Home of Rhett & Link fans - the Mythical Beasts!
As the next Black Friday is coming up, we speculate past the confines of this year and this decade to see out ahead as to what Black Friday might look like a few years from now. Indeed its a day of long lines and great savings but many shoppers and employees in certain parts of the country are looking towards this day with dread. Still willing to try and swipe a good deal, they gear up for what would be considered by them a 24 hour apocalypse. This fear is not unfounded as year after year more videos pop on YouTube with the growing Black Friday violence: people near trampled to death at the door, mothers attacking people with pepper spray, and fist fights over a $99 bicycle. Likely when you turn on the news during and after this day, you're going to see many more examples of what makes some people call this day, "Black Eye Friday"
However, being that there are already major cuts being done in security and defense spending, it's not too far-fetched of an idea that soon many districts will not have the police to contain the growing outbreak of violence each year. Soon stores are plagued by property damage from fights and riots. Spiking hospital bills are going unpaid to add further to the debt crisis scaling up to a crisis all of its own.
With no other options, the Federal Government in conjunction with major retail stores come up with idea on how to recover the losses incurred by Black Friday by changing it into a country-wide sporting and television event called Retail Wrestlemania where massive money is made from fans tuning in to watch the action and the winners go home with the last item on the shelf and plenty more exhibition matches. The revenue and popularity of this Retail Wrestlemania explodes and becomes the permanent replacement for Black Friday.
With this mythical foresight, I say we should get ahead of the curve and start coining signature moves so when Retail Wrestlemania is born we'll we have a chance of going down in history or at the least, Wikipedia. I've already got a few myself though I have not been able to practice them. Check these out:
The Walmart Rollback-Breaker
The Wait Your Turnbuckle
The Pain Check
The Flying "Tickle-Me" Elbow
This is chance of a lifetime to make an impact on the future. If you got some sweet Retail Wrestlemania moves and techniques, write em in here.