrong with them.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Was there a Valentine’s Day that you ever forgot while dating? No! Was there a Valentine’s Day you forgot while married? Heck yes! It’s just a reality.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 380: L “I just feel like my masculinity just is drained from my body as I enter the Panera. I don’t know, it’s like, it’s a woman’s lair. You know, there’s breads and stuff being baked and it seems like, ‘I shouldn’t be here.’” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...I’m saying women love Panera and when I’m there, I wanna have an excuse, but I do like it.” R “You feel like a woman, yeah.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “My mom subscribes to People magazine and I read the heck out of the thing when I go back home for the holidays.” L “Do you read it in the bathroom secretly?” R “No, I read it openly in front of my family but that’s because they’ve accepted me for who I am.” L “And who are?” R “A man who like People magazine!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "...I would like a secret Pinterest account and I'd like all the things that are previously listed on my list to be pinned on that said account." R "You want pictures of men in spray tans on your Pinterest account?" L "I want a secret account where I can figure out how Pinterest works." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b6-4bb9-0f0b-ae011ff982dd">L “Hey, Jimmy Page, can you, just take it, take five, okay?” R “Cool, bro! You let me know when you’re ready, bro!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t want to spoil your fun, but I think you’re having it at the expense of everyone else listening.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 381: L "Enough backstory!" "Give that to somebody else's baby, maybe, but not my baby!" "Why are we doing this? Science!" "What have we become?" "If you're keeping score at home, we are losers." "Verdict. People. Let's give it. Grammar. English. Question mark." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Put that on a t-shirt: Dog food's better than baby food." L adds: "any day of the week."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Kids, if you're gonna eat glue, don't, but if you insist on it, do it with Sriracha." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I'll be Rafe, you be Jared." L "Well, it depends on what they do in the book."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 382: L “‘Sign this if you don’t want me to keep crapping in your yard. It’ll get back to the people who feed me.’” “Attach signage to every cat.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “‘Ladies man gorilla,’ that’s what they call me. Gorilla man for the ladies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 383: L “And I think that’s the working definition of a redneck is someone who sits on something, takes to the air and then starts to flail about.” “Snow plus kayak equals snow-kayaking equals instant death.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “‘Cause you’re the breadwinner.” R “Mhmm. I am. I also am the bread cooker sometimes.” L “Not baker.” R “Let me cook some bread for ya, baby!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Welcome to ‘Talking in Circles with Rhett & Link.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 384: R “The plan was foiled by a MORON. And I’m not happy about it, moron, wherever you’re at. Headbanded moron.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 385: L “You should have a woodworking project with you that’s finished at all times.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both: “Can you curl that?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (reading->) “‘In this package is a painting I did of your logo with a touch of realism.’ A touch? No, that’s just a whole slather of realism!” R “So this thing is a detailed version. I mean, and I look like me and you look like ye. You know what? That usually doesn’t happen when people do these kinds of things.” L “That’s because it was done with the master’s touch.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 386: R “Buenos mythical dias.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-0ad4-5e70-646d-912de7ce36fb">GMMore: R “Oh my goodness, we have lost a light. We’re just gonna have to continue in darkness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 387: R “My taste buds are confused like a cat that eats coffee for a living.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe6-f701-927e-3c15d1ae1e4c">GMMore: L “I make coffee in a fresh prince.” “I would take them out of an elephant’s butt, too...” “As the king’s evil, I make an edict that all people shall take coffee up the rear twice a day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 388: R “I love the concept of time travel and I want it to be possible. Let me just go on record saying that I hope it is possible and I hope I can partake in it at some point.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 389: R “...We’re gonna have the very first meeting of people who met on an app.” “It’s like going on a first date with a guy and his two uncles.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “So, as you get older, now I don’t know what the average age of the person who watches ‘Good Mythical Morning’ is, but I have noticed something-” L “47.” R “I have noticed something about the average person who’s younger than us these days and you guys, you don’t like awkwardness enough and we really, as you can tell,” L “We love it.” R “we REALLY like it. L “Yeah.” R “So when you just think that we’re being weird, it’s because this is as good as it gets for us. Being two creepy uncles in a big SUV with two people that just met for the first time who are getting fake ice cream,” L “Like a dream come true.” R “that is like A plus plus experience for us,” L “Yeah.” R “and if you don’t understand that, then I feel sorry for ya.” L “We’ve never connected with a female via text.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We toasted each other twice and that’s never happened!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 390: L “It’s good to always keep a pool of enemies around that you can get to backfill the job that you hate. It’s a different type of revenge.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 391: L “You know we bring a lot of baggage to this show.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “So apparently, if you have the proper documentation, you can take all the human heads you want.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 392: L “I eat so few tomatoes ‘cause I hate ‘em that-and then when I thought it was an olive, I started to wretch.” “That’s a good palate cleanser after eating that olive tomato!” “I taste everything by sight, Meghan.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Meghan “Olives don’t burst.” L “They don’t?” M “No.” L “They slice?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is cheese a berry?” “I thought it was cheese-berry!” “Lots of berries are slimy!” “Banana’s a good fruit. If you don’t like bananas, I don’t like you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I used to think as a child that every time I ate strawberry, I was planning a strawberry tree in my belly.” Meghan: “‘Cause strawberries grow on trees, kids.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “In New Zealand, the stitches go the other way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 393: R “I looked into your brain.” L “You were looking into my brain?” R “I was. I saw your hair, though. Your hair’s in the way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It ain’t never occurred to nobody where we’re from to kiss anybody on the cheek, unless-” R “You’re related to ‘em!” L “-unless it’s your aunt or your grandma-” R “It’s a woman that you’re related to. You can kiss the heck out of that woman’s cheek.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I kiss all those people on the lips, by the way.” “Nana, I kiss her on the lips. On my dad’s side, I kiss ‘em on the lips.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...you know, but interestingly, your mom kisses me on the cheek. She really goes for it, too.” “She sticks around for a couple of seconds, too.” “I think she likes my beard. I think she likes her lips on my beard.” “I do not kiss your women back.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Tell me what to do now or I’m gonna really freak out.” L “What is wrong?” R “I’m lost! I feel like I’m in the studio though, somewhere.” L “Uh.” R “I see Lionel Richie and a fox.” L “Uh.” R “Where am I?” L “Rhett?” R “Yeah?” L “Turn around, buddy.” R “Oh. Sometimes I get a little mixed up.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “If you do brunch, you’ve got to do the cheek kiss in Silver Lake.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You didn’t even want to fist me! I’m not asking to kiss you.” L “I know because it’s a slippery slope, sir.” R “I started out the night just fist-bumpin’.” L “We did the plexiglass kiss and I’m still trying to recover from that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e828-0ad3-f269-4879a304ff9c"><span>L “But, I was like, ‘She strikes me as the type of person that I should cheek kiss right now.’” R “This wasn’t some awesome event, you weren’t dressed up, there was no music playing. You were in a lobby next to a table with jalapeno cheddar cheetos on it-” L “All of that’s true.” R “-and you wanted to kiss her cheek?” L “All of it’s true. What does it mean?” R “It means you’re slipping, man.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 394: R “I love things with post-it notes on it. Gotta see it.” “Anytime I draw a skull, it’s of women’s bodies. That’s a given.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s your number one?” L “Yeah, it’s pretty cool, right?” R “Hey! I’m with you.” L “You’re with me?” R “Yeah. I think you’re great.” L “Rhett thinks I’m great.” R “I think you have a great eye for movie posters.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’ve amassed a list of what I believe to be the most iconic movie posters in deja vu.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I inherited that from my mom. We can’t say names.” “The best movie posters are the ones that look like Benicio Del Toro. That’s my new theory now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2036-28d3-1ce8-257b2c1d8660"><span>L “Take enough laxatives, it does feel like an exorcism.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 395: L “You shouldn’t apologize for unfollowing a friend. They should apologize for making a boring, self-interested feed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "We love teachers!" R (singing) “Big fan of teachers. We hofe they’re all watching.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “It’s unadulterated tanner.” (singing)-->“Just call me Zestee!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe8-3d09-d70c-6c273d0b510f">R “My mom always told me ‘ You’re so good at shading.’” “When you get home tonight, say, ‘Hey, Christy, I want to show you my Zestee side.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 396: R "Pep talk. It's one of my strengths." "You have a whisper of discontent. That's why I always whisper to you, to try to speak to your heart."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I don't have a competitive bone in my body." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "I like being a secret leader." "I get people to submit to me and they don't even know they're submitting to me." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-58f5-0c24-8df9-a29c8c39a62d">“Who are these people that need bridges?" "I like to label people." "I would never buy an exotic car." "</span>That idea you’ve got, that brilliant one that you see withering and dying? Yep. That’s because of me. I’m the witherer of your ideas. Bring me your ideas and pearls and I will polish the pearls and I will kill your ideas.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 397: L “With the advent of, you know, hand-held devices, Rhett, I mean, it’s just inevitable that people are going to start snapping away and snapping away and snapping away. No escaping it.” “Well that’s probably sad, that is probably true, and it is definitely sad.” “It’s ‘cause women have more brains, it’s hard to keep their head straight.” “Meeting of the minds! Hashtag!” “Some scientist out there got a protractor out on instagram. Man, you gotta get life, dude!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Do you tilt your head? Are you 24 years old?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “No one has gotten lice from a selfie.” "Our kids bounce a lot."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 398: R “That’s all I need of her right there. She can save my day anyday.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Embarrassed. While, during, and after.” “You know, the selfie world is getting really competitive.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You don’t want to look embarrassed in your selfie.” “In the future, they’ll be a ‘Smelfie.’” </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 399: R “I’ll give my leg hairs for their men’s beards. I don’t know if you want my leg hair, it’s kinda curly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 400: L "Cake beard!" "Ooooh, we just gave birth to a can of bacon!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 401: L “He who laughs last is the last laughing owl to ever have laughed.” (R - put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 402: L “When in Rome, well, get nekked. I think that was the saying.” R “But it wasn’t Rome. It was Death Valley.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Hello, internet!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “If you like dry places with few people with few clothing at times and water coming out of rocks that’s hot, go to Death Valley.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “While nude, I don’t wanna piggy back ride on anybody. Well, not, I mean, maybe somebody, um, like my wife.” R “Just stop talking.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When you see a man with a flat top and it’s working, you immediately listen to-” L “Do everything he says.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 403: R “I love games!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m almost as smart as a phone. Smarter than Siri. I asked Siri to call me ‘Mac Daddy’ and she didn’t wanna do it.” L “She’s smarter than that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Cause when I’m driving through places, like, Yelp, I wanna know what’s a good place to eat and I also wanna know where the cool people are so I can eat with them.” “Never has the use of a smartphone made someone look so stupid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I tried out an imaginary friend, it didn’t work out, like in preschool.” R “That’s only yourself to blame, though.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 404: R “Right now, in another dimension, this show is happening, in another universe, and it’s a little bit different.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “There is a version of this show in which I talk like Jeff Goldblum and I have glasses and there’s a version where Link wears pants on his head.” L “Call me ‘Pants.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Love you, man.” L “Well, I mean, I like you as a friend.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Love you as a brother, Rhett. I love you as a brother.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Cosmologists’- Isn’t that somebody that works on your hair?” L “Yep. Cosmetologist.” R “I don’t think we should trust cosmetologists.” L “Cosmetologists everywhere agree there is a multiverse and the updo is in.” R “I’ve worked on enough hair in my day to know that there’s another universe out there!” L “There’s a universe where they’re doing every single hairstlye imaginable.” R “Yeah, man. There’s a universe out there where my hair goes down and yours goes up. Think about that!” Both “Whaaa?!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 405: L “My foodway opens up and air goes down it…” R “That is a problem.” L “I have had burps that have rumbled on for like, minutes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know what happens when you steal something like you did today.” L “You go to prison.” R “Yeah.” L “And that’s where Tommy was.” … R “And it was in Texas so he got executed.” L “And you know what?” R “That’s what’s gonna happen to you.” L “You need to return it.” R “Sleep tight.” L “Right now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I’ve learned something very specific eating all this stuff that’s got bacon flavor on it. Bacon is good.” L “Bacon flavor. Not good.” R “Bacon flavor. Not once has it been good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There’s a reason why bacon exists the way it does. That’s how it tastes, good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 406: L “Ridicool me! That’s when you get rid of my cool.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If it’s not in a hotel, it’s not a convention.” R “You might be the convention king!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Only the best for the Convention King!” L “Hi! My name is Convention King!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “We still have the Box of America. People ask about it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How do you say ‘g-o-t-h’?” L “G-o-t-h? That’s not a word.” R “Uh, yeah it is.” L “Hold on, I put a ‘c’ in there.” R “Gotcha!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s a good cartoon idea. ‘The Goth Golfer.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 407: R “The thing that I enjoy about amusement park rides is the perceived risk of dying.” L “Which makes me wanna line up for anything.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Did you go female on me?” R “Yeah. I’m a female in the audience.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I prefer the female you. I’m not gonna lie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Courtney’s my female name.” L “Courtney Rhett.” R “Yeah, when I take female form, I go Courtney.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The female version of me was really popular in high school.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 408: L “I’m willing to sacrifice my nose for space!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Mention Uranus and Stevie’s gonna laugh over there.” “It's getting silly up in here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2036-7ad9-3601-85a15202dff4"><span>R “Elon Tusk, you wanna watch House of Farts with me? It’s a big Netflix hit.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 409: R "I love conclusions." "Yoga pants! Where's that 40-year-old woman with yoga pants and earbuds? You smellin' my wife's non-existent perfume? Huh? You wanna fight? You wanna fight me? Huh?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Well, we're a strange family, but what are you?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Are you a clone?" L "No. Are you a foul-mouthed sailor?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Are you stupid enough to repeat the stupid thing [that] you just said?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 410: L "I have punched my wife in the face while sleeping in the past..." "Get your spouse to punch you in the face if you wanna have more vivid dreams."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Put that on a commercial. 'Cars Land does gets nice at night.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 411: R “It smells like my kid’s feet.” “Hey, sprinkle my ant heads with some ant parts!” “I’d rather eat poop.” “Let’s name him: HERB!” "You will own the internet if you do this." “Well this has been a good day, Link ate a scorpion and I got a tarantula.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You been smelling your kids' feet?" "I only eat female Katydids.” “I own you, scorpion.” "They call me the Scorpion King. They made a movie about me." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Yeah, we spoil our tarantulas around here.” “I can’t read Herb really well, but you know, I just got him!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 412: L “I’ve seriously considered doing the whole janitor key ring thing…” R “That would make you even cooler. And I’d know where you are at all times. I’d hear you coming, like you’d be ringing your little bell and be ‘oh, here he comes!’ and then as you get older and you start losing your mind, you know-” L “I’m already there, brother.” R “You need a big key ring and you know what? You could clean this place up. You could be the janitor! We need one!” L “No, I’m not gonna do that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “And I just throw my keys where I take my pants off.” L “Which is all over the place?” R “Which is any room. Sometimes, outside. I’ve taken my pants off outside. It’s California.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m living in my own prison.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2036-d045-1a51-e26059243c7b"><span>R “Any man who’s got pajama pants on is a follower. I’m just saying, I go out there in whitey tidies and my kids are like, ‘he is the tribe leader.’” “He’s definitely the chief. I should also be in my briefs.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 413: R “That’s the theme of my sleeping bag that I travel with: clouds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I don’t look like a dog.” “I’m a bagel that says, ‘ding.’ I’m a dingy bagel. ‘Cream Cheesy’. That’s what they call me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d3e7-8d7f-86b3-c607eaf76314">GMMore: L “I mean, I don't want to toot my own bagel here, but that was amazing." “If you fell for that, it’s because I’m an amazing actor.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 414: R “...one of my favorite things in life are studies of mothers from the United Kingdom.” “You’ve got Linkle! You don’t need Google!” “‘The Feeling of Wetness.’ That was the name of my band in high school. I was the lead singer. Linkle and Rhettle, The Feeling of Wetness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Je suis smarte!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What are shadows made of?” R “Shadows are made out of all the bad things you do and think about...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "What did you call them?” L “Obligate ram breathers.” R “That was the name of my band in college after ‘The Feeling of Wetness’ fell apart." “We were good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Just turn your BS faucet off for a second.” “Never make eye contact with a blacksmith…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You can’t look directly into the eyes of a blacksmith without sunglasses.”</span> <span>“Never finance a depreciating asset.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-244e-59cd-ec8660e81b53"><span>R “Give Boris a break, man at the place.” L “Give Boris a break.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 415: R “I wish I could make things true by just saying them! That would be a great superpower!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Welcome to the twenty-first century! I just got here!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love spring cleaning. It’s one of my favorite things. I spring clean every season. It’s just theraputic to throw things away. I’m looking for things to throw out. There’s a sense of control, I think, in throwing things away and I’ll admit that I like to have a sense of control over my life. It’s an illusion, but I like to have it by cleaning, so-” R “I feel sorry for you.” L “-and incidentally, that’s one of my major compatibilities with my wife so you can feel sorry for her, too.” R “I feel sorry for both of you.” “I like going to your house ‘cause it’s so clean. I’ll lick the floor in your house. It’d be like, ‘I know it’s clean! Tastes like Pledge!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I know that some of you are probably questioning my sanity by stabbing the eyeball out of my cookie...” “I just don’t want people to think I’m crazier that I need some sort of treatment.” R “But that’s, I mean, we’re way past that, you understand.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wish I was an Eagle Scout, really. Wish I was prepared. Always be prepared. That’s the motto of the Boy Scouts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 416: R “I love pizza. Pizza’s so good. I’m reminded of that every time the pizza plank goes into my mouth!” “I would like to be served this way for all meals!” “I think I’m a pizza expert, guys.” “I feel like I could be, like, an olympic pizza plank guy…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I kissed Craig’s beard. What happened? The Wheel of Mythicality. It’ll do crazy things. It’s okay. All for the comedy.” “The best pizza experience I’ve ever had was in Chicago. It was at, I think it was Pizza Uno? Pizzaria Uno, but I also ate at Lou Malnati’s...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 417: R “Every time I hear about cruise ships in the news, it’s about people getting diarrhea. It’s like, ‘the whole cruise ship got diarrhea and they had to turn around.’ It’s like, that doesn’t sound like something I want to invest in! I get diarrhea enough without investing in it!” “I get diarrhea just from bad food choices. I don’t want it to be a result from my living quarters!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-244e-59cd-ec8660e81b53"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-4ef1-c591-2f840903217b"><span>GMMore: L “I’m sure you’re great, but there’s some fans out there that like, who knows, loose cannons. Being trapped on a ship with them, it’s kinda scary. Course not mythical beasts...” “I may be the one stabbing my cookie face, but you’re the one wanting to make amusement parks where ya die. ‘Death Cruise,’ that’s what you’re saying?” “Don’t breathe deeply in the cocaine factory.” “If we had a ‘Rhett & Link’ cruise,...we would just, like, hang out. Like, ‘hey, what kind of cheese...are you eating?’”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 418: L “Since when then do they not make ashtrays in cars anymore?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You want to retrofit old cars with your gesture technology?” “Are you trying to kill me again?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t know why I’m such a morbid person.” “Mythicalest beastus maximus.” (speaking to Siri->) “Hey, Rhett, it’s Link, I was just texting you to let you know that, um, you know, I just been thinking about some things and um, I don’t know, it’s just complicated at this point, uh, maybe it’d be better just to have a phone call, I don’t know why you’re not returning my texts, um, you’re the one making it weird, uh, a little honesty goes a long way and uh, I’m not giving up on our friendship, but you need to pull your weight, um, listen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-0730-1ced-af49-ffe083bec157">R “I think it is that you need to workout. You can become like Carrot Top.” “I feel like this group, you mythical beasts who come to watch ‘Good Mythical More’, I feel like you’re the mythicalest mythical beasts, it’s like a new level of mythical…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 419: R “I suggest the salmon! I feel really strongly about the salmon!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There’s an inverse ratio between you finding this funny and me finding it enjoyable...” “Bloop me later.” “If you’re questioning whether you should send a text, you should just call.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ceaa-3f93-8198-d26c71974133">R “The first cell phone call I made was in 2001. I got married and I bought my wife and I phones and I gave it to her and I called her, I was like, ‘this is so cool.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 420: L “...I recommend wearing a t-shirt that says, ‘Prom Much?’” “People will line up! ‘Yeah, I would like to prom much!’ It’s like, ‘okay well, you can do that me!’” People are into this. It’s amazingly stupid!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If there are corsets at your prom, you should contact your school board.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “You gonna sit there and be a wallflower or are you gonna dance with the janitor?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Much respect to janitors and lunch ladies but not to this guy and his advice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 421: R “I’ve never been more ready to eat meals ready to eat!” “Let’s open a restaurant that’s called, ‘MREs Please’!” “It smells like a bad fart. Like a post-Super Bowl party fart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I might start cooking if I can just cook out of a box!” “That is the worst smell I’ve ever smelled!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-ab8f-61b1-7e083934ea8e"><span>GMMore: R “I have never punched you in the face but there are things that would cause me to do it.” L “Is this one of ‘em?” R “Putting black 38 year old applesauce into my face? Yes.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 422: R “I’m going to help you drive your wife crazy.” “You know what happens when Europeans start studying things? I start reading about it.” Okay, I’ve seen enough to know that you need science.” “I don’t wanna stop what’s in progress here.” “I like to say, ‘Would you like a little pa-pa-pasta with some ch-ch-ch-cheese? Mac & cheese, my friend. That’s what I’m talking about. Mac & cheese. I got some in my trunk over there on the other side of the parking lot. It’s for sale. Just letting you know about it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m gonna demonstrate my reproductive quality while dancing. That seems dangerous.” “I feel like at any moment something could pop and never go back.” “Yeah, I could feel her on the other side of the lenses just kinda clawing at me.” “I feel like thousands of people were put at risk by some of those moves I did.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “And then I brought him back to my women. And we prepared his flesh together and nourished ourselves for weeks on the flesh of an ox and it involved a lot of my left wrist and shoulder.” “I won in my heart.”</p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-3e2a-51dc-198a-5053aa1d2c8a">R “Our names were MC Scott and DJ Straw Beat.” [?] “I thought that people thought that we were really cool.”</span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 423: L “My kids will never smell a story fart.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Couldn’t go through a list without a couple of fart jokes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “We were livin’ on the edge in college, guys. A little caffeine, little sugar!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There will be a day where there’s not books...” R “I don’t believe that.” L “I don’t know, I believe that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The flathead is like the rescue screwdriver. That’s what I use it for. I rescue myself all the time with a flathead screwdriver. I’ll never give it up. You try to take it away, future! See what I do, FHS!” L “Eat that, future! I’m gonna be stockpiling flathead screwdrivers!” R “I’m gonna be the flathead man when the future rolls around. I’m gonna have a whole shed full of ‘em!”</span></p>
<p><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-e654-5d6c-f6719ceb37d1"><span>R “That’s gonna be the name of my store. ‘Flathead Action.’”</span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 424: L “Scooters make everything better.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (about French bathrooms->) “I’m a different person because of it.” “I found the best bathroom ever in France. ‘The Big Bad Momma Bathroom.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 425: L “My wife did this our first year of marriage a whole lot.” R “You mean at your head?” L “Yeah, she got mad at me and she’d throw a shoe.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-203a-cc30-ea11-19553e0a54ab"><span>R “I get gassy when I get nervous ‘cause I don't know what’s happening.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 426: R “I know my colleges.” L “It’s also community colleges.” R “Oh! That’s my specialty!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m a great guesser!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I think whenever you have to add ‘fighting’ in front of the name of your mascot, you’re compensating for something.” “Don’t put ‘fighting’ in front of your mascots, put ‘possessed’ in front of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The first time I remember a mascot, I remember thinking, ‘boy, that guy must be sweaty in there.’” “I thought it was cool. I wanted to be one, but I don’t fit in mascot outfits.” “A slug as big as a banana is a problem.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 427: R “This girl’s date was going to be a muppet until she killed it and made it into a dress.” L “Her hands are still bloody. Or those are just gloves.” R “Yeah, well, that’s the blood from the inside of a muppet-” L “Muppet blood gloves.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “But I do remember making a creative choice at some dance in college, it was Meredith College, where your wife went. Me and Gregg were going with two girls, I don’t remember who they are, but we decided to go-...I wore all white. We wore all white but with a gold [?] tie and cumberbuns. We called ourselves ‘The Golden Twins.’” “We should chaperone some people’s proms. We should make ourselves available to chaperone proms.” “You should see me in tails, then you’ll pay me ten grand.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I wonder what the pay would be. They pay you in punch? I don’t like punch.” “Celebrity chaperone.” “Rhett and Link: Professional Prom Chaperone Celebrities!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580b-c80f-ff44-2338bee4f9a0"><span>R “Don’t pull on my tails, though.” L “Don’t bump and grind me either, I’m a chaperone.” R “If you wanna pull on my tails and bump and grind, you gotta pay extra.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 428: L “When you can take a fact and you can ‘toid’ it, then it justifies spending ten minutes with us on the internet.” R “These are actually fact-roids, Link. They’re facts on steroids.” L “Cause they’re unnaturally strong.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A little stinky on my pinky from my belly button.” “I love a woman with a hairy belly button. Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-belly button. Put that on a t-shirt and don’t watch anyone buy it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “The belly button is a sensitive place. It’s not made to put trees in. I learned that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Your belly button is twice as big as mine.” R “Maybe three times the size. It’s a sign of intelligence.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-3750-b4c5-cf79-16f82a29429b">L “Thank you for everything, not just for buying our music. Thank you for everything, but especially for buying our music.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 429: L “I’m not talking about going on MayoClinic.com and self-diagnosing. I’m talking about real diagnosement, like-” R “Diagnosement?” L “Yeah, a real diagnosement. A prognosis.” R “I think you made up a word, but I don’t know.” L “It’s my show, I can make up a word!” R “It’s your show?!” L “You’re with me on this, man. It’s our show!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think we should join the Resistance. We’ll find the first guy, we’ll find the first bald black guy with glasses that don’t have sides-” L “And elect him mayor!” R “-and follow him!” L “Let’s name him ‘Resistance’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580c-1e7d-8502-e4989640d68c"><span>L “Let’s start a new series just called, ‘What did you watch?’ and half of the time is spent not being able to remember what we watched!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 430: R “Next time your friend says, ‘I’ll eat anywhere, I’ll eat anywhere, man. Take me anywhere and I’ll eat there,’ you say, ‘okay’ then you stay quiet. You drive to a dumpster. You’re like, ‘here we are. Let’s eat.’” “You can’t let people play mind games. You have to control them. Take control of the situation. Take them to a dumpster or take a nap. It’s foolproof.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-4aa3-0aab-5107-3433195bb915">GMMore: L “‘Hey, man. Wanna grab some dunch?’” “Well, the thing that we tell our kids is, you know, I was taught, ‘clean your plate,’ but the thing that we teach our kids is ‘listen to your body.’’” “When it comes to eating lunch or dinner or dunch, listen to your body. When it comes to dating relationships, don’t listen to your body.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 431: L “It’s good that one of us has an overly expressive face, I’ll own that and that’s not necessarily a great thing, and you have an underly expressive face.” R “Yeah, yeah. It’s a nice balance. Somewhere in the middle, there’s a good face.” L “Yeah. If we were only one person, we could make adequate faces for computers to understand.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 432: R “...I envision a time, as we get older, we transition out of this and we transition into sculpting…” “...we gotta drop one letter from the end of both of our names. I’ll still be ‘Rhet’ ‘cause I got two t’s to give. You’ll be ‘Lin.’ ‘Rhet and Lin’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Our name is ‘Linhett.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You think I’m making this up. I do wanna sculpt with you.” L “But first I have to put on a shirt that you’re already in.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You know a movie is a good movie, not when you watch the movie, but in the week…,certainly the days after you’ve watched the movie, how much your mind goes back to the movie. It’s when I realize that the best movies are the ones that I go back and I think about and I realize something, like, something new about the movie or upon further reflection, I’m rewarded by the movie.” “I love my job. This is a dream job. We have creative freedom out the zoowah!” “It’s just to the left of the wazoo.” “Anything involving heat scares me a little bit.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...when you start to let artwork into your life,..it makes you a-, it enhances, it makes you a better person, it makes you wanna rap about it. I find myself wanting to rap about art.” R “You wanna make some art raps? Artraps.com!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Let’s sculpt internet videos together, Link.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 433: L “I can hear you, but I still don’t know if you’re there.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Google ‘winner’ for me, Link. See if my picture comes up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Dang, look! I beat Clark Gable! Clark Gable’s number three, punk! Look at that!” L “Don’t toot your own horn, man. Let somebody else blow it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...I’ve set my Google to only return wrestlers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 434: L “How many monkeys does it take to come up with a half-a-million dollar name? A hundred!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Meat cubed. The meatloaf of the future.” “Marsyas. Now you can peel things like a Greek god.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Neckcape.” L “The one of a kind hairstyle for people who don’t want to show the back of their neck.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580c-6027-822a-53865589ab7c"><span>GMMore: L “Go Daddy was originally called, ‘Jomax Technologies.’” “Almost called it Big Daddy, but the URL was taken.” R “Oh, yeah, ‘cause I had it! You ain’t gonna get BigDaddy.com from me!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 435: Both singing: “Rhett and Link got the beat to make the booty go clap.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Look at that dragon spin. Look at that dragon DJ. He’s a dragon DJ.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I was really hoping that mayonnaise would make more noise.” “I want this music to just follow me around. When I want into a room, I want everybody to feel skweee’d.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You really got a schlagger on your hands!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 436: R “Eight to twelve chihuahua’s? I’m scared of that and I’m a big man!” L “So it is like a land piranha, like, it’s really small, it’s got vicious teeth, got an attitude.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “One turkey reportedly smashed through a double paned window of a home scaring the owners and their dog. This was the headline, I’m quoting. ‘Wayward turkey explodes through a window of Brookline home, escapes through the back.’” R “A turkey through a window? These turkeys are on something up there. These are meth turkeys.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is one of the reasons that I am glad that I live in North America. We don’t have attack monkeys.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580c-b27f-e3ac-46f9caa248f8"><span>GMMore: R “Canadians are so nice. Canadian geese got attitudes.” “I got drunk squirrels in my backyard. Partying all the time!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 437: L “I ain’t never had too much taco.” "At first it's like, 'oh okay, a marshmallow taco.' Then it's like, 'Ugh, if you wanna mail something maybe.'" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I think I've met my match." "Tastes like Christmas!" "Boy, if I ever get shipped somewhere for a long period of time, I know what I'm eating." "No, I tag you and then you get in there and you bring the pork blood and you put it on your face and you're like, 'Pork Blood Brothers!' Remember? We worked it all out, man!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 438: R “They got tents at McDonald’s? [?] happy meal. I gotta go to the Joshua Tree McDonald's!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Always check the freakin’ weather!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 439: R “Tincture is a prize.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’ve got the Herpes virus in my system, dude.” R “Yeah, you two. Herpes Simplex 2, right?” L “Well, it’s on my lip, whichever one that is.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m addicted to all types of lip moisturizer.” “If you can’t admit that garlic works, you discredit any other type of diagnoses.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580d-6982-fe1f-d651f3b5ccbd"><span>R “For warts, take garlic.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 440: L "Can we just talk about the poppy seed chicken casserole for the rest of the episode?" "Thank you my mom, Sue. I love you." "That's not true, Sue, mom, never called you Sue before. But I am now because that's how much I love you." "...Toyko"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "And my mom, Diane. I love you before he loves his mom." "And thank you to our wives who are also moms. My wife, who I love more than he loves his wife, who's also a mom. I'm getting more brownie points right now." "WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT?!" "For the rest of the existence of this show, anytime someone says 'Tokyo', I have to go "WHAAAT?!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 441 (mislabeled as #440): R “Yeah! I’m an expert at mom! I should have been a mom.” “Sorry moms everywhere.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You are incredibly annoying as a child. I’m glad you’re not my son.” L “I’m not arguing with that. The sad thing is I’m channeling what I was as a child.” R “Oh, boy. I’m glad we didn’t meet until we were six. I would have snuffed you out, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “...and I’m a great father. Question mark. Strikethrough.” R “Well, you know, I’m proud of her because she’s smart enough to figure out-she’s finally piecing it together what it means to have you as a father. It only took a decade.” L “She better be glad she’s got the mom she’s got because she’s got the dad she’s got.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 442: Craigslist caller “I ain’t never, I mean I ain’t knockin’ what you do, but I ain’t never been a big magic man.” L “That’s ‘cause you’ve never seen ‘Coney Island’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I miss home so much. Thank you, Craigslist. Thank you, Craig.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Well, I guess we’ve come to an impass.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580d-b09e-12b9-59b058d128f6"><span>L “I poked myself in the eye once. I was giving somebody directions.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 443: R “I was expecting a cryogenic chamber to be in a strip mall.” “And listen, there’s nothing under this robe except me.” "Nothing is awesome!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Experiencing nothing is really something.” “Maybe this is my Narnia...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 444: L “I think when Lincoln grows up, he wants to be Steve.” (talking about Minecraft)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Burro Schmidt was a futurist.” “What are you doing with your life? Are you digging?“ “What are you digging? Are you digging a hole for yourself or are you digging a tunnel through the mountains of life?” (Put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ccaa-0772-391d-c28e5e799446">GMMore: L “No man is an island. The wind follow me, so keep your distance.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 445: L “I’ve never looked at my feet and been tempted to take a photo of ‘em.” R “Well, that’s the difference between me and you and Kitty.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We have invented our own micro-blogging application. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s called ‘croaker.’ It’s a frog logo and every post is a croak.” R “You just connect your existing twitter to the croaker account and when you die, all your tweets become croaks.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m full of it.” L “Yeah, you can say that again.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I once rode the metro with Silver Man.” “I don’t delete anything ever. I’ve still got files from, like, ‘98.” “You are a deleter.” “Call me short-sighted.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-3684-f86e-b380-96b0cb4fa879">L “‘Never meet your heroes,’ that’s what they say.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 446: R “I don’t want to ‘Lady & The Tramp’ with you!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s like eating Easter morning or something...if the Easter Bunny crapped on a donut.” “Anything worth having is worth biting a lot to get to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 447: L “Hey guys. Let’s not get bogged down here. Let’s open a few brain windows.” “Let’s go to the vomit zone.” “Hey guys. Listen. We all know why we’re here. Let’s just straddle the freaking rocket, light the fuse, aim high, and winch, close your eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091f-94b1-3a69-ac28aa7b32c6">GMMore: L “When in Rome, does a bear crap in the woods?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 448: L “I’m the type of guy that when something happens, I’m like, ‘should I call 911?’ but I’ve never called 911.” R “I have.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580e-00f1-e2df-dab3b0d3d758"><span>R “I’m relatively quick to call 911.” “When you’ve got your heart set on chicken nuggets, you can’t settle for a Big Mac.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 449: L "What am I? The Pillsbury Doughboy?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "You really gotta get better at being a phone." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Hey, how are your fingers because know that must have hurt hitting my massive steeled chest."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 450: R “You’ve heard of jumping jacks. Why does Jack get all the credit? HUH?” “It’s one thing to just draw something out of the blue, but am I the inspiration for this demon cat?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (about the wheel) “What you don’t realize, guys, is that this thing right here weighs 1500 pounds and I’m just very strong.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0597-27f4-1d9e-652e85bee651">GMMore: L (reading) "Doctor, Mr McLaugh- oh, I just, I don't know wha-" </span>R “Doctor and Mrs. McLaughlin. Well, that might be a-, a lot of people see us that way! We’re married and I’m the doctor and he’s the Mrs.!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "W<span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-0c0b-2cb7-687b-e76e732f9335"><span>ho knew that heaven was gonna be lined with Korean candies? I now know that. The afterlife." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 451: L “But you’re not determining if I’m an animal.” R “Right, cause I already know that, to be the case.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I fake laugh at you all the time, man, to make you feel good.” “We’re not animals!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c7-e986-2a0f-d3f66acb6c7e">GMMore: R “What did the banana say to the apple?” L “I don’t know.” R “You peel me, bro?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 452: R “Turkey Guhrke. There’s no McGehrke. That’s me. I’m the McGehrke around here!” “The woman dies while the dude’s hibernating. What kind of marriage is this?” “Here’s to you, Turkey, and half of your life that you spent in bed!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I saw, something changed about my boys this weekend, you know. They became a little bit more of a man. They pooped outside and buried it and the problem is now, I can’ get ‘em to stop.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 453: R “That fox from now on will be called….’Rhett McFox’!” L “What about ‘Rhett McFoxlin?’” R “‘Rhett McFoxlin!’” L “Now I named him after you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “It’s just show biz, people. We share makeup. I mean, who we kiddin’. We can’t afford makeup for each of us so we use the same makeup.” “He eats apples with his eyes closed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Call me Rick or Brett, but don’t call me by my real name.” “If we’re really old, this’ll be good stuff.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Here’s the thing. One day I’m gonna die, and then you’re gonna play this video back, and once everybody agrees that it’s ‘Tootsie Roll’, you’re [gonna] say, ‘you know what? That Link. Too bad he’s gone because he’s been vanquished. He’s been vanquished!’” R “If that’s the only thing that you’re remembered for, for your improper pronunciation-” L “At my funeral, I want you to say that.” R “I’m going to play this tape at your funeral, and I’ma be like, ‘he was wrong about Tootsie.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Jason “Why do you think Link’s gonna die first?” L “I will, I will.” R “He’s more accident prone.” L “But it will be entertaining.” R “When you die?” L “Yep. That’s my final wish. Just, go out with a laugh.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 454: R “...I am really good at knowing when the microwave is going to go off.” “...I got ESP! Or else I have a really good biological clock.” L “You have a sense of how long a minute is.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you wanna live, you’ll like it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 455: R “I’m gonna have the best right foot on the beach!” “My dollar got me a tanned foot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580e-405e-858b-a7035a2da2d6"><span>GMMore: R “A lot of air going in and hair coming out!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 456: R “When you begin thinking about things in the bathroom, you begin thinking about infrastructure because you using infrastructure in that moment, ‘Where’s this stuff going?’ And then the next thing you know is, I’d like to know more about infrastructure, then you got a civil engineering degree.” “All because of a little cheese.” “I named a star after you.” “Linkstar.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Everything’s bigger in Texas, but when the women, due to pop culture, decide to downsize themselves, men Texans not happy.” “Oh, look at Tina’s girl, she is a SKANK!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 457: R "At age three, I was painting the walls of my bedroom with my own poop." "I'm like Poop Picasso!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 458 (mislabeled as #457): L “There’s nothing scarier than staring down the hole of a butter nozzle.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "This is a-matrixing."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 459: R “You know what happens when you get a cockroach in your throat, you go for it with a fork.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “When people are like ‘I don’t eat weird stuff,’ it makes me mad at ‘em. I’m just going to be honest with you. I’m just like, come on, live a little bit! You’ve got one life, you’ve got opportunities to eat stuff, just try some stuff!” (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/SarahAshour">Sarah (RiverMouse)</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-28ba-cf91-975b-05395d204a28">L “I’ve never licked a piece of charcoal.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 460: L “Derek Johnson wrote ‘stay smrat’ in my yearbook and he was not joking and it changed my life.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “No matter how old you get-” L “You’re never too old for a whoopee cushion.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you don’t find a whoopee cushion funny, then you need to reevaluate things. Reevaluate your life.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 461: R “Yo-Yo fusion 2014!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I feel like I could confess something that otherwise I would never say and that’s, okay, I am in love with me. I love myself.” “But I do love myself and I’m fine with that.” “I love me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R "I believe that there are few things in life that you should be careful how good you get at them. In no particular order, yo-yo-ing.” “Personally, for me and my family, I just don’t think the McLaughlins should be that good at magic.” “Miming. You can add that to the list. You shouldn’t be too good at miming either.” “It’s just in the McLaughlin family, we can’t be too good at magic, yo-yo-ing, juggling, or balloon animals. Just something my dad kinda instilled in me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 462: L “I really want to go to Niagara Falls especially after learning all the things I’ve learned about these survival stories.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I found it very interesting that when you think of a daredevil, you think of some stupid guy on a motorcycle. You don’t think of a 63 year old guy schoolteacher from Michigan in a barrel.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I like adventure and I like to be scared and know that I’m okay, but I don’t like to do things where there’s a significant chance that I’m going to get hurt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 463: L "The funny thing was, I went to the optometrist just to get a routine eye exam, did not think I needed glasses at all, and at the end he was like, 'You need some glasses' and tears formed in my eyes, like...honestly, I had an emotional reaction-" R "Your eyes were defending themselves." L "-and I just, I felt like a part of me has died or I'm coming to grips with getting older. I didn't know what it was, but I had an unexpected emotional reaction..."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is like the evolution of Link's glasses. It's kinda like 'The Evolution of Robin Thicke' album. My wife and I listen to that quite a bit. We're big Robin Thicke fans."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You know me, I wanna make a statement!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "If your face is bigger than your head, you got problems." "These glasses, to me, feel like, 'I wear glasses as a fashion statement.' This person says, 'I wear glasses because I need glasses.'" "It looks like something that the sun would wear if the sun wore sunglasses."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I like being a guy who walks down the street, it's like, 'oh, look at that guy's glasses.'" </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 464: R “I’ve been thought to be 80 before by really short people.” “This is why I’m always careful when I walk in front of a fence. People all think I’m a pigeon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I don't lie, I just verbally elude."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 465: R “You’ve embarrassed yourself a few times on a mountain bike. If you take this thing out on the trail, you’ll be the man. Look at that guy with the million dollar mountain bike! Even you would be really cool with that thing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Are you jealous of my shirt?” R “I’m upset with the shirt gods. Yes, I’m jealous of your shirt. It’s beautiful.” L “Thanks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Sometimes when I get angry, I just say ‘donkey!’” “So then I tried to get in on that and so, I would tell Lando, I’d be like, ‘I love you, Lando,’ and he’ll say, ‘I love mom more than she loves me.’ That’s the first thing he says. I’m like, ‘well. I love you more than you love me.’ And then he’ll say, ‘it’s possible.’” “He’s just being honest. He loves his mom more than he loves me. I mean, she’s a wonderful person, she’s with him all the time. She makes his life a living awesome. What do I do? I just show up occasionally and I’m weird.” “I love me more than most people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Whoa. Smells like an aquarium in there.” L “Hot chili squid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hot chip chick.” R “We need some hot chip chicks on our bags.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-7236-c51c-e4fd-04fca3f92c66"><span>R “I am a grandfather as a dad. I’ve skipped straight to that.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 466: L “It’s like she was calling a kitten? Frigga, frigga, frigga.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I don’t run back from taking the trash out, but if I watch a horror movie by myself, but then I’m home alone, that’s a problem, you know. I get scared, man.” “Oh, the nipple rub, I’ve never seen that.” “That’s a funny name for a superhero, ‘Dark Streak.’ Just a guy with a dark streak in his pants.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2cf-53f6-751b-0453a424a6d6">L “Sometimes when Christy and I are in a fight and then I have to go work or something, I’m like, ‘what if this is the last time you see me?’ I play that card. If it’s a minor fight, I do it as a joke.” “His catchphrase is ‘This may be the last time you see me.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 467: R “I wanna play one-on-one against my guy. Yeah, I haven’t played basketball in years, but I wanna play one-on-one against my perfect match.” “We’re gonna get to know each other over enchiladas and I’ll be like, ‘you wanna play one-on-one?’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I make some good human ribs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I think the dry rub should be made from human fingernail shavings.” "A little Terrance and Cindy sausage." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 468: R “I opened it with a fork! I’m like a pro! And then you eat it with a fork!” “Own it, Neal!” (and variation). “Want an orange soda? Let me grab a Yo-Yo.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Man alive, I want to get to that!” “You know you getting close when it starts to hiss at ya!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We’re not good at a lot of things.” “I have the hands of an internetainer, you know. I don’t have the hands of a farmer.” “My mom watches everyday, and she tells my dad about it. That’s how my dad watches. He gets a full report from my mom.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is what we do for you guys. We soil ourselves on the internet.” “I got a friend with a capper.” “I feel so dirty on the outside. I feel very clean on the inside.” “You can also open a bottle with a choo-choo horn.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 469: R "I can also say, no joke, my wife has been diagnosed with OCD and this is something she struggled with her entire life..."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...literally, on a weekly basis, I have to make a decision to de-pucker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "My anus is tight." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 470: L “Livin’ the dream. Thank you for making us a part of your daily routine!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (singing) “Megan and Nate. You’re great. You sent us a pizza plank.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 471: R “Getting a little morbid on GMM today. ‘Good Mythical Morbid.’’</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t assassinate your own mom! There’s no excuse for that!” “...never bring a candlestick to an axe fight.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-7239-2f8f-6dee-bc7b30f0beae"><br/> <span>GMM 472: R “What has Britney done for me lately?” “The Rock’s a wrestler and a movie star! That’s my dream!” “Who’s the most famous person on ‘Good Mythical Morning’?...Me.” “What am I gonna do with this newfound fame?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 473: R “If you’re cool, you go to the pool.” “And you go to the pool to get cool.” “It’s like a freaking waterfall right in my buttcrack.” “The Pirt, with butt leak.” “Not getting fresh with you, I’m just trying to plug it with my finger. And I’m talking about pool.” “You look like a Pokemon.” “Come on, man, let’s be creepy together.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Going into baby maker.” “Never put a garden hose down my pants, but I will do it again.” “My candy’s not creepy, I’m sorry, but my van is creepy!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Rhett gets to model the capri pants. That’s what you get in ‘Good Mythical More,’ people.” “I conveniently have some shades, previously worn by the sun.” “It was Maleficent and it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t magnificent but it wasn’t mal deficient either.” “Um, yeah….and he’s animated.” “No drinks, no candy, no complaints.” “That might as well have been the name of the candy store: ‘Buy your candy here and stuff it down your pants. Go to the movies.’” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-158f-2a67-6fc8-e8e0193d39ab">R “or at least, the California Raisins.” “It’s not Maleficient?” “Is Brad Pitt in it?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 474: L (about Lego mug) “87. I love this mug. I don’t care if it kills me. Matter of fact, the fact that it could kill me? It put it over the edge.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (Unicorn mug) “I’m going to give this one a 95.” “You come in and I’ve got this on my desk? You’re like-” L “Yeah, I think some things.” R “This guys knows what’s what!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 475: L “ I was faced with a choice and my choice was to say, ‘I have dietary restrictions and so does my wife.’ That’s what I said. I wanted to take my coffee in so badly, I said that we had dietary restrictions. I’m not proud of it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Ah, green. That's gotta look good with my eyes. It's a pretty green, you think my eyes are that pretty?" Yen: “Yea.” “...we are retiring the Mythical Mail Boulder next week.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "My boogers taste like pears!" “First of all, I just had ‘Lawn Clippings’ and I’m not complaining.” “My mom used to say, ‘that’s a dead pole cat!’” “I want to taste a skunk so bad now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Every employee of Rhett and Link, that’s me and him, have to gargle with peroxide at least once a week.” “Hm. Tootie Frootie.” “It is uncanny how good they are at making these things horrible!” “It’s like eating soap, which of course, we’ve done before.” “You don’t have to swear, man. Your word is your bond, man."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 476: R “I love everybody, Randy.” “Randy Hardy, I love you.” L “I don’t know you but I love you.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m gonna meet this person that looks like me and acts like me and become my best friend, they’re gonna become my best friend. They’re gonna replace you.” L “I can rock all alone. That’s fine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I know I look like the kind of guy that’s into police memorabilia and I am.” “I do three types of videos: patches videos, icon videos, and badges videos. The badges one gets lots of views.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40ca-5f26-2770-cfc8a84952f9">*GMMore cut short because of VidCon</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p>GMM 477: R “There’s nothing like taking a leak off a cliff.” “I’d be willing to sit next to feces for seven hours for a good drink.” </p>
<p>GMMore: L “I’m like a rugged outdoorsman now.”</p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 478: R “When stuff that’s supposed to be outside starts happening inside, that’s when I’m like, ‘I’m into that!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like they brought the beach to you!” “...I would love to have the beach in my living room.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “So, it goes to show you can do stupid stuff and still end up being a doctor!”</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 479: R “Welcome to the internet!” “I think that might be the key to yodeling, is you gotta take one of your teeth and you gotta push it back half an inch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Burping from your lungs is called breathing.”</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 480: R “Today we say goodbye to the Mythical Mail Boulder.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We have decided to immortalize our Mythical Mail Boulder-” R “Your Mythical Mail Boulder!” L “Presenting to you, here we go, the bronzed Mythical Mail Boulder!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This represents what we can create together.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 481: R “I guess I will blow up the studio!”</p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-7cae-2d65-1e07-a9a8c9d4081e"><span>*No GMMore</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p><strong>SEASON SIX </strong></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-7caf-0dff-e7ce-21225160e2db">GMM 482: L “Did you take up with another internet talk show?” R “I did. Yeah, I got another one I’ve been watching..” L “Well, call them immediately and break up ‘cause we’re back and this is it, okay, so let’s do this!”</span></p>
<p><span>GMMore: L "I just found myself watering these plants and after a few days, I was conversing with the plants, like, 'hey, does this feel good to you?' kind of a thing." </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 483: Eddie “The next one is ‘HHWW.’’ R “Okay, I think I’m pretty sure I’m right about this. ‘Heavy Hungry White Women.’” Eddie “The answer’s ‘Holding Hands While Walking’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R "Baby, I'm sure-" L "Larry yawned." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "BLD? Blonde, long-legged dame." R "Big, loud Doug." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Bowel movement under stairs. Sometimes, you gotta go and you gotta find some stairs!" </span>"Don't let the boys bring beer." "EOK, everything's okay." "Even my father built isthmuses." "That's what FBI stands for. For busting in." “Forget the beer, only make hot dogs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Does knowledge dictate command?’ It’s the question we all want to know.” “When in doubt, put it in the glossary.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Dark night, dirty car." L "What is it?" R "It's Batman."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Every male forgets birthdays-” R ”Intermittently.”</span></p>
<p><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-8048-16be-cf6a-9ae1980bd4fb"><span>Both, back and forth: “Backwoods thoughts do take generally twice the sacrifice as whole intact observations.”</span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 484: R “Throw that thing away! Be yourself, Link! Let your lip out! Bring your lip to the world and say, world, my lip may be nasty.-” <span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-8047-a62f-29ea-6e78c9c798d7">“Kiss him virtually while he’s talking.”</span> “I’m a big fan of vending machines because you know I’m a compulsive spender.” “Fun fake fact. FFF.”</p>
<p>R “You know what? Embrace Link. Virtually kiss your screen right now. Kiss him right on his nasty lip. Take your phone or your computer and just kiss the screen right now.” Link: “I wouldn’t go that far.” R "Pucker up! Pucker up! Let ‘em kiss you! They need to accept you!” (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Pheasphant">Grace (Pheasphant)</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If I were to kiss someone, I would transmit this to them and it would be in your system forever. So what happened was, I got too much sun on my lips, and then it just kinda broke out.” “I haven’t had a break-out this bad since middle school.” “Uncrustadol.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c8-381c-aaed-cb90c76a99b0">R “That’s one of the many reasons I’ve never kissed you on the lips.” “I took ‘Lipishere’ and that’s why I come to the park with my buddy. He’s unashamed to be with me.” “You just said ‘uncrustedhole.” “My mouth is an uncrustedhole.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 485: L “I’ve worn a speedo at the beach. Should you?” “We will call it the Mythical Mail Susan.” “When it comes to farts, there’s only one for me and it involves lots of cardboard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “The thong is never acceptable for a man under any circumstances on the beach.” “There was a bubble that came out of your left nostril and I saw it. I saw it perfectly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2a98-709b-6719-2be6e6551d91">GMMore: R “I could drown myself in peas.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 486: R “Because of you, I have to talk about this diseased lip over here!” “If you come down from the tree, we can go get some weeds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “By the way, if you’re bird-blind, Rhett’s shirt doesn’t have anything on it.” “Click through to Good Mythical More, wanna find out who famous is that are color-blindness?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0597-8cd4-8440-cb13fbd3173e">GMMore: R “I can only think about the Plant kingdom right now. Does it have to be a plant? WEEDS.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 487: L "A costume a superhero does not make, but a superhero must make a costume."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And I think it’s ‘Just Us League’.” “It’s very exclusive.” R “Yeah, it’s just us. We’re just normal guys with superpowers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wish that we could be like a superhero team!” L “You know that’s right!” R “Like, me and you...Night-Link and Night-Rhett, we should really make that into a thing!” L “Surprise me!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I am so proud that we designed a shoe.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Gray is my favorite color because it acknowledges the mystery in the Universe, you know?” (submitted by</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/AkviA"><span>Alli (gator)</span></a><span>)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span>R "If there's grass, there's gonna be people on it in California."</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-8078-7047-16d4-600b89d59e5c"><span>L “Tomorrow, we are releasing the most music of videos that we’ve released in the past month. New music video. It’s called ‘I’m On Vacation.’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 488: L “Just because it’s see-through doesn’t mean you should.” “I thought this game was going to be fun.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I lost a shoe!” “Don’t get attached because I will be unattaching it, well, no, I’ll probably donate it to a thrift store, guys, I’m not going to wear a woman’s top.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t drive by fast-food places.” “You’re such a consumer!” “You showed me a picture online, you were like, ‘look at what I ate!’!” “All pizza’s great, but all pizza’s not equal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2377-74dc-7612-feb757ab1a38">R “I almost said, ‘You’re letting the heat out!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 489: R “Don’t go outside, just watch this show!” "Don't turn him into a dead woman." "I would be afraid to walk around there because when I see something like that, there is this impulse within me, this little boy impulse, to just break it. You know what I'm saying? I just want to run into it and mess it up." "I think you really ground that one into the sand." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You know you got a big sand castle when you can sit on it and it does nothing to it.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...I do think if I were Batman, I would punch Hulk in the face if he was giving me a wedgie like that.” R “No, Hulk has just got his blankie.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We love Weird Al, but let’s dethrone him.” “This is window-shaking, trunk-shaking bass opportunity here that we’ve given you with this song.” "I can't help but lie to little kids, I'm sorry."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Learn from us, budding filmmakers."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is like Santa Claus, who's real, by the way." L "And he's really fat when you do him in the sand." (laughs) “When you sculpt him out of sand, he’s large.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 490: R “The dingleberries from that thing will definitely glow.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 491: R “This is GOOD Mythical Morning, not BAD Mythical Morning.” “If this thing explodes tomorrow and it’s the full scale eruption, then you know what we’re going to do, we’re going to go to, we’ll see you in Disney World, we’ll have on cross-country skis, and we’ll all make a post-apocalyptic movie together. It’ll be a great gathering of mythical beasts.” “This is who can be more dainty. Didn’t you read the instructions? I win.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If you see the lava, don’t run towards it. You’re going to want to, but don’t.” “We’ll have selling ash because that’s going to be our job.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Well, if you want to break a husband, take him to Ikea. One time will do it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you just throw your kid on the ground with a sleeping bag, everything up after that point is an improvement.” “I have dismounted and mounted so many things this past weekend, you would not believe it. It’s like I’m a taxidermist.” "Are you sure about that? Is that exist?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-158f-a239-87c1-f7e2580a1521">R “I woke up, I didn’t fix my hair, I just had my underwear on, and I just said, ‘Where are the tools?’, and I went around like a half-naked caveman fixing stuff in my house all day. And then we went on a date. She was happy, man. She was so happy. All the stuff got done." L </span>"Dudn't take much, when you're married to you, I guess."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 492: L “I don’t like spiders, I don’t like snakes and uh, I don’t like, uh, I don’t like snakes.” “This was stupid.” (the wheel falls on Link)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link, you know what you are? You’re the Serpent King.” (w/ crew->) “You can do it, Serpent King.” “Did you forget how to hold hands?" “The Serpent King’s hair is a good place to lay snake eggs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I will call him Herb and that one too.” “Herb 2 and Herb 3.” “I’ll be the Serpent Prince.” “The most dangerous thing that happened on the entire episode was the wheel.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4485-e0c2-e659-7dc129d3abe9">L “"I'd like a little concern for me! 'Are you okay, Link?' 'How is your heart?'"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 493: L "We know the answer to this one." “This is the best day of my life.” “We’ve healthed ourselves.” “Now, here at ‘Good Mythical Morning,’ if something is labeled non-toxic, you might as well label it, ‘Eat it on Good Mythical Morning.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You can catch me alone late at night...watching late-night programming with my cheese ice cream sandwich.” “Health yourself.” “It tastes like eating the bottom of a hamster cage.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 494: R “If you’re a teen girl named Cheryl, please comment on this episode!” “‘Donut.’ There’s an ‘L’ in it, right? Oh, there’s not an ‘L’. Sorry.” “I’m ready to speak to the world.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m growing concerned that if you apply my steps, you’re gonna become the weirdest teenager on the planet, especially if you’re in your mid-30s.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “He can’t say ‘Channing Tatum.’” “How do you normally say it?” R “Chanum Taten.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-862e-cc7e-dee6-8ed1239a81f7"><span>GMMore: R "...you're tall. Don't be afraid of it, man. Stand up straight, open your little mouth, and speak." "Let's all just be ourselves and not be ashamed of it." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-862e-cc7e-dee6-8ed1239a81f7"><span>R “My voice doesn’t ever get caught in somebody’s shirt. Never happened. It always at least goes over their shoulder.” L “A shirt will catch a voice, though.” R “You know that’s how voice works. It goes out like a laser.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 495: R “There is no area of your life that we are not willing to speak wisdom into.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That always happens to me when I pee in the ocean: my eyes cross a little bit.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 496: - R "Don't touch the nacho that’s not your nacho.” "I'm saying I've studied humans long enough to know if you wait ten minutes for anything, they've forgotten it and moved on." "I kissed you through glass, does that count?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Nachos are for sharing." (-> shirt) "You must never take someone else's fry unless they offer." "You must never ask to take someone's fry unless you've been in a relationship that's been established for at least 6 months." "I will propose that the only rule for sharing ice cream needs to be: If you're not willing to make out with this person, you shouldn't share ice cream with them."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 497: R “School is fun. Getting smart is fun, kids.” “I ain’t scared of that danish!” “That was my nickname in high school. Macro McLaughlin.” “Fun semi-related fact. I like the way you think, Link.” “Brontosaurus make thunder with feet.” “Did you hear about Cathy? She’s so phobia.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You ever try to poop in tight jeans?” L “Yes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Fun fact: snakes do not have knees.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We have a friend who has a phobia of lettuce…she cannot think about lettuce.” “She hasn’t touched lettuce in ten years.” “I think Christy has a huge crush on Keith Urban.” “If you had to be afraid of one thing, what would it be?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-68e8-2b05-4f86-7121629804e6">R “Oh, that explains a lot. (laughs)” “I think people sometimes assume things because it makes them interesting to talk about.” “Talking. ‘Uh, don’t talk, I’m afraid of talking.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 498: R “I take a crap on crime.” “We can be like a trio. We can be three best friends. We can let Daniel into our best friend club. It’s been closed for thirty something years. It’s time to open it up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “When I’m in the friend zone… I just bowl right through the friend zone.” “She also did say, ‘I like Link.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a4ba-3c8d-d19f-2b0296a81786">L “You did that as if you were sponsored by your beard.” “All of a sudden, this became a commercial for your beard?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 499: R “It’s also my next workout DVD. It’s called ‘Barrel Roll with Rhett.’” “You got ‘NeverWet’ on your hair?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Trunk optional. Trunks optional.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Do you like dirty men?” “I’m not good with animals or humans.” "He gave you a bigger dookie than me, he likes you better." "It's better to be a mythical beast than being an intern." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Meaning, if you ask to be an intern at Rhett&Link, Inc., you don’t get to be one.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 500: R “Five hundred beans in a minute! I’m the bean king!” “Some really great stunt work, Link. Might have a future in that!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “When we started this show, we certainly didn’t think that we had five hundred in us.” “I think we thought that we had five hundred in us, but that you didn’t have an appetite for five hundred.” “Like five hundred episodes of this, we’re not even people anymore. We’re muppets, and we’re fine with that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-26f3-caba-9fec-59fcda17b06d">R “When we first started this show, there were a lot of comments about, like, ‘what are you guys-why are you guys doing this? Like, ‘what is the-why are you doing this.” Like, ‘this is not a good thing.’” “We did run out of just whatever we happened to be talking about that day becoming the episode. You can’t do that five hundred times in a row.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 501: L “...You and everybody else says I look like Garth from ‘Wayne’s World’!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I don’t like pain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 502: R “What would you choose if you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, you had to do it for like fifteen years?” … L “I’m going with cereal. I already eat it every morning for breakfast and every couple of days, I eat it for dinner too. I might as well just eat it for lunch-” R “But you have to choose a cereal.” L “I’m about halfway there!”... “I’ll choose Frosted Mini-Wheats...” ....R “Don’t eat the maxi ones. Stay away from those!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...I would go with beans..” “...they give you the musical farts, which we could always use more of those.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Even when it doesn’t impact you, there’s just something frustrating about seeing somebody limit themselves.” “It’s just like, if you meet somebody and they’re like, ‘I’ve never left my house,’ and you don’t even know ‘em.” “I would just like to take you and just drag you out of your house. I have this overwhelming desire to do that.” “I think I should be a tour guide to people who are leaving their homes for the first time ever. It’s like, if you know of a person who’s never left their home, or never left the county, call me and I’m gonna take them around.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like the opposite of love is indifference, not hate.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 503: R “Ain’t no deadbeat seahorse dad!” “Well, I took what could have been a very awkward moment and turned it into a duet. That’s what you get to do when you move at the speed of a sea anemone. You should try it sometime!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Channeling my inner seahorse. Turns out it’s pretty frustrating to be a seahorse.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9653-ab10-31d7-6bd8385b8eaa"><span>GMMore: L “...they were like, ‘don’t let your art delay me from getting to see my movie!’” “I think you’re watching one of our other ‘Good Mythical Morning’ episodes.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 504: L “Sharks, known at my home as the goats of the sea, are the topic of today’s episode.” R "You have an interesting home."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Float-A-Farm." (fake Kickstarter)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Thanks for swimming your way down to the comments and leaving one. Also, you can swallow that like button.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Yeah, just be quiet." L "BUT I HAVE SO MUCH GOOD STUFF TO SAY! GOSH, NO!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You think they’re sharked out at this point?” R "No, you can't be."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I have never experienced Shark Week." R "Yeah, 'cause you've never had cable." L "I know, it's-" R "Sad." L "Well, it’s a commentary on adsense.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "That's a load of bull shark."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 505: R “Parachute from space into the pool in the backyard and emerge from the water in a tuxedo sprayed in NeverWet!” L “That’s great! It’s like, ‘why is he so dry? He’s like James Bond, but he’s dry so he’s Dry Bond!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 506: L “I like it when somebody says, ‘I like your boots’. That’s why I wear boots all the time!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link. Sometimes I’m blown away at how quickly you can grow a moustache. You should enter a contest or something.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9654-2f72-ddb2-a79f1ab59ffe"><span>GMMore: R “Irony makes the world go round!” “I do like things. I do like shiny things and stimulating conversation.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 507: L “Please just be happy, everyone.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091e-4d2d-9e4a-75e2f1d8c1ba">GMMore:</span> L “For every one thing that you can make, in that same amount of time, you can criticize everything that’s been made. Theory, depending on what it is that’s being made. If it’s a sandwich, well, probably not.” R “But see, we’re not talking about sandwiches, we're talking about history.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Cheers to you for being a critical thinker and a valuable viewer and if I had to choose one, I would go with b. If you have to be only one, be a viewer.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 508: R “I can’t smell you though. You’re downwind.” “Well, I don’t know how much I trust you, but I sure do trust Kevin.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It could be your beard. I don’t know what I’m smelling.” “You’re uglier this close.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0597-e84b-e87e-16c91dc68f67">GMMore: </span>R "In many ancient cultures, like in the stone age times, the way that you would show extreme trust is to basically get naked before someone and they would grab you. They would grab your nether regions." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 509: L “I wanna hit you between the eyes with the sadness of the drought. The earth is just creaking with dryness." “Stand in my garden, girl.” “Can somebody say, PRENUP?” “There are lots of reasons the chinese dragons dance. Ask me how.” (t-shirt) (& “Ask me what they are.”) “Ask me about naked farming.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Ask me what the ladies in Uttar Pradesh India do when they want it to rain.” (t-shirt) “Go naked but wear boots.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You can waste a lot of money on drinks, man.” “Here’s another fun fact: I did not drink water until college.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe8-db14-2751-b353e8a07b5c">R “Sky juice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 510: L “Be friends with Andrea! It’s not too late, Andrea! We can still be friends!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “In high school, he was already an Olympian!” “I played actual sports, he played brain sports!” “If you turn into a mer-lion, I would celebrate that. I gotta say. If there was a way for you to be half mermaid, half lion, half Link, maybe a third each-.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9654-68b0-a632-b21b6d6d2ee5"><span>R “You used your brain today, already, at least three or four times!” L “Right, I am still an Olympian.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 511: L “Winklepicker. How do you pick a winkle?” “Now, I frequently middelfart. I’m just going to be honest.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Who would you like to harm, Master Link?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0fc7-9f5b-d923-7557b94ad60f">GMMore: L “I’m not afraid to show my ignorance.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 512: R “Where ya from?” L “I don’t even know because you’re staring right through my soul and it’s making me uncomfortable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I went to a movie by myself, I’m not proud of it, but I did, and a whole family of eight came in and their kid sat right next to me.” “I don’t like smelling people in general.” “Did you see Sally today?” “Are you Sally?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We should make a horror movie called ‘Grass.’ No.” R “It’s a documentary.” “Fart alker.” “Go and be golden.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8297-9c95-4984-e21d8de172b3">R “If I had another child and it was a girl, I would name her Sally.” “Your face is like Velcro.” “There’s a far talker out there.” “I’m a fart alker because I fart when I talk and I get far away from people so they can’t smell ‘em.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 513: R “IT MAKES BARBEQUE SAUCE! JELLO AND SMOKE IS BARBEQUE SAUCE!” “That was the most intense dry-heave in the history of ‘Good Mythical Morning.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I thought it was literally smoke sitting there.” “I think we’ve learned that if you put something that smells nasty under your nose and then put something different nasty in your mouth, nasty plus nasty equals nasty, and I’m not talking about the town in London.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 514: L "I thought that 'Single Ladies' was' All the Pringle Haters.'" "Meow sucks." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R (as a cat) Meows, purrs. "Hey, I trust you guys." "Is that a dental teaching tool? Oh, I'm so scared of dental teaching dogs!" "You're good with my tail. You're better than I am with my tail. Weird." "I'm putting my smell on you." "I used to be a lot more nimble." "You own me. Oh gosh. I own you." "Thanks for pulling all the milk out of this episode that you possibly can." "You hear about green?" "Green. It's the new thing." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "See? I'm a cat whisperer." "I'm preaching to myself, 'you're so good with cats.'" "Cat whisperer. I'm great with cats." "Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "When somebody says something you don't believe, you say it's fuzz-mustard." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's funny, Link." L "Thank you."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 515: L "Like a bird on a rhino, you guys are watching us on the internet." "But if a girl were to wink at me back in the time when I was a-vailable, then I would have been e-xcited." "If anyone ever looks at you, just assume that they like you."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I think I can handle a wink from 20 feet. If I can see your face and you wink at me, it counts." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Hey girl. Are you related to Yoda? 'Cause yodalicious." "Hey girl. Hey girl. Yo. Sweet thang. Girl, girl. Girl, girl." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I like hot stuff but this isn't even fun." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 516: L "There are 156,179 women in the United States named Agnes and I'm positive all of them are incredibly nice women." "Snore. I just spilled hot tea on my knickers!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Chitty-faced." R "Better watch how you say that, Dick Van Dyke." "Twiddle-diddles are so Rhett! What?!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Hey" R "Rhett" L "and" R "Link" L "here." R "Sorry" L "we" R "missed" L "you." R "We're" L "somewhere" R "and" L "you're" R "not."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Spoilerer alert." L "Spoilerer." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 517: L “I think that fingernails are one of the most awesome parts of the human body.” “Show me a rock climber without nails and I’ll show you a dead rock climber!” “She killed herself picking something out of her ear.” “I can’t even look directly at you because you are perfect.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t care what you do to a pinky toe, you can’t make it look good.” “It’s like the nail that couldn’t.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Looking at nails just opened me up to a world of happy.” “And I looked down at it and I said, ‘Come hither, I need band-aid.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe9-3232-b4d1-b27a5d1dd3b8">R (making fun of L) “And ya know what, that would have been horrible because I personally believe that the fingernail’s one of the most important body parts, and if you lose that, you’ve lost your soul.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 518: L “I can see how I could be someone’s dad-mom after that.” “Everything under this robe is 100% man.” “I just went from ‘Sons of Anarchy’ to ‘Sims’ character.” “I’m gonna create another orifice in your body with a fire poker.” “I’ve no depth perception.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Hey, you wanna sofa?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I secretly would love to have, like, a sleeve of tattoos.” “Are you asking me if I’m gonna pull a ‘Shane Dawson’?” "Why don't you grow wings and fly up my butt?" “I will say on a bi-monthly basis, I look at myself in the mirror and I’m like, ‘It’s time for a change.’” “I’ve never fought anybody in my life, even mentally.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-6202-5bd1-eceb-610bf0cf2053">R “Maybe I’ll grow wings and shave my beard.” “You’re the worst insulter I’ve ever heard in my life.” “I’d like to see you and Shane Dawson fight.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 519: L “Now, she’ll say anything, right?” Hannah “Yeah, she does seem really hip, cool, and with it.” L “And pantsless at times.” Hannah “Only in my dreams.” R “Oh.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I see women as quote-worthy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s, like, the married man’s version. ‘That’s what she expected.’” “We’ll swallow pennies in a taco if we have to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40ca-b4f2-e367-39847278fd3a">L “Who reads a cookbook, a recipe book on the toilet?” R “It’s pretty much my number one thing, guys.” L “It should be your number two thing.” Hannah “Oh! That’s what she expected.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 520: R “Gimme some tattoo right there, Mr. tattoo man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I thought Pikachu was in a skin tight yellow suit.” R “I think he’s just an animal, a naked animal.” L “There’s a zipper on the back.” R “Really?” L “Just look closely.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "I can't tell where that woman starts and the dog stops!"</p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 370-521tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-02-06:2452419:BlogPost:21142962016-02-06T03:30:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Feb 5 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a></strong>, <strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, …</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Feb 5 2016)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a></strong>, <strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-episodes-401-present" target="_blank">GMM 187-369</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 668-815</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 816-968</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 969-1051</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-1052-current" target="_blank">GMM 1052-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 370: L “Awkwardness is almost a state of mind. Decide what you’re going to do and do it. Don’t waffle around.” “We do not condone this hot Santa or these Thor glasses.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2ce-4685-de3a-c5124d02fd82">GMMore: L “Custom made desk here. Perfect height, perfect width, exactly what we need ever since The Mythical Show..." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2ce-4685-de3a-c5124d02fd82">"</span>That was a fun adventure. Kinda scary, adrenaline, body odor.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2ce-4685-de3a-c5124d02fd82">L (reading->) "Dear Rhett & Link, I am delighted to say that I have finished reviewing the attached first two chapters of 'The Dream Walker'..." R "That was my nickname in high school."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 371: R "We will never get into culinary school." </p>
<p dir="ltr">Jason: “Rhett is the meat master.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Kangaroos are known to stink.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe6-597b-8edf-9ef642286495">R “Wake up and smell the wild boar!” (L - put that on a t-shirt)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 372: R “I. Am. Hawkman.” “Happy Birthday, Hawkman!” “Not only do I think Hawkman is the best superhero ever, I believe strongly that a Hawkman movie could be the best superhero movie of all time.” “When you really want to get people’s attention, you go into the cone.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If I get to wear eye makeup in a movie, I will do it for free.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 373: <span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe6-a43a-a346-64dce1f7ce84">Locke: “You’re kinda being a wimp if you think they hurt.” “In my house, we can’t shoot inside, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Ohh, in the ball.” “I ate 3 darts.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We’re going to be pelted with American girls.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 374: L “I could take a nap right here, right now.” “But he has an excuse, he’s 3. I’m don’t. I’m not homeless.” “That was like a pig choking on pork.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You sound like a pig choking on pork.” (t-shirt saying idea) “You’re just a guy that likes a siesta.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “My wife hates this, but every so often, I put a couple of pillows in between us. Cause she’s so cuddly.” “You should start your own YouTube channel: ‘Link Sleeps.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You need to build a larger enclosure. Or a moat.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 375: R “Let me bite your fingernails.” L “No.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “There’s only one thing worse than having a co-worker that uses incorrect grammar and that’s being the co-worker that constantly corrects their grammar. I mean, that is annoying, I’m just saying, unless you work in the English department of a school, then you can correct them all you want.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b6-019f-5837-c609b1af71cf">GMMore: L “You gonna don the sequins and you’re gonna go get some shaboo shaboo?” “You got a pretty neck, but let’s put some hair around it.” “Alright, Sabrina. Let your hair down, say yes.” “Don’t go stag to the prom. We learned from that, then we took dates.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 376: L (about Sam->) "Don't hold it against him, teachers. He has two weird dads and we don't know what to do with him." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Isn't Beyonce the queen?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 377: R “Always mug a man that's makin' jazz hands.” "We’ve got a tumblr and we retumble things that you tumble because we’re really into tumblr…"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 378: L “I just like to have friends. Can I make a friend because I have a Russian fact?” “So if we balled Russia up, it can be a planet.” “What did the elbow say to the pasta? We’re both pasta!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “It pisses me off when somebody walks in my house with sock, sweats. What is it, movie night, family, slumber party?” “I’m smelling a stereotypical stink here.” “I love when women carry heavy things. That’s just me, personally. It’s just sexy, man.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 379: L “...cause swans make geese, right?” R “Swans make other swans unless there’s something wrong with them.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Was there a Valentine’s Day that you ever forgot while dating? No! Was there a Valentine’s Day you forgot while married? Heck yes! It’s just a reality.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 380: L “I just feel like my masculinity just is drained from my body as I enter the Panera. I don’t know, it’s like, it’s a woman’s lair. You know, there’s breads and stuff being baked and it seems like, ‘I shouldn’t be here.’” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...I’m saying women love Panera and when I’m there, I wanna have an excuse, but I do like it.” R “You feel like a woman, yeah.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “My mom subscribes to People magazine and I read the heck out of the thing when I go back home for the holidays.” L “Do you read it in the bathroom secretly?” R “No, I read it openly in front of my family but that’s because they’ve accepted me for who I am.” L “And who are?” R “A man who like People magazine!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "...I would like a secret Pinterest account and I'd like all the things that are previously listed on my list to be pinned on that said account." R "You want pictures of men in spray tans on your Pinterest account?" L "I want a secret account where I can figure out how Pinterest works." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b6-4bb9-0f0b-ae011ff982dd">L “Hey, Jimmy Page, can you, just take it, take five, okay?” R “Cool, bro! You let me know when you’re ready, bro!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t want to spoil your fun, but I think you’re having it at the expense of everyone else listening.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 381: L "Enough backstory!" "Give that to somebody else's baby, maybe, but not my baby!" "Why are we doing this? Science!" "What have we become?" "If you're keeping score at home, we are losers." "Verdict. People. Let's give it. Grammar. English. Question mark." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Put that on a t-shirt: Dog food's better than baby food." L adds: "any day of the week."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Kids, if you're gonna eat glue, don't, but if you insist on it, do it with Sriracha." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I'll be Rafe, you be Jared." L "Well, it depends on what they do in the book."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 382: L “‘Sign this if you don’t want me to keep crapping in your yard. It’ll get back to the people who feed me.’” “Attach signage to every cat.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “‘Ladies man gorilla,’ that’s what they call me. Gorilla man for the ladies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 383: L “And I think that’s the working definition of a redneck is someone who sits on something, takes to the air and then starts to flail about.” “Snow plus kayak equals snow-kayaking equals instant death.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “‘Cause you’re the breadwinner.” R “Mhmm. I am. I also am the bread cooker sometimes.” L “Not baker.” R “Let me cook some bread for ya, baby!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Welcome to ‘Talking in Circles with Rhett & Link.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 384: R “The plan was foiled by a MORON. And I’m not happy about it, moron, wherever you’re at. Headbanded moron.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 385: L “You should have a woodworking project with you that’s finished at all times.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Both: “Can you curl that?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (reading->) “‘In this package is a painting I did of your logo with a touch of realism.’ A touch? No, that’s just a whole slather of realism!” R “So this thing is a detailed version. I mean, and I look like me and you look like ye. You know what? That usually doesn’t happen when people do these kinds of things.” L “That’s because it was done with the master’s touch.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 386: R “Buenos mythical dias.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-0ad4-5e70-646d-912de7ce36fb">GMMore: R “Oh my goodness, we have lost a light. We’re just gonna have to continue in darkness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 387: R “My taste buds are confused like a cat that eats coffee for a living.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe6-f701-927e-3c15d1ae1e4c">GMMore: L “I make coffee in a fresh prince.” “I would take them out of an elephant’s butt, too...” “As the king’s evil, I make an edict that all people shall take coffee up the rear twice a day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 388: R “I love the concept of time travel and I want it to be possible. Let me just go on record saying that I hope it is possible and I hope I can partake in it at some point.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 389: R “...We’re gonna have the very first meeting of people who met on an app.” “It’s like going on a first date with a guy and his two uncles.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “So, as you get older, now I don’t know what the average age of the person who watches ‘Good Mythical Morning’ is, but I have noticed something-” L “47.” R “I have noticed something about the average person who’s younger than us these days and you guys, you don’t like awkwardness enough and we really, as you can tell,” L “We love it.” R “we REALLY like it. L “Yeah.” R “So when you just think that we’re being weird, it’s because this is as good as it gets for us. Being two creepy uncles in a big SUV with two people that just met for the first time who are getting fake ice cream,” L “Like a dream come true.” R “that is like A plus plus experience for us,” L “Yeah.” R “and if you don’t understand that, then I feel sorry for ya.” L “We’ve never connected with a female via text.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We toasted each other twice and that’s never happened!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 390: L “It’s good to always keep a pool of enemies around that you can get to backfill the job that you hate. It’s a different type of revenge.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 391: L “You know we bring a lot of baggage to this show.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “So apparently, if you have the proper documentation, you can take all the human heads you want.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 392: L “I eat so few tomatoes ‘cause I hate ‘em that-and then when I thought it was an olive, I started to wretch.” “That’s a good palate cleanser after eating that olive tomato!” “I taste everything by sight, Meghan.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Meghan “Olives don’t burst.” L “They don’t?” M “No.” L “They slice?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is cheese a berry?” “I thought it was cheese-berry!” “Lots of berries are slimy!” “Banana’s a good fruit. If you don’t like bananas, I don’t like you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I used to think as a child that every time I ate strawberry, I was planning a strawberry tree in my belly.” Meghan: “‘Cause strawberries grow on trees, kids.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “In New Zealand, the stitches go the other way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 393: R “I looked into your brain.” L “You were looking into my brain?” R “I was. I saw your hair, though. Your hair’s in the way.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It ain’t never occurred to nobody where we’re from to kiss anybody on the cheek, unless-” R “You’re related to ‘em!” L “-unless it’s your aunt or your grandma-” R “It’s a woman that you’re related to. You can kiss the heck out of that woman’s cheek.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I kiss all those people on the lips, by the way.” “Nana, I kiss her on the lips. On my dad’s side, I kiss ‘em on the lips.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...you know, but interestingly, your mom kisses me on the cheek. She really goes for it, too.” “She sticks around for a couple of seconds, too.” “I think she likes my beard. I think she likes her lips on my beard.” “I do not kiss your women back.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Tell me what to do now or I’m gonna really freak out.” L “What is wrong?” R “I’m lost! I feel like I’m in the studio though, somewhere.” L “Uh.” R “I see Lionel Richie and a fox.” L “Uh.” R “Where am I?” L “Rhett?” R “Yeah?” L “Turn around, buddy.” R “Oh. Sometimes I get a little mixed up.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “If you do brunch, you’ve got to do the cheek kiss in Silver Lake.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You didn’t even want to fist me! I’m not asking to kiss you.” L “I know because it’s a slippery slope, sir.” R “I started out the night just fist-bumpin’.” L “We did the plexiglass kiss and I’m still trying to recover from that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e828-0ad3-f269-4879a304ff9c"><span>L “But, I was like, ‘She strikes me as the type of person that I should cheek kiss right now.’” R “This wasn’t some awesome event, you weren’t dressed up, there was no music playing. You were in a lobby next to a table with jalapeno cheddar cheetos on it-” L “All of that’s true.” R “-and you wanted to kiss her cheek?” L “All of it’s true. What does it mean?” R “It means you’re slipping, man.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 394: R “I love things with post-it notes on it. Gotta see it.” “Anytime I draw a skull, it’s of women’s bodies. That’s a given.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s your number one?” L “Yeah, it’s pretty cool, right?” R “Hey! I’m with you.” L “You’re with me?” R “Yeah. I think you’re great.” L “Rhett thinks I’m great.” R “I think you have a great eye for movie posters.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’ve amassed a list of what I believe to be the most iconic movie posters in deja vu.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I inherited that from my mom. We can’t say names.” “The best movie posters are the ones that look like Benicio Del Toro. That’s my new theory now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2036-28d3-1ce8-257b2c1d8660"><span>L “Take enough laxatives, it does feel like an exorcism.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 395: L “You shouldn’t apologize for unfollowing a friend. They should apologize for making a boring, self-interested feed.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "We love teachers!" R (singing) “Big fan of teachers. We hofe they’re all watching.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “It’s unadulterated tanner.” (singing)-->“Just call me Zestee!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe8-3d09-d70c-6c273d0b510f">R “My mom always told me ‘ You’re so good at shading.’” “When you get home tonight, say, ‘Hey, Christy, I want to show you my Zestee side.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 396: R "Pep talk. It's one of my strengths." "You have a whisper of discontent. That's why I always whisper to you, to try to speak to your heart."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I don't have a competitive bone in my body." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "I like being a secret leader." "I get people to submit to me and they don't even know they're submitting to me." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-58f5-0c24-8df9-a29c8c39a62d">“Who are these people that need bridges?" "I like to label people." "I would never buy an exotic car." "</span>That idea you’ve got, that brilliant one that you see withering and dying? Yep. That’s because of me. I’m the witherer of your ideas. Bring me your ideas and pearls and I will polish the pearls and I will kill your ideas.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 397: L “With the advent of, you know, hand-held devices, Rhett, I mean, it’s just inevitable that people are going to start snapping away and snapping away and snapping away. No escaping it.” “Well that’s probably sad, that is probably true, and it is definitely sad.” “It’s ‘cause women have more brains, it’s hard to keep their head straight.” “Meeting of the minds! Hashtag!” “Some scientist out there got a protractor out on instagram. Man, you gotta get life, dude!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Do you tilt your head? Are you 24 years old?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “No one has gotten lice from a selfie.” "Our kids bounce a lot."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 398: R “That’s all I need of her right there. She can save my day anyday.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Embarrassed. While, during, and after.” “You know, the selfie world is getting really competitive.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You don’t want to look embarrassed in your selfie.” “In the future, they’ll be a ‘Smelfie.’” </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 399: R “I’ll give my leg hairs for their men’s beards. I don’t know if you want my leg hair, it’s kinda curly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 400: L "Cake beard!" "Ooooh, we just gave birth to a can of bacon!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 401: L “He who laughs last is the last laughing owl to ever have laughed.” (R - put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 402: L “When in Rome, well, get nekked. I think that was the saying.” R “But it wasn’t Rome. It was Death Valley.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Hello, internet!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “If you like dry places with few people with few clothing at times and water coming out of rocks that’s hot, go to Death Valley.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “While nude, I don’t wanna piggy back ride on anybody. Well, not, I mean, maybe somebody, um, like my wife.” R “Just stop talking.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When you see a man with a flat top and it’s working, you immediately listen to-” L “Do everything he says.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 403: R “I love games!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m almost as smart as a phone. Smarter than Siri. I asked Siri to call me ‘Mac Daddy’ and she didn’t wanna do it.” L “She’s smarter than that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Cause when I’m driving through places, like, Yelp, I wanna know what’s a good place to eat and I also wanna know where the cool people are so I can eat with them.” “Never has the use of a smartphone made someone look so stupid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I tried out an imaginary friend, it didn’t work out, like in preschool.” R “That’s only yourself to blame, though.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 404: R “Right now, in another dimension, this show is happening, in another universe, and it’s a little bit different.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “There is a version of this show in which I talk like Jeff Goldblum and I have glasses and there’s a version where Link wears pants on his head.” L “Call me ‘Pants.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Love you, man.” L “Well, I mean, I like you as a friend.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Love you as a brother, Rhett. I love you as a brother.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Cosmologists’- Isn’t that somebody that works on your hair?” L “Yep. Cosmetologist.” R “I don’t think we should trust cosmetologists.” L “Cosmetologists everywhere agree there is a multiverse and the updo is in.” R “I’ve worked on enough hair in my day to know that there’s another universe out there!” L “There’s a universe where they’re doing every single hairstlye imaginable.” R “Yeah, man. There’s a universe out there where my hair goes down and yours goes up. Think about that!” Both “Whaaa?!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 405: L “My foodway opens up and air goes down it…” R “That is a problem.” L “I have had burps that have rumbled on for like, minutes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You know what happens when you steal something like you did today.” L “You go to prison.” R “Yeah.” L “And that’s where Tommy was.” … R “And it was in Texas so he got executed.” L “And you know what?” R “That’s what’s gonna happen to you.” L “You need to return it.” R “Sleep tight.” L “Right now.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I’ve learned something very specific eating all this stuff that’s got bacon flavor on it. Bacon is good.” L “Bacon flavor. Not good.” R “Bacon flavor. Not once has it been good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There’s a reason why bacon exists the way it does. That’s how it tastes, good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 406: L “Ridicool me! That’s when you get rid of my cool.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If it’s not in a hotel, it’s not a convention.” R “You might be the convention king!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Only the best for the Convention King!” L “Hi! My name is Convention King!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “We still have the Box of America. People ask about it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “How do you say ‘g-o-t-h’?” L “G-o-t-h? That’s not a word.” R “Uh, yeah it is.” L “Hold on, I put a ‘c’ in there.” R “Gotcha!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s a good cartoon idea. ‘The Goth Golfer.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 407: R “The thing that I enjoy about amusement park rides is the perceived risk of dying.” L “Which makes me wanna line up for anything.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Did you go female on me?” R “Yeah. I’m a female in the audience.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I prefer the female you. I’m not gonna lie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Courtney’s my female name.” L “Courtney Rhett.” R “Yeah, when I take female form, I go Courtney.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The female version of me was really popular in high school.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 408: L “I’m willing to sacrifice my nose for space!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Mention Uranus and Stevie’s gonna laugh over there.” “It's getting silly up in here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2036-7ad9-3601-85a15202dff4"><span>R “Elon Tusk, you wanna watch House of Farts with me? It’s a big Netflix hit.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 409: R "I love conclusions." "Yoga pants! Where's that 40-year-old woman with yoga pants and earbuds? You smellin' my wife's non-existent perfume? Huh? You wanna fight? You wanna fight me? Huh?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Well, we're a strange family, but what are you?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Are you a clone?" L "No. Are you a foul-mouthed sailor?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Are you stupid enough to repeat the stupid thing [that] you just said?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 410: L "I have punched my wife in the face while sleeping in the past..." "Get your spouse to punch you in the face if you wanna have more vivid dreams."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Put that on a commercial. 'Cars Land does gets nice at night.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 411: R “It smells like my kid’s feet.” “Hey, sprinkle my ant heads with some ant parts!” “I’d rather eat poop.” “Let’s name him: HERB!” "You will own the internet if you do this." “Well this has been a good day, Link ate a scorpion and I got a tarantula.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You been smelling your kids' feet?" "I only eat female Katydids.” “I own you, scorpion.” "They call me the Scorpion King. They made a movie about me." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Yeah, we spoil our tarantulas around here.” “I can’t read Herb really well, but you know, I just got him!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 412: L “I’ve seriously considered doing the whole janitor key ring thing…” R “That would make you even cooler. And I’d know where you are at all times. I’d hear you coming, like you’d be ringing your little bell and be ‘oh, here he comes!’ and then as you get older and you start losing your mind, you know-” L “I’m already there, brother.” R “You need a big key ring and you know what? You could clean this place up. You could be the janitor! We need one!” L “No, I’m not gonna do that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “And I just throw my keys where I take my pants off.” L “Which is all over the place?” R “Which is any room. Sometimes, outside. I’ve taken my pants off outside. It’s California.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m living in my own prison.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2036-d045-1a51-e26059243c7b"><span>R “Any man who’s got pajama pants on is a follower. I’m just saying, I go out there in whitey tidies and my kids are like, ‘he is the tribe leader.’” “He’s definitely the chief. I should also be in my briefs.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 413: R “That’s the theme of my sleeping bag that I travel with: clouds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I don’t look like a dog.” “I’m a bagel that says, ‘ding.’ I’m a dingy bagel. ‘Cream Cheesy’. That’s what they call me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-d3e7-8d7f-86b3-c607eaf76314">GMMore: L “I mean, I don't want to toot my own bagel here, but that was amazing." “If you fell for that, it’s because I’m an amazing actor.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 414: R “...one of my favorite things in life are studies of mothers from the United Kingdom.” “You’ve got Linkle! You don’t need Google!” “‘The Feeling of Wetness.’ That was the name of my band in high school. I was the lead singer. Linkle and Rhettle, The Feeling of Wetness.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Je suis smarte!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “What are shadows made of?” R “Shadows are made out of all the bad things you do and think about...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "What did you call them?” L “Obligate ram breathers.” R “That was the name of my band in college after ‘The Feeling of Wetness’ fell apart." “We were good.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Just turn your BS faucet off for a second.” “Never make eye contact with a blacksmith…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You can’t look directly into the eyes of a blacksmith without sunglasses.”</span> <span>“Never finance a depreciating asset.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-244e-59cd-ec8660e81b53"><span>R “Give Boris a break, man at the place.” L “Give Boris a break.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 415: R “I wish I could make things true by just saying them! That would be a great superpower!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Welcome to the twenty-first century! I just got here!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love spring cleaning. It’s one of my favorite things. I spring clean every season. It’s just theraputic to throw things away. I’m looking for things to throw out. There’s a sense of control, I think, in throwing things away and I’ll admit that I like to have a sense of control over my life. It’s an illusion, but I like to have it by cleaning, so-” R “I feel sorry for you.” L “-and incidentally, that’s one of my major compatibilities with my wife so you can feel sorry for her, too.” R “I feel sorry for both of you.” “I like going to your house ‘cause it’s so clean. I’ll lick the floor in your house. It’d be like, ‘I know it’s clean! Tastes like Pledge!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I know that some of you are probably questioning my sanity by stabbing the eyeball out of my cookie...” “I just don’t want people to think I’m crazier that I need some sort of treatment.” R “But that’s, I mean, we’re way past that, you understand.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wish I was an Eagle Scout, really. Wish I was prepared. Always be prepared. That’s the motto of the Boy Scouts.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 416: R “I love pizza. Pizza’s so good. I’m reminded of that every time the pizza plank goes into my mouth!” “I would like to be served this way for all meals!” “I think I’m a pizza expert, guys.” “I feel like I could be, like, an olympic pizza plank guy…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I kissed Craig’s beard. What happened? The Wheel of Mythicality. It’ll do crazy things. It’s okay. All for the comedy.” “The best pizza experience I’ve ever had was in Chicago. It was at, I think it was Pizza Uno? Pizzaria Uno, but I also ate at Lou Malnati’s...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 417: R “Every time I hear about cruise ships in the news, it’s about people getting diarrhea. It’s like, ‘the whole cruise ship got diarrhea and they had to turn around.’ It’s like, that doesn’t sound like something I want to invest in! I get diarrhea enough without investing in it!” “I get diarrhea just from bad food choices. I don’t want it to be a result from my living quarters!” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-244e-59cd-ec8660e81b53"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-4ef1-c591-2f840903217b"><span>GMMore: L “I’m sure you’re great, but there’s some fans out there that like, who knows, loose cannons. Being trapped on a ship with them, it’s kinda scary. Course not mythical beasts...” “I may be the one stabbing my cookie face, but you’re the one wanting to make amusement parks where ya die. ‘Death Cruise,’ that’s what you’re saying?” “Don’t breathe deeply in the cocaine factory.” “If we had a ‘Rhett & Link’ cruise,...we would just, like, hang out. Like, ‘hey, what kind of cheese...are you eating?’”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 418: L “Since when then do they not make ashtrays in cars anymore?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You want to retrofit old cars with your gesture technology?” “Are you trying to kill me again?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t know why I’m such a morbid person.” “Mythicalest beastus maximus.” (speaking to Siri->) “Hey, Rhett, it’s Link, I was just texting you to let you know that, um, you know, I just been thinking about some things and um, I don’t know, it’s just complicated at this point, uh, maybe it’d be better just to have a phone call, I don’t know why you’re not returning my texts, um, you’re the one making it weird, uh, a little honesty goes a long way and uh, I’m not giving up on our friendship, but you need to pull your weight, um, listen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-0730-1ced-af49-ffe083bec157">R “I think it is that you need to workout. You can become like Carrot Top.” “I feel like this group, you mythical beasts who come to watch ‘Good Mythical More’, I feel like you’re the mythicalest mythical beasts, it’s like a new level of mythical…”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 419: R “I suggest the salmon! I feel really strongly about the salmon!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “There’s an inverse ratio between you finding this funny and me finding it enjoyable...” “Bloop me later.” “If you’re questioning whether you should send a text, you should just call.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ceaa-3f93-8198-d26c71974133">R “The first cell phone call I made was in 2001. I got married and I bought my wife and I phones and I gave it to her and I called her, I was like, ‘this is so cool.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 420: L “...I recommend wearing a t-shirt that says, ‘Prom Much?’” “People will line up! ‘Yeah, I would like to prom much!’ It’s like, ‘okay well, you can do that me!’” People are into this. It’s amazingly stupid!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If there are corsets at your prom, you should contact your school board.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “You gonna sit there and be a wallflower or are you gonna dance with the janitor?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Much respect to janitors and lunch ladies but not to this guy and his advice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 421: R “I’ve never been more ready to eat meals ready to eat!” “Let’s open a restaurant that’s called, ‘MREs Please’!” “It smells like a bad fart. Like a post-Super Bowl party fart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I might start cooking if I can just cook out of a box!” “That is the worst smell I’ve ever smelled!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-ab8f-61b1-7e083934ea8e"><span>GMMore: R “I have never punched you in the face but there are things that would cause me to do it.” L “Is this one of ‘em?” R “Putting black 38 year old applesauce into my face? Yes.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 422: R “I’m going to help you drive your wife crazy.” “You know what happens when Europeans start studying things? I start reading about it.” Okay, I’ve seen enough to know that you need science.” “I don’t wanna stop what’s in progress here.” “I like to say, ‘Would you like a little pa-pa-pasta with some ch-ch-ch-cheese? Mac & cheese, my friend. That’s what I’m talking about. Mac & cheese. I got some in my trunk over there on the other side of the parking lot. It’s for sale. Just letting you know about it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m gonna demonstrate my reproductive quality while dancing. That seems dangerous.” “I feel like at any moment something could pop and never go back.” “Yeah, I could feel her on the other side of the lenses just kinda clawing at me.” “I feel like thousands of people were put at risk by some of those moves I did.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “And then I brought him back to my women. And we prepared his flesh together and nourished ourselves for weeks on the flesh of an ox and it involved a lot of my left wrist and shoulder.” “I won in my heart.”</p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-3e2a-51dc-198a-5053aa1d2c8a">R “Our names were MC Scott and DJ Straw Beat.” [?] “I thought that people thought that we were really cool.”</span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 423: L “My kids will never smell a story fart.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Couldn’t go through a list without a couple of fart jokes!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “We were livin’ on the edge in college, guys. A little caffeine, little sugar!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “There will be a day where there’s not books...” R “I don’t believe that.” L “I don’t know, I believe that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The flathead is like the rescue screwdriver. That’s what I use it for. I rescue myself all the time with a flathead screwdriver. I’ll never give it up. You try to take it away, future! See what I do, FHS!” L “Eat that, future! I’m gonna be stockpiling flathead screwdrivers!” R “I’m gonna be the flathead man when the future rolls around. I’m gonna have a whole shed full of ‘em!”</span></p>
<p><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-2037-e654-5d6c-f6719ceb37d1"><span>R “That’s gonna be the name of my store. ‘Flathead Action.’”</span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 424: L “Scooters make everything better.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L (about French bathrooms->) “I’m a different person because of it.” “I found the best bathroom ever in France. ‘The Big Bad Momma Bathroom.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 425: L “My wife did this our first year of marriage a whole lot.” R “You mean at your head?” L “Yeah, she got mad at me and she’d throw a shoe.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-203a-cc30-ea11-19553e0a54ab"><span>R “I get gassy when I get nervous ‘cause I don't know what’s happening.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 426: R “I know my colleges.” L “It’s also community colleges.” R “Oh! That’s my specialty!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m a great guesser!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I think whenever you have to add ‘fighting’ in front of the name of your mascot, you’re compensating for something.” “Don’t put ‘fighting’ in front of your mascots, put ‘possessed’ in front of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “The first time I remember a mascot, I remember thinking, ‘boy, that guy must be sweaty in there.’” “I thought it was cool. I wanted to be one, but I don’t fit in mascot outfits.” “A slug as big as a banana is a problem.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 427: R “This girl’s date was going to be a muppet until she killed it and made it into a dress.” L “Her hands are still bloody. Or those are just gloves.” R “Yeah, well, that’s the blood from the inside of a muppet-” L “Muppet blood gloves.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “But I do remember making a creative choice at some dance in college, it was Meredith College, where your wife went. Me and Gregg were going with two girls, I don’t remember who they are, but we decided to go-...I wore all white. We wore all white but with a gold [?] tie and cumberbuns. We called ourselves ‘The Golden Twins.’” “We should chaperone some people’s proms. We should make ourselves available to chaperone proms.” “You should see me in tails, then you’ll pay me ten grand.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I wonder what the pay would be. They pay you in punch? I don’t like punch.” “Celebrity chaperone.” “Rhett and Link: Professional Prom Chaperone Celebrities!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580b-c80f-ff44-2338bee4f9a0"><span>R “Don’t pull on my tails, though.” L “Don’t bump and grind me either, I’m a chaperone.” R “If you wanna pull on my tails and bump and grind, you gotta pay extra.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 428: L “When you can take a fact and you can ‘toid’ it, then it justifies spending ten minutes with us on the internet.” R “These are actually fact-roids, Link. They’re facts on steroids.” L “Cause they’re unnaturally strong.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “A little stinky on my pinky from my belly button.” “I love a woman with a hairy belly button. Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-belly button. Put that on a t-shirt and don’t watch anyone buy it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “The belly button is a sensitive place. It’s not made to put trees in. I learned that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Your belly button is twice as big as mine.” R “Maybe three times the size. It’s a sign of intelligence.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-3750-b4c5-cf79-16f82a29429b">L “Thank you for everything, not just for buying our music. Thank you for everything, but especially for buying our music.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 429: L “I’m not talking about going on MayoClinic.com and self-diagnosing. I’m talking about real diagnosement, like-” R “Diagnosement?” L “Yeah, a real diagnosement. A prognosis.” R “I think you made up a word, but I don’t know.” L “It’s my show, I can make up a word!” R “It’s your show?!” L “You’re with me on this, man. It’s our show!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I think we should join the Resistance. We’ll find the first guy, we’ll find the first bald black guy with glasses that don’t have sides-” L “And elect him mayor!” R “-and follow him!” L “Let’s name him ‘Resistance’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580c-1e7d-8502-e4989640d68c"><span>L “Let’s start a new series just called, ‘What did you watch?’ and half of the time is spent not being able to remember what we watched!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 430: R “Next time your friend says, ‘I’ll eat anywhere, I’ll eat anywhere, man. Take me anywhere and I’ll eat there,’ you say, ‘okay’ then you stay quiet. You drive to a dumpster. You’re like, ‘here we are. Let’s eat.’” “You can’t let people play mind games. You have to control them. Take control of the situation. Take them to a dumpster or take a nap. It’s foolproof.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-4aa3-0aab-5107-3433195bb915">GMMore: L “‘Hey, man. Wanna grab some dunch?’” “Well, the thing that we tell our kids is, you know, I was taught, ‘clean your plate,’ but the thing that we teach our kids is ‘listen to your body.’’” “When it comes to eating lunch or dinner or dunch, listen to your body. When it comes to dating relationships, don’t listen to your body.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 431: L “It’s good that one of us has an overly expressive face, I’ll own that and that’s not necessarily a great thing, and you have an underly expressive face.” R “Yeah, yeah. It’s a nice balance. Somewhere in the middle, there’s a good face.” L “Yeah. If we were only one person, we could make adequate faces for computers to understand.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 432: R “...I envision a time, as we get older, we transition out of this and we transition into sculpting…” “...we gotta drop one letter from the end of both of our names. I’ll still be ‘Rhet’ ‘cause I got two t’s to give. You’ll be ‘Lin.’ ‘Rhet and Lin’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Our name is ‘Linhett.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You think I’m making this up. I do wanna sculpt with you.” L “But first I have to put on a shirt that you’re already in.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You know a movie is a good movie, not when you watch the movie, but in the week…,certainly the days after you’ve watched the movie, how much your mind goes back to the movie. It’s when I realize that the best movies are the ones that I go back and I think about and I realize something, like, something new about the movie or upon further reflection, I’m rewarded by the movie.” “I love my job. This is a dream job. We have creative freedom out the zoowah!” “It’s just to the left of the wazoo.” “Anything involving heat scares me a little bit.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...when you start to let artwork into your life,..it makes you a-, it enhances, it makes you a better person, it makes you wanna rap about it. I find myself wanting to rap about art.” R “You wanna make some art raps? Artraps.com!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Let’s sculpt internet videos together, Link.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 433: L “I can hear you, but I still don’t know if you’re there.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Google ‘winner’ for me, Link. See if my picture comes up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Dang, look! I beat Clark Gable! Clark Gable’s number three, punk! Look at that!” L “Don’t toot your own horn, man. Let somebody else blow it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...I’ve set my Google to only return wrestlers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 434: L “How many monkeys does it take to come up with a half-a-million dollar name? A hundred!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Meat cubed. The meatloaf of the future.” “Marsyas. Now you can peel things like a Greek god.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Neckcape.” L “The one of a kind hairstyle for people who don’t want to show the back of their neck.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580c-6027-822a-53865589ab7c"><span>GMMore: L “Go Daddy was originally called, ‘Jomax Technologies.’” “Almost called it Big Daddy, but the URL was taken.” R “Oh, yeah, ‘cause I had it! You ain’t gonna get BigDaddy.com from me!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 435: Both singing: “Rhett and Link got the beat to make the booty go clap.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Look at that dragon spin. Look at that dragon DJ. He’s a dragon DJ.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I was really hoping that mayonnaise would make more noise.” “I want this music to just follow me around. When I want into a room, I want everybody to feel skweee’d.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You really got a schlagger on your hands!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 436: R “Eight to twelve chihuahua’s? I’m scared of that and I’m a big man!” L “So it is like a land piranha, like, it’s really small, it’s got vicious teeth, got an attitude.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “One turkey reportedly smashed through a double paned window of a home scaring the owners and their dog. This was the headline, I’m quoting. ‘Wayward turkey explodes through a window of Brookline home, escapes through the back.’” R “A turkey through a window? These turkeys are on something up there. These are meth turkeys.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “This is one of the reasons that I am glad that I live in North America. We don’t have attack monkeys.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580c-b27f-e3ac-46f9caa248f8"><span>GMMore: R “Canadians are so nice. Canadian geese got attitudes.” “I got drunk squirrels in my backyard. Partying all the time!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 437: L “I ain’t never had too much taco.” "At first it's like, 'oh okay, a marshmallow taco.' Then it's like, 'Ugh, if you wanna mail something maybe.'" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I think I've met my match." "Tastes like Christmas!" "Boy, if I ever get shipped somewhere for a long period of time, I know what I'm eating." "No, I tag you and then you get in there and you bring the pork blood and you put it on your face and you're like, 'Pork Blood Brothers!' Remember? We worked it all out, man!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 438: R “They got tents at McDonald’s? [?] happy meal. I gotta go to the Joshua Tree McDonald's!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Always check the freakin’ weather!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 439: R “Tincture is a prize.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’ve got the Herpes virus in my system, dude.” R “Yeah, you two. Herpes Simplex 2, right?” L “Well, it’s on my lip, whichever one that is.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m addicted to all types of lip moisturizer.” “If you can’t admit that garlic works, you discredit any other type of diagnoses.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580d-6982-fe1f-d651f3b5ccbd"><span>R “For warts, take garlic.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 440: L "Can we just talk about the poppy seed chicken casserole for the rest of the episode?" "Thank you my mom, Sue. I love you." "That's not true, Sue, mom, never called you Sue before. But I am now because that's how much I love you." "...Toyko"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "And my mom, Diane. I love you before he loves his mom." "And thank you to our wives who are also moms. My wife, who I love more than he loves his wife, who's also a mom. I'm getting more brownie points right now." "WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATT?!" "For the rest of the existence of this show, anytime someone says 'Tokyo', I have to go "WHAAAT?!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 441 (mislabeled as #440): R “Yeah! I’m an expert at mom! I should have been a mom.” “Sorry moms everywhere.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You are incredibly annoying as a child. I’m glad you’re not my son.” L “I’m not arguing with that. The sad thing is I’m channeling what I was as a child.” R “Oh, boy. I’m glad we didn’t meet until we were six. I would have snuffed you out, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “...and I’m a great father. Question mark. Strikethrough.” R “Well, you know, I’m proud of her because she’s smart enough to figure out-she’s finally piecing it together what it means to have you as a father. It only took a decade.” L “She better be glad she’s got the mom she’s got because she’s got the dad she’s got.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 442: Craigslist caller “I ain’t never, I mean I ain’t knockin’ what you do, but I ain’t never been a big magic man.” L “That’s ‘cause you’ve never seen ‘Coney Island’.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I miss home so much. Thank you, Craigslist. Thank you, Craig.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Well, I guess we’ve come to an impass.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580d-b09e-12b9-59b058d128f6"><span>L “I poked myself in the eye once. I was giving somebody directions.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 443: R “I was expecting a cryogenic chamber to be in a strip mall.” “And listen, there’s nothing under this robe except me.” "Nothing is awesome!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Experiencing nothing is really something.” “Maybe this is my Narnia...”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 444: L “I think when Lincoln grows up, he wants to be Steve.” (talking about Minecraft)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Burro Schmidt was a futurist.” “What are you doing with your life? Are you digging?“ “What are you digging? Are you digging a hole for yourself or are you digging a tunnel through the mountains of life?” (Put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ccaa-0772-391d-c28e5e799446">GMMore: L “No man is an island. The wind follow me, so keep your distance.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 445: L “I’ve never looked at my feet and been tempted to take a photo of ‘em.” R “Well, that’s the difference between me and you and Kitty.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We have invented our own micro-blogging application. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s called ‘croaker.’ It’s a frog logo and every post is a croak.” R “You just connect your existing twitter to the croaker account and when you die, all your tweets become croaks.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m full of it.” L “Yeah, you can say that again.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I once rode the metro with Silver Man.” “I don’t delete anything ever. I’ve still got files from, like, ‘98.” “You are a deleter.” “Call me short-sighted.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-3684-f86e-b380-96b0cb4fa879">L “‘Never meet your heroes,’ that’s what they say.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 446: R “I don’t want to ‘Lady & The Tramp’ with you!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It’s like eating Easter morning or something...if the Easter Bunny crapped on a donut.” “Anything worth having is worth biting a lot to get to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 447: L “Hey guys. Let’s not get bogged down here. Let’s open a few brain windows.” “Let’s go to the vomit zone.” “Hey guys. Listen. We all know why we’re here. Let’s just straddle the freaking rocket, light the fuse, aim high, and winch, close your eyes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091f-94b1-3a69-ac28aa7b32c6">GMMore: L “When in Rome, does a bear crap in the woods?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 448: L “I’m the type of guy that when something happens, I’m like, ‘should I call 911?’ but I’ve never called 911.” R “I have.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580e-00f1-e2df-dab3b0d3d758"><span>R “I’m relatively quick to call 911.” “When you’ve got your heart set on chicken nuggets, you can’t settle for a Big Mac.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 449: L "What am I? The Pillsbury Doughboy?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "You really gotta get better at being a phone." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Hey, how are your fingers because know that must have hurt hitting my massive steeled chest."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 450: R “You’ve heard of jumping jacks. Why does Jack get all the credit? HUH?” “It’s one thing to just draw something out of the blue, but am I the inspiration for this demon cat?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (about the wheel) “What you don’t realize, guys, is that this thing right here weighs 1500 pounds and I’m just very strong.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0597-27f4-1d9e-652e85bee651">GMMore: L (reading) "Doctor, Mr McLaugh- oh, I just, I don't know wha-" </span>R “Doctor and Mrs. McLaughlin. Well, that might be a-, a lot of people see us that way! We’re married and I’m the doctor and he’s the Mrs.!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "W<span id="docs-internal-guid-73e21c1b-0c0b-2cb7-687b-e76e732f9335"><span>ho knew that heaven was gonna be lined with Korean candies? I now know that. The afterlife." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 451: L “But you’re not determining if I’m an animal.” R “Right, cause I already know that, to be the case.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I fake laugh at you all the time, man, to make you feel good.” “We’re not animals!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c7-e986-2a0f-d3f66acb6c7e">GMMore: R “What did the banana say to the apple?” L “I don’t know.” R “You peel me, bro?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 452: R “Turkey Guhrke. There’s no McGehrke. That’s me. I’m the McGehrke around here!” “The woman dies while the dude’s hibernating. What kind of marriage is this?” “Here’s to you, Turkey, and half of your life that you spent in bed!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I saw, something changed about my boys this weekend, you know. They became a little bit more of a man. They pooped outside and buried it and the problem is now, I can’ get ‘em to stop.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 453: R “That fox from now on will be called….’Rhett McFox’!” L “What about ‘Rhett McFoxlin?’” R “‘Rhett McFoxlin!’” L “Now I named him after you!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “It’s just show biz, people. We share makeup. I mean, who we kiddin’. We can’t afford makeup for each of us so we use the same makeup.” “He eats apples with his eyes closed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Call me Rick or Brett, but don’t call me by my real name.” “If we’re really old, this’ll be good stuff.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Here’s the thing. One day I’m gonna die, and then you’re gonna play this video back, and once everybody agrees that it’s ‘Tootsie Roll’, you’re [gonna] say, ‘you know what? That Link. Too bad he’s gone because he’s been vanquished. He’s been vanquished!’” R “If that’s the only thing that you’re remembered for, for your improper pronunciation-” L “At my funeral, I want you to say that.” R “I’m going to play this tape at your funeral, and I’ma be like, ‘he was wrong about Tootsie.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Jason “Why do you think Link’s gonna die first?” L “I will, I will.” R “He’s more accident prone.” L “But it will be entertaining.” R “When you die?” L “Yep. That’s my final wish. Just, go out with a laugh.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 454: R “...I am really good at knowing when the microwave is going to go off.” “...I got ESP! Or else I have a really good biological clock.” L “You have a sense of how long a minute is.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “If you wanna live, you’ll like it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 455: R “I’m gonna have the best right foot on the beach!” “My dollar got me a tanned foot.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-580e-405e-858b-a7035a2da2d6"><span>GMMore: R “A lot of air going in and hair coming out!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 456: R “When you begin thinking about things in the bathroom, you begin thinking about infrastructure because you using infrastructure in that moment, ‘Where’s this stuff going?’ And then the next thing you know is, I’d like to know more about infrastructure, then you got a civil engineering degree.” “All because of a little cheese.” “I named a star after you.” “Linkstar.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Everything’s bigger in Texas, but when the women, due to pop culture, decide to downsize themselves, men Texans not happy.” “Oh, look at Tina’s girl, she is a SKANK!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 457: R "At age three, I was painting the walls of my bedroom with my own poop." "I'm like Poop Picasso!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 458 (mislabeled as #457): L “There’s nothing scarier than staring down the hole of a butter nozzle.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "This is a-matrixing."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 459: R “You know what happens when you get a cockroach in your throat, you go for it with a fork.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “When people are like ‘I don’t eat weird stuff,’ it makes me mad at ‘em. I’m just going to be honest with you. I’m just like, come on, live a little bit! You’ve got one life, you’ve got opportunities to eat stuff, just try some stuff!” (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/SarahAshour">Sarah (RiverMouse)</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-28ba-cf91-975b-05395d204a28">L “I’ve never licked a piece of charcoal.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 460: L “Derek Johnson wrote ‘stay smrat’ in my yearbook and he was not joking and it changed my life.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “No matter how old you get-” L “You’re never too old for a whoopee cushion.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you don’t find a whoopee cushion funny, then you need to reevaluate things. Reevaluate your life.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 461: R “Yo-Yo fusion 2014!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I feel like I could confess something that otherwise I would never say and that’s, okay, I am in love with me. I love myself.” “But I do love myself and I’m fine with that.” “I love me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R "I believe that there are few things in life that you should be careful how good you get at them. In no particular order, yo-yo-ing.” “Personally, for me and my family, I just don’t think the McLaughlins should be that good at magic.” “Miming. You can add that to the list. You shouldn’t be too good at miming either.” “It’s just in the McLaughlin family, we can’t be too good at magic, yo-yo-ing, juggling, or balloon animals. Just something my dad kinda instilled in me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 462: L “I really want to go to Niagara Falls especially after learning all the things I’ve learned about these survival stories.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I found it very interesting that when you think of a daredevil, you think of some stupid guy on a motorcycle. You don’t think of a 63 year old guy schoolteacher from Michigan in a barrel.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I like adventure and I like to be scared and know that I’m okay, but I don’t like to do things where there’s a significant chance that I’m going to get hurt.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 463: L "The funny thing was, I went to the optometrist just to get a routine eye exam, did not think I needed glasses at all, and at the end he was like, 'You need some glasses' and tears formed in my eyes, like...honestly, I had an emotional reaction-" R "Your eyes were defending themselves." L "-and I just, I felt like a part of me has died or I'm coming to grips with getting older. I didn't know what it was, but I had an unexpected emotional reaction..."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is like the evolution of Link's glasses. It's kinda like 'The Evolution of Robin Thicke' album. My wife and I listen to that quite a bit. We're big Robin Thicke fans."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "You know me, I wanna make a statement!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "If your face is bigger than your head, you got problems." "These glasses, to me, feel like, 'I wear glasses as a fashion statement.' This person says, 'I wear glasses because I need glasses.'" "It looks like something that the sun would wear if the sun wore sunglasses."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I like being a guy who walks down the street, it's like, 'oh, look at that guy's glasses.'" </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 464: R “I’ve been thought to be 80 before by really short people.” “This is why I’m always careful when I walk in front of a fence. People all think I’m a pigeon.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I don't lie, I just verbally elude."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 465: R “You’ve embarrassed yourself a few times on a mountain bike. If you take this thing out on the trail, you’ll be the man. Look at that guy with the million dollar mountain bike! Even you would be really cool with that thing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Are you jealous of my shirt?” R “I’m upset with the shirt gods. Yes, I’m jealous of your shirt. It’s beautiful.” L “Thanks.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Sometimes when I get angry, I just say ‘donkey!’” “So then I tried to get in on that and so, I would tell Lando, I’d be like, ‘I love you, Lando,’ and he’ll say, ‘I love mom more than she loves me.’ That’s the first thing he says. I’m like, ‘well. I love you more than you love me.’ And then he’ll say, ‘it’s possible.’” “He’s just being honest. He loves his mom more than he loves me. I mean, she’s a wonderful person, she’s with him all the time. She makes his life a living awesome. What do I do? I just show up occasionally and I’m weird.” “I love me more than most people.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Whoa. Smells like an aquarium in there.” L “Hot chili squid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Hot chip chick.” R “We need some hot chip chicks on our bags.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-7236-c51c-e4fd-04fca3f92c66"><span>R “I am a grandfather as a dad. I’ve skipped straight to that.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 466: L “It’s like she was calling a kitten? Frigga, frigga, frigga.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I don’t run back from taking the trash out, but if I watch a horror movie by myself, but then I’m home alone, that’s a problem, you know. I get scared, man.” “Oh, the nipple rub, I’ve never seen that.” “That’s a funny name for a superhero, ‘Dark Streak.’ Just a guy with a dark streak in his pants.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a2cf-53f6-751b-0453a424a6d6">L “Sometimes when Christy and I are in a fight and then I have to go work or something, I’m like, ‘what if this is the last time you see me?’ I play that card. If it’s a minor fight, I do it as a joke.” “His catchphrase is ‘This may be the last time you see me.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 467: R “I wanna play one-on-one against my guy. Yeah, I haven’t played basketball in years, but I wanna play one-on-one against my perfect match.” “We’re gonna get to know each other over enchiladas and I’ll be like, ‘you wanna play one-on-one?’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I make some good human ribs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I think the dry rub should be made from human fingernail shavings.” "A little Terrance and Cindy sausage." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 468: R “I opened it with a fork! I’m like a pro! And then you eat it with a fork!” “Own it, Neal!” (and variation). “Want an orange soda? Let me grab a Yo-Yo.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Man alive, I want to get to that!” “You know you getting close when it starts to hiss at ya!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We’re not good at a lot of things.” “I have the hands of an internetainer, you know. I don’t have the hands of a farmer.” “My mom watches everyday, and she tells my dad about it. That’s how my dad watches. He gets a full report from my mom.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is what we do for you guys. We soil ourselves on the internet.” “I got a friend with a capper.” “I feel so dirty on the outside. I feel very clean on the inside.” “You can also open a bottle with a choo-choo horn.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 469: R "I can also say, no joke, my wife has been diagnosed with OCD and this is something she struggled with her entire life..."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...literally, on a weekly basis, I have to make a decision to de-pucker.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "My anus is tight." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 470: L “Livin’ the dream. Thank you for making us a part of your daily routine!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (singing) “Megan and Nate. You’re great. You sent us a pizza plank.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 471: R “Getting a little morbid on GMM today. ‘Good Mythical Morbid.’’</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Don’t assassinate your own mom! There’s no excuse for that!” “...never bring a candlestick to an axe fight.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-7239-2f8f-6dee-bc7b30f0beae"><br/> <span>GMM 472: R “What has Britney done for me lately?” “The Rock’s a wrestler and a movie star! That’s my dream!” “Who’s the most famous person on ‘Good Mythical Morning’?...Me.” “What am I gonna do with this newfound fame?”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 473: R “If you’re cool, you go to the pool.” “And you go to the pool to get cool.” “It’s like a freaking waterfall right in my buttcrack.” “The Pirt, with butt leak.” “Not getting fresh with you, I’m just trying to plug it with my finger. And I’m talking about pool.” “You look like a Pokemon.” “Come on, man, let’s be creepy together.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Going into baby maker.” “Never put a garden hose down my pants, but I will do it again.” “My candy’s not creepy, I’m sorry, but my van is creepy!” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Rhett gets to model the capri pants. That’s what you get in ‘Good Mythical More,’ people.” “I conveniently have some shades, previously worn by the sun.” “It was Maleficent and it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t magnificent but it wasn’t mal deficient either.” “Um, yeah….and he’s animated.” “No drinks, no candy, no complaints.” “That might as well have been the name of the candy store: ‘Buy your candy here and stuff it down your pants. Go to the movies.’” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-158f-2a67-6fc8-e8e0193d39ab">R “or at least, the California Raisins.” “It’s not Maleficient?” “Is Brad Pitt in it?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 474: L (about Lego mug) “87. I love this mug. I don’t care if it kills me. Matter of fact, the fact that it could kill me? It put it over the edge.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (Unicorn mug) “I’m going to give this one a 95.” “You come in and I’ve got this on my desk? You’re like-” L “Yeah, I think some things.” R “This guys knows what’s what!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 475: L “ I was faced with a choice and my choice was to say, ‘I have dietary restrictions and so does my wife.’ That’s what I said. I wanted to take my coffee in so badly, I said that we had dietary restrictions. I’m not proud of it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Ah, green. That's gotta look good with my eyes. It's a pretty green, you think my eyes are that pretty?" Yen: “Yea.” “...we are retiring the Mythical Mail Boulder next week.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "My boogers taste like pears!" “First of all, I just had ‘Lawn Clippings’ and I’m not complaining.” “My mom used to say, ‘that’s a dead pole cat!’” “I want to taste a skunk so bad now.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Every employee of Rhett and Link, that’s me and him, have to gargle with peroxide at least once a week.” “Hm. Tootie Frootie.” “It is uncanny how good they are at making these things horrible!” “It’s like eating soap, which of course, we’ve done before.” “You don’t have to swear, man. Your word is your bond, man."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 476: R “I love everybody, Randy.” “Randy Hardy, I love you.” L “I don’t know you but I love you.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m gonna meet this person that looks like me and acts like me and become my best friend, they’re gonna become my best friend. They’re gonna replace you.” L “I can rock all alone. That’s fine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I know I look like the kind of guy that’s into police memorabilia and I am.” “I do three types of videos: patches videos, icon videos, and badges videos. The badges one gets lots of views.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40ca-5f26-2770-cfc8a84952f9">*GMMore cut short because of VidCon</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p>GMM 477: R “There’s nothing like taking a leak off a cliff.” “I’d be willing to sit next to feces for seven hours for a good drink.” </p>
<p>GMMore: L “I’m like a rugged outdoorsman now.”</p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 478: R “When stuff that’s supposed to be outside starts happening inside, that’s when I’m like, ‘I’m into that!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like they brought the beach to you!” “...I would love to have the beach in my living room.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “So, it goes to show you can do stupid stuff and still end up being a doctor!”</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 479: R “Welcome to the internet!” “I think that might be the key to yodeling, is you gotta take one of your teeth and you gotta push it back half an inch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Burping from your lungs is called breathing.”</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 480: R “Today we say goodbye to the Mythical Mail Boulder.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We have decided to immortalize our Mythical Mail Boulder-” R “Your Mythical Mail Boulder!” L “Presenting to you, here we go, the bronzed Mythical Mail Boulder!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “This represents what we can create together.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 481: R “I guess I will blow up the studio!”</p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-7cae-2d65-1e07-a9a8c9d4081e"><span>*No GMMore</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p><strong>SEASON SIX </strong></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-7caf-0dff-e7ce-21225160e2db">GMM 482: L “Did you take up with another internet talk show?” R “I did. Yeah, I got another one I’ve been watching..” L “Well, call them immediately and break up ‘cause we’re back and this is it, okay, so let’s do this!”</span></p>
<p><span>GMMore: L "I just found myself watering these plants and after a few days, I was conversing with the plants, like, 'hey, does this feel good to you?' kind of a thing." </span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 483: Eddie “The next one is ‘HHWW.’’ R “Okay, I think I’m pretty sure I’m right about this. ‘Heavy Hungry White Women.’” Eddie “The answer’s ‘Holding Hands While Walking’.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R "Baby, I'm sure-" L "Larry yawned." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L "BLD? Blonde, long-legged dame." R "Big, loud Doug." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Bowel movement under stairs. Sometimes, you gotta go and you gotta find some stairs!" </span>"Don't let the boys bring beer." "EOK, everything's okay." "Even my father built isthmuses." "That's what FBI stands for. For busting in." “Forget the beer, only make hot dogs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘Does knowledge dictate command?’ It’s the question we all want to know.” “When in doubt, put it in the glossary.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "Dark night, dirty car." L "What is it?" R "It's Batman."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Every male forgets birthdays-” R ”Intermittently.”</span></p>
<p><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-8048-16be-cf6a-9ae1980bd4fb"><span>Both, back and forth: “Backwoods thoughts do take generally twice the sacrifice as whole intact observations.”</span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p>GMM 484: R “Throw that thing away! Be yourself, Link! Let your lip out! Bring your lip to the world and say, world, my lip may be nasty.-” <span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-8047-a62f-29ea-6e78c9c798d7">“Kiss him virtually while he’s talking.”</span> “I’m a big fan of vending machines because you know I’m a compulsive spender.” “Fun fake fact. FFF.”</p>
<p>R “You know what? Embrace Link. Virtually kiss your screen right now. Kiss him right on his nasty lip. Take your phone or your computer and just kiss the screen right now.” Link: “I wouldn’t go that far.” R "Pucker up! Pucker up! Let ‘em kiss you! They need to accept you!” (submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Pheasphant">Grace (Pheasphant)</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “If I were to kiss someone, I would transmit this to them and it would be in your system forever. So what happened was, I got too much sun on my lips, and then it just kinda broke out.” “I haven’t had a break-out this bad since middle school.” “Uncrustadol.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c8-381c-aaed-cb90c76a99b0">R “That’s one of the many reasons I’ve never kissed you on the lips.” “I took ‘Lipishere’ and that’s why I come to the park with my buddy. He’s unashamed to be with me.” “You just said ‘uncrustedhole.” “My mouth is an uncrustedhole.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 485: L “I’ve worn a speedo at the beach. Should you?” “We will call it the Mythical Mail Susan.” “When it comes to farts, there’s only one for me and it involves lots of cardboard.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “The thong is never acceptable for a man under any circumstances on the beach.” “There was a bubble that came out of your left nostril and I saw it. I saw it perfectly.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2a98-709b-6719-2be6e6551d91">GMMore: R “I could drown myself in peas.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 486: R “Because of you, I have to talk about this diseased lip over here!” “If you come down from the tree, we can go get some weeds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “By the way, if you’re bird-blind, Rhett’s shirt doesn’t have anything on it.” “Click through to Good Mythical More, wanna find out who famous is that are color-blindness?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0597-8cd4-8440-cb13fbd3173e">GMMore: R “I can only think about the Plant kingdom right now. Does it have to be a plant? WEEDS.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 487: L "A costume a superhero does not make, but a superhero must make a costume."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And I think it’s ‘Just Us League’.” “It’s very exclusive.” R “Yeah, it’s just us. We’re just normal guys with superpowers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I wish that we could be like a superhero team!” L “You know that’s right!” R “Like, me and you...Night-Link and Night-Rhett, we should really make that into a thing!” L “Surprise me!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I am so proud that we designed a shoe.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Gray is my favorite color because it acknowledges the mystery in the Universe, you know?” (submitted by</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/AkviA"><span>Alli (gator)</span></a><span>)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span>R "If there's grass, there's gonna be people on it in California."</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-8078-7047-16d4-600b89d59e5c"><span>L “Tomorrow, we are releasing the most music of videos that we’ve released in the past month. New music video. It’s called ‘I’m On Vacation.’”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 488: L “Just because it’s see-through doesn’t mean you should.” “I thought this game was going to be fun.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I lost a shoe!” “Don’t get attached because I will be unattaching it, well, no, I’ll probably donate it to a thrift store, guys, I’m not going to wear a woman’s top.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I don’t drive by fast-food places.” “You’re such a consumer!” “You showed me a picture online, you were like, ‘look at what I ate!’!” “All pizza’s great, but all pizza’s not equal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-2377-74dc-7612-feb757ab1a38">R “I almost said, ‘You’re letting the heat out!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 489: R “Don’t go outside, just watch this show!” "Don't turn him into a dead woman." "I would be afraid to walk around there because when I see something like that, there is this impulse within me, this little boy impulse, to just break it. You know what I'm saying? I just want to run into it and mess it up." "I think you really ground that one into the sand." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You know you got a big sand castle when you can sit on it and it does nothing to it.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “...I do think if I were Batman, I would punch Hulk in the face if he was giving me a wedgie like that.” R “No, Hulk has just got his blankie.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “We love Weird Al, but let’s dethrone him.” “This is window-shaking, trunk-shaking bass opportunity here that we’ve given you with this song.” "I can't help but lie to little kids, I'm sorry."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Learn from us, budding filmmakers."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "This is like Santa Claus, who's real, by the way." L "And he's really fat when you do him in the sand." (laughs) “When you sculpt him out of sand, he’s large.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 490: R “The dingleberries from that thing will definitely glow.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 491: R “This is GOOD Mythical Morning, not BAD Mythical Morning.” “If this thing explodes tomorrow and it’s the full scale eruption, then you know what we’re going to do, we’re going to go to, we’ll see you in Disney World, we’ll have on cross-country skis, and we’ll all make a post-apocalyptic movie together. It’ll be a great gathering of mythical beasts.” “This is who can be more dainty. Didn’t you read the instructions? I win.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If you see the lava, don’t run towards it. You’re going to want to, but don’t.” “We’ll have selling ash because that’s going to be our job.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Well, if you want to break a husband, take him to Ikea. One time will do it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you just throw your kid on the ground with a sleeping bag, everything up after that point is an improvement.” “I have dismounted and mounted so many things this past weekend, you would not believe it. It’s like I’m a taxidermist.” "Are you sure about that? Is that exist?"</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-158f-a239-87c1-f7e2580a1521">R “I woke up, I didn’t fix my hair, I just had my underwear on, and I just said, ‘Where are the tools?’, and I went around like a half-naked caveman fixing stuff in my house all day. And then we went on a date. She was happy, man. She was so happy. All the stuff got done." L </span>"Dudn't take much, when you're married to you, I guess."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 492: L “I don’t like spiders, I don’t like snakes and uh, I don’t like, uh, I don’t like snakes.” “This was stupid.” (the wheel falls on Link)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Link, you know what you are? You’re the Serpent King.” (w/ crew->) “You can do it, Serpent King.” “Did you forget how to hold hands?" “The Serpent King’s hair is a good place to lay snake eggs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I will call him Herb and that one too.” “Herb 2 and Herb 3.” “I’ll be the Serpent Prince.” “The most dangerous thing that happened on the entire episode was the wheel.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-4485-e0c2-e659-7dc129d3abe9">L “"I'd like a little concern for me! 'Are you okay, Link?' 'How is your heart?'"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 493: L "We know the answer to this one." “This is the best day of my life.” “We’ve healthed ourselves.” “Now, here at ‘Good Mythical Morning,’ if something is labeled non-toxic, you might as well label it, ‘Eat it on Good Mythical Morning.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You can catch me alone late at night...watching late-night programming with my cheese ice cream sandwich.” “Health yourself.” “It tastes like eating the bottom of a hamster cage.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 494: R “If you’re a teen girl named Cheryl, please comment on this episode!” “‘Donut.’ There’s an ‘L’ in it, right? Oh, there’s not an ‘L’. Sorry.” “I’m ready to speak to the world.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m growing concerned that if you apply my steps, you’re gonna become the weirdest teenager on the planet, especially if you’re in your mid-30s.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “He can’t say ‘Channing Tatum.’” “How do you normally say it?” R “Chanum Taten.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-862e-cc7e-dee6-8ed1239a81f7"><span>GMMore: R "...you're tall. Don't be afraid of it, man. Stand up straight, open your little mouth, and speak." "Let's all just be ourselves and not be ashamed of it." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-862e-cc7e-dee6-8ed1239a81f7"><span>R “My voice doesn’t ever get caught in somebody’s shirt. Never happened. It always at least goes over their shoulder.” L “A shirt will catch a voice, though.” R “You know that’s how voice works. It goes out like a laser.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 495: R “There is no area of your life that we are not willing to speak wisdom into.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That always happens to me when I pee in the ocean: my eyes cross a little bit.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 496: - R "Don't touch the nacho that’s not your nacho.” "I'm saying I've studied humans long enough to know if you wait ten minutes for anything, they've forgotten it and moved on." "I kissed you through glass, does that count?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Nachos are for sharing." (-> shirt) "You must never take someone else's fry unless they offer." "You must never ask to take someone's fry unless you've been in a relationship that's been established for at least 6 months." "I will propose that the only rule for sharing ice cream needs to be: If you're not willing to make out with this person, you shouldn't share ice cream with them."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 497: R “School is fun. Getting smart is fun, kids.” “I ain’t scared of that danish!” “That was my nickname in high school. Macro McLaughlin.” “Fun semi-related fact. I like the way you think, Link.” “Brontosaurus make thunder with feet.” “Did you hear about Cathy? She’s so phobia.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You ever try to poop in tight jeans?” L “Yes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Fun fact: snakes do not have knees.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We have a friend who has a phobia of lettuce…she cannot think about lettuce.” “She hasn’t touched lettuce in ten years.” “I think Christy has a huge crush on Keith Urban.” “If you had to be afraid of one thing, what would it be?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-68e8-2b05-4f86-7121629804e6">R “Oh, that explains a lot. (laughs)” “I think people sometimes assume things because it makes them interesting to talk about.” “Talking. ‘Uh, don’t talk, I’m afraid of talking.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 498: R “I take a crap on crime.” “We can be like a trio. We can be three best friends. We can let Daniel into our best friend club. It’s been closed for thirty something years. It’s time to open it up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “When I’m in the friend zone… I just bowl right through the friend zone.” “She also did say, ‘I like Link.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-a4ba-3c8d-d19f-2b0296a81786">L “You did that as if you were sponsored by your beard.” “All of a sudden, this became a commercial for your beard?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 499: R “It’s also my next workout DVD. It’s called ‘Barrel Roll with Rhett.’” “You got ‘NeverWet’ on your hair?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Trunk optional. Trunks optional.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Do you like dirty men?” “I’m not good with animals or humans.” "He gave you a bigger dookie than me, he likes you better." "It's better to be a mythical beast than being an intern." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Meaning, if you ask to be an intern at Rhett&Link, Inc., you don’t get to be one.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 500: R “Five hundred beans in a minute! I’m the bean king!” “Some really great stunt work, Link. Might have a future in that!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “When we started this show, we certainly didn’t think that we had five hundred in us.” “I think we thought that we had five hundred in us, but that you didn’t have an appetite for five hundred.” “Like five hundred episodes of this, we’re not even people anymore. We’re muppets, and we’re fine with that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-26f3-caba-9fec-59fcda17b06d">R “When we first started this show, there were a lot of comments about, like, ‘what are you guys-why are you guys doing this? Like, ‘what is the-why are you doing this.” Like, ‘this is not a good thing.’” “We did run out of just whatever we happened to be talking about that day becoming the episode. You can’t do that five hundred times in a row.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 501: L “...You and everybody else says I look like Garth from ‘Wayne’s World’!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “I don’t like pain.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 502: R “What would you choose if you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, you had to do it for like fifteen years?” … L “I’m going with cereal. I already eat it every morning for breakfast and every couple of days, I eat it for dinner too. I might as well just eat it for lunch-” R “But you have to choose a cereal.” L “I’m about halfway there!”... “I’ll choose Frosted Mini-Wheats...” ....R “Don’t eat the maxi ones. Stay away from those!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “...I would go with beans..” “...they give you the musical farts, which we could always use more of those.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Even when it doesn’t impact you, there’s just something frustrating about seeing somebody limit themselves.” “It’s just like, if you meet somebody and they’re like, ‘I’ve never left my house,’ and you don’t even know ‘em.” “I would just like to take you and just drag you out of your house. I have this overwhelming desire to do that.” “I think I should be a tour guide to people who are leaving their homes for the first time ever. It’s like, if you know of a person who’s never left their home, or never left the county, call me and I’m gonna take them around.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It’s like the opposite of love is indifference, not hate.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 503: R “Ain’t no deadbeat seahorse dad!” “Well, I took what could have been a very awkward moment and turned it into a duet. That’s what you get to do when you move at the speed of a sea anemone. You should try it sometime!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Channeling my inner seahorse. Turns out it’s pretty frustrating to be a seahorse.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9653-ab10-31d7-6bd8385b8eaa"><span>GMMore: L “...they were like, ‘don’t let your art delay me from getting to see my movie!’” “I think you’re watching one of our other ‘Good Mythical Morning’ episodes.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 504: L “Sharks, known at my home as the goats of the sea, are the topic of today’s episode.” R "You have an interesting home."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Float-A-Farm." (fake Kickstarter)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Thanks for swimming your way down to the comments and leaving one. Also, you can swallow that like button.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Yeah, just be quiet." L "BUT I HAVE SO MUCH GOOD STUFF TO SAY! GOSH, NO!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You think they’re sharked out at this point?” R "No, you can't be."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I have never experienced Shark Week." R "Yeah, 'cause you've never had cable." L "I know, it's-" R "Sad." L "Well, it’s a commentary on adsense.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "That's a load of bull shark."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 505: R “Parachute from space into the pool in the backyard and emerge from the water in a tuxedo sprayed in NeverWet!” L “That’s great! It’s like, ‘why is he so dry? He’s like James Bond, but he’s dry so he’s Dry Bond!’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 506: L “I like it when somebody says, ‘I like your boots’. That’s why I wear boots all the time!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Link. Sometimes I’m blown away at how quickly you can grow a moustache. You should enter a contest or something.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9654-2f72-ddb2-a79f1ab59ffe"><span>GMMore: R “Irony makes the world go round!” “I do like things. I do like shiny things and stimulating conversation.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 507: L “Please just be happy, everyone.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091e-4d2d-9e4a-75e2f1d8c1ba">GMMore:</span> L “For every one thing that you can make, in that same amount of time, you can criticize everything that’s been made. Theory, depending on what it is that’s being made. If it’s a sandwich, well, probably not.” R “But see, we’re not talking about sandwiches, we're talking about history.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Cheers to you for being a critical thinker and a valuable viewer and if I had to choose one, I would go with b. If you have to be only one, be a viewer.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 508: R “I can’t smell you though. You’re downwind.” “Well, I don’t know how much I trust you, but I sure do trust Kevin.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “It could be your beard. I don’t know what I’m smelling.” “You’re uglier this close.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0597-e84b-e87e-16c91dc68f67">GMMore: </span>R "In many ancient cultures, like in the stone age times, the way that you would show extreme trust is to basically get naked before someone and they would grab you. They would grab your nether regions." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 509: L “I wanna hit you between the eyes with the sadness of the drought. The earth is just creaking with dryness." “Stand in my garden, girl.” “Can somebody say, PRENUP?” “There are lots of reasons the chinese dragons dance. Ask me how.” (t-shirt) (& “Ask me what they are.”) “Ask me about naked farming.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Ask me what the ladies in Uttar Pradesh India do when they want it to rain.” (t-shirt) “Go naked but wear boots.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “You can waste a lot of money on drinks, man.” “Here’s another fun fact: I did not drink water until college.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe8-db14-2751-b353e8a07b5c">R “Sky juice.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 510: L “Be friends with Andrea! It’s not too late, Andrea! We can still be friends!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “In high school, he was already an Olympian!” “I played actual sports, he played brain sports!” “If you turn into a mer-lion, I would celebrate that. I gotta say. If there was a way for you to be half mermaid, half lion, half Link, maybe a third each-.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-1ee6363b-9654-68b0-a632-b21b6d6d2ee5"><span>R “You used your brain today, already, at least three or four times!” L “Right, I am still an Olympian.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 511: L “Winklepicker. How do you pick a winkle?” “Now, I frequently middelfart. I’m just going to be honest.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Who would you like to harm, Master Link?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0fc7-9f5b-d923-7557b94ad60f">GMMore: L “I’m not afraid to show my ignorance.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 512: R “Where ya from?” L “I don’t even know because you’re staring right through my soul and it’s making me uncomfortable.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I went to a movie by myself, I’m not proud of it, but I did, and a whole family of eight came in and their kid sat right next to me.” “I don’t like smelling people in general.” “Did you see Sally today?” “Are you Sally?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “We should make a horror movie called ‘Grass.’ No.” R “It’s a documentary.” “Fart alker.” “Go and be golden.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8297-9c95-4984-e21d8de172b3">R “If I had another child and it was a girl, I would name her Sally.” “Your face is like Velcro.” “There’s a far talker out there.” “I’m a fart alker because I fart when I talk and I get far away from people so they can’t smell ‘em.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 513: R “IT MAKES BARBEQUE SAUCE! JELLO AND SMOKE IS BARBEQUE SAUCE!” “That was the most intense dry-heave in the history of ‘Good Mythical Morning.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I thought it was literally smoke sitting there.” “I think we’ve learned that if you put something that smells nasty under your nose and then put something different nasty in your mouth, nasty plus nasty equals nasty, and I’m not talking about the town in London.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 514: L "I thought that 'Single Ladies' was' All the Pringle Haters.'" "Meow sucks." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R (as a cat) Meows, purrs. "Hey, I trust you guys." "Is that a dental teaching tool? Oh, I'm so scared of dental teaching dogs!" "You're good with my tail. You're better than I am with my tail. Weird." "I'm putting my smell on you." "I used to be a lot more nimble." "You own me. Oh gosh. I own you." "Thanks for pulling all the milk out of this episode that you possibly can." "You hear about green?" "Green. It's the new thing." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "See? I'm a cat whisperer." "I'm preaching to myself, 'you're so good with cats.'" "Cat whisperer. I'm great with cats." "Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "When somebody says something you don't believe, you say it's fuzz-mustard." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "That's funny, Link." L "Thank you."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 515: L "Like a bird on a rhino, you are watching us on the internet." "But if a girl were to wink at me back in the time when I was a-vailable, then I would have been e-xcited." "If anyone ever looks at you, just assume that they like you."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I think I can handle a wink from 20 feet. If I can see your face and you wink at me, it counts." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "Hey girl. Are you related to Yoda? 'Cause yodalicious." "Hey girl. Hey girl. Yo. Sweet thang. Girl, girl. Girl, girl." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I like hot stuff but this isn't even fun." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 516: L "There are 156,179 women in the United States named Agnes and I'm positive all of them are incredibly nice women." "Snore. I just spilled hot tea on my knickers!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Chitty-faced." R "Better watch how you say that, Dick Van Dyke." "Twiddle-diddles are so Rhett! What?!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Hey" R "Rhett" L "and" R "Link" L "here." R "Sorry" L "we" R "missed" L "you." R "We're" L "somewhere" R "and" L "you're" R "not."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "Spoilerer alert." L "Spoilerer." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 517: L “I think that fingernails are one of the most awesome parts of the human body.” “Show me a rock climber without nails and I’ll show you a dead rock climber!” “She killed herself picking something out of her ear.” “I can’t even look directly at you because you are perfect.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I don’t care what you do to a pinky toe, you can’t make it look good.” “It’s like the nail that couldn’t.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Looking at nails just opened me up to a world of happy.” “And I looked down at it and I said, ‘Come hither, I need band-aid.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe9-3232-b4d1-b27a5d1dd3b8">R (making fun of L) “And ya know what, that would have been horrible because I personally believe that the fingernail’s one of the most important body parts, and if you lose that, you’ve lost your soul.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 518: L “I can see how I could be someone’s dad-mom after that.” “Everything under this robe is 100% man.” “I just went from ‘Sons of Anarchy’ to ‘Sims’ character.” “I’m gonna create another orifice in your body with a fire poker.” “I’ve no depth perception.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Hey, you wanna sofa?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “I secretly would love to have, like, a sleeve of tattoos.” “Are you asking me if I’m gonna pull a ‘Shane Dawson’?” “I will say on a bi-monthly basis, I look at myself in the mirror and I’m like, ‘It’s time for a change.’” "Good on you, man, for doing what I can't do. You're more of a man than me in that area..." "Get my musket!" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Maybe I’ll grow wings and shave my beard.” L "Why don't you grow wings and just fly up my butt?" </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-6202-5bd1-eceb-610bf0cf2053">R “You’re the worst insulter I’ve ever heard in my life!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’d like to see you and Shane Dawson fight.” L “I’ve never fought anybody in my life, even mentally.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 519: L “Now, she’ll say anything, right?” Hannah “Yeah, she does seem really hip, cool, and with it.” L “And pantsless at times.” Hannah “Only in my dreams.” R “Oh.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I see women as quote-worthy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That’s, like, the married man’s version. ‘That’s what she expected.’” “We’ll swallow pennies in a taco if we have to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40ca-b4f2-e367-39847278fd3a">L “Who reads a cookbook, a recipe book on the toilet?” R “It’s pretty much my number one thing, guys.” L “It should be your number two thing.” Hannah “Oh! That’s what she expected.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 520: R “Gimme some tattoo right there, Mr. tattoo man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I thought Pikachu was in a skin tight yellow suit.” R “I think he’s just an animal, a naked animal.” L “There’s a zipper on the back.” R “Really?” L “Just look closely.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "I can't tell where that woman starts and the dog stops!"</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 521: L “I believe so strongly about this that I have even switched overs to unders in stranger’s homes.” “Don’t say the word splatter.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Anytime I accidentaly but an over in my house, I’m gonna do the little motel thing just to make myself feel high class.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “...efficiency should not be valued over flexibility. I believe that flexibility makes you a person that is easier to get along with, is easier to have a relationship with, is easier to work with, etcetera.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Efficiency and control are not the same thing.” “I think we both have things to learn here.”</p>Rhett & Link Video Links, & more!tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-01-10:2452419:BlogPost:20940142016-01-10T02:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p>(Jan 9 2016)</p>
<p>For your convenience, here are some links to episodes, Facebook videos, Kommunity events, their podcast, and YouTube playlists I have found or were presented to me over the past few months while getting lost in the internet looking for some R&L content as I grew to enjoy their videos more and more each day. Some may overlap in the playlists, but there's more unique stuff on there. Enjoy! </p>
<p>(If something shouldn't be here, let me know!) …</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p>(Jan 9 2016)</p>
<p>For your convenience, here are some links to episodes, Facebook videos, Kommunity events, their podcast, and YouTube playlists I have found or were presented to me over the past few months while getting lost in the internet looking for some R&L content as I grew to enjoy their videos more and more each day. Some may overlap in the playlists, but there's more unique stuff on there. Enjoy! </p>
<p>(If something shouldn't be here, let me know!) </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">"R&L Facebook Video Masterpost," created by graveyard-whistler on Tumblr: <a href="http://graveyard-whistler.tumblr.com/post/132884309945/rl-facebook-video-masterpost">http://graveyard-whistler.tumblr.com/post/132884309945/rl-facebook-video-masterpost</a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>"Kommunity Timeline", created by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Gumbo123" target="_self">Gumbo123</a>: </span><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/the-kommunity-timeline"><span>http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/the-kommunity-timeline</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>"Rhett & Link Interviews", discussion <span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-25ff-522b-3164-88acbf1c0dd5"><span>posted by</span><span> </span><span><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Centauromadoose">Victoria (Centauromadoose)</a>: </span></span></span><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/forum/topics/rhett-and-link-interviews?id=2452419%3ATopic%3A2064034&page=2#comments">http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/forum/topics/rhett-and-link-interviews?id=2452419%3ATopic%3A2064034&page=2#comments</a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>"Ear Biscuits" on iTunes:</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>and SoundCloud</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits</span></a> <span>(link to individual episodes in blog post)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-25ea-1d31-8894-ee9be7478733"><span>"Song Biscuits" (it's on GMM channel): </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ49NV73ttrvgyM4n5o-txRnMXH3pNnjK"><span>https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJ49NV73ttrvgyM4n5o-txRnMXH3pNnjK</span></a></span></span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>From R&L’s channel, “Liked videos.” </span><a href="https://youtu.be/KK9bwTlAvgo?list=LLbochVIwBCzJb9I2lLGXGjQ"><span>https://youtu.be/KK9bwTlAvgo?list=LLbochVIwBCzJb9I2lLGXGjQ</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>"Hidden Annotations from R&L music videos" (playlist) </span><span><a href="https://youtu.be/FJuwsrbB8GE?list=PL4DA39F81E43515F8">https://youtu.be/FJuwsrbB8GE?list=PL4DA39F81E43515F8</a></span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>"Unlisted and Rare Videos" (playlist) <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWJ_ndYMYo16XxRm9uFrqTLSViFk4ZVv%C2%A0">https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqWJ_ndYMYo16XxRm9uFrqTLSViFk4ZVv </a>;</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Rhett & Link - Ultimate Unlisted Collection [IN PROCESS] <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbrl1n-vsswwAg9a3w5X2FDvPe0XJir3s">https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbrl1n-vsswwAg9a3w5X2FDvPe0XJir3s</a></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Rhett and Link 2010 Vlogs:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaTa4Lmvqu1ZMcg3w6AL0qbw7FS0-SvPc"><span>https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaTa4Lmvqu1ZMcg3w6AL0qbw7FS0-SvPc</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>"Rhett and Link real life stories": (some are episodes, some are vlog type videos)</span> <span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLry5aRSYnVjITnpwGnrWRtpt-A-mIy56I">https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLry5aRSYnVjITnpwGnrWRtpt-A-mIy56I</a></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">"Rhett and Link Guest Appearances": <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEue66sXByCzOcdzF5n2Of_i01SbI9wHL">https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEue66sXByCzOcdzF5n2Of_i01SbI9wHL</a></p>
<p></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>"Rhett and Link as Guests":</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_XHODvuWBkQpxpI3qPKTlE0OldXfWWRG"><span>https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_XHODvuWBkQpxpI3qPKTlE0OldXfWWRG</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>"Rhett & Link Guest Appearances (on other channels)":</span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-25e0-90c0-542d-5c094c9a9a9f"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB06A6A25C2FD0936"><span>https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB06A6A25C2FD0936</span></a></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span><span>"R&L Chronicles" YouTube channel compiled R&L videos from years 2006, 2007, and 2008, for easy viewing: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfcwBzdW9bNV_euZ3SNLYAw%C2%A0">https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfcwBzdW9bNV_euZ3SNLYAw </a>;</span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-f3a93dd0-8bde-9cf1-ca0b-7758eace4c81"><span>Penguin (YouTube channel) makes entertaining compilation videos of the R&L content:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVddYaoBG51YNFefSttyEvw"><span>https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVddYaoBG51YNFefSttyEvw</span></a></span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span><span><span><span>Isra Morinehtar (YouTube channel): some R&L-related videos you might enjoy: <span id="docs-internal-guid-f3a93dd0-8be7-6ab1-b4aa-984b1f861521"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA96KpOlPNmrxcauhWjw8sg/videos"><span>https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA96KpOlPNmrxcauhWjw8sg/videos</span></a></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span class="font-size-3"><strong>PART TWO! </strong></span>(Jan 13 2017)</p>
<p><span><span><span><span><span><span>Some more sources of random R&L material I have in my bookmarks. Victoria, you might already have some of these, but you're also welcome to see if any can be added to your interviews lists or saved in your personal libraries. :) </span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><span><span>"Big-name brands fuel Rhett & Link's funny videos" <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/talkingtech/2013/02/27/rhettandlink-ad-supported-youtube-videos/1909779/">http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/columnist/talkingtech/2013/02/27/rhettandlink-ad-supported-youtube-videos/1909779/</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><span><span>Videos by user "Sofis90" on Vimeo: <a href="https://vimeo.com/user14671175">https://vimeo.com/user14671175</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><span><span>"List of Good Mythical More Episodes" from Wiki: <a href="http://rhettandlink.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Good_Mythical_More_Episodes">http://rhettandlink.wikia.com/wiki/List_of_Good_Mythical_More_Episodes</a></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span>"Good Mythical Montage: Silly Link Voices & Noises" by "</span></span></span></span></span></span></span>ragingflip" on YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtO78D4BSx4&t=1s">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtO78D4BSx4&t=1s</a>. The user also has another video called "Good Mythical Montage: Rhett Likes To Eat".</p>
<p></p>
<p>Rhett and Link's Flickr: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/rhettandlink/">https://www.flickr.com/photos/rhettandlink/</a></p>
<p>Here's also search results for "rhettandlink" on Flickr: <a href="https://www.flickr.com/search/?q=rhettandlink">https://www.flickr.com/search/?q=rhettandlink</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>Rhett and Link's Myspace page (I linked straight to "Videos" here): <a href="https://myspace.com/rhettandlink/videos">https://myspace.com/rhettandlink/videos</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>This cool picture of the guys, "YouTube Creator 180 Photo": <a href="http://youtubecreators.pixperience.ca/photo/110594713">http://youtubecreators.pixperience.ca/photo/110594713</a></p>
<p>(I don't know when it was done or published.)</p>
<p></p>
<p>"A Brief Interview with Rhett and Link, Commercial Kings": <a href="http://www.ifc.com/2011/06/a-brief-interview-with-rhett-a">http://www.ifc.com/2011/06/a-brief-interview-with-rhett-a</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"The Undisclosed Location!!" by Denise: <a href="http://www.knitchat.com/2008/07/18/the-undisclosed-location/">http://www.knitchat.com/2008/07/18/the-undisclosed-location/</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"The RhettandLinKast Live Archive" on Dailymotion: <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/randlkast">http://www.dailymotion.com/randlkast</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"RhettandLink" videos on Dailymotion: <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/rhettandlink">http://www.dailymotion.com/rhettandlink</a>.</p>
<p>Not sure if the videos were posted there before, at the same time or sometime after they were posted on YouTube.</p>
<p></p>
<p>"Rhett & Link uncut" on WRAL.com: <a href="http://www.wral.com/news/local/video/4036597/">http://www.wral.com/news/local/video/4036597/</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"Comic Innocence" on Royalty Free Music Library. This is the music that they use for the Wheel of Mythicality outro: <a href="http://www.royaltyfreemusiclibrary.com/music-songs/Comic_Innocence.php">http://www.royaltyfreemusiclibrary.com/music-songs/Comic_Innocence.php</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"gmm outfit archive" by rhettsglasses on Tumblr: <a href="http://rhettsglasses.tumblr.com/outfits">http://rhettsglasses.tumblr.com/outfits</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"<span>Rhett and Link's comedy--can 3.5 billion folks be wrong? Full show" by USA TODAY Talking Tech on Soundcloud: <a href="https://soundcloud.com/jefferson-graham/rhett-and-links-comedy-can-2-billion-be-wrong-full-show">https://soundcloud.com/jefferson-graham/rhett-and-links-comedy-can-2-billion-be-wrong-full-show</a></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span>"An Interview w/ Rhett and Link" by Anthony Ray Bench on FanboyNation: <a href="http://fanboynation.com/interview-w-rhett-link/">http://fanboynation.com/interview-w-rhett-link/</a></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span>"How To Pick A YouTube Influencer" by Katherine Boufford on Zoomph: <a href="https://zoomph.com/blog/how-to-pick-a-youtube-influencer/?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=How%20to%20Pick%20a%20YouTube%20Influencer&utm_campaign=how%20to">https://zoomph.com/blog/how-to-pick-a-youtube-influencer/?utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&utm_content=How%20to%20Pick%20a%20YouTube%20Influencer&utm_campaign=how%20to</a></span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span>Internet Archive Wayback Machine: <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/">https://web.archive.org/web/</a>*/rhettandlink.com</span></p>
<p><span>Use this site to view older versions of websites. </span></p>
<p></p>
<p><span>"Fuquay's dynamic duo are Mad Men of the Web" by Josh Shaffer on </span>newsobserver.com: <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20121109070550/http://www.newsobserver.com/2010/09/19/690376/mad-men-of-the-web.html">https://web.archive.org/web/20121109070550/http://www.newsobserver.com/2010/09/19/690376/mad-men-of-the-web.html</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>Search results for "rhettandlink" on Vimeo: <a href="https://vimeo.com/search?q=rhettandlink">https://vimeo.com/search?q=rhettandlink</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>R&L related videos on Vimeo by user "Oh My Dang Things": <a href="https://vimeo.com/user48415369">https://vimeo.com/user48415369</a></p>
<p>user totallyrhettro: <a href="https://vimeo.com/totallyrhettro">https://vimeo.com/totallyrhettro</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"Rhett and Link" video on Vimeo by user Andrea Griffith: <a href="https://vimeo.com/9106769">https://vimeo.com/9106769</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"Rhett and Link Provide Half Time Show at #BlogWell NYC" video on Vimeo by user radian6: <a href="https://vimeo.com/4400271">https://vimeo.com/4400271</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"Pimp My Stroller". There's a few places that this lives on: </p>
<p>myspace: <a href="https://myspace.com/rhettandlink/video/pimp-my-stroller/1951855">https://myspace.com/rhettandlink/video/pimp-my-stroller/1951855</a>, from this Komm post: <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/forum/topics/pimp-my-stroller-where-is-it">http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/forum/topics/pimp-my-stroller-where-is-it</a><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/forum/topics/pimp-my-stroller-where-is-it%C2%A0"><br/></a></p>
<p>DailyMotion: <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ky16_pimp-my-stroller_fun">http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ky16_pimp-my-stroller_fun</a><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1ky16_pimp-my-stroller_fun%C2%A0"><br/></a></p>
<p>veoh: <a href="http://www.veoh.com/watch/v282438z92q4e2t">http://www.veoh.com/watch/v282438z92q4e2t</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"Mythical Fashion" on Tumblr, for clothes the guys wear and where you can get them: <a href="http://style-a-mythicalbeast.tumblr.com">http://style-a-mythicalbeast.tumblr.com</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"RandLstyle" on Tumblr: <a href="http://randlstyle.tumblr.com">http://randlstyle.tumblr.com</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"Comment Links to Clothes That Rhett and Link wear!" Kommunity post by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Bella850">Hayleigh (GMM Captionist)</a>: <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/group/mythical-wardrobe/forum/topics/comment-links-to-clothes-that-rhett-and-link-wear">http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/group/mythical-wardrobe/forum/topics/comment-links-to-clothes-that-rhett-and-link-wear</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>Rhett & Link's Free Credit Score Commercials, some of them. Seems the original individual videos are now unavailable (<a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/posts/120806451439956">https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/posts/120806451439956</a> and many other sources). "The "Make A Better Commercial Than We Did" Contest: Watch Week 4's Winning Ending (VIDEO)" on The Huffington Post: <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/20/rhett-link-funny-freecreditscore-contest-winner_n_2916026.html">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/20/rhett-link-funny-freecreditscore-contest-winner_n_2916026.html</a> (Credit to Milli for sharing this with me) </p>
<p></p>
<p>Rhett and Link article on World Library: <a href="http://www.worldlibrary.org/articles/rhett_and_link">http://www.worldlibrary.org/articles/rhett_and_link</a> (Not sure when posted or if being updated) </p>
<p></p>
<p>"Food Network Takes Down Post Promoting Ridiculously Racist 'Guacamole Song'" by Gustavo Arellano on OC Weekly: <a href="http://www.ocweekly.com/restaurants/food-network-takes-down-post-promoting-ridiculously-racist-guacamole-song-6614068">http://www.ocweekly.com/restaurants/food-network-takes-down-post-promoting-ridiculously-racist-guacamole-song-6614068</a>.</p>
<p>and</p>
<p>"#NoMames Guacamole Song: Why, Food Network, Why?" by Latino Rebels: <a href="http://www.latinorebels.com/2014/01/30/nomames-guacamole-song-why-food-network-why/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=nomames-guacamole-song-why-food-network-why">http://www.latinorebels.com/2014/01/30/nomames-guacamole-song-why-food-network-why/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=nomames-guacamole-song-why-food-network-why</a></p>
<p>---I originally saw these two above from this reddit thread: "Do you guys have a record of any GMM controversies throughout the year?" by GigaGZPH: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/rhettandlink/comments/5ykpgo/do_you_guys_have_a_record_of_any_gmm/">https://www.reddit.com/r/rhettandlink/comments/5ykpgo/do_you_guys_have_a_record_of_any_gmm/</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>YouTube Poop (YTP) channels, featuring a few GMM related videos (Warning: mature content. If you don't see Rhett & Link videos right away, just search either their names or GMM in the channels' search boxes): <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcTwXGRqa70aN1twkGj3qSg/videos" target="_blank">An Electronic Rabbi</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwXo550bSNViUylWjncHfZw/videos?shelf_id=0&view=0&sort=dd" target="_blank">rustybacon</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvucBgX1R4RqWo5vJtqMBaA/videos" target="_blank">TheCanadianPooper</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/MaxwellChillington/videos" target="_blank">MaxwellChillington</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCffq93XVfd0DvaKly4pCtzQ/videos" target="_blank">Shuck a Cuck</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/wilberforce95/videos" target="_blank">Will Becker</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2Lnzuo7LWiCqTOrlnZiiMQ/videos" target="_blank">Kitten</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2Lnzuo7LWiCqTOrlnZiiMQ/videos" target="_blank">Jimmy Davis</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdk8ZKK_1H_oNL7eOy8jwNQ/videos" target="_blank">Lets Get Mythical</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCENidInfY6XZdHMCQhGdzfQ/videos" target="_blank">SuperMeme</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/TheSharkeee/videos" target="_blank">That One Guy</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/TheTrippyTippy/videos" target="_blank">TheTrippyTippy</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUQTtE1jAnFPWOk_emer7bA/videos" target="_blank">Simis [YTP]</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQEVAriE6ag" target="_blank">Skizzie</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1YPvxzd0tFjDYwoayAsyYA/videos?view=0&sort=dd&shelf_id=0" target="_blank">Punky Yoshi Tahtipolya</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCDl496fa5s" target="_blank">FoxyJen</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"Friday 11.20", Raleigh, <em>Looking for Ms. Locklear, </em>NC Museum of History, article on Indy Week (The Independent Weekly): <a href="https://www.indyweek.com/indyweek/friday-1120/Content?oid=1298786">https://www.indyweek.com/indyweek/friday-1120/Content?oid=1298786</a></p>
<p></p>
<p>"Lumbee Federal Recognition Update", Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina <a href="http://www.lumbeetribe.com/single-post/2016/12/29/Lumbee-Federal-Recognition-Update" target="_blank">http://www.lumbeetribe.com/single-post/2016/12/29/Lumbee-Federal-Recognition-Update</a>.</p>
<p></p>
<p>"Former Lumber Tribal Chairman Jimmy Goins killed in car accident", Wral.com <a href="http://www.wral.com/former-lumbee-tribal-chairman-jimmy-goins-killed-in-car-accident/14696835/">http://www.wral.com/former-lumbee-tribal-chairman-jimmy-goins-killed-in-car-accident/14696835/</a>. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Goins" target="_blank">Jimmy Goins</a>, Wikipedia. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Goins.%C2%A0"><br/></a></p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 183-369tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-01-07:2452419:BlogPost:22769822016-01-07T01:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Jan 6 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post: GMM 1-182</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, …</strong></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Jan 6 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">First post: GMM 1-182</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 668-815</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 816-968</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 969-Current</a></strong></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 183: L “Rhett & Link yard art. That’s a whole new frontier for our store.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’m fancy, Link!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 184: L “The rush of being a hero is amazing. I love it!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 185: L “That’s what I wanna be in life, an awesome talker.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 186: R “I’m volunteering to be your sidekick because I don’t think there’s ever been a 6 foot 7 sidekick.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Traffic Man and Cone Boy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 187: L “It’s hard not for me not to be a party pooper, you know, but-.” R “That starts with a ‘p.’ You could be a party pooper.” L “Okay.” R “It’s like, ‘Kids, hey. I’m a party pooper. I’m dressed as myself.’” L “Thanks for that, Rhett.” R “I gave you an out.” L “And now I get candy for myself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (singing->) “Single rainbow all the way across my couch!” “You guys just stay at home. I’ll go and earn all the candy because I can do an amazing dance. It’s the furry dad dance. I’m doing it right now and I’m uncomfortable being in front of it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-5af3-9cd4-ec36-b58ad835cf79">R “You may not always have cardboard laying around to create your Chewbacca costume, but that doesn’t really matter when you resemble Chewbacca naturally.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 188: R “As you spin that wheel, let me put this thought in your head. Time Rangerers. Emmy.” L “You mean like my ex half-sister Emmy?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 189: L “‘Dipping in the Kool Aid.’” R “This is when someone becomes convinced that prison is awesome.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘Keister.’” R “What they call Easter in prison. Happy Keister!” L “If someone wishes a you ‘Happy Keister,’ run.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘Monkey mouth.’” R “Cold sores. Look at that. He’s got a horrible case of ‘monkey mouth.’ Don’t kiss him, grandma!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 190: L “I think there’s something in every man who wants to take a space and then make it submit to him.” “...I had just given plasma cause that’s how I made money in college. I’m not ashamed to admit it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Did you invite me into this hideout?” L “Yeah, but I said, ‘Don’t drink from that straw. That’s my latrine.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Now, this is the front door of our dorm room and everyone in our hall had a white board where people could put messages. I think ours says, ‘Link, yore mom called.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We were bunkin’. We were gonna be bunk buddies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is the best room on NC State’s campus and it’s no longer a dorm room unless they’ve reversed the policy. It’s a sad day.” L “Maybe we can go back there and be squatters.” R “Really?” L “Yeah.” R “This time, I get the top bunk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 191: L “We are making history right here.” R “Well, I think everybody doing anything is making some kind of history. The question is, is it significant history.” “That’s what the present is, Link. It’s nothing. It’s just simultaneously entering into the past and entering into the future. I should write a book about this! ‘The Present Doesn’t Exist’ by R.J. McLaughlin.” “I mispronounced my own last name cause I’m thinking of myself as a writer.” “I’m trying to launch my writing career.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We’re friends, but there’s a process here.” R "I'll tell you what the process is. I'm gonna find out where you're mountain biking and I'm just gonna show up and follow you.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 192: R “This is like the time we shared a sleeping bag- oh, we’re not supposed to talk about that.” L “No comment.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Wake up! You don’t even know who Iceman is.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6769-0c0f-5e5b-cc6693a73993"><br/> GMM 193: L “Die, cut!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 194: L “Grooming my arm hair is something that I just wanted to be special to me.” “Yes, I groom my arm hair before we shoot every episode of ‘Good Mythical Morning.’” “I’m going to miss this chair. I love this chair.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You don’t want to see my without a beard.” “I believe you can grow a moustache.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 195: R “The overall winner of Supernote 2012 is GenericTechGuy!” GenericTechGuy’s Supernote was 165 seconds long, that’s 2 minute and 45 seconds.” “There is something that we should all be proud of, mythical beasts, and that is, once again, same as it was in 2010, we had the longest average Supernote of any team in the competition at 28.4 seconds. We have the best set of lung capacity, best Supernotes of any team. You’re not surprised, you know that. You knew that this was going to happen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 196: Chuck Testa: (to R) “You can be the president.” “Absolutely, because if I don’t like ya, I’ll just assassinate ya!.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “ You're gonna give me the privilege of being the president?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 197: Joe: “Barheta.” “Goodbye other partners!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve had an aversion all my life. In fact, this is a family thing. This is a McLaughlin thing. We have an aversion to vomiting. In fact, there was a point while I was in college that my brother, my dad, and I, combined, had a 50 year non-vomit streak as the men in the McLaughlin family.” “I had so much pride in this that I used to write for our college paper at NC State and I wrote an article about it.” “You feel like an animal when it’s happening, too. You feel like an alien.” “Link’s gonna have a moustache when he comes back. He’s doing the Movember thing.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6766-4351-0e45-cbf9f6880ca9"><br/> GMM 198: Shephard: “I want one of those fire [things].” R “One of these?” S “What do those do?” R “Just eat it. Don’t ask any questions. Just eat it. Just put it in your mouth. Don’t smell it. Just put it right in your mouth. Put it right in your mouth. Put it right in your mouth. Put it right in your mouth. Put it right in your mouth. Just put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth!” Locke “Give you six Pokemon!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 199: <span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6765-dc68-d3c9-4277e2a1a633">R “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my co-host for today’s episode...Today, it’s mustached Link.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I would pass by mirrors and give myself a double-take. I was like, ‘Who is that ‘70s-era detective who keeps following me in mirrors?’” "All French games are befuddling." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Those are what they call, ‘soft balls.’” L "Which, incidentally, is the next James Bond movie." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Author Ian Fleming was an avid bird watcher and named the character James Bond after famous ornithologist James Bond, studier of birds." L "I hope that that's true." R "It is true." L "Awesome! I love that! That's my favorite fact on earth now!" R "And he thought James Bond was suitably brief and unromantic. Interesting how that happens." L "Well, when you love birds, you got little time for much else."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 200: R "The show is brought to you by the show." L "Can that even be happening?" R "We make the rules, man!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "And it's getting colder, I'm realizing the benefits of a warm upper lip. You never told me about how warm your upper lip was." R “Boy, I could grow a beard all over me if I could.” L "Like a bear?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Body Beard. You know what? We should sell that. I think it's called a sweater." "It's made of the hair of donated beards." L "The beginning of a business just happened." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 201: L “I’m divin’ in, baby!” “Kids starts coming up to me, usually just my kids.” “I have three kids for a reason, so they can warm each other when the winter hits. That’s the only reason I have multiple kids. I was an only child and I was cold as a child.” “What is the beep boop boops? There’s no beepin’ and the boopin’ and the boppin’ anymore! What’s happenin’?” “I’m thinking about burning dung.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40f6-689d-2c28-76d3fad1bb3f">R “Kids start coming in the windows.” “...and as I’m doing this, I have one of these moments, that this happens to me fairly often,” L “You black out.” R “when I realize I am living in the future...” “It’s like, sometimes, I feel as if I have been transported from the past and here I am.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 202: R “I sleep standing up, every Thursday night.” L “Really?” R “Yeah.” L “I always thought we were working on Thursday nights.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Do horses sleep with their eyes open, or just standing? Don’t answer that. It’s a trap. That question was a trap.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I feel stupid wearing the neck pillow, much more than wearing the upright sleeper. It’s like, you look like you’ve been injured.” “You look like you’ve been in an accident. ‘Sorry, sir. You okay? No, I’m just trying to nap.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I would definitely put this thing on in my house to block out my family.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 203: L “Who knew that carrots came in seeds?” R “Uh, me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 204: L “...for all you vegans watching, we love ya. We love you. So, we’re all friends here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6bc5-4c07-f757-8497b5a71df8"><span>L “I’m thinking pizza. From, Link.” R “I’d like pizza for lunch. Sincerely, Rhett.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 205: R “My mom was a man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I like the idea of just getting precisely what I need from a hotel which is rejuvenation; sleep.” R “You are a slave to your own efficiency and that’s okay. That makes you, you’re a very efficient person. That’s why you were an industrial engineering major, so the efficiency of this system-” L “Okay, I’ll take that as a back-handed compliment.” R “-appeals to you." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 206: L “I’ve never eaten a Twinkie and now, I will never be able to.” L “Okay, come back through, you worthless little piece of Twinkie horn! Brought to you by Little Debbie?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “To me, that’s like a modern person saying, ‘I’ve never had a shower.’” “Twinkie spread! I got four twinkies and I am not going to tell you how me and Jason acquired these because it may not be legal.” “One’s pointing at you, one’s pointing at me, one’s pointing at Jason and one’s pointing at the future.” “I’m glad I’m here for this. You’re becoming a man.” “You’re becoming an American man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 207: R “Time to learn some stuffing about Thanksgiving.” L “Let's talk about that. Stupid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I eat like a whole half of a turkey, though.” “I could have that cream of mushroom injected right into my vein. I would just eat that right up.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6bc5-9c9f-bc3a-d50eb738c588"><span>L “Turkey is giving it up. Give it up, turkey. I do not eat turkey. I eat ham. I don’t like turkey and I’m still a person. I’m still a human being.” “Sugar was a luxury. They did not have-a da sugar. I do not have-a enough sugar to make-a da cranberry.” “We learned something today, and I’m happy about it!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 208: segment called “I’m Thankful for…” (can take many quotes from this)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I know one of those if I ever looked at it, which I had never really wanted to.” R follows w/ “Happy Thanksgiving. Pass the cranberry sauce.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Don’t look at the scrotum when eating anything. Nothing tastes good when looking at a scrotum.” "You know, um, well all these years, I mean...what gender did you think I was?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 209: L “Literally, life is being SUCKED out of me to be in a shopping place.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 210: R “If your wife wants a Furby, you’re doing something wrong.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 211: R “Alone, we’re very stupid, but together, we’re almost as smart as a smart person.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-09a6-2c8c-a54b-7eae2bd0942e">"I just think...we should hold hands wherever we go and be prepared for anything."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 212: R “But 3 is like the envelope has come out and there’s like hobbit blood all over the floor.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 213: R “I wanna be a monk with a family.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 214 R “You ever go through those moment in life, Link, where you feel like a wound, a scab is being removed from a wound and you just well up and you start crying? That’s happening to me like every fifteen minutes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-f52d-6405-aa39-3265120128ac">L “And that’s when I said, ‘That’s not my finger.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON THREE </strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 215: L "Whoever invented the vest gets a left-handed salute from me. Thank you!" “I’m more of a lumberjack kind of a guy than a fashionista kind of a guy. Definitely. Hopefully, Maybe?” “Rhett. Pants peer. Pants soiler.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-3b2b40ef-9463-8fc7-01a4-698b1f964aa6">R: “Why keep hair from growing anywhere on your body if it naturally wants to grow? It’s unnatural to stop the process, to arrest the hair. Let hair be where it wants to be. The hair wants to be right there? Let it be there!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 216: R “Link, I’m sad to say is still wearing a vest.” “I injured my shoulder playing NintendoLand.” “I think I’m a better father.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I purchased this myself so let’s not talk about my vest anymore, okay?” R “In a month, I’ll have a vest. I’ll be eating my words. I’ll have a parrot on each shoulder just pooping all over me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6bef-b8c9-b4c9-ffa56bb31920"><span>L “Now, it’s not necessarily my idea of a good time sinking my bare foot into a half-eaten soggy cheeto, but the kids loved it.” R “When you see a brown cheeto in the pool, that’s not a cheeto.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 217: L "Well, keyword, 'catharsis'. Look it up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-9706-0de0-7fa1-769b3c81fc70">R “I know what it is. It’s my nickname in high school." “In your defense, Lincoln is the most fish-like of your children.” “‘Where’s that fuel hole at?’ Sounds like an insult.” “Caught by the fuel hole.” “I’m worried about you. I’m glad you own a vest.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 218: R “My wife’s maiden name is Lane so whenever we see ‘Jessie Lane’, we see a picture of it.” L “You’ve seen that?” R “Yeah, we’ve never really taken a picture of it, though.” L “And is she in witness protection?” R “Yes.” L “Bingo!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...if I ever run face first into a fence, the very next place I’m going is a fashion show.” “I think it is my life-long dream to be a room inspector.” “If I have another child, I’m definitely going to name him ‘Sheeder.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Everything you send us that we deem appropriate for the Mythical Mail Boulder, that’s what I’m gonna call it. We’re gonna take and we’re gonna glue it together. This thing’s gonna get huge! I don’t know what we’re gonna do with it.” “I just think it’s a way to create something that represents all of our efforts together...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6bf0-292d-1f38-aa4cf4511074"><span>L “This thing could be huge, people. We might have to rent space for it. Who knows. It’s gonna be amazing.” R “‘Storage Wars.’ It’ll be featured on an episode of ‘Storage Wars’?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 219: R “We should sell pants… Let’s just become like J.Crew.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757c-f3ea-2e8d-c8bef872928a"><span>R “I write my science teacher letters.” L “Write mr. science teacher a letter, people.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 220: R “Me and you are not spring chickens.” “Listen, I do all the thinking for both of us, so all you gotta do is just sit here and enjoy the ride.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-711a-1628-12c5-a62d06b6f59f">L "As you know, old people love trash music.” “...I don't believe in retirement. Nope, that's the lazy man's excuse for just giving up on life.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 221: L “So I am a closet exerciser and you are a pathetic loser.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you’re one guy, you just need another guy...and 2 weights. 2 Guys 2 Weights.” “Can you say Tumblr gif?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Harness the awkwardness!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 222: L “Did you get the memo? It’s authentic t-shirt and memo day!” “A mamajamo nanny! A mamajamo! Whoa!” “I don’t know what it is, I just want it in a sandwich!” “Palegg it up!’ “Nothing beats the yaghan language.” “I don’t want to Koi No Yokan the bear! Why don’t you Koi No Yokan the bear.” “Oh, baby. Come here so I can cafune you. I want to cafune your hair.” “Go cafune yourself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I will say that my wife said last night, she said, ‘I think it might be time to trim the beard.’ I said, ‘Really? I was just waiting for the green light from you, baby.’ But I’m gonna give it another-you know. It’s starting to go into my mouth. I’m starting to taste things that were on the beard earlier.” “It happens during Koi No Yokan, leads to cafuning.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757d-28cf-568a-412955540895"><span>R “My mom watches every episode.” “She’ll text me, she’ll call me.” “She says, ‘I feel like I get to connect with you every single day.’ L “Mama Di, thanks for watching.” R “Love you, mom.” L “Name is Diane. We call her Mama Di.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 223: R “There’s a trash truck going by right now but it’s not playing music, and that disappoints me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Never make eye contact with the guy you’re exercising with.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 224:L "This is to help you elongate your life because I care about you." "I don't want you to die, prematurely." “It’s like a burger version of a Death Star.” “There’s nothing better to talk about while taking a huge bite of that than colorectal cancer.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Why? Cause 'Link.com' is taken." “Whoo, boy. That’s what I was MADE FOR RIGHT THERE!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 225: R “But you know what they say about guys with bowties.…that guy with the bowtie? I don’t like that guy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "We do not take lightly the fact that we are privileged to be able to do this." "Fostering mistrust with all his children. The father of the year."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 226: R “I care more about William Shatner than you do because I just want to enjoy his presence and his voice and his trucker hat and let him enjoy his dinner and his life with his kids…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Did you take a photo?” R “No, you’re that guy. I’m not that guy.” L “But that’s why I need to be with you. I should have been there!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love freakin’ medallions. I have a medallion on now, but it’s got something personal on it so I’ve got it under my t-shirt.” R “A picture of me?” L “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “People are complaining about how I spin the wheel. Why don’t you come here and spin the wheel? Thank you very much.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757d-8cf8-0347-4786f1440e27"><br/> <span>GMM 227: L “...sometimes when I feel bad, like I want my heart to be warmed, I will think to myself, ‘I want pizza.’” “If I was going to heist a place,... it would be a Papa John’s. I freaking love Papa John’s. Have I already mentioned that when I’m depressed, I want pizza?” “I love Papa John’s pizza. It makes me so happy.” “I feel so vulnerable in a good way.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 228: R “You totally disrespected my wife. You stuck your spoon into my wife’s peanut butter and her nutella!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 229 (*This episode is long on purpose. It played 3x over for the holiday.): R “I’ve known you for quite a while and I’ve never known that Groundhog Day is your favorite holiday.” L “I just decided. It wasn’t before today.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love the weather, man. You know that about me.” You know when I was young what I wanted to be when I grew up. A weatherman!” “...I decided to do other things, pursue other paths that have led me to this, but still, in my heart of hearts, I’m a weatherman.” “Whistle when you mate. Isn’t that a song?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When I think about ‘Groundhog Day,’ I think about the movie and that makes me happy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Say you’re sorry! Say you’re sorry, boy! Say you’re sorry!” R “You’re sorry!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Say I’m sorry.” R “You’re sorry.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757d-d314-dbed-9dd9c64e5d4e"><br/> <span>GMM 230: R “...my son asked me this question, ‘where do babies come from,’ and I lied to him.” L “And what did you say?” R “I told him it had something to do with the tides.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 231: L “...today is the day, Rhett, your beard is coming off,... and if I had my way, you’re going all the way, you’re going naked face." “Where’s your bear? Do you have a pet bear?” (referring to R’s beard) “ Patrick Joron comments, ‘The Beard good gracious what happened hahahahahahah.’” "Now, when we were younger, I used to cut all of our friends' hair." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ec-de40-2220-e0a86c053597">R “I will go clean shaven for $10,000, no less.” “This past weekend, I grilled. I made some ribs and I could smell the smoke from the grill the next night when I was going to bed. I was like, ‘somebody’s grilling something.’ I was like, ‘no, it’s my beard.’” "Give me a moment of freaking silence with my own beard!" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 232: R “Over the past 24 hours, I have-” L “You’ve been doing Two Guys Two Weights.” R “I have de-aged 10 years, I’m now 25 again and I lost 15 pounds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757e-1127-8aef-3a1d7f3525ad"><span>R “Your haircut has insulted me on a root level.” “It really comes down ot the wings. It’s almost like you’re about to fly about at any moment and I realize that that was a big deal like in ‘93 and in ‘75, it was also kind of a pretty awesome thing, but you’ve been trying for 5 years to bring the wings back, but the flight has landed and I’m sorry, but I just feel like you need to change it up a little bit.” L “And the alternative is this?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 233: R “What if my thing was that I just kept my eyes closed all the time? What if everything was the same?” L “Then your eyes wouldn’t pop out of your head.” R “But it was just my thing.” L “Well, you would seem like you wouldn’t have eyesight.” R “I would seem like I was constantly enjoying the moment.” L “Or constantly smelling something, something that smells good.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m gonna read a letter! I’m gonna read a letter!’ (singing) “Have a Twinkie on me! I think that’s a song.” “Oh, look at me. I got beads for eyes. I look like a possessed hawk.” “I know, I can tell you care about me by shooting at my face.” “Name your price, Mark. Name your price. We will buy this pinball machine. We must have it, or a replica or something.” “He was killed in the line of algebra.” “This guy has muscles and a tan. This can never be Rhett.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (singing) “Just have a Twinkie. Just have a little Twinkie on me.” “Think about what I’m gonna look like when I get old. You’re gonna be embarrassed to be with me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 234: L “I love Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart tastes goood!” “We’re taking this really seriously. It’s like everything depends on this.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You could be the poster boy for Wal-Mart. “It all tasted great to me!” “Just how I like my ice cream, on a plate.” "You're like a depressed cheerleader." "I'm the generic expert." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We are getting a lot of treats today.” L “We deserve it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 235: R “I live by my own rules.” L “And my main rule is Burger King.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It killed him, it’ll kill us all! Line ‘em up, people!” “Ewww! Respect.” “I bet everybody’s like, ‘pshh, I’ve seen this one before’ and they just slam the door. ‘They’re doing the funeral prank, man. They’re gonna say they all want a Whopper and they wanna put one on the dead guy’s coffin. Don’t fall for that man. It’s just YouTube. They’re just trying to put over on- Oh, no, that really is him. He is dead. Give him a Whopper.’” “Endorse my life in death.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-9956-9d8f-a6d5-077b9341d487"><span>R “I’ll shake your hand right now. I will try to work out a way to get R. Kelly to sing at your funeral.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 236: R “How did you know that I was gonna fire you today?” L “This is not about - well, you don’t have that power, my friend. This is not about me, is it?” R “I think I do. Look at the corporate book.” L “I’m not gonna be - we have a corporate book?” R “Yep. See?” L “No. For the record, I know that we do. If the lawyers are watching, we know about the corporate book and it’s all filled out appropriately.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-a46e-ed67-d5ee-deaae96c8cdb"><span>R “Now, there’s an opening for the second guy in the bobsled because he has no skill at all, he just sits there so I thought you could do that.” L “Well, the way I see it, there’s also an opening here for a guy who just sits here.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 237: L “This is the evening card.” “What happens after the card is private. I’ll just leave it at that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 238: L “The Linkster reigns down on you!” “I love rest stops. Should I say that out loud?” “Reigning supreme, brother!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Bacon was not meant to be liquefied.” “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Don’t look a bacon drink in the spout.” “Women love bacon breath.” “Barry sent some balls from Nebraska.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Barry’s balls are really going well on the boulder.” L “Yeah, let’s do that again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 239: L “How do you accidentally eat a blueberry?” R “I have a blueberry tree in my room.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t you watch television?” L “No. Should I?” R “Yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 240: L “I’m a good blind guesser.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 241: L “I have this fear whenever I go into a public restroom and I swear to you, every single time I go into a public restroom, there’s something in the back of my mind that says, ‘Hold on, are you in the women’s restroom?’” “I’m a bull, baby. I’m a bull.” “Men pee on everything.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I want you to carry on my mission to get women everywhere to use urinals.” L “That’s it? That’s your last request?” R “Promise me you’ll get women to use urinals.” L “I promise. Syche.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-a46e-77a8-29de-3c9c0c2c872c"><br/> <span>GMM 242: L “I think if you’re concerned about your cool points, then maybe it’s too late, but if you just wanna express yourself and be part of a movement, even if you join late, sure you don’t have those bragging rights, but it’s not about being cool, it’s about having fun, people. It’s never too late.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 243: R “I’ll eat anything twice.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 244: L “Smartness is not the only thing that matters, you know. Goodness matters.” “Don’t act like you’re okay with being stupid when you’re not.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Do you think that you’re smart?” R “Well, you know. Uhhh, what do you mean by ‘smart’?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 245: (the long speeches to their “space”)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I mean, this is a two-way street. I mean, stop your bickering!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-a46f-528a-c663-5d7a88bcbca7"><span>R “Gonna have to start selling plasma again.” “Welcome to California.” “My choice is that we end this episode with Link talking on the phone to a cable provider so we can get internet. It’s funny how things work out that way sometimes.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 246: L “Whenever you move into a new facility, you should always wear the same outfit as the person that you do internetainment with.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 247: R “When I start thinking, my hands start sweating a little bit.” L “It’s funny that your hands sweat, my hands shake. I think that’s what makes us a good comedic team, Rhett. You’re the sweater and I’m the shaker.” “If you were a shaker and a sweater, that’d be bad because then you’d be like a wet dog just throwing sweat on everybody every time…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-374f-65f5-07ff-c008d229c85c">L “Everything just gets loose by the time you have three kids.” R “Right, you don’t even feed the third one.” L “It’s just like, make your own breakfast-” R “Yeah, he’s like a cat.” L “Can you clean the house? Well, just, you don’t have a curfew, you can date anybody you want.” R “He’s only three.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 248: R “Well don’t apologize for giving me food, buddy!” “You know what they say about guys who like dark chocolate. I don’t know what they say. Use your imagination. I don’t know.” “I love cheese in so many different forms. Sticks, balls, you know, strings, blocks, crumbles, curds.” “In fact, sometimes when I use the euphemism, ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,’ I’m actually saying-I’m being serious about it. Fry me up a horse steak.” “Some of the most exciting moments in my life have been at cattle races!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I think that would make me cry. If I was eating a meatball and somebody said, ‘you know what, there’s horse in that.’ I think I too would cry unless there was cheese on it, too.” “Rhett loves horse. He eats it all the time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 249: L “I love you, Rhett, as a brother.” R “I love you, too, Link.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘...I love my wife more than I love you, Rhett.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 250: L “Don’t do as he says or as he does.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...but I don’t do what you do, I am a horn blower, and I don’t mean, like, the hobbits.” R “I am a horn blower.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 251: L “I like a black seat on the toilet.” “Did I tell you I’m a deputy?” “Hello, lady, cheeky, cheeky. I’m a deputy in Great Britain. Would you like to see my firearm?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 252: L “I’m always looking for an opportunity to wear my bolo tie.” “Southern California, you need to bring that turtleneck. It might get cold.” “You need a turtleneck if you’re going on the beach.” “Whenever I see a magician that close, I’m like, ‘dang, I want to caress your nose.’” “I will go anywhere for Rick Thomas. Rick Thomas, if you’re watching, thank you for following your dreams.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s just symbolic of the fact that things are happening.” L “Well, it’s not symbolic. It’s actually something happening. A woman looking for a knife.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 253: R “Sometimes you just got to sing a new song, you know. That’s my theme in life today!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “A mouse-sized elephant would melt my heart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I put together a blue whale and a hawk and I would call it a ‘whawk.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 254: R “That’s the Rhett & Link financial plan. Go to rhettandlink.com and spend all your money.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You see what happens, people. You tune in and you learn something and you can seem smarter to your friends. You’re not smarter, but you can seem smarter to your friends thanks to us, thanks to us. Say thanks to them.” Jason “Thanks to them.” L “Thanks to us.” Jason “Thanks to us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ad2a-dc49-43fc-11ac27c6b71c"><span>Jason: “Dinosaurs at the end of their lives.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 255: L “Can you just become me in your next lucid dream and fly?” “That’s called breakfast at your house, right?” “Let’s get a Kickstarter campaign to get you on the Price is Right.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-9706-4dd9-376e-ea2b8c7507cb">R “Sure, let me write that down.” “I woke up because my kids were yelling and fighting each other, and punching each other, gouging each other’s eyes out...You know once that happens, you can’t go back to sleep!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-28bb-d21e-d279-11d8f8fcc62e"><span>GMM 256: R “If I’m not with you, and you get lost, you could die!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 257: L “The best thing is being able to express myself and be who I truly am and still be embraced by people watching on little screens. That is what I need in life. I need a digital embrace from those people. Digital embrace.” “Aliens use existing holes when probing.” “Actually, I can’t go back to 1961. I’d like to be able to do that, but that’s time travel and I don’t believe in that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c6-f3a7-3bee-943c374d3ec7">R “You need an embrace? I can hug you! I got long arms, I can get all the way around you.” “Yeah, ‘Warp Drive and Happiness,’ it’s my favorite band in high school.” “Here’s the reality. When one of these shows starts, inevidently it must end. We don’t have a perpetual show ever. It isn’t as if the show is going to continue forever. It has an end. And when it begins, you need to be clear and understand that the ending is just a few minutes away from the beginning.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 258: L “Back when we shot the T-shirt War 2-McDonalds-Coke commercial, that’s what burned us. Halfway through, the people in charge of the whole thing came up to us and said, ‘uh, Link has on his wedding band.’...but they said ‘okay this is supposed to be roommates, single guys, you know, blah blah blah, you know, we have our reasons,’’ so we had to go in...Billy did it. He had to go in and had to hand-paint out in Photoshop my wedding band in every single frame.” R “But we hadn’t been filming all day, so it was just, like, the first, like, 10 to 15 seconds.” L “And I always forget to take it off before we shoot, so please don’t hold this against us. Our wives are fine with this. You can be fine with it, too.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Who names a fish, ‘Professor?’” L “We do.” R “You guys.” L “You do.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “The Mythical Mail Boulder is uncopyrightable!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You’re coming out of the close as a beard talker? I don’t think I should be here for this.” R “Well, you usually aren’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 259: L “I just think it’s cool that, in the land of Kentucky, that’s how you win a fight: by getting someone to eat a beard. That makes Kentucky awesome.” R “Eat your beard now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ad85-0f90-7f13-55ca153b6801"><span>R “If you can’t get drunk and get on a horse, I mean, what good is there in this world?” “When there’s multiple pictures drawn by different people that look the same, it is proof that it actually exists."</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 260: R “....and 7 hours later, you think, ‘What have I done with my life?” “There’s nothing more dissatisfying than thinking you’ve seen butt-cheeks and then you realized it’s just an armpit.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is just the optical illusion that cargo shorts are still in style."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 261: L “I’ll be honest. I was also thinking of that conversation that I knew I would have with lots of people. It’s like, ‘whoa, ‘Lando’, could your child be named after Lando Calrissian, the coolest character in all of Star Wars?’ and my response would be, ‘yes,’ and I would feel cool.” “I take pride in the fact that my name is different.” “I was going to name our daughter, ‘Ninja’, if we had another daughter, and I told Christy, ‘it’s just ‘Nina’ with a j.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-09e8-7287-8e41-78d48a74e6fe">R “We named our kids those things because both my wife and I have an interest, selfishly, in kinda seeming like, ‘oh, we’re a little different.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 262: L “What does it mean when we both wanna build something in trees?” R “It means we ought to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Link for the win! Dropkick!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 263: L “I win! I win! I win!” “I beat him in an eating contest!” “Where would I go? Um, if I had one round trip ticket on a time machine? I would back to my moment of birth and I would dress up as a wizard and I would come into the room, the hospital room, and just as I was emerging from the womb, the baby me, the wizard me that traveled back in time would go back into that moment and say, ‘Oh, alas!’ and then I would deliver some amazing prophetic thing about how this baby was gonna be awesome. ‘In foreign realms, in the distant future, this child will be amazing! Don’t worship him, but give him lots of respect.’ Then I would poof away in my time machine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think you have better insulation in your cheeks.” L “Well, thank you. Like a chipmunk.” R “Hey, that’s two things in a row you’ve won, man.” L “I’m a winner. I’m a consistent winner as of two things ago.” R “Maybe the tide is turning.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 264: R “Ladies and gentleman, for approximately the third or fourth time in my life, I have a ruptured disc.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-af02-31d9-1c5d-ed42ebfe9fa7"><span>R “We’re not gonna release this episode?” L “If we release this episode, people are gonna feel sorry the whole time-” R “Good! I need some sympathy!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 265: L "I hope you're in a good mood today, but no matter what mood you're in, I trust that this will tickle your fancy." "I promise you, your fancy will be tickled."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Should I get married today? I don’t know. Somebody trying to marry me today?” “My hunger is too sacred.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 266: L “It’s people, people.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-3b2b40ef-9464-bdb0-b36a-39570e0812a1">R “Eating is amazing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 267: R “Passion points. Did you invent that term?” L “I did. I have-” R “You should run a seminar at a hotel or something.” L “I have an IndieGoGo campaign raising money to trademark that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We’re adults now.” L “Questionable.” R “We’re equals.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “A giant can play with a Drutter!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 268: R “Sometimes you matter, sometimes you don’t matter. Depends on what mood we’re in.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>(Both singing) “Toby me, Toby me, Toby me, Toby me, Toby me.” “It’s a first name and last name. Daniels.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “For me, the answer’s easy, ‘realizing it was the story of your life, would you finish it to the end’, my answer is I would have already done that because whenever I read any book, I read the last line first. I-only the last sentence. It’s kinda like a game I play. So it’s like, I read the last sentence and cause it’s this risk of, is the very last sentence gonna spoil the last thing, and then I’m able to interpret the whole book as I’m reading to see if I’ve spoiled it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 269: L “X-men. That’s not animated.” “I am the cartoon and hum [mode?] champion.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b327-0104-295d-16f143689b73"><span>R “If we enter need to enter a humming contest, you should let me be the hummer.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 270: L “I don’t think of things from an existential standpoint because I can’t spell it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 271: L “Well, I just hang out in the shower with the water off sometimes.” R “And sing?” L “No, I do word searches.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ladies and gentleman, mythical beasts, especially those of you who have been loyal for many views and many years, we are pleased to announce that we are poised to launch our very own internet based show.” R “It’s gonna be called ‘The Mythical Show.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 272: L “You see a scorpion. What makes you get it in your mouth?” R “Hunger.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Tallest man to ever fit in a smart car.’ I could set that one right now!” L “Does anyone in the room have a smart car? ‘Cause I have a tall man and a record to break!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Wow, you have ears? You have tops of ears?” L “Shut up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The ears are going back into the garage.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 273: R “We’re in the same key of life!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b332-505d-d2f6-8672794a1ea6"><span>L “Well, if you step in it, own it. That’s what I always say. And if you land in it, crawl out of it.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 274: L “Work within our limitations.” “I remember what I said!” “I like your attitude, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Oh! You don’t like something! Big surprise there!” “When I’m an old man, I just want you to just end it. I mean, like, when I’m really old. If I make it to, like 90, just do it man.” “I don’t want it to be slow, I want you to take me out.” “I don’t listen to you!” “Gotta take a risk to be a winner.” “You’ve been tied for a long time, but you feel like you’re winning.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Jason: “You should know your own show!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON FOUR</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 275: L "What do you call that? That's called over-tight popped collar." R "It's called buttoned-up and popped up. It's called buttoned and popped up. All the kids are into it." L "You know what you should call it? A mistake."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I like cold spaghettios."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I was constantly climbing the social pyramid."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Link, I have something that I need to tell you." L "What is that?" R "Not only are you my son, but you're also my brother." L "And you're going to make out with me now?" R "No." L "Then don't grab me like that." R "It's not that kind of soap opera." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore (the first one!): L "..but there's so much more crap that happens after that, that's not worth showing you that we thought you'd be interested in." "Life doesn't end, it keeps going."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I feel like this is a good start."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 276: L “If you’ve ever wondered how to obliterate a planet, it’s with 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and then 5 more syllables.” “Who knew he’d get so upset!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Yeah, I like the name ‘Vanna’ on a woman.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b35c-2680-a0ac-ad77a673bb5a"><span>GMMore: L “I’m strong and you heard it here. Really? You think I’m strong?” R “No.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 277: L “My biggest request is for you to give me advice on how to speak.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I drink a lot of milk, I’m tall, I have a lot of hair. Psh. I mean, hey. What’s wrong with that?” “Don’t go to rhettandlink.com/facebook.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b680-0ce3-b226-259c088aaf84"><span>GMMore: R “Japan is a tributary for the internet.” “Do we need to give you, like, an energy bar or something? I’m worried about you. Google place and some other things and you know what, you’re only 35 and we’re gonna be doing this when we’re 75 and at that point, it’s just a sad state of affairs.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 278 (mislabeled as #277): L "The spiciest I get is this red shirt." "Feel like a dragon." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Your eye can't hiccup, by the way. If they can, we're gonna find out what it sounds like."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I've never been this far before." R "That's a Conway Twitty song that I really like." L (singing->) "You've never been this far before." R "I couldn't tell." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Hashtag hottest day ever. Hashtag hiccup Extravaganza." "Hashtag Can You see the Mucus Coming Out of My Nose?" "Hashtag Kleenex Please" "Hashtag That was stupid." "Hashtag Please give me some of that Ice Cream or I'll kill you in your sleep." "Hashtag Please." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Hashtag real man." "Hashtag This Ice Cream Sure Helps With That Heat That's In My Mouth." "Hashtag risk taker." "Hashtag winning."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 279 (mislabeled as #278): R “I think about Gizmo sometimes. I think about how I would love to cuddle with him. I’m just being completely honest.” “I don’t think I want to work with fancy Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m just bad with spoilers. We should just put a spoiler alert necklace around me or something.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 280: L “Laughter is like farting out of your mouth.” R “ Laughter is like a fart from your mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 281: L “...the waiter comes up and he says, ‘What would you like to drink?’ and that’s when it happened. Somewhere in the ‘drink’ verbage, spit flew out of his mouth and landed into my mouth because I was turning to look at him.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Was it a floater? Cause a lot of times, it’s such a small amount of spit that if it catches a light, it’s almost like a feather falling. That’s what I call ‘spittle.’” “This is what the social timeout is for.” “If I’m sitting there and a guy says ‘drink’ and it goes in my mouth, I’m like ‘Whoop! Time out! Just want to acknowledge you spit in my mouth. I’m gonna get it out now.’” “A social timeout is the opportunity to make a decision.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You’re the reserve. You’re on reserve for us and I’m calling you out of the reserves into active duty - Yes, I’m making a military analogy here - to start doing the social timeout.” “It can be a thing amongst our group of peoples.” “My grandma can get up off the couch and let one fart all the way to the refrigerator. It’s like a propellor.” “She’s doing okay. Shout-out to Nana. [makes farting sound]”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 282: R “You’re a comedic genius.” “You should never make a decision,a group decision about eating in a restaurant that you’ve never been at without consulting an app.” “You shouldn’t be going in blind, people! You gotta use an app to make a decision.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I feel like the empowerment quotient of our show has just gone through the roof.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b680-8d5a-3271-38ad3be2297d"><span>GMMore: R “I think, in the end, the internet is an empty place. You should not be watching this show.” L “We believe not in what we do for you.” R “Well, you should definitely not substitute the internet for real friendship, Kathleen.” L “Are you speaking from experience?” R “Yep.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 283: L “Sorry, lasagna. You can’t stick to anything. You’re really heavy. Just because you can make yourself into a good turtleneck doesn’t make you a good noodle.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 284: L "As many of you know, I am an avid mountain biker, or I mountain bike on occasion." "Life lesson here: If you wanna really experience something, you gotta go all in." "Have you never looked in a mirror?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "No professional mountain biker ever pushes up a hill." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I'm afraid of what my wife might do to me in my sleep if I turn my back to her. Just joking." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a7b-fecf-7a0a-cac8e500dd1c">“And I said, 'Dude, you told me this was your first day. I don't want advice from a guy who it's his first day. I had on a bandana and sunglasses. You’re darn right I told him that.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a7c-2a7c-37e0-c166112704ac">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "I'm now banned from 711." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R "The more details I get about this trip, I more happier I am I did not go." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 285: L “I’m more of a pantyhose guy, myself. No, I just like pantyhose. Nah, I just mean on womens. It’s like so smooth and bronze.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0ba3-a756-10b6-13eb00546003">R "Every time you put pantyhose on your head and try to surprise me, I always know it's you."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 286: R “My eyes don’t need to get any bigger. These’ll pop out of my head if they get any bigger. I’m not into this. I’m checking out now.” “I had a lazy eye for a long time and maybe sometimes, it comes back.” “I trained myself, I was like, every time I look at something, I’m really going to look at it.” “I have overcome lazy eye just in my mind.” “My tongue is seriously going in a circle. What is wrong with me? Is the tongue connected to the eye muscle?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I don’t care. This is not for you, it’s for them. But, you’re gonna wish you participated, Mr. Rhett.” “Your finger’s for other things... like pointing?” “You know you’re working out when your forehead bleeds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Lots of good milk has been wasted because of bad side milk, Link.” “It was before last names. His name was, like, Hore.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Is there why there is more than one teet? So that Hore and Hunk can get their milk in tandem?” R "Yep! History class, kids." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 287: L “People will let you down, Rhett.” "So you don't have free time, but you have enough time to stumble upon something called 'foam sculpture.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I think you should create a life or death situation that when if you were to hit the snooze, it would- no, no, no, let's get rid of the snooze...the alarm clock, as it goes off, it lights a fuse which then leads to something that will incinerate your whole house-" R "The Snooze Fuse?" L "The Snooze Fuse. That if you don't-" R "snoozefuse.com. Get it, Link! Now!" L "-if you don't get up and put out the fuse, there's going to be a fire." R "Really." L "Yeah, and that's an ugly way to go." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Whe, what, ho, whoa, hey, hold on now, this is like the best idea I’ve ever had!” L "If you have free time, you need to do something for the betterment of society." R "People love art!" </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 288: L “I love the way you lie, Rhett. I know the intricacies of it, like me and Rihanna.” “Give a man an inch and he’s gonna take an inchworm.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I thought you were getting nude, because it's been on my mind."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Chigger packs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0f13-dc03-d81d-7932f1125c82">Jason: “That’s an episode: ‘How to become a Klingon.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 289: R “Purists! That’s why I wear silk underwear. Cause I’m a purist!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Now, I think this should be framed and thrown away!” “I’m bringing pencil back because of this!” “I know how to draw. According to my kids, I’m a good drawer and you’re a good drawler.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What is up with your dolphin’s butt?” L “I’m not good on proportions.” R “That’s the most obscene thing I’ve ever seen!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I needed a dolphin butt.” R “Well, you got one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 290: L “It brightens our day to know that we brighten your day. It’s like a match lighting a flame which then gets out of control so you have to stomp it out before your personal belongings catch.” R “Good analogy!” L “I’ll figure out what it means later.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I aspire to be an old person.” “Without even prompting, the day after we got back, my wife made a meal and she had a side of beans. I started eating those beans and I said to myself, ‘I really like beans, like really like beans.’ I had no idea how much I actually liked beans. My point of application here is that I’m gonna be one step closer to being like Will Rogers and I’m gonna really get into beans. I betcha there’s a bean of the month club and I actually found something. It’s called ‘Beans for a Year.’ I’m gonna get 6 pounds of beans delivered to me every quarter for a full year and I’m going to be cooking them at my house. You can come over, we’ll have beans together.” L “Never have I ever been in a more face-palmable moment.” R “I’m totally serious about this! I feel inspired...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’ll be your tour guy!” “If you know how to use a rope, good things happen.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “King of the world!” R “And I’m the queen of the world!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “No one like a half Omish.” L “Don’t go half Omish.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b697-dd78-b6ed-cc17aeccbb71"><span>R “If you’re gonna eat beans, eat as many beans as you can possibly pack into your stomach.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 291: L “Is this art?” “It has to be something that I can’t do, not something that I just didn't do. I can’t make letters, but I can put them in a pile.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b777-f41e-9801-93a1b043a35d"><span>GMMore: L “We tell each other our breath stinks all the time.” “My secret’s out. Ms. Alice used to paint me.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 292: L “You can’t de-friend somebody cause they have a problem that they’re just ignorant of or something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And you just have to say, ‘Listen, hey. I know you might-you’re’ struggling with this and I’m your friend and I want to help you with this. I want you to know, as a friend, you stank. I can smell you from here. I smell ya right now. I always smell you before I see you.’ You can tell ‘em that. ‘And I wanna help you address this problem. Let’s figure it out together. Let’s unstink you together. You know, make it like a team effort.” L “Let’s unstink you together.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Seriously, I think the key to happiness is setting low expectations.” “Yeah, send me a birthday present because Link doesn't’ give ‘em to me anymore.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 293: L “Okay. I ose, but I’m gonna lose gracefully.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I look like a sheriff that might be dancing somewhere.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Jason “I wanna ask Link if you’ve ever been in handcuffs before?” R “That’s a loaded question.” L “[That’s a] leading question. No, I haven’t. Both of my grandfathers were in law enforcement.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 294: L “Why do I care what a mice believes happened in the past?” “I remember slaughtering the turtle with my knife, sheathing it, and then celebrating, and me and my dog walking in front of the turtle girls and they were just all like, ‘Oo, I wanna date you because you can slaughter a turtle.’ That’s what happened, right?” R “Yep.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You got a little bit of a mullet thing going here.” “It’s like a duck tail.” “Anybody else want a haircut? Stevie, you want me to work those bangs back in again?” “I’m constantly cutting my haircut.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Jason “Did this just become ‘Good Mythical Haircut’?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I do feel like a little bit of a mullet is not a bad thing.” L “A little bit of a mullet is a lot of a bad thing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 295: R “I only learn inadvertently. I never learn on purpose.” (put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-340b-4f34-6ee7-eb5679c5dc6f">GMM 296: L “If you wanna move a big person, all it takes is just a little butt touch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 297: R “ I inventered, ‘inventered’ right now!” L “That’s when you invent something stupid. You inventer it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We invented ‘Internetainment.’” “I think art can make a difference when severed fingers are involved.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 298: L “I don’t consider myself to be smart enough to be a nerd. I respect nerds because they’re smart. I’m just not smart enough. I can’t achieve nerdom and I’m a big fan of Lord of the Rings so I think that...I don’t know if I’m a geek. I’m just an everyday man.” “Fun it up over there in the RhettandLinKommunity!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Can I spin the globe and wherever it lands, we will handshake in a second and we will make a music before we die in the location where it lands.” L “Okay.” R “Colombia.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 299: L “We are in the present which used to be the past or used to be the future. What?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We should have called ourselves, ‘Sparks and Honey.’ Missed opportunity, by the way!” “If you die first, I’m going to keep tweeting for you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...when I’m with a group of people in an elevator, the only thing I’m thinking is what if I get trapped with these people? Who do I team up with. It’s like ‘Survivor.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 300: L "Tasting is believing."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 301: R “I’m ready to rant, always.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “How’s the move, you freak? I’m a pillow! What is wrong with you? Put me under somebody’s else’s butt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I was already going with a different decision. That’s called ‘improv.’” “Sounds like the beginning of a commercial. ‘When I relax, I have small teeth.’” “Don’t be mad at me, orthodontic mouth-breathers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-cd62-0be3-56f6-b749b55d70ca"><span>R “‘I’ve got a license to mouth-breathe.’ That’s a shirt!” L “That no one would understand.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 302: L "Fine print coming out of your mouth." "We wanna get ship-faced." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Let's not enable shyness. Let's disable it."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I create a lot of shortness just by being myself." L "That's another t-shirt that you could [wear]. 'I create shortness wherever I go.'" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Never tease a Klingon. They'll head-butt you with that appendage." R "That's another t-shirt."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You know what shipping means right. That's, on the internet-” R “Sending something out to be received from somebody else. Going on a cruise.” L “No, on the internet, when you ship two people, you put them in a relationship together.” R “Okay. I’m married.” L “You relationship people together.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Now, we've got our relationships on lock." R “My relationship is on lock.” (t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 303: R “One foot in the grave, son.” “I don’t like to do anything on my birthday.” “Canadians know their beans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I grant wishes, I don’t make wishes. I’m not a factory.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 304: L “I know you get excited when you stroke the table.” R “When I wax on and I wax off on the table.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (acting) “I’m not gonna shoot you, I’m just gonna shove a fire poker into your brain if you don’t tell me where this five million dollars is, you old man.’ That’s what I would do. Let’s do it.” R “Do you need a pill of some sort? A tablet?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “And then all of a sudden, as I’m laying there, I hear ‘Kerchickache’ (sound effect). I’m like, ‘What was that noise?’ and Lincoln was like, ‘I just took a mental picture of this, dad.’ Pretty sweet, isn't it. I’ll never forget that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 305: L “Cereal now! Cereal, please, now! ” “Never go to a ferrari urinal alone.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “The Linkster’s good at third person.” R “Rhett thinks it helps if Linkster gives himself a nickname like Linkster. Should Rhett call himself Rhettster?” L “The Linkster agrees.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “It’s very frustrating for me to hear the dreams you have about me.” “I would love to be able to experience this dream via animation.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Keep it cool.” R “Keep it cool, man. Yeah. No reason not to keep it cool.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 306: L “I broke my board in half!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I call him ‘The Linkster’ when we’re surfing because, you know, I’m like,-” L “It’s my surf name.” R “-you become ‘The Linkster’ when you’re out there.” L “I love it! I love it when people call me ‘The Linkster.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Science is happening on my face under this bandaid right now, Linkster.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m a man wearing what could be a Christmas sweater today.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 307: R “Welcome to question nation!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Booyah! Now you see why my hair is down, okay-” L “You didn’t just say ‘booyah.’” R “I did. I been say ‘booyah’ a lot. I’m trying to bring it back. That and speed are really coming back strong.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d304-4c98-176b-c741d2407453"><span>GMMore: L “I believe in the boulder.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 308: L “I don’t always go to the grocery store, but when I do, I get cereal.” “When’s the last time we ever ate cereal together?” “We’ve never eaten cereal together, Rhett. This makes me think we should do that.” “I just proved my friendship to you by laughing in your face when you started choking.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I didn’t know cereal could make me uncomfortable.” “I mean, I was good friends with old women when I was a little kid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Every time I’m in charge of dinner, we eat cereal at my house.” “I always have some on hand. It’s like having a fire extinguisher nearby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8658-b216-fcf6-8b94566f383a">Both: “Honey Bunches Butt.” R “Hadn’t heard of that one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 309: L “...we follow trends in the world of fast food restaurants closely.” “Make along with us.” “This is like a stupid cooking show.” “We’re bringing restaurants together. We’re like the Montel Williams of fast-food restaurants.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 310: L “We want to declare hashtag war against ‘Good Morning Memphis’ and ‘Good Morning Maryland’ to get the hashtag all to ourselves.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We are good at writing jingles! It will be so catchy! Everyone will be singing it!” L “Come on, Maryland. Come on, Memphis. Work it! We can do this! You can lose this war. It’s good for everybody.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d304-9e0c-aa32-a1ac7387d3de"><span>GMMore: R “I will pay one thousand dollars out of my own personal money to have someone do a brain scan, a live brain scan of Link while we feed him different questions and, like, introduce different things to him and just see what’s going on because-”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 311: R “First of all, thank you, Mythical Beasts. You are quite a herd. You are quite an army.” “They’re so good at fighting!” “You know, you can only date other anchors when you’re an anchor. That’s the anchor rule.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Sometimes, I’ve been woken up by my mouth opening.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R - “Teeth are the hair of your mouth.” (put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 312: R "Yeah, if your butt itches in public, just go 'Help!', maybe somebody'll come up and scratch it for ya." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "As much stuff as you've spit out on this show, I get to spit out one thing a year." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I love Hawaii, I love everything about Hawaii."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 313: L “That would be awesome to get a haircut or shave via YouTube.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “A, r, m, s. That’s what it should be. ARMS.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R, then both: “We should start ARMS videos.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is it morally wrong for a robot to give a man a scalp massage if he has a wife. Put that in your ethics class next exam, ethics professors.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 314: R “I love staircases to nowhere.” L “Scarestases.” R “Yeah. Scarestases to nowhere.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Hey, I’m Rhett! Hey, man! My name’s Rhett! We should hang out! I live in a haunted house, but in October, I won’t be there.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d304-f8e0-afe5-a9ec9050771b"><span>GMMore: L “Like, I went and took my garbage out at night one time. My whole family was in the house and I still felt the need to run back in the house because in my mind, I was like, ‘there’s somebody out here lurking.’” “But you instinctively want to mate with a ghost is what I think you’re getting at. Animals like to mate with ghosts. That’s our working theory.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 315: R “It’s like I’ve bitten the toe of Satan.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 316: Llon: “I didn’t mean to touch your bicep.” Redd: “Please don’t ever do that ever again.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe2-94f4-71e5-3f328b1550e4">Llon: “You may know us from our second album, ‘Saddle Soarin',’ which went multi-platinum and by that I mean that we made it out of many layers of platinum. That was a little joke, we sold it out of the trunk of my car.” “If I ride you, then I can take you home.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 317: L “We’re also very hot, so we just don’t get spooky for anybody. Only for you do we get this hot in suits.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Purple banana.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “What’s up with my head having to go into everything?” “Did we keep the pumpkin seeds?” “Another fun fact: dolphins build nests out of grocery bags.” “They weave them like cross stitch.” “I believe in the dolphins.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0596-bd54-0639-f5b8bbb95a66">R “I like a good Jack-O-Lantern you can get a good grip on.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 318: R “‘Hashtag (#) GMM shall now and forevermore mean-” Both: “GOOD MYTHICAL MORNING.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d305-3db7-4b23-400bca46d288"><span>GMMore: R “The first thing I thought was, ‘Should I call Link’?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 319 (mislabeled as #320): R “You need to find a woman who will love you through a bomb threat.” (singing->) “I’m gonna love you through this glass like it’s not even there. In fact, I’m gonna kiss you through this glass.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40c7-b389-f89e-e53125ef7337"><span>L </span></span>“He’s not an idiotic guy, he’s just a guy.” “I’m gonna love you through the glass.” “Why was it so easy for you to recover from that? Because that was traumatic for me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You need to find a woman who will love you through a bomb threat.” “It’s not a bomb threat, it’s a bomb hoax.” “I did too and I regret it everyday, (laughs), because I was young and the things that I said was very truthful, but it was so over the top and sappy, and very much like a 22 year old’s idea of what marriage was gonna be, and now as a 36 year old, I’m like I should have done the classic vows. Just do the classic vows.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That was the most traumatic thing I have ever contributed to creatively.” “...I do not have a wedding video.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8129-806e-49b2-edfa7ace7d98">R “That was awesome, man... So that was cool.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 320: L “I like any website that the top of the website says the name of the website, including ‘.com’ again.” “What is ‘Doom music’ if that’s not even it?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “That was the best wheel ending ever!” “I’m accessible to all computers.” “We’re not old, we’re just amazing my talking on video games and videos on computers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40f5-9885-6887-fb3b0350cf99"><span>L “You’re greasy in a number of places.” “Computers would come to me and I would go on sites on them.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 321: L “We ate food out of a toilet and paid for it.” “Now, there’s plenty of restaurants that-, in the world. See you tomorrow!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-ca75-94e9-ca08-ff0ed26484d9">R “...I actually am appetized by the idea of eating out of a commode.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 322: R “We called my kids, ‘boy’, for the first year until we had decided on a name.” “‘Dangford McLaughlin’ doesn’t sound bad.” L “Yes it does. It’s got ‘dang’ as part of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “My advice is always, first of all, consider your last name being their first name.” R “Neal Neal, that would have been cool.” (singing->) “Felt like feeding a horse and it was nasty.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40c9-68d2-f0eb-238ff4c1c71a"><span>GMMore: L “I mean, when you have three kids, it doesn’t matter what you call them. You can just go nuts. It doesn’t matter.” “He doesn’t hate me. He doesn’t know any different. He thinks every other person’s names’ ‘Lando’ so it’s (can’t make this part out).” “And Lando means ‘that black guy from Star Wars’ so maybe he’ll be that one day.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 323: L “Rhett, I like you as a person, but I do not like your choice of shirt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I wanna hunt for that treasure in the Rocky Mountains that we’ve talked about. I would like to learn how to become a master cheese maker. I would like to be a mayor of a very small town at some point. I would like to live on an island by myself.. where I am trained in hand to hand combat and then when I come back I am a superhero for hire...I would like to live inside a hollowed out tree at some point and then I would like to die while performing amazing stunts at a monster truck rally late in life.... I would also like to do intense research on renewable energy sources…” “And I would like you to be a butter maker and we can go in 50/50 and I’ll make the cheese and you make the butter. it’ll be called ‘Rhett and Link’s Dairy Farm.’” “You’re the motor on my paddleboard, buddy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-072f-0e81-3719-743a5d191ef8">GMMore: R “I am very serious about making cheese.” “I am very serious about learning how to get to do hand to hand combat, but I do not want to be a superhero, really.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 324: R “Well, my nose is actually a subdermal implant. A lot of people don’t know this. It’s just made to look like a nose.” “Is there an eyeball floating in your eyeball?” (rewording & making fun of L: “I’m always thinking about women with corsets and I’m always thinking about getting my piercings snagged...on those corsets.”)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m always worried about getting piercings snagged on things, piercings I don’t have.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Life or death? Sure!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I could probably actually eat your bicep without vomiting.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 325: L “As many of you know, I hope all of you know this, Rhett, I hope you know this too, I am a family man. I got a wife, I’ve got three children, and I’m a family man. I try to do things to corral all of us in a family atmosphere that betters us as people.” “I actually have a mini-van. I just need it. I mean, I don’t know how to live without it, unapologetically.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Have you ever taken your kids anywhere and it’d been a total fail?” R “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 326: L “‘Or I’m just gonna sleep.’ I say that a lot on the weekend. Sometimes I question whether I’m depressed because of it. Let’s not go into that. I like to nap a lot. I mean, get off my back. Just leave me be, okay? I’m fighting off a cold or something.” “I’m gonna end all of my reasons with, ‘Hello!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I buy jewelry for my wife every Wednesday. I call it ‘Jewelry Wednesday.’ That’s what it is in our house.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you didn’t have Wednesday, you wouldn’t have Santa.” L “That’s a stretch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Whipped Cream Wednesday!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d305-8bf4-a689-b30c98fcd73c"><span>GMMore: L “You know what in college what I would put on my waffles.” R “Peanut butter.” L “Peanut butter and still syrup.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 327: R “To me, if you’re gonna shoot anything out of an orifice of your body, you should be in the bathroom.” L “I heard ya the first time!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-2823-417a-488a-b0908cb09880"><span>GMMore: L “Balls to the wall.” R “Yeah, that’s your motto. Ping pong balls to the wall.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 328: L “Is that you or one of the kids?” Both: “It’s broccoli!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “What do I always say about broccoli? Never what?” L “Never turn down an opportunity to eat raw broccoli.” R “I’ve said it for twenty years and you may think I’m crazy, but I’ve said it because it’s so good for you! Broccoli is so good for you that I made a decision a long time ago that if I’m in a buffet, if I’m at a salad bar, if I’m at some place and they have broccoli raw, I’m always going to eat some of it because you should never pass up an opportunity to eat raw broccoli...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d352-54d2-ebb8-7c99b635bcfd"><span>L “That’s what you get, okay? For sticking around. Okay?”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 329: R “Would you do this with Christy?” L “Not in public.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I know what I’m doing soon.” "Dost thousest want my shoe-i-o?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I think I've discovered a hidden talent: finger-jousting."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 330: R “And not just that, you gotta see it in IMAX 3D.” “I didn’t tell you this, I been doing this. There’s an exclusive channel on YouTube which is just my half of the show. It says, ‘GMM Rhett.’ Everything you say is bleeped out and it’s just empty space and that’s for people who just want my part of the show.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And not only that, you gotta (R&L speaking at same-ish time. R following along w/ L’s words->) see it with your wife because if you don’t see it with your wife, then she’s gonna be like, ‘why did you see this without me because it could had been this special thing (R - for us). We could have grown closer, but instead, here you are watching Gravity without me. I want a divorce.’” R “That’s exactly what happened.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>*No separate GMMore because they decided to put it in the main episode!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40c9-b606-aa0b-0ca18ed4657f"><span>L “And we are the (R joins in unison, following L’s words->) Double Trouble Shooters and we dug up the pipes and found out that the pipes are not new, so Jessie, you know we’re coming for you and we have weapons.” R (& L follows) “And we’re not just anchors, we’re/enforcers and we have been given authority from the news station and local police department to shoot you in the gut/face.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 331: L “We don’t look stupid independently, but if you comb---there’s no combination of the two of us that doesn’t look like a total idiot.” “I’m kinda scarred.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe5-849f-831e-c003a98b468e">GMMore: L “I could open a hair salon. I think that’s my back-up plan at this point.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 332: L “Carve out a good chunk of time in order to take it to the max. You don’t want to be rushed when taking it there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re trying to tell me I got a booger?” L “Yep.” R “Why didn’t you just say it?” L “Because I’m always lookin’ for an opportunity to use the phrase, ‘nose necklace.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “We decided to bring the Mythical Mail Boulder up here just to give you a closer look to give you, um, just to get you, lathered up to wanting to, uh, mail us some stuff. Work you into a lather here. That’s a phrase.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40ca-063d-9966-792c4f7c567e"><span>R “It shows the history, the geological history of this show, Link.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 333: (The Constitution of the Republic of Cheesistan.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We won’t kill ya or anything..”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “..unless you’re stupid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 334: L “I didn’t know you were in the market for a camouflaged creature.” R “The kids would love it. I could tell them I’ve got a camouflaged animal and then not have it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It has been definitively concluded by the scientific community that the cuttlefish is magic.” “Last but not loser.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “What happened to my hands?” “I used to call dove. I would do the morning dove sound with my [whistle through cupped hands] and then I would shoot ‘em with a BB gun. I would shoot the symbol of peace with my BB gun.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m afraid of every sea creature.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 335: L “Human plinko. That’s what they should call it.” “Push off, daddy!” “You finally felt like an eight year-old girl. You’ve arrived.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d352-e79b-3e45-903a2c3141a9"><span>R “I should have been kicked out of the place, but I wasn’t.” “It was a great family trip. I highly recommend it if you like to risk life and limb with your family, this is a good thing to do and I think we should do an office outing. All of us should go-” L “And have an eight year-old girl birthday party, like it can be princess themed!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 336: L “Today could change your life. Why? Because you’re a liar!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I think that every person should have the ability to lie because sometimes you need to lie.” “If we start getting secret knowledge, I’m not going to be your buddy anymore.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That would be hurtful if it didn’t sound so stupid."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 337: R “Doug-Bill. Seems like a play-on-words. I like it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 338: R “You need to go like outside and just like throw something at something and something wonderful will happen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Was this like to wipe your butt with in the apocalypse or something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 339: R “Athlete’s Foot could turn into Athlete’s Apocalypse.” "We get t-shirts, we print 'em for most of the world's population and they read, 'There is a fungus among us.'" “The solution starts with me and you, buddy. It’s time we got snipped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "You know how Billy...Mayes is known for his beard? I'm known for my invisible model." L "I'm gonna take you to the doctor now."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 340: R "Now, I am your friend, if not your best friend, right?" L "Yes, Rhett, you're my best friend." R "You're my best friend, too, Link." (Mythical Lucy - <a href="https://twitter.com/LucyHowlter" target="_blank">@LucyHowlter</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “ I didn’t want to splurge too much because you gotta pay me back for this stuff.” “I also got this, an axe, so I can two-fist the zombies, double-fist the zombies.” "Paying for survival? Does it matter? Do you look at the prices?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You just like to buy stuff!" "Well, thank you, Rhett. What’s my total?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 341: R “You would see my Glabella if it weren’t for my flagella.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Rhett and Link present the smell of the rain: Petrichor." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If you go to Dysania-" R "especially when you spend a-" L "-night in Dysania, you wake up with Dysania.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 342: R “You gotta grab hold of the nuggets and never let go.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: "New from Frito-Lays: 'Rat Feces." (first R, then both) </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 343: R “Sometimes, just to know that you’re human in the modern world, you’ve gotta just eat something that’s made out of yoga mats, just to know that you’re alive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 344: L “If you miss a dead relative, you should move to Portugal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Ok, I have to get to this poop-log now." R "That's not the first time I've heard that."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Send us some pictures of your poop-logs!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 345: R “In fact, if I could somehow grab hold of the feeling that is happening between you and us right now, I would take it and I would whip Link with it and suddenly there would be...” (stops and cracks up laughing) “Boy time. We call that boy time at my house.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Analogies fall apart all the time, but they usually don’t fall apart so violently!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 346: R "I like to watch you eat." "..because I never have my fish eggs without oranges."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My palette deems this strange.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 347: L "Giving a pet as a present is a very dangerous thing for everybody involved. A fish isn't a pet, everybody knows that. It's like cheerleading is not a sport." "What's Christmas without a concussion?""Nothing worse than a chunky gingerbread woman."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 348: L “... and we’re not really parents.” R “Right, this is all an act.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this proud in my entire life, and not just of the handwriting, of the content. It’s pretty awesome.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "It's like a bad ride on Santa's lap." "I also feel like I should have signed a waiver before doing that." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R (singing to the tune of "Smoke on the Water") "Turds on the water, peeing in the sky." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 349: R "Santa isn't real. He's a fictional character."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "It could be Cockatrice turds." R "So, it's chocolate?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 350: R “It’s good luck to put mustard on your shoulders.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Now, it’s burning. Is that normal?” “Sweet Baby Ray’s and mustard is not an exfoliate.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0b4f-637b-725a-606c99970220">R “Yeah, that means that hair is beginning to sprout.” “That’s I do every day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 351: R “I could smell his breath. It was sweet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s it. I met a shadow of Merle Haggard.” “It’s like meeting a wax figure in the dark.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 352: R “When you work on a human, call me.” “You wife’s gonna love it.... but just for a little bit just to picture you as a teenage boy.” “This, I gotta say, is one of my favorite ever gifts that we have ever received.” (talking about a coffee that was personally made for them)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Who gives used underwear?” “I stuff underwear every morning, by the way, with myself.” “She likes this manliness, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “The new name of this episode is ‘Snorting Coffee with Chuck Testa!’” “Doing lines of coffee.” “The BBBB sauce: You guess what the other B is.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 353: L “I don’t have any back hair, for the record.” “The devil’s coming out.” (to R:) “You’re like a devil woman! I want to punch him. I want to punch you. I want to punch both of y’all!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’re not going to fry me, are you? She’s going to fry me!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON FIVE</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 354: L “I like to begin every January season with a beard and a vest, just like we did last year.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I look you in the eyes, I don't look you in the mouth." “I grow a beard to give the illusion that I have a chin.” “Call it the ‘Goozle blanket.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 355: L “I don’t have enough confidence in myself to even resolve anything anymore.” “I like how we’re applying logic to this stupidity.” “If a seventh grader comes up to you and gives you something, just immediately think, ‘I should regift this to Rhett and Link.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe5-f7b9-fc24-51d341fc55d7">R “I was going to say something about intention without follow through is like throwing nothing.” “‘Please the past you.’ That’s my motivational thing for the year.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 356: L “Just chill out, this is going to be fine. No need to get anxious. Don’t WIG OUT on us.” “Sometimes I open my mouth in order to make myself fall asleep. I’ve got it down to that much of a science.” “From now on, I am going to, when my wife wakes me up and she’s having a panic attack, I’m going to shoot her with rubber bands.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R: “You incited anxiety into me.” “When your mouth opens, I know that’s when you’re not faking anymore, like pssh, and that’s when I start to getting strangers to put things in there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Some wheel endings are better than others.” “There are no wrong wheel endings.” “It’s like we both turn into jerks on planes.” “But more information is not necessarily less anxiety, it’s just more specific anxiety.” “What planet do you suck on a dent?” “Really big guy, huge mouth!” “Watch it with your ears.” “That was a nice little laugh.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-334e-a0f8-3b94-8de259193105">R “Are you asking for volunteers to suck on it, to push it, pull it out?” “We’re going to have a guy come and suck this dent out.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 357: L “You’re a guessing fool, man!” “Well you still win, but you did it in a way that sucked.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m the best American.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “We’re Americans. We don’t need reasons for the things we do.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 358: R “...me and you think the Segway is the most entertaining thing on earth!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “No one rides a Segway and doesn’t look stupid, but no one rides a Segway and then says, ‘this is stupid.’” R “It is the most fun you can have while on two wheels.” L “While leaning.” R “With a helmet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “How do we become an auctioneer? I’m interested in things like that. You know, speaking fast.” “We’re so childish sometimes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t care about ethics, I just wanna talk like an auctioneer!” L “Ethical dilemmas left and right when you’re speaking 90 miles an hour.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You think I’m a good drawer?” R “I think you’re an above average drawer, yeah.” L “Thanks, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I think you’re an above average inventor.” R “I really think I can invent some crazy stuff.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 359: R “I think this show has enough beard on this side.” “...if you shave your beard and I trim my beard at the same time, the beard gods will be upset with us and you might break something today.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I live economics, man.” “It’s got the consistency of meat fabric.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you can’t get real bacon, don’t imitate it with a turkey and don't imitate it with a vegetable. Just go to no bacon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Vegan bacon, the fabric of our lives.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b4-f54e-ae5f-a4e8d08cfb97"><span>R “You know how a microwave works, right?” L “Nope. I don’t want to ruin the magic so don’t tell me.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 360: L (singing) “Waiting for the bus, making a little arm music.” “Couldn’t have been me, man. I just been here lighting fires."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 361: R “Trying to get on Mars and trying to get on The Bachelor are very similar.” I’m part of the green kingdom!” “Ready to get that green kingdom going!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I have trust issues.” “I’m a good drawer.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (reading) “‘You are open and tolerant to ideas and approaches different from your own.’ Questionable.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 362: R “You owe me fifty dollars, but I’ll accept that in BitCoin, FeatherCoin, LiteCoin, or Coinye West.” L “LTAT.” (meaning: “Let’s talk about that”)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Got lots of connection. We feed people.” “I dare you not to be amazed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “My brain has been working so hard in this episode, I’m just flat out sleepy right now!” R “Really?” L “Yeah, it’s like, you’ve just put me to sleep in this episode!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 363: R “I just imagine the conversation with the barber. ‘No, I actually want my hair to be a hat.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’d love to comment on this guy’s hairstyle, but I can’t see it because of the cat turds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...you cannot have a hairstyle for more than thirty-six months. It’s just cannot do that. As a human, you should not do that.” L “I feel locked in because of our logo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think you could do the buzzcut.” L “It could stand up. My hair stood up in the past.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “My wife wants me to go shaved on the sides.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 364: R “We should teach a class on singing backwards for children. We would become billionaires.” “We go around to homeschoolers’ homes. ‘Hey, mom! Hey, dad! We’re here to teach your kids how to sing backwards. Give us a billion dollars.’ We’re called ‘The Backwards Boys.’” “Yeah, when you do something like the Red House commercial, we should call it ‘adgertising.’” “Business man and the boy dot com!” “You should great about that! You’re relatable! You’re like a five year old.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s what we could be called.” L “The cool guys who adgertise.” R “The cool adgertising guys teach you how to sing backwards kids dot com.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love these kids!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I think that the assumption may be that you think that the kids, our kids watch our videos.” R “Or our wives, for that matter. Sadly, no, that’s not the case.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You know how babies don’t have a lot of detail. That was my joke. Went really deep.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “My grandmother told my parents that I look like a rodent the first time she saw me. She did. She was like, ‘looks like a rat.’ Spit her snuff out.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 365: R “I love my purple v-neck.” L “A lot of collar going on over here! You’re welcome.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You gotta put your shirt where your mouth is, or your blouse, or whatever-.” R “Put your mouth where your blouse is.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “The sock knows where it wants to goes.” R “Trust the sock maker!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I don’t touch your hair often but when I do, my hand gets greasy.” “First ever slow fade in a ‘Good Mythical More.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b5-67de-706f-4df989451aef"><span>R “Seriously, this is over the top. People judge because of this. I’m discriminated against because of my hair and people think that I care too much about myself. I’ve experienced that quite a few times. I just say, ‘listen, man. It’s in a logo. What can I do.’”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 366: L “Locknessasaurus.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “The bigger the hump, (pauses) the more the mating happens.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “This is literally translated, ‘horned demon from the river of death.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-072f-7862-ccba-362eddb48a23">L “What my wife calls me sometimes.” (raps)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 367: R “Tell Sam Rockwell that. ‘Altitoots,’ a new movie from Rhett & Link. Farting in the mountain.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Where else can you go and it’s expected that you’re gonna be farting up a storm. Nowhere but Park City. Tourism department.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Your hair’s fine, okay?” R “Alright, thanks. It’s better than fine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091e-da74-345c-cbaae165ad5a">L “I’m a Chili Peppers fan from way back.” “I’ve fangirled over Flea a little bit over the years as, like, done a little research so I know that this is like one of the most tender-hearted individuals on the planet. I’d love to meet him, cry with him about something. He seems like a guy who can cry at anything.” “So, Flea, if you’re out there, I’d love to meet you. I mean, I’ll even drive to Malibu, and I admire your tender-heartedness and I’d love to cry with you while listening to your albums on vinyl because that would be awesome.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 368: R “Nicolas Sparks. I will cry in a heartbeat. I mean, I don’t need to fake it. I’m gonna cry. ‘The Notebook’? I, like, lost a pound watching that movie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Just channel your inner spoiled woman.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 369: L “What about a car powered by compressed air?” R “Farts?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “‘Good Mythical More’ is better if you make it better.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b5-c667-212f-72ada36bfa98"><span>R “Everytime you poop, you’ll be turning on a lightbulb.” “Dog power, the future.”</span></span></span> </p>Rhett & Link Quotes, GMM 187-369tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-01-07:2452419:BlogPost:20918992016-01-07T01:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">(Jan 6 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, …</strong></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">(Jan 6 2016) </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes" target="_blank">GMM 1-186</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-and-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-701-current" target="_blank">GMM 370-521</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-851-current" target="_blank">GMM 522-667</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-832-current" target="_blank">GMM 668-815</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-900-current" target="_blank">GMM 816-968</a>, <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-talk-show-quotes-gmm-1000-current" target="_blank">GMM 969-1051</a>, </strong></span><strong><a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/rhett-link-quotes-gmm-1052-current" target="_blank">GMM 1052-Current</a></strong></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 187: L “It’s hard not for me not to be a party pooper, you know, but-.” R “That starts with a ‘p.’ You could be a party pooper.” L “Okay.” R “It’s like, ‘Kids, hey. I’m a party pooper. I’m dressed as myself.’” L “Thanks for that, Rhett.” R “I gave you an out.” L “And now I get candy for myself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L (singing->) “Single rainbow all the way across my couch!” “You guys just stay at home. I’ll go and earn all the candy because I can do an amazing dance. It’s the furry dad dance. I’m doing it right now and I’m uncomfortable being in front of it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-5af3-9cd4-ec36-b58ad835cf79">R “You may not always have cardboard laying around to create your Chewbacca costume, but that doesn’t really matter when you resemble Chewbacca naturally.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 188: R “As you spin that wheel, let me put this thought in your head. Time Rangerers. Emmy.” L “You mean like my ex half-sister Emmy?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 189: L “‘Dipping in the Kool Aid.’” R “This is when someone becomes convinced that prison is awesome.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘Keister.’” R “What they call Easter in prison. Happy Keister!” L “If someone wishes a you ‘Happy Keister,’ run.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “‘Monkey mouth.’” R “Cold sores. Look at that. He’s got a horrible case of ‘monkey mouth.’ Don’t kiss him, grandma!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 190: L “I think there’s something in every man who wants to take a space and then make it submit to him.” “...I had just given plasma cause that’s how I made money in college. I’m not ashamed to admit it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Did you invite me into this hideout?” L “Yeah, but I said, ‘Don’t drink from that straw. That’s my latrine.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Now, this is the front door of our dorm room and everyone in our hall had a white board where people could put messages. I think ours says, ‘Link, yore mom called.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We were bunkin’. We were gonna be bunk buddies.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “This is the best room on NC State’s campus and it’s no longer a dorm room unless they’ve reversed the policy. It’s a sad day.” L “Maybe we can go back there and be squatters.” R “Really?” L “Yeah.” R “This time, I get the top bunk.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 191: L “We are making history right here.” R “Well, I think everybody doing anything is making some kind of history. The question is, is it significant history.” “That’s what the present is, Link. It’s nothing. It’s just simultaneously entering into the past and entering into the future. I should write a book about this! ‘The Present Doesn’t Exist’ by R.J. McLaughlin.” “I mispronounced my own last name cause I’m thinking of myself as a writer.” “I’m trying to launch my writing career.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “We’re friends, but there’s a process here.” R "I'll tell you what the process is. I'm gonna find out where you're mountain biking and I'm just gonna show up and follow you.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 192: R “This is like the time we shared a sleeping bag- oh, we’re not supposed to talk about that.” L “No comment.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Wake up! You don’t even know who Iceman is.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6769-0c0f-5e5b-cc6693a73993"><br/> GMM 193: L “Die, cut!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 194: L “Grooming my arm hair is something that I just wanted to be special to me.” “Yes, I groom my arm hair before we shoot every episode of ‘Good Mythical Morning.’” “I’m going to miss this chair. I love this chair.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You don’t want to see my without a beard.” “I believe you can grow a moustache.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 195: R “The overall winner of Supernote 2012 is GenericTechGuy!” GenericTechGuy’s Supernote was 165 seconds long, that’s 2 minute and 45 seconds.” “There is something that we should all be proud of, mythical beasts, and that is, once again, same as it was in 2010, we had the longest average Supernote of any team in the competition at 28.4 seconds. We have the best set of lung capacity, best Supernotes of any team. You’re not surprised, you know that. You knew that this was going to happen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 196: Chuck Testa: (to R) “You can be the president.” “Absolutely, because if I don’t like ya, I’ll just assassinate ya!.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “ You're gonna give me the privilege of being the president?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 197: Joe: “Barheta.” “Goodbye other partners!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I’ve had an aversion all my life. In fact, this is a family thing. This is a McLaughlin thing. We have an aversion to vomiting. In fact, there was a point while I was in college that my brother, my dad, and I, combined, had a 50 year non-vomit streak as the men in the McLaughlin family.” “I had so much pride in this that I used to write for our college paper at NC State and I wrote an article about it.” “You feel like an animal when it’s happening, too. You feel like an alien.” “Link’s gonna have a moustache when he comes back. He’s doing the Movember thing.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6766-4351-0e45-cbf9f6880ca9"><br/> GMM 198: Shephard: “I want one of those fire [things].” R “One of these?” S “What do those do?” R “Just eat it. Don’t ask any questions. Just eat it. Just put it in your mouth. Don’t smell it. Just put it right in your mouth. Put it right in your mouth. Put it right in your mouth. Put it right in your mouth. Put it right in your mouth. Just put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth!” Locke “Give you six Pokemon!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 199: <span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6765-dc68-d3c9-4277e2a1a633">R “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my co-host for today’s episode...Today, it’s mustached Link.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I would pass by mirrors and give myself a double-take. I was like, ‘Who is that ‘70s-era detective who keeps following me in mirrors?’” "All French games are befuddling." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Those are what they call, ‘soft balls.’” L "Which, incidentally, is the next James Bond movie." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Author Ian Fleming was an avid bird watcher and named the character James Bond after famous ornithologist James Bond, studier of birds." L "I hope that that's true." R "It is true." L "Awesome! I love that! That's my favorite fact on earth now!" R "And he thought James Bond was suitably brief and unromantic. Interesting how that happens." L "Well, when you love birds, you got little time for much else."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 200: R "The show is brought to you by the show." L "Can that even be happening?" R "We make the rules, man!"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "And it's getting colder, I'm realizing the benefits of a warm upper lip. You never told me about how warm your upper lip was." R “Boy, I could grow a beard all over me if I could.” L "Like a bear?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Body Beard. You know what? We should sell that. I think it's called a sweater." "It's made of the hair of donated beards." L "The beginning of a business just happened." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 201: L “I’m divin’ in, baby!” “Kids starts coming up to me, usually just my kids.” “I have three kids for a reason, so they can warm each other when the winter hits. That’s the only reason I have multiple kids. I was an only child and I was cold as a child.” “What is the beep boop boops? There’s no beepin’ and the boopin’ and the boppin’ anymore! What’s happenin’?” “I’m thinking about burning dung.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40f6-689d-2c28-76d3fad1bb3f">R “Kids start coming in the windows.” “...and as I’m doing this, I have one of these moments, that this happens to me fairly often,” L “You black out.” R “when I realize I am living in the future...” “It’s like, sometimes, I feel as if I have been transported from the past and here I am.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 202: R “I sleep standing up, every Thursday night.” L “Really?” R “Yeah.” L “I always thought we were working on Thursday nights.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Do horses sleep with their eyes open, or just standing? Don’t answer that. It’s a trap. That question was a trap.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I feel stupid wearing the neck pillow, much more than wearing the upright sleeper. It’s like, you look like you’ve been injured.” “You look like you’ve been in an accident. ‘Sorry, sir. You okay? No, I’m just trying to nap.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I would definitely put this thing on in my house to block out my family.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 203: L “Who knew that carrots came in seeds?” R “Uh, me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 204: L “...for all you vegans watching, we love ya. We love you. So, we’re all friends here.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6bc5-4c07-f757-8497b5a71df8"><span>L “I’m thinking pizza. From, Link.” R “I’d like pizza for lunch. Sincerely, Rhett.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 205: R “My mom was a man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I like the idea of just getting precisely what I need from a hotel which is rejuvenation; sleep.” R “You are a slave to your own efficiency and that’s okay. That makes you, you’re a very efficient person. That’s why you were an industrial engineering major, so the efficiency of this system-” L “Okay, I’ll take that as a back-handed compliment.” R “-appeals to you." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 206: L “I’ve never eaten a Twinkie and now, I will never be able to.” L “Okay, come back through, you worthless little piece of Twinkie horn! Brought to you by Little Debbie?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “To me, that’s like a modern person saying, ‘I’ve never had a shower.’” “Twinkie spread! I got four twinkies and I am not going to tell you how me and Jason acquired these because it may not be legal.” “One’s pointing at you, one’s pointing at me, one’s pointing at Jason and one’s pointing at the future.” “I’m glad I’m here for this. You’re becoming a man.” “You’re becoming an American man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 207: R “Time to learn some stuffing about Thanksgiving.” L “Let's talk about that. Stupid.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I eat like a whole half of a turkey, though.” “I could have that cream of mushroom injected right into my vein. I would just eat that right up.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6bc5-9c9f-bc3a-d50eb738c588"><span>L “Turkey is giving it up. Give it up, turkey. I do not eat turkey. I eat ham. I don’t like turkey and I’m still a person. I’m still a human being.” “Sugar was a luxury. They did not have-a da sugar. I do not have-a enough sugar to make-a da cranberry.” “We learned something today, and I’m happy about it!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 208: segment called “I’m Thankful for…” (can take many quotes from this)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I know one of those if I ever looked at it, which I had never really wanted to.” R follows w/ “Happy Thanksgiving. Pass the cranberry sauce.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Don’t look at the scrotum when eating anything. Nothing tastes good when looking at a scrotum.” "You know, um, well all these years, I mean...what gender did you think I was?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 209: L “Literally, life is being SUCKED out of me to be in a shopping place.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 210: R “If your wife wants a Furby, you’re doing something wrong.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 211: R “Alone, we’re very stupid, but together, we’re almost as smart as a smart person.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-09a6-2c8c-a54b-7eae2bd0942e">"I just think...we should hold hands wherever we go and be prepared for anything."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 212: R “But 3 is like the envelope has come out and there’s like hobbit blood all over the floor.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 213: R “I wanna be a monk with a family.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 214 R “You ever go through those moment in life, Link, where you feel like a wound, a scab is being removed from a wound and you just well up and you start crying? That’s happening to me like every fifteen minutes.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-f52d-6405-aa39-3265120128ac">L “And that’s when I said, ‘That’s not my finger.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON THREE </strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 215: L "Whoever invented the vest gets a left-handed salute from me. Thank you!" “I’m more of a lumberjack kind of a guy than a fashionista kind of a guy. Definitely. Hopefully, Maybe?” “Rhett. Pants peer. Pants soiler.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-3b2b40ef-9463-8fc7-01a4-698b1f964aa6">R: “Why keep hair from growing anywhere on your body if it naturally wants to grow? It’s unnatural to stop the process, to arrest the hair. Let hair be where it wants to be. The hair wants to be right there? Let it be there!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 216: R “Link, I’m sad to say is still wearing a vest.” “I injured my shoulder playing NintendoLand.” “I think I’m a better father.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I purchased this myself so let’s not talk about my vest anymore, okay?” R “In a month, I’ll have a vest. I’ll be eating my words. I’ll have a parrot on each shoulder just pooping all over me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6bef-b8c9-b4c9-ffa56bb31920"><span>L “Now, it’s not necessarily my idea of a good time sinking my bare foot into a half-eaten soggy cheeto, but the kids loved it.” R “When you see a brown cheeto in the pool, that’s not a cheeto.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 217: L "Well, keyword, 'catharsis'. Look it up.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-9706-0de0-7fa1-769b3c81fc70">R “I know what it is. It’s my nickname in high school." “In your defense, Lincoln is the most fish-like of your children.” “‘Where’s that fuel hole at?’ Sounds like an insult.” “Caught by the fuel hole.” “I’m worried about you. I’m glad you own a vest.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 218: R “My wife’s maiden name is Lane so whenever we see ‘Jessie Lane’, we see a picture of it.” L “You’ve seen that?” R “Yeah, we’ve never really taken a picture of it, though.” L “And is she in witness protection?” R “Yes.” L “Bingo!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...if I ever run face first into a fence, the very next place I’m going is a fashion show.” “I think it is my life-long dream to be a room inspector.” “If I have another child, I’m definitely going to name him ‘Sheeder.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Everything you send us that we deem appropriate for the Mythical Mail Boulder, that’s what I’m gonna call it. We’re gonna take and we’re gonna glue it together. This thing’s gonna get huge! I don’t know what we’re gonna do with it.” “I just think it’s a way to create something that represents all of our efforts together...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-6bf0-292d-1f38-aa4cf4511074"><span>L “This thing could be huge, people. We might have to rent space for it. Who knows. It’s gonna be amazing.” R “‘Storage Wars.’ It’ll be featured on an episode of ‘Storage Wars’?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 219: R “We should sell pants… Let’s just become like J.Crew.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757c-f3ea-2e8d-c8bef872928a"><span>R “I write my science teacher letters.” L “Write mr. science teacher a letter, people.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 220: R “Me and you are not spring chickens.” “Listen, I do all the thinking for both of us, so all you gotta do is just sit here and enjoy the ride.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-711a-1628-12c5-a62d06b6f59f">L "As you know, old people love trash music.” “...I don't believe in retirement. Nope, that's the lazy man's excuse for just giving up on life.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 221: L “So I am a closet exerciser and you are a pathetic loser.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “If you’re one guy, you just need another guy...and 2 weights. 2 Guys 2 Weights.” “Can you say Tumblr gif?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Harness the awkwardness!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 222: L “Did you get the memo? It’s authentic t-shirt and memo day!” “A mamajamo nanny! A mamajamo! Whoa!” “I don’t know what it is, I just want it in a sandwich!” “Palegg it up!’ “Nothing beats the yaghan language.” “I don’t want to Koi No Yokan the bear! Why don’t you Koi No Yokan the bear.” “Oh, baby. Come here so I can cafune you. I want to cafune your hair.” “Go cafune yourself.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I will say that my wife said last night, she said, ‘I think it might be time to trim the beard.’ I said, ‘Really? I was just waiting for the green light from you, baby.’ But I’m gonna give it another-you know. It’s starting to go into my mouth. I’m starting to taste things that were on the beard earlier.” “It happens during Koi No Yokan, leads to cafuning.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757d-28cf-568a-412955540895"><span>R “My mom watches every episode.” “She’ll text me, she’ll call me.” “She says, ‘I feel like I get to connect with you every single day.’ L “Mama Di, thanks for watching.” R “Love you, mom.” L “Name is Diane. We call her Mama Di.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 223: R “There’s a trash truck going by right now but it’s not playing music, and that disappoints me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Never make eye contact with the guy you’re exercising with.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 224:L "This is to help you elongate your life because I care about you." "I don't want you to die, prematurely." “It’s like a burger version of a Death Star.” “There’s nothing better to talk about while taking a huge bite of that than colorectal cancer.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Why? Cause 'Link.com' is taken." “Whoo, boy. That’s what I was MADE FOR RIGHT THERE!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 225: R “But you know what they say about guys with bowties.…that guy with the bowtie? I don’t like that guy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "We do not take lightly the fact that we are privileged to be able to do this." "Fostering mistrust with all his children. The father of the year."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 226: R “I care more about William Shatner than you do because I just want to enjoy his presence and his voice and his trucker hat and let him enjoy his dinner and his life with his kids…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Did you take a photo?” R “No, you’re that guy. I’m not that guy.” L “But that’s why I need to be with you. I should have been there!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love freakin’ medallions. I have a medallion on now, but it’s got something personal on it so I’ve got it under my t-shirt.” R “A picture of me?” L “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “People are complaining about how I spin the wheel. Why don’t you come here and spin the wheel? Thank you very much.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757d-8cf8-0347-4786f1440e27"><br/> <span>GMM 227: L “...sometimes when I feel bad, like I want my heart to be warmed, I will think to myself, ‘I want pizza.’” “If I was going to heist a place,... it would be a Papa John’s. I freaking love Papa John’s. Have I already mentioned that when I’m depressed, I want pizza?” “I love Papa John’s pizza. It makes me so happy.” “I feel so vulnerable in a good way.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 228: R “You totally disrespected my wife. You stuck your spoon into my wife’s peanut butter and her nutella!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 229 (*This episode is long on purpose. It played 3x over for the holiday.): R “I’ve known you for quite a while and I’ve never known that Groundhog Day is your favorite holiday.” L “I just decided. It wasn’t before today.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love the weather, man. You know that about me.” You know when I was young what I wanted to be when I grew up. A weatherman!” “...I decided to do other things, pursue other paths that have led me to this, but still, in my heart of hearts, I’m a weatherman.” “Whistle when you mate. Isn’t that a song?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “When I think about ‘Groundhog Day,’ I think about the movie and that makes me happy.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Say you’re sorry! Say you’re sorry, boy! Say you’re sorry!” R “You’re sorry!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Say I’m sorry.” R “You’re sorry.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757d-d314-dbed-9dd9c64e5d4e"><br/> <span>GMM 230: R “...my son asked me this question, ‘where do babies come from,’ and I lied to him.” L “And what did you say?” R “I told him it had something to do with the tides.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 231: L “...today is the day, Rhett, your beard is coming off,... and if I had my way, you’re going all the way, you’re going naked face." “Where’s your bear? Do you have a pet bear?” (referring to R’s beard) “ Patrick Joron comments, ‘The Beard good gracious what happened hahahahahahah.’” "Now, when we were younger, I used to cut all of our friends' hair." </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-d8ec-de40-2220-e0a86c053597">R “I will go clean shaven for $10,000, no less.” “This past weekend, I grilled. I made some ribs and I could smell the smoke from the grill the next night when I was going to bed. I was like, ‘somebody’s grilling something.’ I was like, ‘no, it’s my beard.’” "Give me a moment of freaking silence with my own beard!" </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 232: R “Over the past 24 hours, I have-” L “You’ve been doing Two Guys Two Weights.” R “I have de-aged 10 years, I’m now 25 again and I lost 15 pounds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-757e-1127-8aef-3a1d7f3525ad"><span>R “Your haircut has insulted me on a root level.” “It really comes down ot the wings. It’s almost like you’re about to fly about at any moment and I realize that that was a big deal like in ‘93 and in ‘75, it was also kind of a pretty awesome thing, but you’ve been trying for 5 years to bring the wings back, but the flight has landed and I’m sorry, but I just feel like you need to change it up a little bit.” L “And the alternative is this?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 233: R “What if my thing was that I just kept my eyes closed all the time? What if everything was the same?” L “Then your eyes wouldn’t pop out of your head.” R “But it was just my thing.” L “Well, you would seem like you wouldn’t have eyesight.” R “I would seem like I was constantly enjoying the moment.” L “Or constantly smelling something, something that smells good.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m gonna read a letter! I’m gonna read a letter!’ (singing) “Have a Twinkie on me! I think that’s a song.” “Oh, look at me. I got beads for eyes. I look like a possessed hawk.” “I know, I can tell you care about me by shooting at my face.” “Name your price, Mark. Name your price. We will buy this pinball machine. We must have it, or a replica or something.” “He was killed in the line of algebra.” “This guy has muscles and a tan. This can never be Rhett.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (singing) “Just have a Twinkie. Just have a little Twinkie on me.” “Think about what I’m gonna look like when I get old. You’re gonna be embarrassed to be with me.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 234: L “I love Wal-Mart! Wal-Mart tastes goood!” “We’re taking this really seriously. It’s like everything depends on this.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You could be the poster boy for Wal-Mart. “It all tasted great to me!” “Just how I like my ice cream, on a plate.” "You're like a depressed cheerleader." "I'm the generic expert." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We are getting a lot of treats today.” L “We deserve it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 235: R “I live by my own rules.” L “And my main rule is Burger King.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “It killed him, it’ll kill us all! Line ‘em up, people!” “Ewww! Respect.” “I bet everybody’s like, ‘pshh, I’ve seen this one before’ and they just slam the door. ‘They’re doing the funeral prank, man. They’re gonna say they all want a Whopper and they wanna put one on the dead guy’s coffin. Don’t fall for that man. It’s just YouTube. They’re just trying to put over on- Oh, no, that really is him. He is dead. Give him a Whopper.’” “Endorse my life in death.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-9956-9d8f-a6d5-077b9341d487"><span>R “I’ll shake your hand right now. I will try to work out a way to get R. Kelly to sing at your funeral.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 236: R “How did you know that I was gonna fire you today?” L “This is not about - well, you don’t have that power, my friend. This is not about me, is it?” R “I think I do. Look at the corporate book.” L “I’m not gonna be - we have a corporate book?” R “Yep. See?” L “No. For the record, I know that we do. If the lawyers are watching, we know about the corporate book and it’s all filled out appropriately.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-a46e-ed67-d5ee-deaae96c8cdb"><span>R “Now, there’s an opening for the second guy in the bobsled because he has no skill at all, he just sits there so I thought you could do that.” L “Well, the way I see it, there’s also an opening here for a guy who just sits here.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 237: L “This is the evening card.” “What happens after the card is private. I’ll just leave it at that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 238: L “The Linkster reigns down on you!” “I love rest stops. Should I say that out loud?” “Reigning supreme, brother!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Bacon was not meant to be liquefied.” “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Don’t look a bacon drink in the spout.” “Women love bacon breath.” “Barry sent some balls from Nebraska.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Barry’s balls are really going well on the boulder.” L “Yeah, let’s do that again.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 239: L “How do you accidentally eat a blueberry?” R “I have a blueberry tree in my room.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Don’t you watch television?” L “No. Should I?” R “Yes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 240: L “I’m a good blind guesser.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 241: L “I have this fear whenever I go into a public restroom and I swear to you, every single time I go into a public restroom, there’s something in the back of my mind that says, ‘Hold on, are you in the women’s restroom?’” “I’m a bull, baby. I’m a bull.” “Men pee on everything.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I want you to carry on my mission to get women everywhere to use urinals.” L “That’s it? That’s your last request?” R “Promise me you’ll get women to use urinals.” L “I promise. Syche.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-a46e-77a8-29de-3c9c0c2c872c"><br/> <span>GMM 242: L “I think if you’re concerned about your cool points, then maybe it’s too late, but if you just wanna express yourself and be part of a movement, even if you join late, sure you don’t have those bragging rights, but it’s not about being cool, it’s about having fun, people. It’s never too late.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 243: R “I’ll eat anything twice.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 244: L “Smartness is not the only thing that matters, you know. Goodness matters.” “Don’t act like you’re okay with being stupid when you’re not.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Do you think that you’re smart?” R “Well, you know. Uhhh, what do you mean by ‘smart’?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 245: (the long speeches to their “space”)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I mean, this is a two-way street. I mean, stop your bickering!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-a46f-528a-c663-5d7a88bcbca7"><span>R “Gonna have to start selling plasma again.” “Welcome to California.” “My choice is that we end this episode with Link talking on the phone to a cable provider so we can get internet. It’s funny how things work out that way sometimes.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 246: L “Whenever you move into a new facility, you should always wear the same outfit as the person that you do internetainment with.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 247: R “When I start thinking, my hands start sweating a little bit.” L “It’s funny that your hands sweat, my hands shake. I think that’s what makes us a good comedic team, Rhett. You’re the sweater and I’m the shaker.” “If you were a shaker and a sweater, that’d be bad because then you’d be like a wet dog just throwing sweat on everybody every time…”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-374f-65f5-07ff-c008d229c85c">L “Everything just gets loose by the time you have three kids.” R “Right, you don’t even feed the third one.” L “It’s just like, make your own breakfast-” R “Yeah, he’s like a cat.” L “Can you clean the house? Well, just, you don’t have a curfew, you can date anybody you want.” R “He’s only three.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 248: R “Well don’t apologize for giving me food, buddy!” “You know what they say about guys who like dark chocolate. I don’t know what they say. Use your imagination. I don’t know.” “I love cheese in so many different forms. Sticks, balls, you know, strings, blocks, crumbles, curds.” “In fact, sometimes when I use the euphemism, ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,’ I’m actually saying-I’m being serious about it. Fry me up a horse steak.” “Some of the most exciting moments in my life have been at cattle races!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I think that would make me cry. If I was eating a meatball and somebody said, ‘you know what, there’s horse in that.’ I think I too would cry unless there was cheese on it, too.” “Rhett loves horse. He eats it all the time.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 249: L “I love you, Rhett, as a brother.” R “I love you, too, Link.” </p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “‘...I love my wife more than I love you, Rhett.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 250: L “Don’t do as he says or as he does.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “...but I don’t do what you do, I am a horn blower, and I don’t mean, like, the hobbits.” R “I am a horn blower.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 251: L “I like a black seat on the toilet.” “Did I tell you I’m a deputy?” “Hello, lady, cheeky, cheeky. I’m a deputy in Great Britain. Would you like to see my firearm?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 252: L “I’m always looking for an opportunity to wear my bolo tie.” “Southern California, you need to bring that turtleneck. It might get cold.” “You need a turtleneck if you’re going on the beach.” “Whenever I see a magician that close, I’m like, ‘dang, I want to caress your nose.’” “I will go anywhere for Rick Thomas. Rick Thomas, if you’re watching, thank you for following your dreams.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It’s just symbolic of the fact that things are happening.” L “Well, it’s not symbolic. It’s actually something happening. A woman looking for a knife.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 253: R “Sometimes you just got to sing a new song, you know. That’s my theme in life today!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “A mouse-sized elephant would melt my heart.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I put together a blue whale and a hawk and I would call it a ‘whawk.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 254: R “That’s the Rhett & Link financial plan. Go to rhettandlink.com and spend all your money.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You see what happens, people. You tune in and you learn something and you can seem smarter to your friends. You’re not smarter, but you can seem smarter to your friends thanks to us, thanks to us. Say thanks to them.” Jason “Thanks to them.” L “Thanks to us.” Jason “Thanks to us.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ad2a-dc49-43fc-11ac27c6b71c"><span>Jason: “Dinosaurs at the end of their lives.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 255: L “Can you just become me in your next lucid dream and fly?” “That’s called breakfast at your house, right?” “Let’s get a Kickstarter campaign to get you on the Price is Right.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-9706-4dd9-376e-ea2b8c7507cb">R “Sure, let me write that down.” “I woke up because my kids were yelling and fighting each other, and punching each other, gouging each other’s eyes out...You know once that happens, you can’t go back to sleep!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-28bb-d21e-d279-11d8f8fcc62e"><span>GMM 256: R “If I’m not with you, and you get lost, you could die!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 257: L “The best thing is being able to express myself and be who I truly am and still be embraced by people watching on little screens. That is what I need in life. I need a digital embrace from those people. Digital embrace.” “Aliens use existing holes when probing.” “Actually, I can’t go back to 1961. I’d like to be able to do that, but that’s time travel and I don’t believe in that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-c9c6-f3a7-3bee-943c374d3ec7">R “You need an embrace? I can hug you! I got long arms, I can get all the way around you.” “Yeah, ‘Warp Drive and Happiness,’ it’s my favorite band in high school.” “Here’s the reality. When one of these shows starts, inevidently it must end. We don’t have a perpetual show ever. It isn’t as if the show is going to continue forever. It has an end. And when it begins, you need to be clear and understand that the ending is just a few minutes away from the beginning.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 258: L “Back when we shot the T-shirt War 2-McDonalds-Coke commercial, that’s what burned us. Halfway through, the people in charge of the whole thing came up to us and said, ‘uh, Link has on his wedding band.’...but they said ‘okay this is supposed to be roommates, single guys, you know, blah blah blah, you know, we have our reasons,’’ so we had to go in...Billy did it. He had to go in and had to hand-paint out in Photoshop my wedding band in every single frame.” R “But we hadn’t been filming all day, so it was just, like, the first, like, 10 to 15 seconds.” L “And I always forget to take it off before we shoot, so please don’t hold this against us. Our wives are fine with this. You can be fine with it, too.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Who names a fish, ‘Professor?’” L “We do.” R “You guys.” L “You do.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “The Mythical Mail Boulder is uncopyrightable!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You’re coming out of the close as a beard talker? I don’t think I should be here for this.” R “Well, you usually aren’t.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 259: L “I just think it’s cool that, in the land of Kentucky, that’s how you win a fight: by getting someone to eat a beard. That makes Kentucky awesome.” R “Eat your beard now!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-ad85-0f90-7f13-55ca153b6801"><span>R “If you can’t get drunk and get on a horse, I mean, what good is there in this world?” “When there’s multiple pictures drawn by different people that look the same, it is proof that it actually exists."</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 260: R “....and 7 hours later, you think, ‘What have I done with my life?” “There’s nothing more dissatisfying than thinking you’ve seen butt-cheeks and then you realized it’s just an armpit.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “This is just the optical illusion that cargo shorts are still in style."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 261: L “I’ll be honest. I was also thinking of that conversation that I knew I would have with lots of people. It’s like, ‘whoa, ‘Lando’, could your child be named after Lando Calrissian, the coolest character in all of Star Wars?’ and my response would be, ‘yes,’ and I would feel cool.” “I take pride in the fact that my name is different.” “I was going to name our daughter, ‘Ninja’, if we had another daughter, and I told Christy, ‘it’s just ‘Nina’ with a j.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-09e8-7287-8e41-78d48a74e6fe">R “We named our kids those things because both my wife and I have an interest, selfishly, in kinda seeming like, ‘oh, we’re a little different.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 262: L “What does it mean when we both wanna build something in trees?” R “It means we ought to.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Link for the win! Dropkick!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 263: L “I win! I win! I win!” “I beat him in an eating contest!” “Where would I go? Um, if I had one round trip ticket on a time machine? I would back to my moment of birth and I would dress up as a wizard and I would come into the room, the hospital room, and just as I was emerging from the womb, the baby me, the wizard me that traveled back in time would go back into that moment and say, ‘Oh, alas!’ and then I would deliver some amazing prophetic thing about how this baby was gonna be awesome. ‘In foreign realms, in the distant future, this child will be amazing! Don’t worship him, but give him lots of respect.’ Then I would poof away in my time machine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think you have better insulation in your cheeks.” L “Well, thank you. Like a chipmunk.” R “Hey, that’s two things in a row you’ve won, man.” L “I’m a winner. I’m a consistent winner as of two things ago.” R “Maybe the tide is turning.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 264: R “Ladies and gentleman, for approximately the third or fourth time in my life, I have a ruptured disc.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-af02-31d9-1c5d-ed42ebfe9fa7"><span>R “We’re not gonna release this episode?” L “If we release this episode, people are gonna feel sorry the whole time-” R “Good! I need some sympathy!”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 265: L "I hope you're in a good mood today, but no matter what mood you're in, I trust that this will tickle your fancy." "I promise you, your fancy will be tickled."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Should I get married today? I don’t know. Somebody trying to marry me today?” “My hunger is too sacred.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 266: L “It’s people, people.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-3b2b40ef-9464-bdb0-b36a-39570e0812a1">R “Eating is amazing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 267: R “Passion points. Did you invent that term?” L “I did. I have-” R “You should run a seminar at a hotel or something.” L “I have an IndieGoGo campaign raising money to trademark that.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We’re adults now.” L “Questionable.” R “We’re equals.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “A giant can play with a Drutter!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 268: R “Sometimes you matter, sometimes you don’t matter. Depends on what mood we’re in.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>(Both singing) “Toby me, Toby me, Toby me, Toby me, Toby me.” “It’s a first name and last name. Daniels.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “For me, the answer’s easy, ‘realizing it was the story of your life, would you finish it to the end’, my answer is I would have already done that because whenever I read any book, I read the last line first. I-only the last sentence. It’s kinda like a game I play. So it’s like, I read the last sentence and cause it’s this risk of, is the very last sentence gonna spoil the last thing, and then I’m able to interpret the whole book as I’m reading to see if I’ve spoiled it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 269: L “X-men. That’s not animated.” “I am the cartoon and hum [mode?] champion.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b327-0104-295d-16f143689b73"><span>R “If we enter need to enter a humming contest, you should let me be the hummer.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 270: L “I don’t think of things from an existential standpoint because I can’t spell it.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 271: L “Well, I just hang out in the shower with the water off sometimes.” R “And sing?” L “No, I do word searches.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Ladies and gentleman, mythical beasts, especially those of you who have been loyal for many views and many years, we are pleased to announce that we are poised to launch our very own internet based show.” R “It’s gonna be called ‘The Mythical Show.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 272: L “You see a scorpion. What makes you get it in your mouth?” R “Hunger.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “‘Tallest man to ever fit in a smart car.’ I could set that one right now!” L “Does anyone in the room have a smart car? ‘Cause I have a tall man and a record to break!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Wow, you have ears? You have tops of ears?” L “Shut up!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">L “The ears are going back into the garage.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 273: R “We’re in the same key of life!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b332-505d-d2f6-8672794a1ea6"><span>L “Well, if you step in it, own it. That’s what I always say. And if you land in it, crawl out of it.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 274: L “Work within our limitations.” “I remember what I said!” “I like your attitude, Rhett.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Oh! You don’t like something! Big surprise there!” “When I’m an old man, I just want you to just end it. I mean, like, when I’m really old. If I make it to, like 90, just do it man.” “I don’t want it to be slow, I want you to take me out.” “I don’t listen to you!” “Gotta take a risk to be a winner.” “You’ve been tied for a long time, but you feel like you’re winning.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">Jason: “You should know your own show!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON FOUR</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 275: L "What do you call that? That's called over-tight popped collar." R "It's called buttoned-up and popped up. It's called buttoned and popped up. All the kids are into it." L "You know what you should call it? A mistake."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I like cold spaghettios."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I was constantly climbing the social pyramid."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Link, I have something that I need to tell you." L "What is that?" R "Not only are you my son, but you're also my brother." L "And you're going to make out with me now?" R "No." L "Then don't grab me like that." R "It's not that kind of soap opera." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore (the first one!): L "..but there's so much more crap that happens after that, that's not worth showing you that we thought you'd be interested in." "Life doesn't end, it keeps going."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I feel like this is a good start."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 276: L “If you’ve ever wondered how to obliterate a planet, it’s with 5 syllables, 7 syllables, and then 5 more syllables.” “Who knew he’d get so upset!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Yeah, I like the name ‘Vanna’ on a woman.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b35c-2680-a0ac-ad77a673bb5a"><span>GMMore: L “I’m strong and you heard it here. Really? You think I’m strong?” R “No.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 277: L “My biggest request is for you to give me advice on how to speak.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I drink a lot of milk, I’m tall, I have a lot of hair. Psh. I mean, hey. What’s wrong with that?” “Don’t go to rhettandlink.com/facebook.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b680-0ce3-b226-259c088aaf84"><span>GMMore: R “Japan is a tributary for the internet.” “Do we need to give you, like, an energy bar or something? I’m worried about you. Google place and some other things and you know what, you’re only 35 and we’re gonna be doing this when we’re 75 and at that point, it’s just a sad state of affairs.”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 278 (mislabeled as #277): L "The spiciest I get is this red shirt." "Feel like a dragon." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Your eye can't hiccup, by the way. If they can, we're gonna find out what it sounds like."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I've never been this far before." R "That's a Conway Twitty song that I really like." L (singing->) "You've never been this far before." R "I couldn't tell." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Hashtag hottest day ever. Hashtag hiccup Extravaganza." "Hashtag Can You see the Mucus Coming Out of My Nose?" "Hashtag Kleenex Please" "Hashtag That was stupid." "Hashtag Please give me some of that Ice Cream or I'll kill you in your sleep." "Hashtag Please." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Hashtag real man." "Hashtag This Ice Cream Sure Helps With That Heat That's In My Mouth." "Hashtag risk taker." "Hashtag winning."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 279 (mislabeled as #278): R “I think about Gizmo sometimes. I think about how I would love to cuddle with him. I’m just being completely honest.” “I don’t think I want to work with fancy Link.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m just bad with spoilers. We should just put a spoiler alert necklace around me or something.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 280: L “Laughter is like farting out of your mouth.” R “ Laughter is like a fart from your mouth.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 281: L “...the waiter comes up and he says, ‘What would you like to drink?’ and that’s when it happened. Somewhere in the ‘drink’ verbage, spit flew out of his mouth and landed into my mouth because I was turning to look at him.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Was it a floater? Cause a lot of times, it’s such a small amount of spit that if it catches a light, it’s almost like a feather falling. That’s what I call ‘spittle.’” “This is what the social timeout is for.” “If I’m sitting there and a guy says ‘drink’ and it goes in my mouth, I’m like ‘Whoop! Time out! Just want to acknowledge you spit in my mouth. I’m gonna get it out now.’” “A social timeout is the opportunity to make a decision.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You’re the reserve. You’re on reserve for us and I’m calling you out of the reserves into active duty - Yes, I’m making a military analogy here - to start doing the social timeout.” “It can be a thing amongst our group of peoples.” “My grandma can get up off the couch and let one fart all the way to the refrigerator. It’s like a propellor.” “She’s doing okay. Shout-out to Nana. [makes farting sound]”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 282: R “You’re a comedic genius.” “You should never make a decision,a group decision about eating in a restaurant that you’ve never been at without consulting an app.” “You shouldn’t be going in blind, people! You gotta use an app to make a decision.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I feel like the empowerment quotient of our show has just gone through the roof.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b680-8d5a-3271-38ad3be2297d"><span>GMMore: R “I think, in the end, the internet is an empty place. You should not be watching this show.” L “We believe not in what we do for you.” R “Well, you should definitely not substitute the internet for real friendship, Kathleen.” L “Are you speaking from experience?” R “Yep.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 283: L “Sorry, lasagna. You can’t stick to anything. You’re really heavy. Just because you can make yourself into a good turtleneck doesn’t make you a good noodle.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 284: L "As many of you know, I am an avid mountain biker, or I mountain bike on occasion." "Life lesson here: If you wanna really experience something, you gotta go all in." "Have you never looked in a mirror?" </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "No professional mountain biker ever pushes up a hill." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I'm afraid of what my wife might do to me in my sleep if I turn my back to her. Just joking." <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a7b-fecf-7a0a-cac8e500dd1c">“And I said, 'Dude, you told me this was your first day. I don't want advice from a guy who it's his first day. I had on a bandana and sunglasses. You’re darn right I told him that.” <span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-4a7c-2a7c-37e0-c166112704ac">(submitted by <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/Rachel_Sylvarasaurus">Rachel (Sylvarasaurus)</a>) "I'm now banned from 711." </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">R "The more details I get about this trip, I more happier I am I did not go." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 285: L “I’m more of a pantyhose guy, myself. No, I just like pantyhose. Nah, I just mean on womens. It’s like so smooth and bronze.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0ba3-a756-10b6-13eb00546003">R "Every time you put pantyhose on your head and try to surprise me, I always know it's you."</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 286: R “My eyes don’t need to get any bigger. These’ll pop out of my head if they get any bigger. I’m not into this. I’m checking out now.” “I had a lazy eye for a long time and maybe sometimes, it comes back.” “I trained myself, I was like, every time I look at something, I’m really going to look at it.” “I have overcome lazy eye just in my mind.” “My tongue is seriously going in a circle. What is wrong with me? Is the tongue connected to the eye muscle?”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I don’t care. This is not for you, it’s for them. But, you’re gonna wish you participated, Mr. Rhett.” “Your finger’s for other things... like pointing?” “You know you’re working out when your forehead bleeds.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Lots of good milk has been wasted because of bad side milk, Link.” “It was before last names. His name was, like, Hore.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Is there why there is more than one teet? So that Hore and Hunk can get their milk in tandem?” R "Yep! History class, kids." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 287: L “People will let you down, Rhett.” "So you don't have free time, but you have enough time to stumble upon something called 'foam sculpture.'"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I think you should create a life or death situation that when if you were to hit the snooze, it would- no, no, no, let's get rid of the snooze...the alarm clock, as it goes off, it lights a fuse which then leads to something that will incinerate your whole house-" R "The Snooze Fuse?" L "The Snooze Fuse. That if you don't-" R "snoozefuse.com. Get it, Link! Now!" L "-if you don't get up and put out the fuse, there's going to be a fire." R "Really." L "Yeah, and that's an ugly way to go." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Whe, what, ho, whoa, hey, hold on now, this is like the best idea I’ve ever had!” L "If you have free time, you need to do something for the betterment of society." R "People love art!" </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 288: L “I love the way you lie, Rhett. I know the intricacies of it, like me and Rihanna.” “Give a man an inch and he’s gonna take an inchworm.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I thought you were getting nude, because it's been on my mind."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “Chigger packs.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0f13-dc03-d81d-7932f1125c82">Jason: “That’s an episode: ‘How to become a Klingon.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 289: R “Purists! That’s why I wear silk underwear. Cause I’m a purist!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Now, I think this should be framed and thrown away!” “I’m bringing pencil back because of this!” “I know how to draw. According to my kids, I’m a good drawer and you’re a good drawler.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “What is up with your dolphin’s butt?” L “I’m not good on proportions.” R “That’s the most obscene thing I’ve ever seen!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I needed a dolphin butt.” R “Well, you got one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 290: L “It brightens our day to know that we brighten your day. It’s like a match lighting a flame which then gets out of control so you have to stomp it out before your personal belongings catch.” R “Good analogy!” L “I’ll figure out what it means later.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I aspire to be an old person.” “Without even prompting, the day after we got back, my wife made a meal and she had a side of beans. I started eating those beans and I said to myself, ‘I really like beans, like really like beans.’ I had no idea how much I actually liked beans. My point of application here is that I’m gonna be one step closer to being like Will Rogers and I’m gonna really get into beans. I betcha there’s a bean of the month club and I actually found something. It’s called ‘Beans for a Year.’ I’m gonna get 6 pounds of beans delivered to me every quarter for a full year and I’m going to be cooking them at my house. You can come over, we’ll have beans together.” L “Never have I ever been in a more face-palmable moment.” R “I’m totally serious about this! I feel inspired...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’ll be your tour guy!” “If you know how to use a rope, good things happen.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “King of the world!” R “And I’m the queen of the world!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “No one like a half Omish.” L “Don’t go half Omish.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b697-dd78-b6ed-cc17aeccbb71"><span>R “If you’re gonna eat beans, eat as many beans as you can possibly pack into your stomach.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 291: L “Is this art?” “It has to be something that I can’t do, not something that I just didn't do. I can’t make letters, but I can put them in a pile.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-b777-f41e-9801-93a1b043a35d"><span>GMMore: L “We tell each other our breath stinks all the time.” “My secret’s out. Ms. Alice used to paint me.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 292: L “You can’t de-friend somebody cause they have a problem that they’re just ignorant of or something.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “And you just have to say, ‘Listen, hey. I know you might-you’re’ struggling with this and I’m your friend and I want to help you with this. I want you to know, as a friend, you stank. I can smell you from here. I smell ya right now. I always smell you before I see you.’ You can tell ‘em that. ‘And I wanna help you address this problem. Let’s figure it out together. Let’s unstink you together. You know, make it like a team effort.” L “Let’s unstink you together.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Seriously, I think the key to happiness is setting low expectations.” “Yeah, send me a birthday present because Link doesn't’ give ‘em to me anymore.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 293: L “Okay. I ose, but I’m gonna lose gracefully.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I look like a sheriff that might be dancing somewhere.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: Jason “I wanna ask Link if you’ve ever been in handcuffs before?” R “That’s a loaded question.” L “[That’s a] leading question. No, I haven’t. Both of my grandfathers were in law enforcement.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 294: L “Why do I care what a mice believes happened in the past?” “I remember slaughtering the turtle with my knife, sheathing it, and then celebrating, and me and my dog walking in front of the turtle girls and they were just all like, ‘Oo, I wanna date you because you can slaughter a turtle.’ That’s what happened, right?” R “Yep.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “You got a little bit of a mullet thing going here.” “It’s like a duck tail.” “Anybody else want a haircut? Stevie, you want me to work those bangs back in again?” “I’m constantly cutting my haircut.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Jason “Did this just become ‘Good Mythical Haircut’?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I do feel like a little bit of a mullet is not a bad thing.” L “A little bit of a mullet is a lot of a bad thing.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 295: R “I only learn inadvertently. I never learn on purpose.” (put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-340b-4f34-6ee7-eb5679c5dc6f">GMM 296: L “If you wanna move a big person, all it takes is just a little butt touch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 297: R “ I inventered, ‘inventered’ right now!” L “That’s when you invent something stupid. You inventer it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “We invented ‘Internetainment.’” “I think art can make a difference when severed fingers are involved.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 298: L “I don’t consider myself to be smart enough to be a nerd. I respect nerds because they’re smart. I’m just not smart enough. I can’t achieve nerdom and I’m a big fan of Lord of the Rings so I think that...I don’t know if I’m a geek. I’m just an everyday man.” “Fun it up over there in the RhettandLinKommunity!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “Can I spin the globe and wherever it lands, we will handshake in a second and we will make a music before we die in the location where it lands.” L “Okay.” R “Colombia.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 299: L “We are in the present which used to be the past or used to be the future. What?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We should have called ourselves, ‘Sparks and Honey.’ Missed opportunity, by the way!” “If you die first, I’m going to keep tweeting for you.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...when I’m with a group of people in an elevator, the only thing I’m thinking is what if I get trapped with these people? Who do I team up with. It’s like ‘Survivor.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 300: L "Tasting is believing."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 301: R “I’m ready to rant, always.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “How’s the move, you freak? I’m a pillow! What is wrong with you? Put me under somebody’s else’s butt!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I was already going with a different decision. That’s called ‘improv.’” “Sounds like the beginning of a commercial. ‘When I relax, I have small teeth.’” “Don’t be mad at me, orthodontic mouth-breathers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-cd62-0be3-56f6-b749b55d70ca"><span>R “‘I’ve got a license to mouth-breathe.’ That’s a shirt!” L “That no one would understand.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 302: L "Fine print coming out of your mouth." "We wanna get ship-faced." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Let's not enable shyness. Let's disable it."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I create a lot of shortness just by being myself." L "That's another t-shirt that you could [wear]. 'I create shortness wherever I go.'" </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Never tease a Klingon. They'll head-butt you with that appendage." R "That's another t-shirt."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You know what shipping means right. That's, on the internet-” R “Sending something out to be received from somebody else. Going on a cruise.” L “No, on the internet, when you ship two people, you put them in a relationship together.” R “Okay. I’m married.” L “You relationship people together.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Now, we've got our relationships on lock." R “My relationship is on lock.” (t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 303: R “One foot in the grave, son.” “I don’t like to do anything on my birthday.” “Canadians know their beans.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I grant wishes, I don’t make wishes. I’m not a factory.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 304: L “I know you get excited when you stroke the table.” R “When I wax on and I wax off on the table.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L (acting) “I’m not gonna shoot you, I’m just gonna shove a fire poker into your brain if you don’t tell me where this five million dollars is, you old man.’ That’s what I would do. Let’s do it.” R “Do you need a pill of some sort? A tablet?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “And then all of a sudden, as I’m laying there, I hear ‘Kerchickache’ (sound effect). I’m like, ‘What was that noise?’ and Lincoln was like, ‘I just took a mental picture of this, dad.’ Pretty sweet, isn't it. I’ll never forget that.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 305: L “Cereal now! Cereal, please, now! ” “Never go to a ferrari urinal alone.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R "I will never not have a Ferrari." </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “The Linkster’s good at third person.” R “Rhett thinks it helps if Linkster gives himself a nickname like Linkster. Should Rhett call himself Rhettster?” L “The Linkster agrees.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “It’s very frustrating for me to hear the dreams you have about me.” “I would love to be able to experience this dream via animation.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Keep it cool.” R “Keep it cool, man. Yeah. No reason not to keep it cool.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 306: L “I broke my board in half!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I call him ‘The Linkster’ when we’re surfing because, you know, I’m like,-” L “It’s my surf name.” R “-you become ‘The Linkster’ when you’re out there.” L “I love it! I love it when people call me ‘The Linkster.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Science is happening on my face under this bandaid right now, Linkster.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I’m a man wearing what could be a Christmas sweater today.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 307: R “Welcome to question nation!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Booyah! Now you see why my hair is down, okay-” L “You didn’t just say ‘booyah.’” R “I did. I been say ‘booyah’ a lot. I’m trying to bring it back. That and speed are really coming back strong.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d304-4c98-176b-c741d2407453"><span>GMMore: L “I believe in the boulder.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 308: L “I don’t always go to the grocery store, but when I do, I get cereal.” “When’s the last time we ever ate cereal together?” “We’ve never eaten cereal together, Rhett. This makes me think we should do that.” “I just proved my friendship to you by laughing in your face when you started choking.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I didn’t know cereal could make me uncomfortable.” “I mean, I was good friends with old women when I was a little kid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Every time I’m in charge of dinner, we eat cereal at my house.” “I always have some on hand. It’s like having a fire extinguisher nearby.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8658-b216-fcf6-8b94566f383a">Both: “Honey Bunches Butt.” R “Hadn’t heard of that one.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 309: L “...we follow trends in the world of fast food restaurants closely.” “Make along with us.” “This is like a stupid cooking show.” “We’re bringing restaurants together. We’re like the Montel Williams of fast-food restaurants.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 310: L “We want to declare hashtag war against ‘Good Morning Memphis’ and ‘Good Morning Maryland’ to get the hashtag all to ourselves.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “We are good at writing jingles! It will be so catchy! Everyone will be singing it!” L “Come on, Maryland. Come on, Memphis. Work it! We can do this! You can lose this war. It’s good for everybody.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d304-9e0c-aa32-a1ac7387d3de"><span>GMMore: R “I will pay one thousand dollars out of my own personal money to have someone do a brain scan, a live brain scan of Link while we feed him different questions and, like, introduce different things to him and just see what’s going on because-”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 311: R “First of all, thank you, Mythical Beasts. You are quite a herd. You are quite an army.” “They’re so good at fighting!” “You know, you can only date other anchors when you’re an anchor. That’s the anchor rule.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Sometimes, I’ve been woken up by my mouth opening.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R - “Teeth are the hair of your mouth.” (put that on a t-shirt)</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 312: R "Yeah, if your butt itches in public, just go 'Help!', maybe somebody'll come up and scratch it for ya." </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R "As much stuff as you've spit out on this show, I get to spit out one thing a year." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L "I love Hawaii, I love everything about Hawaii."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 313: L “That would be awesome to get a haircut or shave via YouTube.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “A, r, m, s. That’s what it should be. ARMS.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R, then both: “We should start ARMS videos.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Is it morally wrong for a robot to give a man a scalp massage if he has a wife. Put that in your ethics class next exam, ethics professors.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 314: R “I love staircases to nowhere.” L “Scarestases.” R “Yeah. Scarestases to nowhere.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “Hey, I’m Rhett! Hey, man! My name’s Rhett! We should hang out! I live in a haunted house, but in October, I won’t be there.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d304-f8e0-afe5-a9ec9050771b"><span>GMMore: L “Like, I went and took my garbage out at night one time. My whole family was in the house and I still felt the need to run back in the house because in my mind, I was like, ‘there’s somebody out here lurking.’” “But you instinctively want to mate with a ghost is what I think you’re getting at. Animals like to mate with ghosts. That’s our working theory.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 315: R “It’s like I’ve bitten the toe of Satan.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 316: Llon: “I didn’t mean to touch your bicep.” Redd: “Please don’t ever do that ever again.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe2-94f4-71e5-3f328b1550e4">Llon: “You may know us from our second album, ‘Saddle Soarin',’ which went multi-platinum and by that I mean that we made it out of many layers of platinum. That was a little joke, we sold it out of the trunk of my car.” “If I ride you, then I can take you home.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 317: L “We’re also very hot, so we just don’t get spooky for anybody. Only for you do we get this hot in suits.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “Purple banana.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “What’s up with my head having to go into everything?” “Did we keep the pumpkin seeds?” “Another fun fact: dolphins build nests out of grocery bags.” “They weave them like cross stitch.” “I believe in the dolphins.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0596-bd54-0639-f5b8bbb95a66">R “I like a good Jack-O-Lantern you can get a good grip on.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 318: R “‘Hashtag (#) GMM shall now and forevermore mean-” Both: “GOOD MYTHICAL MORNING.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d305-3db7-4b23-400bca46d288"><span>GMMore: R “The first thing I thought was, ‘Should I call Link’?”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 319 (mislabeled as #320): R “You need to find a woman who will love you through a bomb threat.” (singing->) “I’m gonna love you through this glass like it’s not even there. In fact, I’m gonna kiss you through this glass.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40c7-b389-f89e-e53125ef7337"><span>L </span></span>“He’s not an idiotic guy, he’s just a guy.” “I’m gonna love you through the glass.” “Why was it so easy for you to recover from that? Because that was traumatic for me.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You need to find a woman who will love you through a bomb threat.” “It’s not a bomb threat, it’s a bomb hoax.” “I did too and I regret it everyday, (laughs), because I was young and the things that I said was very truthful, but it was so over the top and sappy, and very much like a 22 year old’s idea of what marriage was gonna be, and now as a 36 year old, I’m like I should have done the classic vows. Just do the classic vows.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “That was the most traumatic thing I have ever contributed to creatively.” “...I do not have a wedding video.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-8129-806e-49b2-edfa7ace7d98">R “That was awesome, man... So that was cool.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 320: L “I like any website that the top of the website says the name of the website, including ‘.com’ again.” “What is ‘Doom music’ if that’s not even it?”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “That was the best wheel ending ever!” “I’m accessible to all computers.” “We’re not old, we’re just amazing my talking on video games and videos on computers.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40f5-9885-6887-fb3b0350cf99"><span>L “You’re greasy in a number of places.” “Computers would come to me and I would go on sites on them.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 321: L “We ate food out of a toilet and paid for it.” “Now, there’s plenty of restaurants that-, in the world. See you tomorrow!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-ca75-94e9-ca08-ff0ed26484d9">R “...I actually am appetized by the idea of eating out of a commode.” </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 322: R “We called my kids, ‘boy’, for the first year until we had decided on a name.” “‘Dangford McLaughlin’ doesn’t sound bad.” L “Yes it does. It’s got ‘dang’ as part of it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “My advice is always, first of all, consider your last name being their first name.” R “Neal Neal, that would have been cool.” (singing->) “Felt like feeding a horse and it was nasty.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40c9-68d2-f0eb-238ff4c1c71a"><span>GMMore: L “I mean, when you have three kids, it doesn’t matter what you call them. You can just go nuts. It doesn’t matter.” “He doesn’t hate me. He doesn’t know any different. He thinks every other person’s names’ ‘Lando’ so it’s (can’t make this part out).” “And Lando means ‘that black guy from Star Wars’ so maybe he’ll be that one day.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 323: L “Rhett, I like you as a person, but I do not like your choice of shirt.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I wanna hunt for that treasure in the Rocky Mountains that we’ve talked about. I would like to learn how to become a master cheese maker. I would like to be a mayor of a very small town at some point. I would like to live on an island by myself.. where I am trained in hand to hand combat and then when I come back I am a superhero for hire...I would like to live inside a hollowed out tree at some point and then I would like to die while performing amazing stunts at a monster truck rally late in life.... I would also like to do intense research on renewable energy sources…” “And I would like you to be a butter maker and we can go in 50/50 and I’ll make the cheese and you make the butter. it’ll be called ‘Rhett and Link’s Dairy Farm.’” “You’re the motor on my paddleboard, buddy.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-072f-0e81-3719-743a5d191ef8">GMMore: R “I am very serious about making cheese.” “I am very serious about learning how to get to do hand to hand combat, but I do not want to be a superhero, really.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 324: R “Well, my nose is actually a subdermal implant. A lot of people don’t know this. It’s just made to look like a nose.” “Is there an eyeball floating in your eyeball?” (rewording & making fun of L: “I’m always thinking about women with corsets and I’m always thinking about getting my piercings snagged...on those corsets.”)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I’m always worried about getting piercings snagged on things, piercings I don’t have.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Life or death? Sure!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “I could probably actually eat your bicep without vomiting.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 325: L “As many of you know, I hope all of you know this, Rhett, I hope you know this too, I am a family man. I got a wife, I’ve got three children, and I’m a family man. I try to do things to corral all of us in a family atmosphere that betters us as people.” “I actually have a mini-van. I just need it. I mean, I don’t know how to live without it, unapologetically.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Have you ever taken your kids anywhere and it’d been a total fail?” R “No.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 326: L “‘Or I’m just gonna sleep.’ I say that a lot on the weekend. Sometimes I question whether I’m depressed because of it. Let’s not go into that. I like to nap a lot. I mean, get off my back. Just leave me be, okay? I’m fighting off a cold or something.” “I’m gonna end all of my reasons with, ‘Hello!’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I buy jewelry for my wife every Wednesday. I call it ‘Jewelry Wednesday.’ That’s what it is in our house.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you didn’t have Wednesday, you wouldn’t have Santa.” L “That’s a stretch.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Whipped Cream Wednesday!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d305-8bf4-a689-b30c98fcd73c"><span>GMMore: L “You know what in college what I would put on my waffles.” R “Peanut butter.” L “Peanut butter and still syrup.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 327: R “To me, if you’re gonna shoot anything out of an orifice of your body, you should be in the bathroom.” L “I heard ya the first time!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-2823-417a-488a-b0908cb09880"><span>GMMore: L “Balls to the wall.” R “Yeah, that’s your motto. Ping pong balls to the wall.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 328: L “Is that you or one of the kids?” Both: “It’s broccoli!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “What do I always say about broccoli? Never what?” L “Never turn down an opportunity to eat raw broccoli.” R “I’ve said it for twenty years and you may think I’m crazy, but I’ve said it because it’s so good for you! Broccoli is so good for you that I made a decision a long time ago that if I’m in a buffet, if I’m at a salad bar, if I’m at some place and they have broccoli raw, I’m always going to eat some of it because you should never pass up an opportunity to eat raw broccoli...”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d352-54d2-ebb8-7c99b635bcfd"><span>L “That’s what you get, okay? For sticking around. Okay?”</span></span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 329: R “Would you do this with Christy?” L “Not in public.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I know what I’m doing soon.” "Dost thousest want my shoe-i-o?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "I think I've discovered a hidden talent: finger-jousting."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 330: R “And not just that, you gotta see it in IMAX 3D.” “I didn’t tell you this, I been doing this. There’s an exclusive channel on YouTube which is just my half of the show. It says, ‘GMM Rhett.’ Everything you say is bleeped out and it’s just empty space and that’s for people who just want my part of the show.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “And not only that, you gotta (R&L speaking at same-ish time. R following along w/ L’s words->) see it with your wife because if you don’t see it with your wife, then she’s gonna be like, ‘why did you see this without me because it could had been this special thing (R - for us). We could have grown closer, but instead, here you are watching Gravity without me. I want a divorce.’” R “That’s exactly what happened.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>*No separate GMMore because they decided to put it in the main episode!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40c9-b606-aa0b-0ca18ed4657f"><span>L “And we are the (R joins in unison, following L’s words->) Double Trouble Shooters and we dug up the pipes and found out that the pipes are not new, so Jessie, you know we’re coming for you and we have weapons.” R (& L follows) “And we’re not just anchors, we’re/enforcers and we have been given authority from the news station and local police department to shoot you in the gut/face.”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 331: L “We don’t look stupid independently, but if you comb---there’s no combination of the two of us that doesn’t look like a total idiot.” “I’m kinda scarred.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe5-849f-831e-c003a98b468e">GMMore: L “I could open a hair salon. I think that’s my back-up plan at this point.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 332: L “Carve out a good chunk of time in order to take it to the max. You don’t want to be rushed when taking it there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “You’re trying to tell me I got a booger?” L “Yep.” R “Why didn’t you just say it?” L “Because I’m always lookin’ for an opportunity to use the phrase, ‘nose necklace.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “We decided to bring the Mythical Mail Boulder up here just to give you a closer look to give you, um, just to get you, lathered up to wanting to, uh, mail us some stuff. Work you into a lather here. That’s a phrase.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-777aa6e1-40ca-063d-9966-792c4f7c567e"><span>R “It shows the history, the geological history of this show, Link.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 333: (The Constitution of the Republic of Cheesistan.)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “We won’t kill ya or anything..”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “..unless you’re stupid.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 334: L “I didn’t know you were in the market for a camouflaged creature.” R “The kids would love it. I could tell them I’ve got a camouflaged animal and then not have it.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “It has been definitively concluded by the scientific community that the cuttlefish is magic.” “Last but not loser.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “What happened to my hands?” “I used to call dove. I would do the morning dove sound with my [whistle through cupped hands] and then I would shoot ‘em with a BB gun. I would shoot the symbol of peace with my BB gun.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’m afraid of every sea creature.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 335: L “Human plinko. That’s what they should call it.” “Push off, daddy!” “You finally felt like an eight year-old girl. You’ve arrived.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-d352-e79b-3e45-903a2c3141a9"><span>R “I should have been kicked out of the place, but I wasn’t.” “It was a great family trip. I highly recommend it if you like to risk life and limb with your family, this is a good thing to do and I think we should do an office outing. All of us should go-” L “And have an eight year-old girl birthday party, like it can be princess themed!”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 336: L “Today could change your life. Why? Because you’re a liar!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “I think that every person should have the ability to lie because sometimes you need to lie.” “If we start getting secret knowledge, I’m not going to be your buddy anymore.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That would be hurtful if it didn’t sound so stupid."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 337: R “Doug-Bill. Seems like a play-on-words. I like it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 338: R “You need to go like outside and just like throw something at something and something wonderful will happen.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Was this like to wipe your butt with in the apocalypse or something?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 339: R “Athlete’s Foot could turn into Athlete’s Apocalypse.” "We get t-shirts, we print 'em for most of the world's population and they read, 'There is a fungus among us.'" “The solution starts with me and you, buddy. It’s time we got snipped.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "You know how Billy...Mayes is known for his beard? I'm known for my invisible model." L "I'm gonna take you to the doctor now."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 340: R "Now, I am your friend, if not your best friend, right?" L "Yes, Rhett, you're my best friend." R "You're my best friend, too, Link." (Mythical Lucy - <a href="https://twitter.com/LucyHowlter" target="_blank">@LucyHowlter</a>)</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “ I didn’t want to splurge too much because you gotta pay me back for this stuff.” “I also got this, an axe, so I can two-fist the zombies, double-fist the zombies.” "Paying for survival? Does it matter? Do you look at the prices?"</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “You just like to buy stuff!" "Well, thank you, Rhett. What’s my total?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 341: R “You would see my Glabella if it weren’t for my flagella.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Rhett and Link present the smell of the rain: Petrichor." </p>
<p dir="ltr">L “If you go to Dysania-" R "especially when you spend a-" L "-night in Dysania, you wake up with Dysania.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 342: R “You gotta grab hold of the nuggets and never let go.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: "New from Frito-Lays: 'Rat Feces." (first R, then both) </p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 343: R “Sometimes, just to know that you’re human in the modern world, you’ve gotta just eat something that’s made out of yoga mats, just to know that you’re alive.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 344: L “If you miss a dead relative, you should move to Portugal.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L "Ok, I have to get to this poop-log now." R "That's not the first time I've heard that."</p>
<p dir="ltr">R "Send us some pictures of your poop-logs!"</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 345: R “In fact, if I could somehow grab hold of the feeling that is happening between you and us right now, I would take it and I would whip Link with it and suddenly there would be...” (stops and cracks up laughing) “Boy time. We call that boy time at my house.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Analogies fall apart all the time, but they usually don’t fall apart so violently!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 346: R "I like to watch you eat." "..because I never have my fish eggs without oranges."</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “My palette deems this strange.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 347: L "Giving a pet as a present is a very dangerous thing for everybody involved. A fish isn't a pet, everybody knows that. It's like cheerleading is not a sport." "What's Christmas without a concussion?""Nothing worse than a chunky gingerbread woman."</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 348: L “... and we’re not really parents.” R “Right, this is all an act.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this proud in my entire life, and not just of the handwriting, of the content. It’s pretty awesome.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "It's like a bad ride on Santa's lap." "I also feel like I should have signed a waiver before doing that." </p>
<p dir="ltr">R (singing to the tune of "Smoke on the Water") "Turds on the water, peeing in the sky." </p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 349: R "Santa isn't real. He's a fictional character."</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L "It could be Cockatrice turds." R "So, it's chocolate?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 350: R “It’s good luck to put mustard on your shoulders.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Now, it’s burning. Is that normal?” “Sweet Baby Ray’s and mustard is not an exfoliate.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-0b4f-637b-725a-606c99970220">R “Yeah, that means that hair is beginning to sprout.” “That’s I do every day.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 351: R “I could smell his breath. It was sweet.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “That’s it. I met a shadow of Merle Haggard.” “It’s like meeting a wax figure in the dark.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 352: R “When you work on a human, call me.” “You wife’s gonna love it.... but just for a little bit just to picture you as a teenage boy.” “This, I gotta say, is one of my favorite ever gifts that we have ever received.” (talking about a coffee that was personally made for them)</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Who gives used underwear?” “I stuff underwear every morning, by the way, with myself.” “She likes this manliness, man.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “The new name of this episode is ‘Snorting Coffee with Chuck Testa!’” “Doing lines of coffee.” “The BBBB sauce: You guess what the other B is.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 353: L “I don’t have any back hair, for the record.” “The devil’s coming out.” (to R:) “You’re like a devil woman! I want to punch him. I want to punch you. I want to punch both of y’all!”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “You’re not going to fry me, are you? She’s going to fry me!”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><strong>SEASON FIVE</strong></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 354: L “I like to begin every January season with a beard and a vest, just like we did last year.” </p>
<p dir="ltr">R "I look you in the eyes, I don't look you in the mouth." “I grow a beard to give the illusion that I have a chin.” “Call it the ‘Goozle blanket.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 355: L “I don’t have enough confidence in myself to even resolve anything anymore.” “I like how we’re applying logic to this stupidity.” “If a seventh grader comes up to you and gives you something, just immediately think, ‘I should regift this to Rhett and Link.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-ffe5-f7b9-fc24-51d341fc55d7">R “I was going to say something about intention without follow through is like throwing nothing.” “‘Please the past you.’ That’s my motivational thing for the year.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 356: L “Just chill out, this is going to be fine. No need to get anxious. Don’t WIG OUT on us.” “Sometimes I open my mouth in order to make myself fall asleep. I’ve got it down to that much of a science.” “From now on, I am going to, when my wife wakes me up and she’s having a panic attack, I’m going to shoot her with rubber bands.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R: “You incited anxiety into me.” “When your mouth opens, I know that’s when you’re not faking anymore, like pssh, and that’s when I start to getting strangers to put things in there.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Some wheel endings are better than others.” “There are no wrong wheel endings.” “It’s like we both turn into jerks on planes.” “But more information is not necessarily less anxiety, it’s just more specific anxiety.” “What planet do you suck on a dent?” “Really big guy, huge mouth!” “Watch it with your ears.” “That was a nice little laugh.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-7a0b855c-334e-a0f8-3b94-8de259193105">R “Are you asking for volunteers to suck on it, to push it, pull it out?” “We’re going to have a guy come and suck this dent out.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 357: L “You’re a guessing fool, man!” “Well you still win, but you did it in a way that sucked.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I’m the best American.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “We’re Americans. We don’t need reasons for the things we do.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 358: R “...me and you think the Segway is the most entertaining thing on earth!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “No one rides a Segway and doesn’t look stupid, but no one rides a Segway and then says, ‘this is stupid.’” R “It is the most fun you can have while on two wheels.” L “While leaning.” R “With a helmet.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “How do we become an auctioneer? I’m interested in things like that. You know, speaking fast.” “We’re so childish sometimes.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I don’t care about ethics, I just wanna talk like an auctioneer!” L “Ethical dilemmas left and right when you’re speaking 90 miles an hour.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You think I’m a good drawer?” R “I think you’re an above average drawer, yeah.” L “Thanks, man.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I think you’re an above average inventor.” R “I really think I can invent some crazy stuff.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 359: R “I think this show has enough beard on this side.” “...if you shave your beard and I trim my beard at the same time, the beard gods will be upset with us and you might break something today.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I live economics, man.” “It’s got the consistency of meat fabric.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “If you can’t get real bacon, don’t imitate it with a turkey and don't imitate it with a vegetable. Just go to no bacon.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Vegan bacon, the fabric of our lives.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b4-f54e-ae5f-a4e8d08cfb97"><span>R “You know how a microwave works, right?” L “Nope. I don’t want to ruin the magic so don’t tell me.”</span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 360: L (singing) “Waiting for the bus, making a little arm music.” “Couldn’t have been me, man. I just been here lighting fires."</p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 361: R “Trying to get on Mars and trying to get on The Bachelor are very similar.” I’m part of the green kingdom!” “Ready to get that green kingdom going!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I have trust issues.” “I’m a good drawer.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R (reading) “‘You are open and tolerant to ideas and approaches different from your own.’ Questionable.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 362: R “You owe me fifty dollars, but I’ll accept that in BitCoin, FeatherCoin, LiteCoin, or Coinye West.” L “LTAT.” (meaning: “Let’s talk about that”)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “Got lots of connection. We feed people.” “I dare you not to be amazed.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “My brain has been working so hard in this episode, I’m just flat out sleepy right now!” R “Really?” L “Yeah, it’s like, you’ve just put me to sleep in this episode!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 363: R “I just imagine the conversation with the barber. ‘No, I actually want my hair to be a hat.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I’d love to comment on this guy’s hairstyle, but I can’t see it because of the cat turds.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: R “...you cannot have a hairstyle for more than thirty-six months. It’s just cannot do that. As a human, you should not do that.” L “I feel locked in because of our logo.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “I think you could do the buzzcut.” L “It could stand up. My hair stood up in the past.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “My wife wants me to go shaved on the sides.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 364: R “We should teach a class on singing backwards for children. We would become billionaires.” “We go around to homeschoolers’ homes. ‘Hey, mom! Hey, dad! We’re here to teach your kids how to sing backwards. Give us a billion dollars.’ We’re called ‘The Backwards Boys.’” “Yeah, when you do something like the Red House commercial, we should call it ‘adgertising.’” “Business man and the boy dot com!” “You should great about that! You’re relatable! You’re like a five year old.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “That’s what we could be called.” L “The cool guys who adgertise.” R “The cool adgertising guys teach you how to sing backwards kids dot com.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “I love these kids!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I think that the assumption may be that you think that the kids, our kids watch our videos.” R “Or our wives, for that matter. Sadly, no, that’s not the case.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You know how babies don’t have a lot of detail. That was my joke. Went really deep.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>R “My grandmother told my parents that I look like a rodent the first time she saw me. She did. She was like, ‘looks like a rat.’ Spit her snuff out.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 365: R “I love my purple v-neck.” L “A lot of collar going on over here! You’re welcome.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “You gotta put your shirt where your mouth is, or your blouse, or whatever-.” R “Put your mouth where your blouse is.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>L “The sock knows where it wants to goes.” R “Trust the sock maker!”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “I don’t touch your hair often but when I do, my hand gets greasy.” “First ever slow fade in a ‘Good Mythical More.’”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b5-67de-706f-4df989451aef"><span>R “Seriously, this is over the top. People judge because of this. I’m discriminated against because of my hair and people think that I care too much about myself. I’ve experienced that quite a few times. I just say, ‘listen, man. It’s in a logo. What can I do.’”</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 366: L “Locknessasaurus.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">R “The bigger the hump, (pauses) the more the mating happens.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: R “This is literally translated, ‘horned demon from the river of death.’”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-06f9e53b-072f-7862-ccba-362eddb48a23">L “What my wife calls me sometimes.” (raps)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">GMM 367: R “Tell Sam Rockwell that. ‘Altitoots,’ a new movie from Rhett & Link. Farting in the mountain.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">L “Where else can you go and it’s expected that you’re gonna be farting up a storm. Nowhere but Park City. Tourism department.”</p>
<p dir="ltr">GMMore: L “Your hair’s fine, okay?” R “Alright, thanks. It’s better than fine.”</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-091e-da74-345c-cbaae165ad5a">L “I’m a Chili Peppers fan from way back.” “I’ve fangirled over Flea a little bit over the years as, like, done a little research so I know that this is like one of the most tender-hearted individuals on the planet. I’d love to meet him, cry with him about something. He seems like a guy who can cry at anything.” “So, Flea, if you’re out there, I’d love to meet you. I mean, I’ll even drive to Malibu, and I admire your tender-heartedness and I’d love to cry with you while listening to your albums on vinyl because that would be awesome.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 368: R “Nicolas Sparks. I will cry in a heartbeat. I mean, I don’t need to fake it. I’m gonna cry. ‘The Notebook’? I, like, lost a pound watching that movie.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “Just channel your inner spoiled woman.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span><span> </span></span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMM 369: L “What about a car powered by compressed air?” R “Farts?”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: L “‘Good Mythical More’ is better if you make it better.”</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span id="docs-internal-guid-2790dae2-e6b5-c667-212f-72ada36bfa98"><span>R “Everytime you poop, you’ll be turning on a lightbulb.” “Dog power, the future.”</span></span></span></p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Jan 2tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-01-02:2452419:BlogPost:20837392016-01-02T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>ANNOUNCEMENT!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Alli will be assisting in the daily history posts beginning tomorrow, Jan 3 and will have posts for that week. She's officially taking my place in the rotation of people helping as I am concentrating on school and work. So, please look for her posts for the coming week and then Sarah (RiverMouse) will continue with her week, etc.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Alli's page:…</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>ANNOUNCEMENT!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Alli will be assisting in the daily history posts beginning tomorrow, Jan 3 and will have posts for that week. She's officially taking my place in the rotation of people helping as I am concentrating on school and work. So, please look for her posts for the coming week and then Sarah (RiverMouse) will continue with her week, etc.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Alli's page: <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/AkviA%C2%A0">http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/AkviA </a>;</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Be sure to thank her for being her mythical best! </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>And if anyone else is interested in helping out, that's absolutely great! This is an open activity for everyone and I already know that the coming months will involve A LOT of content to list here, so please do all you can, beasts, to help pull together the amazing things Rhett and Link have done over the years so we can share and enjoy together! </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-9e808650-1a30-92c6-5cfa-c56a52a9000d"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-d797-adce-139e-44b1204cdf71"><br/> <span>BYMB!</span></span></p>
<p><span><span>Jan 2 2016, #44</span></span></p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Jan 1tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2016-01-01:2452419:BlogPost:20836452016-01-01T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">HAPPY NEW YEAR, MYTHICAL BEASTS!</p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,…</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">HAPPY NEW YEAR, MYTHICAL BEASTS!</p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-9e808650-1a30-92c6-5cfa-c56a52a9000d"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-d795-a3dd-9844-ce2385ac973f"><br/> <span>BYMB!</span></span></p>
<p><span><span>Jan 1 2016, #43</span></span></p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Dec 31tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2015-12-31:2452419:BlogPost:20837302015-12-31T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"><span>2009: “Happy New Year SONG for you”:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVp-f66rH3E"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVp-f66rH3E</span></a> <span>(outtakes in the description)</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Fan things:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: “Dope Zebra - Rhett & Link” Music Score, by</span> <a href="https://musescore.com/user/151215"><span>juli.zander</span></a> <span>on musescore.com:…</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2009: “Happy New Year SONG for you”:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVp-f66rH3E"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVp-f66rH3E</span></a> <span>(outtakes in the description)</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Fan things:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: “Dope Zebra - Rhett & Link” Music Score, by</span> <a href="https://musescore.com/user/151215"><span>juli.zander</span></a> <span>on musescore.com:</span> <a href="https://musescore.com/user/151215/scores/152155"><span>https://musescore.com/user/151215/scores/152155</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-9e808650-1a30-92c6-5cfa-c56a52a9000d"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-d794-9493-cc37-354037fc35d7"><br/> <span>BYMB!</span></span></p>
<p><span>Dec 31, #42</span></p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Dec 30tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2015-12-30:2452419:BlogPost:20837272015-12-30T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: From Facebook: “</span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/videos/vb.6057751475/10152577148966476"><span>I Don’t Use My Eyes in This Holiday Color Challenge”</span> <span>https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/videos/vb.6057751475/10152577148966476</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>“Happy Bacon Day!” posted on their Google+ page:…</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: From Facebook: “</span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/videos/vb.6057751475/10152577148966476"><span>I Don’t Use My Eyes in This Holiday Color Challenge”</span> <span>https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/videos/vb.6057751475/10152577148966476</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>“Happy Bacon Day!” posted on their Google+ page:</span> <a href="https://plus.google.com/+rhettandlink/posts/i4vNmXHgXmU"><span>https://plus.google.com/+rhettandlink/posts/i4vNmXHgXmU</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Guest Appearances:</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2009: “The STUPIDEST NEWS STORIES of 2009 (a song)” from vlogbrothers Youtube channel:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b4HyQjMmx0"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b4HyQjMmx0</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-9e808650-1a30-92c6-5cfa-c56a52a9000d"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>BYMB!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Dec 30, #41</span></p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Dec 29tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2015-12-29:2452419:BlogPost:20834012015-12-29T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"><span>2008: "Funkmaster Flash Theme Song (2008 Creative SuperNote Winner)"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7VUWEIBVkE"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7VUWEIBVkE</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Fan things:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: “Dope Zebra - Rhett & Link</span> <span>// Synthesia by J'n'F Beatz” from jnfbeatz Youtube channel:…</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2008: "Funkmaster Flash Theme Song (2008 Creative SuperNote Winner)"</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7VUWEIBVkE"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7VUWEIBVkE</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Fan things:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: “Dope Zebra - Rhett & Link</span> <span>// Synthesia by J'n'F Beatz” from jnfbeatz Youtube channel:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnl3v68hohg"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnl3v68hohg</span></a> <span>(incl. downloadable MIDI audio for your own use! The file automatically opened for me in Garageband. I don’t know if it will open in other programs, but worth a shot.)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>*Added Jun 8, 2017: </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>It's not yet this date, but I wanted to go ahead and put this in so I wouldn't forget later. If you've seen "Looking for Ms. Locklear," this might interest you.</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Other: </span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2016: "Lumbee Federal Recognition Update", Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina <a href="http://www.lumbeetribe.com/single-post/2016/12/29/Lumbee-Federal-Recognition-Update" target="_blank">http://www.lumbeetribe.com/single-post/2016/12/29/Lumbee-Federal-Recognition-Update</a>.<br/></span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-9e808650-1a30-92c6-5cfa-c56a52a9000d"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-d790-f877-8ee1-a233e3a17ed9"><br/> <span>BYMB!</span></span></p>
<p><span>Dec 29, #40</span></p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Dec 28tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2015-12-28:2452419:BlogPost:20837262015-12-28T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">2007: RhettandLinKast: "Holiday Limbo Show with Impromtu Singing" <a href="http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/123673">http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/123673</a></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Fan things:</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: “Good Mythical Morning! (A Tribute to the First 6 Seasons)” from</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA96KpOlPNmrxcauhWjw8sg"><span>Isra Morinehtar</span></a><span>’s Youtube channel:…</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">2007: RhettandLinKast: "Holiday Limbo Show with Impromtu Singing" <a href="http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/123673">http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/123673</a></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr">Fan things:</p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: “Good Mythical Morning! (A Tribute to the First 6 Seasons)” from</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA96KpOlPNmrxcauhWjw8sg"><span>Isra Morinehtar</span></a><span>’s Youtube channel:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZxSY01JCX0"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZxSY01JCX0</span></a> <span><br/></span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-9e808650-1a30-92c6-5cfa-c56a52a9000d"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-d78e-ce8f-f6d9-349be2b7a501"><br/> <span>BYMB!</span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr">Dec 28, #39</p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Dec 27tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2015-12-27:2452419:BlogPost:20835492015-12-27T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr">NOTE: Not many episodes this week, due to holiday breaks, so I’ll be featuring some Fan videos and other things I find. Enjoy!</p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Kommunity:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: Mythical Beast #75,000 = Elia Rose Hernandez…</span></p>
<p dir="ltr">NOTE: Not many episodes this week, due to holiday breaks, so I’ll be featuring some Fan videos and other things I find. Enjoy!</p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Kommunity:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: Mythical Beast #75,000 = Elia Rose Hernandez</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/the-kommunity-timeline"><span>http://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profiles/blogs/the-kommunity-timeline</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Fan things:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: “Wheel of Mythicality Song - Rhett and Link (Piano Tutorial) EASY” from Austin H’s Youtube channel:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pl99dKooz7M"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pl99dKooz7M</span></a></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-9e808650-1a41-f3ac-0c82-092d5d7299b7"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-66baddf1-d78b-9e90-8f67-4160cd3bcf4c"><br/> <span>BYMB!</span></span></p>
<p><span><span>Dec 27, #38</span></span></p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Dec 19tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2015-12-19:2452419:BlogPost:20732862015-12-19T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: GMM 596: “Will It Donut?” (season 6 finale) </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySLnOdQDa-Y"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySLnOdQDa-Y</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: “</span><span>Eating Weird Donuts with the Crew”</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/Y4836SF-Jf0"><span>https://youtu.be/Y4836SF-Jf0</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: GMM 352: “The Perfect Free Christmas Gift” (feat. “Chuck…</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: GMM 596: “Will It Donut?” (season 6 finale) </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySLnOdQDa-Y"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySLnOdQDa-Y</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: “</span><span>Eating Weird Donuts with the Crew”</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/Y4836SF-Jf0"><span>https://youtu.be/Y4836SF-Jf0</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: GMM 352: “The Perfect Free Christmas Gift” (feat. “Chuck TestaClaus!”)</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M77LdCDhir4"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M77LdCDhir4</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: “The Perfect Free Christmas Gift - Good Mythical More”</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/FpAtS__mPpA"><span>https://youtu.be/FpAtS__mPpA</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2012: “Speech Jammer Christmas Moments” (clip)</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/YNHRsOdZ3ig"><span>https://youtu.be/YNHRsOdZ3ig</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Promotion Video:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: “Christmas Faces of Rhett, Link, Grace & Hannah | What's Trending Now” from “What’s Trending YouTube channel”:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK-jOXTae2s"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK-jOXTae2s</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Daily Quote: Link - “I stuff underwear every morning, by the way, with myself.” (GMM 352)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-319043d3-1a45-6478-06bd-a48b4ed07f3a"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span id="docs-internal-guid-70a0e052-987a-15b2-507e-718e1589834b"><br/> <span>BYMB!</span></span></p>
<p><span><span>Dec 19 2015, #30</span></span></p>This Day in Rhett & Link History! Dec 18tag:rhettandlinkommunity.com,2015-12-18:2452419:BlogPost:20736472015-12-18T08:00:00.000ZHeather S. (YogaGhost)https://rhettandlinkommunity.com/profile/yogaghost
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: GMM 595: “Ugliest Christmas Sweaters Ever”</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgvc1b7RdwI"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgvc1b7RdwI</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: “</span><span>Holiday Jelly Bean Taste Test Challenge”</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/JP8XxYlpzfA"><span>https://youtu.be/JP8XxYlpzfA</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: GMM 351: “Meeting Our Hero” …</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2014: GMM 595: “Ugliest Christmas Sweaters Ever”</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgvc1b7RdwI"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgvc1b7RdwI</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: “</span><span>Holiday Jelly Bean Taste Test Challenge”</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/JP8XxYlpzfA"><span>https://youtu.be/JP8XxYlpzfA</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: GMM 351: “Meeting Our Hero” </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV7pPIZXxSk"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV7pPIZXxSk</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>GMMore: “</span><span>Meeting Our Hero - Good Mythical More”</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/1AxzxErmDCY"><span>https://youtu.be/1AxzxErmDCY</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Music Video:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>“Christmas Face (a Song)”</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/LmoA3MjymKs"><span>https://youtu.be/LmoA3MjymKs</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2012: “Kids w/ Chuck Testa Claus”</span> <a href="https://youtu.be/SbmECogzsAs"><span>https://youtu.be/SbmECogzsAs</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Guest Appearance:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2013: “CHRISTMAS FACE (BEHIND THE SCENES) from DailyYou YouTube channel:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzg957CJktU"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzg957CJktU</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Fan Things:</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>2010: “WE MEET RHETT AND LINK!!” from TheHappyNarwhals YouTube channel, winner of Top Female Supernote 2010:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJoMaZUVeOE"><span>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJoMaZUVeOE</span></a></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Daily Quote: Rhett - “Hey, you shouldn’t be looking at surf booties at work, man. Not safe for work!” (GMM 595)</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>If there’s something here that I may have missed, please comment below!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>Follow Rhett & Link on their</span> <a href="http://www.rhettandlink.com"><span>Website</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/rhettandlink"><span>Main YouTube Channel</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink4"><span>Extras - Rhett & Link channel</span></a><span>, Talk show:</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink2"><span>Good Mythical Morning</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/rhettandlink3"><span>Good Mythical More</span></a><span>, Social Media:</span> <a href="http://instagram.com/rhettandlink"><span>Instagram</span></a><span>,</span> <a href="https://www.facebook.com/RhettAndLink/timeline"><span>Facebook,</span></a> <a href="http://twitter.com/rhettandlink"><span>Twitter</span></a><span>, &</span> <a href="http://rhettandlink.tumblr.com/"><span>Tumblr</span></a><span>! Listen and Subscribe to their podcast,</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>Ear Biscuits</span></a><span>, on</span> <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/ear-biscuits/id717407884?mt=2"><span>iTunes</span></a> <span>and</span> <a href="https://soundcloud.com/earbiscuits"><span>Soundcloud</span></a><span>!</span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span id="docs-internal-guid-319043d3-1a4b-e7f6-274e-598f07f3c041"><span>Join/Follow the</span> <a href="http://rhettandlinkommunity.com"><span>RhettandLinKommunity</span></a> <span>Fansite Today!</span></span></p>
<p><span><span> </span></span></p>
<p dir="ltr"><span>BYMB!</span></p>
<p>Dec 18 2015, #29</p>